Battle Kitten: Ascension

[Talos]

1 hour ago, fleaball said:

They were giant sandwiches and I wasn't sitting at a table. It was really difficult to balance the plate in my lap and deal with the giant sandwich falling apart. While I was sitting a few seats away from a Saudi prince. It was awkward lol.

 

Does your life normally involve awkward sandwiches with Saudi royalty?

[fleaball]

9 minutes ago, Talos said:

 

Does your life normally involve awkward sandwiches with Saudi royalty?

Not at all.

Normally it's just me being awkward all by myself.

[Bookish Badger]

So just picking the ham and cheese out of the bread with your fingers was out, then.   Oh well.

[Severine]

On 9/28/2016 at 8:37 AM, fleaball said:

Sooooo. Neighbor who's always smoking weed on the porch next door just asked me if I have a boyfriend and immediately followed with "do you even LIKE men?" I said no, I'm way too busy with grad school and other shit to have time for dating. He says if I can make time for it if I want to and asks again if I like men. I should have said no and shut it down but the way he asked it made me nervous. He then asked if I date black guys and if not why? am I racist? Have I ever dated a black guy? I said no (true) and he just kept asking why. Threw out that I hadn't dated anyone and I don't think he believed me. Then he asked if he  can take me to lunch one day, I said I'm too busy, he asks can he bring me lunch some day? I was like just "thanks, I'm good." Nicely, of course. And he just went into the house and didn't say anything else. And now I feel like I did something wrong and pissed him off, which is bullshit because he's the one who kept pushing the issue when I'd said no repeatedly. So fuck that guy. 

 

On 9/28/2016 at 9:00 AM, zenLara said:

I don't like men that won't accept a no. No means no, but they keep on trying?? When someone does that to me, I put a mental tick on them: weirdo that could escalate to worse. So I remember to observe his behaviour more closely next time I interact with him.

I think you shouldn't feel bad about what you said. If he's pissed it's not your problem, it is him who began the harassment, and you don't need to be nice to him (or to whoever treats you like he did).

 

I'm 100% with Lara on this. In actual practical terms it doesn't sound like it'll have a big impact on your life, which is great. But this shitty pressuring behaviour is totally unacceptable.

 

Dudes have done the same thing while hitting on me and I've seen women do it too in other contexts like asking a favour or whatever. It always goes like this: Person wants something from you. Person asks for thing (often aggressively or in a way that assumes you have to say yes). You say no and try to be polite so you make a polite excuse. Person argues with the excuse or says it's invalid and asks again. You say no with a different reason, they argue with that too. Then they throw in accusations (you're racist, you think you're too good for me, etc.). Throughout the whole thing there is the underlying assumption that they are the self-appointed jury who gets to decide whether your reasons are valid, like they get a veto power over your choice. It's bullshit. There's no reasoning with people like that because they won't be happy with any answer other than the one they want to hear.

 

In my experience the magic ticket is: don't give reasons. Just say, politely, "Sorry, no thanks" or "I'm not interested, thanks anyway" or something similar. Repeat it like a broken record. Make the conversation boring because you won't take the bait and won't engage and won't give them any details to argue with. Don't grant them the authority inherent in feeling obliged to explain your motivation. If they're a decent person the only thing they should care about is whether you're interested, and they won't try to bargain or manipulate you like a creep. If they ask why, just repeat "Sorry, no thanks" or say, "I'm just not interested." If they say, "I bet it's because you're racist" or something, just shake your head and say, "No, that's not why. But like I said, no thanks" and GTFO.

[Severine]

On 9/28/2016 at 10:08 AM, fleaball said:

Yeah. The thought crossed my mind but the tone he was using made me think I was better off not going that route. The way he was asking made me super uncomfortable. :/

Yeah some situations it's not a safe idea to come out.

 

17 hours ago, fleaball said:

What my day actually was: surprise, we need you for FIVE HOURS even though mostly you're just going to be sitting in the back of the room, and then when you get back half an hour before its time to go home please edit this 15-page document written by non-native English speakers that's littered with errors you can't fix because you don't actually know what they're trying to say. And ignore the other assignment you barely started because yeah, no time for that. 

