Life is hard, and full of disappointment

[Fitz_Hulk]

Hi guys, 

It has been a while since I've posted on the forums, and since then I've been doing well, and then doing badly. Food is and has always been my downfall. I feel like I've tried everything, and nothing works. I've tried working out, so that I'll be inspired to eat well, but it doesn't work. I've tried not having junk food in the house, but I just buy it when I'm out. I'm constantly slipping up at some point in the day and feeling like any other effort isn't worth it - or at least, using that as an excuse to eat badly for the rest of the day. Plus, working in a supermarket where there is often free food makes it really difficult to not eat that free food!

I've taken a short break from working out so that I can work on eating well, seeing as that's my real problem. I was working on weights, and the old Rebel Strength guide, but because my diet is like a rollercoaster, I didn't see results. Plus I'm super impatient, so even six weeks is a long time to wait to see anything happen. Also, I started working night shift twice a week so I need to prepare even more in advance for those days (I do nightfill and uni over two days so I have to plan food and naps strategically!) 

I'm reaching out for help. I need accountability and support. My boyfriend is great except that he's also super encouraging of self love and he likes my body the way it is. I love this! But it doesn't help me eat better. 

I know I can do better, but my stupid brain gets in the way. Help me, Obi-wan Kenobi! You're my only hope!

[Moros]

Hi thatgirlwrites,

 

I'm still a NF baby myself, but diet is still a big issue for me.  Speaking only for myself, I think it was important for me to get some small consistent improvements in my diet, rather than try to fix everything at once.  At one time (before NF), I used to drink over 2-3 liters of non-diet soda a day.  I started off by alternating soda  with lemonade, then iced tea, and then finally water.  I basically only drink soda now when its either a special occasion, or my stomach is upset.  Maybe it might be worth starting with one simple diet change, like making your breakfast a high-protein one, or drinking one extra glass of water a day.  For me at least, I needed to stick with something very easy and simple for up to 1-2 weeks before adding the next thing.

 

Your mileage may vary,

 

Moros

[Fitz_Hulk]

Thanks Moros,

I have been focussing on getting a lot of water in - I have an app called plant nanny where when you record how much water you're drinking, it waters an adorable plant and you level up. So that helps a lot. 

Thanks for your encouragement. It's super hard to keep motivated when doing slow changes, but they tend to be the only ones that stick. Such a catch 22. It really helps to hear your words. 

Cheers

[NeverThatBored]

Working in a supermarket and trying to eat healthy sounds really hard!

 

The NF blog has a really good post about building habit change by starting small. After I learned more about habit forming, I made a giant list of all the habits I want to work on (broken down into very small points) and then I just picked one to start with. I did that one thing for a month, and then when I felt like I had really gotten myself adjusted to that one small habit, I added a new one from the list. So far, it's been much more effective than my past attempts at self-improvement! 

 

A food-related one that helped me a lot was to stop eating after 8pm whenever I could. It'll obviously depend on your situation what small changes will matter most to you, but that's the general idea. 

[Raincloak]

Despite what you hear around these parts (and elsewhere), diet isn't everything. Besides, why would having a flawed diet be a reason to not exercise? You will get stronger if you exercise, regardless of what you eat (unless you eat nothing, then of course you will get weaker no matter what you do). You'll gain strength faster lifting weights and eating steak than you will by lifting weights and eating pastries, but you'll get stronger either way.

And six weeks is plenty long enough to see some gains at the numerical level (that is, you can run longer or lift heavier than you could when you started), even if it doesn't show in the mirror. Those gains take 3 to 12 days to appear, not six weeks. So I don't know what you mean by not seeing any gains -- if you mean you didn't externally look any different, that I would believe. If you weren't gaining any strength or endurance, maybe you weren't working out often enough or measuring consistently (your strength does fluctuate with your cycle, time of day, and other factors).

The only reasons I can think of to quit workouts and focus on diet (or vice versa) is if you are injured, or if you only have time to cook or work out, but not both. I believe exercise outweighs diet if your diet is even close to decent. But I suppose for some people, diet is a lower hanging fruit than exercise and therefore easier to grasp. Anyways, first grab whichever of the two fruits is easier for you to reach. If you think fixing your diet is easier, go right ahead.

I work at a food bank, so I too am exposed to a lot of tasty looking junk food. One key there is remembering that it LOOKS tasty but frequently isn't (most of what we get is stale, naturally -- the stores give us what they didn't sell). Sugar always tastes good, but life's too short for stale styrofoam cake, wouldn't you agree?

