[Everstorm]

3 hours ago, Harriet said:

 

 

 

SIGHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Yeah. 

 

I don't think all dopamine dressing is about looking svelte, though.  I have an oversized sweatshirt with the definition of Book Hangover printed on the front that gives me a big dopamine hit when I wear it for 1) warm snuggly feeling (the interior is lovely and soft) and 2) nerdy self expression of both love of books and etymology.  I would imagine you get a taste of dopamine when you wear one of your hand-knitted sweaters, am I right?  Something beautiful and comfortable you made yourself and can be proud of.   It doesn't have to be fancy.

[Everstorm]

Last couple of days have been weird.  I got hid with bizarre cravings last night.  I very specifically wanted a warm brownie sundae and loaded cheese fries and nothing else on earth would make me happy, not even something close like brownie ice cream and nachos.  After hours of deliberating how to make it happen, (including googling the menu of every local restaurant and drive-thru and checking a local bakery) I made myself eat something else.  I didn't eat particularly healthy, but still less than the calorie bomb that it would have been to go to the restaurant for what I wanted.

 

Then this morning, I didn't want to eat at all.  I couldn't even think about eating.  I sipped at a coffee at 8am and couldn't make myself eat until 1pm.  I ate soup and a yogurt and then a normal dinner and skipped dessert.  So weird.

 

My other goals are going pretty well.  I am applying some habit stacking tricks from Atomic Habits to make my shoulder therapy a little more automated and reduce the mental barriers to getting it done.  I had heard of habit stacking before, but the book breaks it down a little better so that I understood it and could apply it.  I always felt like I didn't have any routine habits to attach new routine to, but there are a few I can use for cues, like getting up and heading to the bathroom, having a cup of coffee, clearing the plates after eating, finishing the school day, etc.

 

In a side note, I didn't know that Nerd Fitness got a shout out in Atomic Habits!  It was the section about finding your people to support your habits.

 

Portraiture is coming along.  There are few days that I only do the minimum 10 minutes of drawing.   Most days, once I get started I go for 30 minutes or more.  I might try stacking that after dinner to distract from wanting a dessert.

 

I've been researching how to care for my wavy hair and I already saw a huge difference  in shine and shape just from changing how I handle my hair while washing it, which is huge.  I want to try some new products, too.  Finding a way to fight the frizz would be huge for my self-confidence. 

[Elastigirl]

I found Atomic Habits super helpful!

That's great that you are learning how to care for your hair. Has your hair always been wavy? Mine didn't get that way until my mid thirties, but once I hit menopause it straightened again.

[Everstorm]

8 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

I found Atomic Habits super helpful!

That's great that you are learning how to care for your hair. Has your hair always been wavy? Mine didn't get that way until my mid thirties, but once I hit menopause it straightened again.

 

It was stick-straight until my mid 20’s or so, and has gotten even more wavy/curly since having children.  It's so funny to think that hormones effect our hair so much.  I find climate affects it, too.  It tends to be less wavy in the winter.

[Elastigirl]

4 hours ago, Everstorm said:

 

It was stick-straight until my mid 20’s or so, and has gotten even more wavy/curly since having children.  It's so funny to think that hormones effect our hair so much.  I find climate affects it, too.  It tends to be less wavy in the winter.

That's part of why it's so hard to figure out the best way to care for it.About the time you figure it out , your hair changes.?

[Everstorm]

1 hour ago, Elastigirl said:

That's part of why it's so hard to figure out the best way to care for it.About the time you figure it out , your hair changes.?

 

Sounds about right.

 

I tried the new hair products I bought and...I hate them.  It has a strong sickly sweet smell that I just don't enjoy.  I was so disappointed, but prepared myself to just endure it because I had spent the money and couldn't be wasteful.  I mentioned to my husband that I don't care for the scent, and he just casually said return them.  Like I am a villain who doesn't put up with substandard hair care products that don't make me feel confident.

 

So I did and bought something else to try -- and did a sniff test in the store before I bought.  The store clerk assured me they have a 60-day return policy, so I can return any of the products that don't work for me.  Sophie of Gavaldon would be so proud ?

[Harriet]

On 9/17/2024 at 7:45 PM, Everstorm said:

 

I don't think all dopamine dressing is about looking svelte, though.  I have an oversized sweatshirt with the definition of Book Hangover printed on the front that gives me a big dopamine hit when I wear it for 1) warm snuggly feeling (the interior is lovely and soft) and 2) nerdy self expression of both love of books and etymology.  I would imagine you get a taste of dopamine when you wear one of your hand-knitted sweaters, am I right?  Something beautiful and comfortable you made yourself and can be proud of.   It doesn't have to be fancy.

