Osu

[Urgan]

3 hours ago, Kishi said:

I dunno if y'all remember, but I mentioned that I was wanting to get back into Wim Hoff and see if his breathing method did anything for me here. Turns out, I've become a lot harder to choke than I used to be. You can still get me with airway chokes now, but blood chokes take a lot longer and a lot more effort to nail me with. I suspect my brain's just got used to going without fresh oxygen for a while, and blood chokes just feel like pressure to me now rather than something acutely dangerous.

 

Is it the breath training or the soul-crushing weight of work?? Inquiring minds learn not to show too much initiative. 

 

3 hours ago, Kishi said:

Also, it seems our program is going to affiliate with a local Professor rather than the one my Coach came up under, as Coach has been passed up for promotion despite being more skillful than the Professor's other students. I can respect that. And apparently the Professor he's trying to get with is one of the better grapplers in the country, which is cool.

 

Ouch that has to sting a bit. Well then. 

 

 

Better to find out now before making those overtures.

[Treva]

Okay so I have been out of the loop for WAY TOO LONG so here’s the reactions for the last five pages or something of your blog

 

1)      Planks are garbage please explain?

2)      Urgan is right TGUs are way better for core, like dude.  That is all core.  Had a competitive weight lifter friend try them and he was like “this is the worst thing ever I WANT TO DIE I HAVE NO CORE” and I’m like buahaha yes, the TGU is the equalizer.  This was a story intended to validate your training. 

3)      Re: the incident regarding humans in Maine and the dramatis personae: I feel you on the “wow ya’ll were together, worried about me, and no one reached out to speak to me?”  I think there is a lot of danger in group think where within one group, individuals may contemplate action but be afraid to initiate action.  I’m sure there’s a social science principle in there.  It also sounds like from that post your withdrawal was a form of self protection, and I am Here To Validate The Heck Out Of That.  Protect yourself from dangers to your psyche.  Always. 

4)      Re Forehead kisses: My dude.  Thou art fine.  She has had thineself over to hither yon abode and it has All Been Well to Thine Knowledge.  My dude.  You are gentle beast.  Anyone who is afraid of you is, well, okay so they’re probably fighting you, but outside of the ring I have a hard time believing you cut in any way a frightening or creepy picture.  As somebody who’s had to report and cope with things in the realm of Me Too, what you are describing, at least for me, does not feel concerning.  I was not there, I cannot apply additional comments, but for me it is all fine.  Analoggirl also made a really excellent point that Me Too applies to men as much as women, and I’m just throwin the shout out for women not being creepy to dudes.

5)      BJJ As Deadly Cuddletime/Combat Cuddles is my new favorite thing now.  I’m going to hug it and it will be my squishie and it will slowly…slowly asphyxiate.

6)      Re: girl from back in august that you decided to be friends with—I am glad you made that decision.  You should be with someone you’re excited to get to know, and someone who is excited to know you.  You’re a great person, who has a lot of interesting things in his life to share with somebody.

I admit I’ve reread your blog twice and I’m trying to get a sense of how you met the lady you are currently seeing (I’m a sucker for timelines and I felt a little overwhelmed with everything I missed!).  Is this the same one you decided to be friends with?

 

I am also a huge fan of the digression about relationship advice, and to me it is helpful and I am archiving the hell out of it for Presumed Later Use.

Looking forward to reading more about your dojo teacher adjustments?  And hearing more about your life.

[Jupiter]

On 10/16/2019 at 8:01 AM, Kishi said:

I will! So far, my biggest obstacle is a discipline problem. Really not giving myself the BIC time I need to make this work.

 

That definitely can be a problem. Maybe if you set aside 10 minutes every day for writing and then work your way up as your schedule allows? 

[Kishi]

On ‎10‎/‎25‎/‎2019 at 5:17 PM, Urgan said:

Is it the breath training or the soul-crushing weight of work?? Inquiring minds learn not to show too much initiative. 

 

It's definitely the breath training. I had the job while grappling before and the only thing that's changed is how I breathe.

 

On ‎10‎/‎25‎/‎2019 at 5:17 PM, Urgan said:

Ouch that has to sting a bit. Well then. 

 

 

Better to find out now before making those overtures.

 

Yeah. I feel bad for my Coach on that count, but given the practical aspects of his situation I don't know what else can be done. It's not like he's living in Paraguay now and can just bounce down whenever he likes, and doubly so now since he's traveling so much. Apparently, however, it's very poor form to jump to another affiliate like he's doing now. I suppose it remains to be seen how this all shakes out.

 

On ‎10‎/‎26‎/‎2019 at 9:38 PM, Treva said:

Okay so I have been out of the loop for WAY TOO LONG so here’s the reactions for the last five pages or something of your blog

 

I mean, you're a doctor. You're freaking busy. Also, @Tanktimus the Encourager, is there any way we could see about changing her title to "Monk M.D."? It suits.

 

But seriously, thanks for stopping by. I owe you the same. Hope you've been well.

 

On ‎10‎/‎26‎/‎2019 at 9:38 PM, Treva said:

1)      Planks are garbage please explain?

 

Planks aren't necessarily garbage but they're a little overprescribed in training regimens in general. They're wonderful for core stability especially for beginner athletes, but it hits a point of diminishing returns relatively quickly, and if the athlete is consistent in their practice, they're eventually going to need to find other things to do.

 

One of the things that they are apparently overprescribed for is postural correction, and this is Not Ideal. The plank in general is good for core stability, but it also works a lot of the anterior chain which, over time, can negatively impact posture. As the muscles get tighter, they develop a resting tonus that draws the shoulders and the spine into forward flexion. This does not good posture make. Cavalere proposes a sort of "reverse" plank where you support yourself using the posterior chain to counteract this. There are some variants of this in calisthenics where it's referred to as a "straight bridge," to give you an idea of the thing.

