oldnews Posted August 16, 2015 Report Share Posted August 16, 2015 It's always comforting to read this thread and see so many people talk about having limited or no friends. I've actually had people say "but you MUST have SOME friends. What about people you went to school with?" Like, you're right. I forgot about them. Silly me. 1 Quote Battle Log: [auntdinosaur] unstuck in time Link to comment
zeroh13 Posted August 17, 2015 Report Share Posted August 17, 2015 I really ought to stop lurking in this thread... (deep breath) The only person in my life that I consider a true friend is my wife. And we both have pretty bad social anxiety. Everytime I read something about how to make friends, I go "But I can't do that!" cause of my anxiety. And everytime I read things about how to cope with anxeity, it's "But that's not how my anxiety works!" I'm also 99% sure that I have aspergers, but I don't have the money to get a diagnosis, and whenever I think about calling a place to ask if my insurance would cover it, anxiety rears it's head. :/ I also run into the trouble of having nothing/very little in common with people outside of the anime, gaming, sci-fi, and goth groups. I had some friends back in high school, but we drifted apart pretty quickly after I moved away for college. I miss just hanging out with people. Once I get past my anxiety and under-developed social skills, I'm actually more of an extrovert than an introvert. 1 Quote Current Challenge: Zeroh, stick to the routine! Link to comment
Cutebug Posted August 17, 2015 Report Share Posted August 17, 2015 I also run into the trouble of having nothing/very little in common with people outside of the anime, gaming, sci-fi, and goth groups. I had some friends back in high school, but we drifted apart pretty quickly after I moved away for college. I miss just hanging out with people. Once I get past my anxiety and under-developed social skills, I'm actually more of an extrovert than an introvert.One of my besties is an extrovert with extreme social anxiety. Once she gets chatty, she's the friendliest person EVER, but often she will just not want to leave the house, especially if there will be a crowd or lots of people she doesn't know. Her gf is big into board gaming, and she's found that's a good, quiet way to be social and hang out with people with similar nerdy interests, and who aren't too socially demanding. I'm a shy introvert with mild social anxiety who likes attention (go figure!), and I've also found that gaming is a good social outlet for me, but only if I don't play too many games I'm not familiar with, with people I don't know. I find that stressful. But playing games I know with people I have met before is pretty awesome! Quote Hobbit Ranger, Dragon Slayer, Crazy Cat Lady, Beekeeper Sixth Ranger Challenge Link to comment
Rurik Harrgath Posted August 17, 2015 Report Share Posted August 17, 2015 I got the animal reference from page 1.http://dingo.care2.com/pictures/greenliving/uploads/2012/10/animals-myersbriggs-chart.jpg I fluctuate between INTJ and INTP so tiger and owl sound about right depending on the day. They can be...so once I find a good one I tend to sink my hooks in deep. Some friends I've had for over twenty years. But I keep moving around, and that tends to leave me solitary in the city. Umm more free time for gaming? Three sounds pretty solid to me, though. The three friends I mentioned were one from my army days who I rarely see now, one from my current job who left in the spring and we've been slowly drifting apart through lack of contact, and my girlfriend. So in saying "three", I might have sounded more generous than reality. But I still have Nerd Fitness, right? Quote [Level ??] Rurik, the Thunderer Class: Stormborn War-Shaman (Path of Giants Barbarian/Conquest Paladin/Elemental Domain Cleric) BRUTALITY 11 | FINESSE 10 | VIGOR 11 | INSIGHT 14 | WILL 13 Equipment: Studded leather armor, war club, plus adventurer's pack containing rations, rope, and nature-based potions. "Rangers have to at least give up on pants. It's a special rule we enacted after Rurik became a Guild Leader.” – DarK_RaideR "Did I just get my ass kicked by a member of Metallica meets History Channel's Vikings?" - Wild Wolf "By the Well-Oiled-and-Meticulously-Groomed Beard of Rurik!" - Tanktimus the Encourager Link to comment
Archon Posted August 17, 2015 Report Share Posted August 17, 2015 I trust no one until they prove themselves worthyI have the exact opposite problem. I think people are awesome and love getting to know new people (their strengths and their weaknesses), but I often end up getting hurt by people because I don't throw up my reservations and defenses until it is far too late. And while I believe all people are awesome in their own way, the thing I have slowly come to realize is that there are none (or few) out there who are just genuinely kind and loving, which sucks. People are awesome, but mostly they just suck b/c everyone is selfish and self-focused. Just fucking be nice... *frustration* Quote Level 14 -- Yeti Ranger -- STR 30.25 | DEX 12.00 | STA 21.00 | CON 14.75 | WIS 18.00 | CHA 7.50 Current Challenge -- Previous Challenges -- My Epic Quest -- Album of Holding -- About Me Link to comment
