As promised, some ideas for moving forward with the GIANT asterisk that I'm not in any way qualified to lead, but willing to help facilitate. 😊   Scripture in hymns/songs   Do you know that scene in the Johnny Cash biopic Walk the Line where he's a kid talking to his brother and says something along the lines of "I can't memorize Scripture the way you can" and his brother says "but you do know all the hymn lyrics." I relate to that so hard and it's stuck with me all this time. I grew up in a very Southern tiny church that sang almost exclusively hymns so I have several memorized at this point.   After my Bible read through last year, I was surprised at how many hymns and worship lyrics I recognized in different verses, sometimes word for word! So we could share some of our favorite worship songs and find the related verses to help us memorize and maybe gain greater understanding/appreciation for the songs.     (This also doubles as me getting some song recs from all of y'all )   Wisdom Books   Bible study (in my NF journey anyway) is tied to my Wisdom stat. The Book of Proverbs is known for its short sayings to help illustrate the 'right' or 'best' way to live. There are 2 other Wisdom books: Job and Ecclesiastes though which are meatier and deeper in to the harder questions of life.    I have linked below the Bible Project playlist about each of these books that inspired this idea.     Stoic Influences in New Testament   I recently heard John Mark Comer talking about this in the Art of Manliness Podcast (one of my favorites even though I am no man ) I'm interested in Stoicism and if I can study/explore how it dovetails with Christian beliefs, it sounds like a worthwhile endeavor.  And if we happen upon some verses that succinctly sum it up for us, so much the better!   What do y'all think? Open to other ideas or modifying these. 😊  

Behold the awesome power of Camera ON A STICK!  It did require the use of the only slightly less amazing Rag on a Stick

Available in kindle format on amazon, and I have purchased it as a possible shared read for Georgia and me. Thank you for the recommendation.   I 100% count this.   The Eight of Cups resonates for me with where you are: taking stock, assessing, and moving beyond what you know. I find it a more positive card than Biddy seems to, and I'm glad you had other resources available to help guide you. Yes, it is about withdrawing, but really as part of the process of stepping back and taking a look at what you have, what serves you, and what gaps there are in preparation. This is a perfect origin moment card.  Also, what is not to love about the Star? What a great pair of cards for you today.   When I got sober in 2015, I lost all my relationships in one way or another, up to an including my children. I had been participating in a similar bad bargain with society, offering my fix-all-your-problems energy in return for being loveable. Gosh, I was so wrong, but that's okay. What's interesting is that all the "intervention for the benefit of the children" was really bogus: the children were doing much better when I was doing better, as is often the case. No one cared enough to intervene on anything as long as I wasproblem-fixing, and all the "interventions" were actually meant as punishment and pressure to have me return to my problem-fixing ways. NOPE. (Did I fight this pubnishment? Of course I did.) Unfortunately, the kids were in the hands of those who couldn't manage their own lives, let alone brilliant and beautiful young minds such as my children's, and there was a lot of toxic fallout that I am (and they are) still living through. My change was necessary and essential to being a human being. I continue to hold space for the possiblility of reunification and peace, because that's who I am now. No matter how much or little we lose along the Way, the process of loss is always diffucult. Will it be worth it? You betcha.   And you are not alone. You have minions.     NeedleScreech. Autumn Villiany Apple Fest! Now with more Legumes and Hags* than ever! *not haggis. That's the other festival, down by the stone circle across the Lake.    

Yesterday in the office, did morning run and walking commute but decided against walking to singing in favour of meeting briefly with fwb (can you believe it's quite hard to find a secluded nook in Central London for making out...) Did I mention I'm absolutely teen-crushing hard here... No regrets. Food was snacky as a previous team member had sent over a lil care package of American candy, and I LOVE a butterfinger. Went for a drink after singing so home late, but went to sleep pretty swiftly as I was shattered.   Foods: 1 Exercise: 2 Sleeps: 2 Bonus? 0 Total: 5pts Challenge total: 123pts

I'm feeling pretty darn good this morning. Slight time crunch, so shortened my walk some, but it was really good to be out while I was. Got most of the goals done yesterday except for showing and drinking water. I'm not not drinking, I'm just putting Mio or electrolyte stuff in the water, and I want to work on drinking just plain water.    Goals for today Walk in the park ✔️ Work AM Spanish Drink water Shower Work in kitchen Finish 2 lessons  PM Spanish

