having trouble with self control

[ssDOit]

Hi everyone,

I'm 5'7" and 165 lbs. I would like to get down to 140 lbs. I am a huge emotional eater. It comes from family and personal stress. When I'm sad, I comfort myself with food but at the end, I feel like I punished myself. I can't seem to stick to my diet and stop binging on junk. I'm trying paleo and having trouble motivating myself to exercise. Any help on how you all stay motivated and what you do when you feel hopeless would be amazing help. I always feel motivated when I wake up and as I go through out my day I get more and more stressed. I've always been skinny without doing. The weight didn't come till college. I feel embarrassed to see my high school friends and have some family members who make fun of my weight gain. I'm just here to look for support because no one else in my family seems to support me.

Thank you all.

[Deleted Account]

Willpower can be incredibly hard to develop, especially if you don't have much (or any) support. I'm new as well, myself, but from what I've seen so far you've definitely come to the right place for support. Remember: It doesn't matter what happened yesterday, or this morning, or five minutes ago. Focus on what you can do now, or in the next five minutes, or the next hour, that will be a positive step. Especially when it comes to willpower in the face of stress, it's all about making small changes one at a time. You can do it.

[Siferiax]

First of all, BIG HUG!

I understand your frustration, and I'm still kind of figuring out what changed to make me do better.

I would say if you have the most motivation when you wake up, then exercise at that precise moment! (if you are able). Even just getting out and walking around the block, is more than slumping down on the couch!!!

There are many ways to deal with emotional eating. Please see this thread for some tips and tricks: http://www.nerdfitness.com/community/showthread.php?19516-What-do-you-guys-replace-emotional-eating-with

Getting up for exercising didn't come for myself until I fell out of a tree and couldn't walk anymore... I hated it and it gave me the best motivation to get going.

What I would say though is TRY EVERYTHING and have fun. Is there anything you'd love to do?! Then try it, fail, laugh and try again.

I remember I wanted to try this yoga pose and so I did it, failed horribly and fell over and laughed a lot, then tried again till I could do it for 5 seconds.

Start small, have fun, and remember ANYTHING is better than NOTHING!

Even if you would just do 1 push up (wall, knee, regular, whatever your level) in the morning, you'd be doing more than you do now. If you do it for a week, you can cheer and try 2 push ups the next week.

Take baby steps and consistently keep exercising and before you know it, it's not something you "have to do"/"should do" it's just something you do, or even must do.

[sumdawgtwigg]

I know what it's like to not have much self control. To binge on something and then feel like a total loser afterwards. You just have to face it and tackle it head on. You may or may not fail a few times. Just keep fighting, eventually you will win. Best of luck.

[20mb13]

well i stay motivated by that i'm too sexy song whilst standing in front of a mirror flexing my fat packs xD no no seriously though. i think one of the best ways to stay motivated and not let emotions get to you is 1 to always stay busy or try your best to. it keeps your mind from straying into things you don't want to think about. maybe pick up some more hobbies, preferably physical ones. physical hobbies work well with point number 2! give yourself a nice compliment as much as you possibly can! the physical hobbies work well with 2 because after you accomplish something you can say damn i'm good! and eventually in a non douchey way you will believe everything you say... and get to a point where you don't want to let yourself down. pfft to negativity!!!

i literally walk around and compliment myself just for taking 3 steps and not tripping over something sometimes haha.

[Laureleye]

I recommend preparing to join the challenge when it starts. You'll find the info you need here. Part of what you'll need to do is join a guild (profession). Once you've done that look around the guild's current challenges and see what others are doing and formulate your plan. When you join a guild and a challenge, you get a built-in support group. You don't have to wait for the challenge to start, you can start on things today - right this minute. Take a walk around the block, clear the pantry of key "binge" foods, do something. Remember something is better than nothing. Welcome to the rebellion.

[Lydieboo]

Hi everyone,

I'm 5'7" and 165 lbs. I would like to get down to 140 lbs. I am a huge emotional eater. It comes from family and personal stress. When I'm sad, I comfort myself with food but at the end, I feel like I punished myself. I can't seem to stick to my diet and stop binging on junk. I'm trying paleo and having trouble motivating myself to exercise. Any help on how you all stay motivated and what you do when you feel hopeless would be amazing help. I always feel motivated when I wake up and as I go through out my day I get more and more stressed. I've always been skinny without doing. The weight didn't come till college. I feel embarrassed to see my high school friends and have some family members who make fun of my weight gain. I'm just here to look for support because no one else in my family seems to support me.