zeroh13 Posted August 18, 2015 Report Share Posted August 18, 2015 I've always had trouble trusting people, probably because growing up my "friends" just wanted me around so they could play my video games, and just be horrible people. But my trust issues got worse a couple years ago after a very good friend turned into a creepy stalker (while completely failing to see that they had). Fun times. And by worse I mean that I used to be a lot more open on forums and such (we first met online), and now I'm really hesitant and sometimes find myself second guessing interactions. Quote Current Challenge: Zeroh, stick to the routine! Link to comment
Br0din Posted August 18, 2015 Report Share Posted August 18, 2015 The three friends I mentioned were one from my army days who I rarely see now, one from my current job who left in the spring and we've been slowly drifting apart through lack of contact, and my girlfriend. So in saying "three", I might have sounded more generous than reality. But I still have Nerd Fitness, right? Bro, you are just my imaginary friend anyways, you don't exist. its all in the 1 Quote May Br0din bless you with mighty gains, and may your shaker bottle always be full. Wheymen ...and, if you die... Walk it off - Captain America Level 13: 1/4 Giant Warrior STR - 50 | DEX - 19 | STA - 19 | CON - 14 | WIS - 28 | CHA - 24 My food logging is here*: MFP: tyrsnbdr Link to comment
Rurik Harrgath Posted August 18, 2015 Report Share Posted August 18, 2015 Bro, you are just my imaginary friend anyways, you don't exist. its all in the I accept this reality. 1 Quote [Level ??] Rurik, the Thunderer Class: Stormborn War-Shaman (Path of Giants Barbarian/Conquest Paladin/Elemental Domain Cleric) BRUTALITY 11 | FINESSE 10 | VIGOR 11 | INSIGHT 14 | WILL 13 Equipment: Studded leather armor, war club, plus adventurer's pack containing rations, rope, and nature-based potions. "Rangers have to at least give up on pants. It's a special rule we enacted after Rurik became a Guild Leader.” – DarK_RaideR "Did I just get my ass kicked by a member of Metallica meets History Channel's Vikings?" - Wild Wolf "By the Well-Oiled-and-Meticulously-Groomed Beard of Rurik!" - Tanktimus the Encourager Link to comment
PixieKitten Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 I'm at the point now where I'm just done with people. I used to be ridiculously anxious and shy, but I came out of my shell a bit and learnt how to be more social.... and it's ended up completely screwing me over. Now, while I'm not exactly scared of people anymore, I just don't want to have anything to do with them any more. People just arent worth the drama they bring with them. I think i'll just stick with my online buddies(i.e. the NF lot). Oh, I took that test? I'm a panda. Cool. *munches on bamboo* 4 Quote Level 9 Pixie I may not be the strongest, the fastest, or the bravest. But I'll be damned if I'm not trying my hardest. 17 STR ¦ 17 STA ¦ 13 CON ¦ 17 WIS ¦ 13 CHA ¦ 12 DEX Latest Challenge! , Battle Log! , CHARACTERYAY Link to comment
TMedina Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 I'm at the point now where I'm just done with people. I used to be ridiculously anxious and shy, but I came out of my shell a bit and learnt how to be more social.... and it's ended up completely screwing me over. Now, while I'm not exactly scared of people anymore, I just don't want to have anything to do with them any more. People just arent worth the drama they bring with them. I think i'll just stick with my online buddies(i.e. the NF lot). Oh, I took that test? I'm a panda. Cool. *munches on bamboo* So much truth. Quote Imaginary Human Male Dilettante Trainer, Level 1 Spoiler How to: Add the status bar to my signature How to: Spruce up your profile Where to start: General Fitness questions How to: Declutter your life, a minimalism thread How to: Slay your budgeting woes (or at least, start the quest) Link to comment
PixieKitten Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 2 Quote Level 9 Pixie I may not be the strongest, the fastest, or the bravest. But I'll be damned if I'm not trying my hardest. 17 STR ¦ 17 STA ¦ 13 CON ¦ 17 WIS ¦ 13 CHA ¦ 12 DEX Latest Challenge! , Battle Log! , CHARACTERYAY Link to comment
Hermione Gainser Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 My people! but only over the internet. IRL, please don't fn touch me. My last two challenges have focused on me getting out and interacting with people - developing friendships, etc. It's rough, but I'm finding it's getting easier. I spend a lot less time after an interaction thinking about what I said and how I probably sounded stupid, or spastic, or I was talking too fast, or not looking them in the eye, or did I have something in my teeth - gosh I hope not, do they think I'm weird. I am weird, so do I care. Penguin! Re the talking over each other thing. Dudes. I went on vacation with two ADHD extroverts last year. The only silence came when I slept. But really, I like a good mix of extroverts in my life. I'm not a chatty person, and I suck at small talk, and I can never think of things to ask a person about their life... so I end up just staring at them. I'm okay with that, but I think others aren't really. Get an extrovert in the mix, especially one with ADHD, and the conversation burden is off my shoulders. Anyhow.. I started reading somewhere around the hipster talk and have a comment re beards and plaid. 1. Beards need to be removed from the hipster bingo. They are pervasive enough that hipsters should be shaving by now. 2. Beards + plaid = lumbersexual. And that's waaaaaaaaaaaay better than hipster. So, take a few off your lists guys. Machete, get you a damn beard. /disjointed post 1 Quote "I'm just going to remember to not eat like an asshole most of the time" - MoC three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: one must squat.- Brobert Frost Half-Elf Warrior | Current Challenge New Battle Log | Old Battle Log Special thanks to AkLulu for drawing my awesome avatar! Link to comment
