49er Posted October 16, 2013 Report Share Posted October 16, 2013 Harry's Grampa says jokingly to his grandma: "Why are you always so mean to me?Harry interupts: "She's not mean... all the time."Grampa and Gramma laugh themselves sick :-) Quote Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted October 16, 2013 Report Share Posted October 16, 2013 I walked in to the house and heard this from the kitchen: "It tastes just like a monkey." 1 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Thrillho Posted October 17, 2013 Report Share Posted October 17, 2013 "Yay, I have a uterus and no sperm!"We went to the library. My youngest took out a "Where Babies Come From" book. It's extremely educational. 1 Quote The cancer was aggressive, but the chemotherapy was aggressive, as well. There was aggression on both sides. Link to comment
JuiceeTarget Posted November 1, 2013 Report Share Posted November 1, 2013 When my now 13 yo boy was 10:Him: "Dad, pick a number between 1 and 10"Me: "Ï€"Him: "Dangit!" My now 10 yo daughter when she was about 6:"I don't believe in Santa Claus or Darth Vader" Quote Half Ogre Ranger Devourer of Pastries Link to comment
Thrillho Posted November 1, 2013 Report Share Posted November 1, 2013 My daughters were plastered to the oldest's window last night, watching the fireworks. I was trying to talk to my youngest, a quirky 5 year old. Me: "Ok, Phee, come on, it's time to get ready for bed."Her: "..."Me: "I've got your pyjamas right here."Her: "..."Me: "Do you want help putting them on?"Her: "Kinda busy here, dad! Go bug mom."Me: "..." 4 Quote The cancer was aggressive, but the chemotherapy was aggressive, as well. There was aggression on both sides. Link to comment
WeldingMommy Posted December 6, 2013 Report Share Posted December 6, 2013 2YO: want that! *points in random direction in the pantryMe: This? *points at prepackaged brownies (just beginning Paleo journey)2YO: NoMe: This? *points at jello cups2YO: NoMe: This? *Points at green apple on table2YO: No....oh ok yea that PWEASE! Just now: Me: Gabe, stop touching the treeGabe proceeds to knock entire tree down and high tailing it out the room laughing like the cookie monster Quote Link to comment
Rpage1977 Posted July 27, 2014 Report Share Posted July 27, 2014 My youngest, while in k5, got in trouble for saying "Damn It" on the playground,(we have always put our kids in a private Baptist academy), a few weeks later, we were in the car and the subject changed to how we use our words to either help or hurt others. We gave the youngest permission to tell his older brother a word you shouldn't say.YOUNGEST: "You shouldn't say damn it."ME: Very goodYOUNGEST: (whispered to brother) "And you shouldn't say sh*t either."I almost wrecked the car, I was laughing so hard. My wife spit her iced coffee all over the dashboard. 3 Quote Lv 2 Human AssassinStr:4Dex:3Sta:2Con:1Wis:2Cha:0Motto: "Don't give up yet...You've still got a couple of M*therf*ckers to prove wrong!"Previous Challenge:Challenge 1: Ryan's Quest for Inner Peace Website: Fat-Man to Batman Link to comment
Rpage1977 Posted July 27, 2014 Report Share Posted July 27, 2014 [quote name="GoodDoug" post="760145" timestamp="My now 10 yo daughter when she was about 6:"I don't believe in Santa Claus or Darth Vader"How can you not believe in Vader! Quote Lv 2 Human AssassinStr:4Dex:3Sta:2Con:1Wis:2Cha:0Motto: "Don't give up yet...You've still got a couple of M*therf*ckers to prove wrong!"Previous Challenge:Challenge 1: Ryan's Quest for Inner Peace Website: Fat-Man to Batman Link to comment
Gainsdalf the Whey Posted August 5, 2014 Report Share Posted August 5, 2014 I'm subbing this thread for when I can contribute in a few years. 1 Quote Massrandir, Barkûn, Swolórin, The Whey Pilgrim 500 / 330 / 625 Challenges: 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 31 32 34 35 36 39 41 42 45 46 47 48 49 Current Challenge "No citizen has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a disgrace it is for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable. " ~ Socrates "Friends don't let friends squat high." ~ Chad Wesley Smith "It's a dangerous business, Brodo, squatting to the floor. You step into the rack, and if you don't keep your form, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ Gainsdalf Link to comment
