Battle Kitten: Ascension

[fleaball]

That guy looks awesome. There were a bunch of adult cats at the shelter when I went for orientation forever ago and I wanted to take them all home with me. Hopefully I'll get a decent grownup job after graduation and will be able to afford a place somewhere that allows cats. Aaaaalllll the cats. 

 

Someone go to my gynecologist appointment for me tomorrow. I don't wanna. It's so far away. D: I'm gonna wind up leaving super early and hanging out at a mall down the street just to avoid the traffic. 

[Owlet]

1 minute ago, fleaball said:

Someone go to my gynecologist appointment for me tomorrow. I don't wanna. It's so far away. D: I'm gonna wind up leaving super early and hanging out at a mall down the street just to avoid the traffic. 

I mean, I would... but I'm willing to bet it's further away for me to go  Plus I'd have to go through LAX and fuck that. Hey weren't you going to use swears in your new challenge title?

 

1 minute ago, fleaball said:

 

That guy looks awesome. There were a bunch of adult cats at the shelter when I went for orientation forever ago and I wanted to take them all home with me. Hopefully I'll get a decent grownup job after graduation and will be able to afford a place somewhere that allows cats. Aaaaalllll the cats. 

I guess in that respect, I could get a cat, since I have a supposedly grownup job. But I hate looking for flats so much and it seems hard enough just to find somewhere where I like the people, the location, the house itself, and the price. I'm scared if I add a cat into the equation it'll just be infinitely harder to find a suitable house. Maybe I should just suck it up and deal. Or build a cabin on a beautiful hillside somewhere and close myself off from civilisation...

[fleaball]

6 minutes ago, Owlet said:

I mean, I would... but I'm willing to bet it's further away for me to go  Plus I'd have to go through LAX and fuck that. Hey weren't you going to use swears in your new challenge title?

Well it's the thought that counts.  I'm saving that title for a better challenge. It doesn't quite fit with my less intense goals this round.

 

8 minutes ago, Owlet said:

I guess in that respect, I could get a cat, since I have a supposedly grownup job. But I hate looking for flats so much and it seems hard enough just to find somewhere where I like the people, the location, the house itself, and the price. I'm scared if I add a cat into the equation it'll just be infinitely harder to find a suitable house. Maybe I should just suck it up and deal. Or build a cabin on a beautiful hillside somewhere and close myself off from civilisation...

I totally get that. When I say 'grownup job' I mean 'job that pays well enough that I can cover all my bills and also afford to live alone with this cat and not have to deal with people OR moving after my lease is up.' Like, our lease here is done once landlord guy comes back from Europe, so even if cats were allowed here it'd be a shitty thing because we're moving eventually and I'll still be in school so I can't pay too much in rent. Etc. 

[fleaball]

Epic thunderstorm rolling through and my lights are flickering. Do not want. Thank you.

[Owlet]

39 minutes ago, fleaball said:

Epic thunderstorm rolling through and my lights are flickering. Do not want. Thank you.

Dude, you need to watch Stranger Things! But not while your lights are flickering, that would be too freaky  Run along now thunderstorm.

[fleaball]

We got our time for the Spartan and now it's becoming real and scary(er)! *flaps about* The clothes I ordered aren't getting here til Tuesday. Something in that box had better fit or I'm screwed. 

 

So. This gynecologist was fucking amazing. I spent 45 minutes in his office asking all the questions I wanted to ask and getting actual answers. Walked out with a prescription for the pill which, ugh, but the benefits can't really be ignored at this point. Also holding off on seeing a psychiatrist now to see if the pill does anything for my anxiety. He says it will definitely help the PMS-related anxiety and might help overall; my therapist also said it might work by leveling out hormones in general. Fingers crossed. U

 

Ugh. I was gonna ~do stuff.~ And then suddenly anxiety out of nowhere and also I seem to have lost an hour of my life somewhere? Gonna go make tea and read and go to bed at a reasonable hour like an actual adult. (She says at what is already bedtime for a lot of people...)

[Owlet]

34 minutes ago, fleaball said:

This gynecologist was fucking amazing. I spent 45 minutes in his office asking all the questions I wanted to ask and getting actual answers.

