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Ba Dum Tiss (Bad Joke Thread)


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Why? Can you hear, can you hear the thunder?

Well, I am 6'4" and full of muscles*

 

* Neither of these statements are true

  • Like 1

Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger

[ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ]

Spoiler

 

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

"I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk."

- Maurice Moss

 

 

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Clowns to the left...

This is especially funny to me considering my real name.

Level 2 Warforged Druid

STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3

"If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free."

Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown

Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead!

Battle Log: Clowning around daily

Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge

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This is especially funny to me considering my real name.

At first it was gonna be jokers to the left, but then I had to make sure the words were right so I looked it up, and I saw clowns to the left and it was all downhill from there. :-)

"Insanity - you make my world a better place man, you really do! That shit is awesome! :D" - Guzzi-

My first challenge

My battle Log: Insanity: Warrior Monk

Honorary Ranger dubbed by DarK_RaideR, 1000 Pound club (875 of 1000)

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I'm ten feet tall and bulletproof*

 

 

 

*actually true... kinda.

b0c41c9f6d10ff0c460f76dc4b9bffd8.jpg

  • Like 1

Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger

[ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ]

Spoiler

 

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

"I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk."

- Maurice Moss

 

 

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How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

 

That's alright, I'll just sit here in the dark...

  • Like 1

Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger

[ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ]

Spoiler

 

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

"I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk."

- Maurice Moss

 

 

Link to comment

If two vegans are having an argument, can it still be called a "beef?"

Apparently "Rhubarb" is a synonym for argument.... so there you go. :-)

 

http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/rhubarb

"Insanity - you make my world a better place man, you really do! That shit is awesome! :D" - Guzzi-

My first challenge

My battle Log: Insanity: Warrior Monk

Honorary Ranger dubbed by DarK_RaideR, 1000 Pound club (875 of 1000)

Link to comment

I've always been partial to "kerfuffle".

Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger

[ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ]

Spoiler

 

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

"I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk."

- Maurice Moss

 

 

Link to comment

How do you count your cattle?

 

 

 

With a cowculator.

  • Like 2

Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger

[ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ]

Spoiler

 

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

"I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk."

- Maurice Moss

 

 

Link to comment

What did the sad cow say?

 

 

 

 

 



Moo-hoo

  • Like 2

Level 2 Warforged Druid

STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3

"If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free."

Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown

Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead!

Battle Log: Clowning around daily

Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge

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*Knock knock*

"Who's there?"

"KGB"

"KGB wh-"

*SLAP*

"VE WILL ASK ZE QUESTIONS!"

  • Like 3

"There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged

| STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember

Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.115.2 |

Milythaels'  HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good.

It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories

"Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. 

"Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky

"Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings

"I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit

"If you do strange things, strange things will happen!"

"That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker

 

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Never mind, just a double post walking along.

"There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged

| STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember

Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.115.2 |

Milythaels'  HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good.

It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories

"Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. 

"Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky

"Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings

"I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit

"If you do strange things, strange things will happen!"

"That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker

 

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How do you catch a Unique Rabbit?

 

Unique up on him.

 

 

Do you know how to catch a polar bear?  You go out and cut a hole in the ice, and label the hole with a letter "S" with paint.  Then you open a can of peas, and you place them all around the hole.  Then when the polar bear comes up to take a pea you kick him in the S-hole.

  • Like 1
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How do you catch a Unique Rabbit?

Unique up on him.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way. Unique up on him.

  • Like 3

Level 32 Minifig Jedi Assassin

Current Challenge  | Battle Log | "Epic" Quest

Previous Challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6789101111.51213141516171819, 2021222324, 25, 262728293031323334

"A man who wants to do something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." -Stephan Dolley, Jr.

"You don't get stronger by skipping workouts." - me, to myself, about 3 times a week

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