Battle Kitten: Ascension

[Wobbegong]

13 minutes ago, fleaball said:

it’s dumb and I’m dumb

Well you're half right at least... 

 

Best of luck on your dumb test! You got this, Flea!

[NeverThatBored]

It may be dumb, but getting a job so you can move out is not! Good luck! 

[fleaball]

Did it. Still dumb, still don't wanna. Apparently I did great on the practice test. Then did the two real tests ones that they’re gonna review and get back to me about. I’m not even sure if there’s an actual interview or if this is the entire process tbh. Now on the train home. 

 

2 hours ago, NeverThatBored said:

It may be dumb, but getting a job so you can move out is not! Good luck! 

Eh, judging by both the ad and reviews online, it’s part-time, inconsistent, and only pays like $12-15/hr. So not moving out money. But yeah, something is better than nothing. 

 

In the meantime, I got an email back from a Lyft guy who’s actually been helping and he said I should have been given a new car the moment PepBoys said they had to keep it for more than a day. He’s refunding me for all the days I didn’t have it. Yay. I’m also getting calls from someone at Lyft about “a negative experience you had” and I’m not sure if it’s this one or just the fact that I give them strongly worded suggestions every time they send me a survey. But we keep playing phone tag so who knows. 

 

Now I get to go scarf food and spend my night driving. Whee. 

 

Oh. Great. Lyft phone girl said she’ll call in the morning when she gets into the office, because I said I’m free tomorrow. >_> oh well. It’s not like I’ll be staying out hella late tonight anyway. Apparently college kids here don’t do Thirtsy Thursdays because it’s always slow. 

[fleaball]

lol jk. By the time I go home, get changed, make and eat food, it will be late enough that it won’t be worth it. Fuck this stupid test and the fact that they only do it in the afternoons. I guess tonight will be job application night and tomorrow I’ll just drive forever. Fuck. 

[Wobbegong]

44 minutes ago, fleaball said:

tomorrow I’ll just drive forever.

With breaks for stretching and food, I hope. 

[fleaball]

39 minutes ago, Wobbegong said:

With breaks for stretching and food, I hope. 

lol what are those?

[fleaball]

On 11/29/2017 at 7:39 PM, Wobbegong said:

Really? I've never had any trouble with them as on-the-go food, as long as dressing is stored separately (so it doesn't get soggy). I wouldn't be able to eat a salad while driving, but you... probably shouldn't be doing that anyway...? 

Yeah I really should have specified that I meant portable as in "eat while driving." This is what I get for not being clear. 

 

On 11/29/2017 at 7:39 PM, Wobbegong said:

When I was in school it was popular to bring them in lunches and they'd easily last for several hours without refrigeration before being eaten. They'll get gross if you leave them sitting in your car for days, of course, but same-day should be fine. Do you only like to eat them cold or something? 

 

Another option I was thinking of was soup in a thermos. Although I'm not sure how filling it is, since I've heard the act of chewing is essential for signaling to your body that it should expect to be filling up. 

Mostly I'd shove it under my seat so I don't want the car heater to cook things despite ice packs.

 

12 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

True, I tend to take half a serving with lunch. but a whole bag of just about any dried fruit might have issues.

 

I just throw mine in an insulated lunchbox with an icepack and they are fine all day.

 

There you go. I just can't eat trail mix, ever. Since every one I have ever seen has nuts in it. So I forget such a thing exists

You could make your own if you wanted? Although then it's just like, dried fruit + candy so I guess there's little point to it.

 

9 hours ago, Bookish Badger said:

Ditto. Except I don't store the dressing separately, I just put the dressing on the bottom of the container, then the heavier stuff like meat, eggs, veggies, and then the lettuce on top. Give it a quick stir and snarf when ready to eat.

 

Costco has a brand of protein shakes called Premier Protein that aren't too bad. I mean, no protein shake actually tastes good but these taste ok. They're shelf-stable so no refrigeration necessary, and it's easy to guzzle them down quickly if you're pinched for time. They're even pretty filling.

Jar salads are definitely on my list of lunches when I get a real job, but somehow I'll wind up wearing it if I try to eat it in the car. Because that's how I roll. I'll consider protein shakes too; was trying to avoid drinks so I don't have to pee all the time though.

