What women love about men.

[Oramac]

hah! Behave??? screw that shit!

 

Wouldn't "screwing that shit" be misbehaving by definition?    

[Thrillho]

[Spark]

Aaaaaand new desktop ACQUIRED.

[The Stranger]

I had a patchy beard before it was cool.  Does that make me a hipster, or not a hipster?

[Bekah]

Oh God Bekah, don't encourage me! It could just get silly(er?)

That's the whole point silly girl

Oh the Places we will go...

  

Wouldn't "screwing that shit" be misbehaving by definition?  

 

Pssssht no! It's just called "fun"

 

Perfect!

[Machete]

Here we see the caveat for liking "shy guys": they have to be self-confident. Without confidence, he's "cute" at most. Maybe it'll encourage some highly-aggressive girl to "coax him out of his shell" and pressure him into conforming to society, maybe taking it as a personal challenge.  The good news is that confidence can be faked. (In strip clubs, where the lighting and music limits the reading of facial expression, body language, and voice tone, I'm usually the coolest guy in the group. Haha)

 

THIS. I feel like dudes who are loud and boisterous as their M.O. are subconsciously aware that that may be their only mechanism by which to attract the ladyfolk. Does way more for me when it's obvious that a man is secure enough in his own skin that he lets his charm and humor speak for itself (rather than his volume).

 

Naw. I'm not old (I don't think...) but that's way hotter to me than Mr. Showoff.

But, are you still attracted to the "what the hell does she see in him" obnoxious guys?

 

I don't think anyone is really attracted to the "loud, obnoxious" guy. I think they get the girl because they actually take the shot, as opposed to the shy guy whose main strategy for his love life consists of hoping, convincing himself that he is a romantic, love will come at the right time, there's someone for everyone, etc. I also think that "loud and obnoxious" is a subjective label, and that personally, being the quiet nerdy guy, I kind of see mostly everyone else as loud and obnoxious (even myself sometimes). A lot of people would fall under this label, considering this community is populated by nerds.

 

But there is definitely such a thing as someone, without a doubt, fitting the definition of "that guy":

 

This American Bro: A Portrait of the Worst Guy Ever

 

A man who you see walking down the street with his HEAD UP, looking around! Shows he is present, first off, and screams confidence!! Hate seeing people walk around staring at their feet

 

My paranoia requires me to constantly check where I step for booby traps.

 

So, quick question.....where the hell were the girls like you & Guzzi in junior high/high school?!?

 

They were right there, probably in your friend zone, or hiding out in the auditorium playing the cello.

[Machete]

oh see I'm totally different, guess its that whole inability to read body language thing, I just walk up to that guy and ask him what he's looking at....lol, dont care about outward confidence, at all. Actually, I kind of prefer the quietly self assured bc he is less likely to be swayed away by a vapid girl with a cute face, bc he isn't chased after as much.

 

We would have been great friends in college. A lot of the girls would ask about that short brooding guy who always looked like he was having a bad day, but I would remain unimpressed by their giggling and their hair-tossing and their bending-and-snapping. (Also, I didn't know what it meant at the time, and I wouldn't even know what to do about it if I did anyway.) Eventually their interest would wane as I never made any attempts to make advances upon anyone. The most I did was constantly watch this art student from a safe distance (so much that I had her class schedule figured out) and run away whenever she came too close to me, until she eventually got banged-out by another student who knew how to close. I think everyone knew about it but her. Yes, I'm a really creepy guy.

 

To him she seemed so beautiful, so seductive, so different from ordinary people, that he could not understand why no one was as disturbed as he by the clicking of her heels on the paving stones, why no one else's heart was wild with the breeze stirred by the sighs of her veils, why everyone did not go mad with the movements of her braid, the flight of her hands, the gold of her laughter. He had not missed a single one of her gestures, not one of the indications of her character, but he did not dare approach her for fear of destroying the spell. - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

[Guzzi]

I think you're right Adorable One. What we (or I, at least) really mean is a guy who's "shy" when it comes to the ladies, but who has his own sense of self, and the confidence to just be himself.

