Battle Kitten: Ascension

[Countess D'If]

MUSH BRAIN DOG PILE!!!!!

[Lara]

13 hours ago, Severine said:

And you have turned yourself into a person who can start sentences with, "Back when I ran a Spartan..."

 

[fleaball]

Dear Flea:

 

No. 

 

You do not want to sign up for a half marathon. Fucking stop it. 

 

Love,

Flea

[Lara]

4 hours ago, fleaball said:

Dear Flea:

 

No. 

 

You do not want to sign up for a half marathon. Fucking stop it. 

 

Love,

Flea

 

Do it! Do it!

 

[fleaball]

3 hours ago, zenLara said:

 

Do it! Do it!

 

I might. It's in March. I just have to make sure I can run a 5k without injuring myself first. 

[fleaball]

Bit late with these replies, but at least I'm here?

 

On 8/31/2016 at 5:57 AM, Owlet said:

Hmm, there's a lot here and I'm not sure I have any answers (I'm not even totally sure what I think) In a nutshell: Spartan, done and dusted so no need to comment; internship/school etc, you survived the paper wars so I have no doubt you can do this, even if you get the odd B (you should get amongst the B's lol, A's are holding you back in life); other stuff.. that's where it gets tricky heh. First off, that is a really nice photo. As for "I am inherently unworthy and should just adopt a dozen cats." nope. You're intelligent (with the scholarships and grades to prove it) well-travelled, interesting, pretty, funny, etc, you get the idea... Maybe your friends don't tell you this sort of thing (can't believe your friend's reply was "lol. i'm so tired of mom bitching about cat litter on the floor."?!) but you should know that you're not the complete weirdo you seem to think you are. I mean I get it, I feel like that too, but sometimes you just have to ignore that and take a leap of faith anyway, whether it's reaching out to people to make a new friendship or trying out the dating thing. And I dunno, maybe dating someone would sort of get the ball rolling on other fronts too? It kind of sounds like you are a bit underwhelmed with your life in general right now, although that might just be me reading into it. But if you had something exciting going on you might find it easier to get excited about other things too and find 'reasons' for your goals. 

"I still can't get past 'none of these people look interesting to me, why would I ask them to get coffee?' " yeah I get that. I generally only get interested in people once I know them a bit better. Personality is everything, so it's hard to get excited about looks. At least with something like Tinder you can chat to people and kind of weed out everyone you definitely wouldn't want to date, and go from there. Worked for me, although I very nearly gave up because I got sick of going on hopelessly awkward dates. I dunno, I guess I would say dating doesn't solve everything, by any means, but it is good for a bit of a confidence boost. I only had one boyfriend before my current one, and it was years ago, so I was feeling very much like I'd end up dying alone in a sea of cats. Whereas now I don't feel like such a freak and feel more able to take on other challenges in my life. That said, just do whatever the hell you want lol. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. 

haha you see why I keep saying I need new friends. =P First off, thanks for the compliments. Second, I think you're right about being underwhelmed with life? That's not a conclusion I would have come to on my own but it certainly seems to fit. Knee-jerk reaction, of course, is that it's all my own fault and I could be doing exciting things if I only did XYZ or whatever. But I'm just going to ignore my brain on that front for now.

 

re: dating and such - I'm sure I'm being extra picky on apps as some kind of defense mechanism so I don't actually have to deal with the stress of talking to people. But also there are very few people whose profiles seem interesting, whether they're physically attractive or not. It's likely a consequence of where I live, but everyone is all about politics and running 57 miles before work in the morning and craft beer, and most of the girls are like "message me about intersectional feminism and overthrowing the patriarchy!" And any or all of these things are like, the biggest chunk of their profile. Do not want. 

 

"I'd end up dying alone in a sea of cats" You have a way with words, my friend. This is quite a picture.

 

On 8/31/2016 at 1:54 PM, Severine said:

I think there's value in understanding what's going on, even if what's going isn't something you want to be happening. Can't work on stopping it if you're not even aware it's happening, right?