 

8 hours ago, NeverThatBored said:

You can make homemade protein or granola bars too! There are lots of neat looking recipes out there for every dietary preference.

 

Those drinkable applesauce pouches aren't filling on their own, but you could also pack those as part of a box of snacks for the day or something. 

I've been looking at recipes for energy balls and protein powders and such. Just don't want to fight with making them right now. Applesauce sounds yummy though.

 

8 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

@deftona does a really fun snack box idea that you could incorporate pieces into. Carrots and hummus (I know this would require a lunchbox with a way to stay cold, but that's not hard) or guacamole, make your own snack mix, ants on a log, rice cakes, freeze grapes and use them as "ice".

 

Also, you could always pack food that isn't easy to eat while driving and take a break. I mean, I get that you need the income and all that, but dear lord woman - even jobs let you have breaks! You could park somewhere and walk around too, which might help with soreness (coming from the woman who drives almost 6 hours straight Monday and Thursday). 

Guacamole is of the devil. How dare. 

 

I do take breaks! I swear! I usually wind up finding a Dunkins or grocery store or something if I need to pee and I'll do some stretches and wander around a bit so I'm not just sitting in the car for hours on end. The problem is that a) I'm not always hungry at the same time that I take a break so sometimes I just want a snack while I'm stuck in traffic or going to pick up the next person and/or b.) sometimes I wind up in parts of Boston where you couldn't pay me enough to park my car and hang out at night, forget getting out and walking around. 

 

12 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

 *Hugs* This I get. I had the same thing last night. Sadly, I don't have a way out of that thinking yet

9 hours ago, Wobbegong said:

I also was reflecting on this last night. I have kind of a debilitating mix of "I don't deserve rewards for things I work hard on" and "I do deserve rewards for things that are effortless." People always praised things that came naturally to me and ignored or put down anything I put real work into. So now I'm like, "I can just sit here and be fine, but if I work it'll be a pain and nothing good will come of it anyway." 

 

Sometimes I'm really surprised at how well I function as an adult. I've said it before, but you, me, and Bean all need to figure out a way to be a little nicer to ourselves. 

Yeah I think part of it for me is that when I was younger I was kind of effortlessly good at things. Not everything, but school and things that counted. So it was just assumed that I would do well and I didn't need any reinforcement. So while my classmates were getting a dollar or something for every A on their report card and more than one person mentioned their parents giving them the dollar equivalent of the scholarships they got to high school (Catholic schools, man), I got shit for getting my first B+ junior year of high school in one of my six classes, while working 20+ hours per week too. It was an AP US History class (one of 2 APs that year) in which the teacher decided to treat a bunch of 16-17 year olds like actual college students and give us 3+ chapters per week, not actually teach anything, and give no fucks about actually doing his job. And when I mentioned the scholarship thing (because of course my mother told everyone that I got a full scholarship to my first-choice school and varying amounts to 4 others, since you ranked up to 5 in order of preference and they gave you less money the further down your list they were) the response was something like "lol no we never counted on paying for it anyway so we don't have that money." 

 

Wow. I'm not bitter. Anyway yeah. Basically why get a reward for something I was going to do anyway, and on the other hand if this thing is hard just suck it up and do it anyway because you have to. This is part of why I struggle coming up with rewards for meeting goals. I'm not used to them for any reason, and they're really not motivation in any way. Woohoo.

[fleaball]

Rawr. I hate that being a supervisor at a bank and doing all the phone answering, report filing, and 90% of the paperwork and supply ordering and other typical admin-y stuff doesn't count to anyone as being admin/office experience because it was a retail banking environment. All these job postings are like "must have 32 years of experience answering a phone and using a computer, but don't bother applying if that experience hasn't been in the exact same position we're hiring for." 

 

I'm about to apply for one anyway at a non-profit that typically pays super low and just cross my fingers, but I just find it so annoying in general. That I get responses like that from some people, and yet when I was right out of undergrad I applied for an admin-with-some-paralegal-type-duties position and they called me in for an interview and were like "well tbh you're overqualified for this sooooo yeah." Can people make up their minds please?

