Search the Community

Some days are difficult, everything is a fight and no win feels like a victory. Some days are easy, everything flows and smiling is no effort. Some days are empty, I don’t know where those ones go or how time manages to melt into the abyss unnoticed. Some days are full, a frantic maelstrom of stuff and things that don’t mean anything alone but add up to exhaustion together. And some days don’t pass at all, they linger in awful silence, stretching across weeks until the clouds finally move on and emotions creep back in. Healing is not an easy or linear process, it’s an active process that requires an unearthly amount of work and the threshold for a good day varies wildly. Overall, it’s not entirely surprising that I’m getting my ass thoroughly kicked by my mental health right now. Which why it’s time to start a new chapter and put the focus where it belongs. There are three general areas that need watching. The first, and most important, is self care. Everything from getting out of bed before 3pm to treating myself when need be to remembering to write down any appointments I need to keep. Anything and everything I do to ensure I’m a functional person, and maybe even a happy or comfortable person from time to time. The second is food. There has been a slow improvement here, but as with the recovery process as a whole, it has not been linear. The third and final is fitness. I’ve taken a step back from just about everything out of necessity. Anything that could possibly become something competitive has had to go as the sheer negative impact it had on my mindset was overwhelmingly… not good, to put it mildly. What I don’t want, however, is to have my fitness stagnate and vanish entirely. So I’m figuring that out also. None of this is really about chasing a goal or achievement, it’s more like a restoration of self. So we’ll see how it all goes.

I am back for another round with the Rangers. A little late to the party...but at least here, nonetheless. My last challenge kind of fell apart and went in a lot of different directions, but eventually evolved into a journey of self-reflection and discovery. I became a lot more aware of what I really wanted to prioritize and, perhaps more importantly, how that differed from how I actually spend my time every day. So my goal for this challenge is to start implementing that in a realistic manner. As much as I want to have a fiery intro to this challenge, as much as I want that inspirational "I am changing my entire life, right here, right now," as much as I want to just crash head first into this challenge with crazy goals...we are keeping it simple. This challenge is not going to focus on moving forward. This challenge is going to focus on rebuilding a foundation that will allow me to move forward in the future. Mental health has never been my strong suit. I am fairly good at a lot of things, but maintaining a healthy mental state is not one of those things. There are times where I do better with managing my issues, and times where I don't. This year has been a gradual decent into not really managing it well at all. And there are plenty of reasons for that, but regardless of those reasons, it is my responsibility to take care of myself and work to get back on track. No one else can do that for me. Lately, my mental health, and the escapism that accompanies it, has probably been the biggest obstacle for achieving my goals. Not only has it hampered my goals moving forward, but I have let it lapse to the point of affecting my physical health. So, getting back on top of habits that support managing my mental health is going to be a primary goal for this challenge. And that brings me to control. I am a person who feels a desperate need for control, and my worst choices are usually during times when I feel like I don't have control of my life (like right now, yay). Now, some of that is healthy (I think it is good for people to want to live intentionally and take the initiative to do what they want and what matters), and some of that is unhealthy (feeling anxious or depressed when you can't control everything). My goal for this challenge is to focus on building habits that give me a better sense of control in areas that I have control over, and learning to cope better with situations that I cannot control (instead of reverting to bad coping mechanisms and escapism). Control Goals: Control My Environment: Spend 5-10 minutes tidying each day Set Boundaries for My Health: Get to bed by midnight Control My Movement: 5-10 minutes of yoga or stretching each day Schedule for Food: ~ 16/8 Intermittent Fasting (11a-7p or 12p-8p depending on the day) Coping Goals: Learn/Self-Discover: Start working through CBT workbook for 15 min at least 3x a week Dance it Off: Continue attending new Hip Hop and Music Theater Dance classes Push Myself to do Uncomfortable Things: Run at least 2x per week in prep for first 5k in November (I have always been very bad at running and feel way out of my depth) EDIT: Oh! For those of you who don't know me, Hi! I am Aquarii. Ummmm, not really relevant facts include: I am 25, 5'10", left-handed, INTJ, questionably human. SECOND EDIT: Added IF to goals

It often seems like we have to fight for everything we get in life, and once we have it, something tries to take it away. Not that that’s always a bad thing, sometimes what we have is less than we deserve, dangerous, perhaps, or maybe something we’re better off leaving behind but have become attached to instead. But it isn’t personal. Chances are there isn’t any kind of something doing any kind of taking. It’s just a thing that happens. We assign meaning to it all by ourselves. I used to believe that everything happened for a reason, that the bad was always a lesson and the good was always a reward. I don’t believe that anymore. There’s a constant rhythm of pushing and pulling, a dance played out across nature conducted by an indifferent universe. Things happen because they happen, because that is the nature of life. It’s up to us what we make of it. It’s up to us what we do with it. I had this challenge all planned out and ready to go, and then the universe pulled. Now I have the threat of homelessness hanging above my head on top of everything else. And maybe this is something that will get resolved tomorrow, maybe my landlady will decide not to sell the flat after all, but until I know one way or the other I have to prepare myself for the worst outcome. But that is not the same as letting fear and anxiety rule my life. Right now it’s a waiting game. At some point I will get an answer and I either get the immense relief and embarrassment that comes with overreacting to something, or I get the information I need to make the appropriate arrangements. After all, even if it does come to the worst, it won’t be a permanent thing. Really, it means carrying on doing the best I can, striving to keep the little trickle of progress going. That was going to be the whole premise of this challenge anyway, but with the focus on the oncoming winter and how that usually leeches both happiness and drive away from me. This latest situation is just the latest pull, but I will keep pushing myself forward regardless. I’m not ready to give up just yet. These aren’t SMART goals, but they are adaptable ones and not too different from the direction I was originally going in. If the worst comes to the worst, I can continue on with the majority of these. If things turn out for the better, I can build on them and take the steps I originally wanted to. Goal One: Food After undeniably massive success with cutting out sugary junk, I’m taking the next step along to improving my diet. Sugar watch - Chocolate almond milk is allowed when I feel the need for the world’s cheapest mocha, plus a weekly non-dairy treat. But only if I feel like it, it’s not an essential, nor is it a reward. Veggies - The current NHS RDA is 5-10 portions of veg a day. I thought that was a lot until I found out that a portion is 80g. Regardless, I will have five portions minimum daily. Goal Two: Movement It turns out that daily walks are not always doable for me, but exercising whilst not leaving the flat is far more agreeable when I’m in a low mood. Therefore I will be capitalising on that (but if I can walk, I will walk). Yoga - I’m keeping the short daily sessions and adding in two extended sessions weekly. Either I’ll follow an NF yoga video or I’ll string together several short sessions to make something longer. No strict guidelines here, just as long as it happens. Mobility - Wrist mobility exercises three times weekly. I have truly awful wrist mobility and it makes so many things more difficult than they need to be, for example I actually cannot do push-ups with my hands flat on the floor, my wrists just do not bend that far yet. Primal movement - Something else to help my sub-par mobility. To begin with I’ll be focusing on two things. First, the simple squat. That’s something I’m going to incorporate at work. Whenever I need to spend time reducing/stocking the lowest shelves, I will settle myself into a squat rather than subject myself to knee pain by kneeling. Second will be the just as simple dead hang. At the end of every day I’ll spend a little time hanging off of my pull-up bar, not until failure, but until near failure. No time limit yet. I'm also not ruling out doing bear crawl/duck walk laps of my flat when I've been sitting still for too long... Goal Three: Recovery I think this could also be called self-defence right now, I’m working on protecting me from myself… Meditation - Continue the daily habit, but also branch out, try new techniques and do more reading on the subject. People - The worse my anxiety and depression get, the more I want to pull back and isolate despite knowing that that only does more damage. I do need to balance this, however, as too much will overwhelm me fast. So I’m going to commit to being more active within the Druids and check in with other people on a weekly basis at the very least. Positivity - A lot of what I have written is heavily flavoured by my current negative mood. I do not want that to become the norm. At all. I want to be able to find the positives, to speak about them, to live them. So I will. I will make an effort to put at least one positive in every update, no matter how small it may seem. And that is that. Fortunately I’ve got the whole of zero week off of work, and I fully intend to spend it calming myself down and allowing myself to relax. All going well, I’ll get the answers I need before the week is up and at the very least that will remove the anxiety caused by waiting and not knowing. For the rest of zero week I will make the effort to check in daily.

I learned a lot last challenge, and not all of it was good. The goal I've had for over fifteen years, the one of being 'fixed', of being free of mental illness, is more likely than not something that I will never see accomplished. More than that, at the moment it's a desperate and damaging dream that's been causing me more harm than good to hold on to. So I need to let go. There are more important things to focus on, things more realistically achievable, things that will be good for me mentally and physically, and hey, maybe even spiritually. And to work towards those things, I need to let go of that mouldering old comfort blanket that really isn't a comfort blanket at all, more like an anchor. I need to stop letting that block my progress before I can even start. It might sound like a dour note to start out on, but for me even just typing that out was surprisingly freeing. Any big picture, major kind of goals will have to wait though. Right now I'm still picking up the pieces of my latest rough patch and learning how to function again. Last time around I feel I made a good start, all things considered, and now I need to try and move things alone. So that's what this is, another little step towards being a functional, slightly healthier person. Walk: Last time around I was extremely loose with the rules about this, and while it did work after a fashion, it also allowed for laziness to seep in. This time around I'm trying to prevent that and keep things enjoyable for myself. Daily Minimum twenty minutes If sticking to the minimum, find a hill or some stairs Run: I don't like running, I'll admit, but I have a Spartan Sprint in September (the week after this challenge is over), so I need to pick up running again for just a little while in order to get through that. I'm not aiming for a good time, nor am I trying to get injured before I even get a chance to race, so I'm playing as safe as I feel I can get away with. Twice weekly 3km minimum Longer or more often is fine ONLY IF I feel able Yoga: Upping the frequency this time around, and adding some variation to keep things interesting. I've collected a handful of short routines that I enjoy to do just that. Not that I find my never ending battle to successfully do pigeon pose uninteresting, but still... Daily (morning if possible) On days off work string together two or more routines On running days add in some mobility work Hydration: Going from 2L to 3L daily. I think 2L is just fine for normal day to day life, for me anyway, but it is inadequate for the back to back heatwaves we're experiencing. Food: Time to cut out the junk and weather the storm of sugar withdrawal. No fizzy drinks, no cake, no chocolate, no sweets, nothing like that at all. Fact is, most of the time I get no particular enjoyment about consuming those things, in fact I often feel fairly awful because of the lactose content of said junk food. And whenever I've cut it out before, I've felt better. So I'm going cold turkey. No exceptions will be made as I don't trust myself to moderate properly. Meditation: Given the good it did me last time, it'd be just plain stupid not to include a meditation goal to try and keep up the habit. Daily Anything goes But maybe read a couple of meditation books anyway Record the results ======= Unofficial Zero Week Goals: Get the flat tidy again. Make preparations for the official start of the challenge (ensure I have enough bottled water for work, designate running days etc). Clear the donate/dump/sell pile sitting in my living room. ======= And that's it. A little step up from before, simple enough that I won't get tangled up and let things slip away completely when things get difficult. Because things will get difficult, that's just life, and I intend to carry on anyway.

Hi everybody! I missed you <3 So, I've been away for a bit because I've fallen off the wagon. Big time. I started dieting again: counting kcal, fasting, over exercising. Just pushing myself way too hard. *actual footage of my feelings On top of that life happened (details on why my life sucked really hard 1,5 weeks ago in the spoiler) So anyways I started skipping dance lessons. I stopped practicing dance at home. And I spent way too much time playing the sims and not so much doing chores and work. I had to quit dancing early yesterday because I just couldn't. I couldn't remember the steps, I felt so tired and lethargic. On the bike ride home I realized something needed to change. So now I'm back. And the title of this challenge? It's because of this youtube video I just watched while my intestines were throwing a tantrum in the bathroom (seriously, my body is not happy) My goal for this challenge is to get my life back together. To get healthy, regain my sanity and just feel great again. 1. Make todo lists These have always been a life saver for me. They keep me from becoming overwhelmed. I want to get back on top of my work and keeping the house in slightly less disarray. 2. DANCE! Practice my routines twice a week before my home workout. Don't miss practice again, unless I'm actually sick or out of town. 3. Home workouts They make me feel great and help improve my dancing. I'm going to do them twice a week, AND NO MORE THAN THAT! Duration: 30-40 minutes. If I'm not feeling good I can scale them down to 10-15 minutes, lower the intensity or just dance for a few minutes. 4. Gentle nutrition Why did I ever stop eating intuitively? I'm rejoining the NF Intuitive Eating group to learn and to share what I know. The tracking apps are deleted of my phone, my fitbit is in the back of my nightstand drawer (trust me, it's impossible to find anything there )

Okay, a big part of the reason I've not been around for a couple of challenges is because it's been filling me with quite a bit of stress and anxiety to explain everything that is going on with me right now. Things have progressed to a point that is no longer the case but quite a lot has happened so I'm going to just dump it all out there. Don't be afraid to ask questions! Physical Ups and downs happening in the physical department. I've gotten really frickin strong! My bench press has gone over 200lbs (92kg) and my deadlift PR currently sits at 190kg (approx 419lbs). Kind of really happy. On the other hand my running has suffered quite a bit because of what this challenge is going to focus on: injury. I'm currently injured. I've been feeling a pain in my left calf. Pretty low level whilst running but when I stop running it really really hurts. So I've been taking a lot of rest recently in order to try and get rid of that happening for the two big races of the spring season (which happened over the last 2 weeks). In a quirk of fate during RRDW, a race that was an easy 13 mile ocr that I was running with @iatetheyeti, @Rhovaniel, @Charlie_Quinn and @Jarric. I was taking it very easy and just enjoying myself. I took a bad step while going up a mound and felt the calf in my right leg (the one that hadn't been hurting) snap. I went down got back up and found that I could no longer walk without excruciating pain. Sincerely not the kind of pain that I could have carried on with. So that was my first DNF. My sincerest thanks to Yeti, Rho and CQ for getting help and getting me out safely , Yeti and Rho for coddling me in camp that night (and going to get me waffles!) and to @Jarric for the lift home. Despite this and being unable to walk for 2 days it healed miraculously fast and I ended up running a race a week later. I didn't think I would be running that race at all and I was able to do it relatively pain free. Nonetheless I also managed to sprain my ankle in the last few miles and there is that going on as well. So no running this challenge at all. I will probably start using the bike at the gym at some point. Goal 1: Do rehab exercises every day. Mental To anyone following my challenges recently it'll come as no surprise for me to say that my mental health went downhill very fast. I hit rock bottom about 2 weeks ago and was forced by a concerned Ranger to go and see my doctor. So I was signed off of work for a little while and given medication. The anxiety medication has had the side effect of fixing my sleep issues. I'm feeling better than I was now. Far from good but better. Goal 2: Talk. Update here every day even if I don't have much to say. Nutrition This has taken a nosedive as well. Right now I don't have much energy to expend to this topic so I'll keep it simple: Goal 3: Eat one healthy meal a day.

Tzippi Tastes the Vinegar If you've read the Tao of Pooh (and if you haven't, consider it!), you might remember the allegorical image referenced at the beginning of the Vinegar Tasters, in which three men taste from the same vat of vinegar, one tasting sourness, one bitterness, and one sweetness. These three are representations of the three major religions/philosophies of China, Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism. The vinegar is life, and the men each taste it differently. Tai Chi, which I have begun studying and is a hugely positive practice in my life, is largely based on Taoist philosophy. I'm not going to get very deep into Confucianism, Buddhism, or Taoism, as I am at best a tourist and at worst completely ignorant of them. Instead, I am going to use my battered copy of The Tao of Pooh to look at what I want to do in my life, as I get a little deeper into my goals, study of Tai Chi, and continue to grow and refine. The "theme" of this challenge is halfway between using the three vinegar tasters as my models and metaphor, and using the characters from the Hundred-Acre Woods as the same. Taking my inspiration from the inimitable @sarakingdom and @Mistr, I am building on last challenge's success by adding tiny incremental goals to enhance my new habits, rather than adding a million new ones. “Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.” Body and mind - * Continue to support my Tai Chi practice with daily work, whether class, Tai Chi practice, or some other exercise. * Once per week, one weight workout or long walk/hike. Could be body weight, or a hammer. Poetry and Hums - * Continue with daily (more often nightly) five-minute+ meditation. Got Calm subscription, starting with the Pooh meditations. * Using my MyOmer App, count the omer every evening. * Once per week, one longer meditation. Try different stuff, report and review here. I may start with metta meditation: Rumbly in my Tumbly - * Three servings of vegetables a day. * Plant more stuff in the garden. Herbs? Will it get warm enough for cukes, zucchs, and tomatoes?

I think I might battle-log it up this round. I’d like to go rock climbing more, or do some other intentional physical activity besides softball, maybe once a week or so; but, who knows. My mental health is on a downswing, so everything is hard right now. But I still want to try and be here, even if it’s sporadic. I kinda love you guys.

I'm learning an uncomfortable truth: though my mood is loads better, all the other symptoms of depression still remain. Low energy, difficulty focusing, little interest in things. My improved mood is a godsend, cos I would not survive if I still felt as bad as last fall. But now, among other things, I need to cultivate some self-discipline, cos I've never really learned to do that... And now is the time when I really need it, while I'm trying to succeed in school instead of just scraping by AND trying to put some distance between myself and that terrifying darkness. So, no matter how many times I fall, I'll keep on trying. Cos I have to. For the sake of my health and well-being. FOR THE SAKE OF MY HEALTH - batch cook on weekends - work on homework a little every day once it's assigned - exercise 2 times per week - do some chores for 5 minutes every evening m-f - maybe some kind of journaling goal? TBD Reward for meeting exercise goal: Spiderman Compression shirt, or possibly a new backpack.

hey guys, it's been awhile, huh? 2018 was a really tumultuous year for me. i graduated from university! finally! but it was overshadowed when my father unexpectedly passed away a week before the ceremony. i'm doing the best i can, and i'd like to get my life moving in a better direction. but simple and achievable is what i want so: -1 minute of daily meditation -weekly reflection -1 thing that's solely self indulgent per week. this is a way to help me find a happier equilibrium, i'll see how i'm doing at the end of the challenge and either find new goals or repeat these ones if i feel like it's the best call. simple, small, sustainable self care. that's the goal

Depression is a bitch. I need to make it MY bitch. After I complained to my therapist (a lot) about the fact that I can't bring myself to care about challenge goals even though I want to make all kinds of positive changes and actually care about myself, she pointed out that depression makes it hard to think/care about the future. In retrospect... duh? So apparently I need to work on not being quite so depressed if I want to make progress on anything else. Boring. Daily Goals (tracker): Take a fucking shower. Eat a fucking plant. Do some fucking stretches. If it takes under 5 minutes to do, do the fucking thing. There are a million and one things I could be working on, but these 4 feel like the most effective attacks against the things that hold me back. We'll see. Currently making a list of extra credit things I can do to improve how I feel but I really need to focus on these. I'm super fucking pissed that I'm at a point in life where I need to make it a goal to shower every day, but such is life. This post and my glorious return by the fact that I have therapy tomorrow and for some reason my therapist disapproves of living in a depression cave and keeps asking about the last time I talked to my friends; turns out "uhhhh..." isn't a great answer. (Sorry.) Also, is it just me or is the Rebel GL position the NF equivalent of the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher??

The Ranger drops the hood of her cloak as she approaches the hilltop cabin. Already, the serenity of the area washes over her, easing the anxiety that has built up over the past...weeks? Months? No. Years is more like it, though only recently have the flood gates opened on it all. She quietly enters the cabin and, after taking off her traveling gear, finds a comfy spot near the fireplace. The cabin's host brings her a mug of hot tea, which she graciously accepts. Closing her eyes, she takes a deep, restorative breath. "Finally..." The full context is a long, long story, but ultimately, it boils down to the fact that I've spent far too long giving up far too much of myself for others, with little to nothing in return. It finally came to a head last month and I've basically been in emotional pain and turmoil ever since. It's affected pretty much all aspects of my quality of life and has been a large hinderance in getting back to any kind of workout routine. So, I've decided to come visit for this challenge (and probably at least the next one, or however many I feel I need). I really only have one goal for this time: engage in some form of meditation every day and build that habit. Said meditation can be "moving meditation" (I have both a couple of Tai Chi DVDs and several yoga resources) or more "conventional" meditation, but the goal is to take 5-30 minutes or so each day to just...stop (particularly mentally) and work on me and my wellbeing and -- even if only for that block of time -- not have to fight, and be able to let go of all that is troubling me right now, and to just be.

I Am Awesome My name is Jonathan and I am awesome I cannot even express how hard that statement is for me to write, let alone mean. This is going to be a departure from my normal challenges because I don't think they are useful to me at the moment. Fair warning, some of this stuff might get a little deep. One thing that those people that know me really well will already know is that I find it really hard to take a compliment. Indeed I find it impossible to take a compliment. Even harder still I find it impossible to give myself any worth or to believe that I am worth anything to anyone else. It may or may not have come to anyone's attention that I tend to deflect compliments. I'll disagree or manuviour my way around them. Those of you who have followed me for any period of time will also know that I'm really freaking confident in my own abilities. My ability to push myself and my ability to set myself a huge monumental goal and hit it. I often find it very hard to reconcile these two viewpoints of myself. It boils down to this. I have a lot of confidence in what I can do. I have a very low view of myself as a person. This challenge idea came to be after something really horrible happened. During a conversation with @Mr_Willes and @Charlie_Quinn some really, really nice things were said about me. Enough to make me well, if I'm honest. Rather than simply accepting the compliment my brain had an absolute melt down with it. Perpetuating my own feeling that I am simply a terrible person for having that reaction to them. I've spent a lot of the last few days thinking and talking this out with various people. With some very frank and open discussions about it along the way. I don't like myself very much. The purpose of this challenge is to challenge that perception of myself. That isn't a S.M.A.R.T goal or anything that is easily measured so I'm going to formalise this ever so slightly. Say Something Positive Say something positive about myself. Thanks to some very very good friends of mine I have been inundated with nice comments recently and I've got a lot to go with. The goal is as stated. Just say something nice about myself every single day. If I can qualify it all the better. Challenge the Negative. Identify and and challenge a negative thought about myself once per week of the challenge. I don't expect this to be easy. Life Habits I'm struggling with keeping my head above water in my life right now but there are a couple of small changes in habit that I want to make. Organise: I've got a daily planner. I want to get into a habit of using the planner to keep myself in check. Meditate: 5 minutes a day. Read: A little every day for no other purpose than entertainment. I started The Hobbit this morning. It is old familiar and easy to read. This is my challenge. I'm tempted to add the other things that I will be continuing with. Weight loss and exercise but I'm just not going to. Those things will be happening and I will probably talk about them but they are not what I need to work on right now.

I’ve never done a daily battle log thread, and I’m not sure if I’m going to use it “properly” as I’ll most likely be doing the bulk of my updates in my four week challenges. But I wanted to start a thread I could refer back to regarding my big picture, year long goals of what I want to achieve by the end of 2019, and updates of how I’m moving forward towards them. If I’m not doing a challenge (missed the start date, felt like too much pressure, Ect) I’ll try to keep updating in here to keep momentum going. The title is a reference to the fact that due to my synesthesia (associating colors and numbers) 2019 is a very nice bright shade of yellow. So I’m going to make it a good year. My big goals: Atain a B1 level in French I have many reasons for this, practical and personal. I live in an area that’s bilingual French/English. More than Half of the customers at my job speak French. My coworkers first languages are all French. I am able to get by because my small town is pretty anglophone and almost everyone ALSO speaks at least a little English (and I have about a two year olds ability in French and we get by) But there’s definitely like 15% of our customers that don’t speak any English and I struggle. I want to be able to really serve our full customer base in a complete way. I’m sick of having to ask coworkers to help me translate things. Since I’ve started working there, job descriptions have come to say “bilingual French/English mandatory” I’m not going to LOSE my job over this, but it’s telling to know that if I was reapplying to my job now, I wouldn’t get hired. I have one coworker who hates me, and one of the things she complains about is my lack of French. I want to prove her wrong (petty reasons count!) I have a friend who is francophone and although her English is fantastic, I want to talk with her in her FIRST language. Also her family only speaks French and her mom just seems SO NICE and I want to talk to her SO BADLY??! My area is pretty anglophone but the town nearby where ALL the fun things are is super francophone. I want to go take art classes and parkour classes and all this super fun classes and workshops but they are all in French. I set B1 as my level goal because it will be a comfortable level for conversing and functioning, and also because a B1 score is usually a requirement for college studies and if I decide to go take some courses at the CÉGEP I’ll need that level of proficiency. On a bigger picture note, I’ve always wanted to be fluent in at minimum five languages. French was never on that list, but given where I’m living now, it seems only logical that it become one of my five languages. So working on this goal is working towards my big picture life long “who I want to be as a person” goals. Improve my mental health I wish I had a better SMART goal for this, but I’m kind of new to the idea of my mental health and I don’t really know what specific things I can work towards. This wasn’t really something I’d realized I needed to work on until recently. I had a really, really bad last summer. One of my friends has been saying for the last two years that I should really consider therapy (one late, sleep deprived night she got me talking about stuff I don’t usually discuss. I told her like 2% of my history and she was like “sweetheart that’s some pretty serious trauma” and I was thinking lol yikes that’s nothing.) I finally caved and went to a psychologist and I found out I really do have a lot of things to work on (apparently having suicidal thoughts multiple times every day is not something everyone does?) I’ve been diagnosed with C-PTSD which is a subtype of ptsd, and the treatment is very long but there IS treatment. For years I’ve oscillated between “there’s nothing wrong with me” and “I’m so fundamentally flawed there’s not point in trying to fix it” but I’ve finally come to “there’s definitely stuff wrong, but I can do something about it” I don’t really have any specific goals, but it’s important to me that I keep working and making steps toward improving in this area. This past summer was very bad and I barely survived it. I don’t want to slide back to that again. Loose set of ongoing goals: Continue going to therapy regirally Stick with/improve my meditation habit Have regular, ideally daily, physical activity that involves skill-building Pursue potential medication (this is nearly always an early part of treatment to go on meds temporarily until the skills to cope are developed in therapy- I’ve hated the idea of meds but as part of a bigger picture treatment, I’m trying to be more open) Get a pet or volunteer with animals Cultivate my friendships Increase my cardio to be able to run for one hour straight This one isn’t really a running goal, but the running aspect is more of a benchmark to test. I do enjoy running, but I wouldn’t call myself a “runner” as my main sport. However, cardio is my weak area in everything I do (parkour, staff spinning, hockey) I hate having to stop my skill practice because I’m wheezing. I want to improve my stamina both by doing these sports more intensely and also by running, to the point where I can run for one hour straight without having to stop for a walk break. I know I can accomplish this easily in this year if I don’t slack, as when I finished zombies run 5k, I was running 50 minutes straight, and that’s an 8 week program. I haven’t run in like....months so I’m starting from scratch, but I can do it. Since I’ve moved to the frozen north, my outdoor sport has been basically zero for 9 months of the year, and that’s not enough to build stamina. I’ve now bought myself some solid winter outdoor gear and I’m ready to start just going out there anyway. Restart and complete zombies run 5k Do lots of stamina skate drills Basically if it’s warmer than -16 and the wind isn’t blowing, I GO. Develop some plan for when it IS colder than -16 and still doing SOMETHING inside to keep the habit flowing. Finally get my splits Getting full front splits (striving towards middle splits too, but I’m farther away in that one) is my specific and measurable goal. I’m about six inches off with my left leg and four inches off with my right. I think this is realistic and attainable in a year. Big picture reasons for this is that I need to stretch every day for injury prevention. I’m super, super tight in my entire body but mostly hips and shoulders. Because of this my body is not very resilient to issues in my sports and the slightest mishap can cause injury and it’s super frustrating. (Also, I learned that this muscle tightness is a symptom of my C-PTSD and regular stretching is part of my treatment plan so it’s also working on goal number 2. Multitasking for the win!) Envoyé de mon iPhone en utilisant Tapatalk

A little on the late side (I wanted to make this a five week challenge), but present nonetheless! 2018 in brief: Not good, bad headspace, poor race performance, injury, frustration. This will NOT be 2019. I'm putting my foot down right now. I refuse to have yet another year like that. I think I've organised myself into a good starting point for it all. I've broken open a new battle log to keep track of the bulk of my physical and nutritional endeavours, and I'm keeping my challenges specific to skill work, mental health related goals, and trying brand new things. (...I suspect the two logs will blur together from time to time because that's just how life is, really) January has dawned and somehow everything seems a lot bigger and more challenging this side of the barrier. There's a part of me that wants to do the grand resolution thing, and I guess in a way I already have kind of done that in my battle log, but I know that's not how I'm going to bring myself success this year. I have my big goals and then I have my smaller goals, and it's the latter I need to focus on first. Little goals broken down further into bite-sized chunks. Easy to digest, easy to implement change. That's what this challenge is, and that's what my remaining winter challenges will likely be. A return to a tried and tested format. Nothing exciting, hopefully nothing too dramatic, just a few small steps in the right direction. Goal One: Structure I'm keeping my workout schedule of M/W/F strength/bodyweight and T/T running as right now it feels good. This can and probably will change later down the line, but while I'm re-establishing my baseline I don't see any reason to get rid of what is currently working. Added into this is a daily calorie goal of 2000. This is as much to prevent under-eating as anything else, something which I'm prone to of late, and is a reasonably flexible target depending on just how much I'm doing on any given day. For example, any heavy activity days (an eight hour shift plus a run, or a cycle commute, a six hour shift, and a strength workout) are going to require more in the tank. This is also a call for me to log everything so I can get a clearer picture of just what is going on in my diet right now. I'm not going to make any major changes this month, this is going to be an observational period. Aims Workouts to take place before work/early morning whenever possible Daily intake is to be logged and NOT obsessed over Apply the 'never miss two in a row' principle to both food and exercise Goal Two: Pull-ups I for sure won't be able to do one this month, but why should I let that stop me putting the work in? I have a number of sources giving me a wide variety of ways to work up build up exercises, so there's no excuse here. Aims Daily deadhang practice. Bonus goal: find a new max hang time by the end of the challenge Add pull-up skill work to two workouts weekly Goal Three: Positivity I am a master of self-sabotage. Fortunately I am also a master of recognising my own bullshit, if not so great at putting a stop to it. This is a step to do just that which requires only two things. Aims AM meditation, preferably after I've and a coffee otherwise it will be mostly morning snark. Just a short period, under five minutes, with a focus on how I want the day to pan out Daily mantra. Until now my daily mantras have been things like 'today will be crappy' or 'I can't wait for this to be over so I can go back to bed'. That doesn't help anyone. Not me, not the people who have to listen to me whinge and moan. These negative mantras will be replaced with positive ones, and I will say them until I believe them. 'Today will be crappy' could easily turn into 'today I have an opportunity to prove myself at/with/to X' or something along those lines. Bonus task: Positive self talk. Like the mantras, I'm very good at putting myself down and casting a negative light on myself and my performance. That has to stop. It isn't just messing with my mind, it's messing with my training. So, like the above, I will turn all negatives into positives. And, uh, that's it. I'm keeping it as simple as I can because I don't want to overwhelm myself, especially not on the first challenge of the year, especially not during the dead of winter. This time of year is never a good time for me, so it makes perfect sense (to me) to be focusing more on the mental health side of things. I am also making as much of an effort as I can to be more present and not isolate (which I absolutely did over the festive period and that didn't go so well), so am committing myself to daily updates no matter what.

*plunks* well, THAT was the most fun year I never want to have again. 2018 was... a rough, gross, terrible year for me, even apart from the general chaos that seems to have sprung forth the last few years in everyone's collective lives. It started out with losing my grandpa suddenly to massive heart failure the day I got back home from family holidays that he and Grandma didn't make it down for, and I wound up unemployed due to budget cuts at my local school district (I didn't get laid off, but it was a situation where I felt like if I didn't take the buyout offer I was looking at the possibility of getting laid off and not getting a nice jump off point for finding a new job with said buyout. They let us know that if 4 people didn't quit, layoffs were coming.) And unemployment / job hunting is much less fun than it sounds, and I'm aware that it even sounds like shit. On top of which general shittyness, my ADHD, anxiety and depression all decided to have a party. Thankfully, in November I found a decent paying job, the first one I've ever had that actually uses even part of my degree (that piece of paper I'm still paying for? Yeah, that one) about 45 minutes from where I live, and today I found what I hope will be my new apartment in that town if all goes well with my application to said apartment. So I'm cautiously optimistic that maybe, possibly, hopefully 2019 might be slightly less horrific. So as long as nothing else blows up in my face and draws my entire attention again, I'll look forward to actually respawning with challenges here in the new year.

Hello everybody. My name is Shannon, and I've been a rebel for many years and an adventurer for quite a while. Feel free to look through my battle log if you'd like more backstory. I go by Annyshay around these parts as well as at 4thewords,com, which is a website that gameifies writing using a typical hero's journey RPG with monster battles in the world of Oge Mai. I stumbled across this website a little less than a year ago, and it has been a great addition to my routine. I figured that it would be a good time to play around with a challenge theme from it because I'm going to attempt my first real NaNoWriMo come November. That means that I'm going to be battling quite a few monsters. So, I figure that I will update with my writing progress as well as the mental health goals that I keep going. I may put more structure into the challenge going forward or I may not because it's my challenge and I do what I want.

So for any of you who haven't been following along with the sad saga of Fonzico, I'll recap. I'm stressed AF. My job is a gong show. I am on a year long temporary contract in a position that I really thought I wanted... until I found out that my boss was awful (just constant belittling and microaggression, but never to the point that it sounded like anything if you were to try to bring a complaint forward.) And then the forces that be laid her off... which was good in the sense that I don't cry about work anymore. But bad in the sense that as much as she was a terrible boss, she did actually get work done, and in no way has that man power been replaced. There's a number of other issues with the changes that have been made in my department, but the primary concern is too much work and not enough staff. Also a boss who was saddled with us, who has no idea what we do. Then my contract got extended, so now I'm in this boat until December. Instead of slightly less that 2 weeks from now. When it's up, I get to go back to my old job, which has its pro and cons versus this one, but ultimately will be WAY less stressful and most importantly, can be left at work. Also, my coworker quit, so I also have to train someone new and do all of the work she was doing. Which isn't really possible, so I'll inevitably feel inadequate in the interim. Anyways. That's my major angst right now. It's taking a toll on my mental well-being, so this challenge is all about staying sane. I'll just have 2 weeks left to go by the time this challenge is over! Goal number one: Keep up on the domestic rangering. I absolutely feel the most calm at home when it's tidy. I admit, I'm still trying to fully formulate this goal, but the crux is that if I can keep on top of the kitchen, the living room and the laundry, I will be so much less stressed, and actually able to relax. Neither my hubby nor I are naturally tidy people. We've been living together for roughly 14 years and I AM very proud of how far we've come in our baseline level of cleanliness. So really, the extra steps necessary to keep it just a little bit better are really not that much to ask. For this week, I'm going to try to at least work on one of the three areas each evening, and we'll see how that goes. Goal number two: Workout. Yeah. Get those endorphins going! Minimum goal is 1x per week - I'm back in kettlebell classes, so that's doable. I'm still travelling a lot for work, so it's not really reasonable to demand more than that, but bonus point if I can make a 2nd class in a week, and another bonus point if I do some other kind of workout. Goal number three: Take your damn vitamins. Especially with the early winter we've gotten here, I NEED to be taking vitamin d, and I also try to take magnesium. No excuses for not doing this daily. Come on. Goal number four: Mental Health Goal of the Week. Every week I'm going to set a new goal for this, try it out, see if I like it, see what sticks. I have a list of possible ideas. Bonus efforts: Anything else that I do that contributes to my mental wellbeing gets a bonus point. I have another list for this (which has some cross over with the previous list), but I just want to reward myself for any small steps. In addition to all of the above, I'm still trying to follow a keto diet plan, and lose some weight. My primary focus is on mental health though. MENTAL HEALTH GOAL OF THE WEEK #1: Try to follow an evening routine. I'm less concerned with this being the same thing every day, and more so with trying to make a conscious effort to end my day mindfully and in a way that promotes good sleep. My thoughts to start are: tea and BuJo, mediate, and then read (from an actual book - I usually read books on my phone before bed, which I KNOW is a deplorable habit.). We'll see how it goes and adjust as needed.

You know that feeling, you rediscover an old game and can't wait to be nostalgic and jump back in, and then the save file is corrupted? Welcome to my life. Okay, I'm being dramatic. It's been a long, long while since I've checked in, and a lot of things have happened, some good and some bad, but that's life. It left me at my lowest point a few weeks back, and now it's time to reboot and start a new file that will be even better than the old one. Because of this reboot/respawn, I'm going back to the level 1s. This challenge will serve to help me figure out where to set my priorities, so there won't be hours of exercise every day, but we'll get there. Main goal: Reboot. Figure out where I am in life, where I want to set my priorities in the long and short term, focusing on the short term since, as you'll find out, my life is in a bit of uncertain waters at the moment. Goal 1: Get the systems up and running. Literally run. However, to ease into it, I just want to run on the elliptical. We have it at home and nobody ever uses it, so I want to. I'm not going to set myself a goal like "an hour every day", but ideally I want to be on the elliptical every morning before work, so mon-fri. Let's call that my stretch goal. Goal 2: Twiddle with the settings. Track things. What things? ALL THE THINGS. I just bought new stationary and a new phone with all new apps (cause it's just so boring to not try new things when you get a new phone, right?) and there are SO. MANY. TRACKING TOOLS. Now, not everything's gonna work. While I would love to be that person who has everything planned out, that also goes against my nature a bit. So this is the time to try and see what works for me. I will make sure to share the apps and things I try, and how I like them - although please be aware that they will be very subjective reviews. Goal 3: Distract myself while I wait for things to load. Do projects at work. Projects currently on my list: New filing system. Work through the old to do list items. Create a wedding master list. Sort through ALL the old things. New mailbox. (I made a TL;DR since the below turned a bit long and off topic!) Workworkworkworkwork. I've just started a new job as a personal assistant and very probably will soon have an additional job as a CEO of a small company. Super exciting, right? My last job was extremely horrible. So horrible that I was on sick leave for two and a half months. However, it has also been the straw that broke the camel's back in a good way, as it left me with no option but to cry for help. I got that help. It's a process and I still battle with depression and anxiety, but it lead me to where I am now, which is an absolutely amazing company full of incredibly kind and funny nerds, and I know that my reaching out for help was part of the reason I was hired. I just read a book called "White Silence" by Jodi Taylor (who is an amazingly talented author and everyone should read the St. Mary's Chronicles, just saying!) and there was one quote that stuck with me. I believe I am one of those people. Whether that is the case because I am who I am, or whether I am who I am because things happen to me, I don't know. But while not all of those things are amazing, I love to live this way and am super grateful because it has lead me along a very eventful path. Aaaaanyway. Due to the nature of my work as a personal assistant, there are very busy times but also a lot of downtimes, especially since I'm still new. I want to use these down times by making projects that will make my boss' life - and thereby mine - easier. So here we go! I've had posts with more gifs but I'm gonna start this clean and post the trackers/things I want to track below. :)

Hullo there, fellow hobbits and adventurers! As a warning to some who might not be comfortable with this, my challenge will be dealing with a lot of spiritual challenges in my Catholic faith life. If you don't wish to read about such topics, I suggest that you move on to other threads. At the same time, I do value and welcome support from any who wish to join me on my journey! My name is Hollybell Took, and I live in the rolling hills of the Shire, also known as southern Minnesota. I have had a rather tough time during the past few months as I have battled depression, a binge-eating disorder, horrendous school politics in my teaching job, and a break-up with the man I love most in all the world. Most of all, I have been realizing how out-of-balance my life has become. My goal has always been to keep my faith at the very center of my life, but I feel as though I have neglected my faith for far too long, which feeds into my mental health challenges. A sick spiritual life and mental illness easily contribute to an unhealthy physical life as well. Lol, as I was typing this, my roommate's cat stretched her paw onto my keyboard and opened an incognito tab. Perhaps the movie Cats and Dogs was onto something? Because of my incredibly hectic teaching schedule (even more hectic than normal teachers) for 9 months of the year, I decided that trying to make a challenge fit into the usual four-week slot just isn't helpful for me at this time. This is my first actual week of summer break, and I want my challenge to stretch out for the next 12 weeks until I return to work. That sounds pretty ambitious, but I have goals set out with several checkpoints to help me keep track of my progress along the way. I am also requiring myself to seek assistance from others who can help me reach my goals. After all, Frodo couldn't take the Ring to Mordor on his own. He needed help from a variety of different people with unique knowledge and skills. I intend to follow his example by using the friends and guides I have met over the years to help me make this summer the final hurdle I need to overcome in order to achieve a stable life and get back on the path towards sainthood. I am targeting five specific areas to work on throughout the summer, and I made sure that the action steps I take will help with multiple target areas at once. Rather than make a specific plan like "I want to lose 30 pounds by doing x, y, and z", my goals are designed to help me look at the bigger picture, to regain my perspective on life, and to gain the skills needed to improve my life in the long-term. Mental Health Take daily antidepressants and begin taking medication for eating disorder. I only just started treating my depression about two months ago. Wow, I never realized how helpful anti-depressants would be! My new doctor specializes in mental health and eating disorders, and she is really awesome. She and I set up a plan to start taking medication for my binge eating disorder during the summer, once my body has gotten used to the anti-depressants. See a therapist regularly. This is a bit of a headache since my insurance is changing slightly in July. Once it changes over, I intend to start services with a therapist in my town. Follow the other goals! I kept the mental health section short because most of the other goals will also be really great for my mental health. Spiritual Health (Many of these items will only make sense to other Catholics. For non-Catholics, please see my glossary below.) Ask favorite priest to be my spiritual director; meet at least 3 times during summer. This is sort of like counseling, but only about spiritual things. I have finally come to realize that mental health ≠ spiritual health. Even though they do often go hand-in-hand, I need to address each area separately. I hope to meet at least three times with this priest during the next 12 weeks. In the past, he has always had great advice and resources for me, and I know he will help me stay accountable to the other areas of my prayer life I intend to work on. Pray a rosary at least five times per week. My summer job involves watering plants at a nursery. It is pretty easy and boring work, so it is easy (and very relaxing) to pray while I work. I want to start with praying the rosary during each of the days that I work and eventually expand to praying it 7 days each week. It only takes about 20 minutes to pray, but I often have trouble motivating myself to get started. Pray Liturgy of the Hours once per day. LotH is a really awesome form of prayer using Scripture to reflect on God's relationship with humanity. It has been incredibly helpful for my prayer life in the past, and I intend to return to it. It has different prayers for different parts of the day. If I had a LOT of ambition, I could pray it five times each day (for prayers at the morning, day, evening, or night, as well as additional readings). Right now, however, I just want to commit to praying one part of it each day, whether it is the morning, evening, or night prayers. Spend at least one hour per week with the Eucharist. Yes, this involves physically leaving my apartment to go pray in a chapel. But this is also the best way to reorient my prayer life. Attend weekly Sunday Mass at new parish and offer to help with music ministry. My roommate and I recently decided to join a different church because our current one doesn't really have an active community, and we felt a little like outsiders there. I have a difficult time going to Church if I don't know people there, so I need to meet people. And music (specifically playing clarinet) is one of the best ways I can serve in the parish and meet the other musicians, at the very least. Creativity Read at least 5 great books this summer. (Currently reading The Well of Ascension by Brandon Sanderson. This is seriously an amazing series!) I love reading, but I get VERY easily distracted by Netflix and video games. I want to get back to reading once again. Any fantasy book recommendations are appreciated! Make Paper Mache decorations for classroom. Pinterest is horrible. It gives me too many ideas of fun things to do for my classroom. Last year, some of my students made these huge, fluffy clouds that now hang from the ceiling in my classroom. I plan to make a paper mache Haku (dragon from Spirited Away) to fly above the clouds. That will be pretty ambitious, so I have some smaller paper mache projects to help me practice. Right now, the plan is to make a bunch of masks to hang on the wall (Majora's Mask, Blue Spirit mask from Avatar, Princess Mononoke's mask, and No-Face from Spirited Away. I welcome any other nerdy mask suggestions!) If I finish the masks and Haku without too much trouble, then I will consider making the floating city of Laputa as well. I don't think it will actually be as hard as it sounds, but it will certainly take a good deal of time. This sounds like I am adding work to my schedule, but it is really relaxing! Write for at least 5 hours per week. I really want to get into writing. I have a great idea for a fantasy novel, but I get bogged down with world-building and with planning out the plot and characters. I may continue working on the novel this summer, or I might take a break from the novel and work on some short stories. Either way, I want to work on writing in some form throughout the summer. I struggle a lot with accountability for writing. If there are any other writers out there, I would love some advice! Play music! I used to play clarinet and piano all the time. I still play piano sometimes, but not as often as I would like. I don't have a particular goal for this area. This is just here to remind me that music exists and that I should look to music anytime I am in a rut. Exercise Go canoeing/kayaking 3 times. This is something I have always wanted to get into. I recently found out that a state park nearby rents canoes, and my roommate and I plan to visit her family's cabin to go kayaking sometime soon. I wish I could go more frequently than 3 times, but I need to make sure to go with a buddy since I really don't have a lot of experience with watercraft of any kind. I grew up in one of the only counties in Minnesota without any natural lakes... Walk to Amon Sul! I absolutely despise going to a gym for exercise. I don't mind the bodyweight exercises on NF, but really I need to spend the summer doing my favorite form of exercise: hiking. I am taking on the "Walk to Mordor" challenge, and by summer's end, I will reach Weathertop, which is 240 miles away. I am using an Android app to help me track my progress. Year 2018 Trifles: I want to add some fun challenges throughout my travels (similar to the Anniversary Event Trifles, as any other LOTRO players may be familiar with).While I spend the next 12 weeks hiking 240 miles, I will be checking off as many of these items as I can: Wave to a beaver Take a picture of a fox See at least 30 deer Identify at least 15 different wildflowers Find a good walking stick Quack at a duck Chase a goose (mostly out of revenge for all the times I have been chased by geese) Find 5 secret writing nooks in the wilderness (nice, lovely places to pull up a chair and start writing) Take 10 sunset pictures Take 10 sunrise pictures Stand under a waterfall See at least 3 rainbows Sing "A Elbereth Gilthoniel" to the Evening Star Visit 5 different state parks Walk 10 miles in one day Take a selfie with a squirrel (easier said than done) Take a picture of an owl Go stargazing Find an eagle nest Eat wild raspberries Hike beneath a full moon (Any other ideas are welcome! I will happily add any challenges you guys come up with, as long as they are feasible for my geographic area.) Nutrition See a dietitian. My doctor recommended that, in addition to treating my binge eating disorder with medication, I also see a dietician to learn some strategies for portion control and healthier eating habits in general. I just need to set up that appointment, and then I can check this off my list and possibly set up a more structured nutritional plan for the summer. Limit eating out to once per week. Fast food is a really big temptation for me, and I need to stop picking it up. One way I plan to help avoid that temptation is to leave my money at home when I go to work. I only live about 10 minutes from work, so if I do actually need to go buy something, I can stop home and pick up my money. This will keep me from stopping at Culver's or McDonald's on the way home from work. Cook at least one new recipe each week. I need to get back to looking up fun recipes on NF, Pinterest, and other websites. Generally when I do cook, I eat healthy food. But when I fall into a rut, I eat mostly junk food. It also helps that I really enjoy gardening and currently have a healthy patio garden of herbs and veggies growing. By the end of the summer, I want to have a recipe book so that I can look for inspiration even when I am busy. Checkpoints: I have a couple of different ways I am going to keep myself accountable throughout the summer. I have a habit tracker in my bullet journal which will help me keep track of daily habits such as medication, writing, and eating out, etc. Some of the other goals also involve setting up appointments. I can't really plan a deadline for each meeting without knowing the schedule of the priest, therapist, and dietitian, but I can make a deadline for scheduling an appointment. And I do need to set deadlines, or else I will fall into my usual summer trap of "Oh, but I have all summer to do that. I'll do it later." By June 24th: Visit with Gildor and the other elves near Woodhall (41mi) Finish three paper mache masks Have the appointment with dietitian Send email to priest to request spiritual direction Check off at least 5 trifles Ask about music ministry at new church and sign up if schedule allows By July 8: Rest at Tom Bombadil's House (98mi) Begin seeing therapist Go canoeing/kayaking at least once Check off at least 10 more trifles Begin paper mache Haku By July 22: Reach Bree (135mi) Finish paper mache Haku, start Laputa if time allows Check off at least 10 more trifles By August 5: Finish the trek through the Midgewater Marshes (198mi) Check off at least 10 more trifles Create recipe book (either physical or digital) to track favorite recipes By August 19: Reach Weathertop (240mi) Possibly finish Laputa if time allows Check off entire list of trifles Glossary (for Catholic terms many probably don't know): Eucharist: Lembas bread for humans. Spiritual waybread for the journey. God: Dungeon Master. Liturgy of the Hours: Ancient tomes filled with chants, songs, and wisdom of the ancestors. Music Ministry: A group of bards who support the party (congregation) in battles (Church service). Priest: Party leader who is actually competent because of the large amount of time spent collaborating with the Dungeon Master. Rosary: A beaded chain with multiple purposes: whipping roommates in the face, cat toy, devotions to Elbereth (Mary)

Me remembering late last night that I was supposed to make a challenge thread: And then I went to bed! Probably best for all concerned. So, why am I here and what is this challenge all about? I'm not going to bury the lede. My focus this challenge is on working on eating disorder recovery, regular walking, and self care. I was officially diagnosed at the beginning of April, but it was something I had known on some level for quite a while and something I would have seen coming if I had been paying the right kind of attention for the last fifteen years. I'm not a newcomer to NF. I've been on and off the forums for about two years now and I've done a bunch of challenges. For those of you who remember me (though there don't seem to be many left that I recognize!) my diagnosis might come as a surprise. I was good at hiding it, and indeed I kept telling myself that I didn't really have a problem because nobody seemed to think I was doing anything dangerous. My whole life I thought I knew what I needed to do to be a better, fitter, healthier, more productive person. It was the same stuff I'd been trying to improve since I was a kid - eat better, exercise more, procrastinate less, etc. I thought I knew what I needed to do, and I thought I knew the right way to go about it. Willpower and discipline, self control, and accountability. I viewed all of it as a contest between my inner self, who was weak and lazy and lacked judgement, and my external and logical self, who knew better and was there to act as a drill sergeant, enforce the right decisions, and control the inner self who could not be trusted. I achieved what I thought of at the time as considerable successes - weight loss, fitness improvements, etc. But there were even more setbacks and devolution. And the more upset with my situation I was, the more I doubled down on self-judgement, and the worse things seemed to get. So I planned to try again, to do it better, to be better. I was sure that my strategy was solid and it was my execution, my character, that was flawed. I'm now seeing a specialist as part of my recovery and am also doing therapy every week. I'm starting to see and understand how so many of the behaviours and attitudes that I thought would bring me success (if I could only measure up) were actually exacerbating and worsening my problems. I'm optimistic, for the first time in a very very long time, that maybe one day I will no longer be at war with my own body and mind. I'm starting to believe that maybe there really are different and better ways to think about things. I don't know how long it will take. Years, probably. But even now I'm noticing some small changes, some small improvements. And I'm starting to see the true nature and extent of the problems for the first time in a lot of cases. And that too feels like progress. So this challenge isn't about forcing myself to do something I don't want to do, or a way to sustain motivation. It's meant as a chronicle - a place to record what happens and learn from it. I'll talk about what I do and don't do, and why, but not in a pass/fail way. Indeed, part of the challenge here is to break out of the old patterns for how I judged the things I did or didn't do instead of trying to truly understand my reasons and feelings. Here are the things I'm working on as part of recovery stuff: Do my best to eat meals and snacks at the frequency my specialist has asked me to. Try not to skip meals (more important than not skipping snacks) Notice whenever I'm feeling the urge to control/limit/punish myself and try to stop it in the moment or, if not, to at least notice it Write pertinent feelings and thoughts in my journal when it feels helpful Go to sessions each week as scheduled Take a walk once a day if I feel like I want to Do a mindfulness meditation exercise if I feel like I want to, aiming for at least once a day if possible So there you have it. I realize this is kind of a downer compared to most challenges and I won't be surprised or offended if this ends up being a pretty quiet thread. Thanks for letting me be here, even as my situation and goals evolve, and for letting me feel like part of the community. NF has been a really good influence on my life the past two years (indeed, I think some of the conversations I had here and the realizations I came to as a result of my NF challenges are part of why I'm finally seeking treatment) and I am hoping to still contribute to the community in a positive way.

Greetings traveler. Good to see you again. I'm setting down roots here for a while. I'm not ready to start up a challenge just yet. I need to get my health up. That means my physical and mental health. I've put on a few pounds at work from all the comfort foods. In fact I'm at the heaviest I've ever been. Going for a walk outside has been harder since the temperature is +95F/35C and the humidity makes it hotter. Plus my car is out of freon and the AC fan belt had an electrical short. I've taken to not wearing foundation so I don't sweat it off. Most of the women don't wear much makeup anyways so no one's noticed. Hopefully by the end of the week I'll have the freon filled and a plug in fan for my car. Once that's taken care of I'm getting a gym membership so I can take an indoor walk. The one I want to sign up for has a location three minutes from my house and another three blocks form from work. I've started journaling. Both with a mood journal app and a physical journal for long hand. The app better identifies mood trends, but the physical journal is more cathartic. This week I'm going to be focusing on sleeping, evening walks, and journaling. Missed you guys. It's good to be back.

[Pre-Challenge: Complete Mindset Module of the Academy] “OMG Hi! Long time listener - first time caller” Yeeeah… not really. My last 4-week challenge was in April of 2016. A lil over 2 years ago. I’ve hit some snags.. A lot of snags. I’ll spare you all the TL;DR wall-o-text. Long story short, 2016 was a terrible year in a lot of ways… and I thought what I learned and endured through 2016 would lead me to a great 2017. It didn’t. I’m starting from square one now. Story time will happen throughout my journey, sorta like a narrator to put all the pieces together. I’m going to be using these 4 week challenges to catalog my progress through the NF Academy, and supplementing those quests with little extras here and there. Nothing crazy. No more jumping into everything with a mighty furor just to burn out in 6 weeks. No more assuming I obviously know all the answers I just need to “motivate” myself. I’ve got a basic start of ideas for how I’m going to literally ease back into these challenges - and that’ll come later. Right now, I’ve got the pre-challenge I’ve set for myself to go back through and complete my Mindset module of the NF Academy. I won’t apologize - I’m gonna probably spam the everloving s- out of this thread while I do. Thanks to the mindset module, I have a handful of quests lined up starting today (yep - today!) Quest: I am the type of person who will drink more water. I will limit myself to one 12oz soda per day at most for the next four weeks Quest: I am the type of person who cares about her health. I will take the dog for a walk every morning during the work week, and every evening on the weekends. Quest: I am the type of person who enjoys cooking for her family. I will stick to my meal plan 4-5 days a week. Quest: I am the type of person who takes pride in her appearance. I will be more diligent by brushing/flossing both morning and night, along with a morning/night face wash Quest: I am the type of person who is diligent in her commitment to herself. I will check in via the NF Rebellion (the 4 week challenge, or my personal battle log depending on the day) every. Day. to keep myself honest about my progress and my goals. I'll be adding in bits here and there, as well as updating my Mindset Module link (going to the Google Doc where I'll have my Before pictures/measurements/Big Why/etc) as I continue on and make my progress throughout the 4 weeks. ♥ -Annabelle

So things have changed for me - and I have the opportunity to take some time to really figure my shit out right now, so I’m taking it. I’m considering this a Time of Adventure. I still want to focus on getting back in the habit of working out 3-5 days a week. It’s been really hard, but I know I can do it. Trying to be gentle with myself as I get back there, but the frustration has been real. This challenge is heavily reflective/me-centric with working out mixed in. My husband and I have chosen a trial separation, and so while I have this time on my own to figure my shit out, I don’t want to waste it. So there is def a theme here that is working out, but working on me, too. I’m including passive goals -- things I hope happen because I am actively working on the main goals. Should be a fun little progress check. So let’s go on an Adventure! Hard Work Sucks Running for Weight Loss 3x Per Week Use the Running for Weight Loss app 3x per week to get back into running and practice consistent intervals. 3 points per week, 15 points total Passive Goal: Lose 5 pounds during this challenge Show Off Your Muscles Two cross training workouts - anything that isn’t running. Could be a Darebee, could be yoga, could be a bike ride, could be kickboxing… just something to add work to other muscles to balance out run training. 2 points per week, 10 points total Passive Goal: Fit back into my size 8 jeans. Unacceptable This castle is in unacceptable condition. CLEAN IT. While the space is mine, I want to pick 1 project and a week to clean things up. Ideas are: deep-cleaning the bathrooms, reorganizing the bedroom, decluttering the craft room, cleaning the yard, deep-cleaning the living room, watching the window screens, vacuuming the everything, rearranging things, cleaning the basement workout room, etc. 1 point per week, 5 points total Passive Goal: Rearrange the living room to include a reading corner I Am… Complicated Spend time every day reflecting with meditation or journaling. While we are away from each other, I want to focus on really getting in check with me and where I am at. I’d like to do this through a combination of meditation and journaling. I want to check in with myself daily to make sure I’m using this time wisely. 7 points per week, 35 points total Passive Goal: Being able to sort out what I truly want from this time. Get A Life Get back to your hobbies. One of the things I have felt over the years is that I have given up my hobbies or set aside things I want to do because reasons. Stress, life, depression… so while I am on my own, I want to get back to some of these things to see if they are really hobbies I want to keep with me. I want to pick one thing a week to work on and see how I feel about it. Ideas include: getting my guitar restrung and practicing a few times a week, working in the uke a bit, trying more needlepoint or embroidery, hula-hooping, practicing my German with Duolingo 1 point per week, 5 points total Passive Goal: Figuring out which hobbies are still worth my time.

Hello everyone! I'm going to do an extended summer challenge in this thread that will run for roughly 7 weeks. This will include prep week, the four week challenge, and the two week summer vacation that the nerd fitness forums have planned. It feels a bit nostalgic for the old days of nerd fitness when we did six week challenges on these forums. I'm a thirty something single woman with a cat named Dragon. There's a lot going on in my life currently in terms of my mental health and recovery, and it can all feel pretty intense and heavy. I've decided to make my next challenged centered on something that I can always use more of in my life... PLAY! I don't intend to have any rigid goals, but will post regularly with my experiences and experiments in several domains of life. More may open up as we go along, but currently I'm thinking about these areas. Annyshay plays with her movement, food, friends, and imagination. Music, gifs, and other shenanigans as well as really intense and/or nerdy discussion is always encouraged and appreciated. Let's play!