Overheard in the gym - Share!

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

I was the same way when I was a teenager. For me it was a self confidence thing, I never would have coinsidered a girl being attracted to me, so it never occured to me that they would be flirting. People had to outright tell me "she likes you" for every one of my girlfriends I've ever had, as I'd never be able to tell, I thought they were just friendly. I got my self-confidence as an adult, and I kick myself looking back now that I can tell what is going on. There were multiple girls that I liked that flirted with me on a regular basis. But whatevs, I'm with the person I'm meant to be with, who was one of those girls. I was friends with her and pined for her for 3 years in high school before someone finally pointed out that she obviously liked me.

[Mark D]

True story: A couple years ago I stopped in a bar in Hoboken, NJ for a beer before I got my train home (I commute from NJ to Brooklyn, NY by public transportation every day, Hoboken is a transfer point).  It was raining, and since I hate umbrellas I usually wear a leather, cowboy-style hat and a rain jacket to stay dry.  A girl at the bar asked me if I was really a cowboy, which I didn't "get", there's not a lot of cowboys in NJ.  When I related the story to my wife afterward she informed me the girl was flirting with me, went RIGHT over my head (even missed the hat).  

 

The fact that I owned clothes that were older than her made me even more oblivious.

 

On the topic of spouses, I'm HIGHLY protective of my wife.  The quickest way to get on my bad side is to insult my wife, and she's noted that when a stranger comes up to us I'm coiled like a spring ready to rip off body parts should the stranger turn out to be a threat.  Insults to me go pretty much ignored, the reality about me is worse than most people's feeble imaginations could come up with, so most of their insults come across as compliments.

[Silo]

As the guy who new girlfriends would describe to their friends as "Real smart, and a really nice guy" I assume any woman who flirts with me has ulterior motives (need computer fixed, looking for someone to buy them a drink, need furniture moved, etc).  Then again, I'm not sure I'd recognize if a woman WAS flirting with me, unless she threw her underwear at me with herself inside them.

 

This made me laugh. My husband told me the other day that a guy was "eyeballing" me and my immediate reaction was "Why? What was I doing?" because I assumed that I had done something weird to garner his attention. It just doesn't usually occur to me that there would be another reason why somebody would look my way.

[insanity]

It's a comfortable group of us who get together and awkwardly try to figure out if someone is joking, friendly, or flirting. Then we all go home alone because sometimes that's the easiest way out of a weird situation.

Don't forget about the "Then it dawns on us part" after we get home...

[Oramac]

I was the same way when I was a teenager. For me it was a self confidence thing, I never would have coinsidered a girl being attracted to me, so it never occured to me that they would be flirting. People had to outright tell me "she likes you" for every one of my girlfriends I've ever had, as I'd never be able to tell, I thought they were just friendly. I got my self-confidence as an adult, and I kick myself looking back now that I can tell what is going on. There were multiple girls that I liked that flirted with me on a regular basis. But whatevs, I'm with the person I'm meant to be with, who was one of those girls. I was friends with her and pined for her for 3 years in high school before someone finally pointed out that she obviously liked me.

 

I really wish someone would point this kind of thing out to me.......

[matty_mcfly]

Haha, I'm the exact opposite...kind of.  Usually if a woman innocently talks to me I'm pretty sure she's flirting.  However, if a woman is legit flirting with me I usually don't realize it until about 20 minutes later.

 

When I was single I would care so much if someone was flirting, now after 5+ years with the missus, I care so little that I usually miss it.

[Mark D]

This made me laugh. My husband told me the other day that a guy was "eyeballing" me and my immediate reaction was "Why? What was I doing?" because I assumed that I had done something weird to garner his attention. It just doesn't usually occur to me that there would be another reason why somebody would look my way.

 

This seems to be a nerd thing.  

 

Back in my single days I had friends who were members of Mensa, and I went to a couple of their gatherings as their guest.  The interactions were notable for nearly complete lack of subterfuge, or even subtlety.  At one point a young lady grabbed my arm as I walked by and asked me if I'd like to spend the night with her.

 

And that's all I have to say about THAT.

[insanity]

This seems to be a nerd thing.  

 

Back in my single days I had friends who were members of Mensa, and I went to a couple of their gatherings as their guest.  The interactions were notable for nearly complete lack of subterfuge, or even subtlety.  At one point a young lady grabbed my arm as I walked by and asked me if I'd like to spend the night with her.

 

And that's all I have to say about THAT.

*signs up for mensa*

[Silo]

For me, I don't think it is a self-confidence issue as much as it's the fact that I am not looking for a partner so I just assume that means that nobody looks my way. My husband and I dated all through high school. We went to separate colleges in different states (me-Ohio, him-Florida), but were still a couple. There was a guy who went to my college who had gone to high school with us. One day he asked me to go to dinner and a theater performance. I told him that would make me uncomfortable (I may have used those exact words.) When I told my now-husband about it, he said "So he asked you on a date." No, I think he just had an extra ticket. He knows I am dating you. Why would he ask me out on a date? "Umm, because I'm 1500 miles away right now?"

