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Hello friends. This challenge I am focussing on some goals which are a little more Druid than Ranger. Given that I have friends here and am used to the Ranger way, I hope that I am still welcome despite that… I am focusing on building my mental armor, backing myself and keeping myself safe. Affirmations, to reinforce my brain, “I am a strong and resilient person. I am a good worker. Toxicity will not change who I am”. Freggies, medicine, and vitamins reinforce my body and will keep me strong and healthy. Yoga will keep me flexible as well as giving me time outside if the weather is nice. My habitat impacts my mental health directly, as such I will spend ten minutes a day following the UFYH suggestions, I will also water my plants every day, I need more green in my life. Weekly I will do my readings for my management class to ensure I maintain my distinction average. Twice within the challenge I will be paid, and I will continue to pay down our debts, if I can squeeze out some extra cash from can collection etc I will roll it through to extra debt reduction. Summary of Goals: Daily: - Affirmation - 5 a day freggies -Meditation or yoga 5mins (outside if possible) - UFYH 10mins - Water the plants - Medicine and vitamins Weekly or one-offs: - Pay down debt (2 paydays in challenge, bonus from cans/other cash influx) - MGMT969 readings on Sunday Let' s do dis.

So things have been pretty rough the last few months. and need some focus and accountability. My only goal is to do 1 thing each day to either help physically or mentally. I know vague but I need that right now, need some wins. Some examples are: drink at least 64 oz of water do 1-2 PT exercises no sugar for a day Count calories

Hello All, I'm excited to part of the rebellion! Why I am here? I'm looking for my online parttyyy for fitness adventures and support TBH, I also want somewhere to record my fitness journey! I'm a 32 year old RN (right now very part time hospice studying for my IBCLC) and mom of a little bug (just turned one!). I led an active pregnancy and have maintained my activity levels somewhat in this last hectic year full of life changes and, to be honest, piles o' stress. I ran cross county and track in high school. I've done yoga for years but mostly for the mental/emotional benefits. I started lifting weights about three years ago and really enjoy it. I follow the monthly Strong by Bret (Contreras... yes, the king of bottoms! highly recommend) program. I'm a big fan of the at home workout as well and generally go to the gym 3x/week but have been skipping days lately. I'm 5'8, 138 pounds currently. Right now, I am up about 15 pounds from before I started lifting and was very thin and about 8 pounds up from where I was when I was more muscular. I'd like to get my muscle back and feel good in my body. I've been making a lot of changes to get my mind in a good place and I know going through my body also helps that too from past experience. I'm someone who really needs to sweat to get to a place to feel good. I used to have the goal of looking like a character of mine from Skyrim but don't know how realistic that is? My tangible quest: weight lift consistently w/ progressive overload. Increase my hip thrust by 20 pounds w/in a month (currently 3x 10 @ 135). Increase 3 rep max for squat to 145 over next month while mainting good form. Go on runs w/ my family x2/week. Diet wise, vegetarian w/ meat eating family so I'm always down to find meat recipes. I'd like to get more serious about meal prepping. Can't figure out my class? When I played D&D with my brother growing up I always wanted to be a Ranger/Bard but I am a nurse and nurturer... so my adult self= healer?? Non fitness interests: I play the harp (but not as much as I would like!), making at home beauty products, fantasy novels, LOTR, cooking, baking, deep history, cults, archeology, Russia, watching tiny home videos on youtube OH! AND we are building a small house ourselves right now! Not a tiny house because it won't move but the same size! My life goals right now are to live the hobbit life. I've decided my vision board is basically Hobbiton w/ a little Rivendell thrown in there for spice and hotnessss

I have mental health ... things. They are generally no big deal, have been well-controlled and unobtrusive for many many years and now all of a sudden - they aren't. Symptoms: I cry, uncontrollably, at really insignificant triggers, usually related to fitness/weight (e.g I miss a lift, I gain a pound, I look in the mirror and see body fat that I haven't noticed before) I cry in public, which I have never been prone to in the past. I have random occasional anxiety symptoms - difficult breathing, chest tightness, hyper alertness - when there is no threat or possibility of threat present. A return to prior levels of my AD/HD behaviors: lack of productivity, hyperfocus on entertainments (especially really dumb games on my phone - I can lose hours), task-jumping Most likely explanations: This is just plain ol' depression, which is well known for popping up randomly at times in my life where there are no problems, significant stressors, or reasons for being sad at all -or- Menopause hormones are the devil. I've never had emotional problems with PMS or anything before, but this "woman in her 50s" business is a whole new world. Additional evidence for this being age/season of life related - I have cut calories, upped cardio, been accountable to an excellent nutrition coach for every bite of food I have consumed for three months, and I can't lose an OUNCE. I've struggled with my weight and body fat before, but I've always been able to lose it pretty easily once I got up the gumption to make the food changes. Now, the things that have always worked ain't working, not a bit. The immediate plan to make my current Wonderland more wonderful is: Ask the Cheshire Cat: (a.k.a. get solid advice from reliable sources) More confessions - I'm terrified of medical doctors. Surgeons, physical therapists, chiropractors, dentists - all fine. But any kind of doctor who might try to pressure me to take some kind of pharmaceutical treatment more aggressive than Excedrin terrifies me. But I need the help, so at some point I have to find a few bouts of 20SOC to: 1) Find a therapist. I'm pretty sure I need to talk to someone about my resurfacing body image issues and emotional outbursts, before I go back down the ED rabbit hole 2) Find a general practitioner who can order bloodwork, so I can make sure that this isn't my thyroid or something else physical Hone my Vorpal Sword I don't want to lose all of the strength I have fought so hard for over the past year, so 3) keep showing up at the gym 3x/wk 4) add bar hangs on non gym days at least 2x/wk. Growing and Shrinking 5) continue tracking 6) hit at least 110g protein/day Guiding quote: "I can't go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then."

Antidepressants and unhealthy habits have pretty much put my libido in a Saharan pit, so, hey guys, here's a super fun challenge. Of course, this being a public forum, I'll be working hard to keep it to innuendo and limit the juicy details. Food: - track on MFP every day - 10 points for every day without sugar - 10 points for every healthy meal - better hydrate... 10 points for every bottle of water consumed. - limit to 1 diet coke a day Brain: - read at least 30 minutes before bed every night House: - clean for 30 minutes every day as soon as I get home from work - 10 points for cleaning in lingerie Relationship (this was hard to make into smart goals because it involves more than one other person's needs and schedules): - 10 points for going out on a date - 10 points for hanging out together doing stuff other than watching TV - 50 points if I finish reading The Book about poly stuff even though it is dense and dull - 100 points if I you know what with the you know who in the you know where Exercise: - yoga on rest days to be sexy and flexy - 50 squats a day - darebee workout program for amazonian sex goddess warrior body - 10 points for every swim in the school pool Loot - 50 points: facial - 100 points: massage - 150 points: dinner at Brown House - 200 points: dinner at Patty's -250 points: free pass day

