Snarkyfishguts: DBL

[Snarkyfishguts]

Good news, my mammogram results came back and they are fine!

 

I'm also looking at my hair today and am really glad I made the appointment. I really don't know what went wrong here. It looks like one haircut stacked on another haircut. I think I may come out of it with one length. 

 

Last week I said I think I need a break, but I wasn't sure what that meant.  What I really want to do is take the summer offline.  I want to go play outside, eat popsicles and read books and work on my art a lot.  I'm stuck in caregiving mode right now, and I don't need to be and that's super stressful. Everyone passed all their healthy tests so we can relax this summer. I want to really stop and remember what being an artist feels like. Also, I want to have fun.  I don't feel very fun these days.  I feel grouchy and irritable and withdrawn. I also need a break from thinking about weight loss and obsessing about my health. I just want to exercise and eat well and not think about scales, blood pressure, heart rates, and evaluating all my choices that week and what I need to do next week. 

 

With Bert the nephew coming to live with us in the fall, I feel like taking this time to kinda reset is really important so I feel really relaxe and good about me when he comes in and pees on the toilet seat and I say "Bert, if you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat."   Honestly, even without him coming to live here, I need a break so that's what I'm going to do. I'm gonna make art, go outside and play, and relax from May to September.  I'm really excited for this!  

 

Now the important bit: popsicle flavors! What's your favorite? I love orange and grape!

[Shello]

1 hour ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

Now the important bit: popsicle flavors! What's your favorite? I love orange and grape!

Grape and blue raspberry! 

 

I hope you really enjoy the break and feel restored in the fall.  

[Snarkyfishguts]

4 minutes ago, Shello said:

Grape and blue raspberry! 

 

I hope you really enjoy the break and feel restored in the fall.  

Blue raspberry!! That's not my favorite, but I do like that it turns my tongue blue. 

 

Did you have these pops as a kid too?

 

And thanks! I'm really excited. Like it feels like old school summer vacation!

 

[The Most Loathed]

On 4/22/2024 at 9:04 AM, Snarkyfishguts said:

My hair is not working out. I called the Salon and spoke to the owner and scheduled another appointment with the woman who cuts my hair. It's just not laying evenly, and I said to him "I'm not sure what's happening but it's laying unevenly in the front and I'd like to come in and problem solve this with her."  because the right side looks very different from the left side. So they fit me in tomorrow morning. Wish me luck! I hope they can fix it. I'm going to a wedding May 11, and I'd like to not have my hair in a ponytail for it. LOL Or buy a wig. 

Hormones and eventually a razor has solved this problem for me .

[Sovalis]

So glad the mammogram results came back fine! What a relief!

 

I support your decision to have a Snarky-centric Summer and do all the wonderful things without crowding your brain. I will really, *really* miss you if you don’t come back to us, though. Not that I intend that as pressure if you decide you’d rather not, but just saying.

 

Popsicles: Del Monte made some fancy ones I had a while ago. Some were strawberry and others were blood orange I think? Either way, they were incredible. For standard popsicles I like the grape and orange ones, but I am open to many frozen confections. I love love love creamsicles and fudgecicles as well. I think you should do a tiny doodle of each popsicle you have over the summer and make it a fun archive. 

[Snarkyfishguts]

2 hours ago, The Most Loathed said:

Hormones and eventually a razor has solved this problem for me .

Hahaha! Some days I am tempted!

1 hour ago, Sovalis said:

So glad the mammogram results came back fine! What a relief!

yay!! Thanks!!

1 hour ago, Sovalis said:

 

I support your decision to have a Snarky-centric Summer and do all the wonderful things without crowding your brain. I will really, *really* miss you if you don’t come back to us, though. Not that I intend that as pressure if you decide you’d rather not, but just saying.

Thank you!! I give you notice, I intend to return! And then we can share stories about how our summers went! 
 

1 hour ago, Sovalis said:

Popsicles: Del Monte made some fancy ones I had a while ago. Some were strawberry and others were blood orange I think? Either way, they were incredible. For standard popsicles I like the grape and orange ones, but I am open to many frozen confections. I love love love creamsicles and fudgecicles as well. I think you should do a tiny doodle of each popsicle you have over the summer and make it a fun archive. 

The doodles are a good suggestion!!

I love creamsicles and fudgecicles too!! They’re so much fun!!

 

I will have to look for del monte popsicles! That sounds good! We eat a lot of outshine? I think that’s what they’re called. Those are good too! 

[Snarkyfishguts]

This week has been a busy one again! Yesterday I saw my regular doctor and she was thrilled with my weight loss from last year,  and she likes my diet and exercise plan. She should because it's the one she recommended   But it was a relief to see her and have her say that everything looks good for now. I feel like I can relax.  

