Why bother? -- we need our motivation back!

[Perdi]

improved mental health. endorphins are nice. also I've noticed I can concentrate a bit better and the insanity at work is easier to handle. just because I exercise now. I can't wait to see what happens to my brain once I clean up my diet a bit!

[Haikoo]

I had twins. My belly got HUGE (as did the rest of me), my chest, belly, rear and thighs are covered in stretchmarks. I have no tan to hide them.

For the last 2 years I have made a lot of healthy changes in my lifestyle and have dropped some inches and just feel better over all. A month ago I bought a bikini. The last time I wore one was when I was 3 months pregnant with the twins. I"m still trying to psych myself up enough to wear it...but I'm getting there. Sometimes wearing something like that is more about the self confidence. If you wear it and wear it proudly, no one is going to think twice about it.

[thescrawnycaveman]

Do you want to exist or be alive? Is it more embarrassing to have people see a stretch mark or two while your rocking your abs in a bikini, or being that old fat lady in walmart who rides a motorized wheel chair because she can't walk for more than 5 minutes? Ya know what, you may never be that gorgeous woman you see in the magazines, but you can prevent yourself from being the butt of every teenagers jokes when your back is turned. Maybe it isn't about becoming the best, maybe its about not becoming the worst. Think about the worst case scenario if you do work out and the worst case scenario if you don't. Which is scarier?

[js290]

Hey all,

A few of the ladies I work out with were tossing around this question, and wondering if anyone could throw some advice our way.

The question is, Why work so hard to eat healthy, get in shape, etc. when we're never going to look good anyways?

Most of us are moms and we have stretch marks and scarring. Even if we do eat paleo, get our body fat down, build muscle, we are never going to look attractive. We will never be able to wear swimsuits (or for some of us, shorts and t shirts) no matter how fit we are. It's killing our motivation! We've been contimplating ditching our workout and getting some doughnuts. If we're always going to need to cover up, why bother trying?

Any advice? We need our motivation back...

Sounds like sour grapes... argumentum ad odium... Advice: find new friends.

[SirEarl]

Why work so hard to eat healthy, get in shape, etc. when we're never going to look good anyways?

Because you can look better. Sure, you may not look good to 70% of the world, but do you really care about that 70%? In your head/heart, you know you are at least trying and that is a start. If you limit yourself, then you are limited. Reach for the sky, and you'll find yourself closer to it.

All this right now, it's like rain. Yeah, it's cold and gloomy and wet. But spring time's a comin'. Wouldn't it be nice to sprout and eventually bloom instead of being a seed in the dirt? We try because we are human. We simply "live" and not "live for".

As Bruce Lee said, “If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.â€

And if none of that works for ya, listen to Nike. Just do it!

[shadowkat]

I think the best bodies are the useful ones. I'd rather look like a warrior than a model. (Although I'm not opposed to being a sexy warrior...)

[SirEarl]

I think the best bodies are the useful ones. I'd rather look like a warrior than a model. (Although I'm not opposed to being a sexy warrior...)

Xena

[Wicked Pixie]

I think the best bodies are the useful ones. I'd rather look like a warrior than a model. (Although I'm not opposed to being a sexy warrior...)

I'm a believer that we already are!!!

[WarriorAmy]

I'll go against the grain a little bit here and say that I hate my stretchmarks. Post two kids, I've got excess belly skin that's never going to go away and it's my least favorite thing about my body.

Does it stop me from loving on myself? No. Because they are such a small thing, and so many people have them. There are all kinds of creams & oils that can reduce the effect (I've used one brand with some success). While I still cringe a little in the mirror, I try and remember that I care about it so much more than anybody else, probably because they are too busy looking at their own flaws.

[Wicked Pixie]

I've always heard that it's confidence that makes people attractive. I believe that!

Your attitude determines your altitude, don't let other people hold you down!

[IfItPlugsIn]

I'll go against the grain a little bit here and say that I hate my stretchmarks. Post two kids, I've got excess belly skin that's never going to go away and it's my least favorite thing about my body.

Oh, I hate mine too. Two c-sections gave me a saggy flap on the front and the stretchmarks are hideous. Definitely my least favorite thing about my body. I have to try my hardest not let people see how much it bothers me. I pretend I'm proud that I've "earned" those scars, but in the back of my mind it still gets to me.

Confidence is definitely key! Own it, and no one will even notice your flaws. Getting fit isn't just about vanity either. The other benefits out-weigh looks by a longshot.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]3743[/ATTACH]

[Wicked Pixie]

Oh, I hate mine too. Two c-sections gave me a saggy flap on the front and the stretchmarks are hideous. Definitely my least favorite thing about my body. I have to try my hardest not let people see how much it bothers me. I pretend I'm proud that I've "earned" those scars, but in the back of my mind it still gets to me.

Confidence is definitely key! Own it, and no one will even notice your flaws. Getting fit isn't just about vanity either. The other benefits out-weigh looks by a longshot.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]3743[/ATTACH]

I happen to think that you just posted a smoking hawt mama bikini pic right there!!!

Sure our imperfections bother us all at times, but you know what- Every breath we've taken, every single choice we've made (good and bad) have brought us to where we are now, and personally, I'm in the best place I've ever been in my life!

I feel more alive now in my dirty 30's than I EVER did as a teen or in my 20's!~

[nickls]

I agree with what people said:

-exercising and eating right is about far more than looks

-it is false that you can never look good

-it is false that you must stay covered up

-you notice your own imperfections far more than anyone else, and it's mostly mental

Exercising and eating right will tend to make you feel better about your body, as well as feel better in general. I read a sad story yesterday about a young man who had body dysmorphic disorder and ended up killing himself. He also happened to be very good looking while constantly thinking how bad he looked. I think this is an example that shows that how we feel about our looks doesn't necessarily have much to do with how other people think we look. I was born with a sunken chest and stretch marks on my back, and due to working out and getting in shape think that I am looking pretty rocking shirtless, just like the women who posted their swimsuit pictures here.

[Deanna]

Why bother? Sex! It's a great motivator. I've been so busy the last few weeks and haven't worked out. Last night I had a reminder why I need to get back at it. I need more endurance dammit. Maybe I'll never get rid of my stretch marks or baby belly but my man sure as hell won't care.

[IfItPlugsIn]

I happen to think that you just posted a smoking hawt mama bikini pic right there!!!

Sure our imperfections bother us all at times, but you know what- Every breath we've taken, every single choice we've made (good and bad) have brought us to where we are now, and personally, I'm in the best place I've ever been in my life!

I feel more alive now in my dirty 30's than I EVER did as a teen or in my 20's!~

Wow, I needed to hear that! I'm incredibly self-concious, and debated even posting in the first place, especially after seeing you and Mandy. I may not have the cute, perfect body I had in my teens and 20's (which I thought was fat and ugly), but I'm constantly learning about real health and nutrition now. I may not be in the best shape of my life right now, but I'm in a better place mentally, and working toward the best me I can be.

P.S. You brought me to tears.

[Wicked Pixie]

I agree with what people said:

-exercising and eating right is about far more than looks

-it is false that you can never look good

-it is false that you must stay covered up

-you notice your own imperfections far more than anyone else, and it's mostly mental

Exercising and eating right will tend to make you feel better about your body, as well as feel better in general. I read a sad story yesterday about a young man who had body dysmorphic disorder and ended up killing himself. He also happened to be very good looking while constantly thinking how bad he looked. I think this is an example that shows that how we feel about our looks doesn't necessarily have much to do with how other people think we look. I was born with a sunken chest and stretch marks on my back, and due to working out and getting in shape think that I am looking pretty rocking shirtless, just like the women who posted their swimsuit pictures here.

My husband has no pectoral muscle on one side- he is physically unable to do standard pushups, and you know what- he works around it. He's comfortable in his own skin- and he's taking steps to get stronger in spite of that.

Now, post pics

[Wicked Pixie]

Wow, I needed to hear that! I'm incredibly self-concious, and debated even posting in the first place, especially after seeing you and Mandy. I may not have the cute, perfect body I had in my teens and 20's (which I thought was fat and ugly), but I'm constantly learning about real health and nutrition now. I may not be in the best shape of my life right now, but I'm in a better place mentally, and working toward the best me I can be.

P.S. You brought me to tears.

Awww don't cry! I'm proud of you!!!! and us hawt mamas gotta stick together!!! Hugs

My 14 year old said I was gross because I told someone that when my son is in high school I wanted to be the HOT MOM!

My 8year old son said I already am....LOVE that boy!

[WizardTrip]

Gonna jump in to add to what some of the other guys have said, I too have stretch marks. Some are from growth spurts many years ago and others are from my college "fat" growth spurt, but stretch marks are stretch marks, and lets just that that nothing has ever kept me from taking my shirt off at the beach or pool. Most important thing is being comfortable in your own skin. If you aren't, find out what will make you comfortable and get there.

Also, for the lady pics.... *whistles* ... None of you...not one....should feel self-conscious. All of you look amazing!

*think I found my new favorite thread*

[Jaswandi]

I happen to think that you just posted a smoking hawt mama bikini pic right there!!!

Sure our imperfections bother us all at times, but you know what- Every breath we've taken, every single choice we've made (good and bad) have brought us to where we are now, and personally, I'm in the best place I've ever been in my life!

I feel more alive now in my dirty 30's than I EVER did as a teen or in my 20's!~

You are an inspiration, Ma'am.

[Georges]

I kinda just want to point out that although being fit looks better than not being fit, it doesn't always matter to self-image. That's why I have, I think, only one photo of myself from back when I was 50 pounds lighter and healthier. If someone is working out just so they can wear a bikini (it's the only summer in my life I ever wore one), then there's a lot more to it than just getting physically healthy. To me, it sounds like the ladies you work out with will need to exercise their minds and attitudes along with their muscles and doughnut resistance.

Keep in mind that if they don't, it doesn't mean you can't. If you need support/help/info from somewhere outside that group of friends, you've found a pretty good place to get it!

[morethanjustamom]

WHY?! (WickedPixie, you and the other moms might have to hold me back so I don't kill this lady's "friends")

1. Because I want to be strong! I don't want to be a crippled old lady who can't pick up a bag of dog food, or can't get out of the bathtub by herself.

2. Exercise makes sex better and more fun, and makes you want to do it more. Who wouldn't want that?

3. The endorphins are better than any drink or cigarette, and I've never gotten an 'exercise hangover'.

4. To do something that makes me proud of me. Do I want my kids and husband to be proud of me? Yes, but I want to be proud of me and what I can do, and what I've accomplished, more than what anyone else thinks.

5. To teach my daughters to take care of themselves when they're wives and mothers.

6. To teach my sons to make sure their wives and mothers of their children take care of themselves.

7. To have enough energy to keep up with my (FIVE!) children, and however many grandchildren they produce in the distant future.

8. To show others that a mom of five can find time to take care of herself, so they have no excuses. My mom is a prime example of this, and I'm so proud that she's been working out with heavy weights for 10 WEEKS! Woohoo, go Mom!

9. To be more comfortable in my own skin. Exercise has given me a level of confidence that dieting alone never could. I now feel that dieting leads to self-hate, while exercise leads to learning about and loving your body for what it can do, not necessarily for how it looks.

10. Because these hot mamas (and all the women!) on NF inspire me every day to be a part of their club. Never have I ever experienced a more supportive, positive group of women devoted to helping one another and encouraging each other. They love me, encourage me, and support me in my quest to be a better me...stretch marks, cellulite and all!

[Wicked Pixie]

WHY?! (WickedPixie, you and the other moms might have to hold me back so I don't kill this lady's "friends")

1. Because I want to be strong! I don't want to be a crippled old lady who can't pick up a bag of dog food, or can't get out of the bathtub by herself.

2. Exercise makes sex better and more fun, and makes you want to do it more. Who wouldn't want that?

3. The endorphins are better than any drink or cigarette, and I've never gotten an 'exercise hangover'.

4. To do something that makes me proud of me. Do I want my kids and husband to be proud of me? Yes, but I want to be proud of me and what I can do, and what I've accomplished, more than what anyone else thinks.

5. To teach my daughters to take care of themselves when they're wives and mothers.

6. To teach my sons to make sure their wives and mothers of their children take care of themselves.

7. To have enough energy to keep up with my (FIVE!) children, and however many grandchildren they produce in the distant future.

8. To show others that a mom of five can find time to take care of herself, so they have no excuses. My mom is a prime example of this, and I'm so proud that she's been working out with heavy weights for 10 WEEKS! Woohoo, go Mom!

9. To be more comfortable in my own skin. Exercise has given me a level of confidence that dieting alone never could. I now feel that dieting leads to self-hate, while exercise leads to learning about and loving your body for what it can do, not necessarily for how it looks.

10. Because these hot mamas (and all the women!) on NF inspire me every day to be a part of their club. Never have I ever experienced a more supportive, positive group of women devoted to helping one another and encouraging each other. They love me, encourage me, and support me in my quest to be a better me...stretch marks, cellulite and all!

THIS! Down to every last word!!!

[Eurydice]

1. Because I want to be strong! I don't want to be a crippled old lady who can't pick up a bag of dog food, or can't get out of the bathtub by herself.

As a side point, for about four months a couple of years ago I in fact was that crippled lady who couldn't carry a box of cat litter or get out of the bathtub by herself. I'm now closing in on triple digits in the squat and deadlift and I'm over halfway to my goal of squatting my body weight.

So if I sound like I don't have much sympathy for a group of women who genuinely cannot come up with any good reasons to be strong and healthy if some dude isn't mirin, it's because that is the least important reason I can even imagine.

[Anivair]

i find the thought of this extremely depressing.

i have stretch marks from when i was fat. does that make it impossible for me to ever be attractive?

and should I never ever wear shorts ever again because of them?

A fine point. I also have stretch marks. I like to think of them as battle scars. And if there's one thing guys like, it's scars.

Then again, I know that most of the time women's worst critics are not men, but a) themselves and other women. Not much I can do to help there except to say that nothing anyone has said here makes me think anyone with these concerns won't be attractive. The two most attractive things are confidence and overall well being. Eating right and exercising will give you those.

[DoogieT]

K, I'm going to jump in here and say that all the ladies who posted photos look great. You're all far too hard on yourself and I'd be thrilled to make it to first base with any of you.