Battle Kitten: Ascension

[Sylvaa]

9 hours ago, fleaball said:

Research prof actually got back to me. And says she was "coincidentally" going to email me soon. Didn't have anything to say about being super late otherwise, so I guess I'm okay? One less thing to worry about.

 

So my antibiotic says to take on an empty stomach, an hour before eating or 2-3 after. Don't they know I'm ALWAYS eating? 

 

Also super fun: the epic plague of 2015 started with being treated for strep. (Which I didn't have.) I might possibly be worried about a reaction to this medication now, or that it will interact with what I'm already taking for the cough. Which is largely unfounded but I guess I'm not as over it as I thought. Yay. 

 

Yay for hearing back from prof - hope that leads to something more.... tangible happening on that front.

 

So if both medications are from the same place (I'm assuming the prescriptions are all from student health) and / or were filled at the same place, then there are a number of people who should be checking to make sure there aren't any interactions happening. But (if my non-medical medical advice means anything strep is normally treated with a 'cillin antibiotic (unless you are allergic) and if they gave you a cough syrup with codeine there shouldn't be any interactions. 

 

No matter what, I hope you have a wonderful relaxing day today!

[fleaball]

2 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

 

Yay for hearing back from prof - hope that leads to something more.... tangible happening on that front.

 

So if both medications are from the same place (I'm assuming the prescriptions are all from student health) and / or were filled at the same place, then there are a number of people who should be checking to make sure there aren't any interactions happening. But (if my non-medical medical advice means anything strep is normally treated with a 'cillin antibiotic (unless you are allergic) and if they gave you a cough syrup with codeine there shouldn't be any interactions. 

 

No matter what, I hope you have a wonderful relaxing day today!

Yeah, I have to go in and meet her next week because whatever my next assignment is involves something she actually has to give me? Idk. 

 

Everything is from student health and was all filled at the same pharmacy. I know they should all know it. But when the warning labels are like "YOU COULD POSSIBLY DIE" my brain takes off, no matter how small the chances are.  But I woke up this morning, so it's safe to assume there were no interactions.

 

Danke! Supernatural is definitely calling my name.

[fleaball]

Soooo sleeeeepyyyyyy. I didn't fall asleep until after 1.  Luckily this week is sort of light at work because most of my team is out of the country, but I still have shit to do. Like the group paper that's due on Thursday that I've barely touched because I suck. 

 

Speaking of sucking, research prof hasn't emailed me back after I replied to her asking when we can meet this week. Not surprising at all. Ugh. 

 

Is it Christmas break yet?

[Dagger]

50 minutes ago, fleaball said:

Speaking of sucking, research prof hasn't emailed me back after I replied to her asking when we can meet this week. Not surprising at all. Ugh. 

You'd start wondering if this prof even needed the help the way she's (not) asking for it...

[fleaball]

7 minutes ago, Dagger said:

You'd start wondering if this prof even needed the help the way she's (not) asking for it...

Honestly. Like the assignment she gave me eight weeks ago? Did she just forget that she wanted that done? I really shouldn't complain but I'd almost rather be doing more work for a different professor just so I wouldn't feel like I'm wasting my time. 

[fleaball]

After making my eyes bleed trying to read legal financial jargon earlier, I'm currently bouncing between writing a blog post for work and a paper for school. And I want to do neither. I also have a five-minute presentation in class tonight, which, ugh. Why. 

 

The other intern who's supposed to be here on Mondays isn't here. I hope I didn't infect here. (Doubtful since I haven't worked with her since Tuesday. But still.) 

 

Maaaaaaan three times I've started to write that I've decided to stop being down in myself for not exercising because of the clusterfuck this semester has turned out to be, and each time I've stopped and deleted it all because it still feels like I'm making lame excuses. Apparently I have not decided to stop being down on myself. Le sigh. 

[Countess D'If]

2 hours ago, fleaball said:

After making my eyes bleed trying to read legal financial jargon earlier

[Dagger]

2 hours ago, fleaball said:

Maaaaaaan three times I've started to write that I've decided to stop being down in myself for not exercising because of the clusterfuck this semester has turned out to be, and each time I've stopped and deleted it all because it still feels like I'm making lame excuses. Apparently I have not decided to stop being down on myself. Le sigh. 