 

Tuesday, I got my hair fixed up, so it looks really pretty, but it's just doesnt' feel like ME. I don't know why. It's perfectly good hair, but lately it feels like someone else's hair. Does that make sense?

 

My friend opened up a boutique for plus sized clothing! She and her cousin were tired of shopping for clothes online and having to return them and they figured other women feel the same. It's a really pretty little store, and I'm really excited for her. I went to the soft opening last night, and her parents were there, and I haven't seen them in years.  I hugged them both really hard and sat and talked to them for almost an hour and listened to how happy they were and how proud they were of my friend. We were best friends in middle school and we spent so much time sleeping over each other's houses and she and I joked that we shared parents. When I saw them, I felt so many things, and I don't really have the words for it. I'm so glad I got to see them.

 

Today I got the car inspected, took Dad to the gym and ran errands, my brother stopped by and then my aunt and uncle are coming for dinner tonight. After tonight, I have NOTHING on my plate for DAYS.  I also realized there's a wedding May 11, and I HAVE TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT, so summer vacation will start after the wedding.  I know the wedding cake topper has dogs on it! I wonder if their dog will be in the ceremony! I can't wait to find out! Well, I CAN because I have to find a wedding present!  

 

 

[Shello]

Congrats on a healthy check up and fixed up hair.  That boutique opening sounds really fun and a good chance to catch up and reminisce.  

 

Yay wedding!  They must really like dogs! 

[Snarkyfishguts]

4 hours ago, Shello said:

Yay wedding!  They must really like dogs! 

They really do! They get rescued greyhounds even though they look like land sharks. I’ve seen them take a dog who seemed cold and unfriendly and help them become affectionate, happy dogs. They have a lot of love. 

[Snarkyfishguts]

Good morning!

 

It's been an emotional week at my house. There are birthdays coming up, and parental themed holidays and high school reunions and this wedding and everyone has feelings and I've been the emotional support person a lot, and I know... boundaries and not being codependent is important, but the timing is shit. 

Dad got his official neuropathy diagnosis last month, and I haven't talked about it much because I wanted to just think about it for a while. He's got Chronic Idiopathic Axonal Polyneuropathy which means it's going to progress (but slowly!) and they dont' know what caused it, and they can't treat it, and it's impacting his hands and feet.  It's been a bit of a blow, and everyone has taken turns processing it. Because they don't know what causes it, and they can't say if it's genetic or not, I'm just going to play it safe and stop drinking alcohol because it's a neurotoxin.  I'm going to be so dang healthy by the end of of summer making all these different changes to prevent being a part of my family medical history. Except ice cream. Seriously, y'all. There needs to be a limit. I can't give up ice cream.  

 

I'm actually pretty okay right now. I've told my family my plans to focus on my health and my art and they're really supportive of that. I also told them that means not being available to them sometimes, and that isn't me rejecting them or criticizing them, it's just me saying "It's not your turn right now."

They're going to be okay.  I'm still holding onto the summer break idea, and I'm still really excited about it! I'm looking forward to having experiences that aren't focused on taking care of other people or what's happening to other people, and I'm looking forward to returning in the fall and having new things to talk about and having a more healthy focus.  

 

In the meantime, we have Mom's birthday to look forward to, and this awesome wedding next weekend, and this weekend we're having a family potluck that is taco themed and everyone is bringing their favorite taco stuff! It's going to be so much fun!

[Shello]

Sorry to hear about his new diagnosis and all the challenges that will bring.  That is a lot for everyone to process.  I'm glad you're giving yourself time to do that.   Giving up ice cream does seem excessive though.  

[DrFeelgood]

19 minutes ago, Shello said:

Giving up ice cream does seem excessive though.  

[Snarkyfishguts]

6 hours ago, Shello said:

Sorry to hear about his new diagnosis and all the challenges that will bring.  That is a lot for everyone to process.  I'm glad you're giving yourself time to do that.   Giving up ice cream does seem excessive though.  

Right? I ate ice cream today! And thanks. We all need some time, and it seems like Mom and Dad are starting to move forward and now I’m a little stuck. I told myself I can wallow for a solid day then I need to get busy. 

 

6 hours ago, DrFeelgood said:

Right? I mean, a person still has to enjoy life!

[Snarkyfishguts]

Taco night was a lot of fun! It was funny because everyone brought chips and salsa in addition to taco fillings.  My second cousin came over and it was really great to see her and her husband. We haven't seen them in years. She was really nice because she doesn't hide from what's obvious, so she asked Dad about his blindness and how he was doing, but she didnt' make value statements or make suggestions. She just listened. And then when she talked to my mom, she didn't talk about Dad, she just talked to my mom about other stuff, because my mom is a whole ass person, not just a caregiver. My cousin just had this wonderful way of acknowledging things without adding weight to it.

