Morrigainz

I say it is a success! You made a plan, executed the plan, evaluated the plan, and changed it based on feedback. And there is nothing wrong or fail-y about that!

Thanks, yo!!! It's totally cool to say you are proud of me. I am proud of you too! Just read your challenge wrap-up. Hooray for all the good things! And yes you can feel like you miss nerdette vaca because it's almost like you were there. <3 As far as the void, it's not like I want more THINGS. I do want more people, and to find a way to balance the people/husband dichotomy (and yes, it's a dichotomy). But it's more a desire to do something of value, I think. It may be overreaching to say I want to leave my mark on the world, but there are so many causes that are important to me that I feel like I could contribute to. I'm definitely going to think about it for a minute (and explore with my therapist). It may have to wait a little while though, since the house stuff has really been my focus for the past couple of weeks. As far as that goes, we are looking at places but have not yet contacted a buyers' agent because we haven't decided if we really want to go through with it. Also, the mortgage guy that Mr Mir met with last week wanted my college transcripts (????) which is just weird. So I have a couple other lenders I want to contact.

Yup, you're amazing.

Bwahahahaha to all of this. <3

Looks like things are on track for you still So glad to see this!

I MIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Yup. I was 152.8 lbs on Thursday, I think, and 154.6 lbs this morning. Don't sweat it. Drink more water. You will be fine Remember that to actually gain that much weight, you would have had to eat 12,250 calories MORE than your maintenance level over the weekend. I HIGHLY doubt that happened.

HOT DAMN!

Yes! My PT told me that progress isn't linear, even though you want it to be! So I totally understand being frustrated, but hang in there!!! I think you are doing great. As far as S, oof. I have an acquaintance like that - I'm not sure if you remember me talking about how I was assaulted last year, but that's the guy. And now they're getting married. Why????? I NEVER see her anymore, and from what I hear she's totally miserable. BUT, I don't know her well enough to say anything. I wonder what it would be like if you said, "S, I heard you feel excluded and like we're picking on you a lot lately, and I just wanted to know what you meant/how you are feeling so we can talk about it." Unless it's a big deal that someone told you that, I think that would be a good non-judgemental place to start from, so that hopefully you could actually understand what's going on with her. Plus, instead of being confrontational or about you guys, which can be offputting when you're trying to have a difficult conversation, it makes it more about her and approaches the situation from a fixing-it point of view.

I WUB HIM!!!!

I approve of this post.

And now you need to come see a Mir and meet a Mr. Mir.

You're amazing. I think you did great on your challenge. And the job stuff is huge and scary. I know sometimes I make a goal to "do XXXXXX thing" and then there's clearly work I need to do before actually doing that thing. Let me know if I can help. I'm a good sounding board. <3

Hey sexay ladaaaaaaaay.

Hooray for da UP, eh? I hope you're having all sorts of fun! I didn't do a ton of hiking in the UP, but I hope to at some point. Let me know where you are/were, 'cause I'm sure I'll wanna go!

I saw your pic on FB! Great job you guys. Did you have so much fun? I loved the WD I did last year. Also, nesting is TOTALLY a thing.

Hey, sorry I haven't been around the last few days. You have had a greeeeeeeeeeeeat challenge! Congrats on the BW DL!!! YEAHHHHH

Okay, so. This is the end, right? Yes. It's the end. I had a GREAT weekend with some nerdettes - and - wait for it - I MADE IT TO WORK TODAY DESPITE NOT GETTING HOME UNTIL ALMOST 7 PM LAST NIGHT AND BEING UTTERLY EXHAUSTED TODAY. So, basically, I'm awesome. Work has been much better last week. On the advice of a friend, I've tried to start working BEFORE I take the Adderall, so then when it kicks in I don't get focused on whatever non-work task I've been doing. BUT, I do have a lot going on right now - the house stuff, the Japan stuff, other miscellaneous stuff I keep needing to take care of - that has been distracting me. And since I've been so busy cleaning the house at night, all of that stuff has been taking place during the day. Which I'm sort of ok with, because the huge looming deadline that was coming up next month is no longer coming up until early 2015. So challenge wrap up. No zero days: I think I had one? Or a day that was almost a zero day. I'll have to do some reflection on that when my mind is less of a sleepy blur. But overall, I was very pleased, especially given that my stress level has been a bit higher than normal, and I've really stepped up to the challenge instead of shutting down and/or falling apart. 3 Mes: thinking about future and past me has definitely helped my mindset. Towards the middle/end of the challenge, I for sure got better about keeping my future self in mind when present me didn't want to do something. Forgiveness: I always found something to forgive myself for. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe I was nitpicking and that made me focus more on the "bad" things I was doing. I also felt like I gave it a lot of lip service. This could also be because, for the most part, I didn't feel like I did (or did NOT) anything so terrible that I needed forgiveness for it. But it's a great thing to remember because we all know how much I like to beat myself up. Exercise and books: started out great, definitely fizzled at the end. Partly because of actually focusing at work (and thus skipping lunches) and being busy doing house stuff. So I'm mostly ok with it, although it's been 2 weeks since I lifted and I'm not sure I'm going to this week either because we have a few houses we want to look at and I'm going to try to get an appointment with a couple of lenders. That's all for now. I have to do more pondering on how I'm going to move forward from here. Also! Worth mentioning. I feel like something is missing. From my life. I'm not sure what it is, but my therapist mentioned feeling like there was a "void" in my life. I'm not sure if I'm just glomming on to what she said or if I actually feel like I need something more. But on the drive home last night I was thinking about how it would be nice to make a DIFFERENCE with my life. But of course being all sorts of ADD, I have so many things I'm interested in, and I would have no idea how to pick one thing to make a difference with. Maybe that will be a challenge goal for next time I MISS MY NERDETTES

