LGBTQA and Ally Safe Space

[Frost of the Gloaming]

I'm sitting here laughing because, I dislike milk, I dislike most cheese, hate cottage cheese and bleu cheese but I will eat an entire half gallon of ice cream in one sitting.

[shaeon]

Hey now. We accept all sexual orientations, gender identities, and dairy consumption preferences here. Let's all get along. No dairy shaming.  

And here is a kitten that cannot with this milk. 

 

[Tkal]

I didn't realize things were like that in Italy. It's actually rare for me to hear that the US is MORE progressive about something than Europe is, so that's fascinating. Is Italy where you are? And are you saying they don't force the genital reconstruction, but they do require castration and sterilization? That does sound like a mess. I'm sorry to hear about that.

I think (but it is just an impression, so I can be completely wrong) that the things in US were easier because of lack of regulation. I was appalled to read that if you want to change name, you just put down the new one in your driving licence or little more. Maybe not in every state, but still... Here in many countries you have a bulk of legislation that has been there since the middle ages (or earlier), and that makes some things slower. I cannot say worse, just different

Anyway, I am Italian, but I live in the Netherlands. Since I have an Italian passport, I depends on Italian laws for the name change. But for the medical part I depend on Dutch law. With a Dutch passport I could have had new documents already long ago, just with a certificate from an accredited therapist. Dutch law changed last year, before that it was possible to have the documents only after the removal of your reproductive organs. The same rule applies also in Italy: you get the documents once you can prove to a judge+expert committee that you are sterile, which in 90% means surgical removal of gonads+uterus (for FTM). Actually in Italy you need the judge to give you also permission for the surgeries, since it is against the law to remove healthy organs.

All in all I am lucky, I'll see the judge only once. True that what I save on the legal expenses will go into the certified translations I need, but still

Why this thing that to get new documents you must be castrated? I don't know the Dutch reasoning, but in Italy it is not strictly a requirement of the law, although it has become common practice since it was considered a disturbance for public safety the possibility for a man to become pregnant, same as for a woman to impregnate another woman. And changing the way a law is applied is almost as difficult as changing the law itself, as we are seeing with marriage equality. Search me why the content of my underwear or the underwear of my partner is a matter of public security... For sure in all this the Roman Catholic Church has its weight. Let's not forget that Rome is the capital of two countries and the Vatican has a great influence on Italian politics and they are not so open on LGBT and ethical themes

[shaeon]

I think (but it is just an impression, so I can be completely wrong) that the things in US were easier because of lack of regulation. I was appalled to read that if you want to change name, you just put down the new one in your driving licence or little more. Maybe not in every state, but still... Here in many countries you have a bulk of legislation that has been there since the middle ages (or earlier), and that makes some things slower. I cannot say worse, just different

Anyway, I am Italian, but I live in the Netherlands. Since I have an Italian passport, I depends on Italian laws for the name change. But for the medical part I depend on Dutch law. With a Dutch passport I could have had new documents already long ago, just with a certificate from an accredited therapist. Dutch law changed last year, before that it was possible to have the documents only after the removal of your reproductive organs. The same rule applies also in Italy: you get the documents once you can prove to a judge+expert committee that you are sterile, which in 90% means surgical removal of gonads+uterus (for FTM). Actually in Italy you need the judge to give you also permission for the surgeries, since it is against the law to remove healthy organs.

