Overheard in the gym - Share!

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

Time to have a fun conversation with the wife!

 

not going to lie I did contemplate having that convo with her .... <.< ______>.>

 

You at least need to show her the envolope and tell her it happened, even if there is no intent on going. If she ever found out this happened and that you didn't tell her, explosions could occur.

 

I'm thinking you're just ultra oblivious. 

 

Probably this. You're not alone.

[Mark D]

You at least need to show her the envolope and tell her it happened, even if there is no intent on going. If she ever found out this happened and that you didn't tell her, explosions could occur.

 

Danger, danger Will Robinson!

 

Assuming you and your wife aren't going to participate, burn it, and the picture, and never mention it.

 

Or prepare to find a new gym, because your wife WILL wonder if you're going there for the work-out, or for the hot piece of tail who gave you the come-on.

 

If the other woman asks, just (politely) tell her you're married and not a swinger (again, assuming you're not).  Swingers understand that not everyone is into the lifestyle.

 

It's not your fault that she came on to you, and your wife might even be BRIEFLY flattered that another woman took an interest in her man.  Until one day when she's feeling fat/old/bloated/PMSy/etc, then she'll start to wonder if you're fooling around on her, THEN explosions will occur.  You can be 100% innocent, but you'll still take the heat for it.

 

That's my nickel's worth of free advice, guaranteed to be worth what you paid for it.

[Why not?]

Okay so can't remember if it was on this thread or a different one where there was a discussion about flirting going on but this happened today at the gym, how would you guys have handled this (keep in mind I am happily married) I work for a bank (who will remain nameless at this time) where we on the teller line were required to wear sweater vests. Recently the bank had decided that we do not have to wear the vests anymore and we can dress as we want as long as it is professional (such as shirt and tie for men, can do sweaters or jackets if desired)

On my way into the gym today, I chatted with one of the girls that is there who I have talked to before, She asked if I had a day off (I wasn't wearing my sweater vest) told her "Nope, bank finally changed the dress code so I can wear other things now." She laughs, puts her hand on my arm and said I looked nice then made a comment about how the Iron marathon's I was doing were working well (pyramid curl system). Now keep in mind that I love my wife and I think that she is beautiful, but OMG this girl was drop dead, Victoria secret runway model gorgeous

So I was at the gym and was doing some accessory work today. When I was getting ready to leave, I found an envelope on my notebook and the girl walking way. I went ahead and tossed the book and envelope into my bag, got changed and headed to work. Anyways On my lunch break I remember the envelope. It turns out she is hosting a swingers party! She included a hand written note on the back of the invite, it said

I hope you and that hot piece of ass were teaching to squat can cum over There was also a naked picture of her.

 

*Insert obligatory Admiral Ackbar meme here

[lctrc]

You at least need to show her the envolope and tell her it happened, even if there is no intent on going. If she ever found out this happened and that you didn't tell her, explosions could occur.

 

Seconded.  No good can come of not telling her - the best you're doing is hoping for no bad to come of not telling her.  If she is the type that would take it badly, then if she ever does find out it will be even worse - and in the meantime you are stewing on this secret (forever?)

 

Another piece of unsolicited advice:  even if your wife takes it (*ahem*) "better than expected", steer clear of such invitations from people who don't already know that you are like-minded beforehand - even from Victoria Secret runway models.

[Mark D]

Seconded.  No good can come of not telling her - the best you're doing is hoping for no bad to come of not telling her.  If she is the type that would take it badly, then if she ever does find out it will be even worse - and in the meantime you are stewing on this secret (forever?)

 

Another piece of unsolicited advice:  even if your wife takes it (*ahem*) "better than expected", steer clear of such invitations from people who don't already know that you are like-minded beforehand - even from Victoria Secret runway models.

 

I repeat, PLENTY of bad can come from telling her.

 

Of course, the fact that you put this story on the Internet means it's that much more likely she WILL find out about it.

 

This wasn't just some chick flirting with you, or smiling/winking.  This was an invitation to get down and dirty with her, complete with a picture of the goods being offered.  I don't know many women who'd have taken such an invitation in stride.

