The Men's Thread: Episode III

[Scaly Freak]

On 1/2/2022 at 4:14 PM, This is Seth said:

For those of you who have daughters, any advice for someone about to step into the role of a "girl dad"?

 

From the perspective of someone who is a daughter.... your girl lives in a world that will do its best to destroy her self-esteem by inundating her, constantly and consistently, with destructive messages about her body and her appearance, and how her worth as a person depends entirely on making said appearance as aesthetically pleasing as possible. In some cases the message will actually spell out that being overweight automatically means she is hideous and will never be worthy of either love or respect unless she loses that extra weight. These messages will also do their best to convince her that the faster she loses weight the better, and health and sustainable habits be damned.

 

One of the best things any parent can do for a little girl is to consistently counter this destructive messaging and do their best to make sure she grows up knowing that she is wonderful and lovable exactly as she is. Because of it, even.   

 

Oh, and make sure she knows that it's a good thing to express anger in healthy ways.

 

Far too many young women endure touchy-handsy things they shouldn't have to, because their fear of "making a scene" is greater than their revulsion at being molested.  (I can go on for days about how fucked up this is, so I'll spare you my rant on this subject...) Unfortunately, until we live in a world where all parents teach all their sons not to touch people without permission, all daughters need to learn that it's okay to be angry and express that anger, when unwanted physical touching inevitably happens to them at some point in their lives. 

[This is Seth]

1 hour ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

One of the best things any parent can do for a little girl is to consistently counter this destructive messaging and do their best to make sure she grows up knowing that she is wonderful and lovable exactly as she is. Because of it, even.   

 

Thanks Scaly, that's a great take.
I'll add that to the list.

[ElectricTrailRunner]

Working on a self project, I work with three miserable assholes they range from 46-61,  none have meaningful relationships, two of them are still in the jobs they started with*, they are given almost 4 weeks of vacation time, 1 week of personal and 2.6 weeks of sick per year, and yet every time I come back from a vacation I hear complaints about how they haven't taken time off in years and that they come in sick and on days where the state shuts down major highways due to weather; yes even when I stay home to take care of the kids due to illness or a school holiday I hear complaints; my project is to not be like them; to actually enjoy life, explore, grow, have meaningful relationships.

 

I have already started on the path but I will start with the * because it needs a little explanation so I don't come off as an a-hole, I am lucky enough to work for an organization that believes in promotion, you have to take a test to raise through the ranks, if you want you can take the study classes, free training, other various support options (they even pay for 1(2) college classes per semester(including summer sess)) so for anyone here who is stuck in the same job that they have been for 16+years means you really haven't tried at all. 

 

Learn where to learn, personally right now I am going to the library and picking up some Microsoft office guides to help me with the job, but also picking up copies of the Armory Wars; I also check the Continuing Education guide that the local Community College releases before every semester. Right now the are offering a Microsoft and Google certificates for pretty cheap that will help anyone in the office fields in the long run plus I think it's in person and virtual .

 

Don't be afraid to admit that you don't know what you don't know   

[Scaly Freak]

2 hours ago, Capt Frost said:

; my project is to not be like them;

 

I used to work with people like that.  A couple of years ago, my employer did a substantial re-structuring and the roles in my department that had the highest head count were all of them outsourced. The department managers were asked to nominate three individuals to keep for slightly changed roles with high entry requirements. Three, out of nearly two dozen.

 

Our department had several members with 40+ years of experience and a wealth of knowledge about this job. None of them were considered, and I trust you can imagine the reasons for that without my help.

 

Keep working on your project. It'll pay off.

[cn3wton]

This was one of my favorite threads back in the day, so I figured I'd post in it and see if anyone would notice and like to bring it back from the dead?

 

A big thing I'd like to discuss is what other guys are taking for supplements and vitamins and why!

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

15 minutes ago, cn3wton said:

This was one of my favorite threads back in the day, so I figured I'd post in it and see if anyone would notice and like to bring it back from the dead?

 

A big thing I'd like to discuss is what other guys are taking for supplements and vitamins and why!