All in all I am lucky, I'll see the judge only once. True that what I save on the legal expenses will go into the certified translations I need, but still

Why this thing that to get new documents you must be castrated? I don't know the Dutch reasoning, but in Italy it is not strictly a requirement of the law, although it has become common practice since it was considered a disturbance for public safety the possibility for a man to become pregnant, same as for a woman to impregnate another woman. And changing the way a law is applied is almost as difficult as changing the law itself, as we are seeing with marriage equality. Search me why the content of my underwear or the underwear of my partner is a matter of public security... For sure in all this the Roman Catholic Church has its weight. Let's not forget that Rome is the capital of two countries and the Vatican has a great influence on Italian politics and they are not so open on LGBT and ethical themes

I don't think in any place in the world, things are as easy as "you just put down a new name". I have a friend who has been divorced for years, and the Department of Motor Vehicles can still bring her to tears when she's just trying to renew her driver's license and she has to struggle to prove to them that she does actually exist, with this "new" name that she had for years and years before she married and then divorced. I also live in Alabama. We are not a progressive state. Regardless of the law, there's always the strong likelihood that the person you speak to will be prejudiced and will be unhelpful. So laws are one thing, bureaucracy is another thing altogether. 

I will say however that in the US, I doubt any law restricts the removal of any organs unless removing them would constitute murder/assisted suicide. 

Hm. Well, it does make sense that the main problem is that the laws are very old. I think another problem all over the world is that changing laws is a slow process, which is certainly a problem that affects those of us in the LGBT community. I'm sorry to hear the predicament you're in there; you're right, there's no real logic to it. So is your response to this that you are going to go through with the surgery in order to get the name change? 

[kaelvan]

Hey now. We accept all sexual orientations, gender identities, and dairy consumption preferences here. Let's all get along. No dairy shaming.  

And here is a kitten that cannot with this milk. 

 

Fine, but I'm starting the trend of bleucheesesexual...actually on second thought that name is too awful. Maybe someday I'll come up with better name.

 

US progressive? *laughing* Come to my part of NY and I'll show this "progressiveness". Most of the state is redneck central with the expections of NYC, Long Island, few of the smaller cities, and parts of Westchester. Come on, I have a freakin KKK member next door.

[Hit]

 

 

Dutch law changed last year, before that it was possible to have the documents only after the removal of your reproductive organs. The same rule applies also in Italy: you get the documents once you can prove to a judge+expert committee that you are sterile, which in 90% means surgical removal of gonads+uterus (for FTM). Actually in Italy you need the judge to give you also permission for the surgeries, since it is against the law to remove healthy organs.

 

Goddamn fascists That's horrible tkal. I hope you can find a loophole through all that bullshit! 

[Frost of the Gloaming]

Follow the Thru-way Kaevlan that's where all the progressives live 

[Twilight]

I will say however that in the US, I doubt any law restricts the removal of any organs unless removing them would constitute murder/assisted suicide.

 

Forced/nonconsentual sterilization has been practiced in North America in very, very recent times.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsory_sterilization#United_States

 

148 female prisoners in two California institutions were sterilized between 2006 and 2010 in a supposedly voluntary program involving the suppression of women of closer equal status in personal assertion capacity to men, but voluntary consent can not be given while under duress.[68] In September 2014, California enacted Bill SB 1135 that bans sterilization in correctional facilities, unless the procedure shall be required in a medical emergency to preserve inmate's life.[69]

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

So...erhm...holy shit, guise. Holy shit. Things are happening.

 

When we last left our hero, Naxius had just given the "I'm really a guy" letter to his father, essentially sticking his neck out on the chopping block and waiting to see whether the axe would fall or not.

 

The axe did not fall.

 

Since then, I've gotten confirmation from my father that he did read the letter completely, but he didn't talk to me about it (I had to ask if he had read it fully, too). I understand that it's a lot to take in all at once, and I do realize that they won't be miraculously accepting and supportive overnight. But there is hope. I've also had the talk with my mother, and I got the same impression: not happy about this at all, but not the get-the-fuck-out-of-the-house level of upset.

 

I remember there was a discussion about this several pages back, about family not being totally accepting, etc. The general consensus was that, as people became visibly happier, family became more and more okay with the changes. I'm hoping this is what will happen. I still live at home and the day-to-day interactions haven't changed, even though they know now that some...changes are going to happen to me in the near future. It probably helps lessen the shock that I've come out like 4 times in the past, but whatever.

 

Right, changes.