 

And my brain does this to me all the time. When I was in school I'd get 97% on a test or a paper and in front of everyone else I'd act happy (because I didn't want to be that person who gripes about their 97) but silently I'd be frustrated with myself if I thought some of the marks I lost were based on silly mistakes and not something truly challenging. And it happens in my personal life and at work all the time. No matter what I accomplish, and even when I am able to feel satisfied about what I've accomplished (which is not always, but decently often) there's still the ever-present voice telling me what I missed, what I could have done better, and how much more I am or should be capable of.

 

I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand I do want to be someone who pushes themselves to always be improving. Quest for continual personal exploration and growth and all that. But I don't want to be someone who's incapable of ever being happy in the moment, of ever appreciating what I have. I want to find that magic unicorn balance where I'm loving and understanding of my current flaws, but gently and respectfully working for improvement; where I'm proud of the good work I have done and giving myself credit where it's due and room to celebrate and relax and savour the moment, but also not resting on my laurels or making excuses.

 

I don't know how to find that magic unicorn of mental and emotional balance. I'm still looking. If I find ever it, I'll sit on it and pin it down until all of you can run over and grab on.

OH MY GOD YES on the test thing. So much yes. And fuck not being able to share your disappointment in not doing as well as you wanted because how dare you complain when you still got a higher score than almost everyone? 

 

Ugh. Emotional balance. So overrated. I think my issue with it is that I sabotage myself: by setting lofty goals that are impractical, if not impossible to reach (eg lose 30 pounds in 3 months, going from totally sedentary and injury-prone to crushing my first OCR, etc), when I inevitably fall short it simply reinforces that I am only capable of mediocrity. So I can justify settling for less than perfect and don't have to risk the hurt of trying and failing at something bigger that I'm actually invested in; I just don't even try because past experience shows I suck at everything. This has been a hot topic at my therapy sessions recently. 

 

On 8/31/2016 at 8:55 AM, RES said:

I have not done, nor even signed up for, a Spartan...so you've totally lapped me sitting on the couch over here  

*joins you in the corner...

You know what's ridiculous? I was saying this exact fucking thing to the girl who joined us. We skipped an obstacle and hung out in the shade while Sylvaa and NTB crushed it, and she was so upset about struggling with everything and disappointed because she'd been training for it and all that. And I was literally telling her to shut the fuck up because there are people who haven't and won't ever even consider doing it and she was already a badass for being there. But of course I am a hypocrite and none of that applies to me. 

 

On 8/31/2016 at 2:13 PM, Jarric said:

It sucks that you don't feel proud of yourself, but I think I speak for everyone here when I say I'm damn proud of you! That was a hard thing to do and you kicked arse!

 

It's a tough thing to do, and I'm certainly no expert at it, but try be happy about the things you did achieve, rather than focusing on the mythical ways in which you could have done more.

Thanks dude. I'll get there one day. 

 

On 8/31/2016 at 2:15 PM, NeverThatBored said:

I think the trick is in how you think of the relationship between "I want to do better" and "I did perfectly well at this thing." You can feel both at the same time! It's totally ok. Just because you know there's room for improvement doesn't mean you have to feel bad about your current performance. 

 

You know you could have done better on a test, and maybe you really really want to do better, but that doesn't mean there was anything wrong with how you performed. You know you could have trained more or done more on the course if you weren't injured, but that doesn't mean that there was anything wrong with your performance either. One thing does not negate the other. 

This got a thumbs up from my therapist, FYI. Keeping it in mind.

 

On 8/31/2016 at 2:52 PM, Severine said:

In all seriousness, Flea, you kicked ass at the Spartan. You showed up despite injury and setbacks that would have made many people lose their nerve. You walked a sensible line between pushing yourself and being smart about not exacerbating injury. You completed a race that included a significant number of impressive and challenging feats, and you had fun with awesome people. It wasn't exactly how you originally planned it, but it's laudable and impressive and it gives you something to build on if you ever want to do another one. You proved to yourself that you can accomplish goals even when life throws a bunch of wrenches into your plans. You're adaptable and more resilient than you think. And you have turned yourself into a person who can start sentences with, "Back when I ran a Spartan..."

