[Everstorm]

Congrats on the weight loss and setting boundaries!

[Radost]

1 hour ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

  I said "no" to doing a favor for my brother because he didnt' give me enough notice. YES THAT IS HUGE.

 

Your aunt sounds like an amazing person and I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you’re doing her the honour of allowing yourself some grief in between supporting your folks and everything else you have going on. 
 

Way to go on your numbers, cholesterol and scale! You are making changes and they have an effect, and that’s freaking awesome!

[Snarkyfishguts]

1 hour ago, Everstorm said:

Congrats on the weight loss and setting boundaries!

Thank you! I'm  excited about the boundaries. I'm gonna build a FORTRESS OF BOUNDARIES. OKay, no. That's overdoing it. But I'm excited all the same   

 

 

1 hour ago, Radost said:

 

Your aunt sounds like an amazing person and I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you’re doing her the honour of allowing yourself some grief in between supporting your folks and everything else you have going on. 
 

Way to go on your numbers, cholesterol and scale! You are making changes and they have an effect, and that’s freaking awesome!

Thank you!

 

My aunt was definitely a character!   She met my friend Jeff once and I went upstairs for two minutes to grab my bags for our trip and left him alone with her. When we we're driving away, he said in this funny high pitched voice "I know so much about your aunt now! You weren't even gone that long! I know about her dead husband where she lives and that she likes rainbows and I know about her current boyfriend and oh my gosh she covered a lot in a couple minutes! How does she DO THAT?"  I said "You're lucky, you might've been her next boyfriend if you weren't careful!" and he just started to laugh. Now I know when he talks in that tone, he's done and I need to take charge. ?

 

 

[Harriet]

On 9/8/2024 at 10:31 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

After a four-month break from any self-improvement goals 

 

Wait, we're allowed to take breaks from self improvement? And just remain... UNIMPROVED? I must ponder this.

 

On 9/17/2024 at 1:22 AM, Snarkyfishguts said:

he and my one Aunt kept talking about how I needed to take care of all of them

 

What kind of care do these adults want? Do they want you to dress them and brush their hair, or...???? Anyway, excellent response. 

 

On 9/19/2024 at 8:40 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

I got my blood work back. My cholesterol numbers have gone down about 20 points but it’s still kinda high. My doctor is happy with my progress; she said it’s not high enough to warrant medication yet and thanked me for taking care of my health. The unspoken thing was “Keep going.”  That’s my purpose right now, to keep going. Sigh. I’m doing this for 86 year old Snarky, so I feel good and active. Yes indeed!

 

Neato, nice job!  Have you ever had a coronary artery calcium score? 

 

18 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

I said "no" to doing a favor for my brother because he didnt' give me enough notice. 

 

I love it! 

[Snarkyfishguts]

2 hours ago, Harriet said:

 

Wait, we're allowed to take breaks from self improvement? And just remain... UNIMPROVED? I must ponder this.

LOL. It’s honestly really nice. Eventually the hyper-critical thoughts went away, and I was able to relax and just appreciate the moment. I’m going to do it again. I highly recommend it.

 

2 hours ago, Harriet said:

 

What kind of care do these adults want? Do they want you to dress them and brush their hair, or...???? Anyway, excellent response. 

Well, my aunt wants me to put on her socks and shoes for her. And drive her to appointments and social events. I help her with the socks and shoes when she’s here unless I’m cooking because ew feet and food- but I can’t drive her everywhere. She has a perfectly capable husband who rolls his eyes and says “you don’t have to do that” 

My visiting Uncle wants me to just take care of him and make sure he eats well and cleans his room. He lives in New Jersey, and he keeps threatening to move back here, but he’s also a hoarder and won’t get rid of anything. Sooooo that’s unlikely.

It’s not even that they ask me to help them, it’s their attitude about it. They treat me like “you don’t have anything else to do, so you may as well make my life easier.” and why would I help someone who dismisses me like that?

BLARG.

2 hours ago, Harriet said:

Neato, nice job!  Have you ever had a coronary artery calcium score? 

Nooooooooooo that sounds fascinating. What is that?

 

2 hours ago, Harriet said:

 

I love it! 