 

Her thought process will go as follows:

 

1)  Well, my husband got propositioned by a woman at the gym.  That's funny!  And he IS good looking.

 

2) Hmmm, he's still going to the gym.  I wonder if the woman who came on to him still goes there.

 

3) I wonder what he might have said to the slut to give her the impression he'd be interested.  And just WHO was that hot piece of ass he was teaching to squat?????

 

4) Damn, I'm fat and ugly.  And he's going to the gym AGAIN.  Has he been going to the gym more often lately?  And he's been using that new soap that smells so much nicer.

 

5) He bought new gym clothes?  Why, what was wrong with the old ones????

 

and so on.

[insanity]

It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission... :-)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I felt the need to counter all the good advice with some bad...

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

I repeat, PLENTY of bad can come from telling her.

 

Of course, the fact that you put this story on the Internet means it's that much more likely she WILL find out about it.

 

This wasn't just some chick flirting with you, or smiling/winking.  This was an invitation to get down and dirty with her, complete with a picture of the goods being offered.  I don't know many women who'd have taken such an invitation in stride.

 

Her thought process will go as follows:

 

1)  Well, my husband got propositioned by a woman at the gym.  That's funny!  And he IS good looking.

 

2) Hmmm, he's still going to the gym.  I wonder if the woman who came on to him still goes there.

 

3) I wonder what he might have said to the slut to give her the impression he'd be interested.  And just WHO was that hot piece of ass he was teaching to squat?????

 

4) Damn, I'm fat and ugly.  And he's going to the gym AGAIN.  Has he been going to the gym more often lately?  And he's been using that new soap that smells so much nicer.

 

5) He bought new gym clothes?  Why, what was wrong with the old ones????

 

and so on.

 

You need to have an open and honest relationship with your spouse for a happy and solid marriage. The ones where people hide shit or feel like they have to are the ones that don't work out.

[Silo]

You need to have an open and honest relationship with your spouse for a happy and solid marriage. The ones where people hide shit or feel like they have to are the ones that don't work out.

Have to agree with Gainsdalf here. I would be way more upset that my husband didn't tell me about this than if he did. The assumption that his wife is going to go into oh-no-I'm-fat-and-ugly-and-my-husband-is-a-dirty-cheater mode is pretty gross.

[Mark D]

You need to have an open and honest relationship with your spouse for a happy and solid marriage. The ones where people hide shit or feel like they have to are the ones that don't work out.

 

There's a difference between being open and honest and dumping crap on her she doesn't need.  Obviously I don't know his wife, but I know most women I've known would dwell on an episode like this.  For instance, my wife isn't especially jealous, but she does sometimes have self-worth issues.  If she found out a woman (especially a beautiful woman) gave me an invitation to an orgy AND a nude picture of herself she'd go pretty much thru the progression I list above.  Why do that to her?  Or me?  

 

Maybe his wife is self-confident enough to deal with this and laugh it off.  Or maybe she'd do so at first, then would tell one of her girlfriends about it (jokingly), who may then plant a seed ("And you don't mind that he's still going to that gym and seeing that woman?").  

[Sam Ashen]

You need to have an open and honest relationship with your spouse for a happy and solid marriage. The ones where people hide shit or feel like they have to are the ones that don't work out.

 

Single guy here.  Therefore no position to weigh in.  However, I am inclined to agree with what Gainz is saying rather than argue.

 

Deal with it now, and:

 

 

 

Her thought process will go as follows:

 

1)  Well, my husband got propositioned by a woman at the gym.  That's funny!  And he IS good looking.

 

2) Hmmm, he's still going to the gym.  I wonder if the woman who came on to him still goes there.

 

3) I wonder what he might have said to the slut to give her the impression he'd be interested.  And just WHO was that hot piece of ass he was teaching to squat?????

 

4) Damn, I'm fat and ugly.  And he's going to the gym AGAIN.  Has he been going to the gym more often lately?  And he's been using that new soap that smells so much nicer.

 

5) He bought new gym clothes?  Why, what was wrong with the old ones????

 

and so on.

 

I think the process goes to "It's a two-way street and it got THIS far?"  But I don't understand ladies.

