cn3wton, Battle log of Ages

[Elastigirl]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It is really helpful. 10+ years ago,  I did low carb. I did lose weight, and at first it worked great. I lost weight. But, then  my workouts plateaued and then got worse. I would "cheat" and end up way overeating.  Then I just went to maintenance and did calorie counting. Calorie counting worked great, but then I just got burnt out on it. During the Covid lockdowns, I gained some weight,  I tried to lose it with calorie counting, but never stuck to the plan. Then, I just decided to focus on getting strong, eating protein, and not worry about weight loss. I'm in the need to lose 10 pounds camp. But, right now, I'm just working on having good eating skills  and getting strong. I love your thoughts about allowing yourself some not so great choices. One thing I'm focusing on is getting away from the all or nothing approach. Choices between perfection and just eating whatever.

 

 

[cn3wton]

1 hour ago, Elastigirl said:

One thing I'm focusing on is getting away from the all or nothing approach. Choices between perfection and just eating whatever.

 

This is certainly the big thing. There's a balance between I will never have Pizza again and I will have Pizza every meal. Finding that balance and what works for your own body AND mind is like the hardest thing. Yes people can convince themselves its okay and end up overeating. And the opposite is also true where someone goes all or nothing and has to eat 100% strict and ends up miserable.

[The Most Loathed]

 

  

5 hours ago, cn3wton said:

My internal struggle with Training for Aesthetic

 

...

 

Any kind of training requires hard work. Whether its for strength, physique, skills, or every day life. It is all hard and there is no inherently right or wrong choice. What can guide you down the wrong road is objective. If you aren't doing it for yourself you are likely to fail.

 

FWIW, I've gone through some of the same mental machinations. I'm sure I am still going through them but only future me will see it that way. For many years I trained for strength because it felt more "honest" to me. Those people that trained for other reasons were "dishonest" in my view at that time. I'm now lifting only for size for a variety of reasons but among them was that I'm in the waning years of being able to make myself look muscular. I wanted to give it one good go before life shuts the door. In my current view I'm just as "honest" as a strength focused person but I'm honest about the fact that a new PR won't motivate me in the same way that looking a little better, in my own opinion, will right now. 

[cn3wton]

16 hours ago, The Most Loathed said:

FWIW, I've gone through some of the same mental machinations. I'm sure I am still going through them but only future me will see it that way. For many years I trained for strength because it felt more "honest" to me. Those people that trained for other reasons were "dishonest" in my view at that time. I'm now lifting only for size for a variety of reasons but among them was that I'm in the waning years of being able to make myself look muscular. I wanted to give it one good go before life shuts the door. In my current view I'm just as "honest" as a strength focused person but I'm honest about the fact that a new PR won't motivate me in the same way that looking a little better, in my own opinion, will right now. 

 

Hell yea man. Glad to hear that I am not the only one who fell into the same trap.

 

As far as physique and age goes man I just don't know how much I believe that. I have seen this idea proven wrong time and time again by people around me. My 87 year old grandfather had visible abs until the day he died and never went to the gym. Granted he never stopped moving and wasn't the same as when he was younger. But I've seen plenty of men past 40 and 50 that spit in the face of the idea. At the same time it does take a lot of work for sure.

[cn3wton]

Online Dating is an interesting space.

 

I don't hate it, especially now that I approach it in a rational and understanding way. It's a numbers game in part, but there's also the fact that sometimes a match just doesn't happen because of BS. You have such a limited shot and scope of the people on the app.

 

That being said it is a great confidence booster when someone you are interested in matches with you. The ability to put myself out there has significantly improved, and at the same time it is helping me with overall confidence which is incredible. I know too many people that have been crushed and beaten down by it, so I am thankful that so far this has not been my experience.

 

There seems to be some pretty interesting mindsets when people talk about it. It seems you have the majority of people my age that are "over it" and want something serious. While there's a small amount that go the more casual route. Personally I am in the middle ground. I am not and likely never will be a hookup/one night stand guy. But it is interesting for me to hear about peoples thoughts on that side of it. Personally I think all of these things should be more casual. You are starting this whole thing off based on some form of attraction. If your on a dating site to date that should be obvious. I want to build a connection with them and see where it goes. I don't understand some of the women I have matched with who try to act like there's no point getting to know each other if its not going to be  super serious from jump. Perhaps it's an age thing. I have the age range set pretty close to my own on these sites. Being 33 without checking I think its like 25-40? The interesting part is younger girls that lie about their age. I have learned to be skeptical when a girl appears to young. Typically they give themselves away with how they act and what they are looking for. But 1 or 2 only admitted they lied about their age and were early 20's after we had been talking. I'm kind of in a weird spot with how to respond to that. For one I truly believe that age can be just a number. There are plenty women my age on the apps that act like teenagers. I have no time for that. My cousin married a woman 10 years older than him along with similar situations I know. It is all just a little bit confusing, especially when you look at some of the data on matches on dating websites with comparative age. 

