LGBTQA and Ally Safe Space

[Hit]

 

 

Whatever, not hating. Was making fun of an acronym similar to how "alphabet soup" does, I later found out. 

 

Nope, sorry. Let me break this down for you:

1) not part of the queer community, yet making jokes about the identities of people within the queer community

 

2) actively making snide remarks about the meanings of people's identities

 

3) coming here from a cross-post to stir drama

 

You may not think you're hating, but you're certainly not helping. Your attitude is not welcome here.

[Rookiebeotch]

Was just curious, wasn't going to post anything until I couldn't for the life of me figure out what alphabet soup was in this context.

At least I knew 3 of the letters. "Alphabet soup" gets zero letters.

Ill skip this thread in the future. I should have expected a strong reaction. For the record, I'm pro-individuality of any kind.

[Machete]

The debate in question is the debate over gay marriage - meaning a world wide debate, not one happening right here specifically. Comparing homosexuality to pedophilia is rather taboo. Perhaps you didn't know this. However, common sense should dictate that comparing most things to pedophilia is taboo. You were responding to someone who said why - but not someone who said why can't we legally marry. It was to someone who said why can't people get over what two consenting adults choose to do. And you answered with a response that was quite specifically not about consenting adults. Furthermore, you've identified yourself as straight - it's all very well for you to say it's all semantics. To us, it is not. To us, it's our real actual lives. 

 

Having said that, this is meant as a safe space for those of us living this life. And as such, the kind thing to do is to let this argument rest now. 

 

First, I identified myself as straight as a punchline to the joke (which I thought was pretty funny). It was even labeled a joke. I'm not identifying myself as gay, or straight, or bi, on anything, as I don't think I have enough experience to generalize and accurately predict what I am, may, and will be attracted to. Labeling, I think, unnecessarily narrows my options, and unfortunately I don't think attraction works like OkCupid for me, where I can pick a specific demographic dictating what the gender, age, height, body type, and race someone is, and putting shit like "Sorry, only attracted to white guys. I'm not racist--I have black friends." on my attraction profile. I am attracted to whomever I am attracted to, and if I have to pick a label in order to be here then have a nice day. If there happened to be a "you're not queer enough to be here" rule, then I was completely unaware of it and I apologize.

 

But I think I get it. I probably didn't have it as rough as most. I learned to posture, fight, and stay invisible early on so I never really ever had to go snorkeling in toilets. Plus people seemed too preoccupied with other things about me to worry about what I was attracted to. I like to think that people treat me like shit because I'm a retard, and not because of my sexual history/preference. I'm clumsy and awkward, and I tend to offend a lot of people because of the way I learned to say and do things. My entire existence is offensive to society and I'm constantly apologizing for that. (That is why I usually have Bekah chaperoning me around. The safe word is "Pineapples" by the way.) This is why I am ready to apologize for whatever it is any of you found offensive and want me to apologize for.

 

Before that though, I would like to clarify a few things (I am not trying to argue). I do not have "common sense"--I think that is but a collection of unwritten societal prejudices commonly agreed upon. But I am aware that the topic is currently generally frowned upon in society, and I pointed out that people have used the argument precisely for that reason. It just elicits an automatic negative emotional response, and sadly I think a lot of what we think of as "right" or "wrong" is based on emotions. Hence the whole "think of the children" bullshit. (I also did not see "adults" mentioned anywhere in the post, unless children aren't considered people.) However, I think people also have to realize that pedophilia is not a choice as far as we know. It is not something one can effectively cure either. And not every pedophile is a child molester (and vice versa). Now I haven't spoken personally to any deity or prophet that I know of, so I am really in no position to tell a child molester that what s/he is doing is immoral. (I don't think there are a lot of bible verses about it either.) What I do know is that it is currently a criminal act in most countries, and that doing so is illegal, making that person a criminal.

 

Why can't we just grow up and honestly say sex is between two consenting people that happens behind closed doors, honestly who gives a flying fuck if you like your lover to wear a horsehead while whipping you as you sing the Star Spangled Banner, I mean really what the fuck does that have to do with anything important

 

Love is love and until people realize that we are going to stuck in adolescent  years forever

[ColoQ]

Nope, sorry. Let me break this down for you:

1) not part of the queer community, yet making jokes about the identities of people within the queer community

 

2) actively making snide remarks about the meanings of people's identities

 

3) coming here from a cross-post to stir drama

 

You may not think you're hating, but you're certainly not helping. Your attitude is not welcome here.

Hitlion and I don't always agree.. but when we do, we agree about this...

 

sudo circle_wagons /now

 

Let's not continue this conversation, pls....