I'm taking vitamin D because my levels were low

[cn3wton]

8 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I'm taking vitamin D because my levels were low

 

I was actually prescribed vitamin D on a massive scale because I was so low and it was a game changer. But I didn't make the swap right away to over the counter strength and I regret it. I am currently taking quite a few supplements.

 

The big focus for me is obviously supplementing deficiencies, but also increased blood flow and cardiovascular health, along with supplements that are supposed to help with mental clarity.

 

Here's the long list, I can break it down further if anyone wants. I am also not a doctor and don't recommend anyone start anything without first talking with your primary care.

 

Vitamins B12, C, D, E

Omega 3 Fish Oil

L - Citrulline

Zinc

Magnesium

Magnesium Glycinate

 

I also have a multivitamin I got with some products that I purchased to help with beard care/growth. And after checking it out figured I'd give it a shot. I read up on the efficacy of multivitamins vs focused supplementation and this is what I decided to go with. Not only do you get more of a certain thing in a dedicated supplement, but you can better time it for optimum absorption.

 

I have also begun taking workout specific supplementation in the form of

Creatine

Headstrong 175 Pre Workout

 

On top of that I am focusing on protein intake and getting in spinach and broccoli into my diet.

 

I also take Metamucil once a day and that has worked wonders with my gut issues!

[The Most Loathed]

I started taking. a multivitamin recently. I found pretty quickly that the prescribed amount seemed excessive. I'm waiting to get my lab values back on all my other stuff. I should know a lot more in a week or so.

I've taken a fiber supplement daily for a couple years. I eat a lot of veg so it's probably unnecessary but I find when I travel (and my food is much lower quality) when I take fiber I seem to not have as much GI distress.

[cn3wton]

14 hours ago, The Most Loathed said:

I started taking. a multivitamin recently. I found pretty quickly that the prescribed amount seemed excessive. I'm waiting to get my lab values back on all my other stuff. I should know a lot more in a week or so.

I've taken a fiber supplement daily for a couple years. I eat a lot of veg so it's probably unnecessary but I find when I travel (and my food is much lower quality) when I take fiber I seem to not have as much GI distress.

 

I think fiber has been one of the biggest things for me, especially the powdered form. A friend of mine tried the gummies/pills and didn't have nearly the same effect. Of course I think how the Metamucil powder works is pretty neat and fascinating. 

 

As far as the multivitamin goes with how you are eating it may be excessive. But I also have heard that the % daily values are all pretty much made up anyways? Like its based on a 2000 calorie diet but they can't even agree on how much protein vs carbs a person should have in a day? It's all so confusing and there are certainly tons of people pushing unethical things out there too that just muddies the water.

 

I will say that I have seen improvements in many of the areas that I was hoping for since starting to supplement for them. Whether its actually working or a placebo I'm no doctor. But the stuff I wanted to deal with seems a bit difficult to deal with if it wasn't actually doing something. 

 

The big thing I have noticed is that the pre workout may or may not be working for me. I haven't really ever used one before but I'm not quite sure if I am seeing a difference or not. Everyone keeps telling me I should definitely feel it and know, but I'm not sure. 

[The Most Loathed]

This is the multivitamin I'm currently taking. This is not an endorsement. I have mixed feelings on it so far. I started out taking the full 8 capsules a day they prescribe. I found that I was suddenly going to the bathroom at lot more and it is very brightly colored. I backed down to 4 and the excess urination mostly went away (suggesting my kidneys aren't filtering some much out of my blood that I'm needing to evacuate it). Even at 4 my urine was brightly colored. I've gone down to  2, one at breakfast and one at lunch. I think I may add back a vitamin D supplement because it's winter in Minnesota and I don't really go outside except to go to the gym or store. 

41 minutes ago, cn3wton said:

As far as the multivitamin goes with how you are eating it may be excessive

 

This is very likely. As I've settled into my current eating pattern I've added more and more veggies. I probably eat 1-2 cups of frozen veggies in my breakfast and lunches as well as just piling a bowl as full as I can with cauliflower, carrots, tomatoes and anything the store has that looks good as an afternoon snack. So there are probably some vitamins and minerals I'm maxing out with food and there are probably some big gaps in there. I've never sat down to do a think on it but maybe these labs coming back will help me to do that. 