 

There's so much BS tied up around all of it honestly. I feel like there's so many ideas in my head that have been put there that I just kind of parrot what I think I should say instead of thinking about what I actually want after thinking about it for myself. It's an interesting and strange time in my life but one I am certainly embracing.

[Shello]

On 12/12/2023 at 11:24 AM, cn3wton said:

Galactic Bread

 

I like where you're going on the 'diet' thing.  A restrictive diet is difficult and unsustainable.  You need to find ways to work in variety and just realism.  Whether that's a few weeks of maintenance here or there, high calories days, or just working it in.   On the Lose It app I can set some days to be higher calorie days so that helps balance out those life events where it's hard to be restrictive, but I also work in treats on a daily basis and leave room in my calorie budget for chocolate or sweets or just whatever.  I definitely don't want to track food forever and have burned out a number of times.  I'm just hoping that eating my routine becomes habit and at some point I don't need to log anymore.  

 

20 minutes ago, cn3wton said:

There's so much BS tied up around all of it honestly. I feel like there's so many ideas in my head that have been put there that I just kind of parrot what I think I should say instead of thinking about what I actually want after thinking about it for myself. It's an interesting and strange time in my life but one I am certainly embracing.

I fully endorse online dating since I met my husband that way.  Your experience is much like what I expected mine to be as well but I was lucky enough to meet my husband right away.   I went in to it with zero expectations.  If people weren't a match at least I'd have someone new to chat with and I looked at possible dates as just a fun way to go do something new with someone new.  If they didn't work out at least I got an evening experience out of it.  Being honest is crucial and I really came to that realization when I started exploring the site.  It doesn't make sense to be dishonest with who you are, what you look like, or what you are looking for just to get a match.  If you match that way then you wouldn't be compatible in real life long term so why waste everyone's time?   I went in, honest about where I was in life and what I wanted.  If someone didn't like that then we just weren't a match.  

[cn3wton]

4 minutes ago, Shello said:

I fully endorse online dating since I met my husband that way.  Your experience is much like what I expected mine to be as well but I was lucky enough to meet my husband right away.   I went in to it with zero expectations.  If people weren't a match at least I'd have someone new to chat with and I looked at possible dates as just a fun way to go do something new with someone new.  If they didn't work out at least I got an evening experience out of it.  Being honest is crucial and I really came to that realization when I started exploring the site.  It doesn't make sense to be dishonest with who you are, what you look like, or what you are looking for just to get a match.  If you match that way then you wouldn't be compatible in real life long term so why waste everyone's time?   I went in, honest about where I was in life and what I wanted.  If someone didn't like that then we just weren't a match.  

 

I have heard a few similar stories thank you for sharing!

 

I have tried a few different apps in the past, this newest one seems to be a bit better so far. Though I think its one of the more popular ones so maybe there are just more ppl on it.

[Shello]

4 minutes ago, cn3wton said:

 

I have heard a few similar stories thank you for sharing!

 

I have tried a few different apps in the past, this newest one seems to be a bit better so far. Though I think its one of the more popular ones so maybe there are just more ppl on it.

I used Match.  I liked the parameters you could use in your searches but I guess I didn't really look at other apps to see what their filter options were.  

[cn3wton]

1 minute ago, Shello said:

I used Match.  I liked the parameters you could use in your searches but I guess I didn't really look at other apps to see what their filter options were.  

 

I have not tried match yet. Might be something to try in the future if the current one doesn't go well.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I used OK Cupid since it was free and that's how I met Sra. Tanque. 

[cn3wton]

16 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I used OK Cupid since it was free and that's how I met Sra. Tanque. 

 

I tried that like 7 years ago and didn't have much luck. Of course I had next to no photos and they were horrible so that's probably a big factor haha.

[deftona]

On 12/16/2023 at 12:04 AM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I used OK Cupid since it was free and that's how I met Sra. Tanque. 

 

I met TH on OKCupid. 

 

But don't let that put you off. 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

2 hours ago, deftona said:

 

I met TH on OKCupid. 