But if that translates to, what would be perceived as a lack of interest on his part if I were to make an approach, then I certainly wouldn't hang around. I wouldn't have the confidence for that. No, I'd be scurrying away embarrassed.

It's very interesting reading what you have to say on the subject, as your insight and understanding always seem to belie the picture you paint of yourself. It makes you, on here at least where there are no subtleties of tone, facial expression, or body language to consider, quite charming and enigmatic.

[SevenofSeven]

 

 

This American Bro: A Portrait of the Worst Guy Ever[/

 

The American Bro is no different to the Aussie Bro, English Bro or Whatever Bro. I just want to know how boys evolved to these types of people.

[insanity]

The American Bro is no different to the Aussie Bro, English Bro or Whatever Bro. I just want to know how boys evolved to these types of people.

Women went for em... it's actually that simple. I'd be willing to bet that if women started walking away from guys like that, they'd change overnight. :-)

[IslandGirl_Becks]

The American Bro is no different to the Aussie Bro, English Bro or Whatever Bro. I just want to know how boys evolved to these types of people.

Bros Worldwide, raising and encouraging the next generation. Often their family life feel apart at some point and the idea of discipline and self control gets lost.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk

[Oramac]

Women went for em... it's actually that simple. I'd be willing to bet that if women started walking away from guys like that, they'd change overnight. :-)

 

This.  Exactly this.  

[Thrillho]

[Silo]

All the bro talk is reminding me of The United States of Bros: A Map and Field Guide.

[Missmouse]

Women went for em... it's actually that simple. I'd be willing to bet that if women started walking away from guys like that, they'd change overnight. :-)

Neither I, nor any friends of mine, would ever consider going for a bro. In fact, I'd wager that 90% of the women I've ever met are repulsed by them.

So, in a way, the bros - and their female counterparts - are keeping themselves out of everyone's way by pairing up with each other. Win/win!

[Oramac]

Neither I, nor any friends of mine, would ever consider going for a bro. In fact, I'd wager that 90% of the women I've ever met are repulsed by them.

So, in a way, the bros - and their female counterparts - are keeping themselves out of everyone's way by pairing up with each other. Win/win!

 

 

True.  It's probably more accurate to say "women went for them because they're portrayed in media".  If all you watch is stupid reality TV (which us awesome nerds don't), you'll end up thinking that's what "real men/women" are and go for them. 

[Machete]

I think you're right Adorable One. What we (or I, at least) really mean is a guy who's "shy" when it comes to the ladies, but who has his own sense of self, and the confidence to just be himself.

But if that translates to, what would be perceived as a lack of interest on his part if I were to make an approach, then I certainly wouldn't hang around. I wouldn't have the confidence for that. No, I'd be scurrying away embarrassed.

It's very interesting reading what you have to say on the subject, as your insight and understanding always seem to belie the picture you paint of yourself. It makes you, on here at least where there are no subtleties of tone, facial expression, or body language to consider, quite charming and enigmatic.

 

Haha. Thanks. I've been training to fake it for years. But I totally see the whole lack of interest side. It hurts for a guy to get rejected, but overall it's a normal part of everyday life. But for a lady, I can only imagine how devastating it might be. She has to do away with social norms and risk being called a "slut" just to reverse gender roles and make the advance. It's like going all-out and doing something embarrassing, only for it to be received negatively.

 

Mostly the normal strategy for a girl is to wait for it, and that's why shy, passive guys never get laid. I never "go for it" because I realized a while ago that cannot read non-verbals, and misreading leads to a lot of rejection (and I'm a rather self-conscious and self-critical individual). I'm even skeptical when someone seems to be showing interest. It's usually the highly-aggressive ones who manage to break through the barrier. I've told Bekah about this girl at the club (Yes, I went to a club. It was awful.) who told me "This place is a waste of time. Let's go back to your place. I'll help you pack." And we went to my room and packed my luggage for a couple of hours listening to music. Then I dropped her off. I don't think a peck on the cheek even counts as a "base". An even worse one was when I was 20 and I was referred by my cousin as a booty call for his friend. I showed up in her condo at 2:30 in the morning, laid next to her on her bed and talked to her for a few hours, then went home. She called my cousin asking what was wrong with me, because apparently random sex is a thing, and sometimes I'm a viable candidate for it. I don't know. I'm never going to learn to read people, and I'm not going start forcing myself on women.

 

 

The American Bro is no different to the Aussie Bro, English Bro or Whatever Bro. I just want to know how boys evolved to these types of people.

 

They're dudes. Dudes are highly-competitive, and the comforts of modern living has allowed them to channel this competitiveness into something. They just happen to choose recreation and broing out. Nerds, they found their respective competitive outlets a long time ago. The successful ones happened to choose lucrative ventures. That's what I think.

 

Women went for em... it's actually that simple. I'd be willing to bet that if women started walking away from guys like that, they'd change overnight. :-)

 

Exactly. I'll refer to the famous Craigslist post What Happened to All the Nice Guys?. The fact that it works keeps the behavior from being bred out of existence. And I'm sure most women would claim to not want anything to do with douche nuggets like them, but for some reason there are still good women who are being lied to and hurt and treated badly by guys like these, giving fodder to the misogynistic bro notion that women don't know what they want. And maybe they don't. But maybe they are also attracted, not to the broness of the bro, but to something else, like his passion (for broing), his confidence, his spontaneity, or his aggressiveness; he just happens to be a bro. And usually their friends tell them what a POS the guy is, but they defend him by saying "He's a really sweet guy once you get to know him." or "I'm fine, he didn't even hit me that hard." It's not their fault, really. Love makes us bad decision-makers, and our brain responds to love in the same way it does to cocaine. And Oreos. Jerks are fun and all, just don't act so surprised when they turn out to be jerks.

 

And it isn't a problem exclusively for women; it's not like guys know what they want either. You have every guy claiming that he wants a good woman from a good family who has a healthy relationship with her dad and can cook, but you see them all over that chick twerking at the club whose boyfriend is her dad's prison cellmate. Attraction is never a choice. I fancy myself wanting a physically-active, educated, intellectual, professional woman. But am I going to say 'no' to the hot coked-up fake-blonde party girl, or the depressed artsy burnout who hates her dad? I didn't. In theory I want a woman I can have a stimulating intellectual conversation with, but it does kind of feel good when she is genuinely impressed by literally everything you say.

 

[Guzzi]

So, in a way, the bros - and their female counterparts - are keeping themselves out of everyone's way by pairing up with each other. Win/win!

Yeah, but here's the scary bit..... They're getting together.... then breeding!

[Thrillho]

Occasionally us terrified, shy and awkward guys will get up the nerve to just "go for it", the way movies, television and even other girls will tell us is ALL THEY REALLY WANT, and it's ALL WE NEED TO DO TO SUCCEED.

 

And, in some cases *cough*not me*cough*totally*cough*nope never*cough* we will get laughed at.  In public.  Then be forced to watch the damsel of our unrequited affections tell all of her friends how HILARIOUS it was. Then endure two more years at that school, with someone I don't even know mentioning it roughly once a month.

 

Fun fact: some guys earn their fear and lack of trust. 

 

Looking back now, with all the experience I have (which consists of exactly one woman, my wife), I can see all the mistakes and misconceptions and stuff that I had, but that is something that a lot of guys WILL NEVER REALIZE until literally DECADES down the line. 