 

I guess it's just that seeing myself in clothes that make my body look... a sort of way... are profoundly anti-dopaminergic. Just punishing, really. I do have some nice sweaters I feel okay in. Certainly the bright red is a boost. 

 

16 hours ago, Everstorm said:

I've been researching how to care for my wavy hair and I already saw a huge difference  in shine and shape just from changing how I handle my hair while washing it, which is huge.  I want to try some new products, too.  Finding a way to fight the frizz would be huge for my self-confidence. 

 

Oooh. So, after cutting my hip length hair to just above the shoulders, I found out my hair is wavy. Not highly wavy. Just a bit. I have found the best way is to squeeze the water out by hand after washing it, then pat on some gel with "prayer hands" and optionally gently push the waves up to enhance shape (not sure if this actually helps or just seems like it would help) and then leave it the fuck alone for six hours. Minimal touching at all stages. Then it dries in relatively defined waves with no frizz. 

If on the other hand I want grudgingly but not really properly straight hair with weird bendy bits and lots of frizz, then I dry it with a towel, fuss with it with a brush or my hands, and air dry with no products.

 

10 minutes ago, Everstorm said:

I mentioned to my husband that I don't care for the scent, and he just casually said return them.  Like I am a villain who doesn't put up with substandard hair care products that don't make me feel confident.

 

Nice! I've recently switched to much cheaper hair products after spending a year or so trying out expensive ones. I can say the best thing about expensive products is the cuter packaging. Now I don't mind if something doesn't smell great because it is cheap to replace. 

[Artemis Prime]

40 minutes ago, Everstorm said:

Like I am a villain who doesn't put up with substandard hair care products that don't make me feel confident.

Most excellent.

[TimovieMan]

18 minutes ago, Harriet said:

I have found the best way is to squeeze the water out by hand after washing it, then pat on some gel with "prayer hands" and optionally gently push the waves up to enhance shape (not sure if this actually helps or just seems like it would help) and then leave it the fuck alone for six hours. Minimal touching at all stages. Then it dries in relatively defined waves with no frizz. 

I am totally stealing this for TimovieDaughter. Hope it helps, because her hair tangles like an 80s cassette tape stuck in a player... ?

[Harriet]

1 minute ago, TimovieMan said:

I am totally stealing this for TimovieDaughter. Hope it helps, because her hair tangles like an 80s cassette tape stuck in a player... ?

 

Is she curly, then? I don't know if this will work for anything but wavy. But yeah, you don't have to brush every day! I now brush only on the third or fourth day, when it starts to look straggly. Then it goes into fluffier waves but still without frizz. And I brush it before washing. But not after. 

[TimovieMan]

8 minutes ago, Harriet said:

Is she curly, then? I don't know if this will work for anything but wavy. But yeah, you don't have to brush every day! I now brush only on the third or fourth day, when it starts to look straggly. Then it goes into fluffier waves but still without frizz. And I brush it before washing. But not after. 

Not curly but very wavy. We're still looking for the magic formula that'll make it tangle less...
Although it probably wouldn't  be so bad if she'd brush it more often herself... ?

[Harriet]

9 minutes ago, TimovieMan said:

Not curly but very wavy. We're still looking for the magic formula that'll make it tangle less...
Although it probably wouldn't  be so bad if she'd brush it more often herself... ?

 

Hmm. My hair is only slightly wavy, and doesn't tangle easily. My routine is designed to reduce frizz and enhance waves, not prevent tangles. I can only say that the right conditioner helps, having shorter hair helps, and having a brush that's comfortable to use is nice. I hate combs, no matter what anyone else says. Also, protective styles like braids will prevent tangling compared to, say, ponytails. 

[Snarkyfishguts]

7 minutes ago, TimovieMan said:

I am totally stealing this for TimovieDaughter. Hope it helps, because her hair tangles like an 80s cassette tape stuck in a player... ?

 

• Curly hair doesnt need brushing when it’s dry. It will make it poof out. Same with wavier hair. I have thick wavy hair that almost curls after I shower.. then slowly falls out the next day into disney princess body waves. 
• This brush detangler is similar to what I use when my hair is wet. I use it after leave in conditioner. 
• this is the shampoo I use
• This is one kind of leave in conditioner I use for curlier days it smells like cinnamon. 
• this leave in conditioner is one for when I want my hair to be smoother or dry hair days. I also travel with this one. It smells like apples.
• this is for days when my ends feel crispy because I have really hard water. 
• here is a microfiber towel for drying. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07MT7SBBV/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 i do this after detangling. 
• i haven't found a gel or serum i like yet. 
   

