Battle Kitten: Ascension

[athousandwords]

We do a "Hobbithon" marathon (all 6 movies over the course of 2 days) every three years.  Well, three years ago it was just LOTR, last we added the Hobbitses.  It's definitely good times.

 

Sorry to hear about all the sucky health issues and PCOS. I'm pretty sure that when I was in college I never saw a regular doctor and didn't even have a PCP. In fact, I don't really have one now since I changed insurance two years ago and haven't been to a general doc since (but I have a wonderful gyno that I'd recommend if you're willing to drive all-the-fucking-way to Leesburg).  

 

Exercise wise.... yoga?  Maybe some restorative poses or just going through the sun salutations very gently? It might help with the frustration as well.

 

[fleaball]

6 hours ago, athousandwords said:

We do a "Hobbithon" marathon (all 6 movies over the course of 2 days) every three years.  Well, three years ago it was just LOTR, last we added the Hobbitses.  It's definitely good times.

 

Sorry to hear about all the sucky health issues and PCOS. I'm pretty sure that when I was in college I never saw a regular doctor and didn't even have a PCP. In fact, I don't really have one now since I changed insurance two years ago and haven't been to a general doc since (but I have a wonderful gyno that I'd recommend if you're willing to drive all-the-fucking-way to Leesburg).  

 

Exercise wise.... yoga?  Maybe some restorative poses or just going through the sun salutations very gently? It might help with the frustration as well.

 

I actually haven't seen the Hobbit movies. I should get on that. 

 

Mostly I just wish I could keep seeing one person to keep everything straight. I try to see the same one at Student Health every time I go but sometimes it's not possible. And they're limited in what they can do there, so most of the time it's go there (all the way across the city), explain my shit, get a referral to someone else, and then have to explain it all the next time I go back to Student Health so they can update my record. I'm going to poke around Yelp and try to find someone a little closer than Leesburg, but I'll keep that in mind. 

 

Good call on the yoga. I dismissed it because I was thinking of things that require standing on one foot or like, downward dog which would aggravate my shoulder. I'll look into other stuff.

[fleaball]

Today was shit. 

 

- Car AC is dead again. I sincerely fucking regret not getting rid of the damn thing and just keeping the check. I also want to blame my friend's mom's boyfriend for the AC thing because it worked fine until after I got the suspension done, but I can't prove anything. (I also regret letting him fix the car to begin with. I thought it was just my anxiety at first but there's something about the whole thing that's not sitting right with me.)

- Went all the way to school for a half hour advising appointment that was a waste of time. I'm pretty sure I chose an in-person appointment over Skype just to get myself out of the house, but that was dumb because all it did was piss me off. The advisor for my program is more than useless (as evidenced by my getting completely fucked wrt probation) but I thought my questions were relatively simple. Apparently not. And she contradicted shit she's told me in past appointments. 

- I totally need new friends because I just keep getting shit from people instead of support. Present company excluded of course. 

 

This entire post was going to be a super long rant earlier but I decided to try being productive instead. I did a negligible amount of cleaning and got 3/25 questions done on my midterm that's due in 26 hours. And fought a losing battle with my computer but whatever. 

 

Also did not hear from gyno lady about the ultrasound, but the office called me again about the IUD benefits and to schedule the ultrasound for that which may or may not wind up costing me $385? "So please call us to make that appointment." Sure I'll get right on that. Thanks.  

 

I just need a vacation from the world. Rawr.

[Owlet]

 

1 hour ago, fleaball said:

- I totally need new friends because I just keep getting shit from people instead of support. Present company excluded of course. 

 

[fleaball]

I want a cuddly cat so bad. D: Neither of mine were the cuddly headbutting sleep on you kind. Clearly we got them from the reject pile. 

 

*headbutts @Owlet*

 

why yes I am drinking rn how could you tell? I was about to get ready for bed when the worlds most epic thunderstorm rolled through so I'm just chilling and waiting it out. 

[Owlet]

2 minutes ago, fleaball said:

 

I want a cuddly cat so bad

 

Me too! I was just talking about that this morning in fact. It just sucks trying to find a flat/flat mates when you have a pet so I don't want to commit until I'm more settled. Stupid neighbour's cat has been absent recently, it's like he has a real family or something. Sniff. *headbutt*  

 

oooh I like thunderstorms, so dramatic. Not so good for the sleepies though. 
 

