Just trying to get my mess together...again

[Novaurora]

Hi!!  

 

I'm a 28 year old teacher who has failed on this fitness road about every year since graduating college.  At my worst I was 190.  I'm currently 181, but I can't seen to get any traction due to a few key issues (excuses) that I always fall back on.  I need ya'lls help to keep me honest and help me defeat these obstacles to achieve my fitness/life goals.

 

1.  I have (diagnosed) ADD and anxiety.  So it creates a pattern of starting something (IIFYM, a project, a gym routine) but not being able to keep up with it on the scale I need to until eventually I just half ass it as I get distracted  or get so anxious about what other people may think, or whether I'm doing the right thing the right way, that I just crawl back inside myself and retreat.  I have an appointment with a doctor to get some medication for the ADD (not my first choice, but my therapist recommended it to help me when I feel I need it, not on a daily basis)

2. My husband's love of fast food.  He did olympic lifting for a long time and his body composition, despite not working out for the last 5 years, is still very different than mine.  He can eat things like Taco Bell or whatever else and it doesn't seem to matter.  And he LIKES to eat that way.  It is just temptation after temptation, and a lot of the time, quick food sounds better than cooking for one.  Meal planning will absolutely be my goal to fix this, and I have started a few time, only to let it lapse.  The saving grace is that neither of us keep junk in the house, so the stuff we are eating when we are home (because I do the shopping) are veggies and fruits and other things like that.

3. My job.  Sadly, a lot of the time my job ends up coming first: Before my relationship, my physical health, and my mental health.  I teach 11th and 12th grade English, so the grading can get overwhelming, not to mention I'm only in year 5 so I'm still tweaking a lot of things that I do, and for whatever reason I'm always trying to reinvent the wheel.  I love my job, I love my students, but I know they take up an unhealthy amount of my time and attention.

 

Ultimately, I chose ranger for my class for a few reasons.  I really want to get into lifting.  I don't just want to be skinny, I want to be strong and I want to be fit.  I have wandered into the free weight area at the Y, only to have my anxiety (my great nemesis) tell me I don't belong there because we don't really know what we're doing, and we will probably just mess it up anyway.  So it usually just ends with me grabbing a ten pound kettlebell and finding a corner somewhere because I have an app on my phone with routines.  So there's that.

 

I'm also way into the outdoors, and years ago participated in RAGBRAI (a bike ride across the great state of Iowa).  And my dad (who went the first time) has somehow convinced me to do it again this summer.  So, having not touched my bike in about 2 years, I have a year to prep for that.  I'm excited, but at the same time, last time I went (at 21) I only trained like 108 miles for the 480 mile trip and my youth got me through that trip.  Can't depend on that anymore.  I also live by the ocean and love to swim.  I joined the Y specifically because  I wanted a pool.  I like pools because everyone is in their own world and no once cares what you do as long as you are willing to split a lane if need be.

 

In terms of life goals: I am 90k into a fantasy novel that I want to finish before school starts back up, and I want to get my ADD and anxiety to a place where I am efficient enough to keep up with my job, my household duties (split 50/50 with hubs), and my health, while not being so dang worried about everything all the time.

 

So yeah. That's me.  I really thrive on being part of a community and having a support system and accountability.  I look forward to working on myself, and encouraging ya'll in your journeys too.

[Plazmotic]

Welcome! And as a wannabe writer (23K into my own fantasy novel) I am so impressed with how far you’ve gotten, wish you good luck in all your goals!

[Wobbegong]

Welcome Stribs! Sounds like you know just what you want to do and have the means to do it, which is great! We'll be here to help with accountability and cheerleading  

 

Let us know if you have any questions about the forums or your routine or need any help with anything. We're a friendly lot and happy to assist. 

 

5 hours ago, Stribs said:

I have an appointment with a doctor to get some medication for the ADD (not my first choice, but my therapist recommended it to help me when I feel I need it, not on a daily basis)

If you were nearsighted, you would have the option of just living your life squinting at everything and struggling to get around your personal issue. You would still be living a life, just not with quite the same access to the way everyone else was living. 

 

Or you could get glasses or contacts and see the same world everyone else sees, with the same level of effort everyone else uses to see it. No one would ever say, "Oh, well I guess if you've decided it's right for you, but I would never..." to a person about needing to use glasses, so why should we throw shade on someone who needs medicine or therapy or anything else? If it's side effects you're worried about, that's a different story, but stigma for the sake of stigma just sucks. You do whatever you need to do!  