<3

[fleaball]

So rereading all of those posts in order to reply to them didn't make me tear up. At all. You're imagining it.

 

Apparently I'm not quite as disenchanted with OCRs as I thought? Between money and timing I can't make Fenway work (seriously someone hit me if I talk about doing it because I really really shouldn't) and @Sylvaa asked if we wanted to do a Beast Super (the 8-10 mile Spartan) at the end of the month and I really can't do that one right now, but I am honestly disappointed about both. I mean realistically it took me days to recover from a < 5mi race and I can't prepare for double that distance in 3 weeks... but part of me wants to. And Fenway sounds incredible but I've currently got class 3 of the 5 weekends preceeding it and will need time off to regain my sanity. Blerrrrrrgh. 

 

Roommate informed me that there's an indoor public pool that's free and open year round and an easy ride on the metro from where I'll be interning. I'm a little mad I didn't know about its existence before but I can't be too upset because it's just enough of a pain to get there from home that I doubt I would've made an effort to go anyway. But I'm glad there's an option now. 

 

I'm still considering the idea of a half marathon. Which is a terrible, terrible idea. But also because I'm spiteful I'm like, "well my dickhead neighbor ran it, I should do it and do it faster than him." No. Bad Flea. Stop. The thing is I'd have to start training like, now. Which I should be doing anyway because of the 5k in November. But it feels like a compressed timeline and is scary. And also doesn't leave room for injury; it's one thing to limp through a 5k if necessary, it'd be something completely different to limp through 21k. :\

 

Blerrrrrrgh there are so many things I need to do and it's almost bedtime.

[Owlet]

8 hours ago, fleaball said:

Knee-jerk reaction, of course, is that it's all my own fault and I could be doing exciting things if I only did XYZ or whatever. But I'm just going to ignore my brain on that front for now.

Nah, from experience, if there's something getting you down (or making you underwhelmed) then you won't find exciting things exciting anyway. Not that you shouldn't try and do fun things, just that you don't need to blame yourself for not wanting to rush off and go skydiving or whatever. I guess try and work out what's holding you back, address that, and then you'll naturally want to do more stuff. Sounds so easy, right?  =P I should try listening to myself.

 

8 hours ago, fleaball said:

It's likely a consequence of where I live, but everyone is all about politics and running 57 miles before work in the morning and craft beer, and most of the girls are like "message me about intersectional feminism and overthrowing the patriarchy!"

Jesus, shoot me. No wonder you're not interested! Pretentious much? Ugh. Girls around here aren't soo bad, but most of the guys are just showing off about what a gym bro they are and all the animals they've shot. 

 

8 hours ago, fleaball said:

 

"I'd end up dying alone in a sea of cats" You have a way with words, my friend. This is quite a picture.

Maybe I should paint it lol. My flatmates already think I have a problem though 'cause I'm always looking at cute cat photos. 

 

8 hours ago, fleaball said:

You know what's ridiculous? I was saying this exact fucking thing to the girl who joined us. We skipped an obstacle and hung out in the shade while Sylvaa and NTB crushed it, and she was so upset about struggling with everything and disappointed because she'd been training for it and all that. And I was literally telling her to shut the fuck up because there are people who haven't and won't ever even consider doing it and she was already a badass for being there. But of course I am a hypocrite and none of that applies to me. 

Haha, awesome. Well at least now you see what's going on here =P 

[Sylvaa]

To be fair, I only mentioned the SUPER, not the Beast (does that make it any better?)...  

 

Also, I hate that I don't live closer! I totally want access to an indoor year-round pool!

 

First of all, I'm super glad that you totally want to try another OCR! 

 

Second, I totally get the "my brain thinks it can do all the things, but my body is like - nope!" mentality. I am totally there with you! If you figure out the secret, let me know.