Balls about AC and car n stuff, that sucks. But yay for being productive! 'tis the way forward I believe. 

[fleaball]

Same here with pets. My roommate probably wouldn't care but finding a place would be terrible.  

 

i could probably sleep through the end of the world. What's keeping me from going to bed is the super intense lightning and not wanting to get electrocuted if I turn in the sink. It may be silly but that's one of the few things that scares me about storms. 

 

I was much less productive than I needed to be, but I did feel better having gotten some stuff done. Baby steps. 

[Severine]

I'm just going to leave this here: http://www.yelp.com/biz/crumbs-and-whiskers-washington

 

I really wish I could send a message back through time and tell you to ditch the car and keep the check. Although probably if we could send messages to you back through time you might have some higher-priority instructions than that. Oh and I agree that situation with the friend's mother's boyfriend sounded dodgy in a way I couldn't put my finger on. My grandmother has a rule that if the way you know someone requires more than one apostrophe to describe, you shouldn't count on them for anything important. 

 

I've rarely found an academic advisory office of any use whatsoever. In my experience, most of them don't understand the finer points of complicated academic bureaucracy so as soon as you have any sort of special or complicated situation they have no clue. But most never tell you they have no clue, they just give you wrong advice - and then if you follow it and it fucks you over, the fact that you relied on their word means nothing to the university. I always just read the academic regulations and then circumvent the advisors and go directly to the registrar or the funding office or whoever I need to deal with and find out from the people who actually do the work/make the decisions what I need. It takes a lot longer but in the end it's less hassle.

 

By the way, I've had two IUDs put in and neither time did I need an ultrasound beforehand to figure out where they were going to place it. And I'm not having these IUDs inserted in murky basements or anything - proper obgyn places. Obviously I don't know best medical practices, so maybe there are legit reasons for doing it, but like...if my gyno in a major Boston hospital isn't doing it, it's definitely not universally agreed upon as necessary.

[Sylvaa]

Cuddly cats are fine until they try sleep on your neck while you are trying to sleep. Or sit on your computer when you are trying to work. 

 

If you need a friend, I can come down!

[athousandwords]

If you ever want a friend to hang with (and maybe meet up at that cat cafe that Severine mentioned?!) I'm down!

 

Sorry to hear about the car - having no A/C in this weather is total shite.  Congrats on channeling the ranting into productive work - and good luck with the rest of the midterm!

 

10 hours ago, fleaball said:

What's keeping me from going to bed is the super intense lightning and not wanting to get electrocuted if I turn in the sink. It may be silly but that's one of the few things that scares me about storms. 

 

Well.  Thank you for that new fear....  >_>

[fleaball]

Blaaaaaaah I didn't leave myself enough time to reply before I have to run out the door, but hugs in all your general directions and I'll get back to you later. >>

[fleaball]

Ha.  Hahaha. I have to come up with a mantra that says something about who I am and who I want to be (will be?) and say it in the mirror five times every morning between now and next week. It has to be something personal and not just the generic "I am awesome!!  " things you find on google. I am not pleased. She was like "yeah 90% of the time when I assign this people come back a week later and they haven't done anything." And I was like "challenge accept- fuck." 

 

It might take me longer than expected to reply to earlier posts because I'll have to scramble on that midterm when I get home. It's open book but I have to figure out where exactly to find the information I need since the setup of it is stupid. But look at me being responsible and planning to stay off the interwebs til my homework is done. Whee. 

[Owlet]

4 hours ago, fleaball said:

But look at me being responsible and planning to stay off the interwebs til my homework is done. Whee. 

Oh heck yes! Go! Go! 

 

4 hours ago, fleaball said:

something about who I am and who I want to be

I am Battle Kitten and I'm going to take over the worrrld muahahaha.  Wow this is difficult actually. Good luck!

[Sylvaa]

4 hours ago, fleaball said:

Ha.  Hahaha. I have to come up with a mantra that says something about who I am and who I want to be (will be?) and say it in the mirror five times every morning between

 

Like this?

Who I am:

 

Who I want to be:

 

OR!

