Sloth: The Man with the Hammer

[Sloth the Enduring]

On 8/2/2018 at 6:31 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I'm glad you're enjoying biking again.  

 

Thanks. The funny thing is I never noticed that I stopped enjoying it. 

 

On 8/3/2018 at 3:06 AM, elizevdmerwe said:

Except if he has one of those low down bikes you sort of lie in, and not a normal bike... (recumbent bike is the word). This is probably the only bike I won't fall off.

Glad for you!

 

That is doing biking wrong. Very wrong. 

 

On 8/3/2018 at 7:11 AM, LouCarJo said:

I'm tentatively sticking my toes back in the NF pool.  Haven't caught up at all, but you are looking good in that bike gear shot!

 

It’s good to see you again. Don’t catch up, it’s just blah, blah, blah bikes and blah, blah, blah I hate yoga. Just jump in here. 

 

On 8/3/2018 at 9:41 AM, DJtrippyT said:

 

this is awesome! 

 

I like the mental explaination of the bike racing, it sounds so much better than "I have a lycra fetish and enjoy chafing"

 

which is what it says on my tinder profile. 

 

 

 

I would swipe right so fast my thumb would get a friction burn. 

 

On 8/3/2018 at 3:36 PM, Elastigirl said:

We ow have a bedroom AC. Hormones and heat doesn't mix very well, and it becomes very easy to forget ay ideas one had about how much better fresh air is.

 

FB tells me it’s been exactly 8 years since we got a window unit for sleeping. Which is about when Mrs. Sloth’s hormones started acting up (she got an early start).  I usually sleep on the porch when she runs it.  I’d rather get used to the weather instead of hide from it. 

 

11 hours ago, Xena said:

 

Yup, that's a terrible feeling!

 

 

Wait...what? All of them? I know how you feel about pants, but ...

---------

So I'm impressed with your race, but now I really want to hear about if you have another race planned that's more suited to your bike? I want you to have another chance to suffer go out and kick ass.

 

Yes, all of them. What happens on the tubing river stays on the tubing river. 

 

I have a 40 mile off road race on Sep. 15.  It’s mostly Jeep track and my bike is set up perfectly for that. I looked at full suspension rigs and there’s no way I could afford a race bike, but I will keep my eye out for a good used suspension fork. 

[Sloth the Enduring]

Hmmm.  I don’t remember much of note for the last couple of days. I haven’t ridden in three days. Which is making me kind of anxious or maybe restless is a better word. I was busy with kid stuff and whatnot and just didn’t have a block of time unless I did it after dark.

 

Today I packed for our annual trip to the water park. Then I helped a friend move. Yesterday Mrs. Sloth told me there’d be time to ride in the afternoon. On the way home I figured out the route I wanted to take and which Lycra I was going to wear. I was taken aback when I got there when I saw people on my patio because I really wanted to ride. Then I saw they were my friends. I was taken aback again when I noticed how totally dirty and smelly I was and that I could wring the sweat out of my shirt. 

 

Mrs. Sloth arranged a small get together for my 50th birthday (it’s on Monday). She said it was only people I didn’t mind talking to. It was nice, small and casual and didn’t go late. I totally forgot my birthday was coming up even though we go to the water park so that we don’t have to deal with the whole birthday thing. 

 

She said I’d have time to ride tomorrow before we leave. I’m not convinced. 

 

My next event is Friday and Saturday night. The Powderhorn 24.  It’s an underground* 24 hour race that goes through my neighborhood. The course is a four or five mile loop that is exactly one short block away from my house. I don’t plan on racing the whole 24 hours. I’m doing this on a lark, not to win it. I figure I’ll sleep at home for a few hours and maybe shut down a little early to pack up.  

 

*As with @Xena‘s running fight club, it’s not literally underground but totally unsanctioned.  Like the Cannonball run.

 

[Mrs Van]

3 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Mrs. Sloth arranged a small get together for my 50th birthday (it’s on Monday). She said it was only people I didn’t mind talking to. It was nice, small and casual and didn’t go late. I totally forgot my birthday was coming up even though we go to the water park so that we don’t have to deal with the whole birthday thing.

Awww, that was sweet of her.

Happy birthday for Monday! Enjoy the time at the water park, and I hope you get that ride in!

*hugs*

[DJtrippyT]

Happy Birthday!!!! You beat me to 50 by three months. Go be awesome in your mysterious semi legal race.

 

 

[Snarkyfishguts]

Happiest Birthday!  I hope you get that ride in and all your wishes come true  this year!

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Happy Early Birthday.

[Emma]

Happy Birthday!

[Xena]

As you may suspect (or even already know), I love secret underground races (that aren't literally underground).

 

Happy birthday!

[Sloth the Enduring]

I woke up this morning and put my Lycra on right away and commenced to load the big rig. Mrs. Sloth gave me that look and said, “I don’t think you’re going to have time to ride.”  I didn’t say anything, but kept loading. When I was done I did go on a ride, albeit a short one. 24miles. I felt tight for the first 17, but loosened up and felt strong afterwards. 

 

Mts. Sloth is still mad at me. Awww, marriage. But I wasn’t about to go 4 days without a ride. 

 

We are at Jellystone We’ve been coming for seven years. We have a nice cabin with no neighbors yet. It’s sprinkling right now. Cross your fingers for good weather.  

[deftona]

I know you don't really do this so I'm going to say it quietly and give you a thump on the arm. 

 

Happy birthday! 

[Mrs Van]

5 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

When I was done I did go on a ride, albeit a short one.

Your birthday gift to yourself! You deserve it.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

10 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I woke up this morning and put my Lycra on right away and commenced to load the big rig. Mrs. Sloth gave me that look and said, “I don’t think you’re going to have time to ride.”  I didn’t say anything, but kept loading. When I was done I did go on a ride, albeit a short one. 24miles. I felt tight for the first 17, but loosened up and felt strong afterwards. 

 

Mts. Sloth is still mad at me. Awww, marriage. But I wasn’t about to go 4 days without a ride. 

 

We are at Jellystone We’ve been coming for seven years. We have a nice cabin with no neighbors yet. It’s sprinkling right now. Cross your fingers for good weather.  

She's the one who said you could ride today since she Birthday partied you yesterday.

Yes, I've been married enough to know there is no wisdom in speaking those words aloud.

[jstanlick]

12 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I woke up this morning and put my Lycra on right away and commenced to load the big rig. Mrs. Sloth gave me that look and said, “I don’t think you’re going to have time to ride.”  I didn’t say anything, but kept loading. When I was done I did go on a ride, albeit a short one. 24miles. I felt tight for the first 17, but loosened up and felt strong afterwards. 

Sounds like a good ride overall! Anytime you can finish strong, something went right.

[shaar]

On 8/5/2018 at 12:33 AM, Sloth the Enduring said:

 

 I usually sleep on the porch when she runs it.  

 

 

This actually sounds like a lot of fun, unless there are bugs or snakes or something I guess, maybe the Lizard King could stand watch..............

 

12 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

We are at Jellystone We’ve been coming for seven years. We have a nice cabin with no neighbors yet. It’s sprinkling right now. Cross your fingers for good weather.  

 

ARE THERE REALLY PEOPLE DRESSED LIKE YOGI BEAR THERE??

[Shello]

Have fun waterparking.  I just got back from Wisconsin Dells.  We drove past the local Jellystone Park there daily driving from our campsite into town.  

[Sloth the Enduring]

On 8/5/2018 at 3:55 AM, elizevdmerwe said:

Awww, that was sweet of her.

Happy birthday for Monday! Enjoy the time at the water park, and I hope you get that ride in!

*hugs*

 

Thanks  

 

On 8/5/2018 at 8:12 AM, DJtrippyT said:

Happy Birthday!!!! You beat me to 50 by three months. Go be awesome in your mysterious semi legal race.

 

 

 

Hah. You’re a youngling. It’s not too mysterious, but I bet they don’t have liability insurance. 

 

On 8/5/2018 at 9:54 AM, Snarkyfishguts said:

Happiest Birthday!  I hope you get that ride in and all your wishes come true  this year!

 

Thanks!  

 

On 8/5/2018 at 1:15 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Happy Early Birthday.

 

Thank you Padre. 

 

22 hours ago, Emma said:

Happy Birthday!

 

Thanks  

 

17 hours ago, Xena said:

As you may suspect (or even already know), I love secret underground races (that aren't literally underground).

 

Happy birthday!

 

Thanks. Me too. I don’t do any officially sanctioned races any more. 

 

12 hours ago, deftona said:

I know you don't really do this so I'm going to say it quietly and give you a thump on the arm. 

 

Happy birthday! 

 

Hah. You know me well. 

 

9 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

Your birthday gift to yourself! You deserve it.

 

 

 

4 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

She's the one who said you could ride today since she Birthday partied you yesterday.

Yes, I've been married enough to know there is no wisdom in speaking those words aloud.

 

I knew how this was going to go down, but I also knew I get hangry for biking* after a couple days off.

 

*only true when I’m in the groove, like this summer.  

 

3 hours ago, jstanlick said:

Sounds like a good ride overall! Anytime you can finish strong, something went right.

 

Thanks. I just love that feeling when you’re on a false flat or in the wind and you’re cranking it out and putting the hurt on. 

 

2 hours ago, shaar said:

 

This actually sounds like a lot of fun, unless there are bugs or snakes or something I guess, maybe the Lizard King could stand watch..............

 

 

ARE THERE REALLY PEOPLE DRESSED LIKE YOGI BEAR THERE??

 

YES!!! CINDY DROVE UP IN A GOLF CART TO SAY HI YESYERDAY!  This park downplays the Yogi Bear thing compared to others. The first one we went to had Yogi and BooBoo on a hay wagon doing sing-a-longs. 

 

Our porch is screened in and we have a bat colonie in the old basswood tree. 

 

2 hours ago, Shello said:

Have fun waterparking.  I just got back from Wisconsin Dells.  We drove past the local Jellystone Park there daily driving from our campsite into town.  

 

Nice. We originally came here as a low-budget alternative to the Dells. 

[Ensi]

Happy birthday!

 

[Rooks]

On 8/5/2018 at 12:01 AM, Sloth the Enduring said:

My next event is Friday and Saturday night. The Powderhorn 24.  It’s an underground* 24 hour race that goes through my neighborhood. The course is a four or five mile loop that is exactly one short block away from my house. I don’t plan on racing the whole 24 hours. I’m doing this on a lark, not to win it. I figure I’ll sleep at home for a few hours and maybe shut down a little early to pack up.  

 

Ok. You, sir, are a badass. You are turning 50 and still rocking 24 hour underground street bike races. If I be have as badass as you are in 15 years, I'm going to be winning at life.

[Sloth the Enduring]

22 hours ago, Ensi said:

Happy birthday!

 

 

Thank you

 

22 hours ago, Rooks said:

 

Ok. You, sir, are a badass. You are turning 50 and still rocking 24 hour underground street bike races. If I be have as badass as you are in 15 years, I'm going to be winning at life.

 

Hah. Thanks brother. I’ve never considered myself a badass. 

[RisenPhoenix]

Damn Sloth - I've had to catch up a bunch but I second @Rooks.  You are a certified badass.

 

Also happy belated birthday!

[Sloth the Enduring]

8/6/18 Monday 

 

I was allowed to sleep in and then Mrs. Sloth took me to brunch at the bar & grill down the road. We spent the day at the water park. I don’t know how to frolic in the water so I spent most of it floating around the lazy river.

 

i went on an afternoon/evening ride. As soon as I got on the bike I felt good and felt like I looked good. As I was leaving a golf cart full of drunken moms whooed at me. Bleary-eyed drunk and in need of glasses they may have been, but I’ll take it. 

 

The ride was glorious. The roads in this part of Wisconsin are designed for high speed milk trucks and are really nice to ride on. After a couple of hills that I crawled up, I hit some false flat and gentle hills. I put the hammer down and rode at a furious* pace. 

 

Several miles less in I saw a turtle in the road in the path of a monster truck. I threw my bike down and chased this turtle off the road. The thing about turtles is the are really fast after they’ve been basking. I had to do the hokey-pokey to catch it.  My legs were seized up after that and I cursed the lizard king for making me choose between my legs and the turtle. A mile on I saw a squished turtle and I knew my sacrifice wasn’t in vain. My legs came back to me and I set a pace that was only a slightly less furious. 

 

I got got to the edge of Black River Falls, which is a cesspit of meth dealers, and was hassled by some teens in a Jeep. I decided to turn around instead of going through town and set a furious* pace back to the water park. 

 

I got in 42 miles in total, the bike computer said an average of 17 mph. Perhaps not stellar, but honestly, it was as good a solitary ride as I’ve ever had, even in my wayward youth. 

 

The kids were missing when I got back. I was assured they were fine. They were still gone when I got out of the shower and it was getting dark. I rode all over the campground looking for them, but they eventually wandered back on their own. 

 

Afterwards we had birthday tacos, lime-a-ritas, and cake. All-in-all it was a good birthday. 

 

*furious only in comparison to my normal tepid pace. 

[jstanlick]

That sounds like a pretty awesome day. Well done!

[shaar]

24 minutes ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

 My legs were seized up after that and I cursed the lizard king for making me choose between my legs and the turtle.

 

I'm sorry.  I've had a talk with him and he just said "all for the greater good" so you know

 

Whatever that means

 

Something something squished turtle....

 

Hasslin' aside it sounds like a killer birthday!!

[Shello]

3 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I spent most of it floating around the lazy river.

 

As I was leaving a golf cart full of drunken moms whooed at me.

 

The ride was glorious.

 

I cursed the lizard king for making me choose between my legs and the turtle. A mile on I saw a squished turtle and I knew my sacrifice wasn’t in vain.

 

it was as good a solitary ride as I’ve ever had, even in my wayward youth. 

 

Afterwards we had birthday tacos, lime-a-ritas, and cake. All-in-all it was a good birthday. 

What an epic day. 

 

Also, happy Birthday

 

[Sloth the Enduring]

On 8/7/2018 at 1:28 PM, jstanlick said:

That sounds like a pretty awesome day. Well done!

 

Yes, it was.  Thanks. 

 

On 8/7/2018 at 1:31 PM, shaar said:

 

I'm sorry.  I've had a talk with him and he just said "all for the greater good" so you know

 

Whatever that means

 

Something something squished turtle....

 

Hasslin' aside it sounds like a killer birthday!!

 

I’m always happy to rescue a turtle. Thanks  

 

On 8/7/2018 at 4:35 PM, Shello said:

What an epic day. 

 

Also, happy Birthday

 

 

Lol. Thanks.