XBlackWidowX's battle log

[Jackdaw]

Old, but awesome. So empowering, badass, intriguing!

 

 

[Scaly Freak]

The dance at the end is absolutely amazing. I want that level of athleticism some day.

[Ziraiah]

I love that video! She has the sort of confidence and inner strength I admire. That never gets old. 

[Jackdaw]

7 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

The dance at the end is absolutely amazing.

Yes, I love it so much! So bizarre, but so beautiful! 

 

4 hours ago, Ziraiah said:

I love that video! She has the sort of confidence and inner strength I admire. That never gets old. 

Exactly! And I love that idea of turning your weakness into your strength. I wish she made more videos like this, but the other ones don't have that power. But ok, let's be glad there's at least this one

[Jackdaw]

Saturday was a little anxious, because we had a promotional activity at work where I need to smile  all the time and charm the visitors, then I went out for lunch with someone, which I generally dislike and usually never do. But I think it's ok - I want to stop being anxious when there's no logical reason to feel so, I guess in an uncomfortable situation it is normal. I am not a robot after all. And the positive thing is, I felt less anxious than I normally did in exactly the same situation before. That's a win!

 

I think I am genrally going in a right direction. Initially Rebellion and talking to people online caused me so much stress, but now it became a place where I can relax, and I really like chatting with you, guys. With writing it's been the same. It just proved it  the only way to overcome any inhibitions is to go right through it. "Running away from a problem only increases the distance from a solution," right?

 

 

Sunday was great, it is my rest day. I chatted with my friends, wrote an e-mail to my pen pal, went out for a short walk and watched some documentaries about history. History really interests me, but I know so very little. Hopefully I can find some time for it too. I think I'll also read and play a game later on today.

 

I chatted with my in-laws and my husband's cousin yesterday. It feels so wholesome, they are such nice and warm-hearted people. I am really glad I stick to this part of the challenge and I've found time for that. 

 

Wish you a great and productive next week! And no matter what you're going through right now, I know you'll make it. Stay hard!

 

 

 

 

[Ziraiah]

7 hours ago, XBlackWidowX said:

I think I am genrally going in a right direction. Initially Rebellion and talking to people online caused me so much stress, but now it became a place where I can relax, and I really like chatting with you, guys. With writing it's been the same. It just proved it  the only way to overcome any inhibitions is to go right through it. "Running away from a problem only increases the distance from a solution," right?

 

I love to chat with you too! ?

 

I feel like we have been going through similar stuff lately. I have started to approach multiple things in my life with the same kind of attitude: done is better than none.

 

Starting is usually the hardest part, especially if you are a perfectionist. So setting the bar lower and accepting it's also ok to mess up things every once in a while, makes all the difference. There is way less pressure to start The Thing. So you are definitely on the right track.

 

Great minds think alike, right. ?

[Jackdaw]

15 hours ago, Ziraiah said:

I love to chat with you too! ?

 

I feel like we have been going through similar stuff lately. I have started to approach multiple things in my life with the same kind of attitude: done is better than none.

 

Starting is usually the hardest part, especially if you are a perfectionist. So setting the bar lower and accepting it's also ok to mess up things every once in a while, makes all the difference. There is way less pressure to start The Thing. So you are definitely on the right track.

 

Great minds think alike, right.

Aww thank you! I also feel we really have a connection! Unfortunately, right now we even share a backache lol ^^'

 

For me starting is relatively easy, but it is hard to keep going, especially if something stops me for a while (like a disease, injury, exhaustion etc). But this time I remedied it by setting reminders on my phone every two weeks. I hope it'll help me stay on the track even if I need to have a pause with something. And yeah, being perfectionist does suck. I am still trying to accept it's ok to mess up sometimes.

 

About the great minds, haha, yeah, definitely!

[Ziraiah]

On 2/20/2023 at 12:04 PM, XBlackWidowX said:

Aww thank you! I also feel we really have a connection! Unfortunately, right now we even share a backache lol ^^'

 

Haha, oh yes! Even the backache! ? 

 

I also get excited easily and start bunch of stuff, but perfectionism has often stopped me. I tend to set the bar so high, I just can't meet my expectations. It's hard to unlearn years of bad habits, but one thing at a time. That timer thing sounds very handy. Anything that works, is a good idea. ?

 

Let's kick that perfectionism in the butt together. 

[Jackdaw]

@Ziraiah Do you have any tips how to kick it? Even if I complete all my tasks, I still try to do something more because I am in a hurry to make a progress and I don't want to waste any time.  But it's unhealthy, because no matter how much I do, it never seem to be enough. 

[Jackdaw]

My backache had got better, then it got worse again. It seems like I'll have at least a month break from training. If I am lucky. Last time when I tore something in my arm it lasted four months. And I really dont use some crazy weights, it feels doable while I am working out, just afterwards I turn out broken. Sometimes I think I am not meant for any strenuous sport because I often end up injured. I wanna be like a warrior, but I am more like a porcelain doll ? I worry maybe some day I'll push it too much and I'll end up with an injury that won't heal, like my father did. I am really confused about what to do. 