 

BTW, if this seems like it's a bad take, please by all means push back on me. The last thing I want to do is lecture someone in the field who knows more about this kind of thing than me (although as @WhiteGhost can point out, I seem to have a knack for that kind of thing. :D).

 

On ‎10‎/‎26‎/‎2019 at 9:38 PM, Treva said:

2)      Urgan is right TGUs are way better for core, like dude.  That is all core.  Had a competitive weight lifter friend try them and he was like “this is the worst thing ever I WANT TO DIE I HAVE NO CORE” and I’m like buahaha yes, the TGU is the equalizer.  This was a story intended to validate your training.

 

Cool story yes please validate me

 

On ‎10‎/‎26‎/‎2019 at 9:38 PM, Treva said:

3)      Re: the incident regarding humans in Maine and the dramatis personae: I feel you on the “wow ya’ll were together, worried about me, and no one reached out to speak to me?”  I think there is a lot of danger in group think where within one group, individuals may contemplate action but be afraid to initiate action.  I’m sure there’s a social science principle in there.  It also sounds like from that post your withdrawal was a form of self protection, and I am Here To Validate The Heck Out Of That.  Protect yourself from dangers to your psyche.  Always.

 

There is a social science principle, yes; it's called the "Diffusion of Responsibility." Per Wikipedia, "Considered a form of attribution, the individual assumes that others either are responsible for taking action or have already done so."

 

But yeah, you know what. Given how much better my life feels and how much better I feel? I gotta admit, maybe there was something in me saying I needed to protect myself. Thanks for validating that.

 

On ‎10‎/‎26‎/‎2019 at 9:38 PM, Treva said:

4)      Re Forehead kisses: My dude.  Thou art fine.  She has had thineself over to hither yon abode and it has All Been Well to Thine Knowledge.  My dude.  You are gentle beast.  Anyone who is afraid of you is, well, okay so they’re probably fighting you, but outside of the ring I have a hard time believing you cut in any way a frightening or creepy picture.  As somebody who’s had to report and cope with things in the realm of Me Too, what you are describing, at least for me, does not feel concerning.  I was not there, I cannot apply additional comments, but for me it is all fine.  Analoggirl also made a really excellent point that Me Too applies to men as much as women, and I’m just throwin the shout out for women not being creepy to dudes.

 

Thanks for that validation too. At least as far as that whole thing was concerned, it was a pretty bold thing for me to do at that time. I wasn't sure how to view it through the lens that I have now, and I'm really glad a bunch of ladyfolk have taken the time to say I probably didn't cross a line somewhere.

 

On ‎10‎/‎26‎/‎2019 at 9:38 PM, Treva said:

5)      BJJ As Deadly Cuddletime/Combat Cuddles is my new favorite thing now.  I’m going to hug it and it will be my squishie and it will slowly…slowly asphyxiate.

 

I'm a big believer in the idea that most people just need a hug. Some people just need in different places than others.

 

On ‎10‎/‎26‎/‎2019 at 9:38 PM, Treva said:

6)      Re: girl from back in august that you decided to be friends with—I am glad you made that decision.  You should be with someone you’re excited to get to know, and someone who is excited to know you.  You’re a great person, who has a lot of interesting things in his life to share with somebody.

 

Thanks for that. And yeah, that wound up being good in a lot of ways that I didn't really expect, in that it showed me that I could still be me, you know?

 

On ‎10‎/‎26‎/‎2019 at 9:38 PM, Treva said:

I admit I’ve reread your blog twice and I’m trying to get a sense of how you met the lady you are currently seeing (I’m a sucker for timelines and I felt a little overwhelmed with everything I missed!).  Is this the same one you decided to be friends with?

 

I might not have mentioned it! This is not the same woman I decided to be friends with. This is a different woman. I met her some time ago; I'm not actually clear when? I was out with some friends of mine doing a night of drinking and partying to celebrate... something. I thought it was for a friend's birthday? Anyway, I met this girl at that time, and we hit it off really well. Had a strong sense of connection with one another and everything. And then we proceeded not to talk to each other for a while. I say it was a year, everyone else around me says it was 6 months. I mean, okay?

 

But either way, we fell out of touch and then just recently found ourselves back in touch when she was staying over at the Scifi Buddy's house (as she's between places right now while her new house is built). And we both felt we shouldn't let that happen again. So we've gone on a few dates and things are going well.

 

On ‎10‎/‎26‎/‎2019 at 9:38 PM, Treva said:

Looking forward to reading more about your dojo teacher adjustments?  And hearing more about your life.

 

Happy to oblige! Never a dull moment.

 

On ‎10‎/‎26‎/‎2019 at 11:02 PM, Jupiter said:

 

That definitely can be a problem. Maybe if you set aside 10 minutes every day for writing and then work your way up as your schedule allows? 

 

That's definitely not a bad idea.

 

*

 

Hoookay, let's catch this all up.

 

Open mat happened. No drinking, but didn't feel like strength training after. Just wanted to rest, so I did.

 

Saturday we had D&D with the fam. Made a grave error in tactics and we wound up TPKing. Me and Dad's characters made it back. Mom's didn't. She wasn't upset by it, but I was because I felt responsible for missing the sign that we were supposed to run away from the encounter what did it to us.

 

It's weird. He's told me before about players missing things and they seem so obvious on the outside, but on the inside it's kind of hard to see. Felt bad for that. Was definitely salty about it to my brother, although I did apologize to him for it later.

