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Sometimes things are a lot. This year so far has definitely been that. Illness, extended lockdown rules, isolation, work stress, body image issues, relationship insecurity, more illness, more lockdown, and topped off by the sudden death of a friend. I mean, that all sounds pretty awful, but I want to point out there has been a lot of good also, and many of these issues are being worked on. This challenge is basically about maintaining a steady level of functionality and good quality of life whilst making major changes and working on issues before they turn into major disasters. Simple, right? Maybe. Guideline One: Gotta Eat Eating is essential to life, funnily enough. Skipping meals is not a good habit to be falling back into, and unfortunately it's something I've realised that I'm doing more and more. It has a noticeable physical impact. Also not good. So: I am a person who eats in the morning, after coffee, of course! I am a person who eats in the afternoon and evening. I am a person who eats when they are hungry. I am a person who recognises not eating is self-destructive. Guideline Two: A Little Vanity Helps the Sanity Fairly self-explanatory, I need to keep on top of my self-care. This also is sliding, and it is likely because I rarely leave the flat for reasons other than work. Also not good. I am a person who recognises that they feel better when they take proper care of themselves. Guideline Three: Movement For the Soul As mentioned above, there is some difficulty in leaving my flat right now. That needs nipped in the bud. I am a person who feels at home in nature. I am a person that enjoys walking. I am a person comfortable in almost all weathers. Guideline Four: Creation I'm not saying D&D has been a lifeline, but... D&D has been a lifeline. I am a player in one campaign, my wonderful Sunday group, and I've found that I am getting into the roleplay side of things far more than I expected. It's been great fun developing my angry dwarf! I also run a small campaign where I'm getting to stretch my roleplay antics and try new things, and I am thoroughly enjoying the worldbuilding aspect of it. It's at the point where I'm considering creating a PbP too... I am a person who revels in creative work. I am a person who actively makes time for creative work, but does not let it consume everything. I am a person who enjoys trying new things. I am a person who wants to share my creations. I am a person who enjoys the social aspect of that sharing. So I've got no actual goals, but that's just fine with me. Goals can come once I know the general shape my life is going to take once these decisions have been made and the dust begins to settle. Goals can be made when I know I'm in a stable enough place to put in the extra work to achieve them. I did debate coming back here, but eventually decided it was for the better that I did, even with a kind of non-challenge. I like it here, and the extra accountability is essential right now.

Hey guys! This is going to be a very soft challenge, as I'm not setting any major goals (I have goals, but I'm not going to feel too bad if they don't happen), and using this space more like a battle log to chat about my day, what I'm learning and how I'm doing. As many of you know, my mental health has been up and down over the past year, and while I feel much more in control of myself and my moods after many months of hard work and learning about myself, I'm still taking some time to go gently and try to regain some ease and creativity instead of being constantly in "Oh my gosh I have to fix this so it goes away" mode. To that end, I've decided to step down from my responsibilities as a guild leader for a little while. ❤️ I do not intend for this to be permanent; but with most of my energy going to getting through the day and trying to take care of myself, I didn't have much steam left over to look in on others as much as I want to. Letting go of the pressure to do better at checking in on everyone will, ironically, make it easier for me to check in more often. And I hope to be back on the GL list before long. My goals for this challenge are: Work with my therapist on specific affirmations, grounding actions, etc. to help me focus on living my life in spite of anxiety, shifting my attention away from focusing 24/7 on "fixing" my anxiety and toward being myself and doing things I enjoy. Continue to follow my nutritionist's diet plan, while experimenting with ways to bring my favorite foods and dishes back into the rotation. Do one creative thing every day. It can be so small - just a few crochet stitches, coloring a coloring page, writing a vignette, baking something, it doesn't matter. Just one thing to create or produce each day, outside of work. Move my body every day. I want to finish Yoga with Adriene's BREATH series, and I've been taking short jogs and long walks outside when I can. I need to keep doing that, because it really feels good. Get in bed by midnight every night, even if I don't go to sleep or put my phone down right away. A few things I'm looking forward to this month are Valentine's Day (my first ever!! Valentine's Day!! with a real date!! and not an awkward get-to-know-you date but my beloved boyfriend!!), getting back into D&D after missing a few sessions, planning my balcony garden and starting to gather supplies, and thinking ahead to a COVID-safe visit with my family in the spring. It's 12:30AM so I need to head for bed! ❤️ So looking forward to seeing what everyone is thinking about and planning for this challenge!

Sooo holiday vacation was MUCH needed. I mentioned in a previous thread if unplugging from responsibility for most of the break didn't reset my brain I would pull in a pro but it seems to have been the reset I needed despite the Roof Issue (which has been dealt with). This month's challenge is going to be around cleaning up, both literally and figuratively. Splitting into 3 areas: 1. Cleaning up and crafting my habitat So if I don't have ADHD, I at least have a lot of ADHD traits. My sister got diagnosed because she was more classic ADHDer in that she struggled in school - for me everything was chalked up to one part micropreemie and one part gifted kids are weird. One of the ways my symptoms manifest is in a huge difficulty maintaining my space. That tends to be a bad feedback loop for me so I am once again looking for a system that will let me actually keep my space clean. But first things first: I need to dig out of my mess, which I started today with a 6-hour power cleaning of my kitchen (and my partner, who has similar issues with me around keeping things tidy for different reasons helped with power decluttering of a couple other rooms). That's the focus of this challenge: get my space sanitary and down to a functional level of clutter. 2. Clean up my eating habits. Last fall when my mental health started to slide I let my eating go and it's showing on the scale. Lost all my progress since I hurt my back. So healthy food and keeping healthy food on hand and keeping junk food to Sunday game day only. 3. Clean up my Kata and training. Because I am carrying more weight my Kata are affected because my balance and size are different. I need to tidy up my technique.