[Elastigirl]

I'm sorry.That is frustrating. 

 

Have you had your back looked at by a doctor or chiropractor?  Maybe if you have some issues that is causing the problem they can help .

[Jackdaw]

5 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

I'm sorry.That is frustrating. 

 

Have you had your back looked at by a doctor or chiropractor?  Maybe if you have some issues that is causing the problem they can help .

Thank you! I am gonna go to see a doctor this week if it doesn't get better. But I get injuries in some random parts of my body, not just my back, so I guess I am generally so fragile ? I don't know how to overcome that. My husband says I am just too impatient and I push too hard, but I don't feel like I am pushing so much, so I don't know how to feel that boundary.

[Waanie]

I'm sorry about your back! I second that if it doesn't get better on its own quickly to see a doctor or physio.

 

Regarding being fragile: have you tried being really easy on your body? E.g. going back one progression and doing a low number of reps when starting out, and then building from there? That's basically what most beginner programmes do, and it also worked well for me in the past. While I'm not as fragile as you are, I also tend to get injured when going too hard (which is on the upper end of comfortable for me for some type of exercises ). It's hard and frustrating both for myself and my trainers to see that I really should not push when doing "hanging" exercises, but that's life. I rather consistently go "too easy" than  occasionally push myself a few times and getting injured.

 

 

[Jackdaw]

3 hours ago, Waanie said:

I'm sorry about your back! I second that if it doesn't get better on its own quickly to see a doctor or physio.

 

Regarding being fragile: have you tried being really easy on your body? E.g. going back one progression and doing a low number of reps when starting out, and then building from there? That's basically what most beginner programmes do, and it also worked well for me in the past. While I'm not as fragile as you are, I also tend to get injured when going too hard (which is on the upper end of comfortable for me for some type of exercises ). It's hard and frustrating both for myself and my trainers to see that I really should not push when doing "hanging" exercises, but that's life. I rather consistently go "too easy" than  occasionally push myself a few times and getting injured.

 

Thank you!

 

The option "being easy on myself" is not programmed in my system xD I guess that's my main problem lol.

 

But seriously, I think I had started light, 4-5 kg each exercise, my each set is 5 reps and I worked out for about two months.  It wasn't so much weight when I got hurt, 25 kg deadlift did it to me and then I worsened by overhead press 8 kg each hand (ok, this one felt like too much, but 7 felt easy, so I wanted to push some more).

 

Maybe I shouldn't try to increase weight every time? But if I just pump the same weight and it doesn't challenge me I feel like I am losing my time. But probably you're right, going easy is much better than getting hurt. I hope I'll finally get it through that thick skull of mine xD

[Waanie]

I certainly don't increase weight every time, although my deadlift is quite a bit heavier than yours (my overhead press is slightly heavier). How is your form? Are you bracing properly, not only in the big lifts but also in things like overhead press. For overhead press, our trainer sometimes asks us to put some fingers on the lower rib of the working side, and check if it stays down. If it does not stay down, you're lifting too heavy. Whether 4-5 kg is heavy or light really depends on the exercise: for deadlifts it's ridiculously light, while for single leg deadlifts it might be correct when starting out. My overhead presses started off lighter than that, and for adding it to your pull up it is waaaay too heavy for a beginner .

 

Anyway, how are you checking that your form is correct? Do you have a trainer you trust to make corrections, do you film yourself and check that, or anything else?

[Elastigirl]

My other thoughts:  Do you take deload weeks ? Every 4-6 weeks, taking a week and doing either no workouts, or about half your usual work on workouts, to give your body a rest.

Are you eating enough? What is your calorie intake? If you are constantly in a deficit, your body may find it hard to recover.

Are you getting enough protein, and carbs? Maybe try increasing  your macros in one of these areas and see if that helps?

Are you getting enough sleep? Your body needs  ideally 7-8 hours of sleep a night to recover.

Maybe instead of moving the weight up when it get's easier, focus on going super slow. That makes it harder, and also teaches your body to control.

[Jackdaw]

@Waanie First of all thank you for putting so much thought into my situation, it is very kind of you! 

 

I started working out by myself, just watched a bunch of tutorial videos and asked the trainer to show me the exercises. Then as the weight got heavier I decided to have one-on-one training sessions with a trainer once a week, because I felt my form was far from perfect. After our initial conversation (I was already injured at that time, but didn't realize it was so serious, so I haven't started those one-on-one sessions yet) he said my form was quite ok, but my bracing sucked. Probably that's what knocked me out. But I get hurt not just when lifting weights, once it happened while doing a body weight expolosive exercise, once while punching a bag, that's why I am so frustrated. I just hurt myself so easily ?

[Jackdaw]

@Elastigirl Thank you for the tips, Elastigirl, it's so nice of you! 