 

On the other hand - several years ago I had an incident (not gym related) where somebody's husband suddenly jumped ship.  Text.  Text.  Text.  Text.  "Hey I actually don't have the kids around.  Want to do something?"

 

So my opinion, based on zero knowledge, is if you deal with it now, she will question what you did that caused it to get that far.  Deal with it later, and she will question what else you did.

 

EDIT:  Crosspost.

 

 

 

Have to agree with Gainsdalf here. I would be way more upset that my husband didn't tell me about this than if he did. The assumption that his wife is going to go into oh-no-I'm-fat-and-ugly-and-my-husband-is-a-dirty-cheater mode is pretty gross.

 

Really interested in your opinion.  EDIT:  The underlined parts.

[Tomu-san]

Okay so can't remember if it was on this thread or a different one where there was a discussion about flirting going on but this happened today at the gym, how would you guys have handled this (keep in mind I am happily married) I work for a bank (who will remain nameless at this time) where we on the teller line were required to wear sweater vests. Recently the bank had decided that we do not have to wear the vests anymore and we can dress as we want as long as it is professional (such as shirt and tie for men, can do sweaters or jackets if desired)

On my way into the gym today, I chatted with one of the girls that is there who I have talked to before, She asked if I had a day off (I wasn't wearing my sweater vest) told her "Nope, bank finally changed the dress code so I can wear other things now." She laughs, puts her hand on my arm and said I looked nice then made a comment about how the Iron marathon's I was doing were working well (pyramid curl system). Now keep in mind that I love my wife and I think that she is beautiful, but OMG this girl was drop dead, Victoria secret runway model gorgeous

So I was at the gym and was doing some accessory work today. When I was getting ready to leave, I found an envelope on my notebook and the girl walking way. I went ahead and tossed the book and envelope into my bag, got changed and headed to work. Anyways On my lunch break I remember the envelope. It turns out she is hosting a swingers party! She included a hand written note on the back of the invite, it said

I hope you and that hot piece of ass were teaching to squat can cum over There was also a naked picture of her.

You, sir, are an inspiration.

 

And I have to put in with the full disclosure camp. Not telling the wife will only bite you in the ass later. And by bite I mean stab. And by ass I mean neck.

 

But once you tell her, NEVER, EVER bring it up again. Ever. EVAR!!!

[Silo]

I'm sitting here wondering how on earth I would feel hurt if my husband came home and said "Guess what happened to me today? A woman at the gym squeezed my bicep, gave me a naked picture of herself, and invited us (or me? who were you teaching to squat?) to a swinger's party." Because my reaction would be to start laughing and then ask questions like have you ever seen this woman before? How old is she? What did you say? Is there an actual invitation? Can I see it? Do you think she printed this at home or at Kinko's? Can you imagine what the Kinko's people thought? Maybe she sent it out to a place like Vistaprint. Does Vistaprint do invitations? I know they do business cards. I wonder if she has a business card that has her name and then SWINGER under it like a job title...

[Mark D]

Well guy, you now have two differing opinions on how to handle the situation.  Only you know your wife well enough to decide what to do.  Whatever you do is likely as not to be wrong anyway, you just have to try (and probably fail) to find the less-wrong option.  Maybe you should decide what to do, then do the opposite.  

 

Think of all the ways either option could go wrong.  None of those will happen, but something you never imagined will.

 

Oh, and for what it's worth, I think anyone who would make an offer like that to one half of a married couple, without knowing they're into the lifestyle, is an ass.  You either approach both people together with the invitation, or you find out if they're into it before extending the offer.  That would have saved all this hassle.

[Oramac]

Let's just get this straight here.  What he does with all this depends entirely on his wife.  We're all third parties relating how we would react, or expect people to react based on our experiences.  His wife might laugh, and she might not.  In the end, it's a decision to be made based on how she's going to take it.  

 

My personal opinion, I would tell her.  HOWEVER! My opinion is based on my experiences and the relationships I've had in the past.  Pwallace's relationships/experience and his wifes may be entirely different from mine, necessitating a different response.  