 

I started back to work this week on making art and working on my business and it feels good. I have a lot of work to do, and it's going to take a long time to get it all done, but I'm excited to start chipping away at it. 

 

We have a black cat that belongs to no one hanging out in the backyard. He's discovered we have a ton of chipmunks so he's just like "This place is awesome" We call him Royce after the Royce and Hadrian books because he's our assassin. We'll see how long he sticks around for. We usually get a stray now and then that comes to our yard and has a few good days and then moves on to other houses. Sometimes they're friendly. Royce is NOT friendly, but as long as he's helping dwindle the Horde of Chipmunks and mice in the backyard, he's a welcome neighbor. 

[ReturnOfTheDad]

On 5/7/2024 at 12:20 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

My cousin just had this wonderful way of acknowledging things without adding weight to it.

So nice to have a person like that for support!

[Snarkyfishguts]

8 minutes ago, ReturnOfTheDad said:

So nice to have a person like that for support!

Right? It was so lovely.  I hope she and her hubs keep coming, it was just dang nice having them around  

[Snarkyfishguts]

The wedding has come and gone!

 

First of all, the ceremony was short, sincere, and full of personal touches. It was really nice, and felt special to the couple.  The bride wore a long sleeve gown with a lot of lace, and a flower crown for her veil. She looked like an Earth Goddess, and that was her goal. Mission accomplished! The groom wore a grey vest, dress slacks and a flower necktie. All the brides maids wore shades of blue and the groomsmen wore matching flower neckties and blue dress shirts. 

The dog WAS in the wedding and walked up the aisle with the newly announced married couple.  She was very well behaved. 

It rained a LOT so all the guests were crammed under a patio for the ceremony, and it was really uncomfortable. The venue itself was not accessible for anyone with disabilities, and the food and wine were terrible. 

Not only did it rain before the ceremony but the staff started locking down the building and no one was allowed to leave because it was hailing and apparently a tornado touched down 30 minutes from the venue! Tornados aren't unheard of where we live but they are very, very rare.  but after the tornado passed and the rain ended, there was an AMAZING rainbow and the bride's mother got a great photo of the newlyweds standing together underneath it. 

We had a good time but it would've been better if the venue had been better. I think they must've seen it on a really good day. No one was super impressed with the place, and I wasn't the only person who muttered about the accessibility being an issue, which was validating.  

 

So my summer break begins?  I got a bit of a head start this month, and I can already tell you I am filled with mixed feelings about this experience. Personal growth is uncomfortable, but I'm also determined to come back in the fall and just say "I feel at ease with myself in the quiet." Yeah? Yeah!

I feel like the person who said she was leaving 30 minutes ago and is standing at the front door with her coat on telling one more story  before her date says "You're not moving away forever,  you're just going on a vacation silly!"    

 

[Shello]

11 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

The wedding has come and gone!

 

First of all, the ceremony was short, sincere, and full of personal touches. It was really nice, and felt special to the couple.  The bride wore a long sleeve gown with a lot of lace, and a flower crown for her veil. She looked like an Earth Goddess, and that was her goal. Mission accomplished! The groom wore a grey vest, dress slacks and a flower necktie. All the brides maids wore shades of blue and the groomsmen wore matching flower neckties and blue dress shirts. 

The dog WAS in the wedding and walked up the aisle with the newly announced married couple.  She was very well behaved. 

It rained a LOT so all the guests were crammed under a patio for the ceremony, and it was really uncomfortable. The venue itself was not accessible for anyone with disabilities, and the food and wine were terrible. 

Not only did it rain before the ceremony but the staff started locking down the building and no one was allowed to leave because it was hailing and apparently a tornado touched down 30 minutes from the venue! Tornados aren't unheard of where we live but they are very, very rare.  but after the tornado passed and the rain ended, there was an AMAZING rainbow and the bride's mother got a great photo of the newlyweds standing together underneath it. 

We had a good time but it would've been better if the venue had been better. I think they must've seen it on a really good day. No one was super impressed with the place, and I wasn't the only person who muttered about the accessibility being an issue, which was validating.  

 

So my summer break begins?  I got a bit of a head start this month, and I can already tell you I am filled with mixed feelings about this experience. Personal growth is uncomfortable, but I'm also determined to come back in the fall and just say "I feel at ease with myself in the quiet." Yeah? Yeah!