"Merry, Merry," Annyshay shook him gently. She was on the edge of throwing the remnants of his own ale in his face, but he shook his head and seemed to snap out of it. "I'm not ready to talk about them yet," Merry breathed. Annyshay had never seen Merry scared. Ever. She was quite inclined to trust his judgment here as ever, "whatever you say, cousin. Drink your ale." "Yes, quite." After a few more swigs on both sides, Merry's face lit up a bit. "You may have noticed some... changes, since our return," he began by way of introduction. Annyshay was noncommittal in her response, "mmmhmmm." "Well, I imagine the four of us riding in on ponies in armor covered in insignia and other marks not before seen in the Shire was quite the spectacle," Merry continued to fish for a reaction, but Annyshay just held his gaze. "In any case, I'm sure it was obvious pretty quickly that Pippin and I were the only two hobbits of our party that had grown taller in addition to thinner." "My first thought was certainly that you all needed at least a week of home cooking before you would be fit for pleasant company. Your bones were sticking out all over the place!" "Surely you noticed that I grew," Merry threatened a pout, "me and Pippin that is?" "It may have crossed a few people's lips, aye" Annyshay conceded. "Well that is as good a story as any to show how different things can be outside of the Shire," Merry prattled onwards. "Indeed if I manage to tell it right it should come back around to the ash and my concerns that something is amiss in the Old Forest." Annyshay took a noisy slurp from the end of her pint. Merry, ever the good host returned to the barman to get a half pint for each of them. Annyshay raised her smaller glass and Merry reciprocated the gesture before taking a large swig and settling himself in to spin a good yarn. "You see, Annyshay," Merry continued to preamble, "this story is all to do with Ents." "Ents?" Annyshay assumed that Merry's thinner frame made it more difficult for him to hold his ale however tall he may have grown. "What in Middle Earth is Ents?" "First off," Merry put down his glass and became his old self for a moment. He was clearly confident in whatever story he was about to unfold and thought that it was something Annyshay best pay attention to. His whole appearance reminded her of many previous lectures. "An Ent is a who, not a what." "A who?" Annyshay nearly choked on her beer. "Now you're really pulling my leg." "By the Master's wine cellars," Merry responded solemnly, "there are many creatures you've not heard of here even from Bree." Annyshay just stared at him, unsure what to ask next to get to the meat of the tale. "Yes, Ents," Merry pressed on fortified with more ale. "Ents are the Shepherds of the Trees. Probably the oldest creatures in Middle Earth, except maybe Tom." "Is Tom a what then?" Annyshay scoffed. "Your ale's gone to your head Merry. Talking nonsense, you are." "No no no," Merry waved her protests away. "Just listen to me. All will become clear in due course." "Well, you're stringing me along something awful," Annyshay protested. "Get on to the tale, ya scamp!" "A skeptical audience, I see. Well, all the better," Merry took a bit more liquid sustenance before he finally got down to business. "To really understand this story, you must be patient, cousin. There's a lot you have to learn Annyshay - concerning Ents."

Lightsaber skills Create a routine for staff containing the tricks I already know plus at least 2 new tricks to learn this challenge. Routine should be around 20 mins including warm up. (probably will be lots of video and bloopers this challenge) Why it's a challenge: Honestly, picking up my staff and playing with it is not really a challenge. I truly love it. However, the challenge lies more in the time management. I am THE WORST™ at time management. I have to structure my morning better to accomodate a 20 minute session and still get everything ready for work and get out the door with pants on and stuff. Why I want to do it anyway: STAFF!! And having more time to practice each day means faster progress. Find Jedi Calm Find two favorite meditations and do them every day, one in the morning and one at night. Why it's a challenge: See time management above. I don't have a solid grasp on how time works. I wake up with 10 minutes before I have to leave and I somehow think i'm gonna workout, meditate, cook breakfast, sit and eat breakfast, bullet journal, reflect on the day, pack for work, pack for after-work activities, and get there on time??? Why I want to do it anyway: Its good for my brain and my old therapist said i should LOL. Plus, you know, I'm gonna be a jedi someday so. Gotta practice. Get friggin' Flexy Using GMB's focused flexibility and some specific stretches my coaches gave me for my sad pathetic shoulder mobility, create a routine and stretch EVERY SINGLE DAY. STRETCH ALL THE DAYS. Why it's a challenge: I'm so, so, so not flexy and I hate stretching and I don'tttt wannnaaa doooo ittttttt Why I want to do it anyway: Big serious reason is injury prevention. The last two times I got wow-maybe-i-should-see-a-doctor hurt, it was because I pulled a muscle that would have been FINE if I wasn't a solid. And both times i went "that's it i'm streching every day now" and didn't. Less serious and fun reason, back handsprings!!! Re-create Spend at least 1 hour per day, or 7 cumulative hours in a week, doing something with no purpose. (ideas include, reading fiction, maybe drawing, playing video games (i haven't don this since i was a child) watching hockey without feel like i have to multitask.) Why it's a challenge: I WANT TO DO ALL THE THINGS!!!! As evidenced most recently by this challenge. I feel like i've "wasted my day" if i don't do something super productive every single minute. If I sit and continue to watch TV for 2 minutes after I've finished eating, I feel insta-guilty. Waste of 2 minutes. Could have been reading a textbook. Could have been doing a handstand. Could have been conjucating russian verbs. I jam-pack my days until i'm so over stressed that I crash, and then when i'm crashing doing nothing, I'm hating myself because i'm wasting time being unable to move. Why I want to do it anyway: If I get to be 75 and I speak all 12 of my target languages and i've mastered algebraic topology and non-relativistic quantum mechanics and i've fixed all the plumbing issues in all my neighbors houses and fixed everyone's laptop who asked and was all these things to all people, but I hated every minute of it?? NEver enjoyed my life? That's a fail. I need to do something purely enjoyable. Be a kid again. Come home and play for a bit before doing productive things.

My next challenge is going to be solely focused on spiritual / emotional / mental health. Quick recap from my last challenge thread: competed at ballroom dance nationals the last week of last challenge, and the results were disastrous and way below expectations going in. The week also brought to the surface some ugly demons I need to face around my motivations for dance and the sustainability of current arrangements in my dance partnership, which are leaving a lot of options currently on the table, many of them quite scary because I don't like change. I already had identified spiritual / mental / emotional health as a place I wanted to invest more effort, but recent events have made that seem especially important, so...focus of this challenge. Why am I blurring all those types of health together? I'm gonna be tackling this area of my health in four parts: Lay the foundation: Schedule 8 hours for sleep, every night. I have an easier time with adversity when I'm well-rested. Begin each day on the right foot: Morning Qi Gong flow (or my poor approximation of it), at least 5 deep breaths every day while my coffee's brewing and toast is toasting Reflect and be grateful: Daily Examen every evening (common Jesuit prayer going over the events of the day, what I'm grateful for, and where I could've acted with more patience) Don't go it alone: Keep having monthly anxiety coaching calls (free through work), try out online therapy option at least once (also through work) I'll still be in the Warriors, because I like all y'all. In the background, I'll also still be cutting and working out - though I'm going to be fully giving the weights a break and shortening my morning training time because in parallel with attempting to reframe my dance motivations, I'm also going to carve out additional practice time so that I have more time for deliberate practice in my week. Now my leg strengthening work is going to be 2 15-minute-ish circuits of bodyweight work per week; am I likely to lose some strength? Probably, but that's ok since it's not a target attribute for my sport, really.