Thanks!!

[Harriet]

2 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

LOL. It’s honestly really nice. Eventually the hyper-critical thoughts went away, and I was able to relax and just appreciate the moment. I’m going to do it again. I highly recommend it.

 

Hmmm that sounds promising. 

 

2 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

Well, my aunt wants me to put on her socks and shoes for her. And drive her to appointments and social events. I help her with the socks and shoes when she’s here unless I’m cooking because ew feet and food- but I can’t drive her everywhere. She has a perfectly capable husband who rolls his eyes and says “you don’t have to do that” 

My visiting Uncle wants me to just take care of him and make sure he eats well and cleans his room. He lives in New Jersey, and he keeps threatening to move back here, but he’s also a hoarder and won’t get rid of anything. Sooooo that’s unlikely.

 

It’s not even that they ask me to help them, it’s their attitude about it. They treat me like “you don’t have anything else to do, so you may as well make my life easier.” and why would I help someone who dismisses me like that?

 

Why indeed.

 

2 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

Nooooooooooo that sounds fascinating. What is that?

 

It's a CT scan of the arteries to visualise actual calcification. It's a picture of the actual disease process instead of just an imperfect proxy marker, which LDL is. Many people who have heart attacks have normal LDL. On the other hand, there are arguably some high LDL profiles that are safe. A CAC can either show you that you're safe for now, which can be a huge relief (for example, my brother with type 1 diabetes and my husband with a family history of very early heart disease and attack) both just got a zero score, which is wonderful since I know they're both pretty much safe at least for the next several years. On the other hand, a couple of quite fit family members have really high scores, so a more aggressive statin treatment might be justified despite the fact that they're thin and active. 

[Snarkyfishguts]

3 hours ago, Harriet said:

 

Why indeed.

thank you!

3 hours ago, Harriet said:

 

It's a CT scan of the arteries to visualise actual calcification. It's a picture of the actual disease process instead of just an imperfect proxy marker, which LDL is. Many people who have heart attacks have normal LDL. On the other hand, there are arguably some high LDL profiles that are safe. A CAC can either show you that you're safe for now, which can be a huge relief (for example, my brother with type 1 diabetes and my husband with a family history of very early heart disease and attack) both just got a zero score, which is wonderful since I know they're both pretty much safe at least for the next several years. On the other hand, a couple of quite fit family members have really high scores, so a more aggressive statin treatment might be justified despite the fact that they're thin and active. 

That is fascinating!! Thanks for telling me about it! I may ask my doctor about it next year!

[Snarkyfishguts]

 

I need a break from my family and this house. So I'm going to plan a night out this week by myself and go out into the world and do...something.   Last week was an unusual week in terms of how much work I had to do in the house, and taking care of my folks and Bert.  So I'm definitely going to plan a night out. This is the solution!

 

Edit: Deleted smelly rant. I dunno. I give up. Pass the chocolate.

 

[Shello]

On 9/19/2024 at 1:40 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

I’m doing this for 86 year old Snarky, so I feel good and active. Yes indeed!

86 year old Snarky will thank you for your service. 

 

On 9/21/2024 at 10:23 AM, Snarkyfishguts said:

No perfect weeks: Amen. This week was messy, and full of personal growth opportunities. I learned a lot from this week. 

Love this!

 

I hope you find something amazing to do this week.  

[Snarkyfishguts]

3 hours ago, Shello said:

86 year old Snarky will thank you for your service. 

She better! I'm tired  

3 hours ago, Shello said:

Love this!

 

I hope you find something amazing to do this week.  

Thanks! I'm not sure what it will be, but I just need to not be in this house. Even just sitting in a coffee shop with a good book would feel really amazing at this point! <4

[Snarkyfishguts]

I learned that you can set a task in the Finch app for multiple times a day.  So I've added another set to my daily exercises. One set in the morning, one in the afternoon. Right now it's just doing squats, holding a plank, and then crunches. My hand has recovered nicely, so I'm going to add a short set of weights too. 

That feels like a good step. 

 

Mom made molasses crinkles and I ate 4 of them. I have no regrets. 