I feel like the person who said she was leaving 30 minutes ago and is standing at the front door with her coat on telling one more story  before her date says "You're not moving away forever,  you're just going on a vacation silly!"    

 

The flowers in the wedding attire sounds absolutely gorgeous!  Too bad the venue was a bit of a spoiler.  I have heard rain on your wedding day is good luck and a rainbow sounds like beautiful scenery.  Good news that the tornado wasn't closer!  

 

Enjoy your summer break and watch out for deer (#MinnesotaGoodbyes)

[Snarkyfishguts]

2 hours ago, Shello said:

The flowers in the wedding attire sounds absolutely gorgeous!  Too bad the venue was a bit of a spoiler. 

It wasn't enough to ruin the day though! The bride and groom were happy so I am too.

2 hours ago, Shello said:

I have heard rain on your wedding day is good luck

Oooh I didn't know that!  I like this! 

2 hours ago, Shello said:

and a rainbow sounds like beautiful scenery.  Good news that the tornado wasn't closer!  

It was far enough away that everyone enjoyed the idea of it! 

2 hours ago, Shello said:

 

Enjoy your summer break and watch out for deer (#MinnesotaGoodbyes)

We say this in Pennsylvania too!  I LOVE this! See you soon <4

[Sovalis]

Have a great summer, Snarky! ?

[Snarkyfishguts]

HI! I thought I'd check in! I'm not ready to "be back" yet, but I missed y'all and thought I'd say hi!

 

This summer has been full of highs and lows. Some of my favorite days were the ones where my mom and I just looked at each other and said "Let's go here!" and it was fun.  We saw fireworks, a pet parade (with animals ranging from tortoises to horses, but no cats!) and drove to a hot air balloon race that was cancelled due to wind.  It's been a nice summer for reading books, getting bug bites, and spending time with friends and family. 

 

One bit of business is that I'm not returning to the weight loss PVP and I'm not tracking my exercise, diet, habits, whatever. I'm done setting goals and deadlines when it comes to my body and health.  Something I've realized is that I'm going to have to eat right and exercise for the rest of my life.  So constantly recording my daily choices and then reviewing them every week and evaluating my effort is not sustainable for me. I need healthy living to just be, and then we'll celebrate when I get under 200, but gosh, I'm just still so burned out, and it's hard enough to just exercise, let alone keep records and talk about it. So making this choice NF official feels really good.

 

And I realized I dont' have to track or report in all the time. We can be friends still, right? RIGHT?!?!!  I'd love to just come on and cheer y'all on and share with you fun things like

 

my nephew is in summer theater camp, and they're doing Spongebob the musical and My nephew is playing Mr. Krabs and he's so excited!!! And I've got tickets to watch him sing about money! I can't wait.  The show is THIS saturday so heeheehee!! It's going to be fun!

 

 

[Shello]

4 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

And I realized I dont' have to track or report in all the time. We can be friends still, right? RIGHT?!?!!  I'd love to just come on and cheer y'all on and share with you fun things like

Absolutely!  It's the life stuff that makes this place so cozy anyway!  And we'd miss you if you didn't check in and tell us how life is going.  Glad to hear you are enjoying your summer!  

[deftona]

10 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

And I realized I dont' have to track or report in all the time. We can be friends still, right? RIGHT?!?!!  I'd love to just come on and cheer y'all on and share with you fun things like

 

RIGHT! 

 

I much prefer everyone's real life updates anyway. I am interesting in all of your lives and I love hearing from you so do whatever feels good Snarky! 

[Snarkyfishguts]

On 7/29/2024 at 1:16 PM, Shello said:

Absolutely!  It's the life stuff that makes this place so cozy anyway!  And we'd miss you if you didn't check in and tell us how life is going.  Glad to hear you are enjoying your summer!  

YAY! Thanks a bunch!! *hugs*

On 7/29/2024 at 1:22 PM, deftona said:

 

RIGHT! 

 

I much prefer everyone's real life updates anyway. I am interesting in all of your lives and I love hearing from you so do whatever feels good Snarky! 

*hugs* ME TOO! 

 

 

Yesterday we saw Ernie in the theater camp Musical for Spongebob! And he was a great Mr. Krabs and made everyone laugh, and he was a real bully. After the show, he and the cast signed autographs and he kept asking the kids for money in his Krabs voice  while he signed and they would giggle. The show itself was a lot of fun considering they only had two weeks to get it up and running. Ernie loved it and it was fun for us too. He wore red boxing gloves for his crabby hands. LOL 

 

I'm going to go set some things on fire. I'll take photos. 

[Snarkyfishguts]

1 hour ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

I'm going to go set some things on fire. I'll take photos. 

It apparently stormed overnight. Everything was soaked through and no fires today.