[StarRuby]

Does anyone remember the Oatmeal?

 

Way back in the day, before the creator made a bunch of hilarious board games and card games, The Oatmeal's creator was responsible for explaining that when he ran he didn't the wall. You know The Wall, that place where you are physically and emotionally exhausted and you feel like you can't do it anymore. He, however, had something called The Blerch.

 

The Blerch is a fat little cherub that follows him around, whispering for him to quit. 

Quote

The Blerch represents all forms of gluttony, apathy, and indifference that plague my life. He follows me home. He comes with me to work. The Blerch is with me morning, noon, and night. A wall is an obstinate, immovable object. You cannot silence it, you cannot outrun it, and you can not beat it. The Blerch, however, can be outrun. He CAN be silenced. - The Oatmeal.

 

We all have a Blerch, and mine? 

 

Mine won. 

 

For almost ten years now. 

 

And now? I'm telling him to shut the eff up.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

GOAL # 1: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE

(AKA: Drink some water you capable but dehydrated witch.)

1. WEEK 1: 64 ounces of water a day. Doesn't have to be raw-water. I can use the little flavor packets. All that matters is that hydration is getting into my tummy tums. 
2. WEEK 2: 64 ounces of water a day. 16 of those ounces have to be raw water. I gotta give my poor kidneys a dang break and quit drinking what is the equivalent of sugar-free KoolAid. 
3. WEEK 3: 64 ounces of water a day. 32 of those ounces have to be raw water. C'mon, kiddo, you actually like water. You can do it. CHUG CHUG CHUG!

 

GOAL # 2: ALONE TIME AT THE GYM

(AKA: Time to self-motivate)

1. WEEK 1: Go to the YMCA 1x this week to exercise without a class. This can be literally anything, but I need to stay there for thirty minutes. 
2. WEEK 2:  Go to the YMCA 2x this week to exercise without a class. Thirty minutes minimum, but brownie points if I do more. 
3. WEEK 3: Go to the YMCA 3x this week to exercise without a class. Thirty minutes minimum. This is the ULTIMATE GOAL. I love doing classes, but I get stuck in a holding pattern, I need to learn that I can do it by myself. 

 

GOAL # 3: HOOKAH IS FOR FUNSIES, NOT ANXIETY

(AKA: Smoke less, ya dang weirdo)

1. WEEK 1: Fast from the dang bubbly demon: Cut myself off at midnight. Every night. There is no reason for me to be smoking super late at night anyway, nobody is awake and why am I anxious? Just go to bed or drink some tea - or better yet, DRINK WATER. 
2. WEEK 2: Rethink the routine: Really try and figure out why the Hell I'm smoking at the times I'm smoking. Am I tired? Am I bored? Am I hungry? Write down those feelings and look at them later. There might be a pattern. 
3. WEEK 3: Cut out the 4th bowl. You can do it. I know you smoke a lot, but we can replace that with a healthy habit instead. 

[StarRuby]

GOAL # 1: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE

(AKA: Drink some water you capable but dehydrated witch.)

That was me today. 

 

I tried to drink some water, but I only got to 32 ounces. Today was kind of a lose, but tomorrow is a brand new day!

 

GOAL # 2: ALONE TIME AT THE GYM

(AKA: Time to self-motivate)

I went to the gym today! Or, well, at least I tried to. I got my happy self up, went to the YMCA to go do some laps aaaaaaand - the pool was closed because there was something wonky with the pool chemicals. I didn't bring my tennis shoes to do a workout instead, so I'm going to keep some gym clothes in my trunk just in case I want to work out and can't do the exercise I wanna do. Time to prep the gym bag, comrades!

 

 

GOAL # 3: HOOKAH IS FOR FUNSIES, NOT ANXIETY

(AKA: Smoke less, ya dang weirdo)

... I am writing this while smoking. It is obviously past midnight for me and it was just too much of my routine to not. This was a fail. Time to try again tomorrow. 

 

 

TOTAL WINS: 1/3

[Artemis Prime]

I do remember the Blerch! Here to cheer as you battle yours. I really like how you've planned out your goals to ramp up over three weeks. Also, I really enjoy the phrase "raw water." 

[StarRuby]

On 9/26/2024 at 8:30 AM, Artemis Prime said:

I do remember the Blerch! Here to cheer as you battle yours. I really like how you've planned out your goals to ramp up over three weeks. Also, I really enjoy the phrase "raw water." 

I had to think about it for awhile, and I feel like "raw water" should make its way into common parlance, just like I wanna see if "leaf water" takes off for tea. 

--------------------------------------

YESTERDAY: I didn't get on to post, but here is the rundown of what y'all missed. 

GOAL # 1: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE

GUESS WHO DRANK ALL THEIR WATER LIKE A GROWN UP! IT WAS RAW TOO!

 

GOAL # 2: ALONE TIME AT THE GYM

I'm really going above and beyond with this puppy. I made it to the gym, swam for a little bit, and then got kicked out of the pool because I stayed too long and they had to scoop me out like a leaf floating around. 

 

This gif has nothing to do with the challenge, I just like it. 

 

GOAL # 3: HOOKAH IS FOR FUNSIES, NOT ANXIETY

I fell asleep at 11:00 and, therefore, did not smoke. CAN'T SMOKE IF I'M SLEEPING! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

TOTAL WINS: 3/3

[StarRuby]

TODAY'S BATTLE: FIGHTING HOMELESSNESS

I went to a friend's church today and we packed up backpacks and stuff for the homeless that we're going to pass out tomorrow so they are a little better prepared for the winter. I used to work pretty extensively with the homeless population in my area and I'm at once excited to potentially see some of my old clients, but also nervous because I'm worried some of them might be out there again because they lost their housing with my old work. I've been kind of trying to come to grips with that, but overall today was a wonderful day and it was full of some really big wins. 

 

GOAL # 1: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE

Another day full of raw water! I didn't mean to drink a bunch of regular water, either, I would just polish off a bottle and then go to the next one because I was THIRSTY. And I still haven't gotten around to buying flavor packets. Running out of packets in this household is a grave travesty, but I've been broke sooooo from the tap it is. 

 

GOAL # 2: ALONE TIME AT THE GYM

Today was not an alone time at the gym day today - it was a go to water aerobics day! I got to see a lot of friends, and now I'm going to be playing Scrabble with an eighty-four year old woman named Jan. Jan is wonderful. She is, by far, my favorite part of class. I have to keep coming back now. I can't disappoint Jan. 

Actual footage of me and the septuagenarians at the YMCA getting down and funky in the pool. 

 

GOAL # 3: HOOKAH IS FOR FUNSIES, NOT ANXIETY

... okay, so I only smoked three times today but the final bowl got started at 11:00 and I'm still working on it. My brain is like "Oh, you can't stop, you'll waste the coals!"

 

I DON'T CARE IF I WASTE THE COALS BRAIN

 

"But, you do care tho."

I do. I care so much. I paid for this stuff so I hate to waste it but, like, I need to go to bed and not be smoking right now I have a busy day tomorrow. 

 

I'm only counting this as half a win; gif is for flavor. 

 

 

TOTAL WINS: 2.5/3

[Chesire]

Excellent plan.  I also remember the Blerch.  You can do it!

 

do it for Jan

[StarRuby]

9 hours ago, Jyoti said:

`

Fighting homelessness is a crucial battle that involves providing safe housing, access to healthcare, employment opportunities, and supportive services for vulnerable populations. Solutions require a collaborative approach, including government policies, nonprofit organizations, and community support, to address both immediate needs and the root causes of homelessness. Efforts like affordable housing initiatives, mental health support, job training programs, and emergency shelters play essential roles in combating this complex issue.https://quickbath.in

So, a fun fact about me: I used to work for a non-profit that provided mental healthcare services as well as housing services to individuals experiencing chronic homelessness. (We also provided mental health services to vulnerable populations at a free or reduced cost, but that wasn't my department.) And you are correct: dealing with homelessness requires a multi-tiered approach that looks at the whole person as well as the societal structures that impact our lives and poverty. Not only that, but there need to be resources helping an individual transition from homelessness to being housed - it is a MASSIVE culture shock for people who have lived in their car for years to suddenly live in an apartment. Also, many of our governmental programs in the US  are not easy to navigate by yourself, and many city ordinances criminalize homelessness. Overall, it's a tragedy. 

 

I miss the people I helped. I met a lot of really good, kind people. I met some assholes, too, but honestly? I kind of miss them the most. 

 

5 hours ago, Chesire said:

Excellent plan.  I also remember the Blerch.  You can do it!

 

do it for Jan

 

DO IT FOR JAAAAAAAN!

[StarRuby]

OUTREACH DAAAAAY!

Today was outreach day! I had a lovely time helping the homeless, and it made me feel really good doing good things with people who seem to have the same outlook as I do regarding helping others. I had a wonderful time. I met some cool people, and it was generally a low key and fun time. 

 

And now? On to the fitness-ness

 

GOAL # 1: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE

That was me today. It was hot, I was thirsty. I still haven't bought flavor packets so it was sixty-four ounces of RAW WATER BAYBEEEEE!

 

GOAL # 2: ALONE TIME AT THE GYM

No gym today because the Y closes at weird hours on weekends in my area and I just didn't feel like it. I already finished this challenge this week and I? Was a tired potato after everything.  That is actual footage of me coming home after a long day.

 

GOAL # 3: HOOKAH IS FOR FUNSIES, NOT ANXIETY

CAN'T SMOKE PAST MIDNIGHT IF YOU GO TO BED BEFORE MIDNIGHT!

 

TOTAL WINS: 3/3

 

[StarRuby]

AND ON THE SEVENTH DAY SHE RESTED

I want to say that I rested today, but realistically I did a few things that were good for me. Went to the grocery store after going swimming and cooking dinner being some of those things. Today was a chill day. I was going to go to my friend's church, but I literally spent all weekend with people and my autistic brain decided that was Too Many and I needed to take a me day away from people. Anyway! Here's the update (possibly gif free because I'm being lazy and resting and I don't wanna search for the perfect image.)

 

GOAL # 1: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE

With week 1 under my belt, I'm starting up week 2 today so let's see how we did. Here is a friendly reminder for myself to remember what it is that I'm doing The goal here was:

WEEK 2: 64 ounces of water a day. 16 of those ounces have to be raw water. I gotta give my poor kidneys a dang break and quit drinking what is the equivalent of sugar-free KoolAid. 

 

As of 10:00 PM I am still one bottle of water away from finishing off my water goal today. Again, I haven't gotten my flavor packets so we've been drinking raw water all day. I did, however, get a Dr. Pepper Zero, which I am not counting as water because THAT IS NOT WATER. DIET SODA IS NOT WATER. I have to remind myself that because, when left to my own devices, that would be the only thing I drank. 

 

GOAL # 2: ALONE TIME AT THE GYM

Week 1 was a success and now I'm starting Week 2 off strong. Here's a reminder of the goal:

WEEK 2:  Go to the YMCA 2x this week to exercise without a class. Thirty minutes minimum, but brownie points if I do more. 

 

Guess who went swimming today without feeling like I was being guilted into exercising? THIS WIIIIIIITCH! I would say that I spent about 30 minutes of the time I was there actually exercising and 30 minutes talking to whoever would listen to me - which I think is basically what you do when you go to the YMCA and don't have headphones in. I talked to my mom on the phone and she's interested in going to water aerobics with me and I'm trying to get her to join so we can go exercise and have fun together. She turns 60 this year, and I assure her that the water aerobics class wouldn't be hard on her joints or Judge McJudgiepantses  because everyone there is older and trying to be gentle on their joints. Plus I want my mom to meet Jan because I really think she needs positive people in her life. 

 

GOAL # 3: HOOKAH IS FOR FUNSIES, NOT ANXIETY

Oof, this is the self-reflection week. I'm not looking forward to this, but here goes:

WEEK 2: Rethink the routine: Really try and figure out why the Hell I'm smoking at the times I'm smoking. Am I tired? Am I bored? Am I hungry? Write down those feelings and look at them later. There might be a pattern.

 

I don't know how much I smoked today, I think I'm on my 4th bowl because I really wasn't paying attention. What I've found is that I do this primarily when I need to do something with my hands at my desk because I am incredibly bored and want to taste something. Originally, smoking was something that I did so that I wouldn't binge eat. I smoke instead of being hungry, but when I'm awake and ready to do things and occupied, I don't really crave it. It's the down time where I go "Ya know, I could go with a flavor right about now." I should probably consider switching to chewing gum. 

 

 

IT ISN'T A GIF, BUT HERE HAVE SOME ART THAT I MADE A LONG TIME AGO!

Back in 2021, I worked an overnight job and I had time on my hands so I tried to do the Inktober challenge. It's where you draw in ink only (but a light pencil layer is acceptable as well IIRC.) I really enjoyed it, so I'm thinking I might try some things for Inktober this year as well. I usually end up abandoning it because I don't know what I'm going to do or I get art block or I don't post what it is I'm doing and I'm too embarrassed to try and catch up. BUT! Here is Inktober Day 6(?) 2021: Spirit

Artist tip: Pompoms mean I don't have to draw hands

 

TOTAL WINS: 3/3

[StarRuby]

MONDAY FUN DAY!

Just as a quick run down the day after. I did a good job yesterday - I met with some friends, found out what it'll cost to bring my mom to water aerobics with me, and I actually caught up on my reading. There wasn't much going on, but I also put in my grocery order at midnight. I have been handling my domestic nonsense - go me!

 

GOAL # 1: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE

WEEK 2: 64 ounces of water a day. 16 of those ounces have to be raw water. I gotta give my poor kidneys a dang break and quit drinking what is the equivalent of sugar-free KoolAid. 

Oof, I did not succeed yesterday, like, at all. I didn't even get to 64oz. I put ice in my big water bottle, thinking it would melt and I'd have nice, cold, 50oz of water and then I'd just need to drink 16. Well, guess what - the ice didn't melt. So I had no idea how much water I drank so I am calling it a wash. I know it wasn't 64oz, that's for dang sure. 

 

GOAL # 2: ALONE TIME AT THE GYM

WEEK 2:  Go to the YMCA 2x this week to exercise without a class. Thirty minutes minimum, but brownie points if I do more. 

I did not go to exercise by myself yesterday because I went to my water aerobics class! I got to see my friends, upgraded on the weights I used (which was a struggle but I did it!) and? JAN INVITED ME TO SCRABBLE ON TUESDAY! I'm so excited, I can't wait to meet her friends. 

 

GOAL # 3: HOOKAH IS FOR FUNSIES, NOT ANXIETY

WEEK 2: Rethink the routine: Really try and figure out why the Hell I'm smoking at the times I'm smoking. Am I tired? Am I bored? Am I hungry? Write down those feelings and look at them later. There might be a pattern.

Another day, another moment of not tracking how much I smoked. I definitely noticed that I reach for the hookah when I'm either bored or I want a flavor. Sometimes, when I feel the urge to binge eat, I reach for the hookah instead. My monthly goal for October was to cut down to 1x per week - which will be sad because I enjoy the people at the smoke shop. Maybe I can still go by and buy some stuff so I have a nicely stocked little personal hookah bar at home. 

 

FOR FUNSIES UPDATE!

Today is the first day of Inktober! Yaaaaaay! This year's theme seems very travel and wanderlust-flavored. Stay tuned, I might post some cool art on here, too!

 

TOTAL WINS: 2/3

 

[StarRuby]

TUESDAY: A Busy Bee Day

Oof, I over-booked myself and I might have made a questionable choice by doing that. Yesterday I was so overstimulated by the time that I got home for real I couldn't do much of anything. Had to skip one of my classes at the Y so that I could really just focus on getting my head and senses back together. But, I filled the day with wonderful things so I'm happy that I did it. 

 

GOAL # 1: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE

WEEK 2: 64 ounces of water a day. 16 of those ounces have to be raw water. I gotta give my poor kidneys a dang break and quit drinking what is the equivalent of sugar-free KoolAid. 

We... did not succeed on Tuesday. After giving the Big Boy Bottle a second try, it was great for classes, but not so great for reminding me how much water I drank, so we will be swapping back to the 16oz bottle. Still insulated and nice, but it's a lot easier to remember how much I've had. 4 bottles a day isn't hard to remember.

 

GOAL # 2: ALONE TIME AT THE GYM

WEEK 2:  Go to the YMCA 2x this week to exercise without a class. Thirty minutes minimum, but brownie points if I do more. 

Another day that I didn't do it alone... because, once again, I went with a friend to go do water aerobics! I don't normally do the Tuesday morning class, and I grabbed the heavy weights, which was a total mistake. We did arm exercises and I was NOT PREPARED FOR HOW HARD THAT WAS. She killed me. I was absolutely destroyed. Also, I found out my friend Carol (who I went to class with) is also autistic! Which we think is why we get along so well!

 

GOAL # 3: HOOKAH IS FOR FUNSIES, NOT ANXIETY

WEEK 2: Rethink the routine: Really try and figure out why the Hell I'm smoking at the times I'm smoking. Am I tired? Am I bored? Am I hungry? Write down those feelings and look at them later. There might be a pattern.

The pattern is definitely set. It's a combination of being bored, being on a transition time, and wanting to shove food in my face. I did not smoke past midnight (which was good, continue building on that!) and since I have SNAP funds I'm going to buy some gum today and some stuff to make little protein pack snacks to make sure I don't reach for the tobacco when instead my body is craving nutrients. 

 

AND NOW... Inktober!

Yesterday was the first day of Inktober and I present to you, my contribution to Inktober Day 1: Backpack. I took a photo of the picture I drew and then uploaded it to Instagram... and then took a screenshot of it and uploaded it here. I feel so old. LOL!

 

TOTAL WINS: 2/3

[StarRuby]

WEEK 2 REBOOT:

So! I was trying to do week two, got too busy, and forgot what I was supposed to be doing that week. Instead of posting the breakdowns of the each day, I'll just give the highlights

 

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY

THE GOOD

I was actually mindful about my smoking! I noticed the patterns and whatnot and how I was feeling/thinking each time I went for the hookah. So, for this challenge, I feel comfortable going on to the next week of the challenge. 

 

I also will be modifying the requirements for the exercise challenge because I have ben going to the Y all by my lonesome, but I like doing exercise classes and there's nothing wrong with that. I exercised six out of the seven days last week, but five of those days were taking classes (one day I even took TWO classes in one day.) I feel comfortable going on to the next challenge, but modifying it so that it will also include doing classes. I go because I want to go now, not because I feel obligated to go. 

 

The water? Hehehe, let's get to the next section.

THE BAD

GUESS WHO FORGOT TO HYDRATE ALL WEEK? My initial thought was that I would drink more if I drank out of my big water bottle so I knew I'd get 50oz out of it and would only need to drink 16 ounces to get to being over my goal. Whelp, guess what? That didn't work. I just straight up didn't drink the water. So, I'm transitioning back to my small bottle and my clear bottles (which happen to be cashed soda bottles) so I can see exactly how much water I've been drinking. I'm not moving on to the next challenge for water, because I didn't hit my goals - much less trying to move on to raw water. 

THE UGLY

I am anxious as all get out when I go to the pool now. Why, might you ask? Because my swimsuit is too stretched out and I'm convinced I'm gonna pop a boob out every time I jump. I don't have the cash right now to buy a new, non-stretched-out swimsuit, but I did get some clearance trunks so I'm not worried about losing my bottoms anymore. I'm gonna be wearing a sports bra until my top situation gets resolved. 

[Chesire]

Celebrating that you adapted and overcame the swimsuit situation to keep things going.  I assume you did it for Jan.

 

Is reworking the water bottle situation going ok?