 

Third, I would totally do the Rock and Roll Half Marathon with you if that is what you are looking at.

[fleaball]

3 hours ago, Owlet said:

Nah, from experience, if there's something getting you down (or making you underwhelmed) then you won't find exciting things exciting anyway. Not that you shouldn't try and do fun things, just that you don't need to blame yourself for not wanting to rush off and go skydiving or whatever. I guess try and work out what's holding you back, address that, and then you'll naturally want to do more stuff. Sounds so easy, right?  =P I should try listening to myself.

 

Jesus, shoot me. No wonder you're not interested! Pretentious much? Ugh. Girls around here aren't soo bad, but most of the guys are just showing off about what a gym bro they are and all the animals they've shot. 

 

Maybe I should paint it lol. My flatmates already think I have a problem though 'cause I'm always looking at cute cat photos. 

 

Haha, awesome. Well at least now you see what's going on here =P 

Hmm. I will have to think about that stuff. Obviously anxiety has a hand in not wanting to do new things but yeah there's got to be something else lurking. Thanks. 

 

Hahaha #DClife man. It's ridiculous. I haven't seen too many hunting photos but holding up a large fish you caught seems to be a requirement around here. 

 

Yesssss. All the cats. 

 

2 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

To be fair, I only mentioned the SUPER, not the Beast (does that make it any better?)...  

 

Also, I hate that I don't live closer! I totally want access to an indoor year-round pool!

 

First of all, I'm super glad that you totally want to try another OCR! 

 

Second, I totally get the "my brain thinks it can do all the things, but my body is like - nope!" mentality. I am totally there with you! If you figure out the secret, let me know.

 

Third, I would totally do the Rock and Roll Half Marathon with you if that is what you are looking at.

...words are hard. At least I got the distance right lol. And hey you can totally drive two hours each way to use the pool. That's reasonable right?

 

haha it's weird. It's like, it's not a decision I would make on my own/I wouldn't actively seek one out, but if someone proposes it I am apparently reluctant to turn it down. Which is weird but okay. 

 

I'm still leaning toward a padded hamster ball tbh. It might be the only safe place in the world. 

 

Goddammit stop enabling me! lol I want to do it, I just don't know if I should. The price goes up on the 15th, so I'll make a decision before then, I guess? 

 

 

Hey @Talos how was training for RnR last winter? I feel like I will chicken out in the cold.

[Dagger]

13 hours ago, fleaball said:

Ugh. Emotional balance. So overrated. I think my issue with it is that I sabotage myself: by setting lofty goals that are impractical, if not impossible to reach (eg lose 30 pounds in 3 months, going from totally sedentary and injury-prone to crushing my first OCR, etc), when I inevitably fall short it simply reinforces that I am only capable of mediocrity. So I can justify settling for less than perfect and don't have to risk the hurt of trying and failing at something bigger that I'm actually invested in; I just don't even try because past experience shows I suck at everything. This has been a hot topic at my therapy sessions recently. 

I was (still am???) a sufferer of this too. I'd set grand goals and set a start day and the start day would roll around and I'd be "eeeeh... I'll start tomorrow?"

 

Guess who started tomorrow?

 

...

 

Not me.

 

When I finally managed to convince myself to start with small steps (May this year), I've actually done pretty good from then. (Wow, I said that without recrimination. Where the hell is the old me? (I bet I'll be back to normal in 3... 2... 1...)

 

What cinched it for me was the way Steve talked about it in his book and emails, how a fitness guy like himself made it sound like a completely normal and acceptable idea to just start with a 5 minute walk. Every other beginner program I've bought (underpants gnome I am) have assumed I could just start and exercise 3 times per week like I had the discipline, mental energy, will power and discipline and will power and discipline to do that. Did I mention discipline and will power?

 

Sure, his emails then tried to tell me to start strength train with a bodyweight workout and I happily ignored him, because he'd already showed the way.