Stagnation is Death Annals of a Bladesinger A haunting melody weaves its way through the quiet forest. An alien in her homeland with a mind touched by the hand of darkness, the elven wizard hones her dangerous dance, ever vigilant, ever mindful. She practices her art not just for the protection of her people, but to soothe her tormented soul with the meditative, otherworldly whistle of bladesong. Journey to Bladesinger Master 2020 Stats: STR 10 || DEX 11 || CON 11 || INT 15 || WIS 16 || CHA 12 2020 Level: Bladesinger Apprentice Goal Stats: STR 14 || DEX 17+ || CON 14 || INT 18+ || WIS 18+ || CHA 14 Goal Level: Bladesinger Master Bladesinger Apprentice - Trains under a Master. Must demonstrate above-average intelligence, and wisdom to be accepted into training for a wizard, must show some promise in dexterity to be accepted by a bladesinger master. STR 8 || DEX 10 || CON 8 || INT 14 || WIS 14 || CHA 8 Bladesinger Knight - Able to train and fight independently. Must demonstrate above-average mastery of dexterity, and very high intelligence, and wisdom. Strength, constitution, and charisma must be high enough as to not impede progress. STR 12 || DEX 14 || CON 12 || INT 16 || WIS 16 || CHA 11 Bladesinger Master - Can train an Apprentice. Demonstrates exceptional abilities in dexterity, intelligence, and wisdom. Above-average abilities in strength, constitution, and charisma are required to perform at this level. Goal Stats: STR 14 || DEX 17+ || CON 14 || INT 18+ || WIS 18+ || CHA 14 Bladesinger Leader - Can serve as leader to other Master roles. Demonstrates all the abilities of a Bladesinger Master, with higher charisma for leadership qualities. Goal Stats: STR 14 || DEX 17+ || CON 14 || INT 18+ || WIS 18+ || CHA 17 How to Level Scores based on max 20 system, current list only filled to requirements for mastery from current stats, does not include information prior to or past current and master stats Strength (STR) - Calisthenics and Iron STR 11: Plank 1min, 4x13 Pushups, 4x25 Crunches, 30/20 bodyweight squats, 2x20 tricep dips, 2x30 one-leg calf-raises STR 12: Plank 2min, 3x15 Pushups, 3x30 Crunches, 2x40 15lbs one-leg calf-raises, DB Bench 30lbs, DB Squat 50lbs, Deadlift 40lbs STR 13: Plank 3min, 3x20 Pushups, DB Bench 40, DB Squat 60lbs , Plank 3min, DB Deadlift 60 STR 14: DB Bench 60, DB Squat 75lbs , Plank 4min, DB Deadlift 80 STR 15: DB Bench 90lbs, DB Squat 100lbs, Plank 5min, DB Deadlift 100 Dexterity (DEX) - Flexibility, Agility, Balance, Coordination DEX 12: Eagle pose, Warrior III, Hands flat on floor in waist bend, Baby Crow pose DEX 13: Front and side splits, Crow pose, complete NF Yoga DEX 14: Crane pose, Wall handstand (1min), start martial art or agility training DEX: 15: Flying crow pose, 8-angle pose, dragonfly pose, unassisted handstand (1min+), 1 year of martial arts training DEX 16: Level 5: Dophin Push Up Challenge DEX 17: Black belt in a martial art DEX 18: 3rd degree black belt in martial art AND first degree black belt is second martial art Constitution (CON) - Stamina, Endurance CON 12: Complete a 5k in under 45 min CON 13: Complete a 5k in under 35 min CON 14: Complete a 5 mile run in under 60 min CON 15: Complete a 10k run in under 60 min Intelligence (INT) - Academia and Language INT 16: Personal Trainer Cert AND Health Coach Cert INT 17: Complete a Master's Degree program AND reading intermediate reading level for 2 forgeign languages INT 18: Complete a PhD INT 19: Research published in 5+ academic journals INT 20: Research published in textbooks and taught in classrooms Wisdom (WIS) - Generativity, Activism, Social/Environmental Awareness +Be a founding member or leader in a non-profit organization +1 Teach a skill to at least 10 people (OR) mentor at least 10 people +Teach a college course +Create a college or arts scholarship fund +Convert >90% of Beauty, Cleaning, and Meal Prep products to reusable/recycleable/eco-friendly Charisma (CHA) - Leadership, Social, Performance, Confidence CHA 13: Perform a leading role in a community/unpaid show (OR) 1k sub on social (OR) Manager 1+ employees (OR) Promote to SR/Lead position CHA 14: Perform as a supporting role in a paid performance (OR) direct a community show (OR) Manage 10+ employee team CHA 15: Perform as a leading role in a paid performance (OR) release a music album (OR) 10k subs on social (OR) Manage 50+ employee team CHA 16: Publish best-seller (OR) 10k subs to a blog (OR) 100k subs to social (OR) Run a business of 100+ employees CHA 17: Performance award (OR) 100k subs to personal blog (OR) 1mil subs to social (OR) CEO of 1,000+ employee business

Ok gang, here's the deal. My brain is a dumpster fire, I don't actually want to do a challenge, in fact I have a burning desire to press the big, shiny, red button and self destruct. Since my christmas wish of a boatload of drugs was not granted by santa, I guess I'll have to find a different way to cope. Here's the challenge. I will attempt one act of self care each day. Can be anything as long as it's met with resistance and away from the dark side. If that goes well enough I'll add in the additional categories of eating foods with a vegetable and moving my butt. Maybe. I wish I had more to offer but alas I've fallen a long way.

[SOMEDAY IS TODAY] They drifted across a vast landscape. Directly below, stretching endlessly outwards in almost every direction, was a forest of the like they had never seen. Immense trees with impossibly thick, red barked trunks reached up towards the sky, deep green canopies spreading below the blazing might of two suns. Below, though not so far as to be called small, other canopies reached up with many hands. Some were broad leafed and fluttered in the light breeze, some were sharp, like needles, and some were narrow. It was impossible to put a name to every shade of green the leaves showcased, or every shade of brown prevalent on the trunks. In one direction, opposite the twin suns, far away enough to be faint, yet large enough at a distance that they must indeed be true giants, a mountain range rode the horizon. White capped, grey and purple flanked, and entirely unlike anything they had ever seen before. "This age has passed." The deep bass rumble sounded more like an earthquake than a person. "This age is yet to come." They frowned, opening their mouth- -a hoarse, pained grunt escaped them, quickly followed by a low moan of pain. Colours blazed before their eyes as dizziness swept across them, though they quickly receded. Yeti lay still, shivering, blinking back stinging tears of pain. When they could see clearly, it was to realise that they were staring up at a roughly hewn ceiling, one entirely unfamiliar to them. Slowly, carefully, frowning as they did so, they turned their head to look around. They weren't in the alcove. They were in a grey room that looked as though it had been upended. Every cupboard door had been left open, the contents spilled across floor and work surfaces alike. One wooden chair sat against the wall, two others were on their sides in the middle of the mess. Dried puddles of blood littered the floor. They frowned. Dull pain rippled across their forehead. Vague memories of stumbling into the room surfaced, of desperately searching for something to stop the bleeding, stop the pain. It seemed like they'd managed, but not with any degree of finesse. Looking down, they saw they'd managed to bind their left knee and that the bleeding had indeed stopped. It might have been better, however, if they'd managed to use some actual bandaging instead of what seemed to be the bedspread. Yeti sighed, then winced as that brought a bubble of pain. Broken ribs. Perfect. They felt their chest carefully, but couldn't find anything beyond the mass of mottled black and purple bruising. Maybe that was good, maybe that was bad. They didn't know. So they began to move, slowly, carefully, inch by inch, until they sat slumped against the wall, shivering and panting. "Birds?" The word escaped in a plaintive, broken voice. Choked and hoarse, wavering with unshed tears. Nothing answered their question, and there was no sign of either fallen feathers or whitish scat to indicate that they'd even been inside. The irritating, overly loud, and oddly faithful companions had gone. With that thought, the tears finally began to fall.

