iatetheyeti: Spartan Rising

[iatetheyeti]

SPARTAN RISING

So cast off whatever fears arise at the armoured legions

they’ll muster before you, hedge yourselves round

with hollow shields, and learn to love death’s ink black

shadow as much as you love the light of dawn.

Arete - Tyrtaeus of Sparta (sometime between 650-37BC)

 

 

 

 

“This is not a disaster, this is an origin story.”

- a surprisingly reassuring thing to tell the mirror every day

 

 

    Adversity builds character, or so the cliche goes, and right now I’m facing a mountain of it. Living below the poverty line has never been particularly fun, but I’ve always managed to scrape by and wriggle my out of whatever bad situations come my way. This current one, though, this is a little different. This is projected to be the coldest winter in five years and I can’t afford heating. I can’t afford anywhere near enough food. I can barely afford my rent and bills. And my income is not stable. At all. I’m living in constant anxiety and I don’t know how things are going to turn out in the end.

 

But you know the great thing about rock bottom?

 

I’ve got solid ground below my feet and from down here I can see every route that leads right on up. Each of these routes will be a long, hard climb, and I may well slip and fall at any point, but ultimately it is possible to escape from this place of misery and self-pity.

 

The question: How will I do this?

 

The answer: Go full Spartan.

 

The idea is in no small way inspired by the fact that I’m running a Spartan Sprint in July 2017. That said, I think I could benefit from developing some of that incredible mental fortitude necessary to stand on the battlefield, armed and ready to fight, and be at peace with the prospect of imminent death.

 

A Spartan body wouldn’t be half bad either.

 

Usually this would be the part where I would say the only thing standing in the way of this is myself, but for once that isn’t strictly true. Yes, there are external factors, and yes, those have the potential to get seriously ugly, but when it comes down to it, I can only do so much to sway those factors in my favour.

 

I can do so much more to build myself up and prepare for whatever comes.

 

That’s why I’ve switched over to a battle log and will be staying here exclusively for at least a month rather than stressing myself out with challenges. Don’t get me wrong, I love the challenge format, and it has worked well for me in the past, but right now it isn’t what I need. Right now what I need is to drag my sorry ass back on track and drill in good habits, because I am a mess, and being a mess is not conducive to moving forward with my goals in any respect.

 

Most of what will be in here to begin with will be simple check-ins to confirm my dailies and weekly boss fights and summaries. Sometimes I may go off tangent depending on just how badly I need to get something out there and not have it bottled up.

 

Most importantly it will be accountability, no matter who does or does not read it. I do the thing, I post about the thing. I don’t do the thing and I have to explain why.

 

Baby steps, so many tiny little baby steps, because when it comes down to it, a mountain of adversity isn’t so bad. After all, I climb mountains for fun

 

 

 

 

 

 

The story so far…

i / ii / iii / iv / v / vi / vii / vii / ix / x / xi / xii / xiii / xiv / xv / xvi / xvii

 

 

[iatetheyeti]

Narrowing Focus

...fair warning, I’m going to talk every little detail through with myself here and in future.

 

 

I want to do everything.

 

Even when I commit to one training program or other, I’m continually eyeing the other options, wondering if I could possibly work them into my current routine or wondering if I should be doing something else entirely.

 

It isn’t a sustainable way to train, let alone go through life, not for me.

 

So I took a good long look at what I wanted to achieve in the next year and narrowed things down as far as I could, coming up with these:

 

1. Move

2. Run the Spartan Sprint successfully

 

One for life, one for fitness. Easy, right?

 

Better still, these can be broken down into small stages that don’t seem anywhere near as daunting as the whole thing. Rather than focus on the big picture and lose perspective on what I’m trying to achieve in the moment (or, more realistically, panic and come to a standstill) I can throw myself into completing smaller missions and get that nice little glow of satisfaction when I complete them.