[WhiteGhost]

9 hours ago, fleaball said:

Also it’s dumb and even though I’m dumb so a pretty sharp tack there’s still no point.

FTFY

[fleaball]

"I just found out that they weren't able to get someone else for that detail last night, so if I were a more organized person I could have just grabbed my stuff and gone so-"

"STOP. You don't have a time machine. It's too late now. Go to bed." 

 

WHY AM I PARENTING MY FATHER. I'm trying to pull back. I've actually managed to pull back a lot from where I was even over the summer. But I can't disconnect 100% til I move out, and so far even when I give him space to fuck up on his own it still winds up coming back to me to fix. This is insane. 

 

Also Tuesday I had to remind him that he is allowed to write checks to himself if he needs cash. He lost his debit card and the replacement hadn't come yet (I just found it in a pile of old mail since no one ever looks through the new stuff except me, for my own) and didn't know what he was going to do for money. I literally had to tell him to go across the street to the bank with his checkbook and his ID. Whyyyyyyy.

[fleaball]

4 minutes ago, WhiteGhost said:

FTFY

I like this analogy because being sharp means I can stab things.

[fleaball]

BALLS. New insurance plan doesn't cover anything out-of-network, including therapists. There goes that plan. Also their copays suck. Now I have to go find someone else for now. 

 

(On the bright side, my payment got processed correctly last week after all the drama about it? I was worried something would have gone wrong, so there's that.)

[fleaball]

And to end this wonderful night: out of nowhere I just remembered how last year when I came home for Christmas break my mother said she'd make a turkey for me but they were out of reasonably-sized turkeys when we went shopping so I never got that dinner and I don't know why I'm crying so hard right now.

[Wobbegong]

1 hour ago, fleaball said:

I don't know why I'm crying so hard right now.

One of the things I'm working on in therapy right now is practicing putting emotional names on my tears. At this point I basically cry as my only method of showing real emotion, and I have next to no experience allowing myself to be emotional, so I'm really bad at it and usually come up with 3-6 guesses of emotions it could be. But since "practicing having and recognizing emotions like an adult" is one of my goals, it's a helpful exercise. 

[Bean Sidhe]

20 hours ago, Wobbegong said:

I also was reflecting on this last night. I have kind of a debilitating mix of "I don't deserve rewards for things I work hard on" and "I do deserve rewards for things that are effortless." People always praised things that came naturally to me and ignored or put down anything I put real work into. So now I'm like, "I can just sit here and be fine, but if I work it'll be a pain and nothing good will come of it anyway." 

 

Sometimes I'm really surprised at how well I function as an adult. I've said it before, but you, me, and Bean all need to figure out a way to be a little nicer to ourselves. 

 

See I will reward those around me for the smallest and the largest things. However, aside from holidays, I have a hard time giving myself permission to get something. Especially if its something needed like a pair of jeans or a bra. But in a book store, I generally am more "I can get this its okay" which I don't get.

[Bean Sidhe]

9 hours ago, fleaball said:

You could make your own if you wanted? Although then it's just like, dried fruit + candy so I guess there's little point to it.

 

Pretty much not worth it. Also not really worth it with granola as well, so I go with it.

 

9 hours ago, fleaball said:

Jar salads are definitely on my list of lunches when I get a real job, but somehow I'll wind up wearing it if I try to eat it in the car. Because that's how I roll. I'll consider protein shakes too; was trying to avoid drinks so I don't have to pee all the time though.

 

 

Jar salads do work, but I can see them better when your not in a car that moves.

 

9 hours ago, fleaball said:

 

Yeah I think part of it for me is that when I was younger I was kind of effortlessly good at things. Not everything, but school and things that counted. So it was just assumed that I would do well and I didn't need any reinforcement. So while my classmates were getting a dollar or something for every A on their report card and more than one person mentioned their parents giving them the dollar equivalent of the scholarships they got to high school (Catholic schools, man), I got shit for getting my first B+ junior year of high school in one of my six classes, while working 20+ hours per week too. It was an AP US History class (one of 2 APs that year) in which the teacher decided to treat a bunch of 16-17 year olds like actual college students and give us 3+ chapters per week, not actually teach anything, and give no fucks about actually doing his job. And when I mentioned the scholarship thing (because of course my mother told everyone that I got a full scholarship to my first-choice school and varying amounts to 4 others, since you ranked up to 5 in order of preference and they gave you less money the further down your list they were) the response was something like "lol no we never counted on paying for it anyway so we don't have that money." 