The morning was still and sharp with frost as the cold yellow light of dawn began to trickle through the bare trees, illuminating the campsite where I hunched over my flickering lantern. On the makeshift table in front of me, I had arranged the materials I would need for my task: Light steel from my home in Middle Earth, solid iron from Temple Island, woven straps from Ciena the Healer, soft leather pieces shared by Eamon, Ayre, Amethyst, and the Bearded Ranger. I had never done anything like this before, but I took a deep breath and flexed my fingers lightly. It was time to give it a try. My ice powers had continued to grow inside me - sometimes clenching my body tight with acute pain, more often dulling my senses with their persistent low hiss of crackling cold and fear, they had become increasingly present in my consciousness to the point that I saw the world through fearful eyes as often as I did through my own. My stripe of white hair was spreading and lightening the rest of my hair; my skin grew translucent, the runes had lost their graceful definition and become more jagged, more fractured. I had lost so much of my power and my world had shrunk to the size of my own mind. Day by day, I was becoming more Eldarwen, and less Sky. I lightly ran my fingertips across each piece of metal, feeling their contour, their unique timbre and shape. Each one represented a lesson I had learned, knowledge I had gained, truths that could protect me or power that could guide me. The straps from Ciena were the tools and truths that bound all that together. And the soft leather from the friends who loved me best would protect me from the cold surface of the metal, reminding me I was safe, supported and loved. The bracers I was about to make were not meant to simply strengthen an arrow shot - these were the tools and knowledge I needed to bring me back to myself. These bracers would protect my ragged, raw wrists and arms, allowing my runes to begin to heal and keeping me strong when the ice flooded my veins. Not long ago, I had begun to heal by shattering the supports I no longer needed - but that healing needed to continue by shoring myself up with support and protection once again. The sun had just let go of the horizon as I lifted my hands over the pieces of metal and summoned my healing and light powers from deep in my belly. It was harder these days to find the light in myself - but it rose to meet my call today, flowing warm and sweet down my arms, appearing in the air before me as I began to stitch the pieces together. Only love could make these what they needed to be - the icy chill of self-punishment would not do. The edges of the metal pieces began to melt and fuse together, as I wove strand after strand of light through the air, grafting and molding them into place. I was aware of Eamon entering the camp as I worked, but I did not speak, and he paused a respectful distance away from the table, watching as I completed the first bracer and began to pull the second together. Knowledge to fight or deflect the Voice, wisdom on how to care for my body, the knowledge of who I was and who I wanted to be - a dozen lessons blended together as I molded and shaped the metal. At the end, I carefully lifted each one into the air and etched on its surface the familiar scrolling vines of the Silver Bow. These bracers would not dampen my power - rather, they would help me channel it. The sun was fully up as I set the second bracer down and drew a long breath, tired but satisfied. They were a strange conglomeration of colors and textures, but the lines from the Silver Bow tied them all together. Eamon approached the table as he saw me sag against it, gently touching one of my hands. "I saw what you were doing, but didn't want to interrupt you - these are beautiful and I'm so proud of you." "Thanks." I looked up and grinned at him, breathing heavily. "I'm pretty proud of myself too. These are good work. And they'll help me get stronger again." "You're already stronger than you think. But I'm glad you're doing what you need to do to support yourself until you feel strong again. May I help you put them on?" "Yes, please, that would be much appreciated." I stretched out my trembling hands and he gently fitted the bracers over them, carefully tying the soft leather straps over the bruised, raw runes on my wrists. They fit snugly and softly against my skin. Smiling a little, I lifted my hands and summoned my healing powers once again; and the scrollwork on the bracers lit up, surrounding my weakened arms with warmth and light. The Silver Archer would return to her full strength one day. With help and knowledge from my past, I would be strong enough to become myself once again in the future.

PREVIOUSLY... Down-on-their-luck Yeti ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time, forcing them to flee their home and everything they'd known. After passing out in a drifting row boat, they wake to find that they seem to be very, very far from home. Desperate, they trekked into a nearby boulder field. In that place they came across what appeared to be a shrine to one of the old gods, and in that shrine found food and equipment to keep them alive as recovered and planned their next move. In the end, they decided to go to a place marked on the map that had the potential to be another shrine in the hopes that maybe a similar supply cache would be hidden there. However, getting there may prove to be a problem... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [SLOW AND STEADY] An explosive exhale left Yeti as they slipped again, knee impacting on the wet rock, shoulder slamming into the side of the chokepoint. A white hot flare of pain lit their knee for a few long moments before settling into a dull, thudding pain that beat in time with the rhythm set by their shoulder, back, and ankles. At least this time they hadn't bitten their tongue. Yeti struggled upright and looked down, wincing when they realised how little progress they'd made. Grimacing when they realised just how far they had to go. The map had been useful for pinpointing water sources. It had been useful for locating the larger masses of rock. What it did not over, however, was the intricacies of the passages between the boulders, that they sometimes turned into deep gorges, and that some had massive rockfalls blocking them. Whether they had happened before or after the map had been made, they didn't know. Likely after, but they had to focus their anger on something other than themselves. Anger at the unknown mapmaker brought with it a certain level of bitter spite, and it was that which kept Yeti moving even when the going became perilous. This rockfall in particular had caused many problems. Somewhere above there had to be a water source, one not marked on the map. The pebbles at ground level remained fairly dry, but the higher they climbed, the slicker the rocks became. Moss morphed into sludge, forming innocuous looking clumps that, when trod upon, would offer no purchase and send a foot shooting out from underneath the unwary climber. Yeti had run afoul of the stuff twice before figuring out what had happened. Unfortunately it wasn't easy to avoid. They reached up, fingers traversing the unseen rock beyond the ledge immediately above them, searching for a good hold. It took some time and a good deal of test pulls before they were comfortable with one patch in particular. Then came the task of finding somewhere to place their foot without risking another fall. Yeti had found, with no small measure of amusement, that their holey shoes were ideally suited for such a task. It was easier to find good surface with an exposed toe, and better to brace and push with the sole of the shoe. Whether or not they would survive such punishment remained doubtful. Before long grunts, groans, and growls of effort accompanied every movement. Not long after that the stream of cursing began. As the daylight began to dim, Yeti, panting, gasping for breath, slick with sweat, blood, and slimy moss, reached the apex of the rockfall. For a moment a broad grin crossed their face as a giddy feeling of victory swept through them. When it became very real dizziness, they began moving again, slowly, carefully. Though they'd assumed the way down would be easier, that didn't turn out to be the case. Now, with the fading light, they found their heart racing as they tried to pick their way down the rockfall, toeing the line between fast enough to get down before nightfall and slow enough to avoid falling the rest of the way down. They'd spied what looked like an overhang not too far from the foot of the fall. It would be a sheltered, semi-safe place to spend the night if they could get to it. Otherwise it would be a night spent out in the open, pressed in against the rocks, shivering with cold, hoping nothing came looking for supper. The mountain fear spurred them onwards, sharpening their senses to fever pitch. Every skitter of the debris they dislodged against the rock made their gut lurch, every shadow they saw out of the corner of their eye seemed to move in unnatural ways. Their hands began to shake. They tried to keep control, but when they realised they were moving faster and faster, more recklessly than was safe, the panic only spurred them to move faster still. It was with unsteady legs and growing nausea in their gut that they leaped the last few feet down, landing in a sprawled heap, shaken but unhurt. The dash towards the overhang almost saw them fall again, but they were able to get there, to duck under the reassuringly solid rock and nestle up against the main boulder, out of sight, or so they hoped. Removing the sleeping bag proved tricky, but eventually they managed, wrapping themselves in it tightly before breathing a shaky sigh of relief. Mere moments later the calm that had begun to descend turned to ice in their chest. Skittering came from outside. Not random, but rhythmic. The sound of many feet dashing across the pebbled ground. Though it was distant enough not to be an immediate threat, still Yeti remained clutched in the grip of fear. Somewhere out there an insect hunted.

