Tired of Failing

[Elisha]

Hello:

My weight issues started during the last two years of high school when I started gaining weight and eventually went from a steady 130 lbs to 188lbs. I ended up losing weight with a combination of Weight Watchers and moving to Chicago, where I walked every where. I was 21, almost 22 when I was finally down to my goal weight. I kept it off for a few years, but I started gaining it back after I had a 2 hr each way commute to school 5 days a week. 

I thought, "Once I graduate I can focus on losing weight." That was in 2009 and I am heavier than I have ever been. I am up to at least 200lbs. I have tried so many different things and have gone back to Weight Watchers several times. I'm actually paying for the service right now.  Mostly, I let excuses get in the way, but the last two years I have repeatedly hurt my back and the last two times I have gone on Weight Watchers (October and this month) I have gotten really sick after two weeks and can't focus on a diet when I can't even get out of bed. I currently have the flu, but I'm hopeful Jan 6th will be plenty of time to get better.

I was going to sign up for the Academy, but I don't want to sink money into something else and fail at that too. I love the idea of the challenges and after looking through the forums, I want to try a few of those before putting money I don't have into something else. 

My biggest challenge is staying motivated. I don't see the changes I want to see. I'm also fatigued all the time. I never feel refreshed when I wake up and when I do feel like I have some energy, it never lasts more than an hour. I know I need to get up and move anyway, but when I put a lot of effort into something for weeks and I don't see results, I just quit. What's the point of doing it all if nothing changes?

 I'm tired of each day going past without anything to show for it. I don't really know how to keep the motivation going, but I'm hoping I can find some tips here. 

The best results I have ever seen were when I went to a gym 1-2x's a week. A group would show up and the owner would have a work out for us that would leave at least one person about to throw up every time. Now, I have done several "work out 6 days a week and see crazy results" and I never see any changes in strength or appearance, even after 2 months. I saw such strides in strength and inches lost in such a short time working as hard as I could for 45 minutes once or twice a week. I went to the gym from Dec to April. I was doing great, but my job called for over-time for a month and I quit going. Then I moved an hour away. I want to get to a place where I can push myself as hard as that trainer pushed us. I want to be able to find that in myself. I felt so strong and capable. 

I am preparing to live in an RV and travel the country so I won't be able to join a gym or get a trainer. I really need to find it inside myself to push myself and become what I want. I want to be able to do pull ups. I have infamously poor upper body endurance. I want to be impressed with the things my body can do. I want to be able to do hand stand poses in yoga. And I want to wear shorts for the first time since I was 24 and not feel self conscious and that people will be grossed out by my thighs. It would be awesome if my legs didn't chafe when I wore said shorts. 

As for a more short term goal, my older brother is getting married in April and I am a bridesmaid, I can't lose 40 lbs of fat and gain 30 lbs of muscle in that time. I am going to focus on gaining upper body strength (the dress is sleeveless, with a full length skirt.) If I work on getting definition in my arms/shoulders, I think it will help me stay motivated for a couple of reasons: I have the least amount of fat in that area so I will see results faster, if my arms look toned everything else will be hidden so I won't feel as self-conscious. I'm not talking about spot-reducing. I don't have any fat on my upper shoulders and little on my upper back. I have more fat on my upper arms. I won't have supper cut biceps or triceps, but I should be able to get more defined delts and better posture. 

[CourtnieMarie]

I think you're on the right track with getting into the challenges! I've never done WW, but do you monitor how many calories you eat? You mentioned fatigue and it got me thinking that maybe you're not eating enough actually. MyFitnessPal.com has been a huge help for me to track my calories and macronutrients. but you have to manually put in how much you want to eat and the carb/protein/fat ratios since their pre-determined numbers are pretty bogus. I figured out my maintenance calories and ate a little below that for about two years and lost around 75lbs. If you haven't already, I'd find out your TDEE (total daily energy expenditure) and see how much of a difference you're eating now from that TDEE number.

 

good luck and can't wait to see you in the challenges!

[Elisha]

Hello:

In WW, it is a point system instead of calories. If you make healthy choices you can eat quite a bit. I will check out that app, thanks for idea.

[shmegz]

I struggle with the motivation versus quick, visible results as well. My advice is to make sure you do those crazy, on-the-brink-of-vomit workouts. I find doing a sprint workout is the best for me and withing a couple days, I notice I'm not as tired doing the same sprint distances, so I up the number of sprints or the length or shorten the rest period in between.

I tried WW and never saw any results either. I found it hard because I would either cook or go out and nothing was ever on their lists.

Good luck in your weightloss and traveling journeys!

[Nightcrawler_Bamff]

One of the biggest things that helped me stay motivated when I was doing a workout program was to take pictures of myself so I could compare.  You look at yourself in the mirror every day so you wont notice the changes as easily.  However when I compared my pictures after a month (when I was still not noticing anything myself), I could definitely see fairly significant changes.  

 

I am a lifetime member of Weight Watchers and love the program...Need to start counting my points again though.  I love that you are allowed to eat whatever you want as long as you plan for it and keep yourself accountable.  

 

I am doing my first six week challenge coming up here too!  Good luck!