I also don't touch my hair while it dries and sleep on a silk/satin pillowcase. Which does help with frizzies! I do brush it the next day when I am ready for princess hair and usually have to put a little more leave in conditioner. Not too much though or else it’s the ponytail!! Lol

[Snarkyfishguts]

@Shello may be a good person to ask too. She has beautiful curls!

[Everstorm]

1 hour ago, Harriet said:

Just a bit. I have found the best way is to squeeze the water out by hand after washing it, then pat on some gel with "prayer hands" and optionally gently push the waves up to enhance shape (not sure if this actually helps or just seems like it would help) and then leave it the fuck alone for six hours. Minimal touching at all stages. Then it dries in relatively defined waves with no frizz. 

 

This is pretty close to what I am doing now, except I definitely scrunch a lot for curl definition, and then "plop" my hair into a jersey cloth head wrap for 15 minutes after applying the gel.  Similar to below:

 

 

It soaks up some of the dripping water without creating frizz like a towel does and helps support the curl sturcture while the gel sets.

 

1 hour ago, Harriet said:

If on the other hand I want grudgingly but not really properly straight hair with weird bendy bits and lots of frizz, then I dry it with a towel, fuss with it with a brush or my hands, and air dry with no products.

 

 

My hair is not even pretend straight if I air dry it.  To get almost-but-not-really straight, I have to blow dry it.  And possibly use a flat iron.

 

1 hour ago, Harriet said:

Nice! I've recently switched to much cheaper hair products after spending a year or so trying out expensive ones. I can say the best thing about expensive products is the cuter packaging. Now I don't mind if something doesn't smell great because it is cheap to replace. 

 

These weren't especially expensive individually, it just added up because I bought shampoo, conditioner, leave-in conditioner, and gel all at once.  The new brand I decided to try is close to double the price, but fortunately they offer trial sizes so I can check it out before investing that kind of money.

 

52 minutes ago, Artemis Prime said:

Most excellent.

 

57 minutes ago, TimovieMan said:

I am totally stealing this for TimovieDaughter. Hope it helps, because her hair tangles like an 80s cassette tape stuck in a player... ?

 

31 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

Curly hair doesnt need brushing when it’s dry. It will make it poof out. Same with wavier hair.

 

This is what I keep reading as well, although it is a hard habit to break.  I have seen repeated recommendations for this detangling brush to use in wet, well conditioned hair.  

 

In addition, using protective styles to sleep in such as loose braids, silk or satin headwraps, or the pineapple with a silk or satin scrunchy can help prevent tangles overnight.

 

 

39 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

 

• Curly hair doesnt need brushing when it’s dry. It will make it poof out. Same with wavier hair. I have thick wavy hair that almost curls after I shower.. then slowly falls out the next day into disney princess body waves. 
• This brush detangler is similar to what I use when my hair is wet. I use it after leave in conditioner. 
• this is the shampoo I use
• This is one kind of leave in conditioner I use for curlier days it smells like cinnamon. 
• this leave in conditioner is one for when I want my hair to be smoother or dry hair days. I also travel with this one. It smells like apples.
• this is for days when my ends feel crispy because I have really hard water. 
• here is a microfiber towel for drying. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07MT7SBBV/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 i do this after detangling. 
• i haven't found a gel or serum i like yet. 
   

I also don't touch my hair while it dries and sleep on a silk/satin pillowcase. Which does help with frizzies! I do brush it the next day when I am ready for princess hair and usually have to put a little more leave in conditioner. Not too much though or else it’s the ponytail!! Lol

 

Excellent advice.  I have a silk pillowcase and some other silk hair accessories on my wishlist.  Silk is supposed to be really good for your skin as well as your hair, and may prevent fine wrinkles!

[MaeradCase]

6 hours ago, Everstorm said:

 

Sounds about right.

 

I tried the new hair products I bought and...I hate them.  It has a strong sickly sweet smell that I just don't enjoy.  I was so disappointed, but prepared myself to just endure it because I had spent the money and couldn't be wasteful.  I mentioned to my husband that I don't care for the scent, and he just casually said return them.  Like I am a villain who doesn't put up with substandard hair care products that don't make me feel confident.

 

So I did and bought something else to try -- and did a sniff test in the store before I bought.  The store clerk assured me they have a 60-day return policy, so I can return any of the products that don't work for me.  Sophie of Gavaldon would be so proud ?

Huzzah for Mr. Storm!!!

 

5 hours ago, Everstorm said:

In addition, using protective styles to sleep in such as loose braids, silk or satin headwraps, or the pineapple with a silk or satin scrunchy can help prevent tangles overnight.

 

I don't have curly hair, though I get the occasional curl which is kinda cute.

