Levelling up my dress sense

[Rostov]

I've lost nearly all of the weight I want to lose, and as a result none of my old clothes fit properly, and some of the replacement stuff I bought once the weight started coming off also don't fit properly.

 

So I've got a bit of a window of opportunity to get some new clothes and generally dress better than before.  Previously I was able to get most of my clothes in the sales because XL and XXL sizes were often left over, and i wasn't particularly fussed what I wore as long it was functional, passed more or less without notice or comment, and more or less fitted, which in practice meant 'not a hint of being too small'.  I've started my shopping by gradually changing from t-shirts to polo-shirts, and spending a bit more on jeans/chinos than previously.  I've got a new blazer jacket and I've spent double what I'd ever previously spent on a spring/autumn coat.

 

I don't want to become hugely fashion conscious or obsessive or to start dressing like a peacock, but the problem is that I just don't trust my own judgement.  I'm pretty sure about what I don't like, but I don't really have a sense of what I do, what works, what goes with what, and what doesn't.  Things were so bad that I didn't trust myself to buy ties without a second opinion, and when I get round to going suit shopping I'll need a second impartial opinion before buying anything.

 

I don't particularly want advice on individual fashion choices - you don't know what I look like (my avatar isn't a picture of me, sorry), you probably don't live in the same country/climate/culture, and we may not share the same tastes.  But what I'm asking is about ways of levelling up the fashion sense.  At the moment I'm just paying more attention to how other people dress, what and who I think looks good, and by inference what might work for me.  Any other thoughts as to how to find this stuff out?

[Jittersthe.Clown]

I don't particularly want advice on individual fashion choices - you don't know what I look like (my avatar isn't a picture of me, sorry)

 

So you're telling me you're not a cat!?  I am outraged...   Well, not really...

Best advice I can give is to wear what makes you feel confident.  Matching colors and prints and the like are all well and good, but I have seen people pull off some crazy combos; such as stripes and polka dots.  No joke, guy pulled it off well.  If you feel good in what you are wearing, what you are wearing doesn't really matter.  This advice comes to you from 5 years working for Nordstrom.  

[ravnos]

Just some suggestions: You don't have to follow their advice to the T and feel like you're dressing like a peacock, but they offer a lot of great advice on A: getting clothes that go together and B: Sizing.

 

http://dappered.com/

http://www.artofmanliness.com/

 

Art of Manliness is actually how I found NF! (in a roundabout way)

[GingaNinja]

Yeah, wearing what makes you feel good is always best. Do you not have a friend you can take shopping? Is there a shop where you can solicit help from advisors? Tell them your situation.

It can be really hard, I know when I've lost weight in the past I know I still feel like a big person and don't know what I can wear.

[Frost of the Gloaming]

Don't ask me I've been dressing the same way since highschool

 

 

and congrats on the great job

[Anivair]

Also this:  one of my favorite fashion sites that really has a nerdfitneess feel to it: 

 

http://effortlessgent.com/

[Waldo]

I went through this (and am still going through it).  Best thing you can do is pay attention to what others wear, especially with a body type like yours, and try on lots of stuff.

 

One issue that you may run into, if male, is that 95%+ of clothes are made for:

- Fat people

- Skinny people

It can be extremely hard to find stuff that fits well for an athletic build; either its too loose in the waist or too tight in the chest/thighs (though Bannana Republic is made for that demographic, for people built like I am, BR clothes fit amazing).

[CombatBoot]

This might help you on your way:

 

http://www.reddit.com/r/malefashionadvice/comments/17mn5x/developing_personal_style_a_collection_of/

[Gobnait]

Try looking at mail-order catalogs and save any pictures that strike your interest.

 

Also, learn how to take clothing in.  Shoulders are hard, adjusting the side seams is easy. 

[Ceasefire]

A lot of department stores offer personal shopping visits. If that's something you can afford (most stores give the advice for free, but there is apparently an overwhelming obligation to buy) then it might be worth a look. Otherwise, don't be afraid to just go try a few things on whenever you're in a store.

 

In terms of personal shopper too, I know a local thrift store chain where I live has free personal shopping visits. This was a life-saver for me as I lost weight. Not knowing how to dress my 'new body', not having much cash to spend and not wanting to spend too much money when I knew I'd be losing more weight and those clothes would only last me a few months? Definitely a win.