[Elisha]

Hi Nightcrawler and shmegz:

I have taken pics before (usually with the beach body stuff) and still don't see results. I wish I had taken pics when I went to that gym. I bet I never would have agreed to work OT if I had. I want to work out that hard, but like I said, I'm not sure how to motivate myself to work that hard when it's just me. 

 I love weight watchers, but I'm finding I have a lot of trouble with it now. When I first did it, they just focused on smaller portions and now they are focusing on eating better, which I wanted the first time I did it. I really don't know why I'm having such a hard time. I eat better than I did when I lost weight the first time, by far. WW food is delicious. Maybe it is when I go out, I want to enjoy the process and having to pick something WW friendly at a restaurant is not enjoyable to me, but right now, on the weekends, we eat out for almost every meal due to necessity. (We are rebuilding the RV and we don't have a kitchen at the moment.)  It just seems a let down to go out and get something that I probably could have done better at home. And then I can't really have any dessert because even the average meals at restaurants are very high in points. 

 

Thanks for the encouragement! 

I just need to suck it up, it's only until the RV is finished anyway. 

[Basement Cat]

Welcome Elisha!

 

Mmh, if weight watchers is not really working out for you, you could try going paleo. Cut out grains, legumes and dairy (last is a gray area) and don't worry about counting calories. It's working for me and for a lot of people here, so why not give it a shot for one month?

 

About your brother's wedding: you can't spot reduce fat. if you tend to accumulate fat in a certain area, most likely you are going to lose fat from there first. If you want give your arms definition, you need to lose fat everywhere. I would suggest that you do a complete body workout (strength training, bodyweight training, etc.), then you will lose fat as you gain muscle. You don't need to gain a ton of muscle to gain definition, you need to reduce your body fat percentage. Even if you work out your arms like crazy, the muscles are not going to show through the fat.

 

As Steve says: your diet is 80-90% of your success. Focus on clean eating, do some exercise to get in shape, and you will reach your goals eventually. Good luck!

[Elisha]

SilverRapier:

Thanks for the feed back. I'm not trying to spot reduce. I plan on doing the beginner body weight circuit. I will most likely add an extra arm work out though. I know I can't spot reduce, which is why I tried to explain that isn't what I want to do. I just wasn't very clear, I guess. I think my arms will be the place I notice change first, specifically because I don't have a lot of fat on my arms. My fat is mostly in my lower body and chest, although my stomach is not immune. The women in my family are very busty and I happen to have a booty to match. Which does come in handy as I carry extra weight well, I have just let it get too far. 

I plan on trying paleo in the future. It is something I have been thinking about for a long time and I have been interested in it. That is one of the reasons I started looking at this site. I don't know if I will go Paleo the first challenge though. I may start with one or two days a week as paleo, but in the second half of the first challenge. 

I have been thinking about it a lot today and I think my problem with diet is, whenever I have gained weight, it seems that food has become my main/only source of pleasure. I have either been extremely depressed, very busy/stressed out (like 4 hours commuting/day or working full-time while trying to rebuild an RV, spending 24/7 Monday-Friday as a care taker.) That isn't to say I don't have hobbies. I just enjoy food the most so I don't really know how to fix it. It really is an immediate and relatively cheap high that I can get 3x's a day and since I have to eat, unlike other pleasurable activities, there is no guilt about taking time from working on the RV when my brother has driven 2 hours to help. It is difficult to maintain a diet when it is turning my main enjoyment into a chore.  I think I have identified the problem, I just need ways to deal with it. It isn't even like WW food is bad, it's good. 

It isn't like I don't laugh and have fun so I'm at a bit of a loss. 

Does anyone have any good resources/suggestions for something like this? 

[citizenkade]

Weight Watchers seems to work really, really well the first time around. I had a lot of success the FIRST time, but the last two times I tried it, things went poorly. The Beginner's Body Weight Workout is GREAT, I highly endorse it!

 

There is a lot of truth to the above comment about not getting enough to eat; your body isn't getting enough of the right fuel, so you get fatigued. Work on adding lots of "clean" food into your diet, and get the processed foods out of your diet. You'll find yourself feeling really good really soon!

 

Welcome to the Rebellion!

[Elisha]

citizenkade:

 

Thanks  

I'm definitely trying to get all the processed foods out of my diet. It is one of my long term goals. I have already tried one of the recipes from the site and I have looked at a few of the paleo cook books I have seen mentioned. I like that it seems extremely easy. I am a 15 minute dinner kind of gal. If I can't get it from the cutting board to the table in that time, I probably won't eat it. Luckily broiling meat and pan searing veggies takes about that much time. I always get stuck for lunch though. I don't like sandwiches very often and in the past, I have not been a fan of salads. I am learning to like them though. I have found a few varieties that are really delicious and I actually look forward to eating them. 

[CourtnieMarie]

I always try to cook a bit extra for dinner and take it in with me for lunch! Otherwise, I'll do canned chicken or tuna with a salad or beans or rice or whatever I have on hand!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[citizenkade]

It's all baby-steps, right? Little adjustments to the big picture that make everything fit. You'll get there!

[Elisha]

Thanks Courtnie Marie and Citizen Kade. I kind of disappeared for awhile, but I managed to keep up a few good habits. Now I'm back on for this challenge.