Introverts, Social Misfits and the Terror of Talking to People

[Cutebug]

I feel ya on the people-talking-over-you thing, Doe. I'm a very quiet person, so when I'm talking with someone - doesn't matter what about - I'll almost always get steamrolled right over. It happens in groups, it happens one-on-one... I've gotten used to it at this point and just let the people talk. Sometimes I talk over them in return, if I'm sick of being interrupted - I'll just finish my sentence while staring into their soul. And even that doesn't work with any consistency - usually they still keep talking. Some people looooove talking.

 

 

(sorry about the rant; that's just something I've been particulary aware/sensitive of lately )

 

I love that you stare into their soul while continuing your sentence/point. That's the best. 

[Raze]

According to this overpaid, ink-stained, wannabe journalist, there's a new breed in town:  http://mashable.com/2015/06/09/post-hipster-yuccie/

 

It kind of fills me with rage/despair that people have nothing better to do than write crap like this.  We live in sad times, my friends.

 

 

I got to liberal arts and stopped soon after....

[BayouPrincess]

I find this hitting home very hard.

 

I don't have autism, but I constantly move from place to place without stopping since I was a child. I don't do deep connection.

 

I make people like me, but I feel detached to everyone. I care about them and I want everyone to be happy, but none of them is a part of my life. I feel that I can walk away from every single one of them. Sometimes I am scared of myself-- that I actually don't have a heart to truly love someone and that I am actually just a monster masked as a very bubbly, lovable man. And one day, I will end up hurting everyone around me.

 

But that wouldn't stop me from trying to truly, deeply, unconditionally love someone, no matter how long it takes.  

 

I know this is an old entry on this thread but this.. I thought I was the only one who felt this way! Just.. Holy crap! I think my brain exploded!

[Doe]

I feel ya on the people-talking-over-you thing, Doe. I'm a very quiet person, so when I'm talking with someone - doesn't matter what about - I'll almost always get steamrolled right over. It happens in groups, it happens one-on-one... I've gotten used to it at this point and just let the people talk. Sometimes I talk over them in return, if I'm sick of being interrupted - I'll just finish my sentence while staring into their soul. And even that doesn't work with any consistency - usually they still keep talking. Some people looooove talking.

 

 

(sorry about the rant; that's just something I've been particulary aware/sensitive of lately )

 

Lol, it's cool. My post was definitely a rant and is probably continuing in this post :-P

It's unfortunate that sometimes people mistake silence with lack of awareness or understanding.  It takes me awhile to soak things in, and I'm not one to "agree outloud" (repeat things) just for the sake of being heard. Often times I don't have questions until later. Though in interview life I was smart enough to prep lists of questions.  

[Cutebug]

I am going to a board gaming convention in Seattle this weekend, where I will have to learn new things, taught by strangers, in front of other strangers, and most likely everyone will know more than me. And then I will do it over and over and over again. All weekend. Also, I will be participating in a Doctor Who themed Role Playing Game. Never done that before! 

 

So, in preparation, I spent yesterday in a blanket fort made of pink curtains and lace.

with my cat and a book.

 

Also, this:

[oldnews]

True, I used to teach senior citizens how to use Facebook and excel for job trainees so I can't be that horrible.

I just work in an office with many extroverts and usually they talk over me or never take a breath -can't get in a word edgewise. One on one with clients or teaching I do ok. But when I'm with another person they'll almost do all the talking. It's a vicious cyclebecause I don't get a lot of one-on-one time until I can prove that I can do things in front of somebody els eand sometimes it's hard to say to somebody let me take the lead, if I need you I'll ask.

 

I was actually just popping into this thread to say exactly thing. I've noticed a lot of the 'introvert' posts on Tumblr mention being almost constantly interrupted, and I really wonder if it's just that we're most sensitive to it. Otherwise, I really don't get the whole "you should talk more!"... "let me interrupt you thirteen times during one sentence."

 

I feel ya on the people-talking-over-you thing, Doe. I'm a very quiet person, so when I'm talking with someone - doesn't matter what about - I'll almost always get steamrolled right over. It happens in groups, it happens one-on-one... I've gotten used to it at this point and just let the people talk. Sometimes I talk over them in return, if I'm sick of being interrupted - I'll just finish my sentence while staring into their soul. And even that doesn't work with any consistency - usually they still keep talking. Some people looooove talking.

 

 

(sorry about the rant; that's just something I've been particulary aware/sensitive of lately )

 

I do that to very, very few people. With one co-worker, I almost feel like it's some sort of power play, and I just. keep. talking.

 

Otherwise, I just stop talking, and people rarely even notice. 

 

I am going to a board gaming convention in Seattle this weekend, where I will have to learn new things, taught by strangers, in front of other strangers, and most likely everyone will know more than me. And then I will do it over and over and over again. All weekend. Also, I will be participating in a Doctor Who themed Role Playing Game. Never done that before! 

 

So, in preparation, I spent yesterday in a blanket fort made of pink curtains and lace.

with my cat and a book.

 

Also, this:

 

I love everything about this. 

[Polaris]

That blanket fort looks so comfortable. I need to make some bedposts so I can build one.

 

Anyway, not sure if I've been to this thread before, but hi, another introvert here, with added social anxiety issues. Long story short, I had virtually zero contact with kids my age until I was about six, which totally wrecked my social development. I had to do a lot of catching up later on, and I still think that part of my brain is just broken because it wasn't developed timely. (Kind of like feral children can never learn to speak.) Because I lack/ed the innate ability of human-human interaction, I observed it like a robot and invented all these algorithms that I can pretty much auto-run by now. Meaning, I can be very charming and social on the outside when necessary, but inside, I'm constantly worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing. Which inevitably happens from time to time and destroys me every time.

 

I also have... trust issues, I think? In the way that no matter how good friends I am with someone, I'm always afraid that one day, they'll become fed up with me and dump me. And lots of things can trigger that fear because due to certain fun events, I'm extremely tuned in on (and sometimes paranoid about) people's negative emotions and reactions. A friend doesn't talk to me for a while? They must hate me. Definitely. No other explanation. A random facial expression? They're about to tell me I'm too annoying to handle.

[Yraen]

Anyway, not sure if I've been to this thread before, but hi, another introvert here, with added social anxiety issues. Long story short, I had virtually zero contact with kids my age until I was about six, which totally wrecked my social development. I had to do a lot of catching up later on, and I still think that part of my brain is just broken because it wasn't developed timely. (Kind of like feral children can never learn to speak.) Because I lack/ed the innate ability of human-human interaction, I observed it like a robot and invented all these algorithms that I can pretty much auto-run by now. Meaning, I can be very charming and social on the outside when necessary, but inside, I'm constantly worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing. Which inevitably happens from time to time and destroys me every time.

 

That more or less perfectly describes me. I have a fear of crowds and a hatred of physical contact on top of all that. I had a somewhat more normal childhood though I guess.

[Artinum]

I can relate to that, Polaris. Though in my case it wasn't a lack of contact with children that screwed me up but sheer incomprehension (thanks, AS).

[Machete]

I also have trust issues, but in my case I tend to trust everyone indiscriminately. That obviously comes with its own set of problems.

[Cutebug]

I also have trust issues, but in my case I tend to trust everyone indiscriminately. That obviously comes with its own set of problems.

Me tooooooo! I'm all like, yeah everyone must be awesome and nice and trustworthy, right???? riiiight?????

 

Failsauce. 

[Rurik Harrgath]

I also have trust issues, but in my case I tend to trust everyone indiscriminately. That obviously comes with its own set of problems.

Me tooooooo! I'm all like, yeah everyone must be awesome and nice and trustworthy, right???? riiiight?????

 

Failsauce. 

 

I struggle with my natural inclination to trust everyone unconditionally, and the jaded mistrust of everyone that I've built up over the years... it's a good thing I'm so introspective or I would exist in the chaos of perpetual confusion.

[Bekah]

I trust no one until they prove themselves worthy

[NeverThatBored]

Hey all,

 

I'm a bit intimidated by how long this thread is already, but I figured I'd chime in and start following along.

[Machete]

Me tooooooo! I'm all like, yeah everyone must be awesome and nice and trustworthy, right???? riiiight?????

 

Failsauce. 

 

I can't count in my life the number of vans I've entered, only to find no candy. Damn liars.

[Hellany]

I'm an owl. I hate people but love my friends. /shrug. Honestly I don't see anything wrong with not wanting to interact with people...it's a chore at best.

[SjardisDead]

I can't count in my life the number of vans I've entered, only to find no candy. Damn liars.

 

Damn dude you are cheap or old. In the 80's you could get a whole kindergarten with a bag of haribo now you don't even need to try with anything less than an iPhone 5.

[Rurik Harrgath]

I'm an owl. I hate people but love my friends. /shrug. Honestly I don't see anything wrong with not wanting to interact with people...it's a chore at best.

 

I hear ya there.  Even though I have, at last count, a grand total of three friends including my girlfriend... People are just so bloody flaky and unreliable these days.

[Br0din]

I hear ya there.  Even though I have, at last count, a grand total of three friends including my girlfriend... People are just so bloody flaky and unreliable these days.

 

That's like 2 more friends than I have.  You need to teach me how to make friends.  In real life...  not fake people that don't really exist on the internet...

[Artinum]

I'm an owl. I hate people but love my friends.

 

I am confused by the owl part of this.

[Hellany]

I am confused by the owl part of this.

I got the animal reference from page 1.

http://dingo.care2.com/pictures/greenliving/uploads/2012/10/animals-myersbriggs-chart.jpg

[Hellany]

I hear ya there.  Even though I have, at last count, a grand total of three friends including my girlfriend... People are just so bloody flaky and unreliable these days.

They can be...so once I find a good one I tend to sink my hooks in deep. Some friends I've had for over twenty years. But I keep moving around, and that tends to leave me solitary in the city. Umm more free time for gaming?

Three sounds pretty solid to me, though.

[Artinum]

I got the animal reference from page 1.

http://dingo.care2.com/pictures/greenliving/uploads/2012/10/animals-myersbriggs-chart.jpg

 

Ah, yes. Thank you. Page 1 was a long time ago! I would be a tiger.

[Jakkals]

Friends? What is that?

[TMedina]

Hey all,

 

I'm a bit intimidated by how long this thread is already, but I figured I'd chime in and start following along.

 

It's fun to read from the beginning, but given how often the conversation fluctuates, it's not really relevant.

 

So, welcome!