I Cry Often When I'm Alone

[Marie]

If I am angry, sad, stressed, negative feelings, expressing negative feelings, I cry. Oftentimes I cry and have no idea why. I cannot do it when my mom is home. If I cry when she's here, I'll attempt to express my feelings and just shut down and continue crying, or if I manage to get a word out expressing why I am crying she usually says "That's not something worth crying over .." And then I drag the pieces of myself together and go into the kitchen searching for something sinful to eat to temporarily relieve the feeling that my mom could care less about how I feel. The only time my crying over something is "valid" is if I'm on my menstrual cycle or if it's something related to loss of a family member.

How does one overcome that? I don't want to have to cry over everything. Especially as I write this post.

Going to get a tissue now,

Marie

[LRB]

I'm a cry-er too. Less now (age 41) than before, but still cry pretty easily.

The biggest thing for me was just to own it. To stop fighting it. To admit that I cry, heavily and often. And to realize that I should not judge my level of unhappiness by whether or not I am crying. Me, crying, is no less unhappy about something than someone else who might not be crying. I just cry easily.

I used to get all wrapped up in "I'm so miserable, why doesn't anyone understand, why are they still happy when I'm this miserable?" And then I realized that maybe the fact that I'm crying means that I am feeling what other people call "moderate unhappiness" and not abject misery. But that I just cry lower on the unhappiness-spectrum than most people.

Somehow, for me, accepting it as just a part of who I am made it less a part of who I am -- weird, huh?

[Guest Snake McClain]

I'm sort of this way. Depends on the issue. Sometimes its while reading the ugly duckling. Other times its just because. Ill go to my room and dot on the end of my bed and I just start to cry. I don't know why. Sorry I have no advice but you aren't alone. I can say the best thing isthat when you feel you need to go and let it out.

I'm mot depressed or sad. Sometimes not even frustrated. Like a momentary rush of emotion and ill cry for like thirty seconds then I'm good for a week. No clue why.

[Marie]

I'm a cry-er too. Less now (age 41) than before, but still cry pretty easily.

The biggest thing for me was just to own it. To stop fighting it. To admit that I cry, heavily and often. And to realize that I should not judge my level of unhappiness by whether or not I am crying. Me, crying, is no less unhappy about something than someone else who might not be crying. I just cry easily.

I used to get all wrapped up in "I'm so miserable, why doesn't anyone understand, why are they still happy when I'm this miserable?" And then I realized that maybe the fact that I'm crying means that I am feeling what other people call "moderate unhappiness" and not abject misery. But that I just cry lower on the unhappiness-spectrum than most people.

Somehow, for me, accepting it as just a part of who I am made it less a part of who I am -- weird, huh?

The thing that bothers me the most when I cry, it can be distracting, and there are things that need to be done.

For example, at my last job, it was the first day I came in, and I had to train on the cash register. I had never had a job before let alone dealt with so many people constantly asking me questions before. While I was training on the register I mistakenly hit a few wrong buttons and didn't know how to get back into the training program. It struck my nerves. My leader got me back to the right spot on the register, and as soon as she left, I imploded crying. Right in the middle of me training and also trying to help people that asked me questions. I covered my face with the training book trying to pull myself together because I can't just cry over every little thing that comes at me especially in a retail job. It's all about being fast and friendly with that.

[milythael]

Marie,

I am a 40 year old male. I cry. I cry a lot. Until about 6 months ago, I used to cry randomly, multiple times a day. For some people, tears are simply an indication of strong emotion. No matter what anyone tells you, there is nothing wrong with tears. Tears don't even necessarily indicate sadness. I am as likely to cry from extreme happiness.

Googling "why we feel better after tears" led me to the Health Benefits of Crying.

Now, having tried to de-stigmatize crying a bit, it sounds like you have another concern. You could also be depressed. If you are, please know that you are not alone. Many of us here on the forums battle the demons of depression on a regular basis.

If you ever need someone to talk to, while crying or not, most of us on the IRC channel would be happy to talk to you. Or send me a PM. You can read a little about my battle with depression in my intro post, or in my PvP from the last six week challenge.

[Marie]

Marie,

I am a 40 year old male. I cry. I cry a lot. Until about 6 months ago, I used to cry randomly, multiple times a day. For some people, tears are simply an indication of strong emotion. No matter what anyone tells you, there is nothing wrong with tears. Tears don't even necessarily indicate sadness. I am as likely to cry from extreme happiness.

