Depression

[HandSewnMama]

I was hoping to hear from anyone who is fighting through depression or has successfully fought it off in the past. How do you get up and do things to overcome your depression, even when you're crying and frustrated and pessimistic and just want to curl up in a corner?

 

In my good times, I make plans for how to get better, and work on it, and make significant progress. But then, my depression hits in full force and, in part because the good times didn't last long enough for any of that to become habitual, I struggle to do anything at all. I am seeing a therapist, but hearing from people who've been through the same thing helps console me.

[Eats-Own-Tail]

yes. i am on 200mg of lustral a day for depression and ocd.

 

i find gaming motivates me. like fitocracy where you get points for when you exercise. or even fitness games like boxing.

 

what im finding atm is that i want to get onto the gaming, so i will do my chores/ cooking/ bathing first, to get onto the good stuff.

 

also this site i find hugely beneficial. the support and encouragement and inspiration are second to none imo.

[Ba'sini'on]

I don't think I have ever been depressed. But, I know my mom has been depressed, in fact I believe she still is. She will do nothing, just read her nook all day, watch the news, but not make any effort to do anything else.

 

I believe when my dad first lost his job, she got so stressed out that anything going wrong would make her freak out. She'd get upset, illogical, and start yelling at anyone who was in the room. Then she'd get sad and just take a nap or say she doesn't feel like doing anything. Let me know if that's depression or not. But some days I just want to tell her, 'You know the world is not directly on your shoulders to, there are millions of people who are going through worse stuff than you everyday of their lives. Why waste the time you have focusing on problems that happened yestarday, when you can make today a special time to make up for that one bad day.'

 

I'm not a psychiatrist or a therapist (are they the same? always wondered), but I can tell you what I do when I feel down. I remember this one time we were moving after the bank took our house. And I decided this was a perfect time to start over with my life and actually get my ass moving to making everyday different and worth remembering. So I got rid of a lot of stuff I kept for selfish reasons such as, clothes, broken toys, papers, etc.. My mom found out and she, being stressed out, blew up at me and said that unless I paid for it I don't actually own anything in the house, and I don't have any right in throwing anything away. And then, the icing on the cake, she said I won't ever make it in the Marines since I can't take a simple order. I got so upset I walked away from the house and just kept walking. I just started thinking and praying. And I came to the conclusion that if she doesn't really think I will make it, then I will prove her wrong. That's why I'm at Nerd Fitness!

 

From a personal view, find a drive. All those heroes on video games or movies have something to drive them on. And it's a unselfish one, saving someone they love, saving the world, or trying desparately to prevent the bad before it happens. Even in rpg you are driven to making your character the best so you can feel invincible.

 

My drive, to be physically and mentally the best in my family. To no longer be winded when running after my dog when he runs off, to not rely on my dad getting home to fix something, to be able to make mens jaws drop when I lift something they have trouble with. TO BE INVINCIBLE!!

 

Just think of that when your down. How determined are you to become Invincible? How determined are you, when the zombies arrive, to become a leader or friend people can lean on? Those are what I think of, at this moment I am no leader, but I'm working on it.

Oh! And stick a Geranium in your hat and be JOYFUL! Happiness is a fleeting feeling, joy lasts longer.

[Suited hippy]

I found exercise to be really effective at dealing with my problems. I was really anti-pharmaceutical after watching a person go from pill to pill to pill getting worse and worse and worse, so just started 5-6 days a week of biking, then jogging, then running.

 

I still am working through it,and there are good days and bad, but can feel it when I miss a few days in a row.

[IcePrincess]

I've battled depression for many years. At my worse I was laying on the floor sobbing next to my suicide note. I spent a lot of time being anti-medication, not really for others but for myself. I got so very low that I had to get myself help and be serious about it. I got on a meds and had them adjusted until I could function. I had to get them adjusted a few times before we got it in the right place. On top of that I started to see a therapist in order to get out of my self-loathing. I am so unbelievably happy to be able to function from day to day and not want to go throw myself in the missouri river. If I believed in a deity, I would thank them. I still get sad and have days where I want to lounge in bed, but its normal now, not heartbreaking. 