There is my scoring system. Now I need things to score. This is difficult, because I'm tired of long lists, but they're so useful for providing reminders through the day. And because lately my challenges have had to do a lot of adapting. So I think this will be a hybrid system, which I will test drive during zero week. I will score what I have done on a naughty/nice axis in a "be mindful of my needs and choices" kind of thing, and set a small number of goals each week. During zero week, let's try: Make a list and check it twice Hogswatch cheer Walking in a winter wonderland Right. First set of challenge goals.

It's been a minute, and the world has changed quite a bit in 2020. I'm here and I'm well. Numbtongue's Language Lessons I'm in an odd place with linguistics, between covid stealing some of my spoons and me being happy in an unprecedented way, language study fell in my priority list over the last 4 months. This challenge is part of finishing 2020 with a daily German news and duolingo habit. 2021 has me adding French again, and slowly working on my Icelandic vocab, but for now this challenge is about daily success with my old workhorse friend, Deutsch. Grimalkin's Cruel Tutelage This project is to set end of year targets for the big four lifts, and hit my mid quarter goals by end of challenge. Garden of Sanctuary This project is to track minutes per day spent in sitting practice. For this challenge, I'm only counting minutes spent in seated meditation or prostrate in seid-work; sleepily drifting while I'm in bed at night doesn't count, nor does sneakily counting yoga time. The larger goal is to grow my practice, but I'm not setting target metrics yet, just tracking. Octavia's Workbench I have a few backlogged orders for mediation beads and percussion instruments I'm behind on. This goal is to log what projects I have outstanding, get them all completed and mailed before holiday shipping craziness locks everything down. Olesm's Chess Journal I'm playing a few tabletops via video call during covid. A dear friend is running a small forgotten realms 5e heroic tier, and I'm running a Dresden RPG campaign set in milwaukee. Expect to hear nonsense about either campaigns in this section.

[STORY PLACEHOLDER]

Hello Friends and Nerds! I'm annyshay. I'm an adventurer at heart, and I'm going to spend this challenge with the druids. I'm finally starting to see the end of a long, deep depression, so I am prioritizing my mental health. I'm working to maintain my current habits and expand the last one. Mindset Pack - every morning - meditate - joy journaling - intention mantra Compassion - at least once per day show compassion to my inner child Drop into Body - every evening Allons-y!

Last challenge got a little derailed by some rather intense fatigue issues, among other things, so this challenge is essentially going to be something of a repeat now that those fatigue issues are being dealt with and my life is somewhat more stable. I'm not aiming for the stars, not even close, I'm aiming for the second rung of the ladder. One step at a time and all that. In a way I'm quite lucky, this challenge will officially kick off right when I get a week off of work, so I'll have time and space to implement these changes and enough time to build up some momentum to carry it all on when I do get back into it. So here we go: One: The Continuous 5km 2x5km runs weekly These will happen on the days I am not working given that my commute involves six miles of walking. I enjoy it, but right now I am not at the stage where I can do that and put proper focus on a run in the same day. Depending on how the fatigue management goes, I may take to running in the evening rather than first thing in the morning. Two: Movement 10mins of movement immediately after getting up Right now that seems like a far more manageable goal than the one I had previously. Movement can be yoga, primal, tai chi, anything that helps me shake off the sleep and get myself ready for the day ahead. Three: The Elusive Pull-up 2x workouts weekly It won't happen this year, but I am determined it will happen next year. And for it to happen I need to lay the groundwork. Having a definite goal makes it easier to run, so I'm finally applying the same principle here. It doesn't change all that much about my workouts, just shifts the focus slightly and gives me some solid motivation. Four: The Sugar Demon Cut the sugary junk cold turkey Protein shake every morning 2.5l water daily Cold turkey worked very well for me the last time I tried it in conjunction with giving up the sugary junk that kept slipping into my diet, so here I am again. I will not eat chocolate, cake, sweets, or anything of the sort for the duration of this challenge. I am prepared for the withdrawal symptoms and know I can push through them. I know I will feel better once it's all out of my system. Five: Everything Else Daily creative time (sketching/knitting/guitar) Finish the bedroom (paint, put the mirror up, fix the curtain rail) Daily learning (Duolingo and CoE course) This list is always going to be subject to change, but these are the main things I wish to focus on at the moment and the things I want to figure out how to integrate properly into my life once again. And there we have it. Zero week will be a warm-up of sorts. Some elements of this challenge will be introduced during the week so I can start to form a picture of how it will work and whether or not I'll need to make some last minute changes. Though really, if at any point it needs to change, it will. I'm trying very hard to let go of stubbornly sticking to a goal just for the sake of it. Flexibility, and indeed adaptability, is the way forward for me.