Thank you all.

Wow, we are remarkably similar. I'm also 5'7, (172 lbs when I started out - right now ??), emotional eater, gone Paleo. So I have some recommendations:

1. Find something that motivates you, and think about it a lot. You can't just say "I want to be thin," it's not enough to overcome the "I feels." For me, it's this: http://www.windstarcruises.com/ In 2014, my mom and I are taking a luxury sailing cruise to celebrate my paying off all my school debt. I want to look as amazing as I will feel lounging on a luxury yacht in the carribbean. When I start getting discouraged, I haul out my brochure (and you'd better believe I had them mail me one) and dream about what it will be like.

2. Understand what you're doing before you undertake it. I'd heard of paleo months ago, but it took reading a book, an article, and a couple of websites that explained what it was really about before I could understand what's so important about the way we Americans are hurting our bodies. If you're not sure why you're going Paleo (or exercising, for that matter), you won't have the conviction to overcome your emotions.

3. Start off at a reasonable pace. When I ran my first half marathon this year, I did loads of research and found out that it's recommended that you walk frequently when running your first 13.1. The people that kill 13 miles in a little over an hour got to that point over a long time. They didn't start off running for miles on end. The same thing is true when you're changing your lifestyle (and if you want to succeed, it has to be a life-long change). Start off by getting rid of the big things - caffeine, high fructose corn syrup, $5.00 coffees. Once you've got those under control, taking the next steps to Primal eating, and then Paleo are doable. But when you go from zero to sixty in 3.5 seconds, it's hard to maintain your pace for a long time.

4. Check in EVERY DAY. When you start walking, your parents have to hold you up every step along the way. But as your legs grow stronger, you get some good habits under your belt, and you find your balance, you are able to start walking alone. Emotional eaters like you and me need little perks all throughout the day to remind us to be happy not about our surroundings, but about our great choices that we are making for ourselves. Find a support base here on NF, at your office, with your family, through friends - anywhere that you can, and talk to them every day about how you're doing. Encourage other people and you will encourage yourself, but you have to interact with people to keep up your determination at first.

Now that you have Lydieboo's Guide to Doing Life... Just kidding. Sorry for the book, but I hope it helps. I'd also encourage you to find something active that you enjoy doing. Find something that, when you leave doing it, you have a big smile on your face, and then do that thing a lot, whether it's dancing, rock climbing, running, ice skating...anything athletic that you love. It will make a big difference at how quickly you hop out of bed in the morning to get some "exercise" in.

[JuiceeTarget]

Willpower is like a muscle. It gets stronger with use, but overuse makes you tired and unable to exert as much as you'd like. So, I'd say find one small thing you can change. I like what Kibcy suggested. Can you try doing one doable exercise every morning right after you wakeup? It could be as simple as 5 squats, or a walk around the block, or as complex as going to the gym every single morning. Get a calendar and a big red pen. When you do that one exercise, mark it off on your calendar and smile. When you feel like not doing it, the calendar will beckon. When you miss the morning, the calendar will dare you to go to sleep without that exercise at night. Tell yourself you'll do it for two weeks and then reassess.

One simple thing. Exercises your willpower without wearing it out completely.

After the two weeks, see if you can add one more simple thing like a diet challenge (replace the donut with an apple every morning)

You can see where this is going.

Please keep checking in and let us know how you are doing. We'll be great cheerleaders for you!

[Laureleye]

Willpower is like a muscle. It gets stronger with use, but overuse makes you tired and unable to exert as much as you'd like. So, I'd say find one small thing you can change. I like what Kibcy suggested. Can you try doing one doable exercise every morning right after you wakeup? It could be as simple as 5 squats, or a walk around the block, or as complex as going to the gym every single morning. Get a calendar and a big red pen. When you do that one exercise, mark it off on your calendar and smile. When you feel like not doing it, the calendar will beckon. When you miss the morning, the calendar will dare you to go to sleep without that exercise at night. Tell yourself you'll do it for two weeks and then reassess.

One simple thing. Exercises your willpower without wearing it out completely.

After the two weeks, see if you can add one more simple thing like a diet challenge (replace the donut with an apple every morning)

You can see where this is going.

Please keep checking in and let us know how you are doing. We'll be great cheerleaders for you!

Absolutely brilliant advice.