Feel ya on this. Although sometimes actually posting it forces me to actually feel it, if even a little. So hopefully this confession helped?

[fleaball]

23 minutes ago, Dagger said:

Feel ya on this. Although sometimes actually posting it forces me to actually feel it, if even a little. So hopefully this confession helped?

It did. A bit. I think part of the problem is that I always feel the need to explain myself, so listing out all my reasons for "this is why it's okay" is what makes me feel like I'm making excuses. So yeah, just saying it the way I said it feels a little better. 

[fleaball]

Blaaaaaah there is a girl in my class who's cute and super sweet and we always wind up talking and ugh. I wish I were a functional human being. 

[Countess D'If]

4 minutes ago, fleaball said:

Blaaaaaah there is a girl in my class who's cute and super sweet and we always wind up talking and ugh. I wish I were a functional human being. 

Awwwww! Crushes are the best. 

[fleaball]

1 minute ago, Countess D'If said:

Awwwww! Crushes are the best. 

lol I'm not sure it's in crush territory just yet. Or hell it may be, because in the past I've always been the last person to realize I'm crushing on someone. Shit. 

[Countess D'If]

Flea and (girl whose name I don't know) sitting in a tree. . . K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!

[fleaball]

See but that's the thing. I don't know if I really like her or if this is just my brain going "holy shit a real life girl you think is cute!!?!" and just running away with it because it hasn't happened before? For all that I am equal opportunity, I also wonder sometimes if I might be somewhere on the ace spectrum? Maybe demi? Idk. None of the crushes I've had were remotely attractive, tbh, so that certainly wasn't the appeal. (Also one dude was a dick and I am constantly questioning that one in general, but I digress.) And in general I just don't notice people? I'm more likely to find people cute than hot, I never see it when people point out someone who's attractive (my roommate practically threw my phone at me when I disagreed with everyone she wanted to like on my Tinder), and even specific body parts I'm meh on? Tumblr lost their shit over these gifs because thighs!!!1! and asses!1!!! and my biggest concern was "why does an angel need help pushing a car?" I know everyone has different tastes and all that but there is a pattern here. 

 

 

 

 

 

Well that post took a fucking detour. No one wanted this confession, but you got it anyway. Happy Monday. Slash Tuesday. Slash wherever @Owlet is.

 

I should probably bring this up with my therapist. But while she's totally cool with not-straight people she's straight and doesn't always get it. Like, I'm 8000% okay with being queer, but that doesn't mean it's not frustrating as fuck trying to navigate whatever that might be. Shit's complicated. Also talking out loud about attractive people and/or sex-adjacent things makes me uncomfortable. Blaming my parents for that one. (Trufax the idea of actually having sex freaks me out too but I'm willing to bet that's more a combo of being allergic to intimacy and also "lol no one is seeing me naked, kthxbai.") 

 

Apologies if that was TMI. Although we're on page 38 and really no one should be surprised at this point. And now it's well past my bedtime so bye.

[Countess D'If]

See, and take this with an ocean of salt, because hi. . . I'm in Vegas. But I don't think your problem is that you're queer, I think your problem would exist if you were straight as an arrow, too. Because I think your problem is you've had it pounded into your head for so long that you're basically not worth it that now you're scared of rejection: bi, gay, straight. Allllllll the colors of the rainbow. So that's where this whole self deprecating façade came from.  I've known you for a couple of years and . . . That's my long distance diagnosis.

 

I love you and if I was closer, I would force you to be my partner in introverted crime. We would not do things together ALL the time.

[fleaball]

^ also true. And suddenly I'm like "shit, is it that obvious?" Womp. 

[NeverThatBored]

7 hours ago, fleaball said:

 

See but that's the thing. I don't know if I really like her or if this is just my brain going "holy shit a real life girl you think is cute!!?!" and just running away with it because it hasn't happened before?

 

I know this feel. I'm not sure if I've ever actually really had a CRUSH on someone even if I thought they were cute. But maybe it's the same thing and we're just making up an artificial distinction? 

 

3 hours ago, fleaball said:

^ also true. And suddenly I'm like "shit, is it that obvious?" Womp. 

 

Maaaaaaaybe

[fleaball]

33 minutes ago, NeverThatBored said:

I know this feel. I'm not sure if I've ever actually really had a CRUSH on someone even if I thought they were cute. But maybe it's the same thing and we're just making up an artificial distinction? 