HandbellChick Posted September 23, 2014 Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 17-year-old daughter's Homework: "Name another famous labyrinth"17-year-old daughter's Answer: "The one surrounding the goblin city where David Bowie lives"I like her style! 1 Quote Music is the strongest form of magic- Marilyn Manson Link to comment
Thrillho Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 "Yes, for the last time, send ALL the meatballs to China! The meatballs are highly explosive, and we're trying to BLOW UP CHINA! How difficult is this for you?!?!" My middle girl has this weird private storyline whenever she gets ahold of something that she can pretend is a cel phone. In this story, she is the president of the largest corporation in the world, and they make everything from babies to meatballs to video games... but they ALL EXPLODE! And all she's trying to do is blow up every other country that's competing with her. And firing her assistants. And then blowing up her assistants. She's 8. 2 Quote The cancer was aggressive, but the chemotherapy was aggressive, as well. There was aggression on both sides. Link to comment
Edigo Posted October 29, 2014 Report Share Posted October 29, 2014 This is the best thread! In the bath with my 4,5 yr old son. He pours water on my belly button (im pregnant)Son: im giving my little brother a bath. Eating fruit loops cereal: mom poop loops taste really good, can i eat this every morning?Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2 Quote Level 7 Yogini green witch STR 3 - DEX 3 - STA 10 - CON 12 - WIS 13 - CHA 6 Previous challenges : 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6|| 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 Current challenge : august 2020 Mantra : I am calm, I am love Link to comment
LadyGrey Posted January 8, 2015 Report Share Posted January 8, 2015 My house is always full of funny conversations! My husband has a gift for making me laugh, and my son is slowly picking up on his traits. Our dinner conversations are always the best. But one of the funniest things I heard out of my husband was at the self-checkout kiosk at Walmart:Self-Checkout Kiosk at Wal-Mart: "Please take your change."My husband in a stern and audible tone: "Don't tell me how to live my life." And one excuse my then 7 year old said to me when I was trying to wake him up for school:"I can't get up, my head is stuck under the pillow!" 1 Quote Rising Heroes Faction: HAVIK Fitbit | Art Page | Instagram Link to comment
tmac Posted January 26, 2015 Report Share Posted January 26, 2015 Last night, said by me: "Kids! KIDS! What did I JUST say?!? No light sabers in the car! Sheesh!" This morning, said by my youngest, who has a cold: "I feel like a bag of toilets." 2 Quote Level 2 -- DruidSTR 1 | STA 2 | DEX 3 | CON 4 | WIS 0 | CHA 0 Main Quest: Lose 70 lbs in 2015. 15 down, 55 to go. Challenge 2 (Druid)Challenge 1 (Recruit) Link to comment
Thrillho Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 "I CAN'T STOP FARTING!!! DAD, WHAT IF THIS IS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?!?!" 2 Quote The cancer was aggressive, but the chemotherapy was aggressive, as well. There was aggression on both sides. Link to comment
Toxophilite Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 *listening to Queen - Don't Stop Me Now* Wife: Is the speed of light 200°F? 2 Quote "To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and, whatever you hit, call it the target." Link to comment
Thrillho Posted February 2, 2015 Report Share Posted February 2, 2015 "Hey dad. Had Health and Career presentations today. Can I get my short term memory wiped please?" 2 Quote The cancer was aggressive, but the chemotherapy was aggressive, as well. There was aggression on both sides. Link to comment
emyerson Posted February 6, 2015 Report Share Posted February 6, 2015 7: "Can I try your coffee?"Me : "Sure buddy. Small sip. "Sip... Eyes go wide, spits it back into the cup.7: "It tastes like peanuts, milk, and throw up!" 1 Quote Archer | Fencer | Painter | DMA call to adventure...Level 3 Ranger - Current Challenge [2] [1]STR: 7 | DEX: 8 | STA: 7 | CON: 10 | WIS: 2 | CHA: 3 Link to comment
