Bearded_Dragon Posted April 10, 2014 Report Share Posted April 10, 2014 "It's raining cats & dogs outside." "I know! I stepped in a poodle!" 1 Quote Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted April 10, 2014 Report Share Posted April 10, 2014 What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese? Foul weather. 4 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Fearkiller Posted April 10, 2014 Report Share Posted April 10, 2014 Once I cracked up two eggs with a bad joke. (I came up with that one on my own...Was way more funnier than it probably should've been...) 2 Quote "There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged | STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.1 | 15.2 | Milythaels' HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good. It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator "I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories "Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." - Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. "Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky "Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings "I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit "If you do strange things, strange things will happen!" "That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker Link to comment
maenumania Posted April 12, 2014 Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 I tried to catch some fog...I mist! 3 Quote Level 1 - assassinSTR: 3, DEX: 2, STA: 2, CON: 2, WIS: 3, CHA: 3Current Challenge: maenumania learns the secrets of spidermanBattle Log: We are the hero of our story!--------------------------------------------------------------------Challenge Archive: #1 - Let's kill those rats and spider!--------------------------------------------------------------------Where other men blindly follow the truth, remember nothing is true. Where other men are limited, by morality or law, remember everything is permitted. We work in the dark to serve the light. We are the Assassins. Link to comment
Cr33g Posted April 14, 2014 Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with. 2 Quote Link to comment
redwoodfog Posted April 14, 2014 Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Hopefully not a repeat.... A new patient arrives at the psychiatrist's office wrapped only in cellophane. The psychiatrist says "I can clearly see you're nuts!" Better spoken than written! 1 Quote Link to comment
Cr33g Posted April 14, 2014 Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired. 1 Quote Link to comment
Cr33g Posted April 15, 2014 Report Share Posted April 15, 2014 For gamers, especially old school Nintendo: What does Mario like to wear? Denim denim denim. 4 Quote Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted April 15, 2014 Report Share Posted April 15, 2014 A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his butt. Doctors described his condition as stable. 4 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted April 15, 2014 Report Share Posted April 15, 2014 A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his butt. Doctors described his condition as stable.Rectum? Damn near killed 'im! 1 Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
insanity Posted April 15, 2014 Report Share Posted April 15, 2014 A friend of mine asked if I have a texting package on my new phone "Nope, just my fingers & thumbs"Horrible mental image... :-) Quote "Insanity - you make my world a better place man, you really do! That shit is awesome! :D" - Guzzi- My first challenge My battle Log: Insanity: Warrior Monk Honorary Ranger dubbed by DarK_RaideR, 1000 Pound club (875 of 1000) Link to comment
Guzzi Posted April 19, 2014 Report Share Posted April 19, 2014 Have you heard about that new restaurant that's opened on the moon? Apparently the food is great, but there's just no atmosphere. 1 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted April 19, 2014 Report Share Posted April 19, 2014 I gave all my dead batteries away today. Free of charge! 1 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
insanity Posted April 20, 2014 Report Share Posted April 20, 2014 4 Quote "Insanity - you make my world a better place man, you really do! That shit is awesome! :D" - Guzzi- My first challenge My battle Log: Insanity: Warrior Monk Honorary Ranger dubbed by DarK_RaideR, 1000 Pound club (875 of 1000) Link to comment
spiderdust44 Posted April 20, 2014 Report Share Posted April 20, 2014 Why are their no walmarts in Iraq?They would all be targets!! 1 Quote Link to comment
Guzzi Posted April 22, 2014 Report Share Posted April 22, 2014 What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?About 5000 miles. 2 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted April 22, 2014 Report Share Posted April 22, 2014 Last night me and my friend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.... 4 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Salty Posted April 22, 2014 Report Share Posted April 22, 2014 Here hee hee did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil! Hee hee hee sorry 3 Quote Link to comment
Salty Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 3 daughters were sitting at the table with their dad. The first said "daddy why do they call me rose" he said "when you were born a rose floated in the wind and landed on your head". The next daughter said " why do the call me Lilly" to which he replied "when you were a born a rose floated in the wind and landed on your head". The third daughter said "dggdhfgfcgghgvfbfddgghhjjababababaababababg" to which he said "SHUT UP BRICK". Lol mean but funny 3 Quote Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 A young Cherokee boy asked his father, "How did I get my name?" The father replied, "When each of my children were born, I stepped out of the tepee and the first thing I saw became their name. Like your brother, Silver Cloud. And your sister, Running Deer. Why do you ask, Two Dogs Humping?" 2 Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
cracked_belle Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 Quote there is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or Why or Who you are. you want one and I want one, but there isn't one. it comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. and yet you are all that you have, so you must be Enough. there is no other way. ― Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia Link to comment
The Swedish Ninja Posted April 23, 2014 Report Share Posted April 23, 2014 In Sweden and Norway, we often make jokes about each other, and here is a few from the Swedish side: - Why was the national library in Oslo closed?- The book was checked out -Why does Norwegians crawl on the floor in supermarkets?- They are looking for low prices - How do you sink a Norwegian submarine?- You swim down and knock on the door No offence to the people of Norway 3 Quote Level 3: NinjaCurrent Challenge with the Druids (Nov 2nd-dec 13th) Every man I meet, is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him. Emerson Link to comment
Cr33g Posted April 24, 2014 Report Share Posted April 24, 2014 What do you call a pasta noodle that's a fake?An impasta. 2 Quote Link to comment
Guzzi Posted April 24, 2014 Report Share Posted April 24, 2014 A man walks into a bar and orders helicopter flavor chips. The barman replies "sorry mate we only do plain" 2 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted April 24, 2014 Report Share Posted April 24, 2014 What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back. 3 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
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