Amazing! What a relief eh  

35 minutes ago, fleaball said:

He says it will definitely help the PMS-related anxiety and might help overall; my therapist also said it might work by leveling out hormones in general. Fingers crossed.

Double-crossed! Worth a try I reckon. I've been on the pill for years and it's pretty great. Fixed up my bad skin too  

 

36 minutes ago, fleaball said:

Ugh. I was gonna ~do stuff.~ And then suddenly anxiety out of nowhere and also I seem to have lost an hour of my life somewhere? Gonna go make tea and read and go to bed at a reasonable hour like an actual adult.

Booo anxiety, but yay bed! Happy dreams. Hope you feel more awesome tomorrow

[fleaball]

18 minutes ago, Owlet said:

Amazing! What a relief eh  

Double-crossed! Worth a try I reckon. I've been on the pill for years and it's pretty great. Fixed up my bad skin too  

 

Booo anxiety, but yay bed! Happy dreams. Hope you feel more awesome tomorrow

Such a relief. I am a happy Flea. Minus the inconvenience (did I spell that right? I'm so tired) of having to take a pill at the same time every day for the next 30-odd years, but it's a small sacrifice. I wish I'd seen a gynecologist years ago. D: Ooooh. I don't really have acne problems but my face is really oily. I wonder if it will calm that down. I'm mildly excited. Thanks for reminding me of that lol. 

 

I have not gone to bed yet because I realized I forgot to buy something on Amazon and am now scouring the interwebs to figure out what I need. Yay. x_x

[Owlet]

2 hours ago, fleaball said:

having to take a pill at the same time every day for the next 30-odd years, but it's a small sacrifice.

I asked my doc about this recently because I'm not very good at taking it at the same time and she said it doesn't really matter that much. Although maybe that was more in terms of it actually working as a contraceptive, not sure how it would affect your hormone levels.

[Bookish Badger]

10 hours ago, fleaball said:

of having to take a pill at the same time every day for the next 30-odd years

 

I was on the pill for most of 20+ years & it isn't a big deal. Just take it right after you brush your teeth in the morning. After a month or so, it just becomes one more thing you do every day when you get up. You don't need to-the-minute timing or anything.

[fleaball]

11 hours ago, Owlet said:

I asked my doc about this recently because I'm not very good at taking it at the same time and she said it doesn't really matter that much. Although maybe that was more in terms of it actually working as a contraceptive, not sure how it would affect your hormone levels.

 

3 hours ago, Bookish Badger said:

 

I was on the pill for most of 20+ years & it isn't a big deal. Just take it right after you brush your teeth in the morning. After a month or so, it just becomes one more thing you do every day when you get up. You don't need to-the-minute timing or anything.

Noted! I know my roommate definitely doesnt take it at the same time every day either. This is good.

[fleaball]

UPS guy happens to come to the door as I walk by it. And it's glass so of course he can see me so I can't ignore him. I'm wearing a super thin pj tank top and no bra. >_> fun times. And I'm so sad bc this package was compression leg sleeves from Target, which are totally hot pink on the website but bubblegum pink irl.  

 

Now I suppose I should put on a bra and go get my pills. And dinner. It's like my body knew this was coming bc I am bleeding like a motherfucker and have no desire to do anything but curl up in the fetal position. I did not sign up for this shit. 

[Bookish Badger]

Being a woman is nonstop empowerment and glamour, right?

[fleaball]

1 minute ago, Bookish Badger said:

Being a woman is nonstop empowerment and glamour, right?

So much. I love it. 