 

But don't let that put you off. 

Win some, lose some...

[cn3wton]

5 hours ago, deftona said:

 

I met TH on OKCupid. 

 

But don't let that put you off. 

 

3 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Win some, lose some...

 

I feel like there's a story here... 

[deftona]

17 minutes ago, cn3wton said:

 

 

I feel like there's a story here... 

 

I tell all in my 2024 Road Map so stay tuned for that when it's published. 

[cn3wton]

21 hours ago, deftona said:

 

I tell all in my 2024 Road Map so stay tuned for that when it's published. 

 

For a second I just pictured stacks and stacks of physical books that you were throwing at people on the street for some reason... God I am tired. hahaha.

[cn3wton]

 

If I never post again know that I was brutally murdered by a woman I met on a dating app...

 

In all seriousness She's a nice girl and I know it won't come to that. Just trying to use some humor to not think about potentially upsetting her before the Christmas holidays. 

 

The old me would have stuck around for her sake. Just getting more and more miserable and that's not good for either of us. In all honesty I have waited too long as it is, as I have known for 2 weeks that it was going nowhere. I have just been working 18 hours a day since our last date.

 

It has been a blessing and a curse to have been "out of the game" for so long. I don't want to get into too many details but it's been a pretty great experience so far and done wonders. I feel very fortunate. Something that has always been a bit "taboo" for me is talking about casual relationships. I always viewed dating and every part of a relationship something that had to be super serious. I only introduced my family to 1 girlfriend in my entire life. Meanwhile my cousins were bringing different girlfriends all the time. I am not saying either way is right or wrong, but that I have learned what I am looking for and how to approach a healthier relationship. 

 

Even now posting about this stuff there's a slight twinge in the back of my head that says "You shouldn't be saying this stuff, it sounds like your bragging." or "You shouldn't want this stuff you should be trying to find a wife." It's far from the case. I am also pursuing genuine connection. It's not strings of one night stands that don't mean anything if that is what "casual" relationship means for some.

 

Another big thing that has come from this is a more firm belief in the kind of person I am. For a long time I had self doubt about my motives and felt jaded. Maybe I wasn't a good person. Maybe I had just learned to act that way. I have learned through these genuine interactions with these woman that I am indeed a good person. Things like speaking in person with the woman tonight seemed like so obviously the right thing to do I didn't think anything of it. But I have been told by countless people I have spoken to (most women) about it and they all say the same thing. What an amazing thing that is to do. It seems weird and slightly sad that I finally truly feel like I know myself and my character. 

 

Maybe because for so long I actually took being the "nice guy" as an insult. Oh yea that's Corey, he's such a nice guy. But that's all I had to offer.

 

Anyways that's another oversharing ramble from yours truly. Back to work.

[DarK_RaideR]

22 hours ago, deftona said:

I tell all in my 2024 Road Map so stay tuned for that when it's published. 

Can't wait!

[cn3wton]

DuoLingo

 

So I have seen many people on here rave about duo lingo. I have wanted to start learning another language for some time, and Spanish seemed to always be the most useful one. I just never really got around to it.

 

Well thanks to the wonders of the internet I am speaking with a girl who speaks English but originally spoke Spanish. So now I have incentive WOOHOOO.

 

I am liking it so far and making semi decent progress while shirking other tasks.

[Scaly Freak]

If you're looking for friends, for quests or just general moral support, I am Scalyfreak on Duolingo as well.  

[cn3wton]

31 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

If you're looking for friends, for quests or just general moral support, I am Scalyfreak on Duolingo as well.  

 

Didn't know that was even a thing! haha

[cn3wton]

Whenever until 12/26?

 

Catching back up after the last update in my challenge I finished the week out strong feeling really good about the progress I have made. I have continued to focus on nutrition.

 

I ate before my family christmas parties. One I had nothing at, the other I had some of the protein options, but that was it. I was very happy with my self control and the proteins were good and cooked on the grill/smoker.

 

I finished out the week doing some odd jobs around the gym, getting renovations on my kitchen and dining room really going. And all in all being in a pretty good spot. I'm sure I am forgetting a few things? Oh yes I also was told to expect a call to schedule an interview for the new potential job. Not sure if I shared that before or not? Oh well!

 

12/27

 

I need to get my sleep back in order. I have been staying up later than I should be and not getting up early like I was. Just because I am off doesn't mean I should break this habit. So that is something I am working on getting back into.