 

[cn3wton]

1 hour ago, The Most Loathed said:

This is the multivitamin I'm currently taking. This is not an endorsement. I have mixed feelings on it so far. I started out taking the full 8 capsules a day they prescribe. I found that I was suddenly going to the bathroom at lot more and it is very brightly colored. I backed down to 4 and the excess urination mostly went away (suggesting my kidneys aren't filtering some much out of my blood that I'm needing to evacuate it). Even at 4 my urine was brightly colored. I've gone down to  2, one at breakfast and one at lunch. I think I may add back a vitamin D supplement because it's winter in Minnesota and I don't really go outside except to go to the gym or store. 

 

This is very likely. As I've settled into my current eating pattern I've added more and more veggies. I probably eat 1-2 cups of frozen veggies in my breakfast and lunches as well as just piling a bowl as full as I can with cauliflower, carrots, tomatoes and anything the store has that looks good as an afternoon snack. So there are probably some vitamins and minerals I'm maxing out with food and there are probably some big gaps in there. I've never sat down to do a think on it but maybe these labs coming back will help me to do that. 

 

To be fair that's not like most common multivitamins I've seen like once daily men's and stuff like that. I've always heard that for the most part extra vitamins (for the most part) aren't a huge deal. For instance vitamin b12 being at like 25000% doesn't really mean anything. But who knows. Did you take the 8 pills through the course of the day or all at once? 

 

Yea I am definitely interested to hear about your labs for sure. Vitamin D is a must for pretty much everyone that lives where it snows according to pretty much every doctor I know. 

[The Most Loathed]

4 hours ago, cn3wton said:

 Did you take the 8 pills through the course of the day or all at once? 

I spread them out, two per meal. I cut down to 1 per meal after a week then just two capsules with separate meals after that.

[cn3wton]

Yea that's a lot of pills! I've actually never seen a vitamin that requires that many capsules a day. But maybe I am just ignorant and its more common than I think.

 

I can confirm that the Pre Workout I am using is working gents so that's good.

 

A lot of the supplementation I have been doing seems to be continuing to bring the desired results. However now I am fairly confident and certain that one of the meds I am on I want to be taken off of. It's for depression and one of it's side effects is something no young man want's to deal with, and I am beginning to think it's having that affect.

 

[cn3wton]

I ended up cutting out the "Beard Growth" multivitamin from my daily supplements.

 

I should have went with my gut when it said "vanilla flavored" that something was up. Whatever it was about it just didn't sit right in my stomach and I would burp up this horrific tasting stuff. It felt like my acid reflux was back near the end. I stopped them and almost immediately things returned to normal. So those will be going in the trash. Not sure if I want to add an actual multivitamin back in yet though.

 

To all you single guys like me out there, Online dating is a thing isn't it? I'm not hating it but man it is something else.

[The Most Loathed]

10 minutes ago, cn3wton said:

To all you single guys like me out there, Online dating is a thing isn't it? I'm not hating it but man it is something else.

For the 6 months or so that I did it, I didn't hate online dating. I never had a hook up or exchanged nudes because I'm too much of a prude so I tended to draw similarly prudish people. As a guy in a major metro, it seemed like, if you could tie your own shoes, you could get a date. Enough so that I really pulled back from it after a couple months. It was too accessible and I knew I needed to have my priorities in line to be able to filter for the people around me. I needed to approach it through an abundance mindset more than a scarcity mindset. 

 

My wife tells a different story of her time online dating. She was not a fan. Dudes were too prone to sending dick pics and being grabby. Most of the dudes she dated were not great people in her estimation. I obviously wasn't there so I can't say anything. 