[Novaurora]

1 hour ago, Wobbegong said:

If you were nearsighted, you would have the option of just living your life squinting at everything and struggling to get around your personal issue. You would still be living a life, just not with quite the same access to the way everyone else was living. 

 

Or you could get glasses or contacts and see the same world everyone else sees, with the same level of effort everyone else uses to see it. No one would ever say, "Oh, well I guess if you've decided it's right for you, but I would never..." to a person about needing to use glasses, so why should we throw shade on someone who needs medicine or therapy or anything else? If it's side effects you're worried about, that's a different story, but stigma for the sake of stigma just sucks.

 

This makes so much sense.  Thank you.  

[Elastigirl]

Welcome! Woot for being brave enough to sign up for the bike ride.

 

On the lifting, first off, let me say kettlebells are an excellent way to work out, and if that is what you want to do, you can get in great shape doing it. But since you mentioned you would like to lift, I thought I'd offer a suggestion. (others may have more suggestions, I don't lift, I do kettlebells) It is not uncommon to feel overwhelmed or that you don't belong. A lot of us feel that way. You said you liked the app for kettlebells, maybe you can get a program for lifting. I know there are some. Having a set routine of what to do sometimes makes it a bit easier. If you want to do more kettlebell stuff, I like the book SImple and Sinister.

[Novaurora]

3 hours ago, Plazmotic said:

Welcome! And as a wannabe writer (23K into my own fantasy novel) I am so impressed with how far you’ve gotten, wish you good luck in all your goals!

 

Thank you!  And 23k is no small feat either!!! I hope your story is coming along well!  

[Novaurora]

6 minutes ago, Elastigirl said:

If you want to do more kettlebell stuff, I like the book SImple and Sinister.

 

Sweet! Thanks for the resource! I definitely enjoy the kettlebells, and Iand they've been great so far because I can do them on my own with little instruction from other people.  My gym offers 5 free half hour training sessions, and I have a friend who is teaching me some of the basic moves for body pump (a class offered at the Y) so I think my foray into lifting might be a slow one, but it's definitely a goal.  

[zeroh13]

Welcome Stribs!

 

I have a ton of problems with concentration and focus. (My first psychiatrist thought it was ADHD, then my current one had me do some testing and it turned out that my problems weren't caused by ADHD...)  I think one thing that helps is trying to build habits. Once something is automatic/natural I don't have to think about it so much and I can spend my concentration on other things. I also do well with being organized and having things scheduled out. Again, less thinking about it on a day to day basis. It's also good to start small and only really try to change one or two things at a time. It won't seem like you're doing much at first, but it adds up.

 

With the fast food, try gradually reducing the number of times you eat out each week. Like say you normally get fast food five days a week, get it only four days a week. And when you're comfortable with reduce it to three days. And so on. 

 

Being 90k into writing a novel is so awesome! The furthest I ever got was just over 50k the one time I actually finished NaNoWriMo. 

 

Be sure to check out the four week challenges, our current one is almost over, but the next one will be up soon. I've found that they're really good at keeping me accountable.

 

Good luck on your goals!

[Novaurora]

8 minutes ago, zeroh13 said:

It's also good to start small and only really try to change one or two things at a time. It won't seem like you're doing much at first, but it adds up.

 

 
I think this is one of my main issues.  For example, I was doing really well writing 1000 words a day for like 2 weeks.  I was getting up at 5am, making time, etc etc.  This week, I decided to go back to the gym, and I've been great with that, but I've only written 1000 words all week.  I always want to reboot in a big way because I'm impatient but it always ends up backfiring.  Hopefully this next round of challenges, I can focus on a couple of key things and maybe get them down.  Thanks for the advice and the welcome!!

[VellaMal]

Hey - thought I'd wander in and say hi here

 

Best of luck to you with your goals! Hope to see you here on the forums kicking butt.

 

Also, woo fellow fantasy writers! I'm rewriting a 105k novel at the moment because it had serious plot issues. Maybe starting with a smaller number of words (350 is a number that gets thrown around a lot) per day could help, since it won't seem to take up as much time? Plus, you get to feel good about exceeding your wordcount more often.

[Novaurora]

7 minutes ago, VellaMal said:

Also, woo fellow fantasy writers! I'm rewriting a 105k novel at the moment because it had serious plot issues. Maybe starting with a smaller number of words (350 is a number that gets thrown around a lot) per day could help, since it won't seem to take up as much time? Plus, you get to feel good about exceeding your wordcount more often.