 

I don't know if that helps you, but I believe that you can beat your depression. You just have to take it a day at a time, and don't let moments of severe depression win. Reach out for help. You can even ask me for anything, and if I can help then I will. 

[ceethegreat]

You're not alone. When my mind has time to wander, I often find myself spiraling downwards, so generally I try to keep myself busy. I schedule myself for things I usually love, and I'm glad I do because when I'm finally doing it I feel better and productive. When I'm alone I try to think of things to be thankful. It helps to reach out to the right people ... I've learned during this recent bad bout that many of my friends are not what you'd call empathetic and it often made me feel much worse. Finding a good therapist helped, and talking other friends who can relate helps me. We've explored the root of what makes me so upset, and I'm also exploring my triggers so I can be more prepared when faced with them. I acknowledge when I feel awful, face it and fight to not spiral, then try to reframe and focus on the good. Some days are better than others. Some moments are definitely worse than others... Work in progress. Not sure if that helped, but yeah, you're not alone.

 

Also, my doc suggested the book Feeling Good, but honestly I haven't read it yet so I can't offer any review, but figured I'd throw it out there. 

[jenlady]

I do and it sucks but then i look in the mirror and im like damnnn

[Raincloak]

Biggest thing I learned about depression: if your therapist doesn't like you and genuinely care about you, or if you can't stand her, fire her and get another one.  If she doesn't care, she isn't going to help and could very well make things worse.  Trust me, I learned the hard way.

[Flex Luthor]

Exercise just about completely cured my depression. It still flares up from time to time but very rarely these days. The biggest suggestion I can offer is to get good at something.

 

I realize that this is pretty terrible advice for someone dealing with depression but bear with me. If you take it step by step one day at a time. Again this sounds like terrible advice but bear with me.

 

Do NOT set any goals. Goals are the enemy of depressed people as you feel it's impossible to accomplish anything.

 

The ONLY thing you need to think about is getting better at something. With exercise this is quite simple. If I do 1 more rep than yesterday, I've succeeded. Not having a goal frees you of the burden of thinking you can't do it. Step by step, one day at a time. You will be AMAZED at how far you can go. Trust me.

[Sambalina]

I've only had minor depressive episodes, so can't comment on anything re. suicidal thoughts or feelings of worthlessness. I've only dealt with the persistent, bone deep lack of joy, chemicals out of whack kind. My doctor recommended at least 45 mins of moderate to strenuous exercise 4 times a week and taking set amounts of time out, specifically set aside each day, to do things I enjoyed (or remember enjoying) doing.

 

This worked (and still does when I need it) for me very well. But, as I say, mine was minor and caught early, These days I'm super aware of the warning signs in myself and try to stop it in its tracks.

Good luck to you bagpipenbula - us nerds are always here if you need to talk.

[Pherales]

I have Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, formerly known as Borderline Personality Disorder.  I've fought with it since I was a child, but I only received a formal diagnosis a year and a half ago.  Before that I was being treated for depression.  The problem is that EUPD isn't just depression, so the medication and therapy just wasn't working.  It's more like Bipolar on steroids.  I can go from mania to suicidal to cheery to complacent back to mania in a five minute time frame.  

 

So I can't speak in totality for depression, because I don't know what it's like to have those feelings all of the time.  But I do know a thing or two about my own ways of coping.  When I get like that I take a slow, deep breath, and mentally step aside from the moment.  "This is just a moment in time, step aside and let it happen." Inara ~ Firefly.

 

Then I get out of bed, or off of the floor, wherever I am, and I put my sneakers on, and I walk.  Doesn't matter where I'm walking to, or from, I just walk until my calves burn and my back is tense.  Then I come home, take a shower, and curl back up with that feeling.  My friends call it my healthy self harm, because I'm not doing myself any damage.