Uhm, excuse me but, what the actual hell?     Now let's get a few facts straight before we get into the actual subject matter. CrossFit has been my workout of choice for years, actually from when I first joined NerdFitness around 2014 till about 2018 if I'm not mistaken. It's probably the most physically demanding one I've done (right up there with Muay Thai) and arguably the time I was in the best physical shape I've ever been in. I've gone to affiliated boxes. I've participated in the Open. That's all to say, I'm not coming into this as a hater, because taking jabs at CrossFit has been a thing since it first came into the scene. At the same time, I like to think I've always had a critical approach to it and never really drank the kool aid. I never said "it's not a workout, it's a lifestyle change" or any of those catchphrases. I never thought the Paleo diet was the best thing ever, because it wasn't backed by scientific evidence or, let's be honest, basic logic: our pre-agriculture ancestors weren't fitter because they didn't eat grains and processed food, they were fitter because they lived a much more physical lifestyle than we do (and were also more exposed to diseases and an early death, but let's not even go there yet). I did however appreciate it as a good way to get people, especially Westerners and more specifically Americans, to at least cut down on sugar, fast food and processed crap. I didn't idolize "The Community" and see fellow Crossfitters as an extended family just because we happened to train the same way.   Which brings me to what I've dubbed "The Glassman - Castro dichotomy". Which man's vision you subscribe to.   Greg Glassman is a former gymnastics coach who tried to come up with a method for the most efficient way to work out, thus creating CrossFit (the training). In order to do so in a believable way and defend his creation, he would always have a ton of empirical, test and other hard data to back up everything he was saying. You could very much say he was a fitness nerd. And other than my own personal experience with CrossFit, that's what really sold me on the whole thing. I could be doing all these weird movements or working out under duress, but there was scientific evidence there to prove that this was the optimal way to train. One more thing to point out before moving on, Glassman intentionally wanted to utilize his training method for those in service (policemen, firefighters, military personel etc) because he believed it's those people who need to be in peak physical shape in order to do what they do. This will become important down the line, but for now just keep in mind that CrossFit had, from the start, deep roots in people who wear a uniform to work.   To be fair, I don't know if it was CrossFit (the company) or the CrossFit Games that came first. The company makes sense, Glassman needed to promote his training method, brand it (he even came up with a whole new lingo) and I guess monetize it too, though I can't help but feel he wasn't exactly in this to get rich. The Games began from people doing the same workout and timing themselves as a friendly online competition (what would later become "The Open" which is both a celebration of the Community for us mere mortals and the CF Games qualifiers for full-on athletes) then the best of them gathered around in some ranch to throw down and see who comes out on top. Between the Company and the Games, Glassman probably realized he needed help and couldn't -or wouldn't- run everything on his own, so he outsourced a thing or two. Enter Dave Castro.   Dave Castro is a former Navy SEAL (remember those ties of CrossFit to the military?) and while he'd technically hold the title of "Director of the CrossFit Games" he would more or less become the face of the Games and eventually, Crossfit altogether. There is no doubt the man knows media and has a hearty chunk of charisma. He very much reminds me of Eric Bischoff, and that's not the only analogy I noticed as a fan of pro wrestling. Castro would turn the games into a spectacle. He went from announcing workouts and handing out awards to being front and center for every Open workout, or anything media related that was tied to the Company really. He went from that ranch to big stadiums and venues, higher production values, sponsorship deals, documentaries... and all the while I remember feeling more and more disconnected from what I knew, or what the company was trying to market themselves at. Crossfit started gritty, with people working out in their garages and looking like a mess while doing it, because they were putting the work in, but here were pro athletes looking like models in a commercial. It was supposed to be something approachable you could scale so everyone could do it, but things were getting more and more inhuman with every Games and the performances witnessed. And this began reflecting in every day people you'd see in a box as well, more flashy in their official Reebok Crossfit gear, more obsessed with performance and trashing other people than supporting and lifting them up.   I remember when the first Crossfit athlete in the Games was caught using PEDs and disqualified. Yes it's sports, there's money on the line and the drive to win, someone will be tempted to cheat to win, but that was an even greater blow for a community that prided itself on honesty and friendly competition. On people who didn't count reps if the technique wasn't right or the range of motion wasn't full. Who'd employ judges to check that stuff, or submit videos of themselves for the Open to ensure they're not cheating. It was a big PR blow and also a blow to the very essence of what Crossfit was claiming to be.   Besides that gradual change in attitude and presentation, I remember feeling weird doing Hero workouts, which is super difficult workouts named in honour of service(wo)men, mostly military, who fell while in service. I remember feeling weirded even by the word "Hero" for some US soldier who died in Iraq or Afghanistan, wars I was very strongly against. Then I remember cringing even harder when I found out there's another catchphrase involved, supposedly to push people through these harder workouts: "if it feels bad for you, imagine how it felt for them". Okay, so I'm dying during a super hard workout and me, a random European who doesn't support US military invasions, am supposed to suddenly get inspired by thinking of some soldier who died in one of them?   Then came the guns. Oh man, the guns. So last Games I bothered with, Dave Castro made an announcement before they began that the winner would be awarded, among other things, a Glock pistol. Them ties to the military again. He caught a lot of flak for that announcement and rightfully so, because regardless of what you think about gun ownership and safety, what the hell does a pistol even have to do with a competition of physical fitness. And just when I hoped they'd pull back on that awful idea, last year's champion Matt Fraser, who'd also eventually win that year again, posted a picture of himself with about a dozen Glocks, index finger through the trigger guard of 5-6 in each hand, plus some stupid caption of "I don't get what the problem is" or "hey why compete about that I already got a bunch". It was tone deaf and it was the exact point I forever checked out of what had become the CrossFit Games.   Fast forward to 2024. In a constant bid for greater spectacle and more insane physical tests, people are made to run first, then exhausted as they are, do a swim. There's no scientific reason for this to happen, matter of fact the science warning against the risk of doing it isn't even considered. Apparently neither is the science related to weather, as someone thought it was a great idea to do the Games outdoors, in the middle of August (just so they'd be on at the same time as the Olympics) in Texas. And I remember back when I'd follow the Games, some running competition in the sun that had athletes stretchered out due to heatstroke and exhaustion, but hey who cares about that. Not just that, but there were no life guards around, no people on jetskis or some other fast transport/rescue thing but instead... 3 people on paddleboards for 80 competitors? And from what was apparent from the video, they literally saw that man struggle for a decent amount of time, right next to them, until he drowned? This is criminal incompetence and it's not mere idiocy at play. This is intentionally focusing on the spectacle and the more profitable aspects (notice how everyone seemed to care about the returning ex-champion Tia Claire Toomey and everyone else be damned) at the expense of literal human lives of participants. And then, just so they party wouldn't stop, the decision was made to maintain the illusion, rescue those money deals and throw in a short tribute? Back to wrestling, this feels like WWF Over the Edge 1999 and continuing the show after Owen Hart literally fell to his death onto the wrestling ring.   I used to like CrossFit, even as I had a bunch of asterisks on several of its... aesthetic choices, shall we call them, but what the actual fuck has become of it.