Deep, deep in the darkest and most overgrown part of the forest, where fallen logs created elaborate spiral staircases and hollow riverbeds formed meandering paths into unseen gathering places, I sat quietly on a flat stone, for once not caring as the damp air froze into a lightly drifting snow around me. Even when I was alone with Soji in my cottage, I felt the need to suppress Eldarwen, to keep my moods under control as best I could. But out here, where no one but squirrels and birds could see, I was simply myself, not thinking or processing, just being. The humid air froze around me, a light frost covered the leaves and fallen trees, and I didn't mind. It was a hot day; they would thaw as soon as I was gone. "You may have weathered the last storm of emotion," I heard my counselor's voice in my head as I lightly traced frosty spirals on the surface of the rock, "but others will be coming. My job is to help you not get sucked under and half-drowned every time something happens that causes you strong feelings." I had felt a bit irritated at her words. I wanted to feel my emotions, not resist or dampen them. But she continued: "One way you can combat 'drowning' in your feelings is by knowing the things that don't change, no matter what is happening around you or even inside you. I want you to focus on those things - specifically, I want you to focus on yourself. Who are you? What are you? And what parts of you don't change, no matter what else in your life changes?" I reached into my bag and pulled out my journal, carefully smoothing open a blank page and wrinkling my nose as the edges became tipped with frost. "I am," I wrote at the top. And then I stopped, looking hesitantly at the rest of the empty space. There were a lot of words that had been tossed at me lately, words used to describe me, that I supposed I could write there. One of the biggest things that regularly threatened to yank me away from my moorings and dunk me into a stormy sea of emotion was romance - it always had been; but while I had longed for it from afar for more than two decades, suddenly it was arriving on my doorstep, in the form of letters and packages tucked under my door or my eccentric neighbor popping over to ask, as if he'd just thought of it, whether I might like to take a walk this evening, as the weather was excellent? And those letters were full of words that sounded like they were describing someone else - I didn't recognize the confident, warm, lovely person they wrote to me about. It forced me to admit that I had truly believed no one would ever be interested in me romantically. But they were. What truths about me were still constant despite that enormous shift in circumstances? What would continue to be true even when I had to tell some of them I didn't want to be with them - or if I told one of them that I did? What would still be true about me then, if I was no longer single? I slowly put my pencil to the paper and a few words began to come out: I am ... independent. (And I will still be independent, even if someday I'm no longer single.) Strong. (I will still be strong, I'll just have a partner in that strength.) Ambitious. Capable. A leader. Curious. Adventurous. Faithful. Good. [... that was a weird one. I looked at it hard, and felt very uncomfortable. Yes, the kind voice whispered in the frosty wind, yes, dear one, you will still be good if you open yourself up to loving and being loved. You are still good when you have physical feelings, not just intellectual or theoretical ones. You are still good if you say the wrong thing sometimes, if you don't always know what to do, if you make a mistake, even if you hurt yourself or someone else. You were made good, and stepping into this new and unfamiliar season of your life doesn't change that. You are free to be here, and free to find your way imperfectly, with open hands and open heart. You are free to feel these things, free to say these things, free to hear these things said about you, without being ashamed. Even if your relationship status on earth changes, your relationship with your King will not. You are still good, dear one. Don't be afraid.] I sat up a little straighter as I turned another page. It had been almost exactly three months since the village leaders had told everyone to stay home to avoid the plague; and while some things were getting back to normal, many were not. The doctors warned that it could be many more months before the plague was truly gone. And that forced me to ask the question: When so much of my life and identity revolved around making myself liked by other people, what would still be true about me if I were this isolated for three more months, or six, or nine? What was true about me when there was no one else around to tell me I was doing well or doing right? I began to write again: I am ... creative. (I can still create whether anyone sees my work or not.) Imaginative. Hard-working. Kind. (Yes, I am still kind, even when there's no one to tell me I am.) Compassionate. Caring. Empathetic. Emotionally intelligent. Thoughtful. Artistic. Responsible. Successful. (I don't need others to tell me I'm successful. What a strange thought that is.) Another page. A few random ones that didn't fit with either of the upcoming storms I foresaw: I am honest. Sensitive. Courageous. (I don't have to feel courageous to be so.) I am loved. Chosen. Needed. Valued. Worthy. I looked at the page, and took a deep breath. No matter what else happens, I am always the Silver Archer. Even if I change beyond all recognition, change my name, change my station in life - even if I were to change completely into the Dark Elf and lose all of my favorite parts of myself - I will never cease to be the Silver Archer. Some of the words I had hastily jotted down could change, I knew. I might not always be courageous; trauma or age could make me more cautious. I might find contentment and be less ambitious and driven someday. I may not always be an outspoken leader; I might find a comfortable place as a follower and supporter. I closed the journal and tucked it back in my bag, and got to my feet, opening my hands to send shimmering showers of icy crystals through the air, and smiling when they landed on my face like chilly pinpricks in the summer heat. Even if all the other things changed, the last six would not. I would always be loved. I would always be chosen. Needed. Valued. Worthy. And the Silver Archer. Come plagues, come riots, come another season of isolation with my cat - even come more suitors - those things would sustain me, steadfast and certain, the Rock I could place my feet on or hang onto when the maelstrom of emotion tried to suck me into its lost depths. And so the question was - what was I going to build on that Foundation?

I don't know what's going on. That's a staple in my life right now, it seems. It does bother me, but ultimately it's beyond my control. Instead I need to focus on the things that I can control and stop causing myself unneeded stress by worrying about what I can't. Sounds simple, but I haven't quite managed that little trick properly in almost three decades of life. I worry about the things beyond my control plunging me back into darker moments, and maybe that's something I'll never be rid of. But I have found something that gives me some comfort, something I read online a while back that says that when you fall into darkness it doesn't have to mean you've hit the bottom, it means you've just been planted and are ready to grow. That's what I choose to believe. And so I will focus on nurturing that growth. One: The Continuous 5km --- 2x 5+km runs weekly Last challenge I think I did quite well with running, frequently running longer distances than I expected I could. In doing so I've unearthed an old goal, to run 5km without stopping, and will be working my way towards this for as many challenges as it takes. For now I've decided to keep things at two runs a week, albeit slightly longer runs than last time. Two: 35 Days of Movement --- Yoga every morning --- 3x primal movement, tai chi, or mobility exercises I miss my morning yoga, simple as that. Therefore I will get myself back into the habit. I will also add in other forms of movement three times per week, working it around run and workout days. I do this sporadically anyway, I just need to firm up a schedule of sorts and stick to it. Three: Heavyweight --- 2x workouts weekly I also miss lifting. And how I'd feel when I noticed I was getting stronger. The obvious answer is to start working out with regularity again, and, now that my home gym is 95% complete, start hitting the weights properly. Four: The Snack Conundrum --- Cut the crap --- Protein shake daily --- 2l water daily Admittedly the snacking issues has crept up on me again, and it's causing disruption in what were once relatively healthy eating habits. It's also making a mess of my skin, which is extra incentive to stop it. Therefore I will going cold turkey on junk food once again. Five: Everything Else --- Morning and night meditation --- Daily work on one project --- Finish decorating the bedroom --- Update daily And that's that. Relatively simple. If it turns out that I do go back to work during this challenge then a few things will need altered, but I don't know if that will happen or not. It's one of the more frustrating unknowns right now, truth be told. In the meantime I will continue on as I have been and do my best to make full use of the time I have. I'm once again starting right from zero week, although zero week itself will be a sort of testing week to see if anything needs tweaked or fine-tuned. I'll start measuring my progress towards my goals from week one.

Hi, fellow Druids, I am fearless, a long time German member (f.52)who has missed a lot at NF during the last years. I used to be a Scout (running and hiking) and have been heavily into CrossFit for some years. After knee surgery I have been sedentary for 2 years. Result: a slipped disc in my lower back, muscular dysbalance and a lot of pain since the beginning of lockdown in march. I choose the Druids for this challenge because I want to do a mix of yoga, physical therapy exercises and meditation as well. Today at my PT I presented her my "routine" which is about 30 minutes long. Its mostly core stuff to heal faster. 2018 and 2019 I did Keto successfully and cooked all meals for myself. Then I needed a break and had all the bread and fruit Now its time to get back to my way of eating. It helps me to lose weight ( still need to crush about 30 pounds.) and also helps me a lot with mental health issues ( I am clearer and more alert on keto ). my life goal is to be able to write again. I have published a book in 2018 about my way out of mental health hell into the mostly happy person I am now. Its part autobiographic, part self help. After a lot of feedback I was asked to write another book describing the technics that helped me get out of the hellhole. Like what do you do when you are in bed, have not showered in days, find yourself depressed and motionless... how do you get back into a well lived life. I have started research ( science and my diaries) but have my doubts if its a good project.. nevertheless I want to get back into creating regularly. clarification: I am a writer and Cello teacher, so I always work from home and I have a lot of free time because I retired early and only work for 20 hours/week. Only responsibility is my dog ( who plays in my garden mostly since I've been injured.) FEARLESS IS BEATING THE PAIN DRAGON ...THE QUEST... Everyday: 5 Minutes of breathing/meditation as part of my morning routine a short walk with my puppy as warm up 30 Minutes of PT/Stretching/Yoga Food Prep so I have 2-3 keto meals every day. ( I can have greek or Turkish food from takeout 2 times during the challenge. ( only meat and veggies) sit at desk for 30 Minutes a day and see if you can get your groove back. I don't have to write but am not allowed any other activity during this half hour... Thanks for reading, guys! Ive read all of your first posts and look forward to getting sh*t done during this challenge! ❤️