zeroh13 Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 Re the talking over each other thing. Dudes. I went on vacation with two ADHD extroverts last year. The only silence came when I slept. But really, I like a good mix of extroverts in my life. I'm not a chatty person, and I suck at small talk, and I can never think of things to ask a person about their life... so I end up just staring at them. I'm okay with that, but I think others aren't really. Get an extrovert in the mix, especially one with ADHD, and the conversation burden is off my shoulders. When I'm around people I just met or otherwise cause anxiety, I'm totally cool with just sitting in the background and listening (but if they are talking about things I have strong opinions about then I end up awkwardly sitting there wondering how to butt into their conversation). I've found that when I'm around people and I come across as "too quiet" it tends to make them uncomfortable. I don't get it. But when I'm comfortable with someone, I can talk a lot (sometimes I wonder later if I talked too much). Just don't ask me what I was saying a minute ago cause I'll have no idea what it was (yay ADHD), so you better keep up with what I'm saying. Quote Current Challenge: Zeroh, stick to the routine! Link to comment
Machete Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 I started reading somewhere around the hipster talk and have a comment re beards and plaid. 1. Beards need to be removed from the hipster bingo. They are pervasive enough that hipsters should be shaving by now. 2. Beards + plaid = lumbersexual. And that's waaaaaaaaaaaay better than hipster. So, take a few off your lists guys. Machete, get you a damn beard. /disjointed post I'm Asian. This is the best I can do. (Unless a bush counts.) Quote Valar Morghulis Halfling Monk, Chaotic Neutral Machete's Blog: Inside A Mad Mind Third World Warrior: The Eight-Year Training Log Link to comment
Hermione Gainser Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 I'm Asian. This is the best I can do. (Unless a bush counts.) damn. well. How about.... there! 1 Quote "I'm just going to remember to not eat like an asshole most of the time" - MoC three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: one must squat.- Brobert Frost Half-Elf Warrior | Current Challenge New Battle Log | Old Battle Log Special thanks to AkLulu for drawing my awesome avatar! Link to comment
oldnews Posted August 21, 2015 Report Share Posted August 21, 2015 I'm at the point now where I'm just done with people. I used to be ridiculously anxious and shy, but I came out of my shell a bit and learnt how to be more social.... and it's ended up completely screwing me over. Now, while I'm not exactly scared of people anymore, I just don't want to have anything to do with them any more. People just arent worth the drama they bring with them. I think i'll just stick with my online buddies(i.e. the NF lot). Oh, I took that test? I'm a panda. Cool. *munches on bamboo* I've been feeling this way, too. I feel like whenever I try to overcome my social anxieties and befriend someone, they turn out to be kind of a knob. But, I'm apparently a content-looking seal. I can continue to be a content-looking seal all by myself. 2 Quote Battle Log: [auntdinosaur] unstuck in time Link to comment
Fearkiller Posted September 9, 2015 Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve.Jesus, does anyone?movie Stand by Me ... *sigh* Also, going on an archive binge on this thread,I hope you don't mind the late likes. Good stuff, btw. Quote "There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged | STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.1 | 15.2 | Milythaels' HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good. It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator "I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories "Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." - Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. "Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky "Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings "I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit "If you do strange things, strange things will happen!" "That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker Link to comment
Artinum Posted September 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 I'm still in touch with many of my school friends, though I met them around age 13-14 rather than at twelve. I don't remember anyone at school when I was twelve. My university friends - lost touch with all of them within a few years of graduating. Never really gelled with them. And thanks for waking up this thread, Fearkiller. Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
