The story behind your username

[Red1263]

2 hours ago, Haikoo said:

Haikoo began in my EQ2 days. It started with my love of words and poetry. I had a series of alts that were all named after various types of poetry and poetry related words. Haikoo was the first. I just randomly decided I wanted to spell it Haikoo instead of Haiku  and it stuck It became my main for SWTOR and also my main handle on everything after. Nerd Fitness sealed the deal. I basically just BECAME Koo. Nerds even call me that in person.  It's been so many years now, I don't think I could ever change it.

So long as you don't become Akoo, we're all good!

 

 

[AwkwardOwl]

My spirit animal is an owl and I am awkward and clumsy -- hence the username awkwardowl. 

[Haikoo]

9 hours ago, Red1263 said:

So long as you don't become Akoo, we're all good!

 

 

@AKLulu still calls me Akoo

[RobPeriod]

Several jobs ago I had a boss who actually said, "If you are not ONE OF US you are against us.".

 

A short time later, I joined a Matrix forum (pre-Reloaded), and One of us "morphed" (HAHA, get it, Morphed) into O'Neofus. Sounded Matrix-y.

 

It has been kicking around in my head, but I rarely have used it, until now.

[Anim07734]

I started playing DnD in middle school and started DMing (creating and running games) shortly after.  As part of creating the games, my brother and I started building our own world to set them in.  When we got to the pantheon, I snuck in a Mary Sue character; a god who wasn't really a god, but choose to serve as one to protect the world and the life it harbored.  He embodied my spiritual and philosophical ideals, including a constant search for balance and harmony among competing, but necessary, goals and desires.  As he was going to be the hidden, true God of Death (as opposed to the visible evil goddess of death and undeath), I chose the name "Anim," Latin for life in the context of motion, sometimes translated to soul.  Both the world and the character have been through many iterations over the years (with another coming as we convert to 5E), but Anim has always been the secret guide and protector, someone who does whatever is required to fulfill his chosen duty and shuns any recognition for it.

 

When I moved across the country between middle and high school in the late-90's, I created my first online account to keep in touch and Anim was the name I chose.  The "07734" was added to ensure that I always got the same username.  It's one of my favorite numbers, because when typed into a calculator and flipped upside down it says "hello."  Just don't forget the decimal. 

 

It's not the only online handle I've used, but this name fits especially well here, as I strive to become the ideal Anim represents.

[Fenyx]

As a current DM, and long term D&D player, who has spent countless hours planning and creating entirely new systems, I love this. I uh may need to collaborate with you sometime lol.

 

The biggest campaign we finished I created a world in which no one could die, which sounds wonderful, until you burn to ash and feel every iota of it from spark to entirely reforming bone, muscle, and nerves lol. Had some interesting evolutions as well involving a sort of meta-human theme that included mental abilities all the way to evolving more animalistic features. Was pretty awesome to play through after the time put in to shift stats and explain it all whew.

 

Anywaaaays lol I thoroughly enjoy your "Origin Story"@Anim07734

[MightyMacTap]

It's the name of my youtube channel. I want to be know as mighty. Mac is short for marcus and tap is the half of my last name 

[Guzzi]

5 hours ago, MightyMacTap said:

It's the name of my youtube channel. I want to be know as mighty. Mac is short for marcus and tap is the half of my last name 

 

Cool! What do you do on your YouTube channel?

[Cataleya]

Cataleya was an assassin. I am an assassin.

[Red1263]

On 3/2/2017 at 0:47 PM, Cataleya said:

Cataleya was an assassin. I am an assassin.

Where is that from?

 

@Anim07734 For the longest time, I had no idea the numbers were "hello" upside down >.<

[Cataleya]

2 hours ago, Red1263 said:

Where is that from?

Colombiana. 

 

 

[Vendettaressa]

Because Zoe Saldana is amazing!!! <3333333333

[Vendettaressa]

So my main roleplaying character was Vala Vende, angel of revenge, for many years. She died when a sorceror mind-controlled her triceratops mount and killed her with it. Ressanori was basically my self-insertion into the world to take care of Thrieby (the triceratops). Eventually, given family circumstances over several years worsening, I ended up using my anger and bitterness to obliterate things in video games. I was still Ressa, but I was angry and powerful, like Ressa possessed by Vende. So my name gradually started changing to Vendettaressa everywhere I played battle games. It's basically become a "word of power".

[WantMy$2]

There was this guy Lane who refused to pay for the paper I was delivering. Four weeks, twenty papers, that's two dollars. Plus tip.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seriously though I always use it as a log in and I couldn't change it here until I hit so many posts...have not changed it yet.