[Snarkyfishguts]

Today I meditated because @Sovalis said so.  Thanks Sov, this is going into my daily practice again. I feel...better. ?

 

I did my Finch exercises today, and adding more to my workout is going to work really well. I got a lot chores done today, and yeah. I'm really tired. 

 

I've been reading The Throne of Glass series by Sarah J. Maas, and I finished the 4th book and I've decided I really don't like this series. I don't like any of the characters, and it's just kinda miserable and making me feel miserable. It would benefit greatly with the inclusion of a talking cat. I'm not finishing the series. I need more books like Wizards Guide to Defensive Baking or Starter Villain. 

 

Any suggestions?

[Everstorm]

The Wizard's Butler had cozy vibes like Defensive Baking did.

[Snarkyfishguts]

10 hours ago, Everstorm said:

The Wizard's Butler had cozy vibes like Defensive Baking did.

I will check it out! Thank you!

[Snarkyfishguts]

I'm waking up earlier and earlier and I know that is my brain saying "We need some "me" time!" and so instead of resting and sleeping, I'm awake and getting things done so the rest of the day is mentally easier. Sleep deprivation is not a long-term solution though. What I've realized though in my early morning tasks is that I'm turning my joy into work. I started playing instruments because I love it and feel better when I do, so I would say "I'm going to make time to play the ukulele because i'm stressed and I like it." and that twisted into "I'M GOING TO PLAY THE UKULELE EVERY DAY FOR 20 MINUTES AND BE AMAZING AT IT" and my joyful hobby turned into a to-do list item with my cleaning schedule. I once had a therapist who said

 

"You turn everything into work. You need to relax. Not everything has to be work." 

I nodded "You're absolutely right. I need to relax. I'm gonna work on that."

"NO! DON'T WORK ON IT. JUST RELAX!"  

 

I think about that moment often.  It's been 15 years, and I'm still "working" on it.  It makes me laugh every time I think of it and reminds me how important it is.  I'm going to make some adjustments:

 

I'm not going to log my food for the rest of the week, and see how I feel about it. I am grateful for the app, and I've learned a lot in 4 weeks, and my diet is so much better. But I'm ready to take the training wheels off and go on my own. I've been rebelling by eating more chocolate and not logging it, and I'm not happy with myself and I realized I don't need to get harder on myself, I need to trust myself that I'm ready for the next step. The app is there if I need it, but I'm excited to move forward without it.

 

My task for the rest of the week is to make a to-do list, and create a  flexible schedule based on that to-do list, so I can sleep in until 6am without worrying about what I'm getting done. It's fall now, and that means a lot of house and yard work, so I need a LIST so my brain can relax. My hobbies that are fun and joyful are not going on the list but I will make time to do them if I wish to.  

[Shello]

7 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

It's fall now, and that means a lot of house and yard work, so I need a LIST so my brain can relax. My hobbies that are fun and joyful are not going on the list but I will make time to do them if I wish to.

Got it.  Work is work and gets on a list.  Fun is fun and is NOT on a list!  I like this

[Laghail]

22 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

I've been reading The Throne of Glass series by Sarah J. Maas, and I finished the 4th book and I've decided I really don't like this series. I don't like any of the characters, and it's just kinda miserable and making me feel miserable. It would benefit greatly with the inclusion of a talking cat. I'm not finishing the series. I need more books like Wizards Guide to Defensive Baking or Starter Villain. 

 

Honestly, don't most books need a talking cat?? It was the best of times, the worst of times, - a talking cat would have interrupted all that drama.

 

22 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

Any suggestions?

 

[Snarkyfishguts]

3 hours ago, Shello said:

Got it.  Work is work and gets on a list.  Fun is fun and is NOT on a list!  I like this

thanks! ?

2 hours ago, Laghail said:

 

Honestly, don't most books need a talking cat?? It was the best of times, the worst of times, - a talking cat would have interrupted all that drama.

 

 

 

thank you! Legends and Lattes is definitely fun! i’ll check out the other two! 

[Snarkyfishguts]

I'm getting my break tomorrow... I think. Mom and I are going to go shopping for some clothes and then go out to lunch, We're going to go through her closet tonight and make a list of what we're looking for so she doesn't get overwhelmed and discouraged in the store tomorrow. I've already made my list so I don't get overwhelmed and discouraged tomorrow   We agreed no chores tomorrow. Just fun.