 

Baby steps are important just now, as is the prospect of having both intrinsic and extrinsic rewards for a mission completed. With that in mind, this is a rough approximation of how December is going to go:

 

 

GOAL: MOVE

STAGE ONE: CLEAR OUT THE FLAT

=== Everything is a mess, I own too many things I don’t need/use, and the less belongings I have the less it’ll cost to get them shifted across to the other side of the country

 

Dailies for week one (4th-11th, because why not follow challenge weeks just now?):

• Clean and tidy for ten minutes

• Sort three items of clothing (either keep, charity, or bin)

• One trip to the recycling point with a backpack full of glass empties

 

Week one boss battle:

• Sort out DVDs and books into sell and keep piles, gather boxes from work to package everything being sold, and find a reliable site to sell through

 

Simple. Easy as. Fifteen minutes per day spent doing something productive at home, and a ten minute walk each way to do something productive outside of it. Oh, it’ll still be a struggle to get going, that I know, but just knowing that, at the end of the week, I’ll have a cleaner, tidier flat and the prospect of a little income boost is quite a motivator.

 

 

GOAL: RUN THE SPARTAN SPRINT SUCCESSFULLY

STAGE ONE: SURVIVE THE STARVATION PERIOD

=== It sounds extreme because, unfortunately, it is extreme. No money means limited food, which means I need to be careful. More careful than I’m being right now, because the physical impact is hitting hard already.

 

Dailies for week one and two:

• Drink one bottle of water in addition to other fluid intake

• Eat a bowl of porridge with protein powder

• Do 10 push ups/inverted rows/assisted pistols at the start and end of the day

 

Weekly boss fight for week one and two:

• Amass as much cheap tinned protein as possible (aim for seven additional tins)

 

This one is a little trickier than the former goal. There’s only so much I can do beyond regulation and rationing. However, I’m still able to pay my water bill which means hydration should not be the issue that it currently is. That, and I still have a relatively large tub of protein powder left (and a big bag of own brand porridge oats is surprisingly cheap), so I can have something of a sensible diet. That, added to keeping myself moving just enough, should be a good start.

 

 

 

So there we have it, baby steps for December, something to ensure I don’t close out the year in a spectacular blaze of self-pity and misery. The only other goal I have is to not cut myself off from everyone else. At the moment it’s difficult to actually sustain a conversation for any great length of time as what my mind is trying to make me do is shut down and isolate, but that isn’t actually what I want to do. So to counter this I’m going to work on two fronts:

 

• Have a conversation with someone face to face daily, one that does not revolve around whatever issues I’m having, one that is at least halfway positive.

• Keep myself present here on NF. This is one I had to think on, and debate just how much I could or would involve myself. But at the end of the day, I like it here, I like the people, and if I can find a balance then I’ll be better for it.

 

One thing I haven’t attempted to do just now is structure all of my time. For the most part this is to take the pressure off, mentally speaking. There is also the fact that I just do not have the energy in any sense of the word, I need so much more rest right now, especially after work.

 

What matters is focusing on these little things.

 

And that’s exactly what I’ll do.

 

 

[Sloth the Enduring]

Welcome to the Dark Side.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Rhovaniel]

I am so sorry things are so tough right now, but I have to say I admire your strength and courage. Following to watch you crush it ☺

[A Grue]

Following.  You seem to be a tough, adaptable person, and I want to see you work your way out.  I'm pulling for you.

[Jarric]

Heya Yeti, so glad you decided to stay on here and keep a log. Some inspiring stuff in your intro, and I know you can get through this one step at a time.

 

As always if you need to talk shoot me a message

[iatetheyeti]

18 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

I am so sorry things are so tough right now, but I have to say I admire your strength and courage. Following to watch you crush it ☺

 

Thank you  

 

Heh, if anything I'll only be crushing tiny, tiny pebbles for a long while yet. Better than nothing though!

 

 

1 hour ago, A Grue said:

Following.  You seem to be a tough, adaptable person, and I want to see you work your way out.  I'm pulling for you.

 

Thanks! I've come to find adaptability is a must when living in these circumstances, and I'm hoping it'll be that which helps me climb up and out.

 

 

1 hour ago, Jarric said:

Heya Yeti, so glad you decided to stay on here and keep a log. Some inspiring stuff in your intro, and I know you can get through this one step at a time.

