Briguy Posted February 3, 2017 Report Share Posted February 3, 2017 2016 started off okay, then went downhill. After much debate and trying to figure things out I moved into an RV in June, actually got down to 290 again then the last week of June I went to my parents house to help move a shed. Slept in the shed as normal when I lived with them and went in around midnight to use the restroom, came out and Zoe was not on her chair waiting. Figured I had been camping for a month and she basically had free reign there, she would often be sleeping under the RV when I woke from a nap during the day. Around 1 am my dad woke me up, the police had tried calling but my phone was still in airplane mode since I didn't have service where I had been camping, so they contacted the address listed for Zoes' tags. She had been hit about 3/4 a mile from the house and didn't make it. We went and picked up her body and he took care of it the next day. My mom cried, I didn't say anything. The following after noon I went back to where I had been staying, and had a few times on the road where I would say something to her during the drive and started too only to realize I was alone in the car. I got back to my RV and stayed there for a couple of hours and then went to a friends house that I had just recently had contact with again. Towards the end of the week I went back and got the RV, using a leap frog method and walking/hitching a ride to get it to the main road, it was 14 miles up a dirt road by a reservoir. My the end of July I was back over 300 and going between 305 and 310. I sold the RV and bought a GMC Safari Minivan that I stayed in most of the time, most of the stuff from the RV crammed inside so I didn't have much room. In the end of October I started getting cold so I caved in and went to talk to some people about housing and got set up so I took everything out of storage and its in here, didn't go through it much though. After a bit I started secluding myself again and finally realized it a couple of weeks ago, I pretty much only did scheduled things all of last December. On of the good things that I did was tried to get my eating on track and was able to slowly drop the pounds; wanting to go on walks but sleeping or daydreaming instead. I need to get another dog to kind of force me out I think, Zoe helped me a lot with anxiety, even if it was just he and her, at least I was getting out for walks and she was great at getting me talking to people. Since loosing her (and a little before on occasion) I started smoking again, not sure how it helps but it is a little relaxing. Went back into the ER in December and got stuck on a halter monitor again during Christmas and New Years, hopefully will see the results of it next week at the VA. I was able to maintain weight during the holidays and lsot a bit last month, got down to 290 again last week then was had dinner at a couples house I hadn't seen in a while, had a little extra yesterday and the scale said 307 tonight . . . Taht was after I went to bed at 9:50 pm, it is now 2:25 and I still haven't fallen asleep. Here is a picture of Zoe in her chair with a cat my parents had Quote Briguy, level 2 STR 1|DEX 2|STA 1|CON 3|WIS 3|CHA 2[/TD][/TR][/TABLE] "Learn the principle, abide by the principle, and dissolve the principle. In short, enter a mold without being caged in it. Obey the principle without being bound by it. LEARN, MASTER AND ACHIEVE!!!" Bruce Lee "To Live by a principal is to live, do die with no principal you have not lived." Battle Log My Fitness Pal Link to comment
Briguy Posted February 4, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 To much blah blah written. second night of not sleeping, well, at least yesterday I was actually able to go to sleep eventually, today not so much. I am going to Yoga at noon so I guess just a couple more hours. Then no more than 90 minute nap and sleep should come tonight. . . Quote Briguy, level 2 STR 1|DEX 2|STA 1|CON 3|WIS 3|CHA 2[/TD][/TR][/TABLE] "Learn the principle, abide by the principle, and dissolve the principle. In short, enter a mold without being caged in it. Obey the principle without being bound by it. LEARN, MASTER AND ACHIEVE!!!" Bruce Lee "To Live by a principal is to live, do die with no principal you have not lived." Battle Log My Fitness Pal Link to comment