[Red1263]

So my main roleplaying character was Vala Vende, angel of revenge, for many years. She died when a sorceror mind-controlled her triceratops mount and killed her with it. Ressanori was basically my self-insertion into the world to take care of Thrieby (the triceratops). Eventually, given family circumstances over several years worsening, I ended up using my anger and bitterness to obliterate things in video games. I was still Ressa, but I was angry and powerful, like Ressa possessed by Vende. So my name gradually started changing to Vendettaressa everywhere I played battle games. It's basically become a "word of power". [emoji14]

 

I thought your actual name was Teresa and you had a vendetta, but then looking at it over the "taressa" part was spelt differently.

 

sent from my phone whilst exploring new dungeons

 

 

[Trixie Falsae]

3 hours ago, WantMy$2 said:

 

 

Seriously though I always use it as a log in and I couldn't change it here until I hit so many posts...have not changed it yet.

Now That's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good user name like that.

[MightyMacTap]

On 3/2/2017 at 7:08 AM, Guzzi said:

 

Cool! What do you do on your YouTube channel?

 

I mostly upload my editing exercises from class. I have Ideas for other videos but I don't have The equipment. one day tho 

[WolfDreamer]

I love wolves. The wolf is my totem, so... Wolfen just sounded good. I also use Wolfdreamer a lot as a username, but my gaming name is usually Wolfen or McWolfen if that's not available.

 

[Fenyx]

I love wolves. The wolf is my totem, so... Wolfen just sounded good. I also use Wolfdreamer a lot as a username, but my gaming name is usually Wolfen or McWolfen if that's not available.

 

 

Also a lover of wolves , my husbands family owned a huge husky that was named wolfen and I just love the name.

[WolfDreamer]

34 minutes ago, Fenyx said:

my husbands family owned a huge husky that was named wolfen and I just love the name.

 

Thank you! I dream of owning a husky, but I live in a mobile home and not a lot of space for running around.

[Fenyx]

 

Thank you! I dream of owning a husky, but I live in a mobile home and not a lot of space for running around.

 

Oh they need it too, crazy zoomies must have space lol. We have one now, also a larger version, and when he gets zipping through the house it is chaos. Hilarious chaos. pretty accurate face to describe the breed right there lol

[Teros]

Mine is an origin story, actually.

 

I grew up hating myself and there were two types of escapism for me: video games and junk food.  I started playing games on the original NES (Excitebike, Rampage, Mario, Startropic, etc).  When the consoles had name gamesaves, I hated that I would put 'mike'.  It didn't feel epic enough.  One day when I was around 7 or 8, I wanted something strong sounding.  Something badass.  I came up with: Teros.  From then on, all of my gamesaves would be Teros.  When I got involved with RPGs, I always made a character named Teros.  It became my account names, my email, everything.  As I grew older and dealt with Borderline Personality Disorder, anxiety, depression, and extreme social awkwardness; the concept of escapism and Teros evolved. 

 

See, when I play a game, I wasn't the fat ugly self-depreciating loser that I was in real life.  I was the hero.  I started thinking differently.  "Teros wouldn't give up on the boss."  "Teros would beat this on Hard difficulty."  "Teros wouldn't run away from a fight."

 

This bled into real life.  I felt my entire life that I was of two minds: 1) who I was hammered into being through "friends" (heavy quotes there), family, teachers, church, whatever.  I was the 'forced' person (Mike).  2) was the person I looked up to and wanted to be (Teros).  "Teros wouldn't take shit like this from people."

 

I got into an enmeshed toxic relationship which was emotionally abusive and lasted years and years.  Coupled with how I was a perfectionist and never treated like I mattered by my mom (single parent household), I fell deeper and deeper.  I ballooned up, weighing at my heaviest 360 pounds.  I remember getting on the scale and thinking, "I'm like an Xbox" and then promptly tearing up while still standing on the scale.

 

When I found NF because I was desperate to lose weight again, I learned about paleo.  New account name?  Obviously Teros.  Then I made an RPG accountability group where I wrote story.  I made a ton of friends on here.  And I realized that on *this* forum, I was able to act like Teros....not Mike.  A couple years passed and my enmeshed toxic relationship, which was already strained, became moreso - since people on NF were giving me support and love that I never actually got anywhere else.  This put the emotional stranglehold my g/f had on me at odds with the forum-users. 