[Rostov]

Thanks everyone - very grateful for comments, links, suggestions etc.  I've had a quick look at a few of the links, and there's some good advice there but also some of the kind of thing that I'm trying to avoid... stuff about finding a personal style being a lifelong project and putting what seems to me like far too much thought into it. 

 

I did think about personal shoppers/advisors and that kind of thing, but I decided against it for two reasons.  Firstly, it's likely that their first priority is selling as much stuff as possible, and even if it isn't (and it genuinely might not be - maybe they take a longer term approach, I dunno) I'm going to suspect that it is and thus not know what advice to take.  Secondly, I'm by nature quite introverted (I suspect I'm in good company here), and clothes shopping for me is quite a private and personal thing - I probably associate it with past embarrassments of finding that I need a size larger than I thought, being around lots of mirrors, having to make decisions about my appearance and so on. I've never liked clothes shopping in the past (still don't, though it's more tolerable now), and the idea of extending it beyond the minimum or having an audience really doesn't appeal.  But I think when I get my new suit this is probably a good idea, as there seem be a lot of secret rules that some fashion committee have decided with the aim of catching out people who aren't in on the secrets.

 

My ex and I rarely went shopping together to avoid driving each other mad.  Occasionally we'd go into town together, but would generally split up and meet up later. I think she was similar in terms of needing her own space to shop and/or rightly placed virtually no faith in my ability to be of any assistance at all.

 

I think I'd like to move towards wearing stuff that makes me feel good, but at the moment I've got very little confidence on my own judgement.  But that's improving. I think my new blazer/jacket thing was a good idea, is versatile, and makes me look like a proper grown-up.  I think I probably scrub up well, and that dressing smart probably suits me - though for complex reasons that I won't go into here going too smart at work would be a mistake.  But I'm thinking that I could - in general - aim for smarter than the average.  It also helps that I'm now at an age where I can get away with it.  I had another good moment the other day when trying on a spring/autumn jacket that I'd just bought over the internet and but had delivered to the store... not only was it a good fit, but it was also the first time I'd seen just how much weight I'd lost in a proper, expensive fitting room mirror arrangement - you can't normally see yourself from the side.

 

But I'll follow the links, do more people watching, have a think, and over time my confidence in my own judgement will grow.  I know what I don't like, I think I know the kinds of things that I do, but don't entirely have the confidence yet to back that judgement.

[True_Tech]

www.tsbmen.com is my favorite menswear blog particially these two posts

 

http://tsbmen.com/5320/back-to-campus-with-style-featuring-alex-wilson/1/

http://tsbmen.com/6639/back-to-school-in-style-featuring-alex-wilson-part-ii/

 

I rarely have ocassion to wear a suit outside of job interviews, or the occasionally formal event/dinner. I still like to step it up my casual wear though, these two post pretty much represent how I dress on a daily basis. more number 2 than number 1, but thought i'd include both. 

 

I also love pinterest, and whenever I see an outfit I like or want to emulate, I post it there

http://www.pinterest.com/truetech/you-know-my-steez/

 

I recommend starting with finding someone whose style you really like, emulating them then evolving. 

[Briguy]

I used to be really good at picking out what to wear, blue jeans and a dark t-shirt, how can one fail?  After I got a few nice shirts I noticed that people looked at you differently.

 

The way I got around not knowing what tie to buy is by getting the combo packs, shirt and tie,  I have one that came with a clip and cuff-links as well.  that way you are getting the ones that fit, and not spending a fortune, I can spend the same amount on 2 combos that I can get 1 tie for in some stores.

[True_Tech]

i don't do the combos because most of the times those shirts are low quality, or worst the ties are ugly, you can get cheap ties via stores like marshalls,tj maxx, ross. often you will find ties by companies like perry ellis, ben sherman, and penguin for low prices. i went to marshalls and found ben sherman ties for something like 7 bucks a pop, i bought like 8, also whenever i'm trying to find a specific tie i.e. i don't like solid silk ties, if i go solid color i like a knit tie because i think the shape and texture make a regular one color tie look more interesting. I go to ebay and rarely spend more than 10 bucks shipped. 

 

also thrift stores are your friends, i routinely find shoes that retail at 200+ for low prices at my local goodwill, i keep what i can wear, clean up and sale on ebay what i can't.  

