Guzzi Posted August 22, 2014 Report Share Posted August 22, 2014 I took the Birthday Card Shopping approachOpened it up, saw too many words, said "Nope" and put it backSorry JittersYeah, I didn't do it all in one sitting, I took about 3 goes to read it all. And after all that, the punch line doesn't really work with a British accent... Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Artinum Posted August 22, 2014 Report Share Posted August 22, 2014 Yeah, I didn't do it all in one sitting, I took about 3 goes to read it all. And after all that, the punch line doesn't really work with a British accent... Yeah. Bloody Americans. "Leather" is something entirely different. Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
Guzzi Posted August 23, 2014 Report Share Posted August 23, 2014 Shamelessly stolen from another forum...When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big tits. 5 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted August 23, 2014 Report Share Posted August 23, 2014 Hear about the dog who failed the oncology detection program? Turns out he had no sense of tumor. Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
Artinum Posted August 24, 2014 Report Share Posted August 24, 2014 What do you call a nosey pepper? Jalapeno business! Er, what? Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
alienjenn Posted August 24, 2014 Report Share Posted August 24, 2014 All up in yo.... (if you pronounce jalepeno kinda off) Quote Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting "doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom facebook battle log level 50 WOOT Backstory CNF2014 current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time) Spoiler * This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda * There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. * level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom * I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ... - I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move Link to comment
Artinum Posted August 24, 2014 Report Share Posted August 24, 2014 ...I see. Well, I spice that works. 2 Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
DarK_RaideR Posted September 5, 2014 Report Share Posted September 5, 2014 Guess it's pronounced as Jalap-ain't yo business Quote Lvl 65 Multitasker Link to comment
SevenofSeven Posted September 5, 2014 Report Share Posted September 5, 2014 Heard this today on the local crappy radio station:Child: Mummy, mummy, Daddy's going out!Mum: well pour some more petrol on!Child: Mummy I hate Daddy's guts.Mum: Well push them to the side and keep eating. 2 Quote Wait! What............? Link to comment
Artinum Posted September 5, 2014 Report Share Posted September 5, 2014 Ahh, I'd forgotten those. "Mummy, mummy, what's for dinner?""Shut up and get back in the oven!" 3 Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted September 18, 2014 Report Share Posted September 18, 2014 What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear. 3 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Nefiros Posted September 19, 2014 Report Share Posted September 19, 2014 I'm disgusted with myself for laughing so hard at that one jitters lol 1 Quote Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted September 22, 2014 Report Share Posted September 22, 2014 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Dilnad Posted September 23, 2014 Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 Pirate walks into a barBartender says "Did you know you have a steering wheel on your crotch?"Pirate says "Aye. It's drivin' me nuts" 2 Quote Hey. I've got a blog!! ----> The Dilnad Can! This is how I did it. This is how you too can do it! ----> http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2015/09/28/learn-how-an-office-worker-lost-100-lbs-saved-his-own-life-and-became-a-superhero/ Link to comment
Evermist Posted September 23, 2014 Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 A man walks into a bar.A second man walks into the bar.The third man ducks. 1 Quote Link to comment
Artinum Posted September 23, 2014 Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 A semibreve walks into a bar, in 4:4 time. 1 Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
Shortgorilla Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 How does Darth Vader like his toast? A little on the dark side. 2 Quote PVP Challenge (Deadlift and OHP): http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/69895-shorts-race-for-the-big-two-ongoing-challenge/ My Battle Log: http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/44606-shortgorilla-is-fat/ Link to comment
Guzzi Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 A blind man walks into a bar....It's the dogs fault really. 2 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 My blind friend went skydiving for the first time last week. I asked him if he'd do it again. No, I don't think so - he repliedDidn't you like it?Oh yeah, I loved it. It was the most exhilarating thing I've ever done. So how come you aren't going to do it again, I askedIt scared the bejesus out of the dog. 3 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Dilnad Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 2 antennas got married. The wedding was mediocre but the reception was great. Quote Hey. I've got a blog!! ----> The Dilnad Can! This is how I did it. This is how you too can do it! ----> http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2015/09/28/learn-how-an-office-worker-lost-100-lbs-saved-his-own-life-and-became-a-superhero/ Link to comment
cracked_belle Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 A man walks into a bar.A second man walks into the bar.The third man ducks.I don't care how many times I hear/read this one -- I laugh every damn time. XD Quote there is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or Why or Who you are. you want one and I want one, but there isn't one. it comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. and yet you are all that you have, so you must be Enough. there is no other way. ― Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia Link to comment
Sqthreer Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 What does the footprints marry? The footprincess BUUHAAAAAAAHAHAHAA 2 Quote Link to comment
Fearkiller Posted October 13, 2014 Report Share Posted October 13, 2014 "What's up with that ceiling?" - Gordon Freeman, Freeman's mind Overheard in a monastery:"A lot that's been happenun' in here, lately?""Don't brother telling me abbot it!" Quote "There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged | STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.1 | 15.2 | Milythaels' HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good. It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator "I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories "Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." - Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. "Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky "Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings "I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit "If you do strange things, strange things will happen!" "That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker Link to comment
TheMormonRebel Posted October 13, 2014 Report Share Posted October 13, 2014 Did you hear about the guy who got his left side cut off?! He's ALLRIGHT now! 2 Quote Starting: 330 Current: 320 Goal: 280 Go ahead and follow my personal mission to have sore arms! Level 0: Orc Warrior. STR 6 | STA 4.5 | DEX 0 | CON 0 | WIS 0 | CHA 0 Link to comment
Artinum Posted October 13, 2014 Report Share Posted October 13, 2014 Did you hear about the guy who got his left side cut off?! He's ALLRIGHT now! Sounds like a woman I know. Her name's Eileen. 2 Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
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