 

After that, I got home in time to take off to go to a party being hosted by the new friends. I used it as an excuse to reconnect with another friend of mine, and it wound up being a good time. Notable for a light fixture giving way and blowing the circuit breaker, which was damned appropriate for a Halloween party.

 

And after all that, then I set about doing my strength training. That worked out well. This spread works out even better than the other, actually; I felt better-rested and just... better all around.

 

Sunday, went to class and rolled. Tapped everyone again, but Coach wants me to work on getting my base back under me again in scramble as opposed to just lying about and being lazy. My grip work is coming along really well, though, so there's that.

 

Monday would have been another gaming day, but the Lady wanted to get together again before I took off for Maine, and Monday was the only day I could see to making work, so I carved out some time and took her to a speakeasy. We got lost in conversation again and wound up shutting the place down, which is the 3rd time that's happened. This is probably a sign.

 

Today, found out that my chief supervisor is retiring in January. Writing's on the wall - the sub-supervisor, the one who gives me grief, is probably going to inherit the unit given how we do things. Reckon it's time for me to jump ship in earnest.

 

So, yeah, lot of up and down right now. But training and strength work should happen tonight regardless.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I did make the title change you requested but was asked by Treva herself to undo it.

[Kishi]

1 minute ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I did make the title change you requested but was asked by Treva herself to undo it.

 

Oh yikes. Um. Disregard, then. Thanks anyway, though!

[Mistr]

1 hour ago, Kishi said:

Monday would have been another gaming day, but the Lady wanted to get together again before I took off for Maine, and Monday was the only day I could see to making work, so I carved out some time and took her to a speakeasy. We got lost in conversation again and wound up shutting the place down, which is the 3rd time that's happened. This is probably a sign.

 

Yes, that is a very good sign.  

 

1 hour ago, Kishi said:

Today, found out that my chief supervisor is retiring in January. Writing's on the wall - the sub-supervisor, the one who gives me grief, is probably going to inherit the unit given how we do things. Reckon it's time for me to jump ship in earnest.

 

Yup. Polish up that resume and start passing it around. Right now is a great time to look for a new job. Many places are hiring. You have valuable communication skills and a proven ability to tolerate bureaucracy. You even have enough time to be choosy. Get moving now before the holiday slow-down hits.

[WhiteGhost]

9 hours ago, Kishi said:

The last thing I want to do is lecture someone in the field who knows more about this kind of thing than me (although as @WhiteGhost can point out, I seem to have a knack for that kind of thing. :D).

That's not how I remember it.   I believe you we merely sharing your opinion based on whatever level of understanding you happened to have. I didn't get the vibe that you were trying to lecture at all

 

[Urgan]

17 hours ago, Kishi said:

Planks aren't necessarily garbage

 

if what you intend to do is become really, really good at planks. There. I said it.

 

17 hours ago, Kishi said:

BTW, if this seems like it's a bad take, please by all means push back on me. The last thing I want to do is lecture someone in the field who knows more about this kind of thing than me (although as @WhiteGhost can point out, I seem to have a knack for that kind of thing. :D).

 

8 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

That's not how I remember it.   I believe you we merely sharing your opinion based on whatever level of understanding you happened to have. I didn't get the vibe that you were trying to lecture at all

 

^ this and heck, this is your thread it practically has "Kishi's Soapbox" written on it. If someone doesn't want to hear your thoughts, this is...an interesting choice. That burden is entirely on the reader, yes?

 

15 hours ago, Mistr said:

Yup. Polish up that resume and start passing it around. Right now is a great time to look for a new job. Many places are hiring. You have valuable communication skills and a proven ability to tolerate bureaucracy. You even have enough time to be choosy. Get moving now before the holiday slow-down hits.

 

YES. And don't be discouraged if you don't see anything for a little while. There are seasons for different types of jobs.

[Kishi]

16 hours ago, Mistr said:

Yup. Polish up that resume and start passing it around. Right now is a great time to look for a new job. Many places are hiring. You have valuable communication skills and a proven ability to tolerate bureaucracy. You even have enough time to be choosy. Get moving now before the holiday slow-down hits.

 

58 minutes ago, Urgan said:

YES. And don't be discouraged if you don't see anything for a little while. There are seasons for different types of jobs.

 

The resume's all polished and good to go. I've been told that I need to work on getting my LinkedIn up to date, but I'm honestly not sure how necessary that is. One way or the other, though, gotta get it done.

 

9 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

That's not how I remember it.   I believe you we merely sharing your opinion based on whatever level of understanding you happened to have. I didn't get the vibe that you were trying to lecture at all

 

Ah, that's good! I tend to have a lot of conviction in my opinions and I've not always been gracious in how I share. It's something I'm pretty paranoid about.

 

1 hour ago, Urgan said:

^ this and heck, this is your thread it practically has "Kishi's Soapbox" written on it. If someone doesn't want to hear your thoughts, this is...an interesting choice. That burden is entirely on the reader, yes?

 

That's true.

 

*

 

Training and strength work happened! Both were good. Worked on triangles in the grappling portion and especially how to frame up. Still need to keep working my fundamentals. Striking afterward went okay, but I keep getting hit with these face shots, especially on that one tall dude who was running the class last night.

 

It's a good lesson, to be sure, but damned if I can figure out how to apply it. But I need to figure it out. And it'll help me when dealing with people who are of a size with me.

 

Anyway. Quiet night tonight. Food and feels with friends. Tomorrow I commence my travels to Portland.

[Teirin]

Have fun!