 

 

My buddy Shrek loves werewolf and wolfman books, but is having trouble finding a good one.  It doesn't matter the age group, He's 56 but he's liked middle grade and young adult, but he's NOT interested in wolf porn, which is what a lot of the books he's found on his own are. He'll just say "I DON'T WANT TO READ THAT!"  He just wants something interesting, maybe spooky, and wolfie.  He really liked Jackaby by William Ritter, and is a fan of Jonathan Stroud, All the Tarzan books too..  If you like wolfie books that are not pornographic, please share your recommendations!

 

Speaking of books, I did pick up The Wizards Butler and Cursed Cocktails! Thanks for the recommendations @Everstorm and @Laghail  I'm looking forward to reading them this weekend.

[Everstorm]

1 hour ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

He's 56 but he's liked middle grade and young adult, but he's NOT interested in wolf porn, which is what a lot of the books he's found on his own are. He'll just say "I DON'T WANT TO READ THAT!" 

 

I find this an issue with a lot of fantasy, actually.   While I don't mind a bit of spice, I want spice in my fantasy novel, not fantasy in a porn novel.  Plot is everything.

[Laghail]

3 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

My buddy Shrek loves werewolf and wolfman books, but is having trouble finding a good one.  It doesn't matter the age group, He's 56 but he's liked middle grade and young adult, but he's NOT interested in wolf porn, which is what a lot of the books he's found on his own are. He'll just say "I DON'T WANT TO READ THAT!"  He just wants something interesting, maybe spooky, and wolfie.  He really liked Jackaby by William Ritter, and is a fan of Jonathan Stroud, All the Tarzan books too..  If you like wolfie books that are not pornographic, please share your recommendations!

 

?Werewolf, not horny

 

?Not werewolf, but adventure and not horny.

 

?Wolves, not horny, no outright werewolves

 

?Giant bears, not horny (there is a sex scene but it's awks, not sexy, no animals involved), spooky, author has shitty politics 

 

3 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

Speaking of books, I did pick up The Wizards Butler and Cursed Cocktails! Thanks for the recommendations @Everstorm and @Laghail  I'm looking forward to reading them this weekend.

 

I hope you like it but you're still hearted in my book, even if you don't. 

[Radost]

On 9/25/2024 at 4:15 AM, Snarkyfishguts said:

my joyful hobby turned into a to-do list item with my cleaning schedule

Way to go for noticing this and responding! Hope balancing less tracking with maintaining a list to keep your brain quiet goes well. 

[Elastigirl]

On 9/25/2024 at 4:15 AM, Snarkyfishguts said:

leeping, I'm awake and getting things done so the rest of the day is mentally easier. Sleep deprivation is not a long-term solution though. What I've realized though in my early morning tasks is that I'm turning my joy into work. I started playing instruments because I love it and feel better when I do, so I would say "I'm going to make time to play the ukulele because i'm stressed and I like it." and that twisted into "I'M GOING TO PLAY THE UKULELE EVERY DAY FOR 20 MINUTES AND BE AMAZING AT IT" and my joyful hobby turned into a to-do list item with my cleaning schedule. I once had a therapist who said

 

"You turn everything into work. You need to relax. Not everything has to be work." 

I nodded "You're absolutely right. I need to relax. I'm gonna work on that."

"NO! DON'T WORK ON IT. JUST RELAX!"  

 

This is so me.?

[TimovieMan]

10 hours ago, Laghail said:

author has shitty politics 

^This. Which is maddening, because otherwise he's an exceptional writer... ?

[Laghail]

5 hours ago, TimovieMan said:

^This. Which is maddening, because otherwise he's an exceptional writer... ?

Sigh. Agree. Even his sorta protegee Brando Sando compares poorly with Card, the former more of a technician to Card's gorgeous artistry of the human spirit. Including Card torturing his worldview to a shape barely acceptable to LDS religious doctrine, but still fairly shitty with queers. I sorta think of him as our talented and closeted queer uncle in the rainbow family.