Yeah, having to go outside a set routine and make it up on the fly is hard. Getting the flexibility right without tanking your energy takes much practice. I still screw up sometimes doing it. You just have to try and be really aware of your energy levels and call things before you hit empty. So tricky.   I wish i had answers for you. Thats the thing, i really don't know. The lack of answers as to cause currently on it means everyone is very much on a trial error type scenario.  theres some m.e. Charity's out there that are very good info resources for alot of info on managing it and they are definitely worth checking out.   

Day 09/15 09/16 09/17 09/18 09/19 Success% 57% 63% 89% 71% 63% Walk Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Body measurements     Yes     Breakfast     Yes Yes   Hygiene routine Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Form checks           Workout Yes   Yes   Yes Progress pictures           Taxes Yes         Decluttering Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Batch cooking Yes         Architect contact Yes         Engineering practice           Financial accounting Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Contacts database           Financial spreadsheet consolidation           Professional files consolidation           To bed by 10 pm   Yes Yes    

RIGHT?!?   #DruidApproved.  

Oh, thank goodness someone else said it. Sometimes I think I should give goats another shot, but then I lie down in a quiet room until it goes away.   I recall them coming up in my research as a really nice breed. This is giving me the itch to dive back into it. Somedays, cows, someday.   I would have been very surprised if it had not. Thanks for confirming.   . . . I take back everything I said about not putting the burden of change on consumers.

I don't really have a concept of how bouldering grades go. Is a V4 slightly harder than V3, or significantly harder? 

Wednesday   Lifting - no - last night was a mess 1/4 Calories - yes - cool cool 3/7 Kneehab - no - last night was a mess 0/5     The rest of this is just rambling, feel free to skip.   I have Bipolar II.  Not new info for some of you, but there you are.  I'm reading a book about Bipolar Disorder, and it's very interesting.  They're starting to think of it as a spectrum instead of just a couple of fixed classifications, which makes sense for something like a mood disorder, which we've known forever affects different people very differently.  But the DSM is what it is, for better or for worse.   Over the years since I was diagnosed, about 10 years ago, I honestly don't think about it very much.  The meds they put me on back then have worked really well for me all this time, and overall I'm really stable.  I'm very lucky; a lot of people have tons of struggles with finding the right combination of meds and therapies and such.  For me it's like having bad eyesight - it's part of who I am but as long as I wear glasses I'm good.  So for a long time I haven't really learned much about it.  So this book is really interesting, and I'm learning a lot.  It's answering questions I never thought to ask, and connecting dots I didn't think were related.   I've gotten into a couple of Reddit subs as well, which I never really messed around with before.  It's kind of an odd thing, but it's all I could find that scratches the itch of wanting a little bit of community, or even just commiseration, around these things.  Probably there's more stuff out there, and I'll keep looking.  It's strange, because I want to be able to talk with other people about my experiences, but everyone's experiences with bipolar are so different - and most of them are more severe than mine.  It feels hard to connect with people about it.  And, you know, I'm also deeply introverted and awkward anyway, so there's that.   I think I'm done rambling now.

This week I've been troubleshooting my goals... realizing 90% of my battle is keeping up the discipline to keep up with all my goals.  Round up of current goals:  Going to bed before 9 pm ( 8pm is big win) Making food and eating from home that helps me feel good/keeps symptoms down Organize Base camp to make it open to guests in October (and enjoyable/easier to maintain for me and the cats). (Bonus: have it setup to be down for a month due to future surgery) Do physical therapy, chiropractic, acupuncture, Invisalign, and meditation to help maintain my body...  Get stronger... lol. Goals: Do a pushup, row 2000 meters under 8 mins, walk 30k steps in one day.  Do the work to try out operation badass So, a lot of goals... Changing up how I am keeping forward.  Time management and prioritizing what I'm doing daily is my weaknesses. And realizing how tight time gets daily (like super tight) where I default to being overwhelmed, lose confidence and start doom scrolling so I dig a hole of hardcore anxiety.    Upside, I know what happening and also see the cause of overwhelm!   --- Will add the plan later. 

Both sides are tough. Interactions between strangers via a text-only, asynchronous medium is bound to be troublesome. Most of the time, I'd like to just call people and hash it out in real time, but also, I don't want that many people knowing how to contact me directly. They already have my name, because FB. They don't need my phone # as well.     Vets don't really get grossed out by animal stuff. (though there are limits) People, however, are disgusting.

Sorry about the FB frustration. People talk about how frustrating it is to try and sell something online, but buying can be equally difficult.   Probably a good call, but my first thought was "vets don't really get grossed out."

omg goats, just no. Sometimes it seems like everyone in the Sustainable Back To The Earth realms swears by goats, because meat and milk etc, but then you have to ask them: Have you raised a goat? Because they have not. But somewhere, at some point, they read a book about it. *facepalm*   I raised Dexter beef, a small breed of cattle that are really lovely to have in the field. I bought a young steer and a bred heifer (for milk and other steer making--the steer making is solid, but I decided after the end of the year that I wanted Jersey cow milk). One steer was about 800# at the time of harvest (16 months old) and hanging weight of 650#, which was roughly 325# processed. For a family of four, this was a pretty solid investment of $300 purchase price (at 8 months old) and tending the animal. Also the beef tasted amazing.  My environmental costs included the methane of the steer, of course, then the emissions driving the steer to the processing plant (45 miles away), and back again. I chose to go an extra 20 miles to a processor who was certified USDA and paid the extra $1/pound for the USDA inspection stamp, even though I wasn't going to sell the beef. Of course we have to include the costs of running a stand-up freezer full time (I kept chickens, lamb, ducks, and produce in the freezer as well). When I first started doing these sorts of calculations, I had two measures (oil costs and water costs) to compare things like raspberries grown out back to raspberries imported from California or wherever. So the breakdown on costs is significantly different for a family farm than a factory farm, and you're absolutely right to wonder if it matters. It does. The cost to get the beef to my family once it was processed involved literally walking to the freezer and fetching it from the shelf. There's a lot of hidden emissions in trucking food to the warehouse, then from the warehouse to the grocery stores, then your own individual trip to the store.    While I was on a call a couple weeks ago, a coworker mentioned that she was looking forward to a nice quiet weekend at home with her husband and that they had a couple pizzas from Greece on the way. We live in Virginia. Like, Greece the country? I said.  Yes, she replied. Dear heart, they had ordered a pizza from freaking Europe and it was being packed in dry ice and flown to the States to be trucked in from the airport, and she was talking about how she was going to use the dry ice in her Halloween decorations. I honestly thought I was going to be ill.   I had never understood the idea of blasphemy until that moment.