WolfDreamer Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 @Briguy I'm sorry you're going through this struggle. Nothing I say can take the pain away from what you have been through. But I encourage you to keep pushing, keep making decisions that you know push you towards becoming happier and healthier. You're already taking great strides by doing yoga and trying to sleep better. Small victories in a big war are still victories. Celebrate each one and don't give up. Let us know if we can support you in any way. Quote Who am I? -- My NF Character Current Challenge: WolfDreamer Enters Spartan Training Past Challenges: Spoiler Winter is Coming, Wolfen Strengthens His Heart, Body, Mind, and Spirit, Wolfen Becomes One of the People, Wolfen Strengthens His Chakras, Wolfen Welcomes Summer and Gets Primal, Soulcon and Spartan, Wolfen Develops Mental Toughness, Wolfen Joins the Wander Society, Soulcon, Spartan, School, and Stranger Things, Wolfen Becomes a Warrior Elite, Wolfen Goes Here and There and Back Again, Wolfen Becomes a Soulcon Warrior Elite, Wolfen Returns to His Roots, Wolfen Wanders in Soul, Spirit, and Body, Wolfen Owns the Day, Wolfen Searches for His Wild Heart, Wolfen Runs for His Life, Wolfen Hits the Trails, Wolfen Becomes an Explorer and Joins the Resistance, Wolfen Goes Back to the Source, Wolfen Begins the Hero's Journey, WolfDreamer Returns to the People, WolfDreamer Pushes Back, WolfDreamer Prioritizes, Burpees, Books, and Brainwork, Burpees, Books, Brainwork, and Bodywork, WolfDreamer Masters the Four Elements, WolfDreamer Continues to Master the Four Elements, WolfDreamer Returns to Sparta, WolfDreamer Returns to Middle Earth, WolfDreamer Continues His Middle Earth Adventure, WolfDreamer and the Fall, WolfDreamer Forges His Own Path, WolfDreamer Has Hope, WolfDreamer Returns to Middle Earth, WolfDreamer Reads Harder, Breathes Harder, and Journals More, WolfDreamer Embraces His Wild Poet, The Mad Poet Becomes Supernatural, WolfDreamer, The Mad Poet, Becomes Superhuman, WolfDreamer Elevates, WolfDreamer Becomes IronBorn, WolfDreamer Wakes the White Wolf, The Mad Poet Recovers by Keeping it Simple, WolfDreamer Clears His Mind to Find His Wild Heart, WolfDreamer Resets, WolfDreamer Strives to Become an Eminently Qualified Peaceful Warrior, WolfDreamer Springs Forward, WolfDreamer Returns (For Real This Time), WolfDreamer is RespaWinning, WolfDreamer Reboots, WolfDreamer Thinks About the Roman Empire “I'd rather sing one wild song and burst my heart with it, than live a thousand years watching my digestion and being afraid of the wet.” -- Jack London “I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love.” -- Leo Tolstoy "I feel love rising in my chest again Rising like a burning sun into the day..." -- Gungor, "Hurricane" "...wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Corinthians 3:17b Link to comment
Briguy Posted February 5, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 Thanks Wolfen. The small victories are what has gotten me through the past few years, one step at a time 1 Quote Briguy, level 2 STR 1|DEX 2|STA 1|CON 3|WIS 3|CHA 2[/TD][/TR][/TABLE] "Learn the principle, abide by the principle, and dissolve the principle. In short, enter a mold without being caged in it. Obey the principle without being bound by it. LEARN, MASTER AND ACHIEVE!!!" Bruce Lee "To Live by a principal is to live, do die with no principal you have not lived." Battle Log My Fitness Pal Link to comment