Me too -- it's really nice. ❤️  It was lovely.   I had a hard time falling asleep last night, right up until I didn't, and then, Friends, I had the soundest sleep I've had in ages. AGES! Yes, Zazen, but also let's not overlook a week or more of daily fiber, whole grains, and simple living, as well as some magnesium. I am looking back and seeing that the field is fertile. I've done a good job of preparing for the miracle, and this will require maintenance.  This less is more activity has made space to reveal what's foundationally good. This is the Way.   I'm down to the last serving of white beans in the fridge, not even a whole cup, so I'll probably toss them into a small serving of the chicken noodle soup that remains and call that lunch. Today's bean pot offering is black turtle beans. When added to rice, they provide all the amino acids needed to build protein, and that's always a nice bonus.  I waxed on about foods with vitamin C in Sovalis' thread, and now I'm craving sweet potatoes, so I pick up a few if they have them at the farm-share store tomorrow. I took the whole day off tomorrow for an eye appointment -- the closest neuro-optometrist is an hour away, and becuase my eyes will be all funky from the drops, I've had to schedule a friend to drive me. We're looking forward to getting to catch up, and I'm glad I've given myself the rest of the day to simply be me and enjoy some time off on the same afternoon as the farm-share delivery.    I've been thinking about food a lot, and how it has been important in the ground that I've held, and even the gains I've made this challenge, and how often that is the case. I'm considering making a Heart & Hearth list for next challenge, laying out the foods I eat and buy and prepare, and being more mindful by writing the journey and the reflection.  I can't believe we're in week four already -- it's flying by, and as I mention in Sov's thread, there's exactly half a moon left to this challenge, a great time to discern what has been reveealed under this week's full moon light and to gather up loose ends, take stock of our tools and our strengths before we set off on the next leg of the journey together.  🦋