Googling "why we feel better after tears" led me to the Health Benefits of Crying.

Now, having tried to de-stigmatize crying a bit, it sounds like you have another concern. You could also be depressed. If you are, please know that you are not alone. Many of us here on the forums battle the demons of depression on a regular basis.

If you ever need someone to talk to, while crying or not, most of us on the IRC channel would be happy to talk to you. Or send me a PM. You can read a little about my battle with depression in my intro post, or in my PvP from the last six week challenge.

A lot of the time I don't feel better after i cry.

[milythael]

A lot of the time I don't feel better after i cry.

Do you not feel better after crying because you feel bad for crying?

[Marie]

Do you not feel better after crying because you feel bad for crying?

Half of the time I think so, maybe even more than I think. Sometimes I don't understand myself and why i feel certain feelings.

[Sin]

I had gotten that way, depressed suicidal etc you named it. The Doctor put me on Celexa and it as helped me tremendously. I don't feel like falling off a cliff anymore. I just went to my regular Doc, and he scolded me left and right because I came off of it one month. Will never go off of it again.

[Raincloak]

You sound like you are... what, 16 or 17 maybe? It's pretty normal for people that age to have strange, disturbing moods. We've all been there. Blame your body and its hormones.

Adjusting your diet and getting plenty of rest may help, as you're more likely to break down when you are hungry or tired. Also, if you are on any medication or drugs, that can cause mood swings. It's also possible there is some medical cause, so if basic remedies do not help, talk to a doctor. You might need counseling, which is okay.too.

I know this may sound tough, but if your mom is not giving you the emotional support you need, you must find it elsewhere, and become more.independent. if mom was going to be what you wanted, she would be doing it already. You can't get her to change, you can only change yourself.

When you get overwhelmed, try to breathe. Remind yourself.that everything will be okay.even though it doesn't feel like it. Most problems.look much smaller.the next morning. With practice you will be able to put things into perspective more easily. Remember when you were little, every dropped cookie and early bedtime seemed like the end of the world? Now you know better. Your current isue with the register will look just like that before long. First week at a new job is always challenging, but you'll be a pro before you know it. Don't let _the customers scare you either. They are just there to buy things, big deal. Nobody's going to die if they have to wait or even if you lose a sale. So relax.

Some people do just cry more than others, but constant crying is not normal and should be treated. This is a legitimate problem which can be fixed, so don't panic or give up. Just start looking for solutions. Keep going till your life gets bearable again. It will happen, I promise.

[namelesswonder]

I would suggest you check out the book The Mood Cure by Julia Ross. What you're describing sounds a lot like one of the emotional types she describes in the book. Eating good wholesome foods can help a lot, if you aren't already, but sometimes you need extra help. The book describes how you can use amino acids (they make up proteins) to help with things like anxiety and depression.

I kind of write about my feelings of depression and using 5-HTP on my blog today (link is in signature) if you're interested. Not really coming from the same place emotionally (though I HAVE been there), but maybe it will help.

[Marie]

Thanks for the other responses you guys given me so far.

Sin: I'm a little iffy about taking pills ... I heard that they were rather pricey, and I am in the process of looking for a job now since I was let go.

Raincloak: I'm actually 19 now, but same thing I guess. I've never had counseling or any therapy of any sort before, I feel wary about it. And independence is scary for me. I don't have my life planned out. I'm not good at planning things. Especially for things like this website. I search various forums in this community for ideas, and I try to put things together in my head, and it just doesn't click. Like "creating a character" that still boggles my mind after reading through it.

namelesswonder: I'll check out that book, it's been a very long time since I read a book, maybe reading is something I should get back into, anyway. I'll check out your blog thingy too. I've never really wrote down my feelings before. I try to contemplate how I'm feeling and why, but maybe I should put it on paper, or type it out ..

I have never taken any sort of medication for mental anything. As a kid, I inherited my Dad's A.D.D. and my mom refused to put me on any of the meds for it because she didn't want me to change, and she liked the way I was, and the effects the medication had on my cousin (who had a more severe A.D.H.D) made him look like he was just out of it.

I've never felt suicidal at all before, and I don't want to end my own life, I just want to find myself, and "level-up" my life.