WolfDreamer Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 14 hours ago, Briguy said: Thanks Wolfen. The small victories are what has gotten me through the past few years, one step at a time A very wise insight, my friend. You have the soul and the heart to make it. Just don't give up and you'll find you have the strength, as well. Quote Who am I? -- My NF Character Current Challenge: WolfDreamer Enters Spartan Training Past Challenges: Spoiler Winter is Coming, Wolfen Strengthens His Heart, Body, Mind, and Spirit, Wolfen Becomes One of the People, Wolfen Strengthens His Chakras, Wolfen Welcomes Summer and Gets Primal, Soulcon and Spartan, Wolfen Develops Mental Toughness, Wolfen Joins the Wander Society, Soulcon, Spartan, School, and Stranger Things, Wolfen Becomes a Warrior Elite, Wolfen Goes Here and There and Back Again, Wolfen Becomes a Soulcon Warrior Elite, Wolfen Returns to His Roots, Wolfen Wanders in Soul, Spirit, and Body, Wolfen Owns the Day, Wolfen Searches for His Wild Heart, Wolfen Runs for His Life, Wolfen Hits the Trails, Wolfen Becomes an Explorer and Joins the Resistance, Wolfen Goes Back to the Source, Wolfen Begins the Hero's Journey, WolfDreamer Returns to the People, WolfDreamer Pushes Back, WolfDreamer Prioritizes, Burpees, Books, and Brainwork, Burpees, Books, Brainwork, and Bodywork, WolfDreamer Masters the Four Elements, WolfDreamer Continues to Master the Four Elements, WolfDreamer Returns to Sparta, WolfDreamer Returns to Middle Earth, WolfDreamer Continues His Middle Earth Adventure, WolfDreamer and the Fall, WolfDreamer Forges His Own Path, WolfDreamer Has Hope, WolfDreamer Returns to Middle Earth, WolfDreamer Reads Harder, Breathes Harder, and Journals More, WolfDreamer Embraces His Wild Poet, The Mad Poet Becomes Supernatural, WolfDreamer, The Mad Poet, Becomes Superhuman, WolfDreamer Elevates, WolfDreamer Becomes IronBorn, WolfDreamer Wakes the White Wolf, The Mad Poet Recovers by Keeping it Simple, WolfDreamer Clears His Mind to Find His Wild Heart, WolfDreamer Resets, WolfDreamer Strives to Become an Eminently Qualified Peaceful Warrior, WolfDreamer Springs Forward, WolfDreamer Returns (For Real This Time), WolfDreamer is RespaWinning, WolfDreamer Reboots, WolfDreamer Thinks About the Roman Empire “I'd rather sing one wild song and burst my heart with it, than live a thousand years watching my digestion and being afraid of the wet.” -- Jack London “I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love.” -- Leo Tolstoy "I feel love rising in my chest again Rising like a burning sun into the day..." -- Gungor, "Hurricane" "...wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Corinthians 3:17b Link to comment
ButterFactor Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 I agree with Wolfen here. Just keep going at it step by step. Every little bit counts. You got this, just keep it up. 1 Quote Link to comment
Briguy Posted February 9, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2017 just have to keep the momentum going, whether it is consecutive or not. But on the bright side I was going through the NF Quest page and one of them is 5 diamond push ups, and since hearing that they are hard I have always made sure I can so at least five, so I cranked out 5 this morning as a start to getting as many push ups as I can today, then ate breakfast- still feeling it in my arms. Quote Briguy, level 2 STR 1|DEX 2|STA 1|CON 3|WIS 3|CHA 2[/TD][/TR][/TABLE] "Learn the principle, abide by the principle, and dissolve the principle. In short, enter a mold without being caged in it. Obey the principle without being bound by it. LEARN, MASTER AND ACHIEVE!!!" Bruce Lee "To Live by a principal is to live, do die with no principal you have not lived." Battle Log My Fitness Pal Link to comment
Miw_Sher Posted February 13, 2017 Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 I can't reiterate enough what everyone else is saying. Keep going, one step at a time. No matter how small. Quote Goblin | Level 7 | STR: 4 | DEX: 2 | STA: 3 | CON: 3.5 | WIS: 8 | CHA: 2.5 Nerdfitness Character, Past challenges: 1 1 2 2 3 4 5 5 6, Current challenge (March 19 - April 15): click Tough Mudder Ireland || Battle for Graduation || My Neverending Story (on hiatus) Link to comment
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