[matty_mcfly]

 Why would he ask me out on a date? "Umm, because I'm 1500 miles away right now?"

Lmao, yea, I've been on both sides of this.  My experience when I was "younger" is that most guys don't care if you have a boyfriend 5 feet away, let alone 1500 miles.

[Cat in the rack]

So the big issue is moving plates on and off the bar so you can both squat in one rack? Are you firing through your sets so quickly this delays you or do you really have an issue moving a couple of plates between each set?

Why not bring this up with him? Although, to me, it just sounds like he's using you as an incentive to try harder, which is hardly a crime.

Put it under a someone else's problem field. My last 1RM squat and bench was 6 months ago but I'll still quote it as I'm pretty confident I could best it.

Unless it's causing you an issue, why stress about it? I'm used to using bumpers for pretty much everything these days because that's what I have. If they're stopping other people from doing lifts which they actually need bumpers for then take over a pair of the non-bumper plates and ask politely to swap.

And the problem is?

The plate moving thing doesn't delay me, in fact it often kills a lot of the rest time which is a plus, it's more just a minor inconvenience that isn't there when I gym alone. I'm happy to do it, because it's the only way they can improve, plus, through I'd never say it to the other guy, it makes me feel stronger when there's somebody else using a lower weight than me. It's more the repetitiveness of the removing/adding plates that I'd rather do without.

With the competitiveness thing I think it'll be easier not to bring it up, when it comes to improving somebody else's training I often try to just suggest slight changes each time. So when we were doing squats I corrected his form and encouraged him to go to at least parallel, and with pull-ups I told him I prefer to build up to a max rep set ( set 1 1 rep, set 2 2 reps, etc). I find they take my advice more if I don't give too much at a time.

With the "I used to bench..." thing I just find it a little amusing how often I hear it with the exact same inflection. Of course there are plenty of people who don't test their 1RM very often but instead work at a lighter weight (it'd be stupid to do a lift exclusively with your 1RM forever), but there are also plenty of people who exaggerate their bench because it's seen as the "manliest" lift.

The bumper plates thing isn't really something that bothers me, after all there are always more people using the racks than the platforms, I just don't understand the reason for it.

No problem with the flirting, if someone's gonna flirt with me the only two times I'm confident in my ability to flirt back is either during training or drinking.

This seems to be a nerd thing.

Back in my single days I had friends who were members of Mensa, and I went to a couple of their gatherings as their guest. The interactions were notable for nearly complete lack of subterfuge, or even subtlety. At one point a young lady grabbed my arm as I walked by and asked me if I'd like to spend the night with her.

And that's all I have to say about THAT.

Since when were mensa parties like this? I've been missing out.

[Silo]

Lmao, yea, I've been on both sides of this.  My experience when I was "younger" is that most guys don't care if you have a boyfriend 5 feet away, let alone 1500 miles.

 

My ISTJ/rule follower personality is aghast   lol.

[Tankweazel]

On the topic of gym flirting, the following got past me initially till I thought about it on the way home:

• I wasn't watching your knees.
• Shh you, you get enough attention. 

Ones that didn't get past me:

• I see you're training for flexibility.
• You want me to take off your shirt?  (ha, yeah, very funny, 40 minutes ago you were blushing about having to put it on.)
• I'd wear leggings too if I had it to flaunt it.  (hurr durr I thought girls scared you?)

[Sam Ashen]

Oh, I'm sorry!  I didn't know she was your girlfriend.  I thought she was your sister!

 

He will think you are either crazy or stupid.  It works in your favor either way.

[Sam Ashen]

20 second berserker mode

[Cat in the rack]

I remember one time a girl asked me if I could do a push-up with her lying on top of me, and then asked me to demonstrate. I sure was a fool to not get her number.

[Tomu-san]

A girl at the bar asked me if I was really a cowboy, which I didn't "get", there's not a lot of cowboys in NJ.  

No, not many.

 

The quickest way to get on my bad side is to insult my wife, and she's noted that when a stranger comes up to us I'm coiled like a spring ready to rip off body parts should the stranger turn out to be a threat

 

.

 

I like you already.

[Machete]

Same here.  I can usually tell when 2 other people are flirting, but if she's talking to me?  Not a snowflakes chance in hell.  Can't say I've ever done the whole "make the gf jealous" thing, for two reasons: 1) I hate that kind of crap too, and 2) it would require me to actually have a girlfriend.  Not just that, but a GF who goes to the same gym as me.  

 

I try to always assume someone is flirting with me by default. (And not even to have sex, just some social engagement with masked intentions. Like Battleship or Stratego.) That way I decrease my chances of being a weirdo who just mumbles to himself looking deep into space while rocking back-and-forth. I don't think anyone actually KNOWS when someone is flirting really, because the subtlety is the main point of flirting. One just develops the ability to recognize the clues and deduce at that moment whether or not to 'engage', in the same way one can 'sense' danger. But I'm sure it's a skill highly practiced by politicians and other effective leaders.

 

Yep... we all meet on fridays...

 

And we all flirt with each other. Though nobody realized it until after the drive home.