 

Who I am:

 

Who I want to be:

 

[fleaball]

I'm on the last goddamn question and drawing a blank. Rawr. I'm giving it a half hour (it's multi-part, with drawing a graph and coming up with a bunch of shit, so that's reasonable) and then just giving up and scanning the thing to submit two hours before it's due. I have a 98 average for both the online quizzes (25% of the final grade) and discussion posts (15%). This midterm is worth 25% and I'm confident on most of what I've done so far. I can afford to lose a few points.

[fleaball]

Woof. Okay. So apparently yellow highlighter doesn't show up on my scanner? It didn't particularly like my colored pens either but they're clear enough. This is why we finish before the deadline. 

 

15 hours ago, Severine said:

I'm just going to leave this here: http://www.yelp.com/biz/crumbs-and-whiskers-washington

 

I really wish I could send a message back through time and tell you to ditch the car and keep the check. Although probably if we could send messages to you back through time you might have some higher-priority instructions than that. Oh and I agree that situation with the friend's mother's boyfriend sounded dodgy in a way I couldn't put my finger on. My grandmother has a rule that if the way you know someone requires more than one apostrophe to describe, you shouldn't count on them for anything important. 

 

I've rarely found an academic advisory office of any use whatsoever. In my experience, most of them don't understand the finer points of complicated academic bureaucracy so as soon as you have any sort of special or complicated situation they have no clue. But most never tell you they have no clue, they just give you wrong advice - and then if you follow it and it fucks you over, the fact that you relied on their word means nothing to the university. I always just read the academic regulations and then circumvent the advisors and go directly to the registrar or the funding office or whoever I need to deal with and find out from the people who actually do the work/make the decisions what I need. It takes a lot longer but in the end it's less hassle.

 

By the way, I've had two IUDs put in and neither time did I need an ultrasound beforehand to figure out where they were going to place it. And I'm not having these IUDs inserted in murky basements or anything - proper obgyn places. Obviously I don't know best medical practices, so maybe there are legit reasons for doing it, but like...if my gyno in a major Boston hospital isn't doing it, it's definitely not universally agreed upon as necessary.

Holy shit they have yoga classes with the cats too. I looked at it forever ago and thought it was crazy expensive but I must have misread something. Wheeee. 

 

Yeahhh I think I was just fixated on not losing the car. Like, realistically it's not a huge deal not to have one but I got very "if I don't have a car of my own here are all the things I can never do again. :x " Which is just not true. (Also it belonged to my grandfather so I'm probably more attached than I should be.) I might adopt your grandmother's policy. I have a habit of ignoring/dismissing anxiety/things that don't feel right when I should actually be listening to them, as opposed to the anxious feelings that I should work through. Grr. 

 

My advisor is just not good. Her answer to pretty much everything is "well that depends." Le sigh. All I wanted from her was to double check "hey you said I could do X before, so how do I go about doing that?" And I got "actually that's not the way it works and might not be possible. You should email the program director." Ugh. During undergrad the only appointments I went to were the ones that were required, and even then it was "hi here's the classes I'm taking between now and when I graduate, please lift the registration hold, kthx." Will def be emailing the PD once I get my thoughts in order on what I want to do. 

 

Yeahhh I feel like it's just a way to scam people out of money. My therapist apparently focused on reproductive health when she was doing her PsyD and she was alternately cringing and making amazing faces while I recounted the story. But she also recommended her GYN immediately (it's an old dude, womp) and I just checked and he's in-network for me so yay. Except he's in fucking Maryland, on the opposite side from me. Whyyyy is there nothing of value where I live? D:

 

13 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

Cuddly cats are fine until they try sleep on your neck while you are trying to sleep. Or sit on your computer when you are trying to work. 

 

If you need a friend, I can come down!

One of mine does both those things to my brother but no one else. I suppose I shouldn't complain about that part. 

 

<3 you're the best. It's all good though. By which I mean you travel for work and have a family so please don't feel like you have to drive 100 miles to hold my hand. If you want to hang out anytime before the Spartan happens I'm all for it but it's not necessary! I feel like it looks weird telling you not to come down and then telling @athousandwordswe should hang out, but it's the difference of one or both of us hopping on the metro vs you taking what is at best the world's most obnoxious day trip. So all of this tripping ove myself right now is me just saying please don't go out of your way lol. 