 

Not everything works for everyone, but that's always my advice for people in similar situations.  When you can't cope, find something to do that doesn't require you to think.  Taking my mind off of something never helped me, getting lost in my own thoughts does.  It sounds counter-productive, but it's kind of like meditation.  Just let the mind float.  

 

And of course, seek help.  No one should go through tough times alone.

[Zorch]

You just have to take it a day at a time, and don't let moments of severe depression win. Reach out for help.

 

I would also force myself to leave the house, now and then, even if it was as little as 5 minutes out in the back yard in the sunshine.

 

 If you take it step by step one day at a time.

 

Step by step, one day at a time. You will be AMAZED at how far you can go. Trust me.

 

All of the above really summarize what I learned to be the most important thing(for me) about dealing with depression.  My problem when I was depressed was that I would sometimes allow a brief moment/episode to spiral into a colossal train wreck - culminating in a semester in college where the end result was pretty much my not attending class - and you can imagine the outcome there.

 

What I've learned about myself is that the single most important thing(for me) is to remind myself to keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when things seem hard.  Get out of bed in the morning, shower, go to work.  Go to class.  Having been there, it really is the little steps that you need to focus on sometimes - don't let them be barriers.  For me at least, once I actually get moving, the negativity tends to fade and I do okay - but I sometimes need to remind myself to avoid the self-sabotage of not even starting/trying.

 

I'd also refer to an article posted on this website recently:  http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2013/02/14/three-words-that-you-need-to-tell-yourself-daily/

 

"Do it now" is pretty much what I learned to be the answer(for me).  Don't make it about big things - make it about little steps.  Move the alarm clock away from your bedside so you can't reach it.  Then when it goes off, you're already up and moving around because you have to turn it off.  Like Athena said, simply get up and go out for a bit - it makes a huge difference.

 

The other thing is, if you can, to find a trusted friend or family member to support you in this struggle, who you trust enough to ask for help when you need it.  When I was dealing with this in the past, my parents were about the only ones who really supported me and helped me get through it.  Having even one person who can "coach" you a bit and help you through it can be immensely helpful.  When I was going through that struggle, just knowing that someone cared without judging meant the world to me.

[Timmy M]

Workout, get some

 and be awesome instead

 

(music helps too )

[ceethegreat]

For me, the self help technique that worked best was downgrading my expectations, and giving myself a mental pat on the back (with verbal reinforcing praise from my hubby) for every baby step forward. So stuff like "I got up and ate lunch and got dressed today!!" got a "Great, well done honey!" from my hubby, and myself.

 

Really good advice. I often make it worse for myself feeding the negative self-talk of why aren't I doing better than this. I've been working on those mental pats on the back, that the little steps forward really do count. It helps, offers moments of peace. And it takes a lot of practice.

[geegeemcgee]

Hey there.

I have Bipolar 2 disorder, which has been diagnosed as Depression and General Anxiety Disorder in the past.  

I've taken many many medications, worst of all being Effexor. Actually my misadventures with Effexor is what lead to my bipolar diagnosis.

Most recently I was prescribed Lamotrigine, however I have stopped taking it. I feel fine... Famous last words, right! I'm pretty well over taking medications. So much trial and error.

I don't need to go into detail about my own depression because pretty much everyone else has done it for me! So ditto to what they said. It has absolutely destroyed my life on more than one occasion.
I will say that the more I learn about how the brain works, the better my perspective on the disease becomes. 
I have also learnt how 'mindfulness' can be used to effectively separate myself from a potentially upsetting situation. I have had a lot of help from a trained therapist, however there are plenty of resources online, too. 
Actually it has taken me about 10 years to come around to the idea of mindfulness. I used to get really annoyed when I'd have a consultation with a specialist who would recommend it. Now I'm a little older and a little wiser, I can see that it really can help internally defuse a situation before it escalates to a point beyond possible intervention.