 

I think my sleeping and eating are pretty good, I sleep 7-8 hours and eat a lot and it is a healthy, balanced diet. I increased protein intake too, but just recently. Probably I should have done it earlier. 

 

I had a break roughly  after the first month but it was because of covid, so I can't really call it a recovery week. I will keep it in mind. 

 

Thank you for the tip about going slow! I will try it when I can work out again! 

[Elastigirl]

4 hours ago, XBlackWidowX said:

I had a break roughly  after the first month but it was because of covid, so I can't really call it a recovery week. I will keep it in mind. 

 

Yeah, I was  counting sick time off as breaks too, but it wasn't. When I took an actual deload I was happily surprised at how much stronger I was coming back

[Jackdaw]

 

2^nd month - completed!

 

 

I can’t believe it!! It’s already been two months! I’ve been so busy, that’s why it passed so quickly. And it’s the first time I sticked to my New Year resolutions ever. Hopefully from a New Year Resolutioner I can finally turn into a real badass.

 

 

 

Anxiety

 

 

 

It’s still not perfect, but it’s better than ever. For most part of the day I am so calm and it’s something that hasn’t happened since I started my adult life.

 

 

 

The Wim Hof Method

 

 

 

Sticked to it every day. 

 

 

  

Training

 

 

 

For the first part of the month it’s been going great; I added weight, I felt strong, I found a trainer. Then I got injured and I can’t train for some time. I went to a doctor yesterday. Fortunately it’s not very serious and in a couple of weeks I can resume my training.

 

 

 

Studying

 

 

 

This one has been going very well. I practised German listening, reading and speaking (Before I always forgot about practising spoken German; now I do it at work when I have a moment for myself) every day, did English vocab every day, worked on my listening more than before. I finished The Last of Us in English and Druck, season 7 in German. I could understand most of it from listening.

 

 

 

Family

 

 

 

I talked with my in-laws and my husband’s cousin, haven’t talked to my uncle and brother yet.

 

 

Cleaning

 

 

 

I don’t want to strain my back, so I just do the bare minimum to keep the apartment relatively clean.

 

 

 

(Optional) Writing

 

 

 

Didn’t write anything new, but did some editing of the stuff I wrote last month.

 

 

 

That's it, guys! I am proud I kept on doing all of this for two months straight. It's been busy, but it does give me lots of satisfaction and I feel I do something meaningful with my time. And I tend to enjoy my free time more on the rest days. 

 

Wish everyone to have a happy and productive next month!

 

[Jackdaw]

So, I've got that idea for a while and I decided to have a mental deload this week - no studying. Yesterday evening I felt quite depressed the weekend was over and I felt like I didn't have enough fun and didn't have time for all the fun things I wanted to do. Besides, I am so busy on the week days, I only have time to chat with my husband to chill out, but not to do anything more. I am not really tired, but I feel like I need to take a breath. And I've been consistent for the last two months, so I guess it's a good time for a break. So... no plan for this week! Just do what you feel like doing.

[Waanie]

On 2/27/2023 at 12:00 AM, XBlackWidowX said:

So, I've got that idea for a while and I decided to have a mental deload this week - no studying. Yesterday evening I felt quite depressed the weekend was over and I felt like I didn't have enough fun and didn't have time for all the fun things I wanted to do. Besides, I am so busy on the week days, I only have time to chat with my husband to chill out, but not to do anything more. I am not really tired, but I feel like I need to take a breath. And I've been consistent for the last two months, so I guess it's a good time for a break. So... no plan for this week! Just do what you feel like doing.

Great plan! Do you also have time off work?  I hope you'll rest well .

 

Also, congrats on being consistent for 2 months!

[Jackdaw]

29 minutes ago, Waanie said:

Do you also have time off work?

Haha, I wish

 

Thank you! I am glad I made it.

[Jackdaw]

I'm thinking about postponing my break because this week has started in such a shitty way I can't really enjoy it. Yesterday I've felt down because my back isn't getting any better and it kind of frustrates me how quickly the time passes, it feels like it's slipping through my fingers. It always makes me think life will pass like this too. 

 

Today three people pissed me off very much and it is really a record, because I am not a quarrelsome person and my environment isn't either. After the second one (the work related situation) I went for a walk and managed to calm myself down and just as I came back home I had a clash with my husband. And we practically never fight. Do you also have such a feeling that sometimes everything goes just great and everything is wonderful and when it goes wrong it's just one punch after another?? Nothing like a cold shower or so they say and it happens to be in my schedule, so that's what I did afterwards and it did help. It's still not my best day, but at least I don't feel like I am drowning in despair. 

 

I took a stroll in my community (could someone confirm whether it's a right word? I mean a closed living area with a bunch of buildings where only the residents can enter) and I decided to share some pics with you. I live in the high building on the second picture. 

 

 

 

...and the day has turned into night

 

 

 

[Eldgee]

Wow, that's a beautiful place to be able to take a walk! And yes, I think community makes sense in that context.