Last challenge went pretty well, mostly. I gotta work on chilling out. I’ve been somewhere between frustrated. And raging mad with work stuff. I have been cranky with everyone around me and that’s not cool. It’s gotta change. Goals: 1. Sleep 2. Manage anxiety and mental health. This has been going through the roof. Largely due to overwork; I took my first days off since the beginning of March and they weren’t even PTO. I just didn’t work from wake to sleep over the weekend. 3. Stay home and social distance but work outside on my suburban homestead developing my orchard trees and bushes, the veggie plots, and the flower corner. 4. Make working from home look good to my company; maybe they will still let us work remotely after all this is over 5. Enjoy quality time with the kids and with Jessie, including figuring out a way to have us time without grandparent help or the ability to go somewhere. 6. Keep exercising. We started the 21-Day Fix Real Time from Beach Body together and today is day 9. It’s been fun and good conditioning. I do miss the barre workouts though. 7. Help educate the kiddos. I’m in charge of Rex’s work, Jessie is in charge of Woody (the more work intensive kid) and we sort of share Bo Peep. 8. Ensure the passing of up-to-date and accurate information online. May the Fourth be with you all.

To say this year has not gone to plan would be a colossal understatement. There have been many unexpected turns, and yet somehow things have found a kind of balance. Yes, I've suffered through less than ideal circumstances, but the good that's happened has been equal to that. Life, however, continues to be unpredictable, and that's why I've come creeping back to the Rangers. I spent a lot of time hiding out with the Druids and the Assassins, and that's done me good, but my current direction calls for another change. ... what that direction is however, I do not know. What I do know is that this struggle has not been for nothing. And I also know that if I allow myself to slip back into complacency then I will remain stagnant. I have the means, motivation, and time to put serious effort into improving myself, improving my fitness, improving my way of life. I'm not the person I was even two or three months ago, much less the person I was last year, and that's a change I welcome and will encourage as best I can. It'll be a bit of a scattered approach to begin with as I find my footing, but over the coming months I'm hoping to figure things out. Goal One: The Houseplant Principle It's easy. For a plant to grow, it needs the right fuel. Sunlight, water, maybe some plant food, and kind words. I need to relearn the basics to help me grow. This is stuff I should be aiming for on a daily basis. Sunlight: I started going out for daily walks again a few weeks back and my therapist is delighted and insistent I continue. Even if the weather isn't great, out I go Hydration: Two litre minimum, at least half must be water Food: Three meals per day. No limitations as lock down limitations have taken many choices from me Kind words: My default is negative. My default is to blame and berate myself. While I can't stop that cold, I can catch it and question it. It's far from a measurable goal, but something to aim for regardless Goal Two: The Scout Variant I live next to a forest now. That makes me incredibly happy. It also makes a convenient location to walk and run. The former I have no issue with, the latter I've been avoiding. Well, no more. But we'll start small. Two runs per week. 6km minimum distance in total, so 3km per run, which makes for a manageable target Goal Three: The Once Per Day Rule And this is where all other exercise goes. There must be some form of exercise done every day. It doesn't have to be a full workout by any means, especially if it's a day I'm running, but it has to be something. Yoga, bodyweight work, lifting, mobility, kettlebells, anything. I'm not all that bothered about progression right now, I'm aiming to keep myself moving and figure out what my body is happiest doing. Whatever is done must be tracked. Written notes to be taken at the time, summary to be posted with update Goal Four: The Talking Method Self-isolation has ever been a damaging coping mechanism for me. Then the country went into lock down and that became my way of life against my will. And I found my voice in a way I have never experienced before. I can't take all the credit for that, I had a lot of help, but it happened and I don't want to lose that. So I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing away from here and just add the forums back in by way of daily check-ins. I'll try for every morning until such time as I get broadband back, which isn't until June. Limited to phone data until then, which isn't great. Also not having much fun trying to post using my phone, I've yet to get the hang of it! Not-Quite-a-Goal Five: The List Not only do I have a small collection of projects and things that I want to do, but I basically live in a building site right now and I am absolutely loving it. Nothing is finished and there is always something to do. Admittedly I'm limited by this extended lock down, but there is no reason I can't actually put some thought into the progression of The List. Again, not something really measurable, but it will help me keep track of what I'm doing and when and how. For the moment I've tried to narrow it down to things I can do during the lock down. So far I have the following: Finish painting the living room walls. They've had one coat, they need a second Sand down the skirting board, door, anything that's been given a coating of glossy of plain white paint Buy and paint at least one bookcase. Currently 300+ books are stacked on the floor Check all bathrooms, reseal if needed Fix the commuter bike or build a Frankenbike hybrid, something that will be enough to get me to and from work Sort out bins, ensure all recycling bins are cleared of rubbish left by the previous tenants and other people Get rid of the endless piles of cardboard overwhelming the hall and kitchen Find or buy drill parts, put up the bedroom curtain rail Modify bedroom curtains to make them blackout or near enough Repot plants and rearrange so everyone gets the amount of sunlight they need Finish sofa blanket (also acquire a sofa) Organise workspace, go through paperwork and destroy what doesn't need to be kept Fix desktop computer, salvage working parts of it's beyond repair Sort out the odds and ends box as best as possible with the current limited storage options List to be amended as needed. And that's that. Simple goals, some more guidelines than anything else, for an admittedly complicated time of life. I'm starting from zero week (and measuring my weeks from Monday to Sunday) as I think it's for the best that I don't delay.

A deep, comfortable silence had settled over the world after the passing of the late spring storm, and I pushed the windows open to let the cool, damp breeze wash into the house. Just past the edge of the clouds, a spray of stars glittered in the deep black sky. There was no hint of frost in the air for the first time that year and I drank in the fresh warmth of approaching summer. My world, like so many others', had become very, very small in the weeks of quarantine. No longer the energetic, confident Ranger who crossed land and sea without fear, I had shrunk too, pummeled and bruised in spirit from weeks of grief, loneliness and loss. I wanted to give love and light, but found myself receiving it more often than giving it. I wanted to adapt and thrive in the quiet of isolation, but found myself just past the boundary of survival, dreading the start of each day and avoiding the sleep that brought it sooner. Tears were never far from the surface and regularly burst out at the most inconvenient of times. But all was not hopeless. I climbed up to sit in the windowsill and lean out, looking down across the valley to where the lights of the village twinkled faintly through the trees. My physical strength was beginning to return; I no longer felt pinched and frail. A shipment of fresh fruit and vegetables had boosted my spirits the previous week and another would be coming the following week. I was in regular contact with family and friends, and their spirits were lifting as they adjusted to isolation, finding space for joy and expansion within the separation. And more than these things, I had discovered a strength within myself I wasn't sure I had. Each time I had lost something or someone, fallen to the ground again with weeping, I had lifted my eyes heavenward and gotten to my feet again. When given the choice to give in to despair or keep trusting that the King's plans were good, I had turned toward Him and leaned on His strength through even the darkest nights. I always said I would follow Him even through the shadowed valleys of death, danger and grief - and I had. When I didn't understand, when I had to say goodbye, when my heart longed for the fields of my home and the embrace of my family, I had clung to faith and not given up. And with His help, I planned to continue doing just that. I slid down from the windowsill and padded into the kitchen to measure the coffee and water for the next morning. Courage in this season might not look like climbing mountains or crossing rivers - it might look like measuring the coffee and going to bed instead of staying up to wait for dawn, trusting that there would be goodness in the following day. A hint of a smile crossed my face as I blew out the candle and picked up my journal to head for bed. There was goodness coming in the morning. Even if I couldn't always feel it, I knew it was there. It would find me before long.