 

Find any damn way that works for you to get to the result you want. Right now it seems to be to deal with anxiety, school and internships. And from my point of view, it seems you are doing alright. I'd have already melted into a puddle, but if you have a paddle, you could cross me!

[fleaball]

Told a friend I'm considering running a half in March. Her response: "what the fuck flea. Why do you do this to yourself?" So basically the same questions I've been asking myself lol. 

 

@Dagger I feel you on the underpants thing. It's a struggle. Some day I will sort out what I really want from life and manage to work toward it. 

[NeverThatBored]

2 minutes ago, fleaball said:

Told a friend I'm considering running a half in March. Her response: "what the fuck flea. Why do you do this to yourself?" So basically the same questions I've been asking myself lol. 

 

I think that kind of reaction just means you're doing something cool.

[fleaball]

1 minute ago, NeverThatBored said:

 

I think that kind of reaction just means you're doing something cool.

Your opinion on the matter is not to be trusted since you're just as crazy as I am, if not more so.

[NeverThatBored]

4 minutes ago, fleaball said:

Your opinion on the matter is not to be trusted since you're just as crazy as I am, if not more so.

 

You say crazy, I say super cool.

 

[Talos]

6 hours ago, fleaball said:

Hey @Talos how was training for RnR last winter? I feel like I will chicken out in the cold.

 

3 hours ago, fleaball said:

Told a friend I'm considering running a half in March. Her response: "what the fuck flea. Why do you do this to yourself?" So basically the same questions I've been asking myself lol. 

 

That kind of response is always a good sign you're on to something fun.

 

I honestly didn't find it to be that bad - I actually enjoy running more in the winter because you warm up so much on long runs. Unless it got below freezing during my run (which never really happened on my training days), I was pretty comfortable and had a lot of fun checking out the DC scenery. 

 

It was certainly a challenge for being the first race I did at that length, but it was a great time in general. And I got to take a picture with a guy in a panda suit.

[fleaball]

44 minutes ago, Talos said:

 

 

That kind of response is always a good sign you're on to something fun.

 

I honestly didn't find it to be that bad - I actually enjoy running more in the winter because you warm up so much on long runs. Unless it got below freezing during my run (which never really happened on my training days), I was pretty comfortable and had a lot of fun checking out the DC scenery. 

 

It was certainly a challenge for being the first race I did at that length, but it was a great time in general. And I got to take a picture with a guy in a panda suit.

Damn. I was hoping you'd tell me it was terrible and I should never do it. (Okay not really. But still.)

 

So someone in my cohort has been telling everyone I'm injured again, which I find hilarious. And I don't know where they're getting their information. But I was just telling a friend I'm registered for that 5k and considering the half and she was like "I didn't know you were into running!" I didn't either, so there's that. =P

[Talos]

20 minutes ago, fleaball said:

Damn. I was hoping you'd tell me it was terrible and I should never do it. (Okay not really. But still.)

 

So someone in my cohort has been telling everyone I'm injured again, which I find hilarious. And I don't know where they're getting their information. But I was just telling a friend I'm registered for that 5k and considering the half and she was like "I didn't know you were into running!" I didn't either, so there's that. =P

 

If you're looking for someone to keep you from doing crazy stuff, I'm a terrible guy for the job. I only draw the line at permanent or otherwise serious bodily harm. Usually.

 

I identify with that last bit. I still can't think of myself as a runner.

[fleaball]

2 hours ago, Talos said:

 

If you're looking for someone to keep you from doing crazy stuff, I'm a terrible guy for the job. I only draw the line at permanent or otherwise serious bodily harm. Usually.

 

I identify with that last bit. I still can't think of myself as a runner.

Didn't you post on FB recently-ish looking for people to do an OCR with you or something? I'm pretty sure I considered it before thinking better of it. I also think "being a runner" is some kind of weird nebulous thing. I see a lot of people who run all the time saying they're not a runner. Which really, if you're not then who the hell is?