Another key is that the food will always be there, so just because it's available now does not mean you have to eat it now. This is one instance where it's okay to procrastinate. Your reptile brain will naturally prompt you to consume anything "free" because it thinks you live in a world of scarcity and the food is going to disappear if you don't grab it now. That poor reptile is unaware that we live in a country where food is always available and it will never, never starve. So the wiser and younger human brain (the part you control) must take charge and remember that overconsumption is the real danger, and true safety lies in passing up the bait. (Which part of your brain gave the statement "Life is hard and full of disappointment"?)

Refusing to bring junk food into the house is an excellent first step. It's my primary defense, too. But you can also choose not to buy it when you are out. Make a rule. You are not the kind of person who buys that stuff. You do not eat that stuff any more. It is not part of your plan. You eat delicious vegetables and fruits and proteins and whole grains and clean fats. You have a plan to be healthy and beautiful, and you are the kind of can-do, take-charge person who sticks to her plans and gets what she wants.

[Dradis]

 I believe exercise outweighs diet if your diet is even close to decent. But I suppose for some people, diet is a lower hanging fruit than exercise and therefore easier to grasp. Anyways, first grab whichever of the two fruits is easier for you to reach. If you think fixing your diet is easier, go right ahead.

 

I agree with this to an extent. The issue is that noobies to exercising haven't got the capacity to make the exercise outweigh their diet, and lets be honest most the advice out there is for noobs or relative noobs, hence diet is the key for _most_ people.

Certainly there are plenty of examples of people out there who can eat a relatively bad diet and be in great shape (Usain Bolt and his chicken nuggets for example) but most of those have massive workout capacity.

 

I've seen it a certain amount in myself too, back when my hardest workout consisted of swimming 20 lengths i had to be pretty tight on my diet in order to drop weight. Now, despite being lighter and thus having a lower BMR i can sneak treats in because my increased work capacity can cancel them out.

 

 

But yeah, totally agree that you should not quit working out to fix your diet unless absolutely necessary.

[mom2sjm]

When I got serious about losing weight I did stop exercising EXCEPT for walking.  I walked for 30 minutes every day but nothing else.  I kept the food super simple.  3-4 oz protein + 2 cups veggies for every meal, that's it.  plus one snack (quest bar - high protein/low carb) which I would eat after my walk.  also - only water. which was very hard for me since previously I had a serious soda habit (6-8 coca colas daily).  happily - once I cut out the grains, my sugar cravings subsided.  

 

It took me a little over 4 months to lose about 30 pounds.  I am a little older than your average rebel (46) so that might have been affecting my results (metabolism you know) but I thought I'd share my experience.  Focusing only on food really made the difference for me.   

 

Nowadays I still stick mostly to protein/veggies per meal but with breakfast I have fruit.  I've also added back in cheese and yogurt, occasionally there is bread and rice.  And beer.  but still no soda - well, I do like a soda at the movies but otherwise I'm good.  I do xfit twice a week.

[Stonefist]

When you say "I didn't see results" - what exactly do you mean?

I ask this because the kind of results we see largely depends on the metrics by which we measure them.

To use myself as a case in point: I started as a complete couch potato about a year ago. If I measure my progress using only weight, I have barely made any at all (I weigh about the same as I did then). Looking at the weights I can move, and at my reflection in the mirror, however, leads to a completely different conclusion.

Now, I don't know enough about you and your situation to be sure, but I suspect you may be relying a bit too much on just the scale to measure your results. My suggestion would be to look into other ways to evaluate your progress, and perhaps avoid getting quite so discouraged.

[MAGICFATSO]

Maybe you can't do better... I mean, life is pretty boring when you have to cut al the things you like. Or better said, when you force yourself to stop doing most of the things you normally do. The results may or may not suck, but the important thing is that no one really sees them and no one really cares... Don't even bother changing unless you are 100% in.

[Fitz_Hulk]

Thanks for all your comments guys.

 

You're right - I was definitely focusing too much on the scale, and not enough on non scale victories. I worked on a program from the Rebel Strength Guide for six weeks, and for those six weeks I was really focused, but after that I got discouraged because the scale wasn't moving.

 

I really appreciate the encouragement and the tough love. I just got Nerd Fitness Yoga, because I've been having some back pain (I work nights filling shelves at a supermarket) and I want to get back in the habit of a regular routine. I think focusing on that and food, and gradually adding in some other fitness, will do me quite well for now. 

 

Plus I just went supermarket shopping and bought mostly veggies and some rice (I've got chicken in the freezer) - I am on the right track!