 

As always if you need to talk shoot me a message

 

I'm glad I decided to stick around too! I'd miss this place for sure. And I appreciate the offer, thank you  

[iatetheyeti]

Quest Chain: Move

D1: ✓

D2: ✓

D3: X (outright forgot this one)

Boss progress: N/A for today

 

Quest Chain: Spartan

D1: ✓

D2: ...✓ (pot of instant porridge with protein powder counts, right?)

D3: ✓

Boss progress: 2x tins of meatballs secured and stored

 

===========

 

Exhausted Yeti is exhausted.

 

Split shifts are really taking their toll, but it should only be for another week before I transfer properly to deli. It isn’t a permanent move, but it’ll get me full time hours for a while, which is a bonus.

 

Summary of the day:

 

• Anger: the DM on this morning is a dick. He seems to enjoy having a go at me in front of an audience. Today it wasn’t just me that got sent back off of my break, but apparently I was the only one who got denied a break twice. So much for legal rights...

• Frustration: Hunger does that to you.

• Gratitude: A couple of days ago I was given a care package of sorts by one of the personnel staff after having a bit of a breakdown in the office after finally managing to convey just how badly I needed more hours. It’s helped immensely over the past few days and today was no different.

• Exhaustion: Tried to relax and let go of the anger/frustration by watching episodes of the Blue Planet series (how is that fifteen years old already?!). It worked too well and I may have dozed off…

• Satisfaction: I haven’t cried, haven’t snapped at anyone, and am getting very good at this shopping on a slightly-less-than-zero budget.

 

Plan for tonight is to continue with the Blue Planet, make sure I drink a lot more (body may or may not be in/nearing starvation mode, which means I dehydrate a lot easier than before), do some mobility work on my knees because they’re acting up again, and make a list of things to do before working tomorrow evening.

 

[Rhovaniel]

4 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

Anger: the DM on this morning is a dick. He seems to enjoy having a go at me in front of an audience. Today it wasn’t just me that got sent back off of my break, but apparently I was the only one who got denied a break twice. So much for legal rights...

Now I'm angry. That does sound illegal, and definitely something that SHOULD NOT be happening. What would happen if you stood your ground/made a complaint against the DM?

 

Hang in there, Yeti. You've got this  

[iatetheyeti]

11 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

Now I'm angry. That does sound illegal, and definitely something that SHOULD NOT be happening. What would happen if you stood your ground/made a complaint against the DM?

 

Hang in there, Yeti. You've got this  

 

Funnily enough, it was that very DM who told me it was a legal requirement for us to have a fifteen minute break for every four hours we worked. And as much as I'd like to make a stand, I doubt it'd go much further than, "Well why didn't you tell us you hadn't had a break yet?" and "You should have said something at the time." Depending on which one is on tonight, I might have a quiet word and see where I stand.

 

[Mr_Willes]

Here to support you in any way possible!

 

Own the FU situation!

 

 

You will own that spartan, we just need you to adapt to a style where you can prep in the best (affordable) way possible!

 

I'll stick around to see if i can input some things that make sense... (doubtfully, but will try anyway ) 

[Mr_Willes]

On 3-12-2016 at 10:33 PM, iatetheyeti said:

I own too many things I don’t need/use,

 

Sell it! Over here everything gets sold secondhand. It might not make much but at least you won't have to pay for getting rid of it. We even have facebook group trading groups, trading your old CD of Vanilla Ice for 2 packages of porridge...

[iatetheyeti]

6 hours ago, mr_willes said:

Here to support you in any way possible!

 

Own the FU situation!

 

 

You will own that spartan, we just need you to adapt to a style where you can prep in the best (affordable) way possible!

 

I'll stick around to see if i can input some things that make sense... (doubtfully, but will try anyway ) 

 

Great to have you around  

 

Heh, I aspire to 'affordable', believe me! I'll have a better idea of where I stand with it all come the end of this year/start of next year, and hopefully from there I can restart my training properly.