[ravnos]

i don't do the combos because most of the times those shirts are low quality, or worst the ties are ugly, you can get cheap ties via stores like marshalls,tj maxx, ross. often you will find ties by companies like perry ellis, ben sherman, and penguin for low prices. i went to marshalls and found ben sherman ties for something like 7 bucks a pop, i bought like 8, also whenever i'm trying to find a specific tie i.e. i don't like solid silk ties, if i go solid color i like a knit tie because i think the shape and texture make a regular one color tie look more interesting. I go to ebay and rarely spend more than 10 bucks shipped. 

 

also thrift stores are your friends, i routinely find shoes that retail at 200+ for low prices at my local goodwill, i keep what i can wear, clean up and sale on ebay what i can't.  

 

Goodwill definitely. I'm in the process of trying to burn from 23 to 10 percent body fat, so I need to purchase some pants that will fit in the inbetween - planning on heading there this month at some point. No point in over spending for pants that won't fit me in 2 months...

 

JC Penny's is also a great store for high-quality shirts, ties, etc. if you shop their sales.

[True_Tech]

^^^agreed, jcpenny has recently stepped up their menswear due to nick wooster, former fashion director of neiman marcus and berdoof goodman, being employed there for a brief period of time, you'll notice one a lot of variety now, i'm sure you saw it if you have been there recently they're definitely more on trend, also their stuff fits a lot better with some decent quality. I got a pair of selvedge arizona slim jeans for 15 bucks clearance and they fit fantastic. 

[Briguy]

Good advice for me

I would agree on a lot of the ties not looking that good with the combos, I am more of a solids person, and have trouble picking out other ties that aren't solid, so that is part of the reason I was getting the combos.  True, they aren't the best quality, I have t-shirts that have lasted longer than any of my dress shirts.  I will have to keep some of your stuff in mind when I go looking for shirts again, it is difficult for me to find XL Tall though, an I think that might have played a little in the role of getting what combos I could find, that and I don't have a clue about dressing nice.

[ClaraBear]

My biggest advice is to take a day and try on everything that looks remotely appealing. You like the color but think you won't like the cut? Try it on. Like the cut but not the fabric? Try it on. Never seen your body in a certain cut of pants? Try them on. This is how I've found some of my favorite clothes. Almost invariably I think something is awful on the hanger and it looks great. Or I think it'll look amazing and it's awful. Lots of trial and error.

[timelovesahero]

You can do what I often do, find yourself a famous dapper dresser to emulate.  For me it's James Bond.  Mr. Bond is always impeccably dressed and wears a variety of clothing from (obviously) his famous tuxedo to more casual short-sleeve button-downs and polos (and even a Hawaiian shirt).  If Bond is your thing I would suggest checking out this website for ideas.  I would recommend going with searching through the Daniel Craig tag otherwise you might be looking at more dated styles. 

[ravnos]

You can do what I often do, find yourself a famous dapper dresser to emulate.  For me it's James Bond.  Mr. Bond is always impeccably dressed and wears a variety of clothing from (obviously) his famous tuxedo to more casual short-sleeve button-downs and polos (and even a Hawaiian shirt).  If Bond is your thing I would suggest checking out this website for ideas.  I would recommend going with searching through the Daniel Craig tag otherwise you might be looking at more dated styles. 

That site just got bookmarked so hard...

[Minty Keen]

I love leggings. If they're worn 'correctly'.

 

With a long shirt. Or a dress. Or skirts. Or even funky, non-ordinary shorts.

 

But I hate that they're so popular. I want to wear them so bad but I stick to jeans, or dress pants at work, since almost every other girl working in the mall wears leggings.

 

I have a couple pairs from back when I weighed 40lbs more. They'll probably not be so tight but I might still use them as 'long-johns' in the winter time, when it's so cold here that you wish you had three pairs of pants on. Assuming they don't just fall right off me (which seems more likely).

 

But we just got these gorgeous Dr. Martins boots in that I really love the look of.. and they'd look fabulous with leggings. They come with thick, black ribbons for laces. RIBBONS! On practical work/hiking/combat boots!

IT'S GENIUS.

 

Blah!

 

is inspirational for my current sense of fashion. Lindsey meets... Lara Croft?

It makes sense. Shut up.

[True_Tech]

You can do what I often do, find yourself a famous dapper dresser to emulate. For me it's James Bond. Mr. Bond is always impeccably dressed and wears a variety of clothing from (obviously) his famous tuxedo to more casual short-sleeve button-downs and polos (and even a Hawaiian shirt). If Bond is your thing I would suggest checking out this website for ideas. I would recommend going with searching through the Daniel Craig tag otherwise you might be looking at more dated styles.

(all the suits in skyfall are tom fords)