 

In terms of friends, it's more just general frustration at the people who exist here suddenly not responding in ways I need them to. Like making shitty comments where I would accept even the vaguest of sympathetic noises. Which I get from everyone here so it balances out. I was talking about it with my therapist today though and she brought up a good point: it may not be that my friends suddenly suck, but that in working through shit with my therapist and becoming more open to emotional shit and actually reaching out to people instead of bottling shit up, I and my expectations have changed instead. It wouldn't affect things here because we're all here to give and get support anyway, but where I'd accept snark and sarcasm from other people before as a way to deflect emotions, now it's pissing me off. I'm not sure I notice this so much in myself, but she thinks I've changed a lot since we started. So meh. 

 

12 hours ago, athousandwords said:

If you ever want a friend to hang with (and maybe meet up at that cat cafe that Severine mentioned?!) I'm down!

 

Sorry to hear about the car - having no A/C in this weather is total shite.  Congrats on channeling the ranting into productive work - and good luck with the rest of the midterm!

 

 

Well.  Thank you for that new fear....  >_>

I swear to god hitting you up has been on my to-do list forever. I'm sorry! Totally down for going to pet cats and drink coffee with you. Or I'll drink coffee for both of us if you're still avoiding caffeine. =P 

 

So sorry! My mother always had a thing about not letting us take showers during a storm and somehow I picked it up. Ugh. 

 

3 hours ago, Owlet said:

Oh heck yes! Go! Go! 

 

I am Battle Kitten and I'm going to take over the worrrld muahahaha.  Wow this is difficult actually. Good luck!

Hahaha I'm not sure how I would explain Battle Kitten to my therapist but I would be all for that. Maybe I'll find a way to work it in.

 

Also @Sylvaa I didn't quote your last post for size but yes. I am claiming all of the above. 

 

Okay. How did it get to be 12:30 all of a sudden? It needs to be bedtime because I'm getting up at ass o'clock again to take my car to the shop. Gonna ask them to call me with the price before they fix the thing first, because ugh. Just in case. I'll bring a book and hang out at Starbucks if it's a short thing, otherwise I'll come home and attempt grocery shopping before it gets stupid hot. Meh. 

 

Also, my therapist was actually... excited is the wrong word but she seemed kind of happy about the PCOS thing, because apparently the related hormones being out of whack can fuck with anxiety, so if I wind up taking medication for it some of my problems may solve themselves. We'll see how that goes because I am shit at remembering to take medicine. First I have to make an appointment with her guy. And try to get a copy of the ultrasound they just did. She said it's not uncommon for doctors to just not do anything about PCOS? Like it wouldn't surprise her if I don't hear back from the shitty doctor about it at all? That's exciting. 

 

Okay. Sleep time. 

[fleaball]

Totally blanked on doing the mantra thing. Because of course my roommate came home last night so this morning I was waiting for her to go to work before I got up and showered, and she wound up not getting ready at her usual time because she felt sick. So I wasted a bunch of time. And when I get to the car place, the dude is scrambling because there are 8 million cars there already. They don't do appointments, you just show up in the morning and cross your fingers. He said they'd get it done today but I have no idea how long it's going to take. I might just live at this Starbucks I'm in. So tired. Grumpy flea. 

[athousandwords]

9 hours ago, fleaball said:

I swear to god hitting you up has been on my to-do list forever. I'm sorry! Totally down for going to pet cats and drink coffee with you. Or I'll drink coffee for both of us if you're still avoiding caffeine. =P 

 

*looks at coffee I'm currently drinking* ...nope, coffee sounds good!

 

I just checked out the Crumbs & Whiskers site - looks like they have pretty good availability on normal days. I can really only do their 6 or 7:15pm timeslots on weekdays, but most weekends are pretty open for me. Unfortunately the cat yoga is sold out for the rest of the month, but maybe in August?  Also they have a wine and movie night which sounds awesome.  

