Respawning post house move - or just giving up. Haven't honestly decided yet

[Raven Rose]

I joined NF and shortly after that our house buying process started and the more spoons I needed for that, the less I was exercising, and then as it ramped up all I've had the energy for is the move.  Well, now we're in and that's wonderful and soon my fiancé will be working from home more often than not but the toll all of this has taken on my mental health and fitness is awful.  I've been low so comfort eating and therefore gaining weight and hating myself even more than I already did (which, believe me, was a LOT) so I want to respawn.

 

Thing is though, I've had so many false starts.  I've lost all the progress I made and then some, I've just let myself go again and a big part of me feels like there's no point because I ALWAYS end up failing and back here.  Over the last few years I've overcome some massive hurdles in my life but this just feels like the one thing I can't get over.  Part of me is dying to get going and start exercising again, but the other part is just ready to lie down and die, give up and be the fat bride that will stop me from ever looking back at the photos (November next year, 360 days to go)  and I'm so scared that that part of me is bigger.  I want to be strong, but I just don't think I am any more.  I think I'm too old and too stuck with it now.

 

I hate myself for even writing that, but I don't think the hating is going to help fix things either.  I really don't know whether it's worth trying.

[Raincloak]

Of course it's worth SUCCEEDING.  Don't think of your past workouts and clean eating as "tries."  You successfully did a bunch of good things for yourself.  That isn't erased by the fact you later stopped doing those things.  Every workout is a victory.  Every veggie you eat is a (delicious) victory.  A fit lifestyle is not one of those things where you reach a goal and then you get to stop; it's an ongoing journey.

 

so, today is a new day, and you can choose to take a walk, breathe lots of nice fresh air, drink water, and eat things that are good to you.  You can choose to put down the phone/internet/TV for 30 or 60 minutes, and give yourself a break from the media madness.  You can choose to have a hot shower with yummy smelling soap and go to bed early.  How bout it?

[RhiaWolfe]

Like Raincloak said, this is a lifestyle change with no real end to the journey. Celebrate every small success. Every time you start or try to change your life is a success. Why? You're not giving up! 

 

The way I look at it, you're unhappy with something. If you're unhappy, it's time to change something. If you fail, learn from those failures and continue on. I have tried so many times to lose weight and get healthy. I'm struggling with it too, but I'm at the point that I'm paying attention to past mistakes and trying to learn from those. 

 

One thing I've learned is that it is a slow process. Every day, a single good decision, no matter how small it is is a success. Don't aim to be perfect. Aim to do a little better this week than last week. 

 

It's always worth trying. Keep trying until you find something that works. If you're having trouble keeping the good eating habits, why? Are you trying to change too many things at once? Instead of trying to eat completely healthy from the start, why not try to just eat one vegetable or one fruit with a meal each day. Or drink one less soda each day. Something small that is still progress, but wont' stress you out. Maybe go for a 10 minute walk each day. Doesn't even have to be a fast walk. Just get moving. 

 

Don't give up. It's a difficult journey. I've never had to do anything as difficult as losing weight and getting fit. However, if we stop trying, then it's for sure never going to happen.  

[Raven Rose]

Thanks both. That was really what I needed to hear - I'm always a bit black and white, and 99% == failure... not a helpful attitude! Catching the Evil Cold of Horribleness has actually helped because I've not been well enough to do my usual all or nothing approach so I've just made a few tweaks to my diet and started walking from my first bus to work instead of catching the second leg. So kind of forced to make baby steps and I can definitely feel the sense in it.  I'm not minded to give up on myself yet, so I guess every step is still going the right way.