Bearded_Dragon Posted April 24, 2014 Report Share Posted April 24, 2014 So this Newfie's wife gave birth to triplets. He was so furious, he picked up his shotgun and went out to look for the other 2 guys... 2 Quote Link to comment
The Swedish Ninja Posted April 24, 2014 Report Share Posted April 24, 2014 - Can you Swim?- Sure, I´ve been an errand-boy in Venice 1 Quote Level 3: NinjaCurrent Challenge with the Druids (Nov 2nd-dec 13th) Every man I meet, is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him. Emerson Link to comment
Guzzi Posted April 24, 2014 Report Share Posted April 24, 2014 Wanna hear a construction joke? You don't? Good, because I'm still working on it. 1 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Bearded_Dragon Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Wanna hear a construction joke?You don't? Good, because I'm still working on it. Ok, well let us know when you're nearly finis....ahhhh I see what you did there! 1 Quote Link to comment
cracked_belle Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 1 Quote there is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or Why or Who you are. you want one and I want one, but there isn't one. it comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. and yet you are all that you have, so you must be Enough. there is no other way. ― Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia Link to comment
cracked_belle Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 2 Quote there is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or Why or Who you are. you want one and I want one, but there isn't one. it comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. and yet you are all that you have, so you must be Enough. there is no other way. ― Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia Link to comment
cracked_belle Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 the rest are here: http://news.distractify.com/dark/trivial-facts/22-intellectual-jokes-that-will-make-you-feel-really-smart-or-really-dumb/?v=1 Quote there is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or Why or Who you are. you want one and I want one, but there isn't one. it comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. and yet you are all that you have, so you must be Enough. there is no other way. ― Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia Link to comment
Bearded_Dragon Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 the rest are here: http://news.distractify.com/dark/trivial-facts/22-intellectual-jokes-that-will-make-you-feel-really-smart-or-really-dumb/?v=1 I love them all! Quote Link to comment
Bearded_Dragon Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Might have already said this one, but I love it so: "Have you ever shoed a horse?" "No, but I have told a donkey to fuck off" 2 Quote Link to comment
Guzzi Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Nope! I'd have remembered that one, lol! Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 Someone brought me home a boomerang as a souvenir from Australia the other day. It's been years since I had one, couldn't remember how you're supposed to throw one. It came back to me eventually though. 3 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Bearded_Dragon Posted April 28, 2014 Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 Did you know that the Australian aboriginee word "boo" means "to return", because when you throw a regular meringue it doesn't come back 2 Quote Link to comment
Fearkiller Posted April 28, 2014 Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 A young boy was asked:"How did your mum and dad raise you?""Apparently." 1 Quote "There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged | STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.1 | 15.2 | Milythaels' HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good. It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator "I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories "Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." - Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. "Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky "Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings "I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit "If you do strange things, strange things will happen!" "That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted April 28, 2014 Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 Heir raising, that was! Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
Artinum Posted April 28, 2014 Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 Prince William is learning to play the guitar. Heir on a G-string... Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
cracked_belle Posted April 28, 2014 Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 so this and thought of y'all.not sure why the title says "20" but there's only eight. whatever. 1 Quote there is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or Why or Who you are. you want one and I want one, but there isn't one. it comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. and yet you are all that you have, so you must be Enough. there is no other way. ― Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia Link to comment
insanity Posted April 29, 2014 Report Share Posted April 29, 2014 I'm gonna flip this coin, and whatever it lands one, that's what I get alright? Quote "Insanity - you make my world a better place man, you really do! That shit is awesome! :D" - Guzzi- My first challenge My battle Log: Insanity: Warrior Monk Honorary Ranger dubbed by DarK_RaideR, 1000 Pound club (875 of 1000) Link to comment
Artinum Posted April 29, 2014 Report Share Posted April 29, 2014 I loved that first one, James. That's not stupid - it's a little bit meta (Meta? I don't even know her! Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week...) Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted April 29, 2014 Report Share Posted April 29, 2014 I read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. The first few chapters were awful, but by the end, I loved it. 6 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Artinum Posted April 29, 2014 Report Share Posted April 29, 2014 Hard boiled eggs are the best. You can't beat them. 1 Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
Lincarte Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 We do not serve faster than light particles in here, said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar. 1 Quote Lincarte - Level 3 - Dwarf Warrior Str: 7 | Dex: 1 | Sta: 3 | Con: 6 | Wis: 3 | Cha: 5Squat - 120(~265 lb.) | Bench - 95(~209lb.) | Deadlift - 190(~419 lb.) | Total: 405(~893 lb.)PvP:The 800 club - Daily Battle Log - #3, #2, #1 Link to comment
Fearkiller Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 We do not serve faster than light particles in here, said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar.Brilliant! 1 Quote "There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged | STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.1 | 15.2 | Milythaels' HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good. It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator "I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories "Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." - Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. "Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky "Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings "I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit "If you do strange things, strange things will happen!" "That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker Link to comment
The Swedish Ninja Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 - What is a superhero's favorite part of the joke?- The "punch" line! - When did Anakin Skywalker become evil? - In the sith grade! - What's the difference between Batman and a robber? - Batman can go into a store without robin!! 2 Quote Level 3: NinjaCurrent Challenge with the Druids (Nov 2nd-dec 13th) Every man I meet, is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him. Emerson Link to comment
Bearded_Dragon Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 An Irishman, a Rabbi and a blonde all walk into a bar... ...what a wonderful example of a multifaceted society. 3 Quote Link to comment
Guzzi Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 ^^^ lolz Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
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