 

9 hours ago, fleaball said:

In terms of friends, it's more just general frustration at the people who exist here suddenly not responding in ways I need them to. Like making shitty comments where I would accept even the vaguest of sympathetic noises. Which I get from everyone here so it balances out. I was talking about it with my therapist today though and she brought up a good point: it may not be that my friends suddenly suck, but that in working through shit with my therapist and becoming more open to emotional shit and actually reaching out to people instead of bottling shit up, I and my expectations have changed instead. It wouldn't affect things here because we're all here to give and get support anyway, but where I'd accept snark and sarcasm from other people before as a way to deflect emotions, now it's pissing me off. I'm not sure I notice this so much in myself, but she thinks I've changed a lot since we started. So meh. 

 

That makes a ton of sense. I love your therapist a little for being so insightful (yes, I know, job description).  But it makes total sense that your friends are used to deflecting emotions, and don't quite know how to deal with a more open, honest Flea. Maybe you could have heart to heart with one or two of the friends you feel closest to, and let them know what you're going through right now and that the snark and sarcasm doesn't sit well when you're trying to be open with them.  

[fleaball]

25 minutes ago, athousandwords said:

*looks at coffee I'm currently drinking* ...nope, coffee sounds good!

 

I just checked out the Crumbs & Whiskers site - looks like they have pretty good availability on normal days. I can really only do their 6 or 7:15pm timeslots on weekdays, but most weekends are pretty open for me. Unfortunately the cat yoga is sold out for the rest of the month, but maybe in August?  Also they have a wine and movie night which sounds awesome.

I'm cool with whenever so long as it's not this weekend. I have no evening or weekend plans for the foreseeable future so just let me know when works best for you.  Boooo how dare cat yoga be sold out. Jerks. Wine and cats sounds amazing as well. 

 

30 minutes ago, athousandwords said:

That makes a ton of sense. I love your therapist a little for being so insightful (yes, I know, job description).  But it makes total sense that your friends are used to deflecting emotions, and don't quite know how to deal with a more open, honest Flea. Maybe you could have heart to heart with one or two of the friends you feel closest to, and let them know what you're going through right now and that the snark and sarcasm doesn't sit well when you're trying to be open with them.

haha job description or not, it amazes me what she pulls out of the random things I say. I'm going to wait until the next time something unhelpful is said and then address it. That way I'll have something concrete to point to and be like "hey, I'd appreciate if you didn't say things like that and said this instead because reasons." (We discussed this plan so it's not just me deflecting lol.)

[fleaball]

Okay no, just sign me up for that rocket to Mars. I'm done. 

 

a) Car is going to cost $665 to fix because there's a leak in the condenser. Whatever the fuck that means. I'm gonna go get it without having it fixed and just try to park under a fucking tree for the rest of the summer. I'm looking at something like this but I'd have to figure out where to mount it, because my neighborhood is not the kind where you can leave anything on your dash. Roommate basically just talked me down from looking into selling it but I'll still wind up weighing pros and cons at some point. I'm so pissed that for years nothing ever happened to it and suddenly it's just one thing after another.

 

B.) Called my mother to complain about it, find out that she and my father are both on vacation next week and were planning on coming to visit. As a surprise. What. The fuck. Luckily the shitty weather stopped them but fucking really? I know I say I have no life and I'm always home but seriously who fucking does that? I'm pissed off on principle. And also relieved because they would both flip their shit if they actually saw my neighborhood. It's not terrrrrible but it's in a gentrifying area so there's a mix of rundown buildings and there's a park across the street that homeless folks hang out in and oh have I mentioned both my parents are racist? Like to the point that when we went to Richmond years ago to check out the school before I applied, my father made sure he had his gun with him? Yeah it would have gone over swimmingly if they'd come down. 

 

Gonna go get the car, go grocery shopping so I don't have to leave the house until Tuesday, and then read a book or something. 

 

[athousandwords]

1 hour ago, fleaball said:

I'm cool with whenever so long as it's not this weekend. I have no evening or weekend plans for the foreseeable future so just let me know when works best for you.  Boooo how dare cat yoga be sold out. Jerks. Wine and cats sounds amazing as well. 

 

Cool - we'll figure it out.  I'm busy next weekend, but maybe they'll have another event coming up in August and we can plan on that.

 

Surprise parent visit??  Are you kidding me??  That is a horrible idea!  What were they thinking?!  Not to mention you could have had a huge assignment due at school and were planning to spend the weekend cramming or something. Ugh that would annoy the crap out of me (though, haha, parents with boundary issues is totally something I get...)