 

I was encouraged by a counselor on campus to book an appointment with my family doctor to get the referrals process started. I was able to have this appointment yesterday due to someone else cancelling their appointment, which was awesome. Now the next wait time will probably be about 4 months, but...holy shit, things moving forward?

 

Aaaand I, ehh...sort of contacted a private clinic that does plastic surgeries regarding future lack of boobs. I have a phone consultation booked with them for a little less than a month from now. It's terrifying and extremely exciting all at the same time. It's like...I won't be miserable for the rest of my life? Best case scenario is that I'll be a bit lighter within 2 to 3 months. I still can't believe it. I just hope it's not too early in the game to tell my folks that "o hey, I'm getting surgery soon, k"

 

Figured I'd post this here because me being trans isn't FaceBook official yet ;P And I'm actually happy for once.

 

The forced sterilization thing makes me a bit less happy, but hopefully I don't have to deal with this kind of fuckery in Canada x_X (Although I do know that they won't let you board planes if your appearance doesn't match your gender marker, and I'm not sure if the gender marker can be changed at will, or if I need a fuckton of surgeries and paperwork to get it changed.)

[kaelvan]

Follow the Thru-way Kaevlan that's where all the progressives live 

Depends on what parts of the thru-way, you'll be pretty disappointed

[Twilight]

Congratulations!!

 

Gender identity is a protected category in Ontario, but not federally. As far as I know, you don't need to have top+bottom surgery to change your paperwork, but I haven't looked into it extensively.

[Bekah]

So...erhm...holy shit, guise. Holy shit. Things are happening.

 

When we last left our hero, Naxius had just given the "I'm really a guy" letter to his father, essentially sticking his neck out on the chopping block and waiting to see whether the axe would fall or not.

 

The axe did not fall.

 

Since then, I've gotten confirmation from my father that he did read the letter completely, but he didn't talk to me about it (I had to ask if he had read it fully, too). I understand that it's a lot to take in all at once, and I do realize that they won't be miraculously accepting and supportive overnight. But there is hope. I've also had the talk with my mother, and I got the same impression: not happy about this at all, but not the get-the-fuck-out-of-the-house level of upset.

 

I remember there was a discussion about this several pages back, about family not being totally accepting, etc. The general consensus was that, as people became visibly happier, family became more and more okay with the changes. I'm hoping this is what will happen. I still live at home and the day-to-day interactions haven't changed, even though they know now that some...changes are going to happen to me in the near future. It probably helps lessen the shock that I've come out like 4 times in the past, but whatever.

 

Right, changes.

 

I was encouraged by a counselor on campus to book an appointment with my family doctor to get the referrals process started. I was able to have this appointment yesterday due to someone else cancelling their appointment, which was awesome. Now the next wait time will probably be about 4 months, but...holy shit, things moving forward?

 

Aaaand I, ehh...sort of contacted a private clinic that does plastic surgeries regarding future lack of boobs. I have a phone consultation booked with them for a little less than a month from now. It's terrifying and extremely exciting all at the same time. It's like...I won't be miserable for the rest of my life? Best case scenario is that I'll be a bit lighter within 2 to 3 months. I still can't believe it. I just hope it's not too early in the game to tell my folks that "o hey, I'm getting surgery soon, k"

 

Figured I'd post this here because me being trans isn't FaceBook official yet ;P And I'm actually happy for once.

 

The forced sterilization thing makes me a bit less happy, but hopefully I don't have to deal with this kind of fuckery in Canada x_X (Although I do know that they won't let you board planes if your appearance doesn't match your gender marker, and I'm not sure if the gender marker can be changed at will, or if I need a fuckton of surgeries and paperwork to get it changed.)

yay like giant sized rainbows and confetti, throw a fucking party with glitter and shit yay  

[kaelvan]

Yay Nax

 

 

 

Sorry someone messed up your cake

[Vella]

*high fives for Naxius*  That's awesome!  Well done  Here's hoping things continue to go well for you!

