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❤️ I was concerned about Helene and I'm glad you're alive.

That would be great! The spam/bots seem to have increased recently.

New challenge is up!       

A quick update for today before I go to bed: My glimmer for today was that I got to do deadlifts again as part of the legs circuit at the gym this morning!!! IT WAS AMAZING!!! It was 60lbs, and I had three intervals of 45 seconds to do as many reps as I could. The first 45 went super smoothly, I think I got ~20 lifts in, felt like a well oiled machine. The second interval wasn’t quite as fast but was still super smooth. The third interval I needed a break during - we were only resting 30 seconds between sets and that’s just not a lot when you are pushing it the way I was. But I still did really really well and the rest of the exercises went pretty well also, and I came home feeling like a freaking rockstar. It’s not a single lift max, but it felt SO GOOD and I was stupid excited. I was also the only person to attempt the deadlifts, the other classmates all did a squat machine thingy. It kind of freaked me out and the deadlifts were much more exciting, so I did that instead. And I was a giddy school kid for quite a while about it.    

Thank you, Sov!   I accept your solidarity in this as well, and am cheered by it. 🥰

I spent the last half of the previous challenge feeling like I was slowly sinking into the dark. Things were getting a little overwhelming and the only thing I felt I could do was try to enjoy the silence and solitude as much as possible because it was that or lose my grip on everything. A temporary med adjustment and my Dave coming home has buoyed me up again a bit, but on my ascent I realized that I had been getting glimmers of the goodness around me even in the darkness. Reviewing my forum posts and my daily journalling showed me that in hindsight it hadn’t been total darkness, that there were moments of brilliance and strangeness and beauty even in what emotionally felt like a barren ecosystem. This is a good reminder that our perceptions don’t always line up with the facts, and it’s one I need to keep in mind as we slip into shorter days and longer nights with the seasonal change as it can affect me.     This challenge will be primarily focused on collecting glimmers. A glimmer is the opposite of a trigger: something that catches your attention that makes you feel good, content, grateful, playful, contemplative, etc. I like to think that I am pretty good at noticing these things and drawing them into myself, but a more dedicated practice for a bit can’t hurt anything. Glimmers are related to a gratitude practice in my head, but they aren’t quite the same thing for me: glimmers are more fleeting, more catch and release than my gratitude practice, which is ritualized and written down. I am not sure if I’ll be writing down my glimmers for this challenge or not, but I think I’d like to if I can without damaging the ethereal nature of them. So this part of tracking things will be kind of wishy-washy, but I think that will be okay.      In terms of tracking I do have my chart ready to go:     I am hoping that a lower stakes challenge will help me recover a bit and fortify for the next round of Dave’s absence which will be January 4 to the end of March-ish. I need to be farther away from burnout before we do this again.    I hope that you are feeling cool and collected and ready to conquer your respective challenges if you are already on the boards for Zero Week. If you are taking the Zero Week to regroup and rest, then I wish you the deepest and most restful recovery.    Thanks for being here. ❤️  

I am currently shopping for a new horse and came across an ad for a 4 year old stallion who "would make an excellent gelding." My immediate thought is I dated some guys that phrase would have applied to.

Of course! They are the real stars of the show 🥰    

Yup I am right there with you. I was really hoping that getting a job would help me ease back into my old routines. I feel I've been in a rut for 1-2 years now. The embracing the nothingness did help originally but I need more sparkle in my life. Everything feels so dull! And I'm craving more.    Walking mostly because it's the easiest and most accessible for me. But also physical chores like cleaning the gardens for winter, visiting/grooming/riding my damn horse*🥲, playing disc with Winnie (dog).  I do really want to work on my mobility and strength but that comes later I think. The option is there but it's not a specific goal.    * I love her 🤣 she doesn't care I'm not riding but she's an expensive pet ($500cad/month) so I might as well be doing the thing and at least hanging out with her more because it's really beneficial to my mental health. 

Hey Rookie! Here to cheer and get all the updates on your adventures. Bonus pics of the pups are always welcome too.