I still have moments which are so debilitating I can hardly function, however I know that these times will pass. I try to acknowledge the pain and helplessness and accept that they are real. I remind myself that this sucks right now, but it won't last forever; at some point in the coming days or weeks I will feel better. I try to accept how I'm feeling without judgement. I let myself cry, I allow myself to feel the pain and if it gets too much I will talk with my sister. This is a recent development; I never would of entertained the thought of discussing it with any member of my family, but for my own sanity I needed to accept help. Saying what's going on in my head out loud really helps me gain perspective. 

I have made a lot of drastic changes which have helped, too. Changes I thought I could never make! I quit my well paying job and downscaled my life, I've gotten rid of a lot of 'stuff' I didn't need and I try to focus on the present instead of the past and the future. I'm much calmer and centred now. I still have bad days which will come with any mood disorder, however I have the tools to face the distress and helplessness without fear that it will be the end of me. 

 =)
 

[Eats-Own-Tail]

i find music helps me alot.

 

today is pretty dark and stormy, emotionally speaking, but ive been listening to this http://youtu.be/Jq-07tZeb3I

 

new york girls by bellowhead, and its somewhat cheering.

[cracked_belle]

BACKGROUND:  I have OCD, adult ADHD, REM behaviour problems, manic depression (bipolar), and a nice handful of other fun and some lesser-known Crazies.  I take nine fraking pills a day.
 
MY SUGGESTION:  make a Promise.  I take Promises deathly seriously.  I can't get up and exercise for me, because I hate myself in a Depression, and I don't deserve this, etc etc.  but I've found that if I Promise someone else (usually the NF community and my Beau; for example), then I'm more likely to do it.

 

and make sure it's something small.  for example: I won't Promise my Beau that I'll do a full routine when Depressed; instead I'll agree to something like just jumping jacks and maybe one weight.  another example, from the link above: I struggle with alcohlism.  I know better than to Promise anyone that I won't drink this weekend.  instead, I'm limiting myself to only two drinks every night.

 

so Promise someone else, and Promise them something smaller than you'd otherwise demand of yourself.

 

hope that helps.  and good luck!

[cracked_belle]

I'm not a psychiatrist or a therapist (are they the same? always wondered)

psychiatrist can prescribe medication. a psychologist and a therapist cannot. the diff between a psychologist and a therapist is that the former tends to be more educated in the science of mental disorders, whereas the latter focuses more on emotional correction.

makes sense?

[Suited hippy]

I Love that Ben Howard song... I listened the whole album on repeat for weeks when I was going through the worst of it...

 

A few days ago I heard this great spoken word poem called "instructions for a bad day" it's pretty uplifting...

[BarefootViking]

Have to admit that I get big waves of it from time to time.  Usually it is that deep feeling of desponancy over what I haven't achieved or the situation I find myself in.  But they don't last too long before the other voices in my head get tired of the whining and the reality that life is just a game and if I'm not winning I just need to adjust strategy and attack again.  Then things are better again.

[WildColonialGrrl]

You definitely aren't alone even though it will feel that way sometimes.

My anxiety/depression seems to be kicked off at the change of summer to autumn. Some years I get it, some years I don't. Sometimes I am on a mild SSRI for a year or so.

You are at a really awesome level of self-awareness that I wish I had had at your age. I used to just run away, quit my job, study whatever and get in the car or on a plane and go til I felt better. I didn't stand and face my depression until I was 30 and that required a little medication and action. I am only now realizing that the anxiety precedes a downward spiral. That self-awareness has taken another 7 years of ups and downs.

Like most things involving health it's an n=1 experiment. Take suggestions, try different things and see what works for you. I haven't worked out how much cleaning up my diet effects my mental health yet but I know that exercise is a huge factor in managing my anxiety levels and coming out of depressive episodes. Especially exercising outdoors or just being outside makes a big difference to me.

Part of the reason I recently joined this site was I have lost my routine with a new job and haven't exercised much and my anxiety levels are building. I need the motivation to make an effort at the moment. Right now, I need to stop collecting underpants and make a plan to start on Monday.

Use any resource/person/activity that works for you.