Hello Friends,   I'm typing this in between meetings so it may be a little wonky. I'm doing my best!   I am feeling a bit better. I do have some pressure in my hears which is causing my hearing to be muffled. This is not fun considering I need to be on calls and listening today which is very hard to do. I can only do my best, though, so that's what I'm aiming for. The important people know my current sickness situation so they're understanding and trying their best to accommodate me without making too much extra work for anyone.   Food was good yesterday. I started off strong but I lost my appetite through the day. I couldn't quite finish dinner. I managed to eat some small snacks to make up for not finishing dinner and still met macros. Today I struggled with breakfast but I pushed through anyway. I have a chicken wrap planned for lunch and I hope it's easier to get through. Dinner is the Tuscan tortellini salad. I wasn't a fan of it Monday but I was in the weeds of this sickness and my taste buds were wonky so I'm hoping today it tastes better. I have room for some snacks in my macros which I'll work through later based on how I'm feeling with lunch and dinner progress (If I do manage to eat them in full as logged).   No workout again. I did get a bug and I knocked out 5 bodyweight squats and 5 full (no knees) pushups. That was a feat - I haven't been able to do 5 pushups in a row without dropping to my knees in years!!! It felt good to get that movement. Even though it seemed like such a small thing, it satisfied my craving for movement and I'm content now. I might aim for those small movements to satisfy the craving of the gym without stressing my body and allowing it to properly recover.   So the Man got the job offer in full (background check and all came back clear) but his vacation didn't get approved. So he's listening to his gut and turned it down. The lady told him that his application is valid for 60 days from yesterday. They're going to open the position back up and he's able to reapply. She made a note to reach back out to him on September 30th if the position hasn't been filled to see if he's still interested. If that's the case, he can take the job and still go on vacation. If it's not available, it wasn't meant to be. The position has been open since May and 45 people have applied. Out of the 45, 8 people actually passed the interview. Out of those 8, he's the only one that went forward to even start the background check process (and by default, the only to get the "all clear" on the background check). So there seems to be a good chance the job will still be open for him when the time comes, but this is all up to the Universe and the next ~45 days of thinking this over, weighing pros and cons, and working through any stuck points he has. His concern is that he's throwing away a career out of fear and that the job he's wanted all his life isn't all he's hyped it up to be. So this is his way of going "Okay Universe, I will let you guide me" and if the job isn't there on Sept 30th, it wasn't meant to be. If it is, then we know it was meant to be.   Apparently my guidance helped the Man get 100% on two of his assignments, one of which was a re-do on an assignment he failed. The other we had to put our brains together to try to come up with something. This is good, but unfortunately, in this class, the assignments build on each other. Meaning that we have to use these past assignments to keep building up and up on. In other words, I'll be needing to have some mental capacity for the next 6 weeks to assist him through this class. Whew!   Yesterday I finally sat down and wrote down all the oils for skin care and delegated certain oils to night serum vs day serum. I was low on night serum so I also used those notes to create (and write down) the serum I mixed up for a new batch. I'll adjust based on results and now I can reference what I've already done, too. I'll do the same when I need to make more day serum. I also went ahead and ordered a few of the oils I've been really wanting to include in my skin care routine. It's an up-front cost but they'll last quite a while and hopefully improve my routine that much more. I also forced myself to do my Gua Sha routine yesterday and today to get back into some kind of routine despite not feeling 100%. I do feel so much better having a clean, cleared, and massaged skin. I may not feel great, but being a little bit more alive is better than nothing and I'll take any little bit I can to feel even the slightest better.   Being sick, I've been very slow overall. In that, I haven't really found the time to meditate and really put into practice the lessons I've been learning in Super Attractor like I want to. It seems by the time I finish with work, then dinner, it's bedtime already! Jeez. I didn't realize taking the notes on all my essential oils and creating my new serum took me 2.5 hours but it did. I also seem to have lost a day because I was absolutely convinced today was Tuesday. Imagine my surprise when I realized it is already Wednesday and I feel like I haven't done a single productive thing for work this week so far. My goodness I'm going to have to work so hard to make up for my slowness. Anyway, I hope I can start my journaling to put into practice the lessons today. I have plenty of notebooks to do this with so I need to pull that out so it's not out of sight out of mind.   That's really all I have to update at this time. I'm hoping that I keep feeling better so I can be more productive at work and therefore have more time/mental capacity to check in with all of you. Thanks for sticking with me, anyway. I am really grateful for each and every one of you ❤️     

You did a test of banning the internet using certain tools. You learned a lot about what kind of interaction you are prone towards and how that affects your mental state.   If you decide to keep a log of food and mood, you might also add in activities and mood. How do you feel physically, mentally and emotionally? I can imagine something like Sovalis' bujo, with 5 boxes under each heading. That would let you quickly note what you did and how you feel afterwards, in a scale of amazing - better than usual - normal - worse than usual - terrible. There are other approaches that could work too.   The internet has a lot of different things. Working through an online art lesson is different from watching Youtube videos which are different from reading and writing here on NF. I find that interacting here gives me a feeling of connection with other people that I really value. I want that when I scroll FB but am always disappointed. Look at what you are doing and the medium you are using to do it.

I very much agree with everything you wrote, but got briefly distracted by reading this as "social applesauce machines." I'm not sure what social applesauce is, but it sounds kind of gross and unappealing. For villainy and fresh apples!