 

This I understand. Get a B, get yelled at. Get an A - okay. My mom told me over the summer "You only got a 100%. What did you not do the extra credit?" This I totally get. I asked for an allowance once. My parents said if they paid me to do things, I need to start paying room and board. The allowance idea got dropped. *hugs* from someone who gets it.

 

9 hours ago, fleaball said:

Wow. I'm not bitter. Anyway yeah. Basically why get a reward for something I was going to do anyway, and on the other hand if this thing is hard just suck it up and do it anyway because you have to. This is part of why I struggle coming up with rewards for meeting goals. I'm not used to them for any reason, and they're really not motivation in any way. Woohoo.

 

*Hugs* from someone in the same boat.  This is why I don't give myself rewards for anything. I just go "Okay, thats done, next thing"

 

[fleaball]

Lyft girl called back. Wanted to talk about when I went in on Monday since I filled out their survey with all 1s because I was pissed. Call was 25 minutes and she thanked me for being so thorough and articulate. Girl, you’re inviting me to complain about all the issues I’ve hard. I’m not passing up that opportunity. And I live complaining. 

 

Back to bed because guess who didn’t sleep last night. 

[Wobbegong]

4 minutes ago, fleaball said:

I live complaining.

Idk if you meant "I love complaining" but I feel like "I'm living the complaining life" is super duper accurate and I am 100% with you on that. 

[fleaball]

[Countess D'If]

Just now, fleaball said:

Same

[fleaball]

I made $50 and then the app start freezing. Go to McDonald’s to pee and wait for it tp fix itself, two homeless guys nearly get into a fight. Now one of them is just pacing outside in front of the door. I sincerely want to call it a night but I can’t. Fuck. 

[NeverThatBored]

I hope you were able to call it a night eventually?

[fleaball]

15 hours ago, NeverThatBored said:

I hope you were able to call it a night eventually?

Gave up an hour after that post because it kept glitching. Got a text at 11:30pm saying “sorry for the inconvenience, we’re back online!” so apparently it was a system-wide thing. Joy. Ruined a night of earnings though. 

 

And hey, I was supposed to get $150 back today for when the car was in the shop the first week AND not be charged for another 3 days last week, but instead they just charged me for everything. So I’m royally fucked. And now I get to go spend the better part of my afternoon trying to resolve this AGAIN. I am so fucking tired of this bullshit. 

[fleaball]

lololol fuck everything. Basically I’m out $200 until I return the car, and even then it takes a while for their system to catch up. So I just need to never let them forget they owe me this money because this is going to be a long, drawn out process. 

 

Aaaaaand hey since I was here I stopped and asked the maintenance guy about the other work that needed to be done. He said even though it’s under that threshold they still need authorization from Hertz because Hertz has a cap of how much money they’ll put into a car, period, before they sell it. So I’m taking it in tomorrow to get the other work done so this same guy can handle it, but there are no guarantees I’ll get it back in a decent time. 

 

Is it too cliche if I just sit in the parking lot and cry in the car? 

[Owlet]

1 hour ago, fleaball said:

lololol fuck everything. Basically I’m out $200 until I return the car, and even then it takes a while for their system to catch up. So I just need to never let them forget they owe me this money because this is going to be a long, drawn out process. 

 

Aaaaaand hey since I was here I stopped and asked the maintenance guy about the other work that needed to be done. He said even though it’s under that threshold they still need authorization from Hertz because Hertz has a cap of how much money they’ll put into a car, period, before they sell it. So I’m taking it in tomorrow to get the other work done so this same guy can handle it, but there are no guarantees I’ll get it back in a decent time. 

 

Is it too cliche if I just sit in the parking lot and cry in the car? 

I mean, I just cried in my car all the way to work because I swiped someone's car with my wing mirror in traffic, and that's nothing compared to the amount of bullshit you're dealing with. So screw cliches, you've earned that cry. I'm honestly amazed at the utter uselessness of Lyft.