 

When I think of my online dating, I mostly think of the "break ups". I had never had to be the one to tell someone it's over before that, so I got a little practice in. One in particular was a woman who latched on to me hard. She was one of my first actual dates and I didn't have my filters in place yet. One date and she wanted to start staying over. Five or six dates and she wanted to introduce me to her family. It was clear that it was not going a good way so I ended it and she then did not want to leave my apartment. I walked her to her car and she didn't want to to get in. She then didn't want to pull out of her spot. I was doing my best to be kind but firm but it took a lot to get her out of there, which just drove home that I was making the right call. 

[cn3wton]

20 minutes ago, The Most Loathed said:

For the 6 months or so that I did it, I didn't hate online dating. I never had a hook up or exchanged nudes because I'm too much of a prude so I tended to draw similarly prudish people. As a guy in a major metro, it seemed like, if you could tie your own shoes, you could get a date. Enough so that I really pulled back from it after a couple months. It was too accessible and I knew I needed to have my priorities in line to be able to filter for the people around me. I needed to approach it through an abundance mindset more than a scarcity mindset. 

 

My wife tells a different story of her time online dating. She was not a fan. Dudes were too prone to sending dick pics and being grabby. Most of the dudes she dated were not great people in her estimation. I obviously wasn't there so I can't say anything. 

 

When I think of my online dating, I mostly think of the "break ups". I had never had to be the one to tell someone it's over before that, so I got a little practice in. One in particular was a woman who latched on to me hard. She was one of my first actual dates and I didn't have my filters in place yet. One date and she wanted to start staying over. Five or six dates and she wanted to introduce me to her family. It was clear that it was not going a good way so I ended it and she then did not want to leave my apartment. I walked her to her car and she didn't want to to get in. She then didn't want to pull out of her spot. I was doing my best to be kind but firm but it took a lot to get her out of there, which just drove home that I was making the right call. 

 

I think that's a pretty good summary of it.

 

Personally I live in a bit more rural of an area, so scarcity is a possibility. I have for instance often run out of potential matches with my filters in place. At the same ticket even for me I have found pretty good success with starting a few conversations and even a few dates. I am also not a nudes kind of guy haha. I'm not necessarily going into every date expecting a long term relationship though. Which seems to be a big problem with a lot of the current women I have been speaking with. I am not necessarily "young" for sure being 33. But I am also not in some desperate rush and want to put crazy expectations on everything. I am in a somewhat sticky situation with the first girl I met. She wanted the second meetup to be at her house and I worry that it's getting a bit too clingy and I don't see it going anywhere for a lot of reasons.

 

I have the age range set to like +-5 years or so. And even a lot of the younger girls seem to have the same mentality. 

 

One of the big things it has done is help with my confidence though. Having at least a few matches/messages a day is a nice feeling.

[Red1263]

I live on the west coast. And for me, online dating didn't produce anything substancial. The few dates I got, I didn't see going anywhere. I met my now fiancée from an anime group that I was a part of. The guy running it, hosted a big meet up at a video game bar, I said I would help cohost and sure enough, I met the woman of my dreams. 

 

Granted, there is a lot of details I didn't mention, but I wanted to stay on topic ?

 

If I can ask my own question to you nerds: my beard skin has always had dry, flaky patches. Do you guys have any lotion or recommendations for this? 

[ElectricTrailRunner]

Beard oil,  I've tried a few different ones, I even made my own, depends on what you want to smell like and what purpose it's for, I made a bug repellent beard oil for when I'm out in the woods.  

[bailo]

@electrictrailrunner that is so smart. what did you use that was safe for your face?

[Red1263]

On 2/5/2024 at 10:28 AM, ElectricTrailRunner said:

Beard oil,  I've tried a few different ones, I even made my own, depends on what you want to smell like and what purpose it's for, I made a bug repellent beard oil for when I'm out in the woods.  

I found a website called Live Bearded and they have a complete set with Beard Oil and it has been a complete game changer. No more winter wonderland under my chin!

[ElectricTrailRunner]

On 7/2/2024 at 2:12 PM, bailo said:

@electrictrailrunner that is so smart. what did you use that was safe for your face?

Almond and Coconut oil

 

for bug repellant the essential oils of Marigold, Eucalyptus and Lemon