I have gone back and forth probably about a million times on whether or not I wanted to do this challenge; obviously you can see which side won. Content Warning for depression and anxiety. Last challenge did not go well. Near the end of December, depression and anxiety hit me hard. Within a few weeks, insomnia set in and progressively got worse. By mid-March, I was so sleep-deprived I often felt sick and dizzy and was often terrified to drive because I could not see or react properly. I have dealt with anxiety for all of my life, and depression for about half of it, so those were not new, but I had never experienced insomnia quite to that level before. I have been working hard to try and manage my mental health in healthy ways (opposed to the unhealthy coping mechanisms of my past), but it has seemed that everything I have tried either did not work, or provided minimal or temporary relief. Over the last few months with the added insomnia, things spiraled and became crippling. I have refused to even consider taking medication for years and years, but a few weeks ago I finally reached a breaking point. I felt it was time to try it. If there is a chance it might help get my life back, I have to at least TRY. For those of you unfamiliar with anti-depressants. They are no quick fix. They often take anywhere from 4-12 weeks to start working fully...but the side effects tend to start overnight last for the first 2-12 weeks. I am now on day 16, so a little over two weeks in, and it has been a rollercoaster. Part of it has been physical - my side effects are mild, but still unpleasant. And some of it has been mental - I have always thought of myself as someone who "didn't need medication", and opening myself up to taking medication has been a journey. I still haven't told more than my husband and a friend about it, until now, of course. In some ways, taking medication makes having mental health issues feel more real. Mental health is still something I struggle to talk about, despite how much it has impacted my ENTIRE life. Anyway, this journey just so happens to coincide with a pandemic that is sweeping the planet right now, and like many of you in the US, I am under a shelter-in-place order. I have been furloughed by my company, which means I have been out of work for two weeks, and will be out for at least another week, maybe several more. As frustrating as all this is, it has at least given me some time to suffer through the initial side effects of the medication outside of the office, and more importantly, it has given me some MUCH NEEDED time to work on my mental and physical well-being. I would love to say that I have spent the last two weeks out of work just accomplishing all the things. But I haven't, and I have to keep reminding myself that is ok. It is ok that a lot of it was resting and just letting my brain be what it was going to be. It is ok that sometimes the most productive thing I did in a day was read for an hour and clean off the kitchen counters. It is ok that I have not been as active, productive, or creative as I wanted to be. Because the last two weeks have been a journey of off-loading my over-loaded brain. But, I am starting to feel a little better. Some days are still TERRIBLE, but I am starting to have more ok days again too. I am starting to have days where I feel more motivated and productive, more hopeful, more active, more myself again. And I feel like I am ready to try another challenge again, even if I am a bit late to the party. Goals: Physical: Plank for as long as you can at least once a day - starting time 50.9 seconds (4/4/2020) Stretch for at least 10 min, 4x a week Walk for at least 10 min, 5x a week Mental: Read 3 books to stay on track with New Year's goals The Dip by Seth Godin Daring Greatly by Brene Brown The War of Art by Steven Pressfield Emotional: Write down three things I am grateful for each day.

An unbidden smile leapt to my face as I padded quickly down the stairs, every texture and grain a delight to my bare feet, and flew to the window to throw it open and greedily drink in the rush of warm, damp morning air. Spring had finally burst into life in my village, and I thirstily welcomed the bright, soft greeting of the sun on my face and the breeze on my bare shoulders and arms. Life was uncertain, but this - the renewal of life and warmth and happiness that returned every year - was as certain as the sunrise. Things were different, there was no denying that, I thought as I flitted from window to window, opening the curtains, blowing the dirt collected in the casements, using my elbow to swipe at spots on the glass. The pandemic was spreading across the whole world, and no one was safe from it. The doctors and great surgeons were working day and night to find a cure and stop its spread; but the answer was a long way off. They told people to stay in their homes and not go near each other - and the loss of easy conversation and the sudden disruption of life's quiet rhythm had thrown hearts and minds into chaos. People were created for community; and facing the unseen danger of disease without another's comforting touch, a quiet look in the eyes, was a challenge most in our villages had never faced before. The bright sunlight filled and warmed my home, and I looked around it with a critical eye. The warm golden floors, creamy white walls, dusty bookshelves and worn furniture would be my existence for the next few weeks; and it was up to me to make it, not a close prison, but a safe haven. I wouldn't know for two weeks whether I had the disease - if I had it, I would need to stay here and rest as I prayed I would be lightly affected. If I didn't have it, I needed to stay here to avoid catching it at all, and especially to avoid spreading it to anyone else. But either way, at least two weeks, probably more, would pass before I could see another person face-to-face again; and it was crucial that I nourished and disciplined my body and spirit to avoid falling into listlessness and apathy. I returned to the large window and spread my fingertips wide to let the sun trickle onto every inch of my skin. As a Protector - I didn't know if I was allowed to call myself that, but I decided that a time of crisis was an acceptable time to step up and claim the responsibility and the title - there was more that I was responsible for than just myself. Inasmuch as I safely could, it was also my responsibility to bless others who were going through the same thing I was. I rested my forearms on the windowsill and took a deep breath. I couldn't fully explain my new powers - there had been no specific moment when the ice and fire in my veins had fused into this white wind that was part of me, yet outside me - part of my heart, yet not under my control. No longer did the voices of Eldarwen and Sky war in my mind; I was both, and I was neither. I was an ambitious and outgoing healer, and a reserved and pensive creator. I was a teller of stories, both dark and light. And my ability to feel the powerful eddies and currents of emotion in the world was not a weakness, but a gift. I was seeking to become more fully myself - with my new powers, and my new responsibility, I had also taken a new name: Iyashi Misora, the Silver Archer, Protector of Middle Earth and Temple Island. I lifted my hands gently from the windowsill and allowed the familiar warmth of the King's healing energy rise deep in my belly. And the white wind rose to meet it - gathering around me, a gentle stir, collecting warmth and rising higher as I focused my thoughts on what I needed to say. The rising of the sun in the morning, and the rising of the moon in the evening, remind us daily that the King's faithful love is unchanging and constant, the sturdy resting place where we can set down our heavy burdens and tired hearts. His gifts of love, of sharing our hearts with one another, of giving and receiving, even the gift of remembering our own fragility and the hope that goes beyond our brief lifespans - these gifts are not given and withdrawn on a whim, but faithfully given even in the darkest of times. The Light is still here with us and shining for us. We can still reach for the Light even in the shadowed valleys, and in fact it shines brighter than ever in these times. The Light is with us. The King is with us. He has not left us alone. As the words of my prayer came together in my heart, the warm, fragrant wind took its own form, swirling in figure-eights and circles that lifted and tossed the blossoms of the trees and curled around me, lifting the corners of my own mouth into a smile. I opened my eyes and thrust my hands forward; and with a leap, the wind burst out through the window, rushing through the clearing and off into the world, where it would touch and warm whom it would, no longer under my control, but carrying my love and what light I could share. I waited until the sound of its rushing could no longer be heard, then I sucked in another chest full of the soft spring breeze and turned back to face the cluttered table and pile of laundry in my own home. I couldn't yet harness the wind to do my chores for me - but for now, I still had the health and energy I needed to do them myself. With a dance in my step I scooped up a pile and started to clean.