 

LinkedIn seems to be unfortunately crucial to job hunting in a lot of industries these days. 

[Urgan]

Re: LinkedIn, some people swear by it, some people swear it's a good way to get recruiters your information so they can get your hopes up that they (actually) have a job (you're actually qualified for) to which you may apply. It's a gamble--by all means, try all avenues, who knows. Opportunities often come in disguise lol.

[Treva]

On 10/29/2019 at 4:24 PM, Kishi said:

 

I mean, you're a doctor. You're freaking busy. Also, @Tanktimus the Encourager, is there any way we could see about changing her title to "Monk M.D."? It suits.

 

On 10/29/2019 at 5:12 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I did make the title change you requested but was asked by Treva herself to undo it.

 

On 10/29/2019 at 5:13 PM, Kishi said:

 

Oh yikes. Um. Disregard, then. Thanks anyway, though!

Good lord I am sorry for the confusion, @Tanktimus the Encourager was incredibly kind about changing it to, and then changing it back, at my request, because now I have a title that will get me sued.  I'm still navigating the new medico-legal world I live in, and the general advice from everyone is "do not be a doctor on the internet.  if anyone argues with you about science, just say you're a private citizen and walk away."  

but it is very kind from all fronts and I am sorry I cannot accept the kindness  

 

On 10/29/2019 at 4:24 PM, Kishi said:

Planks aren't necessarily garbage but they're a little overprescribed in training regimens in general. They're wonderful for core stability especially for beginner athletes, but it hits a point of diminishing returns relatively quickly, and if the athlete is consistent in their practice, they're eventually going to need to find other things to do.

 

One of the things that they are apparently overprescribed for is postural correction, and this is Not Ideal. The plank in general is good for core stability, but it also works a lot of the anterior chain which, over time, can negatively impact posture. As the muscles get tighter, they develop a resting tonus that draws the shoulders and the spine into forward flexion. This does not good posture make. Cavalere proposes a sort of "reverse" plank where you support yourself using the posterior chain to counteract this. There are some variants of this in calisthenics where it's referred to as a "straight bridge," to give you an idea of the thing.

 

BTW, if this seems like it's a bad take, please by all means push back on me. The last thing I want to do is lecture someone in the field who knows more about this kind of thing than me (although as @WhiteGhost can point out, I seem to have a knack for that kind of thing. :D).

Huh.  See, for me planks are my stopgap when I need a single core exercise, but usually I do them as part of a full core regimen that does work the posterior chain (I live and die by pilates harder than I do for S&S).  I guess since I learned them as a component, and not as a postural correction, I didn't realize people used it for other things.  I absolutely agree with your statement, and you are spot on.  I just didn't realize they were overprescribed so badly.  You're absolutely right that you need to work both the "push" and the "pull" of the core, the core being all muscles front and back from below the shoulderblades to the knees.    You're good.  no pushback required.  You know your things.

 

On 10/29/2019 at 4:24 PM, Kishi said:

 

Cool story yes please validate me

Yes I had him try to do S&S with me, and he was all swears and "what do you mean you have to do fifty swings PER HAND with those stupid core exercises in fifteen minutes are you crazy?" and I'm like "yes, this is why I'm not at the heavier weights, because I cant physically move it fast enough to complete all the sets in the time limit."

He also eventually refused to do the full TGUs set because his core was killing him.   competition weight lifter, committed to functional fitness, said "girl I'm done you do that core stuff and I'll watch."

I have since seen other weight lifters attempting TGUs with the same weights I use and I'm like "you are twice my size.  Why....why do you use the same weight."  I'm only doing 30lb TGUs and I can boss most of the boys in the gym, which as the curvy girl is weird weird weird.  

So yeah, you're a boss, because most of the huge people in my gym can't touch the weights you're fooling with when it comes to those exercises.  

 

On 10/29/2019 at 4:24 PM, Kishi said:

I might not have mentioned it! This is not the same woman I decided to be friends with. This is a different woman. I met her some time ago; I'm not actually clear when? I was out with some friends of mine doing a night of drinking and partying to celebrate... something. I thought it was for a friend's birthday? Anyway, I met this girl at that time, and we hit it off really well. Had a strong sense of connection with one another and everything. And then we proceeded not to talk to each other for a while. I say it was a year, everyone else around me says it was 6 months. I mean, okay?

 

But either way, we fell out of touch and then just recently found ourselves back in touch when she was staying over at the Scifi Buddy's house (as she's between places right now while her new house is built). And we both felt we shouldn't let that happen again. So we've gone on a few dates and things are going well.

 

I am so excited for you!!!  I am glad you had the opportunity to reconnect and are going on dates and shutting places down.  I love it.  I'm so happy for you.

 

On 10/29/2019 at 4:24 PM, Kishi said:

Monday would have been another gaming day, but the Lady wanted to get together again before I took off for Maine, and Monday was the only day I could see to making work, so I carved out some time and took her to a speakeasy. We got lost in conversation again and wound up shutting the place down, which is the 3rd time that's happened. This is probably a sign.

This is adorable and I'm dead now, I need a library's worth of squealing gifs to adequately express my feels about what a good this is.  What a nice, nice thing.

This is a good sign.  good, good sign.

 

On 10/30/2019 at 1:51 AM, WhiteGhost said:

On 10/29/2019 at 4:24 PM, Kishi said:

The last thing I want to do is lecture someone in the field who knows more about this kind of thing than me (although as @WhiteGhost can point out, I seem to have a knack for that kind of thing. :D).