[fleaball]

Somehow I've convinced myself I'm going to get a blood clot and die, having taken my first pill two hours ago. Jesus. Super unfounded, but that's how I roll. I know I'm just anxious because today's a bad period day, and the pharmacy was crazy, and there is a constant undercurrent of anxiety surrounding the Spartan (I'm totally not in shape, I have to break in my shoes and hope they work okay, the clothes I ordered are coming in Tuesday and idk if they fit, events like that make me anxious in general with the get there early/lines at registration/lines elsewhere/omg omg so many things to remember), among other things. I realize this Spartan anxiety is largely uncalled for but no matter how many times anyone tells me it will be okay, I'm going to worry about it.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

[NeverThatBored]

47 minutes ago, fleaball said:

Somehow I've convinced myself I'm going to get a blood clot and die, having taken my first pill two hours ago. Jesus. Super unfounded, but that's how I roll. I know I'm just anxious because today's a bad period day, and the pharmacy was crazy, and there is a constant undercurrent of anxiety surrounding the Spartan (I'm totally not in shape, I have to break in my shoes and hope they work okay, the clothes I ordered are coming in Tuesday and idk if they fit, events like that make me anxious in general with the get there early/lines at registration/lines elsewhere/omg omg so many things to remember), among other things. I realize this Spartan anxiety is largely uncalled for but no matter how many times anyone tells me it will be okay, I'm going to worry about it.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

Just remember that sylvaa will be there, and she knows what she's doing! So none of the early line registration stuff should defeat you. Also, you are not allowed to get blood clots and die because you talked me into this race and now we have to suffer together! 

[Owlet]

46 minutes ago, fleaball said:

Somehow I've convinced myself I'm going to get a blood clot and die, having taken my first pill two hours ago. Jesus. Super unfounded, but that's how I roll. I know I'm just anxious because today's a bad period day, and the pharmacy was crazy, and there is a constant undercurrent of anxiety surrounding the Spartan (I'm totally not in shape, I have to break in my shoes and hope they work okay, the clothes I ordered are coming in Tuesday and idk if they fit, events like that make me anxious in general with the get there early/lines at registration/lines elsewhere/omg omg so many things to remember), among other things. I realize this Spartan anxiety is largely uncalled for but no matter how many times anyone tells me it will be okay, I'm going to worry about it.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Nah you'll be fine. Which you know, but just telling you again heh. For what it's worth I've never heard of anyone getting blood clots from the pill. I'm on a lower dosage one because I get migraines occasionally, but the doctors are still super chill about it all. And when I asked mine about other options she summed up by saying there isn't really any better alternative. Come on science, give us more options to fix all our ovary issues! As for Spartan, I reckon your fellow NFers will take great care of you/are in a similar boat anyway. Try to think of it as just a random obstacle course you're doing for laughs and it'll make a good story lol. Plus adrenaline will get you a long way even when you wouldn't normally be able to do something. Good luck with the clothing! End of the day, it's going to get covered in mud anyway, right? 

[fleaball]

Just now, NeverThatBored said:

Just remember that sylvaa will be there, and she knows what she's doing! So none of the early line registration stuff should defeat you. Also, you are not allowed to get blood clots and die because you talked me into this race and now we have to suffer together! 

I keep reminded myself of that. It's helping, and going there with her is helping as well because it means she's in charge, but because my brain is ridiculous I know this feeling won't go away completely. Oh well. I promise not to die before the Spartan.

 

3 minutes ago, Owlet said:

Nah you'll be fine. Which you know, but just telling you again heh. For what it's worth I've never heard of anyone getting blood clots from the pill. I'm on a lower dosage one because I get migraines occasionally, but the doctors are still super chill about it all. And when I asked mine about other options she summed up by saying there isn't really any better alternative. Come on science, give us more options to fix all our ovary issues! As for Spartan, I reckon your fellow NFers will take great care of you/are in a similar boat anyway. Try to think of it as just a random obstacle course you're doing for laughs and it'll make a good story lol. Plus adrenaline will get you a long way even when you wouldn't normally be able to do something. Good luck with the clothing! End of the day, it's going to get covered in mud anyway, right? 

Yeah I stopped and thought about it and like, I know many people who've been on it with no major side effects. And I asked the guy about it yesterday and he said you have a bigger risk of developing blood clots after giving birth than on the pill. It's super low odds. (I'm pretty sure risk of blood clots goes up when you're overweight? But since the pill is commonly prescribed with PCOS it clearly can't be that much of an issue or most people would be fucked. So yeah. Get with the program, brain.) Huh. I keep saying "people" instead of "women." I'm not trying to be gender neutral on purpose but I am okay with developing this habit subconsciously. Whee. Anyway. I think I'm just stuck on the blood clot thing because when I asked my PCP about birth control years ago she said it wasn't really worth the possible side effects given that I wasn't sexually active. So I probably internalized that and blew it up into something bigger. 