 

Duolingo is going really well and I enjoy it. I'm interested to hear what people think of it as far as actually learning the language. But I can tell that I am recognizing a bit of spanish. I know it will take time and I am at the most basic level their is as well. I have found a few people that I am trying to converse in spanish with. I type out what I think it should be then use google to help me out. I am stuck saying super simple things, but I am fairly happy so far with everything. It's far from perfect but its a start.

 

I got to the gym around 10am today to do odd jobs for money on the side. After 6 hours of that I texted a friend to see if hed join me for a workout. He agreed and I got ready while I waited for him to arrive.

 

I did deadlift today because I was under the weather post christmas so I am a bit behind. I was also tired from working all day. While also not having eaten anything but protein drinks yet that day. So I didn't expect much.

 

I did 180lbs x 5 x 5 and was pretty pleased with it.

 

I worked up to a heavy single of 235 but decided not to try for more. I knew my back was getting tired and I didn't want to push it after the long day. But then I decided to do farmers carries with the trap bar as our "workout". We started with 90lbs on the bar walking down, setting it down, turning, then walking it back. We added weight until we finally reached 200lbs on the bar. My grip was holding up super well and I was very happy with that. That trap bar is 35lbs so ironically I picked up and carried 235 lbs again today. Of course the slightly raised handles on your sides do alter the motion a bit.

 

Dating is a bit in a wait and see moment. The previous date I had set up didn't respond that day to texts so that basically means that is over. I am chatting with 2 women now. One is likely not going anywhere as she does not initiate conversations and her responses are mostly 1 to 2 words. The other was going fairly well, but nothing as of today. Hoping it was just a busy day and she did say she wasn't feeling well. But all in all I am still pleased with how its going. 

[Elastigirl]

2 hours ago, cn3wton said:

I worked up to a heavy single of 235 but decided not to try for more. I knew my back was getting tired and I didn't want to push it after the long day. But then I decided to do farmers carries with the trap bar as our "workout". We started with 90lbs on the bar walking down, setting it down, turning, then walking it back. We added weight until we finally reached 200lbs on the bar. My grip was holding up super well and I was very happy with that. That trap bar is 35lbs so ironically I picked up and carried 235 lbs again today. Of course the slightly raised handles on your sides do alter the motion a bit.

Nice!  

[DarK_RaideR]

On 12/28/2023 at 5:22 AM, cn3wton said:

Duolingo is going really well and I enjoy it. I'm interested to hear what people think of it as far as actually learning the language. But I can tell that I am recognizing a bit of spanish. I know it will take time and I am at the most basic level their is as well.

As a fellow learner of Spanish on Duolingo with zero previous knowledge of the language and some 125+ day streak, I can tell you it does help you get going, but it's a very slow process and you'll often feel like you've been running around in circles learning the same things again and again. It definately feels more like a crash course for people about to go on holidays or study abroad rather than actual lessons, but it works well enough and I've found myself picking up words/phrases I've learned or occasionally conversing with my dad who's actually done Spanish classes for a few years. My main gripe is that Duolingo doesn't quite have a structure to what it's teaching you, so for example you never actually learn how certain verbs change depending on who's doing the act, or you just randomly learn a bunch of numbers without learning to count from 1 to 20. In that sense, it feels more like memorizing than actually understanding and learning. That, and the fact that after a while, you tend to pick up on the tricks of the algorithm, so you can get past the questions without really understanding the language, so you need to pause and force your brain to do the mental lifting, as opposed to just gaming the system.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

3 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

As a fellow learner of Spanish on Duolingo with zero previous knowledge of the language and some 125+ day streak, I can tell you it does help you get going, but it's a very slow process and you'll often feel like you've been running around in circles learning the same things again and again. It definately feels more like a crash course for people about to go on holidays or study abroad rather than actual lessons, but it works well enough and I've found myself picking up words/phrases I've learned or occasionally conversing with my dad who's actually done Spanish classes for a few years. My main gripe is that Duolingo doesn't quite have a structure to what it's teaching you, so for example you never actually learn how certain verbs change depending on who's doing the act, or you just randomly learn a bunch of numbers without learning to count from 1 to 20. In that sense, it feels more like memorizing than actually understanding and learning. That, and the fact that after a while, you tend to pick up on the tricks of the algorithm, so you can get past the questions without really understanding the language, so you need to pause and force your brain to do the mental lifting, as opposed to just gaming the system.

I found my previous study of Spanish very helpful when studying  κοινή Greek. The present active indicative endings in Hreek are very similar to Spanish Present tense, for example, and some of the prepositions work the same way in both languages.