THE SILVER ARCHER: BOOK II Chapter 3: Boundary Defense Mistral was standing by the window, absorbed in reading a thick stack of documents, when I walked into her office and softly closed the door behind me. "I'm sorry to be a bit late, Mistral. I left my training as soon as I received your message." She glanced up and waved a hand at her desk. "It's all right. Sit down." As I sat down in the chair, she tossed the papers onto the desk in front of me. "Titus has let me know that there is some kind of infiltration campaign going on here in the Temple. It seems the Dark Elf is trying to recruit some of our archers and warriors into his forces, using a variety of seduction and coercion techniques. He is still incorporeal, as far as we know, so we don't know yet whether he is visiting them himself or sending agents, and we don't know whether he has infiltrated Temple Island or is contacting people out in the town. What we do know is that a small number of students and even teachers have already left, and others have reported considering leaving as well. None of them will say how they were contacted. We suspect they have been threatened." I frowned at the stack of papers, which were personnel files. "Are these the students who have left?" "Yes." Some of them were names I recognized, and my stomach sank. Why was the Dark Elf trying to build his army? What was he planning? A moment later, I realized why Mistral had summoned me, and I closed my eyes in a grimace just before she said, "I need your help to track him down and drive him away from the Island." I had not told Mistral or anyone else that the Dark Elf's presence had been very close with me for many weeks hence - usually he hovered just outside my consciousness, a chilly detachment from my tasks and a quiet apathy. But the week that Mistral had left to visit another training temple on the mainland, he had appeared in my room one night as I was sitting at my desk, catching up on some reading - I spun around with a gasp when I felt his icy fingers trail down my cheek, and he was standing behind me, gazing down at me with a face that filled me with revulsion at its mixture of hatred and desire. "Get away from me," I cried without thinking, bolting up so fast the chair hit the ground, hands raised to block my face. "Get out of my room!" He raised his eyebrows gracefully and took a step backward, the sweep of his frozen garments swishing like softly falling snow across the floor as he unfolded to his long, slender height. He wore a long sky-blue robe and white jewel-studded cape that swirled lightly across his thin shoulders and arms, and a simple, frosty circlet rested on his snowy white brow. He spread his palms in a defenseless gesture. "Now, Sky. Haven't you killed me enough times already? Won't you consent to talk for a change?" I reached behind me for the sword propped in the corner, but when my hand connected with the handle, a shock like ice water shot up my arm and I had to drop it. "Silly girl," he murmured, beginning to move across the floor. True panic burst in my stomach and I leaped onto my pallet, pressing my palms against the wall to be ready to leap off in any direction; but I could barely breathe as he paused on the other side of the room and looked steadily at me with a slightly injured air. "I'm here to protect you, Sky. You're in great danger and I'm here to help you escape." I stared at him as those foreign words jangled like alarms in my head. "You're what?" "I know things you don't, and I can see things that you can't. You are in terrible danger that I alone can see. You must come with me now. Your life is at stake." Why was I even listening to him? Why was I beginning to hesitate under the strangely earnest gaze of his blue eyes? "I - don't believe you," I spat, spinning to one side to snatch up my bow and quiver and fit an arrow to the bowstring in one swift movement. I aimed directly at his forehead and fired - but to my horror, the arrow passed right through his incorporeal frame and ricocheted off the wall behind him, narrowly missing my own head in its return flight. His face split in a wide, beautiful smile that stunned me so my hands went slack. His face almost shone, like the moon just rising on a wintry night. His eyes sparkled like starlight on a snowy path. "Ah, Eldarwen," he sighed, shaking his head, "how little you still know me. What could we be if you would only learn to trust me?" But with only one swift step, he had lunged across the room and his hand closed cruelly around my throat, slamming me so hard against the wall that I saw stars. Ice shot through my veins and he leaned close to my face, all the merriment replaced by deep, total hatred. I could feel his cool breath against my cheek as he leaned close and pressed his glassy forehead against mine - and a terror unlike any I had ever known spread from that contact point throughout my body, paralyzing me, convulsing me into a blind panic that screamed for escape and safety. "You will come with me," he breathed against my face. I gagged and clawed at his merciless iron hand on my throat. "You are mine, Eldarwen. The time is here at last. Together we will rise." Darkness was closing around the edges of my vision and I could see nothing but his blue eyes piercing mine, controlling me, forcing my consciousness of the room and any other thought out of my mind. He was here for me. He would carry me away where he would - away from whatever danger he saw. If I did what he said, he would release me from the terror exploding down my spine with every half-choked breath. I never heard the sound that made him spin to look over his shoulder and release his hold on my throat, but he heard something in the hall and turned quickly to look, letting me go. I collapsed onto the pallet bed, violently sucking in air and scrabbling off the other side to crash onto the floor. "Get out," I gagged, for the first time remembering that the injuries on my hands were probably healed enough that I could throw my powers again. Still gasping and retching, I got up on one knee and crossed my wrists in front of me, opening my scarred palms toward him and praying to summon up the white-hot light from deep within. I felt it begin to glow deep in my belly and I lifted my gaze to his, all his hatred replaced with dread - but when I tried to throw the heat across at him, it only exploded from one hand; and the blow glanced off his shoulder. He grabbed his wound with a cry and ran toward the window, where he threw one baleful, curled-lip gaze at me before melting away into the night, leaving a trail of silvery blood-drops behind. He was gone. But as I sagged against the bed, all the ice and panic still coursed through my veins, leaving me shivering and sobbing in pain on the floor. Yes, he was gone, but I did not feel victorious. I looked down at my palms - the left one still glowed with the residual heat of my healing powers; the right one, the more severely injured one, was cold, and blue frost filled the white scar across it. For a long moment, abject despair and helplessness swirled up in me. How could I ever become a Protector if I still couldn't defend myself against the Dark Elf's attacks? How could I be trusted to lead others and heal them when my own injuries still left me vulnerable? Was he right after all - was I doomed to be chained to him for the rest of my life, unable to predict when he would appear, unable to do anything but impotently try to ward off his increasingly aggressive attacks? But as I looked down at my two hands - the one glowing and warm, the other still bearing fresh scars, and now marred even more by the frost filling its lines - a vague inspiration struck me. Taking a deep breath, I pressed my two palms together. And sure enough, the healing warmth from my left hand flowed across into my right, and the frost began to melt. The Dark Elf is not part of me and he does not define me, I whispered to myself, breathing deeply as the power of the King circled slowly through my shivering body, relaxing my clenched muscles and slowly warming me to life again. I do not belong to him, and I did not give in to him. I am the Silver Archer, the Arrow-Healer. Those titles were given to me and I have claimed them. I was chosen to be a Protector, and I know that my King and my teachers will teach me how to be ready for that day when it comes. The Dark Elf cannot stop me from achieving my destiny, and I will not live in fear of him, because I learn each time he attacks how better to stop him. My scars make me stronger - someday when I am a leader, I will be ready to defend my followers from his attacks because I've seen them all. And I refuse to believe his lies that I am less worthy because I am doomed to fight him. Worthiness is irrelevant - excellence, faith, determination, hope, and love are essential. I will fight his lies with truth, I will defend myself from his anger and hatred with love and light, and I will protect others from his pride and greed with humility and hope. In Mistral's office, I slowly opened my eyes and looked up into her face, quietly nodding and taking up the task I knew was mine to complete. "I will do whatever it takes to defend this place and these walls. This is our home. He has no place here."

I warn you all now, and trust me this is a serious warning, not for effect. This is not going to be a happy or particularly fun challenge. I’m dealing with some pretty heavy mental demons right now, and my thread may well end up being my place to vent. Sorry. It’s just what I feel needs to happen right now. This challenge is going to hurt. It’s going to hurt because I need to be 100% brutally honest with myself and I am going to need to delve deep into my mind to hopefully find some healing. See, right now my biggest battle is with anxiety, and the way it consumes me over the most bizarre, and sometimes smallest, things. Counselling seems to have left me in a half-way stage; I know a fair chunk of the why, but not the how to defeat it. And I’ve written and deleted this at least a dozen times, but the theme of this challenge is 100% honesty. With myself, first and foremost, but it feels like I’d be defeating the purpose if I held back one of the key reasons why this honest inwards searching is needed. I’ve spoilered the heavy stuff, so no one has to read it if they don’t want to. But I will probably be talking about it openly on my thread in the weeks to come. I am so sorry if I offend anyone, or it makes you uncomfortable. Trust me, it is not my intention. I’m just through with hiding it now, and for various reasons I still have to hide this from people I love, namely my parents. For different reasons, but the effect is the same. But here goes. I know it’s not really a normal challenge topic. But anxiety is slowly suffocating me, and so this challenge won’t follow a normal format. Yes, I’ll post about my fitness and nutrition and check in on those. But they are mere side-quests. The main objective in this cycle is to regain control of my mind. How? Well, first off I need to spend some time in there. My head, I mean. Goal 1: Meditate a minimum of 10 minutes a day. - I downloaded a meditation app called Headspace that gives me a free trial before committing. I commit to using this app every single day, and at the end either subscribing or finding something that feels like a better fit. Goal 2: Guided Meditation at least 3 times a week - This will be anxiety specific, or something that will help me move on from the events of the past to where I want and need to be. Goal 3: Read books on the topic of anxiety and dealing with unwanted thoughts, or books about the subject spoilered above. Set aside some time in my day for this 5 days a week. - I have one on my kindle already, and I’ll search around for recommendations for others that can help. Knowledge is power. Goal 4: Do something recreational, every day. 1 chapter of a (non goal 3 type) book, 1 film, or 1 TV show. - I love reading, but I hardly ever read anymore, and I have a hard time focusing on books. Same with films and TV programmes. I might love the series, but struggle to make it past the opening 5 minutes. If I make myself turn it on at all. I need to break this cycle, because I really want to rekindle that love for stories again. It’s probably why I also stopped writing. Now, these are just starting blocks. I realise that I will very likely need to talk to an actual therapist in the near-ish future. But to me, the self-help therapy is going to be just as important as if and when I talk to a professional about this. Fitness and Nutrition: The side quests 1. Work out 5 – 6 times week. 3 of these will be BMF, at least one will be a run, hopefully two, and the other a lifting day. I’d like to lift more, but I’d need more days in the week for that. Though given the mini, I may make one of these days a ruck day as needed 2. Follow a meal plan, and cut down the junk I’ve let this get sloppy again. But a healthy mind needs healthy fuel. I need to stop eating crap at work, too. It may be too much to ask myself to count macros at the moment, but focusing on what I put in my mouth cannot be a bad thing.

So I created an account and character sheet and that was meant to get my life back under control right? Well what use is a character sheet if you don't have quests to improve it on? and what use a sword unless its taken care of. So here I am, offering myself up to the internet gods to try and get some accountability into my goals and take control of my life back from binge watching tv, eating crap food and generally doing everything in my ability to be the person I don't like. My plan is to post here my wins, my losses, my doubts and my slip ups and hopefully I'll find the will power to keep going no matter how dark this dungeon gets. So below are my goals for the year and the posts after are me tracking my way towards them. Be grateful 2/52 I take alot of things for granted without taking time to really think about it or admire it, I'm head down and deal with the next mob to come my way. This is my way of stopping to smell the roses. Stand up and be counted 11/361 I want to post here every day for the rest of the year. I give up far too easily, momentum creates progress stopping creates inertia and its far harder to get started then it is to stop, so if I don't stop I don't have to get started again. Improve my stats Below I'm going to create my own character sheet (using D'N'D 3.5 as a basis) and I hope to improve my stats by the end of the year. I don't have a solid target on this as first I need to work out where I'm starting. I do know that I want to get to my body weight (80kg) in dead lift, bench press and squat. That may be an easy target or a hard target, I honestly don't know at this point. Tome of Knowledge 0/30 By the end of the year I'd like to have 30 books under my belt. Fiction, Non-Fiction, books I've read 10 times and books I've never seen, and if I can manage it I'd like to share this quest with my children. Go with the flow 7/156 In order to improve my will power I must exercise my mind as much as my body and thus meditation is my exercise of choice. With that in mind I am aiming for 3 times a week. I feel like if I can build this habit it will make all challenges slightly easier like getting a permanent buff. Water the Lilly Yes I'm sure this sounds suss but far from it. I know that I get so focused on the mundane things in life, money, house work, work that I don't give my partner or my kids the attention that they deserve. So this quest doesn't have a number, it doesn't have a list, it is an open ended quest to show the important people in my life how much they mean to me. Not in just the big ways, but the small ways, the occasional bunch of flowers (Lilies being the favourite flower in this instance), the impromptu game night and so on. So there we have it, no grey beard giving me quests but something more fulfilling I hope. And while there are other side quests that I will need to complete throughout the year after much thought its these that I know I want to do for me, I want to complete these not to cover rent, not to keep my job, but to improve me.

Mae govannen! My name is Thanneth Stormdancer of Laketown (not the famous one, a different town on a lake) and I'm excited to be posting in the Rebel forum for the first time! This is my second challenge. The first... didn't go very well. But gosh darn it I'm going to get back up again. Profanity-less Hercules Mulligan reference. Some stuff about me: I'm an amateur scholar of Tolkein specializing in Numenorean lore and the history of the Dunedain. I'm also interested in rock climbing, hiking/skiing depending on the season, acrobatics, cooking, and qigong. I read more than I play video games, and my favorite genres (to read and write) are fantasy and science fiction or any combination thereof. For a while now I've been fighting disordered eating patterns and some associated depression and I'm starting to get fed up, thinking that this isn't me and that I should never have lost control in the first place. I don't want that for me anymore. My first attempt made no permanent changes to me or my lifestyle, but I'm glad for the opportunity to try again. I hope I can learn to rely on new people instead of trying to maintain brittle resolutions and deprivation. I based my challenge on LoTR and the three ages of Middle Earth, and put it into a document which I made to prepare myself for running a full Tough Mudder in September. I'm no longer entering in the race itself, but I like the training style and still want to complete it. This challenge is designed to facilitate that completion. This is the first "age" (January thru March). The Ring of Barahir need not be an actual thing, it just symbolizes achievement and inheritance. __________________________________________________________________ First Age January: Just do it, 30 min exercise everyday, or stretching/footwork for rest. Reach lvl 4 Paleo by April 1 [track calories and food 2 weeks January, I’ve already reduced liquid calories, replace grains with proteins like eggs, bacon, omelettes, whey protein smoothies and fruit/vegetables for 2 weeks and now its Feb. Level 5 Vegetables > Carbs Meditate every day as tracked with Habitica Log onto Habitica and Nerd Fitness everyday I can rank up to LEVEL 5 when: I consume a vegetable with every lunch or every dinner, replacing a normal carbohydrate or starch, for 10 total days in a 2 week period, and I go one week without eating pasta. Instead of french fries, I order broccoli. Instead of white bread, I’m eating asparagus. Feb. Just focus on having fun and keeping enthusiasm and engagement high, working out maybe with friends (Grace?) and learning some gymnastics. Activate Level 5. Play Mass Effect: Andromeda after a really hard workout Be aware that to receive the Ring of Barahir I need to have exercised or stretched for the past 40 days straight, one for each year he spent in the wild. This starts Feb 19. Level 5: No Pasta, No Sweets I have a pretty good grasp about what’s healthy food and what’s not. I’m a smart person and I have made a few key changes to how I attack my daily nutrition. Liquid calories have been removed for a while now. I now crave water as much as I used to soda! Soda water with a lime wedge for the win! For at least 6 days a week, I am no longer eating pasta, bagels, muffins, or other empty calories. Candy and sweets are a VERY rare occasion. AKA ordering dessert after dinner is a treat once every two or three weeks (instead of nightly). Every meal has a quality protein source, and every meal has a vegetable. I’m still eating things like rice, potatoes, and some bread (though I’m cutting back on those things in favor of more protein or vegetables in some cases). I can rank up to LEVEL 6 when: I have gone 12 out of 14 days without eating bread OR pasta, and 12 out of 14 days with a vegetable in at least 2 meals per day. March: Make March the Month of Good Eatin’ and recognize that I’ll feel and look so much happier and more confident when I follow my desire to be healthy and full of Ranger vitality. Reach lvl 4 Paleo by April 1 [track calories and food 2 weeks January, I’ve already reduced liquid calories, replace grains with proteins like eggs, bacon, omelettes, whey protein smoothies and fruit/vegetables for 2 weeks and now its Feb. Level 5 Vegetables > Carbs Aragorn born March 1st Buy a pull-up bar First Trimester Goals: Level Up! Reach level 5 Level 5: No Pasta, No Sweets I have a pretty good grasp about what’s healthy food and what’s not. I’m a smart person and I have made a few key changes to how I attack my daily nutrition. Liquid calories have been removed for a while now. I now crave water as much as I used to soda! Soda water with a lime wedge for the win! For at least 6 days a week, I am no longer eating pasta, bagels, muffins, or other empty calories.Candy and sweets are a VERY rare occasion. AKA ordering dessert after dinner is a treat once every two or three weeks (instead of nightly). Every meal has a quality protein source, and every meal has a vegetable. I’m still eating things like rice, potatoes, and some bread (though I’m cutting back on those things in favor of more protein or vegetables in some cases). I can rank up to LEVEL 6 when: I have gone 12 out of 14 days without eating bread OR pasta, and 12 out of 14 days with a vegetable in at least 2 meals per day. Do my first unassisted pull-up Pull-up progression https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/do-a-pull-up/ Have gotten 30 minutes of exercise or stretching for the past consecutive 40 days (one day for every year that Aragorn spent being rangery in the Wild). x2 in the 1st and 2nd week complete the Beginner's Bodyweight routine, x3 in the 4th, x3 plus one session interval training in the fifth. Finish eating by 9pm. x2 in 1st week, x3 for the 2nd, x4, x5 etc..., x6 for the 5th week Use CSS planner to manage day to day. Meditate every day for 5 minutes. Add five minutes every week until 20 minutes. Study 10 minutes every day, add 10 minutes each week.

Ahhh, it's been a while... a long while since I've been around here, but thank you @Knightwatch for continually reminding me that we've got this. All of us, together. The Theme of the Year You heard it. OF THE YEAR. Because this one is going to take time. The theme - my theme - softness. Softness in truths, softness in feelings, softness in acceptance, softness in love, softness in femininity and sexuality. This is the kind of softness that’s defined as being easy to mold; lacks sharp definition. Coming into a challenge with the theme of softness makes me laugh a bit because, heh, yes — I’m going to be soft with my goals too (and if my body get softer, that’s ok too!). This theme is one that took quite a bit of soul searching and competes quite a bit with my generally rigid personality. The theme itself is a goal in a lot of ways. I will be (read: need to be) gentle and forgiving to myself. I exhaust myself into anxiety and sadness, striving for perfection that… really exists only in my own mind. So, here I am getting real with myself, with you all. Thank you for embarking on this journey with me. THE FIRST ONE! Woo! The Goals We’re keeping it basic and we’re sticking to little effort in planning much of this on my own. I’m already in the early stages of a couple of programs and my goals are nothing more than to check them off on the daily 1. Darebee - Iron Born program, 30 days. These are mostly strength-based quick workouts at 30 mins or less. Most days I’ve added to them because the hardest part about working out sometimes is just starting… once I’ve started, it’s fun and I like how I feel so obvi, I keep going. GOAL: complete at least what the program outlines. GOALplus: complete what the program outlines + make it harder/do it faster/add something that compliments it (HIIT, bigger lifts, BW burnout) 2. TRUE - 30 Day Yoga Journey, Yoga with Adriene. GOAL: complete the daily session GOALplus: complete the daily session + hang out with a pose that feels good for a bit or meditate/breathe/be present in my body 3. Bouldering GOAL: make it to the bouldering gym 2-3x/week. Literally, step foot in there and do whatever serves me — lift, boulder, stretch, take a class, etc. (social anxiety generally keeps me comfy at home). GOALplus: talk to someone beside my husband (compliment, ask a question, ask for help, etc.) The Life Stuff Goals No food/meal shaming. No hating myself for eating XYZ. If I have these feelings, excellent — I must pull out my journal and get it all out. What led to it, what I’m feeling, what steps I might do next time, but no thoughts that I’m a mess up (again). Be present as fuck in my relationship. There’s a lot there to unpack. No details… just I’m committed to my partner and being all that I can for us. *** That's it! Keeping it simple this time around. Excited to be back and see what all of you are up to with your own journeys

THE SKY VOYAGER Part I: Strange New Worlds I was writing the concluding paragraph of my weekly report when my comm badge buzzed and interrupted my thoughts. "Ensign Elvenword to the bridge, please." To the bridge? I froze and stared at my screen, my fingers motionless over the keys. That sounded like Lieutenant Tuvok, the chief of security! Me to the bridge? What for? I was only a junior-grade ensign on my first mission - what was I needed for on the bridge? "Ensign Elvenword, please respond." I jumped and slapped my badge. "Yes sir - on my way, sir!" My heart raced as I fumbled into my uniform jacket and paused at the mirror to adjust my tightly braided hair with trembling fingers. I had been stuck with the rest of the crew on Voyager for almost a year after we were flung into the Delta Quadrant by the Caretaker, but my position as a communications intern - later upgraded to "assistant science communications officer," which meant I was responsible for proofreading and compiling the science officers' weekly reports into an archived brief - never brought me into direct contact with the bridge crew. During the last six months, I had been independently studying Starfleet Academy language materials from the computer database and practicing speaking in the holodeck, in hopes of being allowed to go on an away mission someday; but I had not told anyone besides my roommates about my work - had one of them mentioned it to a bridge officer? The ride up to the bridge felt exceptionally long - until the turbolift glided to a stop and the doors opened up into the brightly lit space. There was Lieutenant Tuvok at the security station, silhouetted by dozens of brightly colored lights and buttons, and Ensign Kim at Operations; and down in front, I could see the backs of Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay's heads as they looked at a small star system out the massive viewscreen - so much larger than I imagined it! Everything smelled like heat and metal, but it was not hot, only very bright; and every officer's face was composed, focused, and occupied. Lieutenant Tuvok glanced up as I hesitated at the open doors, his fingers never stopping their graceful, efficient movements over the touchscreen. "Ensign, it does not take fifteen minutes to make your way from your quarters to the bridge," he stated, more of a factual observation than a rebuke. I hesitated, uncertain how to respond. "Yes, sir," I finally said lamely. "Did you wish to see me?" "Yes." He moved aside from his station and gestured for me to join him. I squared my shoulders and tried to look confident as I strode across the open space (feeling very small) and climbed the small step up to the security station. "Ensign, the next part of our journey will bring us into contact with several diverse alien cultures," Tuvok said, his voice measured and matter-of-fact. "The captain has asked me to select an additional crew member to function as an assistant on our diplomatic missions, preferably someone with exceptional interpersonal communication skills and combat experience. I have reviewed your performance during the rescue mission aboard the U.S.S. Ranger as a Starfleet cadet, and found it exemplary. I have also reviewed your progress studying the Academy language curriculum on your own, which indicates that you have initiative and a desire to expand your current role, which you have performed punctually and accurately for the past eleven months. Although you lack the Starfleet experience that some of your older crewmates possess, I believe you have promise, and that the training and experience you will receive as a diplomatic adjutant would enhance your career significantly once we return to the Alpha Quadrant." He raised an eyebrow. "Does this opportunity interest you?" I fought to keep my face from betraying the scream of joy that was bubbling up in my stomach. "Yes sir, it interests me greatly. What would I have to do to get started?" Tuvok reached under the console and handed me a PADD. "I have constructed a plan of study for you to continue your language studies, using additional data on Delta Quadrant species that you do not have access to in the Academy database. These lessons include language, culture, and protocol components. Additionally, I have arranged weekly meetings with five senior officers, to familiarize you with bridge and away mission protocol. Each of them will likely have additional training assignments for you to complete. You will continue your weekly duties as science communications assistant, but you will also be assigned a duty station on the bridge, which you will be expected to man whenever you are summoned, day or night." "Yes sir. Will I be further instructed on my duties at my new station?" "Yes. After one month, you will meet with the captain, and she will assess your readiness to assume your new duties. At that time, you will be officially designated a Diplomatic Adjutant and instructed in the duties of your new station." I took the PADD and stood as tall as I could. "I understand. I will begin my studies as soon as I complete my weekly report." Tuvok nodded gracefully and turned back to his station. "Very good. The five officers assigned to be your mentors will contact you to schedule your weekly meetings - their names are listed in your first lesson. Please see me or one of them if you have additional questions. You are dismissed." "Yes sir." As I stepped off the station platform and walked back toward the turbolift, I snuck a small peek over my shoulder at the captain's chair - and my heart missed a beat when I met Captain Janeway's eyes, already turned in my direction. Her stern face cracked into a slight smile and she nodded briefly. "We look forward to seeing you on the bridge, Ensign," she called across the room, her voice businesslike but pleasant. "Study hard and I'll see you in a few weeks." Dear Dad and Mom, I wrote in my letter that evening. Today was quite possibly the biggest day of my life - I have been chosen for promotion! After only a year out of the Academy! Can you believe it? I was summoned to the bridge this afternoon by Lieutenant Tuvok - yes, I finally got to see the bridge and the bridge crew! It was amazing! - and he said that the officers were looking for an assistant to specialize in diplomacy and language, to accompany them on away missions as a Diplomatic Adjutant. Because I've been studying languages on my own for the last few months, and because he read about my work on the USS Ranger, I was chosen! Over more than a hundred other people! What it means is that I will be given extra homework by five of the senior officers, in order to get ready - my weekly mentors will be Neelix, Lieutenant Tuvok, the Doctor and Kes, and Commander Chakotay; and once a month, I will also meet with Captain Janeway, to keep her informed on my progress. I don't know any of the bridge officers personally, but one of my roommates spent a couple of months as a navigational assistant on the bridge, and she has told me lots of stories about all of them, so I think I have an idea what to expect. When I was on the bridge, I tried to sense their emotions, but I'm not as good at that as you are, Mom. They all mostly just seemed busy and focused. When the captain greeted me she did seem sincere, though - I have so much admiration for her and I want her to be pleased with my work. As I may have mentioned once or twice, I hope one day to be a starship captain just like her. I love you both and miss you more than I can say. I heard a rumor today that some of the new species we'll be meeting soon might be able to help us get home faster ... I tried not to listen, of course, but of course I did anyway. I hope my new job won't take up so much time that I can't write to you every day - but even if it does, I'll keep good logs of everything I do, so I can tell you all my wonderful stories of data entry and report-writing when I get home. Maybe spiced up with a few alien encounters now and then, I hope. Talk to you soon. Lots of love, Sky

Wrestling with Saidin 12/24 - Last week of 531 12/31 - Overload volume 1/7 - Low volume high weight 1/14 - Meet 1/21 - PHUL Week 1 1/28 - Whining about PHUL Week 1 Courting the Yellow Ajah Foam rolling - Daily Chiropractic - Weekly Writing - Daily Sleeping - 49 hours weekly

I think it would be a great idea to start a mental health section on the forums. I see plenty of rebels tagging their challenges and battle logs with "mental health," but not having a central place to discuss it and share helpful articles, books, and personal insights about these issues. It would also be a great idea to make a survey monkey on both the forums and the fb academy to get a sense of what mental health topics are a big concern to our fellow rebels and they would like to be discussed.

Greeting fellow rebels and new recruits! (I know the new challenge doesn't start until the new year, but why not start early? Besides, life is a continuous challenge and you can't exactly put that on hold.) A little bit about me: (sorry for everyone using tapatalk and unable to have spoilers hide the spoilers) As my title says, I am on a journey for self-knowledge. I decided to go down this rabbit hole after listening to an internet video from the school of life titled "The Dangers of Thinking Too Much; And Thinking Too Little." A certain passage really stuck out to me since I personally relate to it and the illustrated person in that little excerpt looks like my internal self. Here's the blurb: we deploy knowledge and ideas that carry indubitable prestige to stand guard against the emergence of more humble, but essential knowledge from our emotional past. we bury our personal stories beneath an avalanche of expertise. the possibility of a deeply consequential intimate inquiry is deliberately left to seem feeble and superfluous next to the supposedly grander task of [insert [insert pompous topic] I'm not sure if it's the posh accent or the large words, but it really struck close to home. I listen to too many podcasts about the past and present social world. And I listen to those at work when it's too quiet at work and I'm too afraid to be left with my thoughts. So this time I'm going to face these inner thoughts head on instead of filling it with non-self-knowledge. Also, I'm really disappointed in the forums lack of mental health section. I notice a lot of rebel mention the words "mental health," but there's no general place within the forum to turn to. I've looked up the phrase in quotations and gone through most of the topics and did the same. Either I completely overlooked it or there's nothing really here. Both of which is a shame. I'm going to be seriously editing my quests before the new years so these are just a rough draft: I'm completely leaving out the phrasing of "goals" since that means an end and physical and mental health are continuous processes. It's not like some master cleanse where you diet for 4 weeks and go straight back to old habits. Quest 1: Nutrition I'm going back to the smoothie drinking since I already know how to make a bomb drink, it's easier to eat than my normal meal prep lunches, and it's faster to consume so there's more time for me to do other things at work like journal prompts or reading a book. no bread or sweets no fast food track food on MFP Quest 2: Workout Last year I was really into my workouts. I really liked the 7-minute workout even though it turned into more of a 28-minute workout with the storyline quests. And the Fit for Battle app was super great at helping me build up my stamina. As much as I want to go to a gym it would be bad timing since the new year is starting Walk dog at least 5 times a week get step count in daily Quest 3: Mental health Maybe I'll start writing journal prompts so I can map those inner thoughts and find those patterns. Or maybe I'll do something with my bullet journal. Or just read a book or online article mention it here and write about how I can apply that to myself or my mental health routine if I can ever settle on one and repeat it long enough to call it one. journal prompt x5 weekly meditate for 5 minutes unlock the hidden mystery that is the counselor Quest 4: Level Up Your Life I'm going to practice Spanish every day and met my exp quota.

“This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.” Winston Churchill “Ends and beginnings - there are no such things. There are only middles.” In the Home Stretch - Robert Frost ================= This year I’m fully embracing the battlemage archetype in order to better pursue my two main quests: Re-enter university, and this time be fully prepared for it. Build race fitness, create a body that can handle anything thrown at it. But we can’t just leap right in and start swinging swords and throwing fire about the place. No, this battlemage is tired and beaten and completely out of motivation. I’ve been working to build discipline, and so far progress has been questionable as during the last challenge I didn’t have a clear idea of just what it was I was striving towards. I haven’t really had any clear idea of where I was going for a while now. But that has changed. I know where I’m going. I may not know quite how to get there, but I know how to start, and I know that as I go on the next step of my path will become clearer to me. I am a person who has a routine to improve her mental health and help build discipline. I am a person who tracks her food intake so as to get a better understanding of how to fuel herself. I am a person who runs come rain or shine. I am a person who is the master of her own body. [sidequest] I am a person who walks daily for physical and mental benefit. With that, I enter a whole new stage of my life. Chapter three. Nowhere near the end, but definitely not the beginning, not anymore. There is solid ground beneath my feet, the fog on the path ahead has lifted a little, and I find I can move forwards with a confidence I haven’t felt in a long time. [Edit for zero week] Funnily enough, I didn’t intend to start this challenge until the 1st, but the build up to Christmas was fairly horrific. Retail Christmas is not a fun time to the year. As a result I’m feeling fairly beaten down and will need all the accountability I can get to stay on track with my prep work for kicking off the challenge properly. Mostly this involves cleaning up and organising my flat. Again. I find it very difficult to actually maintain this, especially when my mood dips. My work schedule for zero week is as follows: Monday and Tuesday: off Wednesday: Midshift Thursday: Backshift Friday: off Saturday: Backshift Sunday: Open This means I have three full days to dedicate to the task, two days where I can put in at least a couple of hours (mid/open days), and two days where work consumes all and the aim will be to take care of myself first and foremost. I’m not setting specific goals for zero week, but I will post daily updates to track my domestic rangering progress.

The Dragons of Disorder: Anxiety, Depression, and Disordered Eating. Mae govannen! I’m Thanneth, a lvl 0 newbie getting less newby every day. I started the 4-week challenge two weeks ago, but failed to be bestowed with instant discipline. I know, silly of me to expect it, but one can hope, right? Enter Life to throw a wrench in the works. This past weekend was hellish as far as mental health goes, and I didn’t complete a whit of the Challenge. I’m back up now, and raring to go. But with caution this time, not to get ahead of myself and focusing on building up the small things. This is a Google doc detailing my 3 Ages Plan to run a full mudder in September. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1O44YhXVRQpkjo6FlkajDhggwOiEnB6Lx_PUc6sqoQ78 Starting out: Shin splints, aching feet, upper body strength equal to a smallish goat, have never even run a 5k (lthough that’s coming up soon). This summer I was in the best shape of my life, and rocked the Boundary Waters repeating one 90 rod portage 3 times, once with a canoe, once taking a pack from someone who was halfway through, returning to help another person with a kayak that was never intended to be carried long distances (we called it the Blue Whale) and all the way back to get my waterbottle which I forgot the first time round. I paid for it later, but I did it, so I’m not technically at square one. Technically. That was in August. I think its an ambitious goal, but for the first time in years and thanks to this community, I have hope that I’ll finish it. Kinda like this.

Hello! My name is Thanneth and I’m a lvl 0 newbie who just found NF while idly scrolling the internet one idle night. As usual, I’m a tad late to the party. About me: I read more books than I play video games, and my favorites include LotR, the Hobbit, and science fiction novels. I love to write and wrestle with my dog. I’ve been deeply involved in martial arts for the past eight years and am now moving into the world of acrobatics. But who knows, I could lose interest in a moment and go off in an entrely different direction. I need something to keep me anchored in this plane of reality. And that’s where NF and my first 4-Week Challenge come in. I’ve started to struggle with depression (I believe) because of my increasingly sedentary lifestyle (college student)and noticed that binge eating behaviors were becoming more prominent. A few years ago I was active every day walking, running, just goofing off and I felt great. Now it’s rare that I take a walk. My long-term goal is to regain the joie de vivre I have lost by making physical activity an integral part of my life instead of a bonus and learning how to retake control of what and how much I put into my body. 4-week Challenge 1. Complete the bodyweightfitness recommended routine 2x a week for the 1st week, x3 for the 3rd and 4th. Before 8pm. 2. Work on a future assignment (that’s not due that week) 2x per week 3. Meditate 20 min 3x a week 4. 1x make a dinner for the family Bonus Points: 1x a week make a journal-list of everything I’m grateful for Do yoga for minimum 5 min. (pts for every time) Go a day without snacking. (pts for every day) EPIC GOAL: Reach 18% body fat by August 1, 2018 Complete a sprint triathlon Hike Hadrian’s Wall TRUELY UNATTAINABLY EPIC GOAL: Defeat an orc pack and then run for three days

Since I last walked these hallowed halls of Assassin's learning, the following things have happened: - I made some really awesome adult gymnastics friends! - I went to my second World Masters' Championships with my adult gymnastics friends! - I went to Adult Gymnastics Camp with my adult gymnastics friends! - I got married! - I won a full-time bassoon playing job! - I... moved away from my friends, my husband, my gym and my family to do the job... - I had assumed this would be a "starter" job, and I would do it for a few years and then move back to Ontario, but I love it way more than I thought I would. It's a great job in unique ways that would be missing if I won a "better" job, and I love all of my colleagues to a statistically improbable extent. My husband dislikes his job enough that the possibility of him coming here instead has been raised. -But... - I hate all the gyms in my new city. - There's one gymnastics club with an adult class, once a week, that I can go to about every other week. All of the other women in the class are beginners, which is fine, but the fun of training with other people is working on skills with them and being inspired by people who are better than you, so, not ideal for me. - There are some cheerleading gyms with open gym sessions that I go to and invariably leave angry and sad because seriously, do these parents actively hate their children and want them to die???? - I miss my gymnastics friends - I miss my husband - I just wanna get good at gymnastics - Scratch that, I just want some friendz - I'm sad and confused alot I really like my colleagues, but I really miss having non-music friends. I miss having gymnastics friends. I miss being able to go to gymnastics 3+ times a week, and feeling like I was making progress and I wasn't crazy for wanting to make progress. And I know it's normal to not immediately have a fulfilling social calendar when you move to a new place where you don't know anyone, so I'm also trying to go easy on myself with with "wow what a pathetic friendless loser" thoughts because, uh, that's no fun and also not a good vibe for attracting people I was gonna do gymnastics goals, but uh re-reading this sad-sack intro, maybe let's start with... 1. Headspace I've downloaded it before and never used it, but this seems like a good time to try! Goal is every day, before starting to practice. (Bassoon, that is.) 2. Limit screen time I live in Saskatchewan now. It's November and it's already regularly hitting -20c, and -40c isn't unusual for the middle of winter. At those temperatures, the idea of plugging in the car four hours in advance, putting on hat, mitts, coat and boots just to walk to the car, and then driving to the gym starts to seem, well, not worth it, especially when there's a whole internet at your fingertips inside I find I'm much more likely to get things done when I limit my time online to 2 30-min chunks, one in the morning and one in the evening. Then at least if I'm gonna procrastinate I'll do it with a book or something. This is somewhat complicated for the first few days of the challenge by the fact that I'm doing Nanowrimo, but really, if I can't tell the difference between "writing words" and "dicking around on the internet," there's no hope for me. 3. Eat meals Two of them a day, or three if I want breakfast and have time for it (FUCK THE MAN, BREAKFAST IS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY) . A meal is when I prepare a dish and then sit down and eat it. it is not "oh, I've been snacking on junk for the past two hours, it's afternoon, let's say I ate lunch! So hand-in-hand with this goal is limiting snacking. Snacks are fine, if they are driven by actual hunger and not boredom, and consist of something small to tide me over until the next meal. bedtime snack is the exception-- I will plan for something small and probably candy-like every night, because that makes me happy 4. Stretch every day Ugh, I really do feel so much better when I do this. On gym days, I like to do it at the gym, but if I don't get to the gym one day, I need to do it at some other point during the day. Them's the goals! I'm really excited to be back here and now that I am, I'm suddenly coming up with all sorts of nutso themes for challenges

THE SILVER ARCHER: BOOK TWO Chapter 2 Banish the Shadow Mistral was sitting at a library table with her back to me when I slowly pushed open the heavy door and stepped inside, my mud-caked boots making jarring sounds that ricocheted off the polished marble floor and high stone ceilings. She did not stir or turn, and I carefully pushed the door shut, then stood with my back against it, gathering up my will to hide the crackling stiffness of my battered joints and the throbbing, infected pain of the wounds on my hands and arms. I should have cleaned up before coming, I realized, and glanced quickly down at my palms to be sure no blood was oozing through the hastily applied wrappings. "So." Mistral's voice was chilly, and she laughed slightly under her breath, still without turning around. "You decided to return." I swallowed the tightness in my throat. "I did." She sat in silence, but I offered no explanation. I was in pain and in no mood to explain myself or apologize for doing what I had to do - I just wanted this to be over so I could go wash the mud, clay, blood and sweat off my aching body. After a heavy moment, she spun around abruptly and faced me with eyes blazing under furiously knit brows. "Do you care to explain yourself?" she roared. I opened my mouth, but she continued: "Do you think you're entitled to this training? Do you think you can just attend when you feel like it and skip off when you don't? I have bought this opportunity for you with my own labor, because I knew you had potential to become one of the greatest archers I have ever trained - but for the year we have been together, you have been unreliable, emotional, irresponsible, and childish. I lose when you decide to refuse my authority and go your own way, Sky Elvenword - I lose, not just you!" She angrily took in my torn, dirty homespun garments and slack posture, and angrily snapped a hand at me. "Since you are clearly able to take care of yourself and decide what you should be doing, Miss Silver Archer, how about you just take off into the world and see how that turns out for you!" Drawing a deep, tired breath, I pushed off from the door and walked over to the desk, where I looked quietly into her face for a moment, then lifted the heavy sack of gems from my shoulder and threw it onto the table with a crash that rattled the library. The sack spilled open and the crystal-blue elven gems rolled out, as big as her hand, ten perfect gems mined from the dark mines of the eastern lands of Middle Earth. She stared at them in wonder for a moment, then snapped her gaze back to my face. "Sky, you didn't ..." I leaned on the table and looked steadily into her face, too tired to summon anger. "In the time I have been away," I said quietly, "I went home to help Ayre and Aki fight off an attack that nearly cost Ayre his life. I stayed with them at the Guildhall to help Aki nurse him back toward health, and as I worked alongside her, I developed an infection in the life-wound on my forehead - the Elder poisoned me when he filled me with the Burning, and I became very sick. The Kallanas and I had to care for each other, according to the doctor's instructions. As I began to heal, I met a traveling warrior from the West who was sent to find me by a strange prophecy - I was supposed to bring him back with me to the Temple, but we were separated during our journey through the mines. We met a balrog and had to fight him together." I paused for a moment as a flood of painful memories washed over me, and I bit back the crying words that nearly tumbled out of my chest. "I couldn't find him after the battle. I was trapped and wounded in the bottom of the mines, so since I could not move quickly, I began to extract these gems on my way back toward the surface. I carried them with me because I knew they would help pay for the next part of my training - even though I was wounded and the weight and roughness of the sack kept the wounds in my hands from healing. I don't know when I will be able to throw my powers again because they were so badly torn and infected." I crossed my arms under my cloak and looked at my teacher through heavy eyes. "I do value my training, Mistral. That's why I came back. I wanted with all my heart to stay in the mines and look for my friend, or to stay in the Guildhall with the Kallanas - or most of all, to wander off into the woods on my own and never return. But I didn't. I came back. I am here, bloody, wounded, tired, and sick, because I vowed to learn how to use my powers as the Silver Archer and as a Protector. And that vow is more important than what I feel, or what I want." Mistral slowly rose to her feet and looked down at me, her forehead creased and her gaze urgent and uncertain. "You've changed, Sky," she said quietly, and her eyes grew misty as she reached out to gently take my head in her hands and press her forehead to mine. I closed my eyes and felt her quiver slightly with emotion. "You are noble and brave, my young friend. I didn't realize that you are no longer the frightened halfling whom Ayre asked me to take under my wing. You are a true warrior, and you have the heart of a Protector. Your body may be small, but one day you may be the strongest of us all." All the emotions of my terrible journey started to churn up inside me and I felt hot tears flood my eyes, but I pulled away from Mistral and shook myself hard to force them back down inside. I looked up and met her eyes firmly. I would be strong - I would channel the horrors of the balrog, the anguish of reaching out for Tristan and finding empty space, the ripping pain of the gems weighing against my bruised shoulder; and I would use them to strengthen my hands and my heart. But to my surprise, Mistral broke into my thoughts by pressing two fingers firmly to my forehead and frowning into my eyes. "Not that way, Sky. Not that way. Don't press all the sadness and anger down inside and let it turn your heart to steel. I promised Ayre I would help you stay sensitive and gentle, so you could feel the pains and hopes of the world; and I will keep that promise. Before you go back to your training, the first thing you must do is to feel all the darkness you have kept inside all these weeks - then, together, we can banish the shadows from behind your eyes and allow you to shine your light once again." ----------------- Challenge goals:

This is not fun. This is not ending the year in a blaze of glory. This is the hard work that needs to be put in, and long overdue hard work at that. There are no more excuses to hide behind. This challenge will run from week one right through until the next zero week begins, however long that may be. Burpees EVERY Morning What better way to get the heart pumping and the blood flowing every cold, cold winter morning? Going to be working it a little differently until I get a good gauge of how certain bodyparts react to it. Zero week I’ll be starting with five and adding one per day, then come week one I’ll be starting with six and adding one per day. Week two, starting with seven adding one, and so on. Grind, Grind Away The hard work part. Every week must see two bodyweight workouts, two runs, and yoga on at least three occasions. No excuses. Broccoli and Other Stuff Not that I need any encouragement to eat broccoli, the stuff is amazing. No, what I need is some structure to my diet and to filter out the crap that keeps slowly creeping in. I have taken steps to ensure I will have good ingredients available to me, and I will create a meal plan that stretches maybe three or four days in advance for two meals per day. The third, or any other meal, can be a more relaxed affair. Dairy is to be avoided. If I want cheese, it has to be the lactose free kind. If I want pizza, well, gotta make that myself. If I want chocolate… ...that’s allowed. Twice per week only. I do have a more detailed plan for this handwritten in my challenge notebook (I missed having one of these and so resurrected my formerly forgotten practice of doing so), so I’ve got the rules I need to stick to, what constitutes ‘relaxed’ meals, and so on. Fifteen Minute Method I seem to recall this working out for me before, so I’ll do it again. Fifteen minutes every day spent doing some domestic rangering. Week Zero This is a prep week, and as of writing this I’ve done not too badly in following my prep list. I’m pulling together some decent food options to ensure I stay on track with my dietary goals, the flat is almost in a habitable state, and I’ve rearranged my gym set up to reflect the types of workouts I will be focusing on for the next few months. It is important that I keep on track with the prep so that I can start out strong. And to finish... Tracking is important here, not just to keep myself accountable, but for the simple fact that if I don’t write down what I do and how I’ve done it, I’m going to forget. And I can’t build on blurry memories. I’ve set up a couple of notebooks for offline tracking, and every day I will condense and make coherent those notes for an update here. I will also endeavour to be more social on here as that’s something I struggled with last time. Weekly success will be judged as it comes, and finishing with a 75% overall success rate will earn a new piece of running kit.

I forgot what happens when summer ends and things start getting colder. Somehow. I’m struggling. It’s as simple as that. I fell of the grid during the last challenge because of it. It got to be too much and the only thing that I thought I could do was take a step back. But I stepped back too far. I wondered about sitting out this time around, but I don’t want to do that. Although I seem to be failing at it, I want to break the isolation habit. Things get bad, I turn into a turtle. Not so good. As it stands, I am not operating at full capacity, or even half, therefore my goals are very, very simplistic and aimed at dragging me through these next four weeks.If I can build some discipline back up then that’s great, but I’ll settle for some basic functionality. Self care - The basics. Set bed times, showering daily, eating more than once a day, actually getting dressed on days off of work, that sort of thing. Will vary day to day. One point per successful day, bonus points can be awarded if such an occasion arises. Overall success is defined as 25+ points by the end of the challenge. Home care - Vanquish the pile of dishes in the kitchen, open curtains and blinds every day, keep the plants watered and trimmed, dust, polish, do the washing. Again, will vary, but daily efforts must be made and recorded. One point per successful day. Overall success is defined as 21+ points by the end of the challenge. Daily happy - Advice from a friend, and advice that will be taken. One point per successful day, bonus points when applicable. Overall success is defined as 28+ points by the end of the challenge. Survive - This challenge will encompass Nuclear Fallout. I am not confident about my ability to do this. Getting out of bed is an intense physical challenge right now. So I’ll go, and I’ll try, and whatever happens, happens. I’m not going to let me beat myself up over any potential failure. Talk - Update daily, even if it’s just a ‘got out of bed, drank coffee, ate a couple of meals’ kind of deal. Also, talk to other people. Break this isolation thing down. One point per successful update. Overall success is defined as 21+ points by the end of the challenge. I guess less a series of goals and more a to-do list? I don’t know. Either way, that’s what I’m running with. Trying to run with. And because I’m going to need some kind of tangible incentive... Results: 95+ points - Massive success and a free pass to splash out on any book, a steak dinner, and one useful, reasonably priced item from the loot bag list. (I have my eye on a few books, steak is a luxury I have refused to let myself indulge in for months, and the loot bag list is full of surprisingly useful things that aren’t quite essential, but will actually help) 85-94 - Exceeded expectations, earned a book and permission to rescue a houseplant from the reduced section of any local shop (but it has to be one that will actually survive winter). (I see so many plants consigned to the reduced sections because of slight visual defects and the like, and I just want to buy them up and nurture them so they don’t get binned. But I do not have the funds to do this continually…) 64-84 - Over halfway there and that effort counts for something, time to invest in a useful book. (I have a specific list for this) 45-64 - Halfway, or thereabouts. A decent effort. 25-44 - Effort was made, but not enough. 0-24 - Unacceptable. I’ll start things off with the official start date. What I need to remember through all of this is to have patience with myself, to allow myself to feel frustrated (and to handle that constructively), and to pace myself. I managed to come up with a half decent mantra, and now I need to keep telling it to myself, I need to believe it once more. Shit is going down, but I am not.

~ 1.5hr swim 2x/week ~ Paleo eating as much as is in my control, MFP tracking on Mondays ~ Morning Bible study M-W-F (I'm private tutoring Tuesday/Thursday mornings now)