Hey, maybe back after some life changes, enjoy pink pokemon n such. Make art like Wigglytuff! This means getting up early enough to practice trumpet on the daily, and keep a daily word count of 200 for writing. This also means keep my fucking german up, on duolingo for now. Make healthy like Blissey! This means getting 7 hours of sleep every night, and meditating on the daily. Shitpost like Clefable!

Everything has a tendency to feel fresh and new and exciting when a new year dawns, more so when a new decade comes upon us. The temptation to throw every hoarded goal out there for people to see is overwhelming. ...but I picked this year to be very, very quiet. Recovery is first and foremost in my mind, both physical and mental. Admittedly the latter more than the former, but the former does help massively with the latter. the goals [opening tasks] Some things need to be done no matter how much I dislike the idea, and that is to figure out where I am with just about everything. Measurements, photos, and any other data I think I might need. All needs to be collected and put in the battle log during zero week. food I've managed to create a somewhat successful weekly meal prep habit and I am confident that will hold. The next thing to tackle is my depression eating, or rather, depression lack-of-eating. Hot having anything other than a quick snack or even nothing at all isn't a good thing at the best of times, and it's outright damaging when you're working eleven hour shifts six days a week, sometimes more. So to begin with I have two targets to hit daily: 2000 calories 2L water That's it for this round. Observations will be made. Adjustments will happen next time. fitness Having racing out of the picture for the next twelve months means I get to set my own pace and spend a lot more time on building from the ground up. Which I need. I'm sure at one point my body was fairly well put together, but I have broken it a lot since then, and neglected it even more so. So, again, going for very simple things, focusing more on habit building than anything else. Fifteen minutes daily mobility Four yoga sessions weekly Two workouts weekly A single walk weekly That, at least, I know I can fit into my schedule no matter how hectic work gets. wellbeing The goals are, again, very simple, as is the why of it all. I'm not in a good place. Actually, I'm in a fairly awful place, and it's incredibly difficult to keep pulling myself up and out of every awful place I end up in. It's tiring. I want to get back to a place where I can believe life has something to offer other than hurt and misery and isolation. It's going to take time, but I think I'm stubborn enough to stick it out. Nightly meditation to clear my mind Morning meditation to calm any fear or anxiety present Daily positive affirmations (do not need to be unique ones every day) Do something creative daily Talk daily. Even if I feel like I have nothing to say, even if it's only a bare bones account of my day and not much more. Whatever it takes to keep from silence Ten minutes of cleaning/daily household work Very much back to basics, focusing on both what I enjoy doing and what will help me maintain balance in my day to day life. Admittedly this whole thing is somewhat frustrating. Being set back by a major breakdown isn't exactly a new thing, but I usually don't have plans that I'm on the verge of putting into action when it happens. Part of re-working this challenge and actually going ahead with it is to help myself realise that holding onto the guilt and the anger over it is at best useless and at worst self-destructive. Ideally, I'd like to be ready to push on with my original plans at the end of this cycle, but I'm acutely aware that this challenge covers a period of tricky and often turbulent time for me. So I'll settle for holding steady. Really, I'm continuing my festive theme of survival. Got to get a handle on that before I can do anything else. So that's what I'll do.

metanoia (n.) the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self, or way of life Or all of the above. It’s another step along the way to become the person I want to be, the kind of person I know I can be, if I give myself a chance and enough support to grow. A large chunk of this journey has been moved to my battle log as it’s more a day-to-day, goalless kind of thing. Though that does technically mean I have to find myself some goals for these challenges. Like so: Goal One: The Pistol I used to be able to do pistol squats. Only a couple on each side, but still… My progress in that area has reversed drastically over the years. I can just about wobble to the ground on each leg, but it is a very shaky wobble and I cannot rise up on either leg without ending up on the floor. As far as I recall, I managed to figure out pistols the first time around through brute force and ignorance. There will be a fair amount of that this time around, but there will also be some specific mobility and balance work. I can do this, I just need to help my body remember how. Aim: Do a whole pistol squat on at least one leg (more likely to be the right leg) by the end of the challenge (ambitious, not the end of the world if it doesn’t happen, but I’m determined to make sure it does!) Goal Two: Downward Facing Dog My heels do not now, nor have they ever, touched the ground in the downward facing dog pose. All signs point to my not-so-great mobility and general lack of flexibility. This is where the specific mobility work mentioned in the first goal comes in, and I’m hoping that since there are two outcomes resting on it that it will encourage me to actually get it done properly. Aim: Three times weekly leg mobility practice Goal Three: Vegetables Seriously. I am not getting enough in and it has a noticeable impact on my insides and my energy levels. This is basically a repeat of my food goal last challenge. Aim: Five to ten portions of vegetables daily Side Project: Guitar Something to force me to have some fun, even on the days I feel like crap. I can kind of play guitar. Very badly. I’ve wanted to improve for ages but have never actually made it a priority. Until now. I’m committing to ten minutes a day, five days a week minimum. Doesn’t matter what I’m doing so long as I’m playing for ten minutes. And that’s that. Keeping it simple goals-wise in an effort to help myself actually stick to things (as well as continuing the things I’ve tried to incorporate into my life already), especially when life gets rough and the stress climbs higher. I’m going to also aim for five small updates per week to try and keep me a little more social and connected.

Hello nerds! I'm annyshay! Here are my goals for the next 6 weeks... Pass my boards Win NaNoWriMo Go Deeper with Health Coaching There's been a lot of upheaval in my life in the recent past from moving across country to the death of my Grandpa to a lot of traveling, but things are starting to mellow out just in time for... my boards and NaNoWriMo. Hehe. That's right, within the span of this challenge, I will be taking two sets of medical boards and trying to write 50,000 words in one month. So, I want to try to lean on my community here a little bit harder instead of just phoning in my updates. So, I have overarching goals and will give narrative reports within those about what's going on for me at the moment. I hope to continue to post consistently and wander among other nerds threads a bit more than I have been doing lately. We'll see how it goes, and everything is open to tweaking as necessary to help support my goals. Sound good? Let's do this thing!