Gainsdalf the Whey Posted February 6, 2015 Report Share Posted February 6, 2015 7: "Can I try your coffee?"Me : "Sure buddy. Small sip. "Sip... Eyes go wide, spits it back into the cup.7: "It tastes like peanuts, milk, and throw up!""Yeah, it does now that you spit in it..." 3 Quote Massrandir, Barkûn, Swolórin, The Whey Pilgrim 500 / 330 / 625 Challenges: 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 31 32 34 35 36 39 41 42 45 46 47 48 49 Current Challenge "No citizen has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a disgrace it is for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable. " ~ Socrates "Friends don't let friends squat high." ~ Chad Wesley Smith "It's a dangerous business, Brodo, squatting to the floor. You step into the rack, and if you don't keep your form, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ Gainsdalf Link to comment
LadyGrey Posted February 7, 2015 Report Share Posted February 7, 2015 Kiddo: "Mom! Get off the ice!"Me: "I told you, I'm clean now." I have a herniated disc and I have to ice it for 30 minutes, 3 times a day and usually my kiddo helps me keep track of the time. That was how the conversation went last night when I had already pulled the ice pack off and he announced my time was up 10 minutes late. 1 Quote Rising Heroes Faction: HAVIK Fitbit | Art Page | Instagram Link to comment
alienjenn Posted February 8, 2015 Report Share Posted February 8, 2015 Zombie was playing checkers with Ezra (the dog). ... he says she's not very good I got home and Zombie said "oh hey I made you an Apple smoothie ... but I drank it" one morning I woke up and looked over at Zombie who was laying on the couch... he says to me "morning" I said "yup" he says "mom the proper response to 'morning' is 'morning'" I said "ok" he goes "morning" I said "morning he goes "morning" I said "morning he goes "morning" I said "morning" he goes "morning" I said "morning" he says "ok I think you got it I am going back to sleep now" rolls over and snores 2 Quote Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting "doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom facebook battle log level 50 WOOT Backstory CNF2014 current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time) Spoiler * This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda * There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. * level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom * I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ... - I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move Link to comment
IslandGirl_Becks Posted February 9, 2015 Report Share Posted February 9, 2015 My sister is a 1st grade teacher... she comes home with the best: My favorite first grade quote of the day (upon returning from the office): "Ms. F-, I don't know why that bad thing is back inside me. That thing that tells me to do bad things. He got in there again." Quote We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. -Aristotle Arian, arian, zehetzen da burnia. -Basque proverb Frisian Shieldmaiden level 12 (STR:16) (DEX:16) (STA:23) (CON:22) (WIS:17) (CHA:15) Challenges: 11/12.14 - 1/2.15 - 2/3.15 - 15.4/5 - 15.6/7 - 15.7/9 - 16.1 - 16.3 - 16.4 - 16.5 - 16.10 - 16.11 - 16.12 - 17.1 - 17.2 2017 Goals: Maintain BW BS, 100kg DL - Muscle Up - 1/2 Marathon Condition - Abs Link to comment
tmac Posted February 9, 2015 Report Share Posted February 9, 2015 That one reminds me of my son's first day of kindergarten. He said, "I wanted to ask him what his name was, but it came out, 'Talk to my butt.'" 1 Quote Level 2 -- DruidSTR 1 | STA 2 | DEX 3 | CON 4 | WIS 0 | CHA 0 Main Quest: Lose 70 lbs in 2015. 15 down, 55 to go. Challenge 2 (Druid)Challenge 1 (Recruit) Link to comment
Daithi Posted February 10, 2015 Report Share Posted February 10, 2015 My wife often calls me a sissy because when I get the flu, it's the plagued man flu. Yesterday I had a viral bug I cought off my 11 month old. The child sat there looked at me and went 'Dada sissy" and began to laugh.Another day I sat and whispered to her day momma is a d*ck my wife came in and right in cue my child said 'dada diok' wasn't the word exactly but her laugh leads me to believe what was intended Quote I'm the Guy who lifts stuff. Bodyfat: 14% Weight: 74 Kilos ORM Bench press : 58 Kilos ORM Deadlift : 115 kilos ORM Squat : 75 kilos Link to comment
Alex85 Posted February 25, 2015 Report Share Posted February 25, 2015 Son: "What's zero plus zero plus zero plus zero?"Me: "Zero."Son: "Wrong! It's CHICKEN RINGS!"(That's my boy. Weird as snake shoes, but sweet as a stolen kiss.)Lol. Quote Link to comment
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