All the best with your future health.

[krainey7]

As you've seen, you're not alone. I've struggled with OCD, severe depression, and general anxiety disorder since I first started in elementary school (a good while ago), and I went through pill after pill trying to fix myself. Once one thing was controlled, another went crazy. About a year ago, I ditched them completely, and have mostly only struggled with depression and anxiety (I had behavioral therapy for the OCD and learned to control that on my own). I've gone weeks at a time just going through the motions and hardly feeling that I'm alive, but I did find one thing that helped. I got into caring what I ate and setting a workout schedule that I actually stuck to. I paid more attention to how I felt, and I knew I had to work out, because my calendar said so. Working out generally helped ward off some of the depression, with music and the great feeling of sweating yourself out of the fog, but it's never completely gone away. Truth is, it never will. But YOU can push it out of the picture. Your brain is just programmed to have it. Different chemicals in different proportions cause mental disorders like depression, so, aside from medicines (which, for me, will be a very last resort, mainly because of the side effects), you'll never "fix" it. You can control it. You find what gets you out of that fog, whether it's running, swimming, playing sports, reading, whatever it is, do it. Set a schedule so you can't avoid it. At the time, I paid for a group x class so that I couldn't justify not going (I'd be wasting money). If it's at a set time, you can't let your depression make you skip it. You'll go, and whatever you decide is your activity will clear the fog as best it can.

 

That's the best advice I've got at the moment. Sorry it's not the most encouraging, but I know you can do it. It sucks. Alot. But I believe 100% that if you find the one thing that burns through your fog and makes you feel life pulse through you again, YOU WILL FEEL BETTER. You can do it. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. I'll be around if you need anything specific. Just a message away. It's a lot easier to get through it when others have your back, and I'm sure we're all more than willing to help.

[AestheticB]

I have been struggling with depression for the past few years too. I think one thing that both my therapist and psychiatrist have said that was helpful was this. There is a flow of ups and downs in life and especially in depression. (Sounds cheesy I know. Bear with me). When you have those times where you feel better, those are glimpses of the place you want to be. You can look at them and see what was different about those times (maybe even write it down). With proper help (be it medication, therapy, exercise, or whatever will work for you) those times of feeling better will last a little longer and the negative times will get a little shorter until eventually you are where you want to be. I am still in the midst of my recovery from depression and I can say that for me that gives me hope. It is really helpful to look at those better times and see what thought processes were different and how I can try to implement those better thought processes in the bad times. Sometimes for me it is a struggle to get through even just the next moment but the evidence so far shows that I have gotten through to the next moment for over 22 years, so I tell myself I will be okay. 

[Irish Oisin]

I used to be prone to bouts of depression but once I figured out what was making me depressed I was able to get over it. What makes you depressed varies from person to person, but getting out and getting your body active is 100% a fantastic idea. Your body wants to exercise and when it does it's happy, it releases a host of happy hormones and chemicals. If you do that a lot, the overall effect is fantastic.

 

Talk to your friends, talk to your counsellor and try to find a solution that doesn't involve a prescription. Your body has the ability to be happy and WANTS to be happy and you can do it!

[sunshinegirl4816]

I totally agree with this post.  I have made more progress within the last six-months with consistant exercise ...then I ever did going to a therapist.  I am not a doctor or anything but I think this is spot on.

 

Exercise just about completely cured my depression. It still flares up from time to time but very rarely these days. The biggest suggestion I can offer is to get good at something.

 

I realize that this is pretty terrible advice for someone dealing with depression but bear with me. If you take it step by step one day at a time. Again this sounds like terrible advice but bear with me.

 

Do NOT set any goals. Goals are the enemy of depressed people as you feel it's impossible to accomplish anything.

 

The ONLY thing you need to think about is getting better at something. With exercise this is quite simple. If I do 1 more rep than yesterday, I've succeeded. Not having a goal frees you of the burden of thinking you can't do it. Step by step, one day at a time. You will be AMAZED at how far you can go. Trust me.