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

\o/ Thanks everyone!

 

kaelvan - LMAO @ the cake.

 

The only thing now is that I need to send boobie pics to the clinic where I want to get the surgery and...it feels kinda' awkward o_O

[Hit]

Congrats Naxius, glad to hear that things are moving along swiftly! 4 months sounds like a hectic wait for an endo, is there any way you can expedite that process? (or am i just reading you wrong?)

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Congrats Naxius, glad to hear that things are moving along swiftly! 4 months sounds like a hectic wait for an endo, is there any way you can expedite that process? (or am i just reading you wrong?)

 

TY!

 

4 months is about the norm here in Canada, sadly. Or at least it's the norm in this province (NB) in Canada :\ I've heard of people who had to wait up to a year. It's ridiculous.

 

That being said, I got a call from the endo today, and she told me that she could refer me to a new clinic that just opened instead, if I wanted to. The doctor at the new clinic can essentially do the same thing that the endocrinologist would do. Oh, and the new clinic? It specializes in reproductive health services as well as services for trans people. THEY ARE GIVING LGBTQ PEOPLE PRIORITY AND I CAN'T EVEN EXPRESS HOW GREAT THIS IS.

 

(By "priority" I mean for getting people off the wait list for a family doctor. That's right, this province has a 2+ year wait list just to get a family doctor. I already have a family doctor, so I'm assuming I'll only be going to the new clinic for hormones and trans-specific things.)

 

Oh, and I got an appointment for next week. NEXT. WEEK. It's like I'm butting every lineup and I'm not even sorry lol. It's only an intake appointment but it's something!

[leemh]

That sounds great!!

[Twilight]

AWW YEAH! That's great!!

 

Sending pics of your chest to your doctor can be nerve-wracking for sure. Does it help to know that they're professionals who have seen it all?

[Bekah]

TY!

 

4 months is about the norm here in Canada, sadly. Or at least it's the norm in this province (NB) in Canada :\ I've heard of people who had to wait up to a year. It's ridiculous.

 

That being said, I got a call from the endo today, and she told me that she could refer me to a new clinic that just opened instead, if I wanted to. The doctor at the new clinic can essentially do the same thing that the endocrinologist would do. Oh, and the new clinic? It specializes in reproductive health services as well as services for trans people. THEY ARE GIVING LGBTQ PEOPLE PRIORITY AND I CAN'T EVEN EXPRESS HOW GREAT THIS IS.

 

(By "priority" I mean for getting people off the wait list for a family doctor. That's right, this province has a 2+ year wait list just to get a family doctor. I already have a family doctor, so I'm assuming I'll only be going to the new clinic for hormones and trans-specific things.)

 

Oh, and I got an appointment for next week. NEXT. WEEK. It's like I'm butting every lineup and I'm not even sorry lol. It's only an intake appointment but it's something!

I dunno about you, but I see this as the Universe saying "Great Job Nax, it's time for some easier shit in your life, so here you go" and its AWESOMESAUCE  

[Companion]

Yay Nax!

[Fearkiller]

That chaos komix is just some deep stuff. Just... whoa.

All of it, just. I've learned a lot of new stuff.

World is a complicated place.

[Hit]

its goddamn brutal by the end of it. brilliantly done imo.

[shaeon]

I came across this kickstarter today for Lightspeed Magazine. I've never read their stuff but it seems pretty cool. I think I'm going to contribute. Thought I would pass it along. 

Also, it looks like instead of the LGBTetc they use QUILTBAG. I like it. It's cute.

[kaelvan]

I came across this kickstarter today for Lightspeed Magazine. I've never read their stuff but it seems pretty cool. I think I'm going to contribute. Thought I would pass it along. 

Also, it looks like instead of the LGBTetc they use QUILTBAG. I like it. It's cute.

I may of cried over reading that Cecil Baldwin, the guy who voices Cecil Palmer of Night Vale, is involved.