 

there's not a lot of cowboys in NJ

 

 

Oh, I'm sorry!  I didn't know she was your girlfriend.  I thought she was your sister!

 

Said no one ever in Alabama.

 

So, only Beast-sweat has pheromones in it?

 

I thoroughly disagree

 

Example:

 

Gina

She would spend an hour on the stepper, run only 5-6 laps, then blast past me. Once, she mis-timed her start and couldn't catch up (she was about 1/2 a lap short.) I finished my miles as she was cooling down.

 

"You didn't quite get me tonite," I said.

 

"Well, I be back on Wednesday. I'll get you then," she replied, emphasizing "Get" with a flirty wink.

 

"I won't be back until maybe Saturday."

 

"Oh well, I'll have to get you when I can, then," again, emphasizing "Get" with another wink & smile

 

Let me say, the stepper work paid off

 

Sounds like that scene from Captain America: The Winter Soldier with Cap and Falcon. Now THAT was flirting.

[Trewest]

And we all flirt with each other. Though nobody realized it until after the drive home.

Sounds like that scene from Captain America: The Winter Soldier with Cap and Falcon. Now THAT was flirting.

Fairly certain if someone like you flirted with me I'd have that stunned rabbit in a headlight look.

And yes capt 2 was all about the hero husbands flirting

[Oramac]

So fun story about flirting in the gym!!

 

I'm about 30-45 minutes into my workout and standing in a corner near a hallway (not in the way though) doing shoulder raises for kicks.  One of the trainers that I've been kinda wanting to ask out for a long damn time walks by...

 

===============================================

 

Me: Hi [name]

 

Her: Hey!  Saw you squatting earlier.  That was some really good depth.  Great angle you had going on!

 

Me: Thanks!!  [note: about this time something in my brain was saying "this is important, but I have no idea why!"]

 

Her: You've been pushing really hard.  That was a lot of weight!  [note: it was 135 pounds.  A PR for me (yay!) but hardly a lot of weight]

 

Me: Yea, I'm pretty tired.  

 

Her: Well, see you later!

 

Me: Yea!  Good talking to you! 

 

===========================================

 

About half way home the lightbulb went off and I yelled a few choice words really loud.  And now I feel like a total moron.  

[Br0din]

So fun story about flirting in the gym!!

 

I'm about 30-45 minutes into my workout and standing in a corner near a hallway (not in the way though) doing shoulder raises for kicks.  One of the trainers that I've been kinda wanting to ask out for a long damn time walks by...

 

===============================================

 

Me: Hi Allison

 

Her: Hey!  Saw you squatting earlier.  That was some really good depth.  Great angle you had going on!

 

Me: Thanks!!  [note: about this time something in my brain was saying "this is important, but I have no idea why!"]

 

Her: You've been pushing really hard.  That was a lot of weight!  [note: it was 135 pounds.  A PR for me (yay!) but hardly a lot of weight]

 

Me: Yea, I'm pretty tired.  

 

Her: Well, see you later!

 

Me: Yea!  Good talking to you! 

 

===========================================

 

About half way home the lightbulb went off and I yelled a few choice words really loud.  And now I feel like a total moron.  

 

Bro, you got this.  She likes you, go talk to her tomorrow.

[SevenofSeven]

Feel the fear and do it anyway Oramac!

[Sam Ashen]

Hmm.  Let me guess:  Her boyfriend does half squats on a bosu ball.

[LadyFenix]

I generally don't recognize it when someone flirts with me, like at all. It's hilarious because I can detect when someone is flirting with anyone else, but once it's aimed at me, I am Captain OBLIVIOUS. Mainly because I'm quite used to not being flirted with. Like yourself, when I do feel like someone might have hit on me, I often wonder what it was they really wanted from me. A lot of guys would be friendly with me with the sole purpose of making their girlfriends jealous, and I hate that noise.

 

I totally do this too, I know what's happening with everyone else, but have no radar for when someone's flirting with me.  I once was even talking to someone about it and the joke was made that I needed to just be hit over the head; this guy who was listening to our conversation picked up roll of paper and whacked me over the head with it.  Not kidding, I brushed his hand away and said, "what are you doing?" and continued with the conversation.  He slumped down in his seat and looked all defeated, and it wasn't until three months later that I figured out what happened.  

[Trewest]

I totally do this too, I know what's happening with everyone else, but have no radar for when someone's flirting with me.  I once was even talking to someone about it and the joke was made that I needed to just be hit over the head; this guy who was listening to our conversation picked up roll of paper and whacked me over the head with it.  Not kidding, I brushed his hand away and said, "what are you doing?" and continued with the conversation.  He slumped down in his seat and looked all defeated, and it wasn't until three months later that I figured out what happened.  

 

yep, I've dealt with that level of oblivious before. My friend Blair and I went to rent movies and the girl behind the counter kept leaning forward and playing with the zipper of her sweater while she talked to Blair. Even said 'if there is ANYTHING I can help you with, I'm all yours'.  And he was like 'I think I've found the movie I wanted thanks.' It was only as we were walking up the street that he was like 'wait, was she hitting on me?' and I actually had to sit down I was laughing so hard.