[Missmouse]

 

Exactly. I'll refer to the famous Craigslist post What Happened to All the Nice Guys?. The fact that it works keeps the behavior from being bred out of existence. And I'm sure most women would claim to not want anything to do with douche nuggets like them, but for some reason there are still good women who are being lied to and hurt and treated badly by guys like these, giving fodder to the misogynistic bro notion that women don't know what they want. And maybe they don't. But maybe they are also attracted, not to the broness of the bro, but to something else, like his passion (for broing), his confidence, his spontaneity, or his aggressiveness; he just happens to be a bro. And usually their friends tell them what a POS the guy is, but they defend him by saying "He's a really sweet guy once you get to know him." or "I'm fine, he didn't even hit me that hard." It's not their fault, really. Love makes us bad decision-makers, and our brain responds to love in the same way it does to cocaine. And Oreos. Jerks are fun and all, just don't act so surprised when they turn out to be jerks.

 

 

So, I have issues with "Nice Guy Syndrome", but since part of my current challenge is not being snarky, I think I'm going to hold my tongue. But I will say this: Women are not vending machines that you put niceness into until sex falls out.

However, there is a vast space between the douchbag-bro and the guy with no spine who lusts after his best friend and never makes his feelings known. Luckily, most men fall into this category. :-)

[Missmouse]

Ghosts double posted for me. :-)

[Missmouse]

Ghosts double posted for me. :-)

[Bekah]

We would have been great friends in college. A lot of the girls would ask about that short brooding guy who always looked like he was having a bad day, but I would remain unimpressed by their giggling and their hair-tossing and their bending-and-snapping. (Also, I didn't know what it meant at the time, and I wouldn't even know what to do about it if I did anyway.) Eventually their interest would wane as I never made any attempts to make advances upon anyone. The most I did was constantly watch this art student from a safe distance (so much that I had her class schedule figured out) and run away whenever she came too close to me, until she eventually got banged-out by another student who knew how to close. I think everyone knew about it but her. Yes, I'm a really creepy guy.

 

We would have been indeed. Although back then, I didn't know that I didn't know the things I don't know about other people. I just was blissfully oblivious, and would have been one of those aggressive girls to break you out of your shell...but in a very different way from the typical girl, but I would have still pursued you until like Guzzi said, you showed zero interest in me...but I would have also been rather blunt and asked point blank after a while, so unless you wanted to lie to my face, your interest would have come out sooner or later. I just thought that's how all girls were, because obviously the games confuse me too. and that isn't creepy...unless you are a 15 year old girl who likes the bros.

 

 

I think you're right Adorable One. What we (or I, at least) really mean is a guy who's "shy" when it comes to the ladies, but who has his own sense of self, and the confidence to just be himself.

But if that translates to, what would be perceived as a lack of interest on his part if I were to make an approach, then I certainly wouldn't hang around. I wouldn't have the confidence for that. No, I'd be scurrying away embarrassed.

It's very interesting reading what you have to say on the subject, as your insight and understanding always seem to belie the picture you paint of yourself. It makes you, on here at least where there are no subtleties of tone, facial expression, or body language to consider, quite charming and enigmatic.

 

Yes, that is what "we" mean (meaning me and Guzzi apparently at the least)

and that last bit, well that's the crux of the Aspie problem with NT people....because while Machete is actually rather charming and enigmatic in his way, it is almost assuredly much different in "real life" (I know this because it is for me) because like him, I may seem to appear that way here, but I guarantee, that upon closer inspection...it will appear much less so and I for one, am actually much more weird and freakish, because I "think" (total perception from living life and seeing it with others) that most of you here, exaggerate yourselves in the positive and even the negative to some degree, and the rest of you naturally assume that everyone else is doing the same, while at least I know that I am being unexaggerated, and am just a total weirdo nutjob and that this person in the "real world" is inside my head, and comes out at the most random and mostly exactly wrong moments and pisses everyone off almost daily and makes people angry and sad and frustrated when trying to do exactly the opposite at all times....and that just makes me cranky and not want to talk to anyone, and enough of those "misunderstandings" just makes me a hermit who hides from things that I wont ever understand (people and their body languages) 

 

Women went for em... it's actually that simple. I'd be willing to bet that if women started walking away from guys like that, they'd change overnight. :-)

 

agreed

 

Haha. Thanks. I've been training to fake it for years. But I totally see the whole lack of interest side. It hurts for a guy to get rejected, but overall it's a normal part of everyday life. But for a lady, I can only imagine how devastating it might be. She has to do away with social norms and risk being called a "slut" just to reverse gender roles and make the advance. It's like going all-out and doing something embarrassing, only for it to be received negatively.