 

 

6 hours ago, mr_willes said:

Sell it! Over here everything gets sold secondhand. It might not make much but at least you won't have to pay for getting rid of it. We even have facebook group trading groups, trading your old CD of Vanilla Ice for 2 packages of porridge...

 

Exactly what I'm doing! I've got a local buy/swap/sell group on Facebook I can utilise, and for the bulk of it I can actually trade it in for a fairly decent price (plus free postage! All I need to do is pinch boxes from work to pack it all in!).

 

[iatetheyeti]

Quest Chain: Move

D1: ✓

D2: X

D3: X

Boss progress: N/A for today

 

Quest Chain: Spartan

D1: ✓

D2: X

D3: X

Boss progress: N/A for today

 

===========

 

Admittedly I was a bit out of sorts today. I didn’t set an alarm, intending to wake naturally to allow myself to get the sleep I needed, but instead was woken up at 4:53am by my neighbours stomping and talking loudly. Dozed on and off for the next few hours, then woke properly when I heard the bin lorry clattering about outside.

 

...I forgot to put out my bin.

 

Spent the next few hours in a bit of a flap, not getting much done, then trudged off to work to have a distinctly mediocre shift. Towards the end of it I had a chat with FDO (former department manager turned duty manager) about tomorrow morning and got told to go for my break at 9am, then do stock counts after. So we’ll see how that goes over with Public Humiliation DM...

 

Plus side: I scored a 1.2kg chunk of salami for all of £1.20 because it was going out of date.

 

That counts as a success as far as I’m concerned!

 

[NeverThatBored]

Nice work on the salami!

 

I'm glad you decided to stick around. Following along.

[Rhovaniel]

Sounds like you got a good deal on the salami, great going! 

 

Hope you manage to get your break at a decent hour tomorrow , and the Public Humiliation DM either realises what a d**k he's being and amends his ways or gets pulled up for it; behaviour like that from managers was one of the principal reasons why I left supermarket work. Sending virtual hugs your way  What one do you work for again? (Sorry, I'm sure you mentioned it a couple of challenges back but I'm forgetful like that )  

[iatetheyeti]

6 hours ago, NeverThatBored said:

Nice work on the salami!

 

I'm glad you decided to stick around. Following along.

 

 

I'm glad I decided to as well! And it's good to have you along for whatever this may bring  

 

 

4 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

Sounds like you got a good deal on the salami, great going! 

 

Hope you manage to get your break at a decent hour tomorrow , and the Public Humiliation DM either realises what a d**k he's being and amends his ways or gets pulled up for it; behaviour like that from managers was one of the principal reasons why I left supermarket work. Sending virtual hugs your way  What one do you work for again? (Sorry, I'm sure you mentioned it a couple of challenges back but I'm forgetful like that )  

 

Not gonna lie, I'm dreading what's going to happen this morning. If PHDM is indeed the one on, I might just have a quick word with him as early on as possible, and in a private place in case there's more yelling for whatever reason. Oddly enough, I've never had any major problems like that in the eight plus months I've been there. And it's Morrisons I work for, sadly. Although I'm genuinely considering jumping ship to Lidl next time they've got job openings. The same work for £9+ per hour sounds like a good thing to me!

 

[Jarric]

Hope things went ok with PHDM this morning.

 

Lidl pay £9+/h?? That's a great wage for a supermarket, I'd definitely look at jumping ship if I we're you!

[iatetheyeti]

2 hours ago, Jarric said:

Hope things went ok with PHDM this morning.

 

Lidl pay £9+/h?? That's a great wage for a supermarket, I'd definitely look at jumping ship if I we're you!

 

It actually went surprisingly well, all things considered. I think it was helped along by the act that both the RO and Cigarette Smoking Woman, who is one of my favourite DMs, were both there, so it wasn't PHDM running the shift alone.

 

Heh, yeah, the last position they advertised for in town was for a shop floor assistant at £9.20ish an hour. They've got a full roster now though, unfortunately, otherwise I'd probably have gone! 