 

 

Ha. i asked another friend who's done a few halfs (that hurt to write) to tell me it was terrible and I shouldn't do it, and she said she wouldn't. I said I needed new friends because no one will discourage me and she said no, those are the friends you keep. And it's so funny the way this is happening. Obviously there's a bit of a bias with this being a fitness website and all, but everyone here has been all "yeah do it!" and this one girl is the exception to literally everyone else I've mentioned it to being like "what the fuck why?" Funny how that's working out. 

 

I'm running out of reasons not to do it. Shit.

[Sylvaa]

2 hours ago, Talos said:

 

If you're looking for someone to keep you from doing crazy stuff, I'm a terrible guy for the job. I only draw the line at permanent or otherwise serious bodily harm. Usually.

 

I identify with that last bit. I still can't think of myself as a runner.

 

You are my kind of person.

 

Also, true story: I got lectured by a marathoner once (I work with him, super cool guy) because I said, "I'm not a runner." He said, if you put on shoes and run, you are a runner. This guy ran in the Boston Marathon and he told me (at the time, I could only run a mile) that I'm not allowed to say I'm not a runner.

[NeverThatBored]

2 minutes ago, Sylvaa said:

 

Also, true story: I got lectured by a marathoner once (I work with him, super cool guy) because I said, "I'm not a runner." He said, if you put on shoes and run, you are a runner. This guy ran in the Boston Marathon and he told me (at the time, I could only run a mile) that I'm not allowed to say I'm not a runner.

 

I love people like that. In High School I commented to a friend (a soccer player) that I wasn't particularly athletic because I suck at sports and she scolded me! She said I worked hard and lifted weight in fitness class and that was as much a form of altheticism as being good at sports. I was surprised because I had never thought of it like that, but I've never forgotten it. 

[fleaball]

Ugh the pill is a lie. I am still mopey and anxious and an unproductive human being who's PMSing. I mean, I didn't actually expect it to cure things, but I realized while taking tonight's pill that it's about that time again. I spent 4 hours in bed this morning after waking up (well past when I should have woken up) because I just couldn't be bothered to start my day. I finally got my ass in gear around 2:30pm. It's pretty sad. And honestly I have done almost nothing today. I tried to trick myself into doing a few small things and building momentum for the bigger stuff, but several of those smaller things wound up pinging my anxiety so it turned out to be counterproductive and I ran to youtube instead. :\ 

 

I forgot what else I was going to complain about because it's been at least two hours since I wrote the above paragraph. Whee. I did realize this morning that I think the reason I keep signing up for shit is simply because people are telling me not to? NF excluded, obviously. But whenever I brought up the Spartan even before I did it people were like "wtf are you insane?" and I get basically the same reactions now that I've mentioned the half to people. And I'm wondering if maybe I should chill out and not sign up the half until I'm sure I won't break an ankle again and can come up with a slightly better reason that "why not?" There's nothing wrong with "why not" in general but at this point if I'm only doing it because of others' reactions that might not be the best reason. 

 

It's 10 pm. I still have several emails to send, still haven't started the homework for my class tomorrow, and still haven't done my assignments for therapy in 13 hours fml. (Why yes, I did post basically the same thing in my challenge thread last night. Shocking.)

 

ps @Owlet I spent like an hour and a half trying to figure out whether or not to get vision insurance earlier so I totally feel your pain. x.x

[Owlet]

9 minutes ago, fleaball said:

 

ps @Owlet I spent like an hour and a half trying to figure out whether or not to get vision insurance earlier so I totally feel your pain. x.x

JC, there's a separate insurance for vision? Ugh. When will it stop. 

 

9 minutes ago, fleaball said:

Ugh the pill is a lie. I am still mopey and anxious and an unproductive human being who's PMSing. I mean, I didn't actually expect it to cure things, but I realized while taking tonight's pill that it's about that time again.

I forget, was there other stuff it was meant to help with? PCOS? I guess t was worth a try, and at the very least you know exactly when the sharks are going to attack when you're on the pill. I liked having less periods before, but I don't miss never having a clue when it would happen. 

