Coping

[Flex Luthor]

Hey all,

 

I have not posted on the boards in a very very long time and the reason for that was a pretty serious level of depression. I have not yet pulled myself out of it but I'm starting to recover. I know I can't be the only one on here to deal with this so I was wondering what some of your coping mechanisms are or have been in the past. Any recommendations are greatly appreciated and it's good to be back. I definitely missed this.

[Basement Cat]

Hey Ryan!

 

So sorry to hear about your depression. I struggle with that too from time to time. As for coping mechanisms, well, do you have access to a punching bag? I find that laying a beating on an innocent suspended bag makes me feel better. Whatever you do, stay away from booze when you are depressed. The results are not pretty.

[Flex Luthor]

Weights were my coping mechanism for years but I'm in need of something greater. I fixed the symptoms by weightlifting but the depression is still there because any time I take a break it comes back without fail. I want something that will heal me not just make me feel better.

[Basement Cat]

Well, in that case Ryan, you will need to find the cause of your depression and deal with it. Do you have a therapist? Someone who could help you with that? Because really, as long as the source is there, you will always relapse. It sucks, I know, but it's the truth.

 

You have a dragon that needs slaying, sir. Go get'im!

[Frost of the Gloaming]

Working out, music, video games and meditation

 

I dealt with it for a long long time and it actually took me to go talk to someone before it really got better because I was really never dealing with the underlying cause of it all; I still get down every know and again but it's no longer sleeping days away at a time.

 

Good luck, we are here for you.

[Flex Luthor]

I've been strongly considering seeking professional help. I don't just want someone that will drug me up either though.

[Frost of the Gloaming]

That was my big fear to; that I didn't want to be a Zombie hiding from my problems pretending that everything is ok. Luckily I didn't have to.

[Flex Luthor]

I know there are therapists out there who wouldn't do that and I'm not generalizing I just don't know how to find a good one.

[MariahSnow]

Hey jpyryan, check out a licensed social worker or clinical social worker, if you're in the US. I am also adamantly against drugs because I grew up in a household that preached "just take this and make it go away", and that's not helpful at all. Anyway, I went onto my insurance provider's website and searched for basically anything except a psychiatrist or psychologist. I ended up getting really lucky and found someone.

 

For me, there is a pinpoint reason for my depression, but it kind of spiders out through my life, through my development as a child, as a woman, as a partner, etc. So it's not an easy fix and it's been difficult, but I definitely recommend it.

 

For me, the best coping mechanism is to (probably unhealthily) shut off that whiney part of my brain and just move. Like I could lay in bed for hours *thinking* about getting up and doing something productive, and sometimes those thoughts get so overwhelming that I just lay there more. Stop that train of thought in it's tracks and just get up. You kind of have to be your own parent for a while and just ignore the whining and complaining and just go. This obviously helps with day-to-day struggles, but it's not a sustainable life pattern. That's where therapy comes in to help you explore why, and what to do about them.

[Flex Luthor]

Yeah I've been there. Laying in bed doing nothing is not the best coping mechanism.

 

I'll definitely check out social workers thanks!

[WeldingMommy]

I know there are therapists out there who wouldn't do that and I'm not generalizing I just don't know how to find a good one.

You can opt to not take the medicine, just take the therapy for venting and trying to figure YOU out. I DESPISE taking meds. I was lucky and found a therapist who says that medication is a last resort.

 

I grew up with the belief that taking medication for depression is weakness and a cop-out. I was taught that depression and anxiety is weakness and laziness. I went on Zoloft and felt wonderful for the first 6months, then things went down hill(suicidal plans included)

 

But then I found a group of people who could really relate to how I was feeling and could relate to that brainwashing.

 

Coping for me includes:

Working out

Listening to Dubstep/techno

Random Dance parties

Playing with my son.

[Jacksson]

I found a few things that helped quite a bit.  Along with lifting I find that walking helped as much as anything.  I know that sounds dopey but something about the easy, steady state exercise seems to release the right hormones.  As long as I mix it in a couple times a week it helps.  Along with that I found that when I was at my worst, some sort of affirmations helped tremendously.  I know, dopey, but it really works for me.  I had little business cards that I would write the words Positive and Confident.  I had one in my car, a couple in my office including taped to my monitor, in my wallet etc.  I knew that anytime I felt it slipping, I would read and repeat those words.  My chest would immediately fill and my head would come up. 