[iatetheyeti]

 

Quest Chain: Move

D1: ✓

D2: X

D3: X

Boss progress: N/A for today

 

Quest Chain: Spartan

D1: X

D2: X

D3: X

Boss progress: One tin of chicken in white wine sauce secured (because why not be fancy when it’s only 68p?), making for 3/7 so far

 

===========

 

On one hand I’ve had a lacklustre day dominated by tiredness and fairly drastic mood swings.

 

On the other hand, I’ve had a free cooked breakfast (the main person in the staff canteen ensure I eat hot food for free whenever I’m in nowadays), a hug (from a former co-worker. Big deal, first intentional physical contact since my trip to Edinburgh. Touch starvation is real and it sucks), and some rum (Kraken, double. Nursing a second one currently).

 

Tonight is going to be for relaxing. I think I decided that when I poured myself the rum.

 

Tomorrow there will be productivity, not least because I’ve got some ideas I want to put into place before I forget them. It’s supposed to be raining hard, so chances are it won’t be too chilly, which means keeping moving (by tidying, tidying, tidying) should keep me warm enough to do.

 

I’m even going to set a series of alarms to ensure I actually do get out of bed in the morning.

 

Hopefully by this tomorrow, I’ll actually be able to check off my dailies as successfully done.

[obax]

Thought I'd stop by to see what you were up to outside of challenge-land. I'll give it a proper read shortly, but I'm currently sitting in my basement in shorts and a tank top and it's getting chilly, so I'm making a quick post so I don't lose your thread while I search for sweatpants and a blanket!

[Jarric]

Free breakfast, a hug and some rum sounds like a good day

[iatetheyeti]

8 hours ago, obax said:

Thought I'd stop by to see what you were up to outside of challenge-land. I'll give it a proper read shortly, but I'm currently sitting in my basement in shorts and a tank top and it's getting chilly, so I'm making a quick post so I don't lose your thread while I search for sweatpants and a blanket!

 

Heh, not much is the answer, truth be told. Trying to find my feet and work from there... And you know, I really miss shorts and tank top weather. Today we have sleet  

 

 

4 hours ago, Jarric said:

Free breakfast, a hug and some rum sounds like a good day

 

I'd be infinitely happier if the majority of my days were like this  

[obax]

4 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

 

Heh, not much is the answer, truth be told. Trying to find my feet and work from there... And you know, I really miss shorts and tank top weather. Today we have sleet  

 

 

Oh, it's not shorts and tank top weather here either, we've have sleet most days here too. Dark and cold do not make for good motivation... I've already pulled out the warm under-layers for work and it's barely below freezing, I don't know what I'll do when winter really comes. I'm just glad my mother has a treadmill, and the shorts and tank top are because the heat vent is right above it.....

 

And now that I've caught up, I've got to say, man, life just seems to want to take it out on you. It's so nice of the person in the canteen to support you that way, it sounds like you've got some people who care in amongst the PHDM-types. I'm sending you as many positive vibes as I can send, and I'm sincerely sending it out to the universe to just lay off yet, already.

[iatetheyeti]

On 12/7/2016 at 4:45 PM, obax said:

 

Oh, it's not shorts and tank top weather here either, we've have sleet most days here too. Dark and cold do not make for good motivation... I've already pulled out the warm under-layers for work and it's barely below freezing, I don't know what I'll do when winter really comes. I'm just glad my mother has a treadmill, and the shorts and tank top are because the heat vent is right above it.....

 

And now that I've caught up, I've got to say, man, life just seems to want to take it out on you. It's so nice of the person in the canteen to support you that way, it sounds like you've got some people who care in amongst the PHDM-types. I'm sending you as many positive vibes as I can send, and I'm sincerely sending it out to the universe to just lay off yet, already.

 

I thought that might have been a little too optimistic for the northern hemisphere this time of year!

 

Heh, seems like, but I like to think that it means that when I do get myself into a better situation it won't be a little improvement, but rather something so very much better than before. I guess I'll see when I get there. For now, yeah, I'm kind of relying on people like the canteen staff and the couple of managers at work actively trying to help my situation from their end. Feels weird, but they haven't broken any promises just yet. I'm taking it as a good sign.