 

lol.  I'm not even thinking about the major plot issues this one might have until I finish it, but being finished with a first draft is awesome!  Congrats!  Is there a writers thread in the forums?   It would be great to have specific support for that too, even though it's not fitness!

[VellaMal]

Just now, Stribs said:

 

lol.  I'm not even thinking about the major plot issues this one might have until I finish it, but being finished with a first draft is awesome!  Congrats!  Is there a writers thread in the forums?   It would be great to have specific support for that too, even though it's not fitness!

 

Uuuuhhh ... honestly not sure about that! I haven't seen one on a quick scan, though I haven't had time to reacquaint with the whole forum yet. It'd be great to have one, though.

[Novaurora]

11 minutes ago, VellaMal said:

 

Uuuuhhh ... honestly not sure about that! I haven't seen one on a quick scan, though I haven't had time to reacquaint with the whole forum yet. It'd be great to have one, though.

 

We should see about getting them to add one under the "level up your life" section.  You're the 2nd writer I've met in this thread alone, and I'm sure more would come out of the woodwork if there was a space for us to come together.

[zoegrrl]

I'm excited that you are here again. I have failed a lot too, but I'm also here, still trying and still working. It feels like this is the human experience. Your life passes whether you try to make your life better or not. We have to try. Sometimes I just think, what am I going to tell myself when I get to the end of my life? What did I do with my time?

 

Haha now I feel like I should put the laptop down.

 

My partner also can/wants to eat all kinds of things I love but really can't partake of, and it's difficult. It's not malicious or anything, it's not some kind of sabotage. I'm diabetic, and I work hard to take the least amount of insulin and drugs that I can, which means no wiggle room in the diet at all. I have had to make the conscious decision to separate our meals. Even though I cook for her a lot. But I still give in sometimes because it's too easy. I wish I had an answer. Just here to say yeah that shit is an obstacle.

 

Also I manage mental illness, and it's tricky. It doesn't always work. But I feel you. I admire your goals! You already do a lot, looking forward to seeing what you get up to next.

[zeroh13]

@Stribs and @VellaMal, there's two or three writers threads around. I'm not sure how often anyone posts to them anymore. And a NaNoWriMo thread usually pops up around October.

[Sciread77]

I can understand the plight of the high school English teacher. My wife teaches drama, but before she landed this job her other schools made her teach mostly English classes. The grading is brutal, and 100% of the reason I decided to forego the English/language certification and stick with easy things like science and math. The grading on those are very fast and easy in comparison, and I know because I've helped grade in a crunch before. So kudos to you, because it's grueling work.

 

Writing is awesome, and two of my longest friends are published writers. I've been a beta reader for years, and I know it helps motivate my friends to know someone is always waiting for the next part/iteration of the plot.

 

MI can be a struggle. Mine has been very well managed with meds for several years. It took some time after I started them, but I found ones that work, a good doctor to work with, and I'm not quite as exposed to my family. I love them dearly but they're a

cluster of anxiety that triggers my own anxiety more efficiently than a spider riding a snake biting my toes. A healthy and supportive environment can do wonders for effective MI management.

 

Best of luck to you, welcome, and thanks for your support on the other thread!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Novaurora]

@Plazmotic @VellaMal There's one under the "Book Club" section just asking who writes.  Not sure how active it is.  Will continue the search.

[VellaMal]

11 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

@Stribs and @VellaMal, there's two or three writers threads around. I'm not sure how often anyone posts to them anymore. And a NaNoWriMo thread usually pops up around October.

 

Yeah, I remember there being a few last time I was here. Maybe we'll start by trying to revive some discussion in the Pub or Book Club before we request a separate section for the forums

[Novaurora]

1 minute ago, VellaMal said:

 

Maybe we'll start by trying to revive some discussion in the Pub or Book Club before we request a separate section for the forums

 

Probably the best plan of attack.  I dig it.

[VellaMal]

4 hours ago, Stribs said:

 

Probably the best plan of attack.  I dig it.

 

Excellent. @Plazmotic, we'll be organising NerdFitness writing sessions in no time!

[zeroh13]

6 hours ago, VellaMal said:

 

Excellent. @Plazmotic, we'll be organising NerdFitness writing sessions in no time!

For those of you doing the next four week challenge, I'm planning on making an accountabilibuddy (that word's a mouthful) group for writers.

[Novaurora]

@zeroh13 That sounds perfect!!

[VellaMal]

18 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

For those of you doing the next four week challenge, I'm planning on making an accountabilibuddy (that word's a mouthful) group for writers.

 

Awesome! That sounds great!