[shaeon]

First, I identified myself as straight as a punchline to the joke (which I thought was pretty funny). It was even labeled a joke. I'm not identifying myself as gay, or straight, or bi, on anything, as I don't think I have enough experience to generalize and accurately predict what I am, may, and will be attracted to. Labeling, I think, unnecessarily narrows my options, and unfortunately I don't think attraction works like OkCupid for me, where I can pick a specific demographic dictating what the gender, age, height, body type, and race someone is, and putting shit like "Sorry, only attracted to white guys. I'm not racist--I have black friends." on my attraction profile. I am attracted to whomever I am attracted to, and if I have to pick a label in order to be here then have a nice day. If there happened to be a "you're not queer enough to be here" rule, then I was completely unaware of it and I apologize.

 

But I think I get it. I probably didn't have it as rough as most. I learned to posture, fight, and stay invisible early on so I never really ever had to go snorkeling in toilets. Plus people seemed too preoccupied with other things about me to worry about what I was attracted to. I like to think that people treat me like shit because I'm a retard, and not because of my sexual history/preference. I'm clumsy and awkward, and I tend to offend a lot of people because of the way I learned to say and do things. My entire existence is offensive to society and I'm constantly apologizing for that. (That is why I usually have Bekah chaperoning me around. The safe word is "Pineapples" by the way.) This is why I am ready to apologize for whatever it is any of you found offensive and want me to apologize for.

 

Before that though, I would like to clarify a few things (I am not trying to argue). I do not have "common sense"--I think that is but a collection of unwritten societal prejudices commonly agreed upon. But I am aware that the topic is currently generally frowned upon in society, and I pointed out that people have used the argument precisely for that reason. It just elicits an automatic negative emotional response, and sadly I think a lot of what we think of as "right" or "wrong" is based on emotions. Hence the whole "think of the children" bullshit. (I also did not see "adults" mentioned anywhere in the post, unless children aren't considered people.) However, I think people also have to realize that pedophilia is not a choice as far as we know. It is not something one can effectively cure either. And not every pedophile is a child molester (and vice versa). Now I haven't spoken personally to any deity or prophet that I know of, so I am really in no position to tell a child molester that what s/he is doing is immoral. (I don't think there are a lot of bible verses about it either.) What I do know is that it is currently a criminal act in most countries, and that doing so is illegal, making that person a criminal.

 

Machete - your comment was received as offensive, and when you were told so you had a little rant about it. I explained - very calmly - to you why it was offensive, why that kind of thing is going to be offensive to LGBTQA people and in fact to MOST people. I don't know you and I really don't know what you are getting at with this explanation that you don't understand certain things, but you were notified that you offended people. Furthermore, you clearly understand that if you broach the topic of pedophilia, you're going to rile some people up. You keep referring to an apology, but so far you haven't apologized. You've ranted and you seem really put out at us, but you don't apologize. 

If you offend people, you're going to get swatted for it from time to time. It doesn't really matter who you are or whether you're good at understanding certain things - everybody says the wrong thing sometimes and gets called out for it. Nobody gets a free pass on that. Apologize or don't, that's up to you, but we'd really appreciate it if you'd leave this topic alone now. Folks are getting tense and we seem to be getting trolled from cross-posts. It's time to let it go. 

[shaeon]

Hitlion and I don't always agree.. but when we do, we agree about this...

 

sudo circle_wagons /now

 

Let's not continue this conversation, pls....

Sorry, didn't see this before posting. Thank you for the really short version of what I said. Circling wagons, indeed. 

[Hit]

I like to think that people treat me like shit because I'm a retard, and not because of my sexual history/preference.

People arent treating you like shit. Theres no name calling. No threats. No brigading. Just telling you straight up that what you said was offensive and not welcome in this thread.

And then you doubled down. And now youve tripled down. You may not be good with social cues, but thats not a shield and its not a free pass to bury your head in the sand when people are telling you what youre saying is inappropriate.

Recognise what you said was offensive and apologize, and then we all move on. Or just leave. I honestly dont care which.

[starsapart]

Wow, I hadn't peeked in here for awhile and........ uh... maybe I'll just see myself out for awhile longer. 

 

Hope all of you guys are having a good and happy December, and if you're celebrating holidays of any sort, hope those have gone/are going/will go well.  Family occasions are sometimes trying, especially considering families vary in acceptance.....

 

Anyway, lots of love to you all!

[shaeon]

Happy holidays, starsapart. 

[ColoQ]

Wow, I hadn't peeked in here for awhile and........ uh... maybe I'll just see myself out for awhile longer. 

 

Hope all of you guys are having a good and happy December, and if you're celebrating holidays of any sort, hope those have gone/are going/will go well.  Family occasions are sometimes trying, especially considering families vary in acceptance.....

 

Anyway, lots of love to you all!

nope nope nope! Don't go! Happy Holidays!

A fellow assassin, I'm gonna come back into the fold and pick up once the first challenge of the new year hits. just gotta think of my goals. 