I mean I've definitely had the butterflies, say stupid things, can't wait to hang out with them kind of crush and this is def not it. But maybe you're right. It probably doesn't have to be that feeling every time. 

[fleaball]

Holy Christ I'm so tired. I woke myself up at 4 with a coughing fit and even though I got back to sleep relatively quickly I am not awake right now. 

 

And I have to make the trek to school, in the opposite direction of my house, to see this research prof who still hasn't emailed me back. Why. 

[Sylvaa]

6 hours ago, Countess D'If said:

See, and take this with an ocean of salt, because hi. . . I'm in Vegas. But I don't think your problem is that you're queer, I think your problem would exist if you were straight as an arrow, too. Because I think your problem is you've had it pounded into your head for so long that you're basically not worth it that now you're scared of rejection: bi, gay, straight. Allllllll the colors of the rainbow. So that's where this whole self deprecating façade came from.  I've known you for a couple of years and . . . That's my long distance diagnosis.

 

I love you and if I was closer, I would force you to be my partner in introverted crime. We would not do things together ALL the time.

 

I'm going to add therapist talk - do you think the issue is that you don't feel you are worth an attractive partner; ergo, you can't notice "hot" people or any of that?

 

FWIW, I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with noticing more cute people than hot people. I think that fundamentally, you won't be "distracted" by their physically attributes... at least that's what I tell myself.

 

Also, the "no one should see me naked" fear is totally real. I'm married and still think that way. 

[fleaball]

11 minutes ago, Sylvaa said:

 

I'm going to add therapist talk - do you think the issue is that you don't feel you are worth an attractive partner; ergo, you can't notice "hot" people or any of that?

 

FWIW, I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with noticing more cute people than hot people. I think that fundamentally, you won't be "distracted" by their physically attributes... at least that's what I tell myself.

 

Also, the "no one should see me naked" fear is totally real. I'm married and still think that way. 

Honestly no. At least not consciously/that's never occurred to me as a thing to worry about. But it's an interesting thought. If it only happened with real people that would be one thing. But even with celebrities I don't see what other people see, and clearly I'm in no danger of dating a celebrity. 

 

Yeah there's that. I'm not really worried about it one way or the other, it's more a question of wanting answers and wanting to put a name to things. Like if I'm bi and just not currently interested in people, cool. If I happen to be ace I'm fine with that too, but I wish there were a magical way to know ~for sure~ because it would possibly change my approach to things? Not drastically but still. 

 

lol that makes me feel better. I'm pretty sure even if I woke up smoking hot tomorrow I'd still be like "um, no."

[Countess D'If]

*whispers* And that's ok, too!

[fleaball]

Uggggggh I'm reading through other people's contributions to the group paper and there's an entire page cut & pasted from a source?? We're in grad school. Why. I'm reasonably sure she was going to edit it later but I called her out it anyway because I like not getting expelled, thanks. 

[Dagger]

33 minutes ago, fleaball said:

Uggggggh I'm reading through other people's contributions to the group paper and there's an entire page cut & pasted from a source?? We're in grad school. Why. I'm reasonably sure she was going to edit it later but I called her out it anyway because I like not getting expelled, thanks. 

... ... ... As a teenager on their first paper after wikipedia came to exist, this might have been acceptable as in you don't get expelled or seriously reprimanded.

 

But even if she planned to rewrite it, why copy paste a page from a source in? At least, I always found that if I used too much of a source while writing I felt stifled instead of helped.

[fleaball]

12 minutes ago, Dagger said:

... ... ... As a teenager on their first paper after wikipedia came to exist, this might have been acceptable as in you don't get expelled or seriously reprimanded.

 

But even if she planned to rewrite it, why copy paste a page from a source in? At least, I always found that if I used too much of a source while writing I felt stifled instead of helped.

It's not an entire page from the source. It's various chunks that make up a full page of our paper. My bad for not being clear. Our paper is on depression though so a lot of it is statistics, lists of symptoms, etc. I do the same thing with cutting & pasting relevant information just so I have it in one place if I don't have time to write it right then. Which I why I'm hopeful about it. She did say she's working from home tomorrow so she has time to work on the paper so I think she IS going to fix it. 

 

Grad school. Ugh.