[Victoriaoke]

Crying is normal, crying is healthy, it's just that we live in a society that values being "contained." Crying alone doesn't mean there is a thing wrong with you, especially at 19! There is nothing to be ashamed of, it's perfectly normal.

However, I will say this: if you do feel like your reactions are abnormal, if the crying is accompanied by rapid heartbeat, shortness of breathe, feeling lightheaded... you really should go to a health care professional. Many people equate crying with depression, but it could just as easily be anxiety. I'm only even mentioning it because you described having a stress reaction at your job, that independence scares you, etc.

As far as pills go- there's nothing to be afraid of; if they make you feel weird, you talk to your doctor and they put you on something else, until you find something that doesn't make you feel weird, and actually helps you better manage your life.

You may not even need pills, you may just need someone you can talk to who will listen to you without judgement. If you feel like this is interfering with your ability to live your life to it's fullest, honey you need to talk to someone in person. There's nothing to be scared of, they want to help.

I can't give you a hug through the computer, but if you use your imagination, *hugs*. It'll be okay, I promise.

[Marie]

Anxiety is definitely an issue for me. Some of the littlest of things just set off my nerves

- When I approach people

- When a manager walks by me while I'm working

- During work breaks because I felt inadequate with my work, and thought that I didn't work hard enough to get that break

- Social gatherings

- Talking to a counselor at a college for the first time

- Job interview

- Calling back after putting in applications

- People asking me questions out of nowhere while working

And a lot of other things I just can't think of at the moment.

[Victoriaoke]

Are you in college right now? Most colleges have some form of health care services where you can go and talk about this for free, so you wouldn't have to worry about cost. I did a quick google search and found an online support group/message board for people with social anxiety that you might want to check out. There appear to be a ton of people on there willing to answer questions; they might be able to point you in the right direction.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/

We are always here to listen and help when we can; I really hope you find what you need to feel better. <3

[Marie]

Are you in college right now? Most colleges have some form of health care services where you can go and talk about this for free, so you wouldn't have to worry about cost. I did a quick google search and found an online support group/message board for people with social anxiety that you might want to check out. There appear to be a ton of people on there willing to answer questions; they might be able to point you in the right direction.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/

We are always here to listen and help when we can; I really hope you find what you need to feel better. <3

I'm not a college student ... >_>

I'll check out that site though.

Thanks

[Trad_Climb]

If you agree with your mother's statement of "that is nothing to cry about" then yeah get some help. Sounds like I'd dopamineimbalance, though it must be stated I'm no doctor. If you are crying because of spilt milk then do everything you can to get help, if mom doesn't listen kick, scream, reason, argue, put it on writing, FIND a way to get help.

[Valiance]

Marie, hang in there. I agree with everyone who says try to seek some help if you can... there could be either a chemical unbalance, or some deeper emotional issue. I think a lot of the time with issues like these people don't realize that there is some deep emotional problem (some insecurity, or fear) that is triggering this. But they've gotten so used to the feeling of panic, or fear, or insecurity that they don't realize that's what's causing them other issues like crying or being sleepy all of the time.

But at the very least it can't hurt to seek help and see what comes of it.

[Raincloak]

I got news for you Marie... nobody who's 19 "has their life planned out." Those who do are in for a few surprises. So not knowing what's what is no reason to panic. We're all making things up as we go. Relax in the knowledge that there are no right answers, because that means everything you do is okay. Just go ahead and pretend to be an adult, eventually you will start believing it. Or you'll get so good at it nobody will be able to tell the difference

(Personally I still feel like I need one of those shirts that says "Cleverly Disguised as a Responsible Adult"... and I just turned 27...)

[Trad_Climb]

I got news for you Marie... nobody who's 19 "has their life planned out." Those who do are in for a few surprises.

Take me for an example, decided I wanted to be an architect at the age of 12 and worked up to it all of high school... got 2 years into college, arch classes, construction law, etc etc etc. then boom housing market crashed and things were not looking so great. SURPRISE!

[Marie]

Take me for an example, decided I wanted to be an architect at the age of 12 and worked up to it all of high school... got 2 years into college, arch classes, construction law, etc etc etc. then boom housing market crashed and things were not looking so great. SURPRISE!

What do you do now?

Also, is there an app I can view this on my iPhone?

[milythael]

Also, is there an app I can view this on my iPhone?

There is an app - Tapatalk. You might have to buy it though.