That's not how I remember it.   I believe you we merely sharing your opinion based on whatever level of understanding you happened to have. I didn't get the vibe that you were trying to lecture at all

 

On 10/30/2019 at 9:59 AM, Urgan said:

 

^ this and heck, this is your thread it practically has "Kishi's Soapbox" written on it. If someone doesn't want to hear your thoughts, this is...an interesting choice. That burden is entirely on the reader, yes?

 

This is YOUR thread and you own it.  you're also very nuanced in what you say anyways, so...this be your space.  I am a happy visitor.

 

On 10/29/2019 at 4:24 PM, Kishi said:

 

Today, found out that my chief supervisor is retiring in January. Writing's on the wall - the sub-supervisor, the one who gives me grief, is probably going to inherit the unit given how we do things. Reckon it's time for me to jump ship in earnest.

Yikes.  Yikes yikes yikes.  At least you have two ish months to get yourself out of there.   Best of luck to you, I am rooting for you, full throttle.  I hope you find a place that helps you be happy and fulfilled.  Fast.  

[Renate]

Goodday/evening Saw someone was using  this website for nanowrimo and wanted to share: https://4thewords.com/

 

 

[Kishi]

On ‎10‎/‎30‎/‎2019 at 6:48 PM, Teirin said:

LinkedIn seems to be unfortunately crucial to job hunting in a lot of industries these days.

 

Right? Good Lord.

 

On ‎10‎/‎31‎/‎2019 at 9:57 AM, Urgan said:

Re: LinkedIn, some people swear by it, some people swear it's a good way to get recruiters your information so they can get your hopes up that they (actually) have a job (you're actually qualified for) to which you may apply. It's a gamble--by all means, try all avenues, who knows. Opportunities often come in disguise lol.

 

I mean, maybe? My impression of it is that it's a good thing to have up to date for when recruiters want to check you out. Like a sort of cross-verification thing? IDK; I'm not very savvy with it and I'm not sure what utility it brings outside of being another way for recruiters to see I'm not a Cylon.

 

On ‎10‎/‎30‎/‎2019 at 6:48 PM, Teirin said:

Have fun!

 

Did! Holy crow, did I.

 

On ‎11‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 10:53 AM, Treva said:

Good lord I am sorry for the confusion, @Tanktimus the Encourager was incredibly kind about changing it to, and then changing it back, at my request, because now I have a title that will get me sued.  I'm still navigating the new medico-legal world I live in, and the general advice from everyone is "do not be a doctor on the internet.  if anyone argues with you about science, just say you're a private citizen and walk away."  

but it is very kind from all fronts and I am sorry I cannot accept the kindness  

 

No, no, I had no idea that this would be an issue. The fault is mine. I should have thought ahead. I was just so stoked for you to hear that you'd made it through after everything you were made to endure and I wanted to honor that in the best way that a stranger on the internet can. I didn't even pause to think about possible legal ramifications.

 

So, I'm sorry, you're sorry, we're sorry, awesome. Let's be sorry together so we can move on to not-sorry.

 

On ‎11‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 10:53 AM, Treva said:

Huh.  See, for me planks are my stopgap when I need a single core exercise, but usually I do them as part of a full core regimen that does work the posterior chain (I live and die by pilates harder than I do for S&S).  I guess since I learned them as a component, and not as a postural correction, I didn't realize people used it for other things.  I absolutely agree with your statement, and you are spot on.  I just didn't realize they were overprescribed so badly.  You're absolutely right that you need to work both the "push" and the "pull" of the core, the core being all muscles front and back from below the shoulderblades to the knees.    You're good.  no pushback required.  You know your things.

 

Oh yay this makes me happy. I am glad.

 

On ‎11‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 10:53 AM, Treva said:

Yes I had him try to do S&S with me, and he was all swears and "what do you mean you have to do fifty swings PER HAND with those stupid core exercises in fifteen minutes are you crazy?" and I'm like "yes, this is why I'm not at the heavier weights, because I cant physically move it fast enough to complete all the sets in the time limit."

He also eventually refused to do the full TGUs set because his core was killing him.   competition weight lifter, committed to functional fitness, said "girl I'm done you do that core stuff and I'll watch."

I have since seen other weight lifters attempting TGUs with the same weights I use and I'm like "you are twice my size.  Why....why do you use the same weight."  I'm only doing 30lb TGUs and I can boss most of the boys in the gym, which as the curvy girl is weird weird weird.  

So yeah, you're a boss, because most of the huge people in my gym can't touch the weights you're fooling with when it comes to those exercises.

 

Maybe weird, but it's good weird. Now you get to ask the next question: why is it that so many people look so strong, but perform so weak?

 

On ‎11‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 10:53 AM, Treva said:

 

I am so excited for you!!!  I am glad you had the opportunity to reconnect and are going on dates and shutting places down.  I love it.  I'm so happy for you.

 

Thank you. <3

 

On ‎11‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 10:53 AM, Treva said:

This is adorable and I'm dead now, I need a library's worth of squealing gifs to adequately express my feels about what a good this is.  What a nice, nice thing.

This is a good sign.  good, good sign.

 

Yeah, turned out it was.

 

On ‎11‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 10:53 AM, Treva said:

This is YOUR thread and you own it.  you're also very nuanced in what you say anyways, so...this be your space.  I am a happy visitor.

 

Thank you. I'm always happy to have visitors.

 

On ‎11‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 10:53 AM, Treva said:

Yikes.  Yikes yikes yikes.  At least you have two ish months to get yourself out of there.   Best of luck to you, I am rooting for you, full throttle.  I hope you find a place that helps you be happy and fulfilled.  Fast.

 

Girl, me too. We are on a mission right now.

 

On ‎11‎/‎3‎/‎2019 at 4:58 AM, analoggirl said:

Goodday/evening Saw someone was using  this website for nanowrimo and wanted to share: https://4thewords.com/

 

 

 

Neat! I'll have to give that a look. Thanks for bringing it up!

 

*

 

Hey there, y'all. It's been a while. Hope you've been good.

 

Also, it's been a week, and I really should bring you up to date. So.

 

Thursday I made the trip to Portland. Trip up was uneventful, which is exactly what you want when traveling long distance. Everything actually went way smoother than I thought it would, which was a good kind of strange that I could learn to get used to in time. I got up to Portland way ahead of schedule and per the recommendation of my friend, we wound up at a place called Duckfat. It's not exactly vegan-friendly; everything that is cooked there is cooked in duck fat. It was way better than it sounds, and it sounds delirious to start with. This also went smoother than we all thought it would; the restaurant is basically built like a hole in the wall and doesn't have much room, so we thought I'd get there early and get our name on the list. Instead, it was only a little busy and I was able to get in and get a seat for us.

 

And then I met my friend and everything was great. She's really enjoyed her time up in Maine and I was seeing her at the end of her stay, when she'd really had the chance to establish herself and get to know and be known. We caught up with each other and the time just flew. She's really been coming into her own as a person, and the biggest thing that happened for her is coming back to a kind of theism. She's wound up as some manner of pagan, and I wouldn't bring this up except that it's going to be relevant.

 

So after we got dinner, we went back to her place in Lewiston and I got the tour. Pretty cool. She also showed me her new Tarot decks, which were very pretty to look at and which she's been using lately as meditative guides. It's been helpful to her; she does deal with anxiety and this has really encouraged her to "go with the flow" as it were. I helped her out with reshuffling the cards and she showed me how to do another kind of shuffle which I'd always seen and wanted to learn, and then she did a reading on me. We found our way to an arrangement that was based on the Bagua, the 8 Trigrams of the I Ching, and this felt appropriate to me as in the first place, it's related to martial arts, and in the second place, it's got a closer relationship to my praxis as opposed to something more western. This particular arrangement was to see what kind of energy I was bringing with me.

 

Now, I'm not sure how much I believe in the supernatural aspects of this stuff. I think a lot of it has more to do with suggestion toward certain topics of meditation than it necessarily does with getting the guidance of the universe. That being said, it's always been damned eerie whenever I've got it done, because it has a tendency to land close to home. The reading turned out mostly good, FYI, but the relevant bit is that when it came to friendship we drew the 10 of Swords, which refers to a cutting off of relationships. This friend did not know that I'd pretty much peaced out of the Dramatis Personae. I was not able to hide this forever.

 

Friday, she had to go to work, so I got up and went to a café to do some writing. They had good vegan food there which was super tasty and filled a hole in my soul. Then off to the library to do more work. My friend met me at the library after it closed and we went out for dinner and drinks, which was fun. After that, binged on the new season of Queer Eye, which was super light and super interesting as she's lived in Japan and had a lot of insight to offer for why things were the way they were.

 

Saturday we actually got to go into Portland proper. It was the morning ride in when it came out that I really wasn't in the friend group anymore. I told her on Thursday night at dinner that I was seeing the Lady, and she was super-excited about this. Saturday morning she mentioned that she would want to meet the Lady and I had two sisters in the DP who would want to meet her too. It came out that I don't see them that way anymore, and I had to explain what I'd been through to come to that conclusion. That wasn't fun to do. It didn't really put a damper on things for me, as I've done most of my grieving over what we were already and I've mostly found my way to accepting it. We got to Portland and passed through coffeehouses and tea stores and book shops and cobblestone streets. I got a lobster roll for dinner, and that was cool.

 

We ended the night in a Starbucks. And I guess she'd been carrying the weight of what I said, because it came down on her while we wrote and she cried, because we'd been so close and she couldn't see how this had happened. I felt badly for that - not for doing what I had to do but for the pain that she was feeling. I managed to console her there in the moment and even bring her back to laughing, but even so.

 

She said she was going to reach out to the DP at some point to "make this right." Oh, buddy. Guess there's more emotional labor in my future. But it'd be on me I guess since I haven't told her "no." I guess because there's a part of me that misses my friends and who we were, and that part wants my friends back. I don't know how to reconcile that with how much better my life is without them in it, because up until we picked up those toxic-ass people, we were close. We were family. I belonged.

 

I dunno what's gonna happen. But that's the future, and we're talking about the past.

 

Sunday, my friend seemed very mindful of me. She let me pick a last thing for us to do and then took me to the airport. The flight home was uneventful. She messaged after me when I got home, and that's good of her; she says I'm welcome to visit any time. I will want to. Travel is fun.

 

So that was Sunday. Monday I went out to see the Lady and some friends as she got a promotion and wanted to celebrate. She told me that I was missed and I told her I couldn't get over how beautiful she was. We got together again Tuesday night, and... yeah. I'm gonna say we're a thing now.

 

I did do some strength training Tuesday; I'm getting into assisted pistol work on the legs which is really neat to be back to.

 

... whew. Yeah. So, it's been a rollercoaster this past week. Oh and NaNoWriMo started. God. It's never one thing.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

3 hours ago, Kishi said:

 

No, no, I had no idea that this would be an issue. The fault is mine. I should have thought ahead. I was just so stoked for you to hear that you'd made it through after everything you were made to endure and I wanted to honor that in the best way that a stranger on the internet can. I didn't even pause to think about possible legal ramifications

What I think is amazing is that what you suggested was exactly what I had done, down to the punctuation. 

3 hours ago, Kishi said:

She said she was going to reach out to the DP at some point to "make this right." Oh, buddy. Guess there's more emotional labor in my future. But it'd be on me I guess since I haven't told her "no." I guess because there's a part of me that misses my friends and who we were, and that part wants my friends back. I don't know how to reconcile that with how much better my life is without them in it, because up until we picked up those toxic-ass people, we were close. We were family. I belonged.

 

One option, and I admit it's the most difficult, is to simply say that the toxic people are why you are no longer in the friend group.

3 hours ago, Kishi said:

So that was Sunday. Monday I went out to see the Lady and some friends as she got a promotion and wanted to celebrate. She told me that I was missed and I told her I couldn't get over how beautiful she was. We got together again Tuesday night, and... yeah. I'm gonna say we're a thing now.

 

That's great, I am so happy for you.

[Renate]

10 hours ago, Kishi said:

So that was Sunday. Monday I went out to see the Lady and some friends as she got a promotion and wanted to celebrate. She told me that I was missed and I told her I couldn't get over how beautiful she was. We got together again Tuesday night, and... yeah. I'm gonna say we're a thing now.

 

Yay! Both for her promotion and you two getting that 'click'  I'd say she is on a roolllll this week (reaching a self-development goal AND getting a keeper) (and you are an a roll too of course) (this sounded better in my head but WOOHOO)

[Kishi]

15 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

What I think is amazing is that what you suggested was exactly what I had done, down to the punctuation. 

 

Great minds and all that.

 

15 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

One option, and I admit it's the most difficult, is to simply say that the toxic people are why you are no longer in the friend group.

 

And you know, that's probably the right thing to do. It's not just their toxicity, it's what they've done to the people who they're being toxic with and what it's costing them.

 

Lord, but that would be hard.

 

15 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

That's great, I am so happy for you.

 

8 hours ago, analoggirl said:

 

Yay! Both for her promotion and you two getting that 'click'  I'd say she is on a roolllll this week (reaching a self-development goal AND getting a keeper) (and you are an a roll too of course) (this sounded better in my head but WOOHOO)

 

 Thanks, guys.

 

*

 

So, that was Wednesday. Wednesday ended with food and feels. Friends made a vegetarian chili dish, which I didn't ask them to do but neatly let me work in what I'm doing to take care of myself these days. After that, we started in on Jack Ryan. I'd wanted to see it for a while but I'd not really got the chance to sit myself down and do it, and so far it's enjoyable. Part of me kinda wants to rail against the thus far unquestioned hegemony of the US, but you know. We're two episodes into two seasons; I can suspend judgment for now.

 

Followed up with my doctor today. Blood numbers are looking dope, she couldn't believe how much I'd improved between dietary changes and supplementation. That was cool. Also, my last lab work showed Hashimoto's antibodies, meaning that I've got a diagnosis of Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. That means I gotta avoid gluten, dairy, and sugar. Better to know than not, and it could be worse. I could have celiac to go with it, and I thankfully do not, and I've been able to eat all of those things without much effect on me, which signals confirmation that they work for me as indulgences rather than standard parts of my diet. Better to know than not.

 

So, yeah. Good day so far. BJJ and Q&D tonight.

[Kishi]

BJJ and Q&D happened!

 

BJJ was a good time. I found out that my brother and the teaching blue belt did have D&D after all and it went well enough for the blue belt to join up with the Saturday game that my brother does, which is awesome. Blue did try to get Bro to come out and do jiujutsu, but Bro didn't take it. Oh well. This is still not necessarily a bad outcome; I'm happy for them both.

 

We're working on escapes this month so that's what we focused on. Had a new guy come in, and the rolls were mixed. Tapped one, got tapped by the new guy, and tried to work on basics with the Coach. Blue had to leave early, although we got one roll in; he smashed me as he does. So. Some days you win and some days you learn.

 

Q&D was different in that it wound up being a bodyweight edition. This is per guidance in the book that at a certain point, you can introduce other things to do rather than just snatches and swings and push ups. I've been rolling the dice when figuring out what I'm to do and it wound up this time being jumps rather than swings. It was a neat shake-up of the whole thing. I did some shadowrolling afterward and called it a night.

 

Tonight would normally be open mat, but the Lady's free, so instead we're gonna go dancing. Looking forward to it.

[Mistr]

Yay for a good time with your friend in Maine and for having a Thing going with the Lady!

 

Great that you have been able to manage your health concerns with diet and exercise. I hope that continues to go well.

[Urgan]

Girlfriend GET.

 

Yeah might want to stop Maine friend from stirring the pot. If she thinks she's helping you because you feel pushed out, that's sweet. If she's taking action based on her own feeling of nostalgia for How It Used to Be, it's a well-meant sentiment also but needs to be addressed ASAP. Everything seems to be well in hand now, though. It sounds like the negative people finally are being put in their place, or so it seems based on your reportage.

[Kishi]

On ‎11‎/‎8‎/‎2019 at 1:10 PM, Mistr said:

Yay for a good time with your friend in Maine and for having a Thing going with the Lady!

 

Great that you have been able to manage your health concerns with diet and exercise. I hope that continues to go well. 

 

Yeah, just a lot of good going right now. Hope that keeps up.

 

On ‎11‎/‎11‎/‎2019 at 10:45 AM, Urgan said:

Girlfriend GET.

 

Gosh, yeah. Now to readjust to life with that reality. A welcome challenge.

 

On ‎11‎/‎11‎/‎2019 at 10:45 AM, Urgan said:

Yeah might want to stop Maine friend from stirring the pot. If she thinks she's helping you because you feel pushed out, that's sweet. If she's taking action based on her own feeling of nostalgia for How It Used to Be, it's a well-meant sentiment also but needs to be addressed ASAP. Everything seems to be well in hand now, though. It sounds like the negative people finally are being put in their place, or so it seems based on your reportage.

 

Well, I'm not sure if they're being put in their place or what. I'm not invested in the outcome anymore so I'm not really paying attention. I probably need to do a better job of spelling out to her why I peaced out - see avoiding the DO because she wanted to use me to scratch her 7-year itch and how as a man dealing with a woman that's incredibly problematic - as she thinks right now that I'm avoiding drama and she needs to know why I'm going out of my way to avoid situations where the DO is. So.

 

*

 

Happy Tuesday err'body!

 

Hope you've been well.

 

So, Friday, the Lady and I went dancing. We went and beered afterward and just talked. She came to the dance in a bad headspace, and by the time we were done she was in a good headspace, but she'd had to dance with some other friends to get her there because she is in a position right now where she doesn't quite trust me to help her with that stuff. I don't begrudge her this. Like y'all may have picked up, we talk a lot, and it's come up that she's been through a lot, and it's not all stuff she's been comfy talking to me about. That's been fine with me - her story's hers to tell if she wants to, and I figure it's not my place to pry unless she wants me to - but it also means we're having to work on our communication because I'm prone to thinking that it's my fault.

 

She said it'd be better for us to slow down with each other. I think that's wise, especially since I'm working through some issues of my own. But we definitely both agree that we're a Thing, and we want to keep being so.

 

Saturday was the Ren Faire in Charlotte. We all got down there, although the Lady was back in poor headspace. I tried to be sensitive to that. Not sure how well I did, but I guess we'll figure it out. The Faire was a lot of fun, though! Got to see all kinds of different acts and crafts folk, and we also got to watch a joust. The Lady knows horses, so I tried to engage with her about that, which helped some I think. Also, our knight won. Nice.

 

Dinner afterward before heading back to Raleigh. Talked writing with the friend I went with. After getting home, I trained and went to sleep and passed out for a good 12 hours or so.

 

Sunday was mostly quiet. There wasn't any extra training beyond BJJ. Still working on escapes, but picked up a couple and was able to move really well, to the degree that Coach commented on it. Also managed to pull a guard pass on Blue without him letting me get it, which was the first time that's happened. But somehow Blue got the stripe for it. Hah. I should get passes on him more often, see how it helps.

 

Yesterday, I decided to take a step in the right direction for my writing and give up on NaNoWriMo. It doesn't spark joy in me like it used to and I really want to buckle down and focus on this project I've got now without all the hoopla that goes around trying to get to 50K words. I've been there. I've done that. It doesn't serve me anymore to do that, especially since I haven't got a project out of the last dozen or so times I've done this, and I don't want to waste time or effort anymore on fruitless work.

 

Besides, if this was really that good, more pros would do it. It's a good starting point, but it's no end unto itself.

 

Today, I've gone into some more of the world-building details. Think I want to play with some more ideas there that are going to flesh the world out and make some more of the story make sense. As usual, BIC time is the key.

 

Also, on deload for S&C. I know I got some time off for my travels, but there's some nagging pain in my left shoulder and right glute that need to be addressed, and anyway a week of lower volume isn't going to delay anything.

 

Tonight should be general martial tomfoolery and strength work to follow.

[Mistr]

I'm glad to hear that you are picking the pace that fits you both in your new relationship and in your training. Great job Kishi!

[Urgan]

10 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Well, I'm not sure if they're being put in their place or what. I'm not invested in the outcome anymore so I'm not really paying attention. I probably need to do a better job of spelling out to her why I peaced out - see avoiding the DO because she wanted to use me to scratch her 7-year itch and how as a man dealing with a woman that's incredibly problematic - as she thinks right now that I'm avoiding drama and she needs to know why I'm going out of my way to avoid situations where the DO is. So.

 

"Their place" being right out of your head. If you tell Maine friend exactly why all the drama is bothering you she'll understand. You were in a real awkward place.

 

10 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Yesterday, I decided to take a step in the right direction for my writing and give up on NaNoWriMo. It doesn't spark joy in me like it used to and I really want to buckle down and focus on this project I've got now without all the hoopla that goes around trying to get to 50K words. I've been there. I've done that. It doesn't serve me anymore to do that, especially since I haven't got a project out of the last dozen or so times I've done this, and I don't want to waste time or effort anymore on fruitless work.

 

Effort concentration win. You got a lot going on, in a good way.

[Jupiter]

2 hours ago, Kishi said:

Yesterday, I decided to take a step in the right direction for my writing and give up on NaNoWriMo. It doesn't spark joy in me like it used to and I really want to buckle down and focus on this project I've got now without all the hoopla that goes around trying to get to 50K words. I've been there. I've done that. It doesn't serve me anymore to do that, especially since I haven't got a project out of the last dozen or so times I've done this, and I don't want to waste time or effort anymore on fruitless work.

 

Sounds like you made the better choice. NaNoWriMo is fun (speaking as someone who has never actually participated LOL) but it's not really a sustainable practice long term. It's a good starting off point for beginners and people who want to get into the habit but for those who are looking to go more in depth in their projects it's probably not the best medium (just my thoughts based on observation ). 

 

2 hours ago, Kishi said:

She said it'd be better for us to slow down with each other. I think that's wise, especially since I'm working through some issues of my own. But we definitely both agree that we're a Thing, and we want to keep being so.

 

Glad that your new relationship is going well! Congrats!