Oramac Posted September 9, 2015 Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 Oh, I took that test? I'm a panda. Cool. *munches on bamboo* Sweet. I took the test. Apparently, I'm a damn tortoise. Fuckin A, I can't even get a good animal buddy. I honestly can't remember a time when I actually had "friends". And here I mean the "drop anything and help you" kind of friends. Most of the people I know would, at best, be very good acquaintances. And high school/college? Laugh! I had maybe 2 good acquaintances in HS that I now only interact with in the very occasional facebook post. Put it this way: I've been seriously considering making characters and playing a D&D game by myself, since I can't seem to find anything decent around me. Yea. Sorry for the super ranty post. I've been thinking about all this stuff for a long time, and it kinda just makes me bitter. Quote "Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back." - Captain Malcolm Reynolds Current Challenge Also, I Agree With Tank™ Link to comment
Silo Posted September 9, 2015 Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 Hey, I'm a tortoise too. I'm an ISTJ bordering on INTJ (tiger.) So a tortoise with sharp teeth? 1 Quote 2016 goals: Hit goal weight. Build muscle.2015 goals: Get stronger, stop loathing squats and get better at them - DONE!!!2014 goal: Lose 52.5 lbs. - DONE!!! 12/13/14 MFP Link to comment
Artinum Posted September 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 So a tortoise with sharp teeth? ...a Venus Fly Trap? Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
zeroh13 Posted September 9, 2015 Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 Apparently I'm ISTP, so I'm a snake? Not so sure it fits me, lol.The first few months that I was 12 I had 1 friend and a few acquaintances. Then over the summer we moved and I went down to no friends or acquaintances. I never had a group of friends until halfway through high school, but I've since lost touch with all but a couple that are mostly just facebook friends at this point. But at least I don't have bullies messing with me on a regular anymore (that actually stopped in high school for whatever reason).I would love to go back to having a group of friends, but anxiety and how the hell are you even supposed to meet new people as an adult? Quote Current Challenge: Zeroh, stick to the routine! Link to comment
joedog Posted September 10, 2015 Report Share Posted September 10, 2015 Sweet. I took the test. Apparently, I'm a damn tortoise. Fuckin A, I can't even get a good animal buddy. I honestly can't remember a time when I actually had "friends". And here I mean the "drop anything and help you" kind of friends. Most of the people I know would, at best, be very good acquaintances. And high school/college? Laugh! I had maybe 2 good acquaintances in HS that I now only interact with in the very occasional facebook post. Put it this way: I've been seriously considering making characters and playing a D&D game by myself, since I can't seem to find anything decent around me. Yea. Sorry for the super ranty post. I've been thinking about all this stuff for a long time, and it kinda just makes me bitter. I am in the process of making new friends right now. I keep finding myself stopping just short of an amazed, "You actually WANT to do stuff with me??" 1 Quote joedog, level 15 Monk Current Challenge Link to comment
Hermione Gainser Posted September 10, 2015 Report Share Posted September 10, 2015 Hey, I'm a tortoise too. I'm an ISTJ bordering on INTJ (tiger.) So a tortoise with sharp teeth? snapping turtle? Quote "I'm just going to remember to not eat like an asshole most of the time" - MoC three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: one must squat.- Brobert Frost Half-Elf Warrior | Current Challenge New Battle Log | Old Battle Log Special thanks to AkLulu for drawing my awesome avatar! Link to comment
PixieKitten Posted September 10, 2015 Report Share Posted September 10, 2015 Sweet. I took the test. Apparently, I'm a damn tortoise. Fuckin A, I can't even get a good animal buddy. I honestly can't remember a time when I actually had "friends". And here I mean the "drop anything and help you" kind of friends. Most of the people I know would, at best, be very good acquaintances. And high school/college? Laugh! I had maybe 2 good acquaintances in HS that I now only interact with in the very occasional facebook post. Put it this way: I've been seriously considering making characters and playing a D&D game by myself, since I can't seem to find anything decent around me. Yea. Sorry for the super ranty post. I've been thinking about all this stuff for a long time, and it kinda just makes me bitter. Woooah there buddy. Tortoises are awesome.But maybe I'm biased because I have a sulcata tortoise. Quote Level 9 Pixie I may not be the strongest, the fastest, or the bravest. But I'll be damned if I'm not trying my hardest. 17 STR ¦ 17 STA ¦ 13 CON ¦ 17 WIS ¦ 13 CHA ¦ 12 DEX Latest Challenge! , Battle Log! , CHARACTERYAY Link to comment
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