 

In the end, my friend, it's up to you.  Don't do something just because a bunch of people on the internet told you to (or not to). 

[insanity]

I have to note, I would tell her, but then hold on to it. As women are prone to bring things back up,and if she does or if it explodes right away, then "You regret being honest with her"

[Why not?]

May I suggest a compromise?

 

Burn the envelope and picture. There is really no need to show your wife a naked photo of another woman. Once that is done, tell your wife. Honesty is important. A caveat to this would be that timing is also important. The middle of a fight is bad timing.

I would also steer clear of this person in the future. Someone who doesn't respect your marriage isn't someone you want to hang around.

[Silo]

May I suggest a compromise?

Burn the envelope and picture. There is really no need to show your wife a naked photo of another woman. Once that is done, tell your wife. Honesty is important. A caveat to this would be that timing is also important. The middle of a fight is bad timing.

I would also steer clear of this person in the future. Someone who doesn't respect your marriage isn't someone you want to hang around.

This is a great suggestion.

[Barfly]

I would:

Burn it - kill it with fire!

Not tell the wife.

Forget about it.

If - in the unlikely event it came back to haunt me - my reply to the inevitable "Why were you keeping it a secret?" question:

"Because I never considered it for a second".

[StillWaters]

Saw a guy yesterday who only had one hand and was deadlifting three plates like a boss.

[pwallace]

Thank you all for the advice

1)the "Hott piece of ass" was my wife

2) talked to her about it last night, I told her about the invite and the pic (which I put through the shredder at work) her reaction:

First off is she cute? Secondly she said that the writing on the back of the invitation look like it was from a bad porno scrapped. Then proceeded to say that well maybe if she was 30 pounds lighter and we didn't have plans this weekend...

I SURVIVED! Although the Akbar it's a trap was running through my head when she asked if the other girl was cute

Saw said other female at the gym today who continue to flirt I thanked her for the invite and told her we weren't available this weekend however maybe sometime the three of us could go out and grab drinks. Per the wife's suggestion.

We will see what the future holds up

Also back to what this thread is actually about one arm three plates and dead lifting dude is badass!

Sent from my phone, through the banging of weights, to the chimp translators aboard the tardis powered by the dylithiam crystal flux capacitor.

[insanity]

Thank you all for the advice

1)the "Hott piece of ass" was my wife

2) talked to her about it last night, I told her about the invite and the pic (which I put through the shredder at work) her reaction:

First off is she cute? Secondly she said that the writing on the back of the invitation look like it was from a bad porno scrapped. Then proceeded to say that well maybe if she was 30 pounds lighter and we didn't have plans this weekend...

I SURVIVED! Although the Akbar it's a trap was running through my head when she asked if the other girl was cute

Saw said other female at the gym today who continue to flirt I thanked her for the invite and told her we weren't available this weekend however maybe sometime the three of us could go out and grab drinks. Per the wife's suggestion.

We will see what the future holds up

Also back to what this thread is actually about one arm three plates and dead lifting dude is badass!

Sent from my phone, through the banging of weights, to the chimp translators aboard the tardis powered by the dylithiam crystal flux capacitor.

Guy walks through mine field.... makes it out other side unscathed... news at 11.

[matty_mcfly]

Guy walks through mine field.... makes it out other side unscathed... news at 11.

literal lol

[Oramac]

Sent from my phone, through the banging of weights, to the chimp translators aboard the tardis powered by the dylithiam crystal flux capacitor.

Sounds like it went well, then.  Glad to hear it! 

[Mark D]

I would:

Burn it - kill it with fire!

Not tell the wife.

Forget about it.

If - in the unlikely event it came back to haunt me - my reply to the inevitable "Why were you keeping it a secret?" question:

"Because I never considered it for a second".

 

 

Ditto, except my last line would be "I get emails every day from beautiful Russian women who want to marry me, I don't tell you about every one of those either."

 

Although having read the subsequent posts, it seems he IS considering it, and so is his wife, which just goes to show how little I know about women, despite being married to one for over 15 years.

 

Maybe it's a generational thing?

[Phytomancer]

Don't ask me. I haven't touch a woman's hand in what feels like a hundred years.