 

I started losing weight. I wasn't able to do pushups at all, but I could lean against the wall. I did that. Then incline pushups on the desk. Then lower. Then lower.  Until regular pushups which took over a year to do.  I lost a good chunk of weight and then ran a Spartan race, tried my damndest for about 4 hours and I got 3/4 through it.  I was broken.  I felt defeated and I didn't even want to come back on here.  The amount of love and support from people was overwhelming.  There was a fund that people wanted to contribute to to send me to the first year of camp NF.  I respectfully declined because I couldn't accept the money.  There was another spartan race and I hesitated to try it again.

 

"Teros wouldn't give up."

 

I decided I would try again and one person from the forum said they would run it with me.  Then another. Then another.  Eventually there was a group of people that were inspired enough to run a spartan race.  People from all over the country showed up.  I....was falling in love with a girl on NF as well, who said she would make the trip and root for me.

 

I ran the race - the current emotionally abusive g/f sitting right next to the girl that was beyond supportive of me.  I ran it with other people from NF.

 

I beat it.  "Teros did it."  That weekend, I felt like I found my second family.  My real connection.  And what was boiling up inside of me for a while (the conflict of my reality of 'Mike' vs my ideal of 'Teros') was clashing.  After that weekend, I knew that, despite having rejection and abandonment issues (all part of Borderline), I told my g/f of 12. fucking. years. that I couldn't do this anymore.  I ended things.  I spiraled into a massive depression.  That weekend of the Spartan race was like me being Icarus- I flew too close to the sun; and now I was crashing because I wasn't with my 2nd family anymore.  A similar spiral situation happened to a few of the NF group as well.

 

Fast-forward past 9 grueling months, my ex finally moves out.  And the girl I fell in love with?  She was with someone already and became a disaster over not knowing how to choose me or him.  She chose the guy that didn't want to go anywhere or do anything with her, and who rejected her sexually.  She chose to play it safe.  She chose wrong.

 

I faded from NF for a while in my depression.  My ex was gone.  The girl I loved was gone.  All I had were memories.  Painful memories of MIKE.

 

So, I did the only thing I could possibly do:  I burned it all to the ground.  Literally.  I sorted through about 18 blue containers and I went through everything.  Books. Comics. Clothes.  Papers. Cards. CDs. DVDs. Games.  ALL of it.  I took the couches that I didn't want (one was my ex's and wouldn't fit into her new place, the other was one I slept on for months because I didn't want to be in the same room as her after we split).  I piled it all up and at 3am, I set it all on fire.  Flames shot 20 feet in the air and almost caught a nearby tree on fire so I had to douse the flame to control it a bit.  But in the end, I burned it.  There was a little bit of stuff that I donated as well.

 

I swore on that day that I would never bend over backwards for someone, like I had done my entire life to everyone else.  Bend too much and eventually, you break.  I was better. I deserved better. So I would make better.  A major step happened:  I fully embraced being Teros, the ideal that I looked up to my whole life.  I started that funeral pyre for Mike and rose through the ashes like a phoenix.  I dubbed my path forward as 'The Phoenix Project', with a list of things that I was going to get done.

 

I got accepted into school to get my master's degree in social work.  I cut my hair and beard that I had grown out for three years.  I got dreadlocks.  I built a table and a bookshelf.  I painted and purged more.  I got my first piercing.  I got my first tattoo.  I went to camp NF and socialized with 300 people.  I kept losing weight and working on myself.  I started taking martial arts classes.

 

To date, I am down 110+ pounds (360->240s), go weekly to my 'batman lessons', and am going for an interview for an internship in two weeks - working with the homeless.  That's the tip of the iceberg.  There's much much more that I want and need to do, but I swear on my life that I will become my ideal.  I will be Teros.

 

That's how I got my name.

[Fenyx]

@Teros

 

First, I would like to say that I love following your portions of the story in the play by post, so I'll be honest and say I was pretty stoked to read the true origin story.

 

Second, I could say things about how abuse tears us up inside and out and how clawing out of it can be almost as destructive, but you being here shows that you probably know that all too well.

 

Third, you, my good sir, are a badass. Seems like you didn't so much "become" Teros as you simply allowed yourself to be who you were underneath the painted insecurities of yourself and others.

 

After all that, your origin story is highly inspirational and gives me a lot of hope for the future. Probably sounds weird, but I note similarities and find satisfaction in seeing you emerge from the ashes . Here's to you, and here's to sending our old selves out on that pyre, because that's what surviving Vikings do. And here's to following along on your epic journey, here and in the play by post!

[Johan Ema]

Its a long and profound story how my nick came to be.

 

Are you ready?

 

Its my name.

[Red1263]

Its a long and profound story how my nick came to be.

 

Are you ready?

 

Its my name.

*plays dramatic music*

 

DUN DUNNNNNN!!!!

 

sent from my phone whilst exploring new dungeons