Yeah. I mean I don't think people want to buy a crack house. So I had to clean shit up. So sad. Byebye crack So I haven't been around on ANYONE'S thread the last few days - sorry! I have (for the most part) been AMAZINGLY focused on stuff. Yesterday I actually put in quite a lot of work at work. Like, I took small mental breaks, but I actually worked the majority of the day. It was actually quite frustrating because I'm working on ONE report that won't format right. It took me an entire day plus some to format ONE tab of six. Grrrr. Other stuff...there hasn't been exercise. I've been working through lunches. Hopefully next week, even though the challenge will totes be over. Books, no, but I did flip through my flash cards the other day so that's something. House stuff - met with the realtor; she suggested a listing price that was lower than I was hoping but about what I expected. Mr Mir is going to talk to a loan person tomorrow to talk about options. It may yet end up that we don't do anything until next year (which was the original plan anyway). I'll be disappointed for sure, but also can take a step back and view this last couple weeks as kind of a trial run. PLUS we got the house super cleaned up, so it won't get that bad again. We were actually talking last night about how I've really taken the lead on this project (looking, scheduling appts, cleaning, organizing, planning) and how Mr Mir really appreciated it because he is so busy at work. Anyway. So things are going well. No zeroes for sure, and not a lot to forgive myself for (okay, maybe having that cigarette and pissing off Mr Mir on Saturday). I also haven't needed the "future me" thinking in a while. I think going forward I will be mindful of this and try to keep it in future challenges in some form, but the way I am feeling right now, I don't need to make an entire challenge out of it like I did last time. There are definitely things I need to improve on. I am well aware, and I am trying. Like getting my ass into the gym consistently. But I forgive myself for that (!!!) because my back's been bothering me plus actually trying to get shit done at work. TL;DR: happy, productive Mir is happy and productive.

Yes. Hahaha. Also I may have just given away your bowls. But I assume after 10 years or so you're not really going to miss them. Okay. So. Busy weekend. Lots of trying to get the house together and cleaned up, Mo Pop festival on Saturday which was super fun until all of a sudden it wasn't, so I had some cake and went to bed. Yesterday was mostly spent cleaning up the crack in the basement wall. I'll post some blurry before and after pics in a bit. We also drove around and looked at houses to buy, because we've both come to the conclusion that it's stupid for us to look at renting when we could buy for cheaper. The one place we looked at that's really a possibility (enough room to store all [or at least most] of our stuff, in a decent area, etc) was $1750 a month. We can probably get a house for $1000-$1200 a month. Add taxes on top of that, and it'll probably be the same price as a rental, and we can get a LOT more house. So we'll see! Realtor comes back tonight. Definitely no zeroes this weekend. No books really, but I'm counting my moving and packing and scraping and carrying boxes as exercise. So there. Also! Strangely did not have trouble getting out of bed this morning. And it's Monday!

Omg. Yes. Don't feel like updating today. Still looking at houses. Have a busy weekend planned. Mo Pop festival tomorrow, lots of housework Sunday. That's all I have planned! I haven't been exercising or booking. Oof.

Okay, so yesterday. I got a little work done, but not a lot. I spent most of the workday looking at apartments and houses. It was bad....mind totally down the rabbit hole. I'm trying to do better today, but I forgot my password for something I was supposed to do and no one has gotten back with what it's supposed to be yet. Hopefully when that happens, I can pull myself together enough to actually do work. Had dinner at a place called MEAT last night (yes, the caps were necessary) for Mr Mir's birthday, and it was glorious. I basically went home and passed out in a meat coma for the rest of the night and managed a decent amount of sleep. I have a few places to call apartment-wise, but we have a TON of work to do before the realtor comes back Monday. Mostly cleaning and minor repair, but it's still STUFF. And who knows - after all this, we might not even decide to list it, depending on how much she thinks we can sell it for. Anyway that's basically my life right now My exercise for yesterday was walking to and from MEAT. And actually, it may have been a mile each way, so it totally counts.

Yeah, so, it was good, but obviously really overwhelming. We don't have a ton of work to do, but there's enough, and the realtor is coming back Monday to talk potential pricing and take pictures if we decide to go ahead. So, yes. Overwhelming tasks are overwhelming. However, she did seem optimistic about our chances of selling, and selling at a good price. Of course, we haven't for sure decided on a place, and then of course today I've started looking at places to buy instead of rent (even though we don't reeeeeeeeeeeally have enough for a down payment), and there are some really, really good deals. Anyway. I tried to do some work this morning, but my mind is so far down the rabbit hole right now, I don't know how it's ever going to get out. Oh yeah. Also still not sleeping. Also not focused really. Well, maybe on the house stuff. So not sure if I should experiment with doubling the Adderall dose (which dr said he would be ok with) or wait. I will probably wait, because it hasn't yet been a week. Also I don't want to have MORE trouble sleeping.

Holy shit dude. We're gonna need some before and after leg shots.

The swole is strong in this one.