But this looks like my bedtime regime. It does keep my hair less tangled since I move so much at night, and it's also to dissuade Zemi from eating the 'forbidden spaghetti.' #cats

[Everstorm]

6 minutes ago, MaeradCase said:

Huzzah for Mr. Storm!!!

 

I don't have curly hair, though I get the occasional curl which is kinda cute.

But this looks like my bedtime regime. It does keep my hair less tangled since I move so much at night, and it's also to dissuade Zemi from eating the 'forbidden spaghetti.' #cats

 

Ugh my cat used to do that too 

[Sea-to-sky]

16 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

That's part of why it's so hard to figure out the best way to care for it.About the time you figure it out , your hair changes

So true ?

[Sea-to-sky]

14 hours ago, TimovieMan said:

ot curly but very wavy. We're still looking for the magic formula that'll make it tangle less...
Although it probably wouldn't  be so bad if she'd brush it more often herself

Actually, what i found helped was ditching the brush and either switching to a wide toothed comb or finger combing when it was wet whilst conditioning it (i avoid combing when dry). Solved the issues with tangles and frizz so fast for me. 

[Sea-to-sky]

15 hours ago, Everstorm said:

It has a strong sickly sweet smell that I just don't enjoy. 

Uh, super smelly product is the worst. The brand ive found that works for me i can only buy their unscented line for this exact reason. 

[Everstorm]

4 hours ago, Sea-to-sky said:

So true ?

 

Hair has a mind of its own.

 

4 hours ago, Sea-to-sky said:

Actually, what i found helped was ditching the brush and either switching to a wide toothed comb or finger combing when it was wet whilst conditioning it (i avoid combing when dry). Solved the issues with tangles and frizz so fast for me. 

 

I have heard the no combing/brushing, touching while dry thing so many times now, and my brain cannot compute.  It's sure I'll end up looking like Bellatrix Lestrange

 

4 hours ago, Sea-to-sky said:

Uh, super smelly product is the worst. The brand ive found that works for me i can only buy their unscented line for this exact reason. 

 

It would be tolerable if I only smelled it while washing, but the scent is so strong it follows me for days.  My hair doesn't need washing again yet, but I want to just to get rid of the smell.  The new one is very herbal, rosemary and basil notes.  I am very excited to try.

[Sea-to-sky]

6 hours ago, Everstorm said:

I have heard the no combing/brushing, touching while dry thing so many times now, and my brain cannot compute.  It's sure I'll end up looking like Bellatrix Lestrange

I have to fiddle with it a bit as my hair is very light and fly away and i live in a very windy area of the uk. But thw finger combing only things is very worth trying. Also suspected i would end up looking like a belatrix clone (especially as my fair is too fine to use gel with) but it was actually ok. 

[Sea-to-sky]

6 hours ago, Everstorm said:

The new one is very herbal, rosemary and basil notes.  I am very excited to try.

Ooh, sounds good. 
 

i have the added joy of sensitive skin to add to the mix. So minimal crud in the bottle is kind of a must sadly. 
makes trying new stuff a complete nightmare/very stressful

[Mad Hatter]

Funnily enough my hair feels a lot more under control since I started gently using a detangling brush daily before going to bed and reset my curls in the morning with a very light curl cream. ? But that works better when my hair's somewhat in check. In some climates I could only detangle it in the shower with like half a bottle of conditioner. Otherwise I'd break off and pull out half my hair. Sometimes I'd literally get dreads that I had to cut off, it was so bad. ? 

 

18 hours ago, Everstorm said:

I have heard the no combing/brushing, touching while dry thing so many times now, and my brain cannot compute.  It's sure I'll end up looking like Bellatrix Lestrange

Funnily enough, that's what my hair would look like after brushing dry with the wrong brush. ?

[Harriet]

20 hours ago, Everstorm said:

I have heard the no combing/brushing, touching while dry thing so many times now, and my brain cannot compute.  It's sure I'll end up looking like Bellatrix Lestrange

 

 

Drying without combing and touching allows my hair to form wavy clumps. If I touch it or brush it or towel it, the waves fall out. My curl pattern is very weak--just enough to cause a frizzy, ugly "not quite straight hair" look if disrupt the pattern by touching it while wet. But if your curl pattern is much stronger, it may not require such delicate non-handling. Brushing when dry separates my waves so they are soft, loose and flowing rather than separate and defined. 

Bellatrix's hair in this photo is curly but separated, not clumpy. So I think she (or rather, the wig) has a strong curl and it has been allowed to dry normally, *then* brushed to separate the strands. The strands have then been piled up and clipped to produce a voluminous deliberate mess.