 

Now, none of that worked until I realized I had to decide that I wanted to feel good.  I originally was given meds and didnt like the side affects so I switched therapist and the new guy was a fan of getting me off of them.  I got frustrated a little at first because he didnt say anything magical that made me feel better.  But he listened and basically said it would eventually be my choice to take control.  I got off the meds by walking.  I started feeling better by deciding I was going to feel good and using the cards.  After a year or so, I havent slipped back and dont see the therapist.  I actually didnt see him that long.  Once I got a handle on it I was good. 

 

That said, I realize there are many degrees of depression and I assume mine was not the deepest.  But what I found was crazy was, I finally realized that I found comfort in the depression which is why I had a hard time letting go of it.  Once I figured that out, it was a lot easier.  It is probably best to seek some professional help though.  And dont be afraid to change until you find one you like.

[Zorch]

For me, the best coping mechanism is to (probably unhealthily) shut off that whiney part of my brain and just move. Like I could lay in bed for hours *thinking* about getting up and doing something productive, and sometimes those thoughts get so overwhelming that I just lay there more. Stop that train of thought in it's tracks and just get up. You kind of have to be your own parent for a while and just ignore the whining and complaining and just go. This obviously helps with day-to-day struggles, but it's not a sustainable life pattern. That's where therapy comes in to help you explore why, and what to do about them.

 

This is pretty much what worked for me to get me started on my road out of depression.  Basically building positive momentum by getting up and DOING stuff, meeting people, etc.  With depression, negative emotions can feed off each other, but positive emotions can do the same.  For me, the key was to recognize this, and always pull myself out of bed/get myself to that activity.  I found that as long as I made it a point to take that first step every day, the rest tends to take care of itself.

[MariahSnow]

I found a few things that helped quite a bit.  Along with lifting I find that walking helped as much as anything.  I know that sounds dopey but something about the easy, steady state exercise seems to release the right hormones.  As long as I mix it in a couple times a week it helps.  Along with that I found that when I was at my worst, some sort of affirmations helped tremendously.  I know, dopey, but it really works for me.  I had little business cards that I would write the words Positive and Confident.  I had one in my car, a couple in my office including taped to my monitor, in my wallet etc.  I knew that anytime I felt it slipping, I would read and repeat those words.  My chest would immediately fill and my head would come up. 

 

Now, none of that worked until I realized I had to decide that I wanted to feel good.  I originally was given meds and didnt like the side affects so I switched therapist and the new guy was a fan of getting me off of them.  I got frustrated a little at first because he didnt say anything magical that made me feel better.  But he listened and basically said it would eventually be my choice to take control.  I got off the meds by walking.  I started feeling better by deciding I was going to feel good and using the cards.  After a year or so, I havent slipped back and dont see the therapist.  I actually didnt see him that long.  Once I got a handle on it I was good. 

 

That said, I realize there are many degrees of depression and I assume mine was not the deepest.  But what I found was crazy was, I finally realized that I found comfort in the depression which is why I had a hard time letting go of it.  Once I figured that out, it was a lot easier.  It is probably best to seek some professional help though.  And dont be afraid to change until you find one you like.

 

Depression is comfort food. You know things like ice cream, popcorn, pasta, are going to make you feel bad later but you eat them anyway now because they taste good. It's the same with depression. Lying in bed is so awesome right now, but you know you'll be cranky later because you laid in bed for 4 hours. Whenever I got up and did something, I tried to really distill that feeling of accomplishment. And at the same time, whenever I indulged in my depression, I tried to distill that uncomfortable cranky feeling like I'm a waste of human life. In the end, I wanted to feel more accomplished and less like a waste.

[Erick the Red]

I had a poor patch last year, and found something as simple as taking extra magnesium did a lot to help.  Sometimes it is little things that can help.  Good luck.

[Flex Luthor]

These are some great suggestions guys. I truly appreciate all the support.