 

Sorry to hear about the car issues.  $665 is a lot of money. You could always try taking it somewhere for a second opinion?  That fan thing is pretty cool.  Seems like some people are able to put it in their center console, without mounting it? Or you maybe could use those velcro Command strips so that it's removable.

 

[fleaball]

Just now, athousandwords said:

 

Cool - we'll figure it out.  I'm busy next weekend, but maybe they'll have another event coming up in August and we can plan on that.

 

Surprise parent visit??  Are you kidding me??  That is a horrible idea!  What were they thinking?!  Not to mention you could have had a huge assignment due at school and were planning to spend the weekend cramming or something. Ugh that would annoy the crap out of me (though, haha, parents with boundary issues is totally something I get...)

 

Sorry to hear about the car issues.  $665 is a lot of money. You could always try taking it somewhere for a second opinion?  That fan thing is pretty cool.  Seems like some people are able to put it in their center console, without mounting it? Or you maybe could use those velcro Command strips so that it's removable.

 

Woohoo plans being vaguely set in motion! I might go by myself at some point. Just, you know, to make sure it's a quality establishment and all that. 

 

Right? Imagine if it were this week and I was all "lol sorry, going to the gynecologist and have a midterm to turn in, bye." 

 

Oooh velcro is a great idea. I was literally updating my last post as you replied - my mother called me back (after sternly telling me not to get it done and not waste any more money on this car) and told me to transfer money online from her bank account and get it fixed. Because I need the car to be able to go places and "I don't want you sitting in that damn house all day, you need to get out and do something." (When I pointed out that she was banking on the fact that I don't do anything when they were planning their surprise trip she just glossed over it.) 

 

Ugh. I'm upset about the entire situation from several different angles now. Scrapping the grocery trip so I can do it tomorrow when I pick up the car and not have to carry all my shit home. Instead I'm going to make tea and write about why all this shit with my parents is digging at me so that I can pick it apart with my therapist next week. Yay, being productive. >>

[Owlet]

Yay being productive! And yay that your parents are not paying you a surprise visit after all?! Eeeeep, what were they thinking. Have they not watched any sitcoms, it's such a cliche disaster waiting to happen. I mean I'm sure they meant well... but come on, you can't just intrude on peoples' lives like that with no warning and expect everything to be jiggy. Also wow, your car is needy right now. I guess if it was fine for ages though that stands to reason. But still. Come on car, give Flea a break would ya? Hope the writing and tea-drinking went well  

[fleaball]

Having gotten the car back now, I wonder if this leak has been happening gradually and just finally became an issue. Because now that it's fixed I realized it hasn't been working right for a while. (Having it on the lowest setting for the 1 mile drive home left me freezing. As opposed to the two hours and change driving to my friend's mom's last month where I was toggling it between the highest and second-highest settings and still not super cold.) The stupid thing is 15 years old though, and except for a dead battery and minor work after my grandfather got into an accident, it hasn't had any issues. So yeah, all of this was probably coming. It's just shitty that it comes on the heels of my accident, and of course my anxiety conflating all of this stuff with the weird situation getting it fixed by my friend's mom's bf. 

 

Blergh. There are so many things I need to do and for once my problem is that I want to do them all at the same time instead of not wanting to do any of them. Gonna go find something to cross off the list. At some point this year I will post something of substance. Maybe.

[Dagger]

I bought my first house about six months ago. Guess which month I've had the most trouble in? 

 

*waiting*

 

That is correct! The first month came with all sorts of small and big problems and since then there haven't been that many in such a concentrated time. It was like the house was telling me who was boss, or how stupid it is to buy a house when you know nothing about keeping a house and can barely keep up with normal household chores while living in an apartment. I am preserving.

 

And I hear you on the anxiety. I'm not sure if I'd be diagnosed with it (how do you even get diagnosed with it?), but the last 2-3 months have made me realize I probably have some kind of anxiety problem. Thankfully, leveling up my life helps me manage it since it generally comes from a lack of doing things. @Severine coined the term for me: obligation-induced anxiety. Anytime other people can notice how bad I am at doing the daily/weekly upkeep things, I get anxious if I've ignored/procrastinated on the task long enough.

 

(See! I delurked! XD)