 

Mostly the normal strategy for a girl is to wait for it, and that's why shy, passive guys never get laid. I never "go for it" because I realized a while ago that cannot read non-verbals, and misreading leads to a lot of rejection (and I'm a rather self-conscious and self-critical individual). I'm even skeptical when someone seems to be showing interest. It's usually the highly-aggressive ones who manage to break through the barrier. I've told Bekah about this girl at the club (Yes, I went to a club. It was awful.) who told me "This place is a waste of time. Let's go back to your place. I'll help you pack." And we went to my room and packed my luggage for a couple of hours listening to music. Then I dropped her off. I don't think a peck on the cheek even counts as a "base". An even worse one was when I was 20 and I was referred by my cousin as a booty call for his friend. I showed up in her condo at 2:30 in the morning, laid next to her on her bed and talked to her for a few hours, then went home. She called my cousin asking what was wrong with me, because apparently random sex is a thing, and sometimes I'm a viable candidate for it. I don't know. I'm never going to learn to read people, and I'm not going start forcing myself on women.

 

just yeah....that video says it all. I remember when I learned (like 3 months ago) that when a guy says he wants you to come see his house (or some version of that) that he doesnt actually want to show you his paintings in the living room....and well...that made things interesting. 

[Thrillho]

*grumbles at 'Nice Guy Syndrome'.... grrrrr*

[Bekah]

Haha. Thanks. I've been training to fake it for years. But I totally see the whole lack of interest side. It hurts for a guy to get rejected, but overall it's a normal part of everyday life. But for a lady, I can only imagine how devastating it might be. She has to do away with social norms and risk being called a "slut" just to reverse gender roles and make the advance. It's like going all-out and doing something embarrassing, only for it to be received negatively.

 

 

And it isn't a problem exclusively for women; it's not like guys know what they want either. You have every guy claiming that he wants a good woman from a good family who has a healthy relationship with her dad and can cook, but you see them all over that chick twerking at the club whose boyfriend is her dad's prison cellmate. Attraction is never a choice. I fancy myself wanting a physically-active, educated, intellectual, professional woman. But am I going to say 'no' to the hot coked-up fake-blonde party girl, or the depressed artsy burnout who hates her dad? I didn't. In theory I want a woman I can have a stimulating intellectual conversation with, but it does kind of feel good when she is genuinely impressed by literally everything you say.

 

Yeah, but "going for it" and not being able to read the signs, REALLY fucks you in the end (in a LOT of ways) because as a girl, you usually don't get rejected if you show interest, especially not by the jerks or the bros, who you never realize are jerks or bros until after the fact because yeah, that whole inability to read body language that screams asshole to everyone else. So yeah, it does suck...and the rejections that you do get, are totally weird and confusing because they hurt too, regardless of if you understand why you were rejected or not. 

 

Occasionally us terrified, shy and awkward guys will get up the nerve to just "go for it", the way movies, television and even other girls will tell us is ALL THEY REALLY WANT, and it's ALL WE NEED TO DO TO SUCCEED.

 

And, in some cases *cough*not me*cough*totally*cough*nope never*cough* we will get laughed at.  In public.  Then be forced to watch the damsel of our unrequited affections tell all of her friends how HILARIOUS it was. Then endure two more years at that school, with someone I don't even know mentioning it roughly once a month.

 

Fun fact: some guys earn their fear and lack of trust. 

 

Looking back now, with all the experience I have (which consists of exactly one woman, my wife), I can see all the mistakes and misconceptions and stuff that I had, but that is something that a lot of guys WILL NEVER REALIZE until literally DECADES down the line. 

So do some girls. *hugs* I am sorry that happened to anyone, ever.