 

I've resigned myself to a doing a fuckton of burpees (slowly, if my shoulder insists on continuing to be a dick) so I'm not really worried about the performance aspect and do just want to have fun. It's more the getting there/getting in/oh man so many opportunities for things to go wrong the world is going to implode!!1!  But yeah. Everything you said is right lol

[fleaball]

I feel like this is going to be me at the Spartan. (A week from today what the fuck?!)

 

[Owlet]

7 minutes ago, fleaball said:

I feel like this is going to be me at the Spartan. (A week from today what the fuck?!)

 

Hehehe so great. I wish I could be there, lying on a couch on the sidelines watching =P

[fleaball]

1 minute ago, Owlet said:

Hehehe so great. I wish I could be there, lying on a couch on the sidelines watching =P

You've got a week to get that sorted. I believe in you.

[Owlet]

On my way!

[Lara]

6 hours ago, fleaball said:

I feel like this is going to be me at the Spartan. (A week from today what the fuck?!)

 

 

That's my favourite cat gif. I love the serene indifference of the other cat.

[Sylvaa]

All the faith!

 

Honestly, once we get there, you will see that the normal heats are very low key. You will see people of all different shapes and sizes and that it's not like the Elite / Competitive heats. I know that doesn't really help with the anxiety now, but once we get going, you will see the chances of dying are super low.  And just think, this is just your baseline - you can always get better (and you won't get worse!). 

 

Re: Blood Clots. They really aren't all that common and there are normally additional risk factors (like, blood clots happen when people have other risk factors involved). Honestly, I probably have a greater chance of developing one, due to the amount of time I am on airplanes and I am not even on BC. And, technically, most people who develop blood clots don't even die. 

[Severine]

I finally caught up with your thread!!! So much has happened I don't even know where to start. But you're exceedingly awesome and it felt really good to sit down and catch up with your life. You've had a lot of crap thrown your way but you've been handling it really well. And with good gifs. And congrats about the internship! It'll be a busy semester, but hopefully busy in that good "I feel like I'm living my life fully" kind of way. And nice job on econ! I'd be annoyed about missing the cutoff too (academic keeners unite) but an A- still starts with an A.

 

Add me to the list of people who took the pill for years (about 8) with no noticeable negative effects. I switched to a non-hormonal (copper) IUD years ago, and while I like it better, the pill was totally fine. And my doctors never worried about blood clots or any other health impacts - I agree with Sylvaa that it's mostly an issue when you have a convergence of a bunch of different conditions. And FWIW my partner L, who has PCOS, was put on the pill to help with a uterine disorder, and the doctors never even mentioned it as an elevated risk factor for anything.

 

Everyone already said all the sensible things about the medication, including you. Listen to the logical parts of your brain and take them if you need them, and then evaluate as you go. I've known many, many people who've used medication as part of a strategy to control either anxiety or depression. Most of them were reluctant at first, too. That's so common because we're all hypocrites at heart and want to hold ourselves to weird restrictions we'd never ever enforce on anyone else. It's important to have a good doctor who's willing to have conversations about dosage and impact and all that, and like any other drug you want to put thought into how and when you take it, but don't let the stigma close out a valuable tool in managing your symptoms. 

 

I'm kind of jealous that you're all doing the Spartan. Ugh, no, definitely full-on jealous. I would love to join for the next one! You're going to crush it, being crushing is sensibly defined as anything that encompasses showing up, having fun with your friends, pushing your limits (safely) and just generally living life and inhabiting your body in an unapologetic and joy-seeking way.

 

Oh, and I started watching Orange Is The New Black last night with my friend (because at this point over a dozen people have told me they think I'd love it, including someone just last week) and they were right and I do. Even though Piper is annoying as hell. I know you watch(ed) it, and in fact I am 99% sure you're one of the people who told me I should. So huzzah, now I'm one of the cool kids and we should non-spoilery talk about it sometime.