 

What the hell is with your friends/acquaintances? They really need to be more like NF people, gosh. Interesting observation though. Friend of mine is like that, just has this instinct to rebel against people's expectations, constantly, whether she likes it or not lol. Useful sometimes but can be a bit counterproductive. As for the half... short answer is I dunno. On the one hand I want to say just chill, get through the intern etc and re-access where you're at then rather than loading more pressure onto yourself now. But then I've also been told that once you can run say 10k the rest is just a mind game - physically you can most likely do a half, you just have to not let your brain think it's cool to give up. So I guess my advice is focus on the 5k for now and take it from there.

 

Now do your homework =P

[fleaball]

8 minutes ago, Owlet said:

JC, there's a separate insurance for vision? Ugh. When will it stop. 

 

I forget, was there other stuff it was meant to help with? PCOS? I guess t was worth a try, and at the very least you know exactly when the sharks are going to attack when you're on the pill. I liked having less periods before, but I don't miss never having a clue when it would happen. 

 

What the hell is with your friends/acquaintances? They really need to be more like NF people, gosh. Interesting observation though. Friend of mine is like that, just has this instinct to rebel against people's expectations, constantly, whether she likes it or not lol. Useful sometimes but can be a bit counterproductive. As for the half... short answer is I dunno. On the one hand I want to say just chill, get through the intern etc and re-access where you're at then rather than loading more pressure onto yourself now. But then I've also been told that once you can run say 10k the rest is just a mind game - physically you can most likely do a half, you just have to not let your brain think it's cool to give up. So I guess my advice is focus on the 5k for now and take it from there.

 

Now do your homework =P

I think it depends on the plan. When I was on my parents' insurance it was included in everything? But seriously insurance in the US is a clusterfuck on the best day so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

haha yeah the actual point of being on the pill for me is to deal with the PCOS. It just so happens that the kind I'm on is also usually prescribed for PMDD, which is sort of like PMS on steroids? Where PMS-related anxiety/depression/other things go into overdrive? I doubt I have it, but I was thinking "hey maybe I won't go batshit for a week this time!" Could be that it's too soon for it to do anything as I've not even been on it for 3 weeks. But it's only recently that I'd really made the connection between feeling extra anxious and getting my period (fun side effect of not being regular - no way to track PMS!) so I had crossed my fingers. Ah well. 

 

lol Very few people have like, actively discouraged me from it. (Mostly just the two I complain about most often. Go figure!) From everyone else it's more just "...but why? that's a long way to run?" I should mention that no one I know is particularly active either so that probably makes a difference. Although huh, for as not-really-active as I am, it's interesting that my mindset is still like "fuck yeah I'm going to do this crazy thing that no one else wants to do!" Hmmmm. As for the half, I think I might wait. Survive the 5k and see if I can get a routine started. And then maybe sign up for it if registration hasn't closed by November? I'll keep thinking about it.

 

Ugh. Homework. x_x I'm about to just fire off one last email ("dear financial aid folks, you fucked up, please give me my money") and head to bed. I've got a long enough commute that I can speed read. Or just cry about homework lol.

[Owlet]

2 minutes ago, fleaball said:

haha yeah the actual point of being on the pill for me is to deal with the PCOS. It just so happens that the kind I'm on is also usually prescribed for PMDD, which is sort of like PMS on steroids? Where PMS-related anxiety/depression/other things go into overdrive? I doubt I have it, but I was thinking "hey maybe I won't go batshit for a week this time!

Ahh yup that makes sense. I've got no idea how quickly these things take affect but fingers crossed it still helps. 

 

3 minutes ago, fleaball said:

for as not-really-active as I am, it's interesting that my mindset is still like "fuck yeah I'm going to do this crazy thing that no one else wants to do!"

Haha well I think this is an awesome mindset, please don't ever lose it. People with this kind of mindset end up doing amazing things that everyone else just dreams of (or doesn't, but admires none-the-less.)