[Machete]

Machete - your comment was received as offensive, and when you were told so you had a little rant about it. I explained - very calmly - to you why it was offensive, why that kind of thing is going to be offensive to LGBTQA people and in fact to MOST people. I don't know you and I really don't know what you are getting at with this explanation that you don't understand certain things, but you were notified that you offended people. Furthermore, you clearly understand that if you broach the topic of pedophilia, you're going to rile some people up. You keep referring to an apology, but so far you haven't apologized. You've ranted and you seem really put out at us, but you don't apologize. 

If you offend people, you're going to get swatted for it from time to time. It doesn't really matter who you are or whether you're good at understanding certain things - everybody says the wrong thing sometimes and gets called out for it. Nobody gets a free pass on that. Apologize or don't, that's up to you, but we'd really appreciate it if you'd leave this topic alone now. Folks are getting tense and we seem to be getting trolled from cross-posts. It's time to let it go. 

 

I didn't think it was a rant (didn't unleash the fury of the Caps Lock yet) at the time, but you're probably right. Anyway, I'm not asking for a free pass. Swatting keeps me in line. That's why I said I was ready to apologize, I was at the time waiting for the green light. So I apologize for mentioning a topic that turned out to be inappropriate and happened to hit a sensitive spot in some people. It was not my intention to offend anyone. Apologies again.

 

People arent treating you like shit. Theres no name calling. No threats. No brigading. Just telling you straight up that what you said was offensive and not welcome in this thread.

And then you doubled down. And now youve tripled down. You may not be good with social cues, but thats not a shield and its not a free pass to bury your head in the sand when people are telling you what youre saying is inappropriate.

Recognise what you said was offensive and apologize, and then we all move on. Or just leave. I honestly dont care which.

 

I'm not talking about anyone here. (Probably should have clarified that.)

[kaelvan]

I have no clue what to think anymore. Should I be apologizing or not?

[ColoQ]

As Lord Senator Emporer ColoQ Grumps, Mayor of Grumpytown, I declare amnesty and move-forwardation.

In the spirit of such things, I give you a symbol of our new hope.. a pair of Happy Holidays Corgis on a treadmill...

[Vella]

Happy Holiday ParCorgis in training?

 

And to all, whether December contains a celebration for you or not, hope you had a happy and joyful one.  And, y'know, January and February and March etc. but they're not here yet, so don't fit the tense of my sentence.

[Artinum]

I have no clue what to think anymore. Should I be apologizing or not?

 

I'm British. For us (and Canadians, too) apologising for everything is normal. Even if we have nothing to do with it.

[kaelvan]

I'm British. For us (and Canadians, too) apologising for everything is normal. Even if we have nothing to do with it.

I blaming my ancestors on this (those Canadians and Brits) *shake fist*

[Twilight]

maybe they mean a straight person who got a kidney transplant from a gay person?

 

Re: "part gay" I use that sometimes. I'm at least half gay, depending on the day!

 

I'm British. For us (and Canadians, too) apologising for everything is normal. Even if we have nothing to do with it.

 

I realised last year that Canadian's aren't polite. We're just really passive-aggressive, and most Americans can't tell the difference when we preface everything with "sorry". :-p

 

I hope everyone had a great last challenge and is enjoying the down-time before 2015!

 

[cassie0825]

Whelp...I'm new.  I date girls and guys, short term and long term.  I hate the label bisexual, probably due to all the drama and arguments it spawns but that's a pretty decent label for me.  Mostly just here to subscribe.

[kaelvan]

Whelp...I'm new. I date girls and guys, short term and long term. I hate the label bisexual, probably due to all the drama and arguments it spawns but that's a pretty decent label for me. Mostly just here to subscribe.

Why hello. Nice to see you here. Don't worry we won't have WW3 again in the forums. We're actually pretty nice people (I think)

[Hit]

Welcome to the group Cassie. Hope you find what youre looking for.

[Bekah]

Whelp...I'm new.  I date girls and guys, short term and long term.  I hate the label bisexual, probably due to all the drama and arguments it spawns but that's a pretty decent label for me.  Mostly just here to subscribe.

Welcome You can label yourself whatever you want, or use no labels at all...I personally go back and forth bc I cant pick one that fits all the time! LOL! 

[kaelvan]

I forget how many times I've changed my label. I think mine is finally "leveling out".

 

Just claim you're a unicorn because unicorns are awesome.

[cassie0825]

I like the unicorn thing. I'm pretty sure once I was at a bar and told someone that "I'm a grownup. I like who I like.  HEARTS NOT PARTS!!!" and then I spun around in circles (wearing a skirt) until I almost threw up.  Shining moment  

[Hit]

Sounds like you may be pansexual but a unicorn works just as well! Or you can just be yourself. Options abound.

[Madam_Patella]

I like the unicorn thing. I'm pretty sure once I was at a bar and told someone that "I'm a grownup. I like who I like.  HEARTS NOT PARTS!!!" and then I spun around in circles (wearing a skirt) until I almost threw up.  Shining moment

 

This just made my day. Welcome to the Rebellion!

 

 

Sooo.... Yeah, HI!

 

 

Mission: Awkward Welcome, Complete!