 

It's like you're wearing an invisible sign saying "I enjoy surreal nonsense in the workplace." Is there a chance you're actually trapped on some terrible reality show?

 

Regarding the Saudi prince and the awkward sandwich: sometimes I think your life would make a great webcomic    

[fleaball]

Presentation of the shitty project is in 22 minutes. I am shaky, vaguely nauseous, and my stomach is trying to eject itself from my body. Not because of the presentation, just because God hates me. Gonna be a fun time. Esp considering I am not prepared at all. 

[Lara]

3 hours ago, Severine said:

In my experience the magic ticket is: don't give reasons. Just say, politely, "Sorry, no thanks" or "I'm not interested, thanks anyway" or something similar. Repeat it like a broken record. Make the conversation boring because you won't take the bait and won't engage and won't give them any details to argue with. Don't grant them the authority inherent in feeling obliged to explain your motivation. If they're a decent person the only thing they should care about is whether you're interested, and they won't try to bargain or manipulate you like a creep. If they ask why, just repeat "Sorry, no thanks" or say, "I'm just not interested." If they say, "I bet it's because you're racist" or something, just shake your head and say, "No, that's not why. But like I said, no thanks" and GTFO.

Totally agree. Best way to deal. Don't engage, don't give reasons. I would even add: stop sounding nice when he begins to be impolite. I prefer someone call me a bitch because I was rude rather than let the situation escalate to something worse.

[Lara]

21 hours ago, fleaball said:

please edit this 15-page document written by non-native English speakers that's littered with errors you can't fix because you don't actually know what they're trying to say.

Oh, c'mon, bee nize to as. It's not that wii of choosed speakin ingliss.

[Bookish Badger]

Thanks to text-speak and generally declining standards, I think that often the non-English speakers have better grammar and spelling than the locals.

 

Just think, a couple hundred years ago people mostly spelled things however they could because there was no standardized spelling, then dictionaries were invented and Proper Spelling became a thing, and now we're swinging back in the other direction because so many are over it and don't care. There's a thesis project there...

[Talos]

1 hour ago, fleaball said:

Presentation of the shitty project is in 22 minutes. I am shaky, vaguely nauseous, and my stomach is trying to eject itself from my body. Not because of the presentation, just because God hates me. Gonna be a fun time. Esp considering I am not prepared at all. 

 

After-action report? How'd it go?

[fleaball]

Will respond to the dating issue later. Re the English thing: Lara I thought I was having a stroke when I read that. 

 

I wasn't really clear. My complaint was more that I had to fix the thing with zero time (bc ofc it was on a publishing deadline) and therefore couldn't do research to get context in order to rewrite it properly. I totally get how hard it is to write in another language (especially English because lol what is grammar). But "here's what my company is doing as far as CSR stuff in this country" is like, idk if this needs to be capitalized because it's a title or not. Did you spell this thing right? Is this how this word or thing is transliterated from your non-Latin alphabet? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

[fleaball]

1 hour ago, Talos said:

 

After-action report? How'd it go?

Well I was shaking like a crazy person and it was pissing me off, and I definitely forgot some of the things I wanted to say, but overall it went well. The prof seemed to like our presentation (we went first yay) and another student told my partner it was a good presentation so I'm going to apply that to both of us. =P there was one question she asked that we were split on but I'm not too concerned. We should get feedback in the next week or so. But it was def at least a B. 

[Severine]

3 hours ago, fleaball said:

Well I was shaking like a crazy person and it was pissing me off, and I definitely forgot some of the things I wanted to say, but overall it went well. The prof seemed to like our presentation (we went first yay) and another student told my partner it was a good presentation so I'm going to apply that to both of us. =P there was one question she asked that we were split on but I'm not too concerned. We should get feedback in the next week or so. But it was def at least a B. 

 

Very impressive!

[fleaball]

8 hours ago, Severine said:

I'm 100% with Lara on this. In actual practical terms it doesn't sound like it'll have a big impact on your life, which is great. But this shitty pressuring behaviour is totally unacceptable.

 

Dudes have done the same thing while hitting on me and I've seen women do it too in other contexts like asking a favour or whatever. It always goes like this: Person wants something from you. Person asks for thing (often aggressively or in a way that assumes you have to say yes). You say no and try to be polite so you make a polite excuse. Person argues with the excuse or says it's invalid and asks again. You say no with a different reason, they argue with that too. Then they throw in accusations (you're racist, you think you're too good for me, etc.). Throughout the whole thing there is the underlying assumption that they are the self-appointed jury who gets to decide whether your reasons are valid, like they get a veto power over your choice. It's bullshit. There's no reasoning with people like that because they won't be happy with any answer other than the one they want to hear.

 

In my experience the magic ticket is: don't give reasons. Just say, politely, "Sorry, no thanks" or "I'm not interested, thanks anyway" or something similar. Repeat it like a broken record. Make the conversation boring because you won't take the bait and won't engage and won't give them any details to argue with. Don't grant them the authority inherent in feeling obliged to explain your motivation. If they're a decent person the only thing they should care about is whether you're interested, and they won't try to bargain or manipulate you like a creep. If they ask why, just repeat "Sorry, no thanks" or say, "I'm just not interested." If they say, "I bet it's because you're racist" or something, just shake your head and say, "No, that's not why. But like I said, no thanks" and GTFO.

Yeah. Worst case, he doesn't acknowledge me if we pass each other on the sidewalk. Boo hoo. Everything you said is something I'm trying to work on. No matter what the situation, I always feel like I need to have a reason for saying no. And most people (especially roommate and the friend in RVA) don't take no for an answer anyway and just keep asking why, so then I trip over myself coming up with increasingly lame reasons. I'm getting slightly better at not giving excuses for some things, but there's a long way to go. And honestly 8am, pre-caffeinated Flea is not the most eloquent anyway. Or aware. Until he said "can I take you out to lunch" I had no idea where he was going with the inquistion. And then my reaction was basically:

 

 

 

8 hours ago, Severine said:

Yeah some situations it's not a safe idea to come out.

 

 

It's like you're wearing an invisible sign saying "I enjoy surreal nonsense in the workplace." Is there a chance you're actually trapped on some terrible reality show?

 

Regarding the Saudi prince and the awkward sandwich: sometimes I think your life would make a great webcomic    

hahaha it would actually be the most boring reality show in the world. If they're secretly filming one anyway, I'd better get a goddamn royalty check.

 

Haaaaa. If I could draw I'd consider it. There are some seriously ridiculous things in my life.

 

5 hours ago, zenLara said:

Totally agree. Best way to deal. Don't engage, don't give reasons. I would even add: stop sounding nice when he begins to be impolite. I prefer someone call me a bitch because I was rude rather than let the situation escalate to something worse.

Haven't I told you logic is banned here?

 

4 hours ago, Bookish Badger said:

Thanks to text-speak and generally declining standards, I think that often the non-English speakers have better grammar and spelling than the locals.

 

Just think, a couple hundred years ago people mostly spelled things however they could because there was no standardized spelling, then dictionaries were invented and Proper Spelling became a thing, and now we're swinging back in the other direction because so many are over it and don't care. There's a thesis project there...

I've seen a number of posts on tumblr about this. Most from people who are studying linguistics and related things and some people actually writing their thesis/dissertation on internet speak vs other things. It's fascinating. 

 

I'm torn on certain things. On one hand, language is constantly evolving and yeah, some grammar things are going to go away, especially in spoken/colloquial English. (Fuck the 70-year old lady who called me out for using a splint infinitive in an application essay.) On the other hand, some things really bother me when they're "wrong" (eg subjunctive mood). Then again my brain is a language brain so I probably pay more attention without meaning to.

[fleaball]

White House tour tomorrow. I had to rescue my passport from bed bug purgatory (and promptly shove it in a ziploc bag because paranoia) since I can't remember if I put my middle initial or my full middle name. I'm pretty sure I only put my initial assuming I would bring my license, but I'm def bringing both now because like hell am I missing this thing. 

 

It just took me 1.5 hours to transcribe 17 minutes of video. And I'm only halfway done. This stupid internship is pissing me off. I'm probably pissing them off too because I keep asking questions but when you send me a video on Monday and say it's due on Friday and should take at least 8 hours to do, on top of the rest of my life, fuck that. Then again, they keep spelling my name wrong despite the fact that it obviously says it in the 'from' field and, oh yeah, my email address is literally my full name. I know government is typically a clusterfuck but this is ridiculous. 

[fleaball]

Don't wanna get out of bed. Don't make me. 

 

Also fuck me. I was looking forward to a 3-day weekend next week. But no, I have one of those weekend classes Saturday & Sunday. No work Monday but class at 8 still. How miserable. 

[Severine]

 

Wake uuuuup! You said you want to go to the White House. Have fun!

 

Sorry about your non-long weekend   

 

 

[fleaball]

17 minutes ago, Severine said:

 

Wake uuuuup! You said you want to go to the White House. Have fun!

 

Sorry about your non-long weekend   

 

 

that gif is so adorable. I am awake, but my bed was so comfy. D: so sad. 

 

Also so I really like the pants in wearing today except they seem to have a built-in camel toe? As in the fabric in the legs/crotch folds over itself weird or something and just looks super awkward. No matter how I pull at the legs and readjust it won't go away.  someone who is better at clothes tell me how to fix it. (At least I don't have to worry about accidentally running into Obama and looking like a tool.)

[Jarric]

On ‎29‎/‎09‎/‎2016 at 3:59 PM, Severine said:

 

In my experience the magic ticket is: don't give reasons. Just say, politely, "Sorry, no thanks" or "I'm not interested, thanks anyway" or something similar. Repeat it like a broken record. Make the conversation boring because you won't take the bait and won't engage and won't give them any details to argue with. Don't grant them the authority inherent in feeling obliged to explain your motivation. If they're a decent person the only thing they should care about is whether you're interested, and they won't try to bargain or manipulate you like a creep. If they ask why, just repeat "Sorry, no thanks" or say, "I'm just not interested." If they say, "I bet it's because you're racist" or something, just shake your head and say, "No, that's not why. But like I said, no thanks" and GTFO.

 

Late to the conversation, but totally agree with this. I think if you give an excuse you're effectively saying "I'd love to but I can't because...", at which point you've given the other person a problem to solve (whether they're trying to be helpful or just trying to bend you to their will). And if you lie then you're setting yourself up for loads more trouble down the line when the truth comes out.

 

Also, it's not really anyone else's business why you don't want to/can't do something unless you want to share it.

 

On the language thing, I can accept that language evolves (to a point) as long as the message is clear. Where I work 90% of my communication with clients is by e-mail, so I have to be absolutely clear and unambiguous, but it amazes me how poorly some so-called "professionals" write their e-mails (especially when I have to go back and ask them what the hell they mean!).

[Bookish Badger]

8 hours ago, Severine said:

 

 

My cat does this daily! Except he's more emphatic about it and usually goes for the eyeballs. Fortunately for me he was declawed by the previous owner so my vision remains unimpaired (at least by cat percussive interventions - age is doing its own number on my sight).

[fleaball]

I didn't do shit at work today. I have to get this stupid video thing done. And all I want to do is crawl into bed despite it only being 7pm. Someone bring me a gallon of ice cream.

 

Also the White House tour was lame af.

[Owlet]

Speaking of language (yes I'm hijacking your thread) we are voting on mayoral candidates at the moment and wow, there are some interesting bios... I refuse to vote for someone who switches between 3rd person and 1st person multiple times within a 1 paragraph description of themselves. 

 

Buu for weekend classes! No fair.

[Owlet]

Oh and as for the pants, I think the solution is get new ones sorry

[Lara]

16 hours ago, fleaball said:

Also the White House tour was lame af.

Why?

[fleaball]

4 minutes ago, zenLara said:

Why?

You only go through like 5 rooms and it's the ones in the East Wing that aren't really used anymore. It's basically a museum. Like "James Madison held dinner parties here." We spent more time in line to get in than we did in the actual building. 

 

95% on the stupid presentation. Yay. Detailed feedback still to come but I'll take it. I still feel vaguely off about it because I feel like the other girl did most of the work, but she did it without consulting me ahead of time so it's not like I could have stopped her/pitched in more.