Ciara's Log

[Ciara]

Well my promise to cook all my meals after breakfast lasted until lunch. Here's what I ate today:

 

Cappuccino

Sweet cheese croissant

Hard boiled egg

Veggie burger

Fries

5 pieces candy

2 coconut macaroons

Oatmeal with egg, banana, and peanut butter

 

I'm not thrilled with this but it happened. Sigh.

 

No exercise today, I was way too busy with appointments. On the plus side, I got a new glasses prescription and a new pair of glasses! I have to wait for a week since they had to order the frames. Excited!

 

In other news, I got accepted to UMass Amherst!!!

[Ciara]

Happy late Halloween everyone! I have been absent for a few days because I'm visiting a friend in Amherst. We really pigged out this weekend...so much candy. I don't remember Friday's food but I'll try to write as much of yesterday as I can.

 

Breakfast:

3 strips bacon

Eggs and broccoli

A mini muffin

Tea

1/4 apple

 

Lunch:

Small bowl spaghetti and meatballs

Half a bagel with butter

 

Dinner:

Mac n cheese

Tomato soup

Tea

 

Snacks:

CANDY

Fried chicken wings

A sip of wine

More candy

Tortilla chips

 

Heh....I was in the bathroom a lot after those wings. Fried food no longer sits well in my stomach.

 

I am going home today and gonna do some shopping. I feel like I need to detox after a weekend of gorging myself on candy. Gonna make green soup and just eat that with oatmeal and lots of veggies and tea for the next few days. I might buy frozen fish too, salmon or tilapia. We will see.

 

Haven't worked out since Friday. I don't remember the workout too well but I'll try to report it.

 

Jumprope for a few minutes

Chest press 12x3 45lbs

Squats 15x3

Lat pull down 10x3 40lbs

Box steps 12x3 2ft box

Knee pushups 10x3

Glute raises 10x3

Kettle bell swings 10x3 10kg

Tricep pull down 12x3 ?lbs

Weighted lunge and bicep curl 6x3 8lbs

Crab walk with resistance band 3x

Deadbug 1 minute 30 seconds

Bird dog 24 total

 

 

I was DRIPPING sweat, and felt really faint like I was going to throw up or pass out. We skipped the burpees, thank goodness. I think since I increased my med dose, and hadn't eaten much that day, I felt especially weak during the workout.

[starsapart]

"Sudden inability to eat fried food."  PREACH IT, SISTER.  I have this problem with not only fried food but most take-out at this point.  On the one hand, it's a useful deterrent, but on the other, I JUST WANT SOME CHICKEN WINGS, WHY CAN'T I HAVE WHAT I WANT?

 

Ugh, I tried eating some pho last night thinking it was soup, surely light enough to be fine... nope.  I really feel you on this.

 

Congrats on a good workout though!

[Ciara]

Yeah takeout makes me sick in general and I haven't even been eating all that clean. I made a meal plan for the week though and did a ton of food prep tonight so my diet is hopefully gonna change.

 

Ok, today's food:

 

Cereal

1 broccoli floret

1 mini muffin

1 apple

 

2 slices of pizza

Salad with olive oil

1 manicotti thing

Ice cream with toppings

 

Some bread

A peanut energy bar

 

Carrot and bean soup

Strawberry yogurt

Some chicken

More bread

 

It feels like a lot but actually I'm pleased with the quality of my food today. It wasn't total crap, hooray!

 

No workout today.

[Katydid]

That looks great, Ciara!  It sounds like you're getting more in touch with how different foods make your body feel, which at least for me has been a big step towards improving my diet.  After a few times of "I ate that, now I feel bad," it eventually turns into "If I eat that, then I will feel bad...so I'm not going to eat it!" which is a lot more convincing to my brain than "I shouldn't eat it because I've arbitrarily decided it's bad for me," you know?

[Ciara]

Okay so I didn't post yesterday. Here's what I ate:

 

Oatmeal

Grapefruit

Peanut butter energy bar (homemade)

Beans and rice

Apple

Stir fry (takeout)

2 caramel coffees

 

And here's today's meals:

 

Oatmeal

Hardboiled egg

Chicken and cottage cheese wrap

Apple

Muscle milk

100g chocolate

Salmon

Carrot and bean soup

Bread

Milk

Bear naked bar

 

I'm doing much better now that I'm on a schedule. Still struggling at night a lot (I ate a lot of bread tonight after dinner) but overall having structured meal times is helping. 

 

Workout today was brief. I am emotionally in a bad state and I asked her to go easy on me, and she obliged.

 

55 lb row (12x3)

25 lb goblet squat (12x3)

10 minutes on elliptical

?lb tricep pulldown (12x3)

10kg kettlebell swings (12x3)

Medicine ball squat and overhead press (12x3)

Curtsy lunge (6x3)

 

I felt bad asking for a light day but I know it was for the best. I just finished a paper. It seems like I'm writing something every week, ugh. I'm off to bed. Today has been tough.

[Ciara]

Wow I haven't posted since Tuesday? Shoot.

 

Ok Wednesday I worked out again.

 

25lb goblet squat (12x3)

15lb overhead press (forgot the reps)

12.5lb weighted lunge and bicep curl (6/5/4)

65lb row (8x3)

some other stuff

stretching! my split is less awful than I remembered it to be. yay!

 

Yeah sorry I don't remember the rest of my workout. It was two days ago and yeah.

 

Wednesday's food was good. I stuck 100% to my meal plan and the only deviation was I substituted soup for chicken wrap after my workout for protein. But those things are both on my meal plan so it's ok.

 

Thursday....sucked. Will and I fought heavily Wednesday night and I was up until 2am on the phone with him. I have an 8am class on Thursday and all things considered I'm proud I showed up at all (30 minutes late, not bad). I felt so lifeless for the rest of the day. My food choices suffered. I bought takeout but I could barely eat any of it...I knew it was a bad choice and it didn't taste good and it made me feel sick. Most of it is still sitting in the fridge. I don't know what to do with it.

 

So it's Friday now. Gonna go to class and then see my trainer. I hope she has a really tough workout for me so I can forget the emotional pain I'm experiencing right now. Guys, feeling bad is so exhausting.

[starsapart]

If it made you feel sick, throw it away and don't give it another thought.

 

Giiiiiiiiiiirl, I feel you, I wanted takeout SO BAD yesterday.  I made myself go to the store, and my mind was like, "Well how about some chips?  Oooh, how about some cupcakes?  You deserve a break!"  It's really hard to ignore that voice!!!!!!!!!

 

Sorry to hear about the fight.  Text me if you need anything.

[Katydid]

Aw man, SO fights really suck I'm sorry you're having a rough time, Ciara. We are all here to support you! Don't feel bad about tossing the takeout if you don't want to eat it.

Exercise is great, but it hope you're finding other ways to take care of yourself and relax a little too!

[Ciara]

I REALLY want to dance. I used to take salsa lessons but I had to stop....I hate that I stopped. I wanna dance! My school has a ballroom dance team and they have beginner lessons every week. I am going to go next week! It's happening!!! They're like 3 hours long so there's my cardio right there. 

[Ciara]

I got new glasses! I am so excited that I changed my picture and now you all know what I look like. -shyshy Well I have to say I think the glasses make me look pretty hot so I guess I'm ok with that.

 

Today my trainer kicked my butt as per my request. Here's what we did:

 

Battle rope 4 minutes

Battle rope shoulder press 6 reps

Battle rope arm circles 6 each way

I BENCHED 50 POUNDS AW YISS. 8/8/20 I'm a beast. She was so impressed I pushed out 20 reps on the last set so we're probably going to increase the weight next time.

Reverse crunches 12x3

Squats 15x3

Reverse lunges 24x3

40lb row 12x3

4 minutes jumprope

12 lb (I think?) medicine ball toss

Step ups 24x2

Swimmer's press 12x2

Bosu ball toe taps 30 seconds

Split practice. I'm going to start stretching out my legs more after each workout. If I workout 6x a week that's 6 days of stretching which will get me into a split in no time if I do it right.

 

FOOD. Ugh I was SO HUNGRY at like 4:30 today. I ATE SO MUCH. It was all good food (except for the takeout that I ended up nearly finishing) but it was just so much. Here's what I ate so far. 

 

Eggy oatmeal

Homemade peanut butter bar

Protein shake

Chicken with cottage cheese and lettuce wrap

Fried rice (I feel so bad about this)

Blueberry yogurt (haven't finished it yet, not sure if I want to)

 

That's all I've had so far. It's dinnertime soon but I ate so much after my workout so I might skip dinner or eat later..If I decide to eat I'm just gonna heat up some of the soup I made last weekend. It's all veggie so it will be light and I'll feel good about myself.

 

Gonna play some DA:O later. I haven't played in a while because I don't really know what to do next. I have time to figure it out so I'm gonna do that. Also I am going to work on the blanket I'm knitting for Dad. His birthday was on the 3rd but I wasn't able to finish it by then. Hopefully next week it will be done.

[starsapart]

The glasses are awesome!

 

If ever you need Dragon Age advice.......... I AM HERE.

[Ciara]

I'm not sure if I should pursue Zevran or Alistair....Alistair already is head over heels for me but I kinda like Zevran more now and I feel bad. But I heard Alistair will leave me in the end anyway and besides Zevran and I are both Dalish rogues so we suit each other but ALISTAIR IS SO DAMN CUTE!!!! Aghhhh. So right now I'm just pursuing them both and in the meantime I'm trying to save the world nbd

[starsapart]

You heard wrong, Alistair won't leave you in the end unless you make some Bad Life Choices.  Only the human noble can marry him and become queen (alas), but any of the other origins, he'll stick with you forever and adore you unless you do one particular really bad thing (I don't want to spoiler here?) or he, you know, dies.  Which is avoidable.

 

Ahahaha they will eventually make you choose, sadly.  You'd think Zev wouldn't care if you slept around, but you'd be wrong.......

 

GO SAVE FERELDEN!

[NightWatcher13]

Just from reading these I feel like I need to play this game

[Ciara]

You heard wrong, Alistair won't leave you in the end unless you make some Bad Life Choices.  Only the human noble can marry him and become queen (alas), but any of the other origins, he'll stick with you forever and adore you unless you do one particular really bad thing (I don't want to spoiler here?) or he, you know, dies.  Which is avoidable.

 

Ahahaha they will eventually make you choose, sadly.  You'd think Zev wouldn't care if you slept around, but you'd be wrong.......

 

GO SAVE FERELDEN!

I have a mini crush on Alistair and if he will be loyal to me forever then I totally choose him. I'll go with Zev the next time around...unless I play as a man. Then I might choose Morrigan just to see what it's like... O_O Or...I could play as a man and choose Zevran....omg I have so many games to play I need to calm down and focus on the darkspawn ahhhh

[starsapart]

I have a mini crush on Alistair and if he will be loyal to me forever then I totally choose him. I'll go with Zev the next time around...unless I play as a man. Then I might choose Morrigan just to see what it's like... O_O Or...I could play as a man and choose Zevran....omg I have so many games to play I need to calm down and focus on the darkspawn ahhhh

 

Juuuuuuuuuust lmk if you need me to tell you what to do to ensure your happy ending, then.

[Katydid]

I have no idea what you're talking about but it sounds captivating.

[starsapart]

I have no idea what you're talking about but it sounds captivating.

 

As far as I'm concerned, everyone needs a little Dragon Age in their lives.

 

btw, nothing has beat the rush I got out of the fact that you can choose to run away and be a lesbian pirate at the end of the second game.  Just... words fail.

 

Buuuuuuuut, since you asked!  Alistair:

 

 

Zev (couldn't find a good animated one, oh well):

 

[Ciara]

As far as I'm concerned, everyone needs a little Dragon Age in their lives.

 

btw, nothing has beat the rush I got out of the fact that you can choose to run away and be a lesbian pirate at the end of the second game.  Just... words fail.

If I become a lesbian pirate I become like you and I wanna be like you because you are incredible. 

[starsapart]

If I become a lesbian pirate I become like you and I wanna be like you because you are incredible. 

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

This made my day though lulz so not like me, omg, dying of laughter now.

[Ciara]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

This made my day though lulz so not like me, omg, dying of laughter now.

but but you have a wife and you're part of the cutlasses! LESBIAN PIRATE. you're even writing a story about pirates!

[starsapart]

but but you have a wife and you're part of the cutlasses! LESBIAN PIRATE. you're even writing a story about pirates!

 

LMFAO.

 

Well, I can't say anything as I am running the Cutlasses this go around.........

 

And I am writing about pirates....................................

 

I guess if we're technical, both Izzy and I qualify as bi pirates, but lesbian pirates is just more fun to say.  I can think of far less awesome people to be compared to than her: