Fat Shaming/Fat Acceptance Movement

[SevenofSeven]

I know a relatively larger woman and she always works on her tan and wears a bikini when gardening, I asked her why she did this, her reply:

Tanned fat is better than white fat.

However she always has impeccable make up and would not be caught dead in trackie pants at the local store.

I believe she loves her curves and lives her life to the fullest.

[Phytomancer]

I know a relatively larger woman and she always works on her tan and wears a bikini when gardening, I asked her why she did this, her reply:

Tanned fat is better than white fat.

However she always has impeccable make up and would not be caught dead in trackie pants at the local store.

I believe she loves her curves and lives her life to the fullest.

 

Although I don't think one is better than the other, I agree that she's awesome.

[Trewest]

I know a relatively larger woman and she always works on her tan and wears a bikini when gardening, I asked her why she did this, her reply:

Tanned fat is better than white fat.

However she always has impeccable make up and would not be caught dead in trackie pants at the local store.

I believe she loves her curves and lives her life to the fullest.

 

One of my friends used to do her makeup perfectly every single morning, even when we were out doing survival training in the woods. She never hesitated to jump into the mud, dirt, water, etc.. we got covered in fake blood for emergency first aid training etc... she just liked to have her makeup on in the morning. Even if she'd end up sweating it off during the day. That was her thing.

[SevenofSeven]

I wish it were my thing..........but full make up with my trackie dacks running into the local store.........yeah nah!

[Phytomancer]

One of my friends used to do her makeup perfectly every single morning, even when we were out doing survival training in the woods. She never hesitated to jump into the mud, dirt, water, etc.. we got covered in fake blood for emergency first aid training etc... she just liked to have her makeup on in the morning. Even if she'd end up sweating it off during the day. That was her thing.

 

I wish it were my thing..........but full make up with my trackie dacks running into the local store.........yeah nah!

 

Men just don't do make up. Some of us just need to shave (shaving cream), put on moisturizer, lotion, aftershave, toner, zit concealer, brow grooming, hair cream, hair gel, exfoliating scrub, sun screen, and maybe some cologne before we stroll from the bathroom.

 

Me? I shave once a week with naked razor, and I do sunscreen. The rest are just mystery.

[insanity]

Men just don't do make up. Some of us just need to shave (shaving cream), put on moisturizer, lotion, aftershave, toner, zit concealer, brow grooming, hair cream, hair gel, exfoliating scrub, sun screen, and maybe some cologne before we stroll from the bathroom.

 

Me? I shave once a week with naked razor, and I do sunscreen. The rest are just mystery.

Shave... sunscreen?? What's with all this work? :-)

[Phytomancer]

I know. I'm such a metro, right?

[Trewest]

I wish it were my thing..........but full make up with my trackie dacks running into the local store.........yeah nah! \

 

I wish it were my thing..........but full make up with my trackie dacks running into the local store.........yeah nah!

 

That sentence was so Aussie, I love it. Thank you Horus for teaching me to understand down under.... (Horus is my Aussie friend who now lives in Canada)

 

 

I know. I'm such a metro, right?

 

 

My husband always takes more time to get ready than I do. For me; moisturizer, deoderant, hair brushed- out the door. For him- shave, hair styled, clothing checked repeatedly, hair checked again, debate the hat or not, check hair again, check to make sure beard is still looking good, then out the door.

 

I can get up from a dead sleep, eat, prep and change, and get out the door in 20 minutes without rushing. He can't get out of bed in that time.

[Machete]

 

Straight razor and aftershave. Floss, brush, teeth whitener. Baking soda paste to exfoliate the face, then activated charcoal soap with sulfur and zinc oxide.

 

That's what I do for that one time I shower for the week.

[Phytomancer]

 

Straight razor and aftershave. Floss, brush, teeth whitener. Baking soda paste to exfoliate the face, then activated charcoal soap with sulfur and zinc oxide.

 

That's what I do for that one time I shower for the week.

 

My name is Phyto Mancer, almost 27 years old. I didn't do any of those, but still look younger that Patrick Bateman. Because genetics, and mostly my overly large eyes.

[Jett]

Hmm. I was following this thread for a while, really enjoying the discussion, and then I came back to it after a week or two and suddenly it's about Nic Cage and racism? Weird.

 

It might be too little to late for me to say this, but let's all try to remember that any kind of discrimination is always going to be a charged issue! Even if you're talking about a form of discrimination that you yourself do not participate in and have not experienced, this community is so diverse that there is a very good chance that someone who reads your post will have experienced it and will have strong feelings about the issue! So let's all try to remember that no one is attacking anyone else, it's just people trying to understand each other. And that's always a good thing!

 

Anyway, I think the original question was, 'Is it okay to embrace being unhealthily overweight?' A question that I had, after reading some of the recent discussion, is this:

 

If someone you cared about (family, a friend, etc) was very overweight, perhaps to the point of experiencing health problems, would you leave them alone? Or would you encourage them to change their lifestyle? What if they say, 'I don't want to change how I live,' even though they have complained about the health problems? I saw that some of you wished that your families would have been harder on you when you were in that mindset. How would you feel if things were reversed? And, I'm sure many of you are in this exact situation. How are you handling it?

[insanity]

 

 

If someone you cared about (family, a friend, etc) was very overweight, perhaps to the point of experiencing health problems, would you leave them alone? Or would you encourage them to change their lifestyle? What if they say, 'I don't want to change how I live,' even though they have complained about the health problems? I saw that some of you wished that your families would have been harder on you when you were in that mindset. How would you feel if things were reversed? And, I'm sure many of you are in this exact situation. How are you handling it?

I'm in this situation with my Fiance, who is well into the overweight area. She wasn't always, but after she quit smoking, food became her go to thing. I made the compromise that I wouldn't stress about her food until she was well beyond the urge to have another cigarette. That was a couple years ago, and though she has tried to lose weight before, once the timeline for the plan ended she jumped right back to square one, despite all the progress made. She's now following me into the gym, and though I'm on injured reserve, she still doing it. So we're on square 2 now....

 

She has done the "I don't want to do it now" thing, and I simply went about doing my thing. I'm stubborn and if I don't want to do something, then I won't, even if you REALLY want me too. So I treat others like that.

 

I can't say I've ever embraced it, but I haven't punished her for it either. To me it's not something to embrace, due mainly to the health issues, but not something to joke or punish someone for. Some people are the opposite of me in that they have a hard time losing weight, so I don't hold that fact against them.

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

My biggest thing with it is that if you have people who depend on you (mainly thinking kids, but a sick loved one, spouse, or others might qualify in some circumstances as well), then it's not up to you to embrace being unhealthily over weight. You have people that depend on you, you can't put their futures at stake because you want to accept being unhealthily over weight.

 

Now, if you don't have people who are depending on you and your death or hospitalization wouldn't put their futures in jeapardy, then do what you want. If to you the risks of being unhealthily overweight are outweighed by the benefits of it (not being miserable exercising or dieting if you don't enjoy those for example), no one should say shit to you. That's your decision to make. You just can't make that decision for other people that depend on you though, it's your responsibility to put yourself in the best possible position to care for them. In the case of kids, you accepted this responsibility when you decided to have or adopt them.

[Phytomancer]

Hmm. I was following this thread for a while, really enjoying the discussion, and then I came back to it after a week or two and suddenly it's about Nic Cage and racism? Weird.

 

It might be too little to late for me to say this, but let's all try to remember that any kind of discrimination is always going to be a charged issue! Even if you're talking about a form of discrimination that you yourself do not participate in and have not experienced, this community is so diverse that there is a very good chance that someone who reads your post will have experienced it and will have strong feelings about the issue! So let's all try to remember that no one is attacking anyone else, it's just people trying to understand each other. And that's always a good thing!

 

Yep. Support is always good. I know I always take it's off topic, but race is a part of the identity and body acceptance. It's the part that you can't change. You can't scrub away the color in your skin. I am glad that here people are being as respectful as possible while not afraid to express their opinion, and I embrace different thoughts on the subjects.

 

Speaking of which, stupid US Sony introduced an exciting movie, Pixel, that made me want to see it until a Token Asian showed up with his fake Engrish accent and his AAaaaaaghataaaaaaewwweeeeee scream... like, you know, uncool Asians those are just typical in US movies and shows.

 

Just have more than one male Asian character in a movie who is not insulting would be frikkin' fine, I'd tell you that.

 

Did I mention 'the Interview'? Not even communist joke-- just pure walking stereotypes.

 

If someone you cared about (family, a friend, etc) was very overweight, perhaps to the point of experiencing health problems, would you leave them alone? Or would you encourage them to change their lifestyle? What if they say, 'I don't want to change how I live,' even though they have complained about the health problems? I saw that some of you wished that your families would have been harder on you when you were in that mindset. How would you feel if things were reversed? And, I'm sure many of you are in this exact situation. How are you handling it?

 

I had this problem as a kid. I was 90 kilo (180 lb) and short when I was 13. My parents did not know how to tell me, and I continued to be unhealthy. When I was 15, I took the matter in my own hand and started losing weight... I wished at the time that they say something so that I can make changes earlier.

[Silo]

I'm in this situation with my Fiance, who is well into the overweight area. She wasn't always, but after she quit smoking, food became her go to thing. I made the compromise that I wouldn't stress about her food until she was well beyond the urge to have another cigarette. That was a couple years ago, and though she has tried to lose weight before, once the timeline for the plan ended she jumped right back to square one, despite all the progress made. She's now following me into the gym, and though I'm on injured reserve, she still doing it. So we're on square 2 now....

 

She has done the "I don't want to do it now" thing, and I simply went about doing my thing. I'm stubborn and if I don't want to do something, then I won't, even if you REALLY want me too. So I treat others like that.

 

I can't say I've ever embraced it, but I haven't punished her for it either. To me it's not something to embrace, due mainly to the health issues, but not something to joke or punish someone for. Some people are the opposite of me in that they have a hard time losing weight, so I don't hold that fact against them.

 

I think this is a good way to handle it and I especially like the part in bold. My husband is overweight and has, on and off, worked on losing weight and getting fit. When he is "on" with those things, I am supportive. When he is "off" I don't nag or push him to get back on again.

 

I'm the one who wondered why my husband didn't say anything to me when I was overweight/unfit. In general, I am much harder on myself than I am on other people so I think that is why I look at it differently. Plus, I don't think he is in as bad a spot as I was, at least not weight-wise. I was 202 lbs @ 5'6" and he is 230-something @ 6'2". The latter is much easier to carry off than is the former.

[insanity]

I think this is a good way to handle it and I especially like the part in bold. My husband is overweight and has, on and off, worked on losing weight and getting fit. When he is "on" with those things, I am supportive. When he is "off" I don't nag or push him to get back on again.

 

I'm the one who wondered why my husband didn't say anything to me when I was overweight/unfit. In general, I am much harder on myself than I am on other people so I think that is why I look at it differently. Plus, I don't think he is in as bad a spot as I was, at least not weight-wise. I was 202 lbs @ 5'6" and he is 230-something @ 6'2". The latter is much easier to carry off than is the former.

Not very many women would take being told they're overweight/unfit very well. There's a reason people joke about the dangers of getting their wife a treadmill, or a gym membership.

 

And while you might take it well, that subject is like walking through a minefield that's more mines, than field. He might get lucky and find the spot that doesn't blow him up, but 9 times out of 10, he's getting blown sky high.

[Trewest]

Not very many women would take being told they're overweight/unfit very well. There's a reason people joke about the dangers of getting their wife a treadmill, or a gym membership.

 

 Guess my husband got lucky with me then; he got me weights for my christmas gift one year and I was over the moon impressed that he did it. I'd only mentioned once, off hand, that the weights we had at home weren't cutting it anymore, and he picked up the next level up for me based off of that.

[Silo]

Not very many women would take being told they're overweight/unfit very well. There's a reason people joke about the dangers of getting their wife a treadmill, or a gym membership.

 

And while you might take it well, that subject is like walking through a minefield that's more mines, than field. He might get lucky and find the spot that doesn't blow him up, but 9 times out of 10, he's getting blown sky high.

 

Lol. Yeah, since the subject came up on here a week or two back, I've had a couple of moments when I *almost* asked him about it but then decided not to because I figured he'd say "there is no way I'd ever tell you that. Are you crazy?" 

 

I got a set of 25 lb. plates and sawhorses for my squat rack for Christmas this year, after saying several times "that is seriously all I want. I can't think of anything else. I am not joking."

[insanity]

Lol. Yeah, since the subject came up on here a week or two back, I've had a couple of moments when I *almost* asked him about it but then decided not to because I figured he'd say "there is no way I'd ever tell you that. Are you crazy?" 

 

I got a set of 25 lb. plates and sawhorses for my squat rack for Christmas this year, after saying several times "that is seriously all I want. I can't think of anything else. I am not joking."

I knew this subject seemed oddly Deja Vu ish.... :-)

 

 Guess my husband got lucky with me then; he got me weights for my christmas gift one year and I was over the moon impressed that he did it. I'd only mentioned once, off hand, that the weights we had at home weren't cutting it anymore, and he picked up the next level up for me based off of that.

Well, he does at least have the past experience fo you already having weights.

[Trewest]

Well, he does at least have the past experience fo you already having weights.

 

Touche. That and he knows that if I am offended/upset by something he says or does I'll flat out tell him. I can bullshit with the best of them for work purposes, but I try not to let the barnyard antics follow me home.

[Machete]

Yep. Support is always good. I know I always take it's off topic, but race is a part of the identity and body acceptance. It's the part that you can't change. You can't scrub away the color in your skin. I am glad that here people are being as respectful as possible while not afraid to express their opinion, and I embrace different thoughts on the subjects.

 

Speaking of which, stupid US Sony introduced an exciting movie, Pixel, that made me want to see it until a Token Asian showed up with his fake Engrish accent and his AAaaaaaghataaaaaaewwweeeeee scream... like, you know, uncool Asians those are just typical in US movies and shows.

 

Just have more than one male Asian character in a movie who is not insulting would be frikkin' fine, I'd tell you that.

 

Did I mention 'the Interview'? Not even communist joke-- just pure walking stereotypes.

 

 

I had this problem as a kid. I was 90 kilo (180 lb) and short when I was 13. My parents did not know how to tell me, and I continued to be unhealthy. When I was 15, I took the matter in my own hand and started losing weight... I wished at the time that they say something so that I can make changes earlier.

 

This guy?

 

[dijos]

what about john Cho?

[weakogre]

holy cow this thread got out of hand.

 

here's my 2cents and it, like everything else comes from the mind of louis and i'm probably paraphrasing some:

 

"being white is great, if it was an option at the beginning of the year i would renew white every time. being a white man is playing life on easy mode."

 

this is what people who complain about oppression, even though they are in the overwhelming majority, fail to realize. a few people on a tv or the internet saying things you don't like is not oppression. someone telling you your beliefs are wrong is not oppression. being mildly inconvenienced in your daily life every once in a while is not oppression. someone who is different than you achieving more than you does not mean you were oppressed.

 

if you are a straight white male and you look at anyone else as having it easier than you because of one of those three words, you're lying to yourself. you wouldn't trade places with them, if you're honest with yourself. i know you think it sucks that it's not the good ol' boys club of yester-years, but people have access to more communication now and that means strong ideas and groups can form throughout the world and don't need the man behind them to succeed.

 

i won't go on too long, because i've learned if you feel a certain way about an issue like this then no one is going to change your mind, but here's some stuff i want white men who think racism/sexism/anti-lbgt is dead and these people are now running the world while the straight white man is cut off at the knees:

 

• do you have a legitimate fear of the police? i know you're thinking "i've never committed a crime, so i have nothing to fear!" but has every black person committed a crime? don't they deserve the benefit of the doubt that white people get? or would you like to be looked at as a potential mass murderer because a couple of white men committed that crime? would you cavalierly assert your rights to a cop if you were non-white?
• would you like adolph hitler to represent you? how about charles manson? how about the westboro baptist community now represents all religious white people? they're white people so they now speak/spoke for all whites. you want to tell me different, then you better go talk to manson about it. he represents you. does that not make sense to you? then why does jesse jackson/al sharpton make white people angry at black people? why haven't you solved white drug addiction or crime yet? shouldn't you take care of your own people before you can comment on anyone else? or is that just something you tell minorities?
• i see white men carrying guns around in the open being cheered on. what if three black men walked into your starbucks with ar-15s? how about a few muslim men? suddenly they're not just heroes or at the worst silly kids, they're an imminent threat to you. why?
• "why are they allowed to have BET/gay only bars? i'm going to make white and straight only places." first off, i've never been to a gay establishment that didn't allow straight people in. i think that's a strawman. also if you're straight there's probably a number of bars you would rather be at, unless you're super into dancing and then gay bars do have some of the market cornered. but no one is going to check your sexual orientation at the door, now you may get hit on by *gasp* members of your own sex, but you are in the place where that happens. kind of like how you tell yourself those murder/rape victims had it coming because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, wearing the wrong clothes. as for white/straight entertainment, isn't there enough? do we have to be mad at stuff we wouldn't watch anyway simply because it exists? there are thousands of channels, millions of shows, and endless ways to watch them, but seeing too many minorities in one place irks you? you want WET? go watch seinfeld, friends, fraiser, the godfather, clint eastwood, big bang theory, modern family, etc. etc. do you get it? hollywood/media is still super white and straight, and if you don't like something you don't have to watch it.
• "i don't find x type of people attractive" ok, good for you. more x, y, and z for the rest of us. saying you don't like a person for a superficial reason is small minded. it's either based on stereotypes or the fact that you haven't experienced enough life to understand that superficial things don't make a person. talk to more people, listen to even more people. you don't have to like everyone, but if you stay in your bubble you're missing out.
• "he just got that because he's black, i bet that mexican doesn't pay taxes, she doesn't even know anything about sports, how is she a reporter?" have you ever had these thoughts? then you're the problem. i don't care what, why, or when, this is the issue. according to you (and anyone ignorant enough to listen to you) minorities cannot achieve anything without help from the white man and the white man is struggling because he's too busy just giving everything to the minorities. women only get by on their looks. how about you twist your view a little bit, how about every time a minority accomplishes something you look at it as everyone around them was trying to cheapen their accomplishment. they were surrounded by people who thought like you, who thought they had nothing to offer, but they pushed through anyway. how about them having to do so much more to even get in the door than you? and you'll never understand that because you don't have to face it. you don't have to deal with people telling you you were a minority hire and you don't deserve it before they even know your skills and if you actually are deserving of your position. you don't have people talk about how your looks are the only reason you're even here and there are 1,000,0000 better men (white) who deserve your job. guys sitting on their couches who have white man opportunities but are lifelong underachievers looking down on you as if they could do what you're doing.

sorry that drug on, but it's something that really irks me. these straw men that people prop up in these arguments are silly. i know it's rough being the default setting and playing on easy mode, but please do not make it worse by telling people whose struggles and lives you couldn't fathom that they have it easy. it makes us look bad, and according to you how one person of a certain race acts is how they all should be judged.

[Jett]

Wow jeez. This isn't the Bash-MRA (or Bash-Feminism, or Bash-Anything) thread. Not trying to step on moderator toes here, but I don't see how this particular discussion relates to the original topic, and I'm really scared this is going to turn into a flame war. :/ Unsubscribing from this thread now and staying farrr away. I've seen this particular discussion turn ugly too many times in the past.

[weakogre]

Wow jeez. This isn't the Bash-MRA (or Bash-Feminism, or Bash-Anything) thread. Not trying to step on moderator toes here, but I don't see how this particular discussion relates to the original topic, and I'm really scared this is going to turn into a flame war. :/ Unsubscribing from this thread now and staying farrr away. I've seen this particular discussion turn ugly too many times in the past.

 

i'm sorry that i, presumably, (i'm the one bashing MRA, which i had to look up,) have chased you out of the thread. i think it's a worthy topic and body image/acceptance does go a lot deeper than your weight. i really liked some of the comments and insight added by people like machete, hitlionsoul, phytomancer, and stillwaters. i think it's good and healthy as long as we talk about the subject, no need to single anyone out or go after certain people.

 

i know i snowballed right into an overlong angry sounding rant, but those are just my opinions and no one has to live by them, i think they add to this but if it's all crazy talk then i'm sure we move to another thread, but this one has been off the tracks for a while now.