I'm sorry things are rough for you like that. At the same time, it's redeeming in a way, because you know the truth and as rough as it is, you're moving forward. Lots of hugs as you go through this all.

These harken back to what I said about sacrificing identity, character and decoration for the sake of simplicity, effectiveness, practicality and a wider appeal. These forums used to be a place where we'd be weird and nerdy together and part of that was thanks to both the guilds and RPG character setup. Someone could ask you what NF is and what you do there, and you knew  the answer, it felt specific and frankly, kinda strange to explain. Now it's... just another forum where you can log your workouts and eating? Seriously, what's the appeal, what separates it from other fitness communities, especially in the age of the MCU and and videogaming and whatnot, where "nerdy" has gone mainstream. You could go to any other platform/app/community and log your food/workouts, chances are you could also meet someone to talk about nerdy stuff too. What's the appeal of NF now, what makes it unique? And don't tell me "it's a positive community of great people" because 1) that can also be found elsewhere and 2) it's something you discover in time, not something you could pitch to someone to get them excited about joining.   Don't get me wrong, I'm just trying to highlight and dissect a situation. This isn't meant to be just complaining and harkening for the good old days. This isn't even aimed at the powers that be at NF and the decisions they've made in time. If anything, this is more akin to group therapy, where we bounce thoughts back and forth trying to understand ourselves and why it feels different now.   There were times I was clashing with my parents (long story) and things they said or did hinted at a knowledge of things I hadn't shared with them, or most people around them. But I'd shared them here and I'd told my parents about NF, so I had reason to believe they were stalking my challenges, which in turn made me more guarded as to what I share here. Then there was a similar situation with my toxic ex. I'd forgotten about it, but was recently reminded of a very telling incident. She too was aware of NF and it was a time, pretty early on in the relationship, where we argued and I'd done something wrong or stupid, don't exactly remember what it was. Point is, she saw that crack in my armor and twisted the knife to death, eventually saying something along the lines of "you know, you keep telling your online friends about the good stuff in your life and how awesome you are, but sounds to me you're hiding the real you and your less appealing aspects". So, in a typical move of narcissism, she played my 'honesty' card in order to essentially have me come on NF to make a public apology of sorts, about how I'm not really who I portray myself as but actually shittier... and all that for what? To hurt my online image? To publically shame me? To show my online friends that she is in the right in a real life argument we had? I dunno man, in hindsight I feel like I should have kept this place closer to my heart and more separate from my real life.   Not really, I don't quite agree with comparing the two. One comes on NF to meet new people and connect with them. No one goes on Facebook, Twitter or TikTok with the explicit intention of meeting new people there. The point I was trying to make is that, at an earlier point, the only way I could connect with my NF friends, was to log on the forums, follow their challenges, PM them etc. Nowdays I've already added most of my NF friends on various messengers and social media; I see their life updates much faster than they might post them on NF, we chat in person for more personal stuff they wouldn't normally post about on their challenges. We're already connected in a faster, more personal and convenient way. Thus, I have less reason and motivation to log on NF and see what these people are doing, because I already know from other sources, sometimes more than what they're sharing on the forums.   Yeah, Warhammer does tend to attract a certain kind of demographic, 40K especially. It only gets worse in time with the decisions GW are making. Don't get me wrong, I'm kinda proud you didn't connect with those people because I think you're way better than them.   It is compulsive spending. We've been conditioned to do that, chasing that next little dopamine hit. Social media are largely to blame for this, but you could argue the same for the aggressive monetization in videogames with microtransactions and lootboxes. And it's promote because it makes money for corporations. The Warhammer situation you're describing isn't any different from compulsively buying shiny new games, often on a lucrative time limited discount, then never really playing them and ending up with a massive videogame backlog. Or being stressed and going out on a "shopping therapy" spree just to feel prettier and end up with a bunch of new clothes.   This reasoning, and the fact that GW has chosen to embrace and promote it, explains most of the types you encountered. People who compulsively buy miniatures they'll never assemble, paint and play with. People who put armies together and then just move to the next one. Store owners who just encourage these mentalities. It keeps the money machine going. No one wants to disuss lore with you, unless 1) they want to argue about it (which Warhammer fans are notorious for, and this caters to a certain sub-group of people like that "I've perfected the game to I insta-beat everyone so I'm better than everyone" Blood Angels guy you mentioned) or 2) your interest in lore means you're willing to buy novels, in which case hand us over your money. And in time, even the lore becomes meaningless to be invested in because here's a new rollout of miniatures that aren't even compatible with the lore, so too bad for the lore, it'll get re-written.   And that's not even a Warhammer thing. Star Wars suffered the same fate when Disney purchased it, killed what was called the "Expanded Universe" and re-wrote things in the worst way possible, just so it could keep cranking out progressively worse quality inconsistent 'content'. Dungeons & Dragons just needs a few friends, paper, pencils, dice and an agreed ruleset to run; you can still play with the first books published in the late 70s, but that doesn't make money for its publishers, so every decade or so you're hit with a new edition, a million "supplemental" books, now all the services going online and becoming subscription based, all of that coupled with a push that if you're not playing the official current version and products (and thus spending money for it) you're doing it wrong.   Which bleeds into... There's no need for a conspiracy theory, it's just reasonable for the ruling class to make people more individualized and alienated so they'll spend more in search of happiness, identity, connection and all the things they've been stripped of. That and the more you make people like that, the more they're likely to seek comfort instead of rising up in rebellion. Again, no conspiracy theory here, it's not the capitalists in some dark room smoking cigars and plotting the end of the world. It's all a series of decisions that add up.   Which again bleeds into... People being like that prevents them from questioning things, as mentioned. There's another key element here though, and that's getting people used to skipping the actual mental legwork. Everything comes pre-chewed and digested for your convenience, whether it's short clips summarizing stuff or podcasts/video essays breaking things down. Our brains are used to getting that dopamine hit within seconds of receiving the information or scrolling past, so we end up skim reading things. Thus the algorithm feeds us either things that already align with our worldviews or the exact opposite to cause an enraged reaction. Which in turn, gets us into a habit of not only consuming information like that, but also reacting in a very immediate, emotional and overblown way. And, to circle back to my previous point, such people are easier to manipulate, less likely to question and more prone to mindless, emotional and poorly -if at all- thought out purchases.   The evolution of D2 and WoW closely mirrors what we've been discussing about NF. There was a basic premise, the game(ification), that drew you in, but it was other people you interacted with while playing the game, that kept you returning. Nowdays there's no discovery in D2 or WoW or most other new games, because before you even touch them there's wikis up, walkthroughs, videos on best builds etc. You don't play to figure things out and thus miss the joy of discovery. Most people in those games mindlessly play them, aim for the most efficient* way to beat the game and berate you for not having the optimal build or playing the optimal way. Reminds me of that Fleekazoid clip you shared on a past challenge of mine about the System Shock 2 remake and CLASSIC GAME DESIGN.    *this focus on efficiency at all costs vs the joy of error and discovery is connected to what I said earlier about decoration and character getting sacrificed at the altar of functionality and minimalism.

Because you enjoy swimming in unsanitary water? 😅

Hey Rookie   Hope you have a lovely day

I found out yesterday that, despite what I thought, there wasn't a promotion included with this recent pay increase, which I have mixed feelings about, but if it turns out they only care about getting the work out of me and nothing is really changing, the raise will substantially shorten the amount of time I'll have to put up with things-- when my loans are paid off and I can take a huge pay cut and do what I want.   Got a late start today, didn't have time to prepare food for work, and this made it difficult to hit my 220 g protein for the day. And there was a lot of junk in place of it.   Did my first workout in quite a while tonight. In summary, I'm doing a body building style program, whole body workouts but with an upper body emphasis. Tonight I started with pushups and rows, did a lot of sets of dumbbell exercises, then finished with a few sets of squats and good mornings. This workout was a tester. I put my numbers into the app along with some feedback about how things felt, and later some AI will spit out a meso cycle to run for the next month.   I also found out, mid-workout that my microplates don't fit on my Oly-dumbbell handles, so I ordered a set of nicer handles, and an EZ curl bar, and a tricep bar. Extra bars will make supersets and weight swaps easier any how.    

This was definitely a night of flobbling home and wishing I lived on a canal. It was a good swim. I didn't notice the time pass at all. I should be able to swim home. This would all be fine if I lived on the Thames like a proper river god.

I really, really enjoy this song. *Bops along*

AP